Live from Lowe Street Studios, downtown Des Moines, you are Live from the Path. You're listening to Live from the Path on Des MoinesAmplified.com. Thanks for joining us tonight. I'm glad to be here. It's just me, Mike, and Dan hanging out in the studio. People getting the holiday spirit. What are you guys doing? I didn't know we were… Did we start at 10 o'clock now? I got the wrong headphones. Hold on. I thought this was a… I thought I had a half hour. I've got to get stuff out of my pocket. Yeah, that's the right one. Okay, we'll rock. Hello, hello. Anyway, you're listening to Live from the Path on Des MoinesAmplified.com. Are we live? For being here, we are. Daniel's oppressive in my headphones. Oppressive? Yeah, like he's really loud. Hey, you. You monkeys, you. Hey, man. Seriously, the cap for sale is up to 700 hits on YouTube. Man, we rock. No, we don't. I mean, the book obviously does. The most attention we get is when we plagiarize someone else's work. What does that mean? Disaster. Jesus stuff, 25 hits. Caps for sale, 700. What does that mean? What does that say? It means we… Could we have snuck some sort of Lord message inside the caps for sale? We should have changed it to salvation for sale. You monkeys, you. Give me back my faith. It's a giant play on words. Or put Jesus as the peddler. He's like, you Pharisees, you. Oh, we'll have to come up with our own.

I like it. I scratched my phone today. I don't know. It's a big scratch. I don't even know how I did it. It looks like an eyelash. I know. It's a scratch. It's a legitimate… Hey, do you have one of those little dots on your eyes? Like when you look in a certain light, when the snow's out or in a certain light, you can see a little dot on your eye. And you try to look at it, but it's on your eyes. And it moves. So every time you try to look at it, it just keeps in the same stagnant area. Yeah. I don't think I have that. It's a real beast. I've had like a little hair. Sometimes I'll see a floaty thing come down. I've had it every once in a while. I haven't seen it for a long time, but anyway. Huh. I always notice it during hunting season. Like I go hunting, and I'm awful. I'm absolutely terrible at it. But I go, and they sit for like four or five hours at a time. And I'll sit there and stare at nothing for like four hours, and then all of a sudden, two and a half hours in, I'll see that little dot, and then it'll plague me for the next two hours. I'll shoot it. I'm supposed to be looking at deer, and instead I'm looking at this little speck of my eye. And every time I look to the right, it goes all the way to the right, and I can't see it again. That's awesome. It's terrible. I can't track it down. It's elusive. Stacy's concerned that you're on drugs. Thanks for your concern.

I saw a bunch of deer with a nice buck in the middle of them tonight on the way here. There's probably a better way of saying that. That's where they travel, yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just kind of like, oh, that's kind of cool. Yeah. You don't always see the buck, you know. But I had one, I had one actually, I thought they were challenging me to a foot race, to be honest with you. So I was driving down the road, he pulls up a side of the highway, and I'm going 25 or whatever, and he's going 25. So me and him are head to head, and I think he's trying to roast me. So I put on the gas, he speeds up. And then he finally veers off like he was giving up, he didn't have time for me. I really thought we were in competition. Yeah, it was something else. He was probably showing his friends. Watch this. Stay in the trees. Check this out. Yeah. That's kind of cool. I don't know. I don't know what's cool, really. Yeah. I thought it was cool, so it probably isn't. Actually, I know what's cool. What's cool is life in the path on Des Moines Amplified.com. That is cool. Tonight, coming up on the show, we're going to be talking a little bit about, we have, what? Are these yours? Yeah, they're mine. Get them out of here. I got non-biblical signs of the apocalypse tonight. There's some solid gold tonight. I don't know, you guys. Multiple beverages. Yeah. Yeah, I was afraid I was going to drink this hot chocolate too quick, so I got a water

with a cap on it. There's no open drinks in the studio allowed, so there's a cap on it. I got a screw on. Yeah. So anyway, we'll do non-biblical signs of the apocalypse. We're also going to talk a little bit about New Year's resolutions. I want to hear if you guys have made any. And we're going to see if we can come up with the formula of creating a decent New Year's resolution, because I think those are kind of tough. Godly and a secular resolution, if you must. Sure. I will talk about my struggle with smoking, which will be very interesting for everyone. I'll enjoy it. Yeah. Will we laugh at you? Well, you'll laugh at why I went back to smoking. Oh, no. It's comical. So I do the life transformation groups, that me and a couple, three other fellows. It's kind of a program where you go to the main church body, and then you have your small group, which you attend once a week, or with a group of whatever, 10, 15 people. And then you've got the small person-to-person groups. And so I joined one, and I love it. I really love it. It's really helped. It's great. You've got some dudes holding you accountable for it. You've got going, they ask you questions, and you've got to answer them, and then you've got to tell them whether you were honest with them. Yeah. Did you lie to me? Yes, did you? Crap. They always put that one at the end, so you were scooting like, okay, wrapping up. It's like, by the way, did you tell the truth to me today? Time's going to slide. So anyway, one of the questions is, did you indulge in any addictive behavior this week? Yeah. And so every week, I was rocking in there. Yep.

You know, at least I'm being honest. You know, virtuous Mike. Look at me. I'm a smoker. You know? And so finally, you know, a month or two goes by, and Ben goes, you can't just keep coming in here and saying, yeah, smoker. He goes, you have to quit. I said, oh, well, I thought we were just being honest about the questions, you know, confessing sin or whatever, you know? And he's like, no, no, you've got to change your ways. And I was like, well, okay. So I go through this whole rigmarole, and I'm like, I'm going to pick a date. And I was thinking on it, and I'm like, I don't want to plan it out. And so I thought, I'm driving, and I'm like, hit me with a date. And one pops up. I'm like, okay, December 17th. That's my date. Shows up out of nowhere. And I start looking. It's a Friday. I'm like, oh, disaster. So it doesn't matter what day it had been. I'd have looked at the counter and gone, oh, disaster. Yeah, yeah. What a mistake. Because I'm addicted to smoking. Not on Wednesdays. It doesn't matter what day it had been. So I'm like, yeah, no, okay, fine. You know, I'm on this. I'm going to heavy prey on it. I'm going to hand it over. The Lord's going to take care of me. And so knowing that the crux of this whole thing is me handing it over, like the Lord can most certainly handle this operation. It's me giving it to him. It's going to be the issue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the Friday rolls up.

I'm rocking solid. The faith is strong. I'm working on it. I'm praying. I'm hitting it. I'm hitting it. Everything I got. I'm like, okay, fine. Friday rolls through. No smoking. I'm like, yeah, well, this isn't so bad. You know, whatever. You know, handing stuff over to the Lord. I can do this all the time. What else can I get rid of? You know, I got sin aplenty. Exactly. And so, you know, Friday, and then Saturday shows up. I get a little jittery. You know, I'm not sleeping real well because I smoke and I drink a lot of caffeine. And it balances each other out so I can still sleep at night. Yeah. Well, so now I'm continuing the caffeine uptake and I stop smoking. So now I'm up at all hours of the night creeping around. You know, it's like 2 a.m. I'm sitting on the couch going, what am I supposed to do now? So I check my email. I read CNN. I read the John Acuff blog. What do I do? What else is there? I'm out of stuff. You know what I'm doing? Should I clean something? Nah, I don't clean. I don't want to clean nothing. So I'm like, well, I'll just have a smoke. I'll go to bed. You know, it worked. You know, I had a smoke.

I got tired. I was out. I'm like, well, you know, if on the road to quitting, I just got to smoke everyone, you know, just to get myself to the bed. That's fine. That's fine. Well, that's what's known as a gateway compromise. Oh, no. So what happens is, so the Saturday, it's 1. The Sunday, it's 1. The Monday, that's 2. And then by Tuesday, I think, well, I'm only smoking like one or two a day. It's not really an addiction anymore. It's just something that I enjoy doing, you know? And the Lord's not against smoking, per se. It's addictive control over you, you know? Sure, sure. All words of an addict going, well, I could stop if I wanted to. It totally sounds, you know, I'm not really addicted, you know? I'm just having one. So here's a week later, right back to where I started, smoking like an idiot. So it never occurred to you, you could maybe drink, like, decaffeinated pop? Yeah. Or? So I have two major addictions in my life. One is smoking, and the other is soda. And I doused the soda for the fast. When the 40-day fast came up, I junked the soda, and I thought, and I always said, you know, if it ever came to, I've got to give up smoking, or I've got to give up soda, I'll give up smoking, because I really love soda. And then I ditched soda for the fast, and it went okay, you know? I'm like, okay, you know? So then, you know, when I said I was going to quit the smoking, you know, the soda came back with a vengeance. You know, like, you said you'd never get rid of me. You know, how dare you? I tried drinking water, and I'm like, I hate water. Tell me we're friends. I just, I can't stand it, you know? I thought, here's the thing.

The funny part about it is, is that the Lord most certainly held up his end of the bargain. I took it back from him, you know? And it was, you know, they make it sound like, you know, when you try to quit smoking or an addiction of some kind, you know, the first day is supposed to be terrible, awful, I can't stand it. The second day, you know, bad, bad. It wasn't that bad. Like, it wasn't that bad at all. Like, it was completely okay, no problem. I had no reason to revert back to it. I used a lame excuse and headed right for it, which is pretty much the description of almost every sin I commit in my life. You know what I'm saying? Like, I see it coming. I know what it looks like, and I go, ah, look at that. Well, you know, it can't be that big of a deal. If there's no sin, how can the Lord forgive me? So, am I hearing you then that you've pretty much given up? I mean, you just like, you haven't like said, well, okay, I'll go ahead and set another date. You've just kind of said, well, it looks like I'm in. No, I'm coming back at it. Here's the deal. He's going to have a harder and harder time showing up for this life transformation group. Exactly. With this business. Oh, sorry, busy. Got to work late. Okay. Now, I'm going to tell you something about these LTGs now. Here's something to know. If you're going to get involved in one of these LTGs, a mano, a mano conversations, they're going to pick the earthly bad things like they're not supposed to do and turn them into you're the worst man ever. I say, I'm going to quit smoking, you know, which is the devil in everyone's eyes. You can't smoke. Smoking's bad. You're a terrible person. Ah, blah, blah. You're awful. You know, so these other fellows are addicted to like stupid crap, like stopping at the gas

station or, you know, whatever. I'm addicted to my wife. Yeah, you know, addicted to dumb stuff and I'm like, so I'm going to tackle smoking and then they're going to tackle, oh, well, you know, if I happen to go to the gas station again, it's really not that big of a deal, but you devil smoker, you're the worst man ever. I'm like, we're both addicted to something here. Can we get on the God playing field and stop roasting me? That's not the way it goes down. Nice. I'm still a jerk. You are still a jerk. See? Ben's in my group. I'll stop going to the gas station. No, no. Yeah, no, no. So here's the story that he tells is he says, he says cigarettes are still like around his house, like where he's living, like there's cigarettes available. So I come to find out that like, it's not that they're sitting out on the table or like left in his car or anything. Like he's digging through places to find them. He makes it sound like there's a guy handing out smokes at the front door when he's leaving for work. Yeah, but you know, I'm just attempting because they're out. Oh, by the way, I have to dig them out of places. That's awesome. I'm addicted to smoking. Now, wait a minute. Here's what I said. I said, here's the uptick. Since I've failed, I'm still smoking like a quarter of what I was, you know, like it's an improvement. Right. But it is not the full tomato that I was going for. Congratulations on continuing to fail. This is the kind of, see, this is the support system I've set up right here. I say, look, it's an improvement. I'm working. My support system says, well, it's a good thing you're working at being a failure because

you're rocking that. You're doing it really well. You're addicted to being a failure. You're going to get the failure of the week star. Sometimes I wish I would have been an LTG with Jared. Good job, Mike. That's a way to aim low. I know you tried. Jared's a nice man. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Disaster. Oh, man. So anyway, that's the funny part about me slowly adjusting McTie. Yeah, see, I'm an LTG too, and what I hate is, how do I say this? You know, you've got someone who says, you know, they have an addiction or, you know, on that particular question, I'm addicted to this or that, and, you know, it's kind of stuff like, yeah, you've got to quit that. And I'm sitting there thinking, what am I addicted to? It's like, well, M&Ms. And they're like, seriously? Yeah. I mean, that doesn't even count, dude. I know. It's like, but honestly, I can't stop. I mean, it's like, it's not like, I can either have three pounds or nothing. Right. You know, I can't, I can't moderate M&Ms, especially when they're cold. Oh, frozen M&Ms in the back of my car. Dan was dishing out frozen M&Ms two weeks ago after the show. To little children. Like, would you like some candy? It's bad. It's bad. It's real bad. But if everyone else is having them, then we're enjoying them as a group. But it's one of those, it's like, it's not just me in my car. It's an acceptable sin, you know? It's like, oh, but it's M&Ms, oh, it's cute, you know? It's like, no, it'll give me a heart attack.

