Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live from the Pathway

Studios. And you're listening to Live From The Pathway, coming from The Pathway Studios here in Johnston Proper. It is good to be with you. Welcome, friend. Come closer and know me better. What is that? Every day. Every day, I must say it. Wait. Did you say that last time? Yeah. What I what was it again? It was it was a well, welcome friend. Come closer and know me better. It's that present ghost of the ghost of the the past, present, and the future from the Muppet from the Muppet movie of the Christmas Girl. He had that little accent of some sort going on. Yeah. He's a big jolly giant. I can't really pull it off, but I was I made fun of my daughter almost all week because we were at we were at the Saint Louis Zoo or whatever last week, Kansas City Zoo maybe, and there's like this big canary hut. It got me like 500 canaries in there. Right? And they're like, careful. They might land on you. And so she gets so excited, like, there's a big opportunity. One of these canaries is gonna land on you. Right? Yeah. So she walking around this canary hut with her elbow out like it's the canary's natural habitat. And I mean, and for half an hour, she's getting like an inch away from every canary and be like, get get get on my elbow. Get on my elbow. And then when that don't work, she'd like stick her pointer finger out and be like, oh, this will do it. The poor girl got snubbed. Like, seriously, no canaries ever landed on her elbow or her finger. You can tell she's like a farm girl. Yeah. Yeah. Because the city girls are like, keep that bird away from me. No. She was she was right up in these canaries. And so I so the whole time she was doing it, I was come bird and know me better.

She doesn't think it's very funny now, but I could have done better on an opening story, but I I wasn't quite as prepared as I thought. Alright then. But we do know you better. Here's what we got going on the show tonight. We are, very excited, to have the, the the return of Crystal Joy in studio. Hi, Crystal. Hi. Thanks for having me. You bet. Crystal is, has another book out. So last time she was in studio, we talked about her book, Completely Captivated and Completely Yours, is her next book. I, I assume that you only have, like, a,

you have, like, a scrabble that only has certain letters. Yes. Okay. Yep. A crosshale version. You caught me. What can I say? That's my secret. I I shake all the letters out and I dump them and that's where the no. Actually, she has another book which does not have the word completely in it and and I was blown away. So anyway, we're gonna we're gonna talk about she's got a couple books on the horizon. We're gonna talk the one that's out now and the one that is yet to come and just check and see what's going on in her world. Plus, there's this there was a story

that I found on cnn.com, and I thought, hey, that'd be a good good one for the show. And I thought, oh, man, we just have a bunch of dudes batting the story around. This is not a good idea. And it happened to work out that Crystal was also coming in that same week. The balance. Yeah. I I think it's gonna be helpful because I I'm not don't know. I I I basically saw the trajectory that this discussion on this story was gonna go, and it was a decent one, but it certainly wasn't interesting. That's a risk. But it's it was an article on cnn.com,

and it had to do with the changing reasons why why ladies cheat. Just ladies? Not the focus of No. Yeah. Of all people. Like, on their taxes? Yes.

Though yeah. Yes. That's exactly what the problem is is that they're trying to get away without paying the government. I wish I could find a woman like that. No. But, anyway, it's it's the nuances in the article were pretty interesting, and so I I just kinda wanted to talk through

and maybe see if we recognize the thought process, see if it applies to other things, and and maybe try to understand where that what's allowed those thought processes to kinda come about. So anyway, we'll talk about that a little bit. We're also gonna talk about I mean, sometimes ladies feel like they have to stray from their current relationships because they don't know whether they're being loved or not. And I I think we can answer that question. And so we're gonna play, is this love? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna give you some situations, and you're gonna have to tell me after hearing the situation, is this is this love? I mean, what what is love really? And so I bet we can get it nailed down between this article and and Crystal's book and then obviously my sweet quiz. I'm pretty excited about that because when you were here last time, I was not here. I can't remember why. But I'd had to watch it, and I thought I did not get to participate in that quiz. Do you remember how you did? How did you do in Hobie? I I remember thinking I would have done poorly live. Excellent. Yeah. Let's find out. Yeah. Alright. So let's let's get reacquainted in case you have not met Crystal. Crystal, maybe just share a little bit about yourself, and then I wanted to to talk about your new book. Alright.

I live in the Quad Cities. I just turned 31, and I'm a stay at home mom, and I also get to work from home as well. So I write the stories we'll be talking about today, the two books that I have out, Completely Captivated and Completely Yours, are collections of love stories based on real couples. So I sit down and I interview couples, and usually what I tell them is I say, imagine your

relationship as a movie. Give me four to five scenes. That's that's your story. Doesn't always work out that way with some couples because some of the couples in the books actually break up. So it might just be one person or there's a tragic circumstance. For instance, like, one of the people passes away, or is sick with an illness. But overall, I, you know, I I interview at least one of them, and I get to write their stories. So they're fictionalized in the fact that they're like novels. You read a hero and a heroine falling in love,

but they're actually based on real people and real events, which is a