I will die. I mean, mine will be an instantaneous, you know, my heart shuts down and it's over. Yours will be more of a slow, painful thing. So, you know, still, I'm, I don't know, it's just not good. We're all working at something. Yeah. What? Why you got to demonize mine? Because you're awful. Just because they don't have commercials of little babies, you know, coughing in the back seat while Dan's eating frozen M&Ms, doesn't necessarily make his addiction any better. They have the lonely baby going, where's my daddy? His addiction is delicious. We all like what he's addicted to. As a byproduct, I enjoyed some as well. I might walk by Dan and go, hey, man, you've been eating peanut M&Ms, all right. All right. Why does your car always smell like Febreze? You chewing gum? What are you about? That would be funny if you kept, if you like went outside like a smoker does to go eat your M&Ms so that they're frozen. You had a bit of pack. A bunch of M&M sympathizers out there with you. Hey, man, can I borrow a yellow? Come on, man. Come on. All I brought was a habit today. I did a fast from sweets a few years ago, and actually it lasted quite a few years. It was a big deal. And I mean, I never broke it. I had no problem. But what I would do is I would open up a bag of M&Ms, and I'd sit there, and I'd smell it. And they'd be like, oh. See? See? You think I'm ridiculous. I am not ridiculous.

I'll tell you this. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I walked into the church office one day to see Dan head in like a big bag of commercial M&Ms. It's the big ones. Yeah. It's the big ones. We've been away. Yeah. Can't you just see it? Bin rolls up. We're having some kind of meeting. Here's me outside smoking, and Dan's smelling M&Ms. Slide one in. You know what? Meeting's over. You guys need to get back to praying. But I had no problem. I could not eat them. But then when I ended that fast, it was like, okay, well, now I can have them. It was like, I probably gained 20 pounds. Literally. You know? Like within three months, I was like, oh. I'm like, dude, at least chew them, you know? And then I kind of slowed. I'm pretty, actually, right now I'm pretty good. Did I, not me, I failed. I hope you feel pretty good about yourself. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good right now, actually. I'm not sure if you can legitimately huff candy. You don't, it's amazing. Dan, did you take a big whiff? I mean, like a concerted whiff? Or like a vivacious? Like, you'd be typing something, go, and put it back? Or you'd like have to take a break from what you were doing? No, it was like, I'd open a thing, I'd dumped them into a container, and then, like, there was just like, there was this bag, and it's just like, oh. You know, you kind of squeeze the bag, and the air comes out, and it's like, oh, that smelled pretty good.

That smelled like peanut M&M's. You like to put your hands in the bowl. Look at that, if I could feel them. Welcome home. I like to open my mouth and hold them in, but not actually take a bite and then lick them. Lick them. How come these M&M's are sticky? I don't know. Stay out of my M&M's. Saving those for five years. Somebody licked all the M's off of them. They don't taste the same without the M's. I don't think that's huffing, though. I think huffing, you have to take, like, isn't that… Have you seen the stuff that people huff nowadays? Hold on. I don't know. It's like air canisters and stuff. Maybe I don't know. Maybe I don't know what it is. Like the electronics sprayer. The electronic air sprayer. Yeah, yeah. You know how much that stuff costs? I can't. Like, I don't buy it for its original purpose. I don't. It's like six, seven bucks. And now they have, like, limits on what you can buy, don't they? Or you have to be, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure there's no videos of people huffing on YouTube, so I certainly hope we're not going to reproduce them. Yeah. Maybe I don't know what it is. You know huffing. What's this? What's this big thing? Is this a guy huffing?

Oh, no. Probably profanity. No, I don't… Yeah. Rick and Rick and Frick and… Just like last time. Darn ear cans. You know, that doesn't really come up with M&M candies. It comes up with a bunch of featured slideshows of Prince William, Jeremy Piven, and Kristen Davis from Sex and the City. Did Olsen lead you astray? No, it's Stacey. She's trying to get us back for that stuff. Sorry, Stacey. I've never watched Sex and the City, ever. I've seen it. I have seen it. There's a lot of shows I've just never seen. Like Dancing with the Stars? Exactly. You've seen it. No, I did see… That was last Monday. A sing-off? Yeah. That was actually kind of cool. I enjoyed that. Yeah, Ben Folds is on there. Yeah. Who was that? He was the third judge that looked like a Dorcas. With the glasses? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's an awesome piano player. Hmm. Awesome. It was good. I mean, Danielle was watching it.

I said, okay, I'll spend some time with the college girl. I haven't seen her for a while. Where's the M&M's? I just got some M&M's over there. Just two. That's all I need, two. It was real enjoyable. They had some pretty tight harmonies and stuff. Yeah, that show's not bad. Like, it really isn't bad. Of course, it was like the last one, so all the best ones were there, so. Yeah, they got rid of the rigmarole. I've never really watched, like, America's Got Talent and all that stuff. American Idol? Never seen it. Really? Never seen it. I've not even walked to the room and like, oh, okay, and I leave. I don't care. I mean, there's a difference between, like, not seeing it, like, not watching it, and like, avoiding it. Like, you walk in the room and say, American Idol, oh, I don't care. I'm leaving the room to go sniff M&M's. Yeah. See, they're occupied. They're watching that, and I'm like, I'm in the back room doing M&M's. Hey, look, a girl with Bambi's on. Don't mind me. I'm going to go fix my gumball machines. I'll be back a little later. But see, I've got to. See, this is not funny. It's not. That's a legitimate addition. I know, but that hair is back on my microphone. See, I don't need those shows. I've got the Pathway Band every Sunday. I can sit there and listen and go, oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. Listen to that band on the beige.

That's mighty fine. Mike's tickling the ivories. Wait, Mike, will you stop it? Disaster. He just inverted his thing. I'm tired of his hair bothering me. It's grueless. All right, all right, stop that. Quit it. Quit doing it. That's terrible. I can't believe we're maintaining viewers. You're gone. Until you start to behave yourself. You've been listening to Life from the Past on Des Moines Amplified.com. Put me back in, coach. I'm suited up. So, as pants appropriately summarized, if you've missed everything, Mike is a jerk. He's smoking his way into an early grave. Dan has a mild, seems to be a mild to severe addiction to M&M's either sniffing or eating. One or the other. I'm holding up. I go to the gas station too often. That's my addiction. Just drive through? Hey, you know what? This is kind of fun. Let's do a chat confessional. It's cathartic. That's good. That's good. They're with the retirement account. I like chocolate milk and a little chocolate milk in the morning if I can get it. A little breakfast sandwich. It's good. You could buy a case like at Sam's and save you. I know this. I am aware. I have a gallon of chocolate milk at home. I buy a quart in the morning on my way to work.

So, for a while, I got to putting chocolate milk in one of those glass milk containers and taking it to work with me. Yeah. So, I would drink that and then drink water the rest of the day. Do you think you could stop chocolate milk? Yes. But not for how long? Like a few days? A couple of days? I'm just wondering. I don't need to. This belly is natural. It's a defense. You don't think that's maybe affecting your heart in any way? It sure sounds like an addict trying to say, well, I guess it's not a little bit. It's not hurting anybody else but myself. It's getting hot in here. Oh, man. It's 2%. So, I even stopped tonight because I had to get something to drink. Here's the thing. These are things that are available to me at home. I just like to stop and get them. I can drink water at home and bring it in a jug. I totally understand what you're saying. I like to stop and get, I bought a hot chocolate from the quick trip. Is it the interaction with the people or is it just buying something at a high excessive price? It's not that I don't like to over speed. It's the making it. I think that's the issue for me. Because I could sell you M&M's. Like, you can't buy 20 ounces at home, like in a six pack. Yeah. They sell the 24-ouncers, but I like the 20 ounces. Yeah. And the breakfast sandwich. Do you know what it takes to make things at home? I tried to make my own breakfast sandwich for a week. First of all, it doesn't taste the same.

Yeah, it's different. Second of all, you've got to make it. I can walk into the gas station and walk out and be eating and drinking within a minute. But at home, if I want to eat and drink something, I've got to get out of the glass. I've got to pull the thing out. I'll screw the cat. You don't have people at home that can help you out with that? Oh, no. No, no. Mostly because of my gas station habit. She refuses to do anything for me until I stop buying things at the gas station. But I can't stop going to the gas station until she decides to help me out. And it creates a bunch of dishes and stuff. It's kind of a circular issue here. But it's relatively cheap, too. I'm going to say it was a couple bucks. That's a couple bucks. Yeah. Times 30. 30 days a month. Plus the chocolate milk. I'm just kind of guessing. If you fasted that and threw it in your tithe, you'd be in my better shape. So would the church. Mike, someone has written lazy three times in succession of the chat. I'm going to give you a guess. That they're lazy? No. They're referring to you. I'm lazy? For what? For not making your own breakfast. Legitimate people make their own breakfast. Well, it's not the woman. Yeah, it's the woman. The woman's not on. Being lazy, being lazy, being lazy. There it is. 10.25 p.m. Woman, the internet is not working at your place.

Maybe she went to the library. Okay, so let's see what the chat's got. Karen says, when I'm stressed, I buy nail polish because it's the cheapest thing to buy to soothe my shopping therapy. That's a good move. Sometimes I get stressed. I have to go shop. I don't know why. I'm like a guy. That's weird. You're not sniffing the nail polish? Yeah, see? I'll be like, well, I guess we need some groceries. I'll go buy something. Well, groceries seem all right. I try to. Generally, I buy things. I don't like to buy cars. How much is a thing of nail polish, generally? Depends. If you go to Ulta, you're going to spend eight bucks on the Oki or whatever. I don't go to those ladies' stores, Dan. I've got a house full of girls. And Shanna's addicted to doing people's nails. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Huh. She's done some really killer ones lately. You should bring some photos. I should. I was going to put them on my Facebook and I keep forgetting. All right. So nail off. Actually, so that's, if you know that you're going to go buy something, choosing to buy something cheap to keep yourself out of the straights, that's a good move. So let's say you're really addicted to smoking and you just smoke one instead of 20 a day. How am I the devil? Huh? What's the difference? What do you mean? Because you're still buying the whole pack.

Yeah, but what if I only smoke one a day? Because you're still killing yourself. The nail polish will eventually kill you. No. You know how many pigs had to die to get the pain there? It's fine then. It's killing the pigs, but Karen seems to be okay. So you're okay with being a pig murderer? Sure. You disgust me. Why? The Lord put them on for me to kill them. Not for nail polish. I like bacon, too. Yeah. Oh, come on. Yeah. Allison, it is certainly a difference. It is a difference. I don't notice any difference. It's destructive. The smoking is destructive. Yeah, but the point is the addiction. Not what it is you're addicted to. Because there's something controlling you. Yeah, there's something controlling you. But I would say that it obviously doesn't completely control you. Hold on. Because you don't make a distinction about what you buy. Let me look through the Bible for the Book of Ben. Hold on. It must be somewhere in the back. I'm not fighting it. I don't understand. From the tribe of Benjamin. By the way, if you're Ben, you can make personal distinctions because he's your brother and you are most aptly to judge him, seeing that he probably has a f*** in his eye, which you have to get out directly, which you can obviously see clearly. Jerk. Wow.

Oh, no. Fine. Karen, you're an awful person. There. Does that make you happy? Disaster. You know what? We really make Shanna happy, Karen. Go ahead and buy really nice nail polish. Give it to Shanna. You know, that saves me money. Makes you happy. Makes Shanna happy. What if I was addicted to buying hot dogs and giving them to homeless people? From the gas station? Is that a problem if it controls me? I think it depends on your motive. I'm compelled. I'm compelled to help people, to love on people? No, just specifically to buy hot dogs and give them away. Okay, wait a minute. Now, can you make the distinction between putting your family in the poor house because you bought so many hot dogs to give to the homeless? Hold on. Let me… I can answer… Hold on. Okay, I can answer the question. Yeah, so I had some random cash in my pocket today on the way here, and I picked up a water and a hot chocolate in the way of the studio, and I had $7 cash in my pocket that I had for like till Wednesday, and we needed the seven bones, generally speaking. Randy comes up to my window, a homeless man, Randy. It says… I don't know. I can't tell he's homeless now. He looks pretty rough. That's his name tag. Homeless. Randy. Here's my business card.

I'm homeless. Used to be homemakers. I had to scratch out the last part. It says telephone number. What for? Yeah, so he kind of… He didn't knock on the window. He kind of hung outside, and you could tell he's trying to look for me, so I rolled in the window, and he's like, oh, thanks for even noticing me, man. Look, I'm really embarrassed, but I'm looking to get something to eat, and I got $0.80. Can you help me out? And so I gave him the seven bucks I had in my pocket, because I assumed that he needed it more than $0.90. Because remember, because I told you, if you had… I never have cash. I don't know how Randy found me, but I said I would hand it over, and I did. Maybe God sent him. Well, see, that's why… It's weird, because I actually had been thinking a lot over this last week, especially with Christmas and stuff. Jesus talked quite a bit about helping the less fortunate, and I'm afraid that sometimes I'm guilty, and not to sack myself and a group of other people who are also guilty, of taking that as less of an imperative as personal sin. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, I'm not supposed to sin, and I'm supposed to follow Christ, and we've spent all our time trying not to sin without looking equally at God's direction of helping those less fortunate. And I think we do tend to do that, because we figure, I've got to straighten myself out before I can help others. And I think we might be convoluting that a bit, because it requires a little bit less commitment. So I actually had been kind of thinking of that this week. It had been on my mind. It's something else I'd read earlier today. And so when he came to the window, I had a couple cents I could have given him, but I thought, you need this more than I do. What are the odds I had cash in my pocket? You do whatever. And then he goes, he asked me my name, and he said, you know, and I said, it's Benny. He's like, good, I'll pray for you.

I said, what's your name? He goes, Randy. I said, good, Randy. I'll pray for you. And then we parted ways. So me and Randy met at the thing. So, what? You got screwed. What do you mean? It's a prayer, prayer. Now it's even. But you're out seven bucks. Randy wins. Why? Well, of course he wins. I gave him seven bucks. Yeah. That was the point. So I'm going to pray for you. You're going to pray for me, even. Here's seven dollars. Yeah, but Jesus says, if you do something for the least of these, like the hungry, so forth, you're doing it for me. So really, you just served Jesus. I just gave Jesus seven bucks. And he's like, that's all you got? I know what you got. You smoked next to him. I gave you a better job than that. I'm pretty sure I did. You blow smoke in his face. Get away from me, Randy. It's just some me time. I'm busy. I'm having me time, Randy. I'm holding the fire. I spent my seven bucks on these cigarettes, sir. You'll have to buy food from my brother. Can I borrow one? No, man.

No. No, you can't. Actually, smokers are the most generous people around. Tell you what. Yeah. They'll give you one. I make more friends smoking than I would ever make without it. I still need to quit. But I'm telling you, as soon as you're on the same playing field, it's like going to an AA meeting or going to a Kiwanis meeting. You're all there for the same purpose. So you already have something in common. And so I'm already under the understanding that you're addicted to smoking, just like me. We have something in common. Let's speak. And then you can have a good conversation, even if it's about how much other people don't like you because you're a smoker. What if you took to wearing like a bowler? They don't like that. I'm just saying, like, is there another way? I'm going to tell you something about smokers. They can tell non-smokers a mile away. They can tell if you're out here posing as a smoker or if you're trying to get into a community of smokers. They know that you don't belong there. I'm just trying to make friends. Yeah. You got a candy cigarette. I bet there's a level of dress, too, like either you're overdressed or underdressed for the cold weather. Like, I always notice the smokers, the majority of them aren't as bundled up as you would otherwise think is necessary for, like, sub-degree weather. They're out there in a jacket and, like, a rough hat, and they're smoking. I think they really want to show their commitment to smoking. Like, I would be out here in an A-shirt and my boxies. If push came to shove, I would be out here smoking. It does show some commitment to the addiction. Yeah. I mean, they won't give up on it. It's freezing, boom, cold outside, and I'm still going out because I need it.

I'm telling you. They're a feisty group. I'm impressed. I'm really impressed with your dedication. Speaking of, I think I met Randy at the QT down here on Grant. Today? No, last week. Is he kind of an older guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Older guy. He's got a white beard. Yeah. White scruff on him. Yeah, a dark beard. Yeah, no, no. I have a different guy. So, anyway, I assume to be, he didn't claim himself to be homeless, but he, you know, he was looking for cash. So, I come out of the quick trip or whatever, stuff and get some gum or something, and a donut. I got a donut. A donut and some gum. You didn't eat that donut. No, I didn't. Okay. I didn't. Anyway, so I got some donuts and some gum. You're a smoker and almost morbidly obese. Anyway, so I walk out of the gas station, and he goes, hey, man, I'm really looking for some money for something to eat. And I said, you know what? Take this donut. He goes, no, man. I don't want to take your donut. I said, really? I don't need it. I said, it's just a frivolous purchase. I don't need this donut. He goes, no, I don't want the donut. How about your cash?

And then he walked away, and I thought, okay, see, I've done a good thing by offering the donut. Yeah. And he didn't want the food. Exactly. He's watching his weight. He gets very little food. The last thing he wants is a pile of goo with chocolate syrup on it. You're trying to, the man's already in the hole. I don't want to rehash this deal, but once again, I think the Lord has blessed you with certain amounts of money, and you frivolously give it away to drugs and boozers without checking their motivation first. I think it's a mistake. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. He's the least of these. He may not even know it. Did you offer him to pick him up for drugs on Sunday? Actually, I think that's your deal. You mask your attempt to witness with cash. No, no. You think, I should talk to this guy about the Lord, or I'll just give him seven bucks and he'll go away. No, no, no, no, no. Now, listen, I actually, I did think about that. As I was driving away, I thought, I should have done something else for him, but I didn't know what. I didn't know what else I could have done for him. Like, I thought I could have offered to give him a ride somewhere. I could have brought him down to the station. At least, he could have sat in on the show for a couple hours where it was warm. These are the things that occurred to me after I was driven away. Now, it says something poorly about me that I didn't turn around. I wasn't late. I could have very well gone back and talked to him and picked him up. And I do regret that. But I did think about that and thought that I probably could have. And this is the time to do it because I won't pick up people or talk to strange folks with

my wife and kids in the car. And so, it's not very often that I'm out and about without them. So, tonight would have been the night and I do regret that. I feel like I could have done more there and I regret that I didn't. Maybe he'll be back next week. Maybe. You can ease your guilty conscience. That's not the point. The point is not to ease my guilty conscience. Oh, I see. So, only when it comes to my addiction are we on semantics. What do you mean? But your failures are broad and widespread. And only the virtuous heart of God is within you. But Mike, who is semi-addicted to smokes, he's the worst man ever. Yeah, but you're aware of your circumstance and you continue to flaunt your failure. That's not what I'm doing. In what way? You showed up in a Joe Camel shirt. I did. I showed up in a Joe Camel shirt. You had a pack of smokes rolled up in your sleeve like a member of the Jets. I didn't do that. I don't know if I'm grease lighting in all this business. But I can pray for Randy. And I thought, I hope he's praying for me. That's cool. Maybe he's praying. Maybe that dirty scum will come back here and give me a ride somewhere. That's right. You know, that's the hardest thing, I think, to accept with your walk with Christ as you mature in it. Is saying, I hope someone's praying for me. I think when you first walk into it, you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What about me makes you think that I need your prayers? You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't need you. This Joe Camel shirt is a novelty. I don't need you talking to the Lord on my behalf. Me and him are fine. You know?

But I think when you start to mature in your relationship with Christ a little bit, it starts not to become such a personal affront. Yeah. Like, everybody needs prayer. You know? I hope people are praying for me. Well, yeah. Yeah. And I didn't used to be that way at all. People used to go, well, I'm praying for your family. And it's like, I don't need you to pray for my family. Whatever. Take care of your own family. I got this covered. You know, I'll pray for myself. Yeah. Me and God are fine. This is not a deal. Well, the thing is, it is a deal. Because there was way too many, I got this, I got that, my family, blah, blah, blah, in that statement. When it should have said, look, please do. Whatever the gods got going, make it happen. Definitely. By the way, just because it was clear and he was fairly proud of it, addiction from Just Vance's, I'm addicted to watching lame radio shows on the internet. He wanted to make sure it was clear. We can't help him out here. You're in the wrong spot. Yeah. Does this say anything about you have an addiction to making sarcastically mean comments on radio stations? Oh, I didn't, I don't think he was referring to us. I mean, our show is obviously not lame. No. I didn't say it was us. Did I? That's what I'm saying. Well, but if that was a mean comment, he's directing it to the wrong people. Oh, so you're okay with mean comments as long as it's not toward us? Yeah. He must be assuming Cassidy is watching right now. Either way, I'm sorry that you have that problem, but we can't help you here. Frankly, I don't even know your perspective or where you're coming from.

I don't know what it's like to be a part of or do a lame radio show. I would be clueless there. Yeah. I mean, solid gold. It's blowing my mind at the moment. I don't even have that perspective. Just trying to think about it. What would it look like? Take the opposite of what we do. That's probably lame, right? Probably. Okay. Okay. I'm getting a vision. You've been listening to Life in the Path on Des MoinesAmplified.com. We were talking about mild addictions, major addictions. I don't know. Anything depends on if you have a brother who will classify them for you. You're a dirty skis. I don't know how you sleep at night. Do you ever get addicted to stupid phone games? Wait, I know how you sleep at night. With a smooth smoke. Just before your head hits the pillow. Have a nice draw. Well, I've had my eyes closed for like 45 seconds. I guess I can't sleep. Well, I better go on outside. These blankets are too hot. Oh, it's too cold. Oh, these blankets. I just can't sleep. I could pray. No. No, no. I don't pray for anybody. Once I'm relaxed, then I'll pray. I can't focus on the Lord when I'm like this. Calm down. Be closer to Jesus.

You laugh, but this is the conversation that goes in the mind of every addict. Okay, so let me ask you this. As a smoker, this is coming from a guy who literally has never, ever taken a drag on a cigarette, ever. I mean, and I grew up in it. My dad smoked. I used to play with him. I'd light him and stuff, but I just, I don't know. Something I just didn't want to do it. What makes you the first time go, I should go ahead and light this and breathe that in? And then you kind of cough and gag, and you think, I should do that again. I didn't cough and gag. Oh, you kind of, it just kind of worked for you, huh? Yeah. I didn't do it right, to be honest with you, for the first six months, I think I smoked. Really? I wasn't even doing it correctly. You didn't inhale? Yeah, I thought I was rocking it. Really? I didn't start until the day I turned 18. Yeah? And I, you know, and I started, and I mostly used it as a anti-social approach, because we used to play in a band, and we played in bars, and it got me out of conversations. I would go outside and smoke. Yeah. And, of course, I could have just gone outside, but that's not how I saw it. Anyway. Could have gotten… Yeah, done just about anything. Fed homeless people or… Yeah. So, yeah, I didn't have that problem, and I didn't notice it, actually, until just this recent, you know, past week, when I quit for a couple, three days, and then failed, is that I don't notice, like, you know, like, they say that that smoking calms you down. The first one does. Like, I mean, that's just the truth, you know? Like, there's chemicals in there, and it does. It gives you, like, almost a lapping gas type effect, you know? And then, after that, it doesn't do anything. The first one does.

The rest of them don't. The rest of them are just plain-out habit. And I don't even like the feeling of the first one. Like, it makes me feel weird and groggy, and I just… I hate it. Yeah, yeah. But for some reason, I do it anyway. Just keep doing it. You know? So, it really is terrible. I mean, it did work for the sleeping. And I could see if someone had, like, some terrible emergency or something, you know, they're all freaked out. Give them a smoke and, you know, let them calm down a little bit. I wouldn't have any problem with that. But, yeah, like, the rest of it, it really is just an addictive habit. So, I mean, I'm so incredibly cheap, I don't think I could ever start it. Now, as an adult, as a kid, I was just too afraid to, like, oh, I'm going to kill myself or something. But as an adult, I'm like, that sounds expensive. Yeah, I could definitely see that, too. Well, it's the same reason that I don't drink. I'm like, this is outrageously priced. I'm not even interested in it, you know? You know, but the thing is, I think that probably speaks to the addiction, is I know exactly what they cost. Yeah. And I continue to buy them anyway. I could see that, because I had that short stint where I drank, like, right out of high school. Mm-hmm. And I don't know where I had the money before, but I sure spent it. Yeah. I was spending 60 bucks a week. We were going out. We were hitting it pretty hard, you know? Yeah, yeah. And I liked every minute of it. Yeah, and it's like, well, you know, what's the… Somehow you find it.

It wasn't a problem, you know? Well, and as soon as you stop smoking, the money goes somewhere else. You don't even notice it. Exactly. It's just like, as soon as there's a crack in the foundation, the water will find somewhere to go. Yeah. You know, as soon as you patch up the smoking crack, it'll go somewhere else, you know? Then you don't even notice it, so… You smoke crack? What'd you say? No, the smoking, the crack, and the… Okay, gotcha. I was confused. I just wanted to clarify. I got some real problems, fellas. I don't know what to tell you. I'm barely holding myself together here. Cigarettes are just a cover. I'm reading my Bible, smoking. Jesus speaks to me much clearer. I'm not hearing anything. It really opens up my mind. Jesus and shrooms. That's terrible. I shouldn't joke about that. That's not even funny. Sorry. People's lives are ruined by that stuff, and I joke about it, just because I'm so ignorant. I mean, because I really am. Well, the thing is, the funny part, maybe it's a giant metaphor for it, is that, you know, the same problems, big and small, are just as laughable to God. You know what I'm saying? They're not a big deal. You know, they're a huge deal to you at the moment you hand it over to the Lord. It's the same problem. He can take it. It's with everybody else. Oh, those are just M&Ms. Yeah.

No big deal. That's just crack. I can take it. Yeah, it's not. He's got a broad shoulder. He's had him all that. You've been listening to Life on the Path on the Mind. Ben doesn't know what to do with that. I really wasn't paying attention. I just realized that I was missing the bottom half of the chat. Like, I've been missing a lot of it. And so I was going back and reading through, and then there was a silence. And since I don't know what you said, I thought I'd say, you've been listening to Life on the Path on the Mind. That's cool. Because it was really good. Yeah, good. You don't want to go back and listen to it. So if you want to engage with the Life on the Path folks during the week, you certainly can at lifefromthepath.org. You can sign up for our newsletter. You can also visit our YouTube channel and check out performances from all the bands and stuff that have been on the show. Lots of cool stuff going on. And again, you go to lifefromthepath.org, and you can get links to all that. Mike, are you looking up something, anything in particular? No, no, no. It just pertained to the subject we were going to talk about today. I was just trying to find it. Okay. So coming up here in the second hour, we're going to do some non-biblical signs of the apocalypse. And in the interim, I was thinking this week about New Year's resolutions. So I've never been a real big goal guy. I have broad goals, but I'm terrible at tracking them. Well, there's one year that my wife's real good with goals, and she writes stuff down, and she keeps tracking them. She refreshes them and that kind of thing. I've got color-coded cards. I'm fairly impressed with her operation. Wow. I can't do that like I've attempted. And I built a database one time as an attempt, like figuring that maybe if I do it this way, I want to use it. It failed miserably. I didn't use it.

So I'm traditionally terrible with goals. And the New Year's resolution is kind of the same thing. And I tend not to do pie-in-the-sky things that I know I won't do, but I'll try maybe things that I've been having issues with or struggling with and shoot for the start of the year. And, frankly, I'm not sure what the right chord is. Like, really, if you're going to do a New Year's resolution, which, frankly, doesn't necessarily make sense, but if you want to throw a guidepost up and say, from here on, this is what I'm going to do, what are some realistic things to aim for, both from a Christ-following perspective and from a secular perspective? And how do you make sure you pull those off? I guess, Dan, have you ever done any? You do New Year's resolutions? You know, I used to every year sit down and write a series of goals. You know, I'd have family goals, personal goals, church goals, that kind of stuff. Yep. And basically, they're worthless if you don't put with that some type of system in place where you're going to accomplish it. You know, if you say, oh, I want to, you know, I used to, like, bench press all the time. Well, I want to bench 400. That was my big thing. And just because I wanted to in high school and never did. So that was really cool. I could sit there and say that all day long. If I don't lift weights, it's not going to happen. I don't know if I have a workout, you know. So I developed a workout. And it's the process of working it out that you finally hit it, whether you ever, it doesn't matter what your goal is. If you're doing the work, it's going to happen. Right. You know, and I think that's where people fall short is they try to make this big goal, but they don't ever make a plan of how they're going to do it. Right. You know, I'm going to lose 40 pounds. I'm going to, yeah. Okay, go. Yeah. Oh, boy, it didn't happen. That's crazy. So it's better to just adjust your lifestyle to do what you're aiming for. And then pretty soon it just happens, you know. So I kind of quit doing goals because I just thought what I need to do is make adjustments in my life. Yeah.

I'm going to quit eating donuts, you know, whatever. I'm going to quit eating M&M's. I actually do have that under control right now. Things like that. So, yeah, that's kind of how I've progressed. But there are specific things, like even at church, there are specific goals that I have in my mind. But so let's say you hit a certain attendance figure. Okay, we do three big events and woo-hoo, everybody came. Well, what did that, so what? Who cared? What really matters is that we have things in place to accommodate those people, the small groups, the LTGs, the, you know, we have something for them to do once they get there. They're not just going to show up and eat donuts that we give out. Right. But be involved and be a part of something. And, you know, so it's really more important that we have that stuff in place than if we have some obscure figure that we've pulled out of a hat and say, oh, this is, God wants us to have, you know, 900 people. Right, we have 900 people. We have 200 that are participating in the actual church. 700 just kind of float in and out. Exactly. That's not what we're doing. Yeah, we put on a big show and attract 900 people. Well, so what? Right. You know, how many are you affecting? And so it's kind of a different approach, but, you know, it's, you know, I was thinking about that actually just before the quit and smoking thing. Because I thought, I've never done anything on purpose to change my ways of anything. Like, I've never looked at something in my life and said, this needs to stop. You know, I'm going to change the way I do things now. Never done it. Like, I've slowly progressed and matured, so things went away. You know, whatever. You know, stuff that I used to do is gone and, you know, whatever, you know, this and that. My speech has gotten a little bit better and that, whatever. You know, things have kind of slowly gone away, but I've never said, that's it. This stops now. I'm changing my life here, you know, because I was about to, you know, there's caution, there's awesomeness available. That doesn't really work without it. It reminds me of that story where I tried to pee in that bottle.

Remember that? You know, I know. No, what? Thanks for having me. Dan forgot to take the top off his bottle. Oh, right. Okay. I tried to drink it. It was like. So, but I was going to, there's a guy that I was thinking about and I've been praying for him or whatever. And I thought, you know, someone just, I just need to call him and say, look, you know, you've kind of stumbled onto something good here. You know, take this opportunity to change your life. You know, take this as a, as a catalyst to say, okay, you know, something good has happened to me. I'm kind of hitting the right track. Let's use it and start rolling, you know? Yeah. And I thought, I've never done that. I've never done that. How can I honestly look at another person in the eye and say, you need, this, this is a perfect opportunity for you to pick something and go and change your ways. You know, when I didn't do that, you know, like, I mean, I most certainly would feel comfortable saying, this is a perfect opportunity for you to turn to God and see what he's got going for you. I can say that with full confidence, but I can't say, you know, pick this, change your ways, go, you know, because that's, that's not, that's not Christian hypocritical, which I'm okay with. That's just my hypocritical because I've never done that. You know, like I can't do it. Like I've, and I thought, well, this smoking is my first chance to show that, that, you know, I can really hand something over and give it a shot. And I tanked it, you know, whatever. I tanked it. And, you know, it is what it is. You know what I mean? The Lord talked about it, whatever. Yeah. But I thought, you know, I've never done that. All right. All right. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? Whoop myself in the back? What are those twisty things you put on your leg? Is that what you want to see? I knew I should have joined Catholicism every Sunday. I'm good.

Hey, man in the box. You'll never believe what I did this week. I quit smoking. Then I started again. Oh, man. Anyway, that's why it ties into that news resolution thing. Because I've never set, I've never actually set one. And I thought I was actually going to do it. Everyone else is just doing it. I'm like, well, it would be some little thing I could try to squeeze in here, you know? Yeah. But I thought, I know why I've never done it. Because I know I'd never do it. You know? Like, I don't make absolutes and say, go. Yeah, yeah. And so the New Year's resolution just never really panned out for me. You know, it's just like some people say, like, I want to read the Bible this year. You know, and it says it's a spiritual goal. And that's a good goal. Okay. But it can get so overwhelming. They'll look at it and they'll think, oh, well, you know. And then they'll start at the beginning and they'll get the Leviticus or something. They'll be like, I can't, I can't, you know, what? You know? You know, they get the numbers, you know, it's like, this begot that and just so many people. See, now, they're thinking of that wrong. Because you think begat, begat, and you're like, oh, man. And look at all this begatting. I thought, yeah, a lot of begatting going on in the Bible. How did that happen? I think, I support this. We're for it. No, but the thing is that if you just say, hey, you know what? I'm going to try to read two or three chapters a day. Well, guess what? Pretty soon you read the Bible. I mean, you know, you don't have to, like, have this overwhelming, I'll never get there, or I failed, you know. Just say, hey, I'm going to read.

Every day I'm going to pick up the Bible. Even if it was only for two minutes, every day I'm going to do something. Yeah. And pretty soon, pretty soon you have it done. I mean. Well, and that's, I mean, that's half the reason I joined the LTG. You know, not so much for the beratement and so I could feel like a terrible person. That was an added bonus. But I wanted to start reading my Bible and I needed someone to make me do it. Yeah. You know, because I knew I wouldn't do it on my own. You know, like I could set it, I could do the exact same thing. You know, I'm going to start reading this and this and I'd do it. And then, you know, I'd keep it up for about a week and then with Tang. You know, and that LTG's got you rifling through 30 chapters a week. And if you don't do it, you read the same 30 chapters next week until you do do it. You know, and I've come up short like two or three weeks in a row. Like I've read 24 out of the 30. And guess what? Here's me reading that same 24 next week because I didn't do it, you know. And I hate it, but I like it. You know, like I mean, I've probably read the book of Matthew four times this year. Yeah. You know, and why? Because I didn't read it in the allotted amount of time. Exactly. And so I tell you what, the book of Matthew means a lot more to me than it used to. Uh-huh. Because I know what's in there. God has something in there for you and he just had to read it four times before you got it. Yeah, I tried to use that at the LTG. Look, the Lord really has something for us in Matthew. So I didn't read the whole thing this time. I want to make sure you guys get it. We should spin it again. Disaster. Within a three, what are we, 52 minutes, I'm going to remember that. 52 minutes in, within a three minute time frame, use the phrase doo-doo and I hate it, but I like it. And I'm afraid I'm going to have to use that to your disadvantage. What did I say?

Doo-doo. Doo-doo. I hate it, but I like it. Doo-doo. I hate it, but I like it. I might not get it for next week, but definitely the week after. I see a promo tape coming. Actually, I suppose if there's anybody that has, Stacey mentioned in the chat that Harvest Ministries has good reading plans on their website. There's a couple of places you can go to get, if you want to be in your Bible daily, and these are computer oriented, but there's a bunch of places where you can get a daily Bible plan or like a Bible in one year, and they'll email you basically a chunk of scripture for you to read that day to make sure you're keeping up with it. Now, do you guys like the jump around daily Bible readings, or do you like the, like, are you chronological dudes? You know, like how it's set up? I'm going to read. I just pick a book and read it. Do you? Yeah. Like, I noticed a lot of these daily Bible readings are like, you know, read, you know, 1 Zechariah 1 through 16, and then jump over to Colossians or whatever and read some of that. You know, I'm like, boy, I just, that's just not my personality. I couldn't do it. I couldn't start reading some of this and then bail and then haul over. Like, I think they're getting themes, which is cool, you know, like a devotional type stuff, which is fine. You know, it's for others, but it's most certainly not for me. Yeah, no, I've got to read it. I've got to read it straight through. We, this last year, just talking to Cheryl about this the other day, we've had in the Sunday program a Bible reading plan. If anybody followed it, they would have read the entire Bible this year. I have no idea if anybody, I mean, never heard any feedback from anybody, like, saying, well, I'm glad you're doing this, or, so we're not going to do it next year. Just see if anybody notices that we're not doing it. Did you tell people that you were going to do it? Oh, I think it says in there, Bible reading plan or something. Yeah, I see it. I thought it was just an optional supplement to the current thing. Yeah, it's just a, hey, if you want to read the Bible a year, you do this this week. I think you should have said that. It doesn't say that in there? No.

I didn't read it. I think it says Bible reading for this week. And then I just think, oh, it's an addition. Like, I assume you're just rehashing the same scripture that was in the thing. And I'm like, yeah, I agree. I was there. Plus, what's it costing you? A half a penny to print it on there? Well, yeah, it's just space. Why don't you leave it on there? What are you going to put in a spot? Are there options? Maybe a picture of me? A picture of a hippo. A rendering? A picture of a hippo. Or a lizard. In a pipe linked. I was trying to think. I always come up with these big New Year's resolutions. But ultimately, they turn me into not me. Like, hey, man, bring flowers to your wife daily. I'm certainly not going to do that. And the man that my wife married doesn't do that. He likes the big gesture, the once every four months. We're like, I'm so lame. Here's eight flowers. As opposed to the daily one. I did that one year. It was like every week, once a week, we're going to have fresh flowers. Did you do it? Three or four weeks. I don't know. Because they sell cheap ones like a Hy-Vee or something. Like for $3.99. It's just a little thing to have, you know, with the meal, you know. It's like, yeah. You know, it is only expensive if you don't live next to a neighbor who has a tulip garden. I'm just saying it's an option. What are they going to do with them?

Tiptoe through them? I don't know. They planted them. It seems to be their complete discretion on where they go. Free-floating neighbors come over because they're in the streets with their wife and too cheap to buy flowers. So have you ever had your children pick flowers? Yes. And you're kind of like, I mean, they're young. They don't know any better. Yeah. That's kind of an awkward moment. Or do you ever give them a pair of scissors? Instructions. If you're going to do it. Get the yellow one. Put this card on there. I didn't play dumb. And cut it in an angle. You go like this. I'm just a child. Put this little aspirin in the bottom of the water. Disaster. I don't know, Chad. Any New Year's resolutions? I guess what you guys are thinking about that. So here, let me post a link. I'm going to read more. What are you going to read more? Books. I ordered a book. I do this every December. I order like two or three books. I'm really going to read them this year. Taking more words. I would never resolute to read books. I hate reading. I really hate it. I get bored. Oh, man. I just can't tell you.

My problem is I'm either thinking, oh, I could have written that or, yeah, you're stupid. So how does your Bible reading go? I like the Bible. Well, it's different. It's different. Yeah. I mean, it's like the Bible. It's a living word. Yeah. Have you not read it? Lately. Give us this day our daily bread. Oh, it's been done. It's been done. I'm bored. Take me somewhere else. I've got to look up what book I just ordered. Where's the revelation? So if you're having trouble with New Year's resolutions, you can go to, I'll post a link. It's moninavalerde.com backslash New Year's. What? And it's a New Year's resolution generator. So like. How do you spell that? Yeah. I'll post it so Dan doesn't do that again. You have to break it down into syllables. Monina Valerde. Is that French or something? I didn't ask. I want to max out my physical fitness test this year. What's that? Physical fitness to the max. Just look at me. To the extreme. Every time I get closer, I either break something or get pregnant. Tricky. Maybe you're doing it wrong. Oh, man. That's a wild test.

Sorry. That's a bummer. You're right. That's real trouble. I think I just give up. Are you sure, Steve? This is what we're supposed to be doing. Stay away from that real sly looking elliptical machine. All right. Anyway. This baby's a mover. If you go to moninavalerde.com in New Year's. So here we go, Mike. In 2011, I'm going to use the random New Year's resolution generator. And in 2011, this year, Mike will take a nap. True. That's your resolution. Dan, you want one? You should have gone first. I want the nap. Yours is going to be do yard work. Oh, yeah. 2011, this year, I will share the remote control. I'll be sleeping. You do what you want. Exactly. Call me. Let me know. Here you go. Physical fitness to the max seems problematic. Stacy, I'm going to give you one. Here we go. In 2011, Stacy will friend a person with the same name as me on Facebook. You need to find a Stacy Hartkopf. Does it have to be first and last? Yeah. Oh, come on. Yeah. Got to be done. First only.

Anybody else want one? Oh, you've already done it. Ooh. Okay. Not last name. Stacy, I'm afraid you're going to have to find a last name. Allison, you want one? Here we go. Hold on. Here we go. Allison. In 2011, Allison will create something that betters the lives of others. Oh, my. Hey, you've got a tough one. I dig a pond in your front yard. Everybody loves ponds. How's that better for everybody? People are, they'll go, ooh, a pond. Sorry, Allison, I expect big things this year. Okay, cool. You're on board. Okay, you need to let me know. Send me an email and tell me what you've done. Find Randy. Find Randy. Pick him up. He's roaming the streets. He's got seven bucks. He's got a bunch of friends now. He's the richest man in hobo land. He's sharing. Look what I got. You know what you should do in the new year, Ben? What? Invite cooler guests on the show. Than Dan? Yeah. I don't think you can find them. I can't find anybody cooler than Dan. Dan's not a guest.

He's a standard co-host. Okay. I'm trying to find the book I just ordered. If I can't, I find my… Oh. This year, I will… Okay, this is for me. This year, I will watch a movie in 3D. Bonus. 3D. Do you guys like the 3D? Allison has to change the world. I have to watch a movie. Oh, watch a movie about changing the world. I don't know. No, I haven't… Did it say do or… Yes. Make something. Yeah, you have to make something that betters the lives of others. Stacy, I'm sorry. The 3D goal was mine. I can't do anything about this random generator. I don't know. I haven't seen anything in 3D. We've seen a few. My wife really doesn't like them. It kind of gets her dizzy. And so, we just go to the 2D ones. What have you seen in 3D? Did you see the Avatar? I never saw that in the theater. Oh, we're over two. Wait, wait. So, you've seen some, but you just don't know which one? I can't remember. It's been a while. It's been months since we've seen any 3D ones. Oh, Up was in 3D? We may have seen that one in 3D.

So, just because… What did you think of that? Did you enjoy the 3D experience? Like, did you feel like it was a benefit for having paid for it? Okay, he does. He says, good. Mike, have you seen 3D? I saw it over at Just Vance's house. Oh, yeah. So, I did see… They were broadcasting a football game in 3D. That is pretty neat. Like, you can feel like you can tap the crowd on the shoulder. It might be kind of interesting. Yeah. That's pretty cool. It's weird, though, because I wouldn't want someone to come down and see me watching this with my glasses on. I feel like a total dorkist. But if no one was around, I'd most certainly do it. They should be able to put it in contact lenses. I'm pretty sure they got a screen that goes over that will do it for you. So, you enjoyed it because you had a… Or you enjoyed it because you had a SIG and a Buzz and you really… A lot of peanut M&Ms. I'm never sharing anything. He says that. That's not the truth. Just joking around. Have a little fun at Mike's expense. Don't worry. Sorry, Mike. Oh, shoot. We've been going for a while. Mike, you need to take a break. Oh, come on. You need to take a break. You need to go out, Smokey. Oh, no. My LTG group is now 30 people wide.

I'm here to support you. Way to transform your life. Man. You're listening live from the Path into OneAmplified.com. I don't know. Does anybody else need a New Year's resolution? Mike, what was yours again? I forgot. I told you I ain't doing one. Dan, what did I give you? I'm going to get in the Big Brother Big Sister program. Oh, you had to take a nap. Oh, yeah. I can do that. You should get in the Big Brother Big Sister. I will. Dan, what is the one? You do one. Which one do you do? You do some kind of mentoring. I do a teammate's mentoring. That's kind of a cool thing. Yeah. How does that go for you? It's really fun. You spend about an hour a week, and you go into the school, and it's all monitored by them and everything. And you build a relationship with these guys. Is there an age range for the kids? Well, I had one that graduated last year. I started with him in sixth grade, I think. So for six years, I kept with him. Yeah. And I was really, it was shocking to me, his senior year, he met with me after school. Oh, cool. I mean, my senior year, I was like, yeah, I'm out. 60 bucks a week's on booze. I mean, well. If I remember correctly. Something like that.

It was right after that. Oh, okay. But yeah, the thought that he wanted to stick around showed me that it was really meaningful to him. Yeah. It was kind of cool. Because I used to go, and you just kind of talk, and say, how's it going? And it's not like hard stuff. Yeah. You don't have to go and solve the world's problems. You just kind of just be their friend, and be an adult figure. I mean, you're not like their buddy, because obviously, I'm older than a high schooler. But barely. Barely. I look a lot like it. The kids kind of mistake me sometimes as one of their friends. Who wouldn't in that jacket? Hey, man, that guy's either a crossing guard or a really hip dude that goes to school here. But that's cool. So actually, I kind of like they've been doing advertisements for being a foster parent, where they focus on just being there. Yeah. Those are good commercials. Yeah. Yeah. Where they're like, you know, if you… Man, I can't remember. I'm going to screw it up totally. But they talk about all your shortcomings, you know? Like, if you listen to the TV too loud, if you wear ugly shoes, if you get impatient when the ironing show comes on, a foster parenting may be for you. I think it takes a special person to do the foster parenting, because your ultimate goal is to get them back to their parents. And oftentimes, their parents, there's a reason they were taken out of the home in the first place. Yeah. You know, that'd be tough. I mean, it's needed. It's valuable. But wow, that'd be…

I think it would be tough. You get attached to them kids. Oh, absolutely. And it'd be heartbroken. Well, it'd be hard not to… It'd be hard not to have ill will towards the parents. I don't… It would be. Like, you know, this kid… Especially if the kid… You know, like if you bonded with the kid, and you know, good or bad, you see… I mean, you see something in that kid. You know, all kids got something. You know, you can see God in a lot of kids. Well, sure. Yeah. And then you're like, will you stop this? You know, can you… You can't even think… I mean, even if you put it in context of your own children, think if someone was treating your child that way after you… You know, it'd be devastating. It's like, there's nothing I can do. It would be very hard. But I mean, you're right. It takes a very special person to do that kind of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's cool. Here's the book I have on order. Okay, go ahead. It's been shipped. It's called Viral Churches, Helping Church Planters Become Movement Makers. Ooh. That seems like a late night slash on the toilet. That's the kind of stuff I geek out on. That stuff is pretty cool. Dan's going viral. New Year's resolution number one. Go viral.

I'm going to get viral. Go viral. Speaking of going viral, so we often talk about there's a… What? Here's the deal. I can't pull off a segue if you're all going to laugh at me when I try to swing one in. There's just a lot of places you can go with that. Speaking of going viral. I was Dr. Smooth right there. I was impressed, but yet still. Speaking of going viral. Dan was distracted by his own bologna sandwich. He's got a virus. It's not an issue. It's been in the newsletter a couple times. We kind of talked about it on the show. There's been things that have come up from this blog called StuffChristiansLike.net. If you go to StuffChristiansLike.net, the guy does a really good job. His name is John Acuff, and he does a real good job. He's got kind of a pulse on the Christian culture and kind of poking fun of it to kind of realize where we're taking ourselves too seriously. And he does some serious posts on where we need to be focusing our attention. And I don't know. I think he's just got a really good voice for it. I don't know. Mike, would you agree? I think he does a really good job. I would agree. Okay, good. Yeah, I'm not much of a blog reader, but he's pretty classic. Like, you know, I mean, he's funny when he needs to be funny, and he hits the point home when he needs to hit the point home. Like, he's got a very good balance of not overbearing Jesus, but not, you know, making fun of Christianity to the point where it doesn't seem legitimate. You know what I'm saying? We're following Christ. Because that's basically what it is, you know, he takes, you know, he's usually totally serious when it comes to the Christ following, and comical when it comes to the church atmosphere. You know, just what goes on in churches and when whatever. Oh, churches are hilarious.

Yeah. Well, but churches are still full of people. Like, there's no reason to act like we're not full of people that do weird stuff, and they've got funny things going on. Yeah, like he had a post on there a couple days ago or whatever about, you know, the guy who comes to church in shorts all the time, regardless of the weather. I'm like, I know one of those guys. I've got that guy in my mind right now. Yeah, like, so, and the way he writes, you'd think he'd been to every church in America. Like, no matter what church you go to, he's talking about your church. Yeah. So, he does a very good job. Yeah. So, anyway, he's coming on the show. He's going to call. We're going to have him on the show. It's going to be sometime in January. I don't know what, we're not sure what day that is yet. But I'm really excited about that. So, I would just recommend, I would have recommended whether he's coming on the show or not, because he's just, he's really fun to read. But check out John Acuff on stuffchristianslike.net. It's a pretty good, I like to read in the morning, just kind of before I go to work. A lot of times it's something light. A lot of times it's, you know, something that's a little bit, has a little more depth to it. But just, I don't know, it's a good way. I like it to start the day with it. It's kind of, kind of interesting. I see he has a place to advertise on the left column of his website. Maybe we should put, you know, a life on the path. You got money to give him? I'm loaded. Oh, I have big money. Yeah, I gave all my money to Randy. Ever since I gave up M&Ms. We should take a picture of Randy. All of a sudden it's uncomfortable to sit because my wallet is so fast. I can't drive like this, I got to shop. Let's go to the nail store. Yes, yes.

I've got a large indentation of my right buttocks from my big money in my wallet. Who wants to go to the altar? Hey man, what's the matter with you? I'm wealthy. You know, I can't help it. I never think about taking my wallet out of my pants when I go on a long drive until it's too late. Like I'll be about two hours in into like a three hour drive and I'll be like, man, this is really uncomfortable. And then I'll take my wallet out and go, man, I should have taken that out a long time ago. Why would it be so uncomfortable? Usually that's like the first thing I'll do often if it's going on a big trip. I mean, you'll put the wallet out? Get the wallet out. Because it is, it's loaded. Yeah. It is. It is. Yeah, it's definitely. I told my wife I would use the phrase books. What? I didn't, well I didn't say that but it seems like a good idea as opposed to alternatives. Oh, gotcha. Cheek. I don't know, whatever. But it was the way to go. Olsen, did you want a New Year's resolution? Sorry, I just noticed Olsen was here. Ready? iTunes, $10. Can I have that? You were supposed to give it, you were supposed to give it for Christmas, Dan. I know, it's for Danielle. I told her I had it. Okay. I was going to fill up and then all this personal information, I'm not going to give them that stuff. Can I have it, Dan? Hold on a second. Olsen, 2011, 00 Olsen will sell every unit.

Compose a song. Oh, Olsen, awesome. You're in for it, Olsen. You've got to compose a song. I'm going to say either music or lyrics, whichever, and then Michael fill in the other side. Yeah, whatever's missing, I'll take care of the other half. Yeah. Okay, so. I'm hoping I get the music. You've got a whole year, although I'd like to see it within the next week or so if you can do it. Stop doing that. Thanks, Dan. I'm looking at my billfold. Why? I just invited him to Pathway Church. Hey, you have two services? Look at that. Where are you located? You guys are terrible. Well, just casual. Hey, we can't do a segue if you're going to laugh at it. That's not a good one. Oh, what did I find in my wallet? Oh, Pathway Church. Oh, look at that. I'll be doggone. Shazam, Billy. I never expected that. Oh, did you ask me a question? No, no. So we are all, in case you're in town, we all are from Pathway Church. We meet at Johnson at 9 a.m. and 10.30 a.m. at Wallace Elementary. You can catch either one of the services. And we'd love to have you out there if you're looking for a church family. More important, if you're looking for a relationship with Jesus Christ, we'd invite you to come out. You can also check us out, the church online at thepathonline.org where we post sermons and stuff.

I really meant to get some video last week. I knew the saxophone was coming. Oh, yeah. It was fun. It was fun. It was a good message, Dan. Really? What did you like about it, Mike? How great was that? I mean, the Lord was great, but I mean, I was great. Did you like that segue right into the third point? It was riveting. It was just people being people. I was so proud of myself for working that in. And then I totally forgot the second service. I was juiced up for it. I was waiting for it at the second service. People being people. Christ followers being Christ followers. People being people. Honest faith. Fierce grace. People being people. I used to have a friend that once a week we'd give each other a word that we'd have to work in, like some obscure word, and just work that in a sermon somewhere. Just see if you can. This sounds like an awesome game. Yeah. I think you guys could really get into that. Liposuction. Good fuck. That could be fun. It's like a godly liposuction. It's like when Jesus takes the sin out of your life, it's like taking the fat out of your patox. Through liposuction. Sippy cup. He usually takes all of it, though. He doesn't let you have like one or two a day. He just takes it all.

It's gone. It's all gone completely. And then when you get fat again, he'll take it again. All right, so, Chad, we're taking suggestions on words that Dan needs to sneak into a sermon. Oh, shoot, I'm on deck for next week. I'm out. This is a good time to bring this up. And then we'll see you at church on Sunday to see if he does it or not. It's a cliffhanger. Will he do it? Eschatological. That's too easy. That's like biblical. What does that mean? End times. Study end times. Oh. Olson. Oh, Dave Bush. I'm writing these down. That's classic. I love that guy, whoever it is. It's Richard Nixon. I love Richard Nixon. That couldn't have come from a better guy. Good hearted. He's not a crook, so I've heard. What does it tell you? I am not a crook. No, who's the guy? Goldwater. Oh, Barry Goldwater. Classic. That's how to reel them in for Jesus. Random words into the sermon. Yeah. Did you have to work it in a contextual area, or can you be like, so let's take a reading of Psalms 23, Barry Goldwater. Well, it had to make sense. It couldn't be like, what?

Well, so is it cheating to go, so then Isaiah saw in his vision, and he said, here am I, send me. So if you were a guy, let's say your name was Dave Bush. And you were playing Hungry, Hungry, Hungry. And you had the same thing happen. And so you spilled your sippy cup, but it didn't spill. That's the Lord's protection. Exactly. Galumped? Is that a real word? Olsen, you're a tricky wick. What does that mean? Galumped? Hey, Olsen, get your writing tunes. We got stuff to do. For every word that we have to sneak into a sermon, you have to put that into a song lyric. For your New Year's. I need to bring a pad of paper with me. You're on your own. Hold on. Before Jesus, I was a good love. Yeah, yeah. To move along heavily and clumsily. Actually, that seems like that has appropriate context. I like it. That could be good theme music for a certain guy I know. It's a, oh, it's an invention of Lewis Carroll. Between Gallop and Triumph. Triumphant. Hey, you heard that book that C.S. Lewis' son has written a book? No. I wish I could recall the name of the book. It's like, My Life with C.S. Lewis. He's pretty much stabbing off his old man's good name, but I think that would be a good read. Huh. I don't know what to think about. Is it Comp and Literary? You should order that book.

You got big stuff to read. Put that on my list. Ooh, heresy. Gallop is going to be tough. That's going to be a tough one. It has to be tough. Okay. I mean, if this was like, could you work Jesus in? Nixon's put out like 60 words in a row. Are you allowed to do that, or does it have to be a single one? Well, it was Mind Freak Supernova of Adrenaline. There's no hyphenated words. But the Holy Spirit hits you. It's like a Mind Freak Supernova of Adrenaline. I can't even talk. This church has gone viral. Bring him in. I want 900 people here next week. Don't act like a galump. We're all going to be mopping floors. We're going to need 900 mops. Actually, that would be cool as a sound effect. If all of a sudden, like you were to say, like people, like when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and then someone goes, Mind Freak Supernova of Adrenaline. That like rumbles like the THX thing at the beginning of a movie, and then you go on as if it didn't happen. Then when things are kind of going slow, it goes, glump. Glump. Just checking to see if you guys are interested. Anyway, did you just glump? Back to Jesus. Back to Jesus. Come on. Yeah, we need to be one of those churches that has like the drummer and the piano organ thing playing when I'm preaching. That'd be kind of fun. We should do that some week.

Yeah. We'll be good. Not a big timpani. I think he's talking about one of those like southern soul churches where like Dan says something, and you go, Are you with me? And Jesus said, Wah, wah, wah. You know. That was more like a Scooby-Doo. That sounded like Jukebox Hero. Hey, my kid loves Ju- I don't know what happened. This kid, she's four years old, and she loves like early 80s rock, like foreigner. They've not made anything since then. Well, but I'm like going through the channels, and I don't understand this. Like, listen, I don't often listen to the bass radio. I usually listen to a lot of talk radio, but like I'll be scanning for stuff when they're on a commercial, and like Jukebox Hero or Hot Blood or something comes on, and I try to change. She's like, No, go back. And I thought it was just like a joke or whatever, but it's consistent. Every time she gets some kind of like early 80s band on there, she digs it. She doesn't want it to change. She wants to love it. Well, that's cool. I don't know about that. She's got a wide breath. My daughter loves- Have you heard of the band New World Son? It's a Christian band.

Anyway, they sing a song. They do our opening song. Yeah. Working Man. Working Man is by New World Son. That's on my playlist. Little Richard. Anyway, so they sing a song called Babylonie's Gonna Fall, and it's, you know, the fall of Babylon, whatever. It's a good song. You need to put it on our playlist. Yeah, it's on there. And so anyway, she thinks the words are bad baloney, and so she sings it all the time. Like she'd be rocking around to it. She'd go, Bad baloney's gonna fall. I'm like, I wouldn't eat bad baloney either. It's very cute. That's awesome. It's very endearing. You know what? I should tell you the conversation we had over Christmas. We were walking. Go ahead. That was my segue. So we were walking back from a Christmas party or whatever, and it was just me and her, and we were talking, and it was New Year's. It was Christmas Eve, and we were talking about, you know, but he will, and he's like, well, how's he gonna get here? I said, well, he just, he kind of just shows up, you know, that's just kind of his deal.

She goes, well, can we just go see him? I said, well, it's not time yet. I said, when we're done living here, well, you know, we'll go live there. I said, but it'll be a little while yet. She goes, well, are you gonna drive? And I said, well, I didn't plan on it. And she goes, well, you're gonna have to drive because Jesus is just a baby. I said, oh, well, that's a solid point. So I guess, I guess we'll stick with that then. I thought, well, at least she grasps the concept. You know, at least she understands Jesus is a baby. She doesn't quite get it that he grows back and comes back kingly world. But that's all, it'll come. It'll come, it'll come. She's just a little tyke. Yeah, exactly. She knows what she needs to know right now. And then she told me that we should go play at God's house because he's probably got cool toys. I said,

well, okay. Well, when it's time, I guess we'll go. I'm sure he does have cool toys. You have to play for her the audio adrenaline's… Supernova? Oh, no, I'm sorry. Big, big house. Mind freak supernova. Mind freak supernova. You love Jesus. Keep that in mind. Yeah, it was fun. It was fun. Christmas. Yeah. I dig it. So did you hear that Hugh Hefner is getting married? No, I did not. He's like 84 or something and she's like 22. Well, it's just a mistake. Yeah. He's really going to settle down. Pretty sure. He's had wild times coming to an end. How is he going to celebrate his bachelorhood? A bunch of naked ladies? Or, you know… I don't know. I mean, really, it's been pretty much his whole life. There's a guy just, man, your heart just goes, he's like, dude,

one of these days that heart's going to stop and you're going to see the creator that you have mocked your whole life. And you know that whole whoever causes one of these children to stumble and you'll be like, you know, have a milestone, millstone thrown around your neck and thrown in the water. He's just like, dude, how many millstones you can have? I mean, I don't have to judgmental. I'm just saying. No, but it's sad to see someone that so doesn't even get it, doesn't even come close. You have no idea what you missed. You know, your whole life you don't know what you missed. Oh, yeah. And to be that thoroughly involved with the downfall of our society.

I mean… That's pretty pervasive, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, it used to be, you know, he'd have a little magazine that every once in a while you'd accidentally see or something, but now you can't even Google anything, you know, I love Jesus, you know what I mean, whatever. And if you don't have filters on… Right, yeah. It's pretty tough. That goes back to this dude, you know. Yeah. Speaking of downfall of society, prepare yourself. I warned you. I said it was coming. We're back. I love that guy. With non-biblical signs of the apocalypse to re-acclimate yourself to this portion of the program. Revelation does lay out a lot of things to bring about the end of the world.

The following are not on the list, but, you know, it could very well be. There were some times where John decided not to write some, or was told not to write some things down. So these are not part of the eschatological plan. Exactly. Exactly. Gotcha. But the question is, you know, could this be a symbol of the downfall of the world? Could there be a sign of the end times? Yeah, could it be? And so, Chad, your job is to say, I will give you the story, and then you have to give me a yes sign of the, it's the end of the end times, or we've got some more time. End of the world, we've got some more time. Here we go. All right, I'm ready. This is in Manteca, California. The Cabral Chrysler dealership in Manteca, California was so desperate for a sale in October that one of its employees picked up a potential customer, Donald Davis, 67,

at his nursing home, brought the pajamas and slippers-clad, dementia-suffering resident into signed papers, handed in the keys to his new pickup truck with the requested chrome wheels, and sent him on his way, even tossing his wheelchair into the truck's bed as he sped away. Shortly afterward, Davis led police on a high-speed chase 50 miles from Manteca, was stopped and detained, and the salesman said Davis had called him twice the day before insisting on buying a new truck. He passed away the following day from heart failure. Oh, man. A dementia man calls your dealership to buy a vehicle from you multiple times. You go pick him up. He's in the hospital. He obviously either has, I think he has no money. Real, you know, he may have credit, I guess. But anyway, you go pick up this guy, sell him a brand new truck, he goes on a 50-mile chase with the police, dies the next day in the nursing home. That's some shady dealing.

That's shady. That is some shady dealing. Is there any way that they didn't know he had dementia? Any way possible? No, I read a different story on it, and they were well aware. They bought multiple vehicles from this place, him and the wife, before they put him into the home. So his long-term memory is good. His short-term memory is good, probably. And so he thought, well, of course, this is where I go to get vehicles. Yeah. It seemed natural to him. He didn't feel like he was being, you know, schnookered. Right. But wow. And you could have a conversation with someone with dementia and not have a clue. Although the fact that you had to pick him up. Yeah. Yeah. From the nursing home. Yeah. Maybe that was his plan all along. Maybe he had a lucid moment.

He's like, you know what? I'm out of here with a bang. I know heart failure's coming. Give me the truck. Yeah. I'm saying it's the side of the end times. It's on its way. That's pretty terrible. That's some shady behavior. That's just, yeah, that's shady. I mean, it's ultra sad because the guy happened to pass away the next day, which makes it worse. But I mean, that's some shady behavior. Here we go. Colorado Springs. A Colorado Springs man who tried to clean his natural gas fireplace while it was still lit nearly roasted himself over an open fire. He was hospitalized with second degree burns. Here we go. Colorado Springs fire authorities say the unnamed man received facial burns Thursday night after using an aerosol cleaner on the lit fireplace. Fire Lieutenant Tom Ruane tells the Gazette

that the aerosol cleaner produced a big fireball. Three other people inside the house weren't injured. So you see this fireplace and you think, it's dirty. You take an aerosol can and spray into it. That's this guy right here. We got more time. There will be idiots always. Yeah, he's just stupid. I mean, this is not intentional slicksterism. He's just a doofus. He's a born doofus. Yeah, like when I was eight, I used to take aerosol cans outside of hairspray and burn spiders, you know, with a big flamethrower thing. I mean, that was stupid. As an eight-year-old, that's a responsible use of aerosol cans and spiders. Seeing a roaring fireplace and taking a can of aerosol spray to it I wonder what it was that he was using to clean it because I'm pretty certain they don't sell fireplace cleaner in an aerosol can. Sounds like something Mike would do. Your buddy, Richard Nixon. You gotta be kidding me, Nixon.

I was your Barry Goldwater. Okay. All right. So they say there's more time. Not bad on that guy. All right. Yeah, I think we got more time. He's an isolated incident. Okay. All right. Here we go. This is from… What'd they give the shady car man? It was sad, but I don't think it was a sign of the end time. Oh. I said it not today. What did we say? Oh, Nixon says it is a sign. Okay. Okay, solid. Okay. Okay, throwing it in the fire is different because you're throwing it back and away. That's tomfoolery. I don't know who's trying to clean a fireplace why it's lit. I would throw it like in an outside incinerary camp. I wouldn't throw it in my home. Would you spray at it? I wouldn't. Well, with three other people

in the house, I mean, you know, if your family's on vacation or whatever and you want to play chicken with this fire or whatever, I think it's probably a go. But with other people in the house, that's a mistake. Yeah. Yeah. He was close enough. He was thinking he was really going to clean something. Maybe it could have been, you know, I don't know. You know, if he's the head of the household, maybe he's dragging his whole family down these poor choice paths. Maybe it is the side of the time. The side of the time. Because he's taking the world with him. He needs to go. Maybe he tried to throw it in there because he thought it would make a loud noise and go, mine freaks supernova to the ground.

Okay. Moving on to Hong Kong. Slated to begin sometime in January, the upcoming McWeddings will first appear for a test period at three major McDonald's branches. McDonald's slated to offer ultra cheap McWeddings in Hong Kong. They'll be offered in packages starting at HK1,000. Hong Kong? 1,000? At $129. Oh. Which is a major savings from a typical $1,300 price of a Hong Kong wedding. Included with the reservation is a personalized menu, decorations, McDonald's themed gifts, a special apple pie wedding cake, and a lone fry in place of the traditional charity a couple share prior to kissing. Huh. McWeddings? Okay, hold on.

Go through the perk list again. Hold on. I want to hear these one more. Included with the reservation is a personalized menu. Okay, this is classic. Decorations. They don't tell you what the decorations would be in Hong Kong. I'm pretty sure they'd be McDonald's decorations. McDonald's themed gifts. Okay, this is killer. There's the kicker for me. What is that? What are they going to give you? A grissom? It's a grimace. Oh, sorry. Yeah. That's the mayor. Not a grissom. Mayor dude come up and do the hamburger? No, the mayor. Yeah, he's a… Wasn't he a big burger mayor guy? Yeah, it was the big burger head. He was the mayor. Mayor McBurger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just put the two words together. I'm not certain

that's the name. I don't know if that's her own name. Mayor McBurger. It could be, but I'm not certain of him and grissom. So, I guess, did you ever say Mike would totally love the hamburglar at the wedding? Hey, what is the deal? Okay. Now, what confuses me on this is, I mean, of course, they've probably built more since then. I've actually eaten at McDonald's in Hong Kong before. Yeah. Okay, there's not a lot of space. I mean, you know, there's 6 million people in this little… I mean, it's not like, you know, huge spacious McDonald's or anything. So, they must… That's kind of interesting. Is this a video of it? Hold on. Oh, what's gone? Oh, take it down for terms of service. Bummer. Anyway, what does that mean?

You know what I don't understand? McDonald's is… I don't know how they keep coming up with more ways to make money. But, like, the problem is they all work. Like, I don't think of the last thing that McDonald's put out that failed. Uh… Nope. No idea. The southern chicken came out. It's a-rockin'. Yeah. Hey, but speaking of McDonald's in Asia, so here we go. Here's some menu items from the Asian McDonald's. Number one, green tea and red bean ice cream sundae. That's it. Breakfast bacon lettuce egg McWrap. Ooh, that looks good. You can go to weirdasiannews.com if you'd like to check this out. Careful with those… The Asian News websites don't have the same journalistic standards as, say, your American website. They're more of, like, the British website

type of thing. So just be careful where you're poking around here. The Soda. The Samurai Pork Burger. What makes it Samurai? Wait, features pork instead of a beef patty. A similar product, the Shogun Burger, is on menus in China. How do you Samurai things? I don't know. Hey, so I had an idea as I wanted to be an independent kosherizer, but apparently that's not how it works. Like, I thought I could go to random businesses and say, look, you want kosher stuff? Let's get a kosherizer in here. But apparently it has to go… What do you mean kosherizer? Like a notary? Yeah, yeah. A notary, but kosher things. That's stupid. I'm just the guy that owns the business. I'd get legitimate Jewish priests to be the kosherizer. I'm not going to claim to be a kosherizer. I'm just going to run the kosherizer business. All right,

I'm going to finish out with these interesting menu items and then you're out. Number four, seaweed seasoned fries. Seasoned with seaweed and salt and you apply the seasoning yourself. Oh, they give it to you. The McRice. Kosherize. Popular in Singapore, the McRice is served between two fried rice patties. Grump. Grump. I think it's glump. Or glump, yeah. I don't know. This thing's really got legs. I'm telling you. Number seven, the McSpaghetti. Sounds awful. McSpaghetti. McHot Dog Mega Sausage. What do you think about that? It's only on the breakfast menu. Pies. Breakfast varieties include ham and egg, bacon and potato. Ooh, those sound good. Dessert pies run the gamut from banana to taro to pineapple. Breakfast pasta soup with egg and sausage. Double Beef Prosperity Burger.

That sounds happy. That's offered in Malaysia. This part burger, part French dip sandwich. Each patty is dipped in spicy pepper sauce and topped with onions. That sounds all right. Prosperity Burger. And number 12, the Filet-O-Shrimp. Kosherize. It's served with secret sauce. It's Thousand Island dressing. Okay, that's it. Interesting menu items. I say it's a sign of the end times. Double Free Bruns. Winnings at McDonald's. Double Free Bruns. Where'd that thing go? That was pleasant. Let's see here. Oh, wow. Let's see if I can find the video for this guy. So, here we go. Second coming jewelry sale commercial. Superior Jewelers says the end is near, so prices are low. Okay. All right. Hold on. I don't need your money. I love this. I swear I had to. Hold on. Let me, you guys talk amongst yourself.

I swear I had this video somewhere. Kosherize. Good lump. Yeah. We got this, Dan. We don't need them. We don't need them. We have a story. Yeah, go about your business. You'll have to have a little, you know, synthesizer walking around with you. Kosherize. Kosherize. Kosherize. Sunglasses. Kosherizes. I'm here to kosher or something. What does it mean, actually? What's kosher? Isn't it? It's blessed food, right? But there's something else to it. It's got a rabbi involved, and it's all like scriptural stuff. There's something else to it besides just having the dude bless it. I don't remember. It can't be unclean food, right? Well, no, because the Hebrew hot dogs are, no, that's beef. Yeah, it had to be beef. It wouldn't be pork, that's for sure. Yeah, I can't really say. I can't either. Kosherize. Anyway, if you'd like to have something kosherized,

please call Mike Foost. I'm in business. Come on, man. I just saw this one the other day. Keep talking. Let's talk about my new glass. Yeah, did you see Dan's new drink bottle that says, Caution Extreme Awesomeness? It's from my family, so it's got to be true. Of course it does. Maybe they just wanted to distract you so they could steal your M&M's. Look, he's reading his awesome label. Okay, girls, your father has a problem, so get him a shiny piece of paper and then we'll get him. We'll get him. Oh, yeah. Man, it's totally gone. Anyway, all right, so I'll just read it to you. So Larry Falter, owner of Superior's Limited Jewelers, hit up a novel idea for his latest TV commercial, blending a store-wide sale with his belief that the second coming of Jesus is near. Oh, wow. So here, okay, see, I found it. It's not a very good version of it. But here you go. So here's this commercial. It's the day of the Lord, the return of Jesus Christ to Jerusalem.

As I read the daily news and look around the world, I believe we're really close to that. Nonetheless, here and now, if you want jewelry, I have access to millions. Diamonds and gemstones, gold and silver, watches and clocks, and I'm selling everything at 50% off, giving you unbelievable savings. LTD Jewelers, Tower Avenue, Superior. Okay, that's it. Was that played like on the 700 Club or something? No, no, no. He's a legitimate businessman. I mean, who's your audience? Wait. All right, so here's the rest of the story. After opening with the trumpeting of horns and a glimpse of fire and lightning, the 30-second ad shows Falter in his store, stating his belief that as he reads the news, we are really close to the day of the Lord and return of Jesus Christ to Jerusalem. Nonetheless, here and now, if you want jewelry, I have access to millions. I thought, I'm going to have some fun here, be bold about my faith position, and make a commercial that would tell people how I believe things are in the world. I'm trying to be up front with my faith and my position.

If anybody wants to see my jewelry or talk about the Lord's coming, I'm here. The first thing, so here's legitimate questions from the guy writing the story. The first thing that crossed my mind was the line, like, if you thought the end of the world was near, why would you be buying jewelry? Exactly. And why would you be selling it? Yeah. What if you're saying, hey, the end is near, by the way, you need Jesus. Yeah, forget the jewelry. Let's talk. Yeah. I kind of like the answer to that question, though. Let's say I do electric work for a living. I'd like to say, look, you want to talk about electric work or the Lord? I'm here. That's a pretty awesome statement. Yeah. Get rid of all the other crap that he's done. At least you can say, look, you want to talk about what I do for a living or Jesus Christ? Give me a call. We can do either one.

That's a bold statement. Well, why do we always try to bring up the creepy stuff, though? I mean, to us, it's not creepy because we get it. Yeah. Okay, he's coming back, yada, yada. But if you don't believe in Jesus in the first place and we're talking about, you know, end times and blah, blah, blah. it's like, that's not going to get me going. Yeah. I can't believe that would drive him business either. Yeah. Maybe it worked. I don't know. I suppose all the believers are like, oh, I'm going to give this guy my money. You think he bought decorations for the store and everything? What does it look like? Flames on one side? Yeah, he's got a big thing up front. It's his 50% off

second coming sale. It's a big picture right in the front of his jewelry store. Man, he looks pretty happy about it. Does it say, Turner Burn, buy my jewelry? It does not say that, and his final quote was, so if you ask him why he doesn't just give the jewelry away, his response is, I have ethical obligations to people I owe money to. If I couldn't discharge those ethical responsibilities, I wouldn't be giving a very good witness. I don't want to profit at someone else's expense. So there you go. But buy my jewelry. Well, that all makes perfect sense in his mind, I tell you. If you follow his logic, I don't know. He sounds pretty solid. So, Chad's taking storing up treasures on earth. Isn't he supposed to do the opposite? And selling all his stuff to get money to pay for ads

to tell people to get saved. Maybe he's selling jewels for their crown. Well, so he suppose, well, frankly, let's say he's selling to make money so that he can put out ads to help save people. Why is he going 50% off? Yeah. He needs big money. You can make legitimate money. You know, just selling the jewelry at regular prices, just having fair prices, right? Sure. I don't know. Fair prices have got to be better than everyone else's eye-gouging prices. I don't know. More time? Or the end is near? Well, see, I can't say the end is near just because he said it. No, I don't want to be on board with the guy. That's true. He's hosed it. You don't have any choice. The end is near,

though. I think it's pretty close. I think once we, you know, lose the feeling that it could be close, we get lazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So here, actually, this is a familiar incident. This reminds me of our Harvey Westmoreland, who was the guy that ate his own beard after the incident over the tractor. The lawnmower. The lawnmower. Here we go. This is in Akron, Ohio. Police in Ohio say a man allegedly beat his brother with a crowbar during a dispute about a piece of fried chicken with a bite taken out of it. The alleged victim, Thomas Morris, 41, of Akron, told him, that's 41 years old, told investigators that the incident began Sunday afternoon when his 37-year-old brother, Tony, threw a piece of chicken at him at their mother's home while they were both visiting. Thomas Morris said his brother accused him of taking a bite out of the chicken piece and placing it back in the frying pan. He told investigators he suggested they take the dispute outside

and his brother would attack him with a crowbar, inflicting a three-inch laceration on his forehead and other wounds. All right, stop right there. So, the accusation is, is the guy who was frying chicken took a piece of hot fried chicken out of the pan. Not fully cooked, mind you. Yeah. He ate it, took a bite out of it, and put it back. The guy says, let's take this outside. And instead of taking it outside, he grabs a crowbar. Who's got a crowbar at the ready in the middle of their place? But he's got one at the ready. So they go out and he lacerated, three-inch laceration on his face. They did go outside, though. No. That's where he got the crowbar. No, he suggested they take the dispute outside and his brother then attacked him with a crowbar. After they got outside. No, I think he got him inside with a crowbar. No, I don't think so. Yeah. So here we go. The elder brother who was treated

at a local hospital. I like it. He runs the stories. He just runs me over. I've decided. Said Tony Morris fled after he got away and retrieved a shovel from a neighbor's house. So he took a crowbar to the face. The crowbar guy goes and gets a shovel. So here's the best part. Ready? Police said they were called to the home by the mother who admitted chopping on a piece of chicken in question. There's an awkward Christmas. An arrest warrant was issued Sunday for Tony Morris on suspicion of felonious assault, domestic violence, and menacing. Boy. I think it's funny that they agreed to take it outside. That's where they went. Yeah. Someone takes it by the chicken and go outside. And they say, they battled with shovel and crowbar indoors. No, they didn't. They say,

hey, we should take this outside. Yeah, we should take this outside. And then they go, I can't believe the man stumped off after a three-inch installation to go get a shovel. I like these borrowing from the neighbor. Like there's nothing around for you to hit him back with. You want to borrow a shovel from the neighbor? I think he's from a shovel. I mean, this guy's got a crowbar. I'm not sure I would take shovel over a crowbar. I don't know. Shovel's got longer. Well, but. Depends on the shovel. Yeah. That's an old school farmer's man's shovel. I don't know. A guy seems to know what to do with a crowbar, though. I mean, if you're handy with a crowbar. It could be one of them cheap plastic snow shovels. It could be a cheap plastic crowbar. It's not. They have a picture of it in the news. Do they? It's metal. I can't see it. It's of solid material.

Anyway. End is near. End is near. That's the end. Oh, that's bad. That's, yeah. Oh, I thought I had. There was another food incident. So did you guys fight like that as kids? That was the chat suggestion. No. No, we did not. I don't remember getting that type of battle. I've never gotten that kind of fights with my brothers. No. No. I barely ever eat uncooked, hotly fried chicken. I was just like once in a great while I'll have a hankering and I'll go over to someone's house and take a bite out of it and leave. I mean, that chicken is frying. This mom picked it up and took a chomp out of it and then put it back meaning that it obviously was not done. I'm thinking of the fried chicken.

There's only one way to do it, right? Like hot grease. Yeah. And then stick her in. I'm thinking so. How did I get it out? Tongs? I suppose. That's what I would use. I would not take a bite of it. I wouldn't mean that. Uncooked chicken. I cook enough uncooked chicken for everyone to handle. Here we go. And actually, I almost included the first part of this story a month ago and I wish I had because this is an excellent follow-up. Wait. Wait. That's not the right one. Oh. We're waiting with bated breath. Sorry. Hey. Yeah, here we go. Oh. Yes. So, a family holding an Idaho lottery ticket worth $8 million wasn't taking any chances

while traveling from their home in Brigham City, Utah to claim their lottery winnings in Boise. Sisters Cindy Flint and Carol Olvin along with their mother Donna Flint made the nearly 300-mile trip to Idaho with their ticket locked in a fireproof safe. But when they got to the lottery office they realized the safe had fallen through the back floor of their rusty old 1982 Datsun. Oh, no. So, Cindy Flint says we were pretty broke. None of us have worked in more than two years. We took our last $74 and bought a fireproof safe from the local Walmart and loaded it in the back seat with the lottery ticket locked inside. $8 million lottery ticket. When they got to the lottery office on Monday they were shocked to see the safe gone and a huge gaping hole in the rear floor of the car.

I can't even imagine. Man. Let's see. When they got to the lottery office on Monday let's say that we just hugged each other and cried for almost an hour. Lottery spokesman David Workman says other winners have taken precautions but the Flint family may be the first to have lost out on their multi-million dollar prize because of over-protecting it. Apparently there was a car mat covering the substantial hole and they had no idea. So they didn't try to go back and find it or nothing? I think they did but they didn't find it. I mean it seems like you could find a safe in the middle of the road and like if it was a hole it's a hole it's probably some nefarious dude would definitely pick up a safe and take it home. But he probably can't get into it right?

Or you could drill it out or whatever. So the women bought their ticket at a store in Franklin, Idaho near the state border with Utah but apparently the ticket is unsigned so whomever finds this treasure and gets the safe open will have full claim to the eight million dollar grand prize. Boy that's a roast isn't it? Man. Would you pick up a safe you saw on the road? I don't know. I don't think so. Not even good Samaritan wise? Like man somebody's dropped their safe. Somebody wants this. I might put it stop and put it on the side of the road or something but Well I don't know if I saw a safe I think I'd probably have to grab it. I think I'd need it. And then I'd break into it and find out how to get it back to the guy

that owns it. I would certainly not claim the eight million dollars like I could definitely not do that. But I think I would grab the safe open it and then find out a way to get it back to him. The contents has got to be more important to him than the safe. Yeah. I think I would bust it open and find out. I don't know is that frown on? Is that poor choices? Yes. Daniel? To do what? Yes. I got distracted. Stealing a safe that you found in the middle of everywhere is it? It's not stealing it's just laying around in the middle of the road I don't know the back story of it. I just see it I'm like well I would think that someone dropped it

or it fell out or they threw it could be drugs in it I'd probably take it to the police. I don't know what I'd do. I think they'd take it. I would just think about it long enough to drive past it and then forget it saying well I guess I should have picked up that safe or eh well Well I really should have done that. You know I think I'm going to put my wallet back in my pocket for this long drive. I don't trust these. Here's the deal though if I had a winning lottery ticket I wouldn't buy a safe and put it in a safe I would put it in my billfold because it's not like everyone's driving around the road going oh they got the winning lottery ticket. Yeah right. That guy in the that guy in the

97 Durango he's definitely I'm pretty sure I'd hide it in my fundies somewhere where I know it's not going anywhere. In my fundies? Yeah. Oh I wouldn't do that next to that right buttocks we were talking about. I would probably put it in my billfold and then put it in the front pocket to make sure it didn't actually fall out not that it ever falls out. You put on your good jeans without the whole pocket. I'm going to turn in my locket where's my good clothes? So what's in is near or we've got more time that's just unfortunate. We've got more time on that one. More time. I would pick up

the safe. I'd say they don't have much time left. It shows why they haven't worked for two years. They're just not that smart. We never worked for two years. I'm pretty sure that if I dropped eight million dollars at the back of my rust bucket I would not stand around for an hour hugging and crying. I'd be so mad. I don't know. I probably would have shanghaied the guy at the lottery office and ran. I would have put a big ad in the paper reward. Yeah. Two million bucks or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I got the key. Yeah. Yeah. Of course if it's a

Walmart safe you could probably break into it. I hate to say it but shoot my safe's from Walmart. A $74 safe is not really top notch. It's not robust. It's not carbonite. All right. It's kind of like the bicycle padlock you can kind of feel and you open up you know the little tube ones. What's the matter with you Dan? I've heard the stories. You mean to get a stethoscope out? I want this thing. All right. So here we go. Oops. I gave my nose a pick. I just don't understand. What's that? He's picking his nose. All right. Whitefish Bay Wisconsin. Wisconsin postal carrier says he simply wanted to cheer up a woman on

his rounds who seemed stressed out when he decided to deliver mail in the ball. But upon further review the worker told police that delivering mail while completely naked probably wasn't a good idea. A police report says that the 52 year old man told the woman he would deliver the mail in the nude to her office in Whitefish Bay to make her laugh. The report says that on December 4th he brought the mail wearing only a smile. The mail carrier was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior several days later and the Milwaukee Journal says the man admitted delivering the mail naked was a stupid thing to do. Oh, whatever seems all right. Is that pornography, Dan? Yeah. Any nudity is

pornography to Dan. Or otherwise. I don't know. Dude nudity is funny. Later nudity I have to avoid but dude nudity is funny. 50 year old any nudity is kind of like. But that's what's funny about it. Funny. There's nothing alluring about it. A half naked old man. A totally naked old man. Oh, I see you're Jewish. Is your mother large? Is your mother large? I don't know. Old man naked. That's funny. Okay. The end is not near. In fact, you're happy for this man. I don't know. It sounds like he did warn her. And it does seem like at least passively she agreed to it.

I mean. Well, because you don't think it's going to happen. Is she the one that turned to men? Because that'd be pretty low. Oh, you know your mail will never get to you from now on. You turn the man in. Oh, yeah. I don't know. That's just kind of creepy. There's also a lot of puns along with it. Like, here's your package. It's things of his nature. I think I'm very difficult. You're introducing crudity. That's true. Besides the fact that you're just buck naked. Oh, man. All right. I'm saying the end is not near. And I kind of like that guy. Yeah. We got more time

on naked, man. Okay. He's all right. All right. And the… Okay. So did anybody read… So it was Jar Jar Gabor's husband, who's a prince, by the way. So Jar Jar Gabor's husband holds the title of prince, but he may look more like a movie pirate for the next two weeks as he wears a patch over his eye. The patch protects an eye that Prince Frederick Von Enholt accidentally glued shut Tuesday morning. It was dark and he grabbed his wife's nail glue instead of eye drops. His quote, it was stupid. Let's see. When Van Ault returned to his Bel Air, California home later Tuesday morning, he moved his wife's nail glue

from the couple's bathroom. She doesn't use it anymore. This is kind of a trumped up story. I mean, it's funny that he kind of glued his eye shut with nail polish, but his interview is really lame. He's like, it was dark and I grabbed the nail glue. It was stupid that I did it. I moved it because she doesn't use it anymore. That's kind of the extent of his… What else is he going to say about it? I don't know. I'm just saying this is a whole page worth of article that they put in here. It seems completely unnecessary. Huh. You know, I was watching the nightly news tonight and they did the people that have died this year.

They're mostly movie stars and like singers, you know? Yeah. Which I get why they're doing it, you know, because people that everybody would probably know and I'm like, man, are these the people that are getting all the attention? You know, there's got to be some good-hearted dudes that passed away this year that I have no idea. Yeah, really? That's kind of sad. Someone said we should do that at Pathway at the end of the year. Do a little… It's like, I don't know. It just seems kind of… I mean, we don't have that many people other than the last two years we've had people pass away, but that's the first time and… Yeah. Well, I guess my

mom was three years ago. I don't know. I suppose if you could do it in a celebratory manner. How do you do that? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, look at this. Okay, and now let's go to, you know… I mean, here's a solemn remember. Yeah, it really seems like after someone dies, you know, if you could put yourself in the frame of mind, well, okay, God's got them now, you know? Like, it rocked. They were here. It was cool. And then, whatever. They're out and about. They got other stuff going, you know? I don't know what else you'd do. A remembrance video, I don't know, it'd probably be down in my

highest life. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know about that. Do I think this is a sign? Then we could have like a little voting things in the church. You think they went to heaven or hell, you know? Oh, yeah, this is going to go over. There's a graph. Oh, no. Oh, no. Sorry, Timmy. Sorry, man. I said on the button. Chat suggestion on Saturday in times. U.S. Muslims, a new consumer niche or niche in the ballroom. From an upscale hotel, a short train ride from New York, advertisers, food industry executives, and market researchers mingled. The men in dark suits, the women in headscarves and

western dress. Chocolates made according to the Islamic dietary laws were placed at each table. We're not saying support us, but we want them to understand what our values are. I don't understand. What was the story? So the target, the consumer niche of targeting U.S. Muslims. How many are them? They're grown by leaps and bounds. Are they? They're everywhere. Huh? Walmart has entered the Hallel Arena. I didn't know that. What is the Hallel? That's meat, right? That's a type of isn't that the Hallel meat? Little costume they wear? No. Hallel.

Hold on, I can tell you. A term designated any object or an action which is permissible to use or engage in according to yeah, it means lawful or permitted. So permitted meat. Oh. Well, it's all permitted, isn't it? No? No. Huh, interesting. So would that be kind of mean if you're a food server and you're serving Muslims and you don't tell them you put pork in something? Yeah. And then you spring it on later? You still have to tell them. Oh. By the way, you're all going to hell. You're building bridges, Dan. For what? What are you

gaining, you spiteful jerk? Show them how stupid it is. Maybe one of them is actually allergic to meat and everything like that. No, I mean, granted, they could come back with the same example, the Old Testament dietary laws. Yeah. We don't follow them. Yeah. Do it to me. That's fine. Go ahead. Give me some bacon. I'll take it. Rounding us out. Perth, Scotland, December 23rd. A Scottish court ordered community service for a man. Actually, I think this one's just funny. Convicted of deliberately flooding the

house of his neighbor. A sentence the woman called a joke. So, George, McGorty damaged Shirley Elliott's home so much she had to move out with her partner and her son while it was repaired. The Scotsman reported it cost about $75,000 to repair the damage. Here's what he did. He drilled a hole. So, the feud between Elliott McGorty and an electrician began when she hired him to wire an addition to her house in Bridge of Urn. As the feud

escalated, McGorty drilled a hole into a wall and then stuck a hose to it, connected to a tap, and let it run. Drilled the hole, hose and turns it on. So, here's his sentence. Ordered to perform 260 hours of community service and to pay $1,500. $75,000 worth of damage for a hose in your house, 260 hours community service and $1,500. The woman is, it's a joke. She says, it's shocking. He should

have been sent to jail for what he did. Everyone we've spoken to thought he should be jailed for it. Yeah. I don't know, that seems pretty malicious. That's pretty terrible. Yeah. I mean, hose in the house, that's pretty bad. Yeah, he's doing some damage on purpose. It wasn't like, oh, sorry, whoops. Yeah, I would agree. I think it's bad. Alright, you've just survived another round of non-biblical signs of the apocalypse. So, you've been listening live from the

path on Des Moines Amplified. So, what did we decide ultimately? Are we getting close? You know, most of these stories do end up, I sound like the end is near. Yeah, it's a lot of stupid people that kind of add up to at some point, and God's going, really? Really? You know, I'm going to have to take care of this. Kind of like the days of the ark, you know? It's just like, yeah, I think I'm done with you people. Yeah, you know. Actually, that's one of the things that tends to stick out with me when you read through

Jesus' account. When he's like, this unbelieving generation, how long must I, you know, I kind of like that thought. It's like, that's probably fairly prevalent for most of the society. Yeah, you know, how long do I stick out with this deal? Wouldn't that be hard to be God walking around knowing what's in everybody's heart, everybody's mind, and thinking, you guys are just really stupid. Yeah. Of course, that's why he knew, that's why he was there. Well, that makes some of the stuff that he says even more amazing when he's complimentary, like,

I have never seen such with what's great faith. You know, I mean, that's an amazing compliment coming from the Lord. Yeah. You know, because he saw religious people going, yeah, you don't really get it, you know, and I mean, some did, but. Right, well, and look when he saw the widow putting in everything she had, you know, and everybody was in there, you know, and like, he's the only one that knew that was everything she had, you know. That's a huge gift right there. And she didn't say, hey, God, look, I'm dropping it in, she just kind of dropped it in and walked away, you know, and to be, you know, to be the Lord and watching that, you know, it just has

to be amazing to me to know the background story of stuff that's going on with people that, I don't know, that was just amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Makes wild stuff. See, that's why I'm not God, because I be spiting people all the time, you know, just like that time he gets the, the, was it a mustard tree? I can't remember. Yeah, the fig tree. Fig tree, there we go. Yeah, we're roasting him. He goes, you'll never bear fruit again. I've been doing that a long old place. I know what you're thinking. Puff of smoke. 7-Eleven's not open. You'll never do business again. That's right. Yeah, that's, that's why I'm, it's a good

thing I'm not God, because, yeah, I'd be in trouble. We'd all be in trouble. Yeah. Yeah. God's word today, everyone will wear mustard yellow shirts. Yes. Everyone will bring M&Ms to the offering table. It's already written. You've been listening to Live from the Path on Des Moines Amplified dot com. Thanks so much for hanging out with us tonight. So, again, you can catch us during the week at Live from the Path dot org. I would encourage you to sign up for the newsletter. I'd love to be able to reach out to you that way. You can send us an email at info at Live from the Path dot org. Frankly, you can put

anything at Live from the Path dot org and I'll get it. So, whatever you think is funny, you want to throw it in there, I'll take it. Really? You can also check out the YouTube channel. We're just shy of 4,000 hits. So, you know, if we can bump that up, that'd be awesome. You guys are going nutty with the YouTube stuff. We were at a couple thousand at the beginning of November and we've almost doubled that over the last month and a half. So, I appreciate you guys checking that out, looking at stuff. Start in the mushroom. Yeah, passing it around. Please, you know, if you guys get the newsletter, you can forward that on. You know, pass it around to your friends. We'd love to see, you know, our community grow here and the

chat stuff grow. You guys are always awesome to interact with. It's always fun to have other folks on. So, thank you for, you know, participating. That really makes the show a lot, like, real fun for us. So, I appreciate that. So, heading into 2011, we look forward to seeing much more of you. And, you know, again, if you guys are interested in looking for a church to attend or, more importantly, a relationship with Jesus Christ, we'd love to see you at Pathway Church. We meet Sundays at Wallace Elementary at either 9 o'clock or 10.30. The service is the same for both, so feel free to come to either. We, we, we, both. Yeah. Yeah. It's not like which Sunday you happen to show up. Oh, we're either at 9 or 10.30. Oh, right, right.

It's like a speakeasy. We're in the mood for 10.30 today. The feds have shut us down at 9.30. We're moving to 10.30. I've given the wrong impression. My bad. I put something on Facebook last Saturday. He's trying to close up because we're like then, aren't we? Yeah. Anyway, I was just like concluding the sermon series, you know, blah, blah, blah. And people were like thinking I was like my last Sunday at Pathway. Oh. They're like, what? Where did you get that, man? How does that even, how do you read that into this? I'm dusting it off my feet. I'm out of here. Did you, did you correct that? Because if they show up this coming week, they're going to very well think that you're out, Dan.

That'd be really funny. No, I did correct it. Okay, very good. All right. Thanks so much for listening to the show. You guys have a wonderful week. Be safe on your 2010 celebrations into a wonderful 2011 and we will see you next year. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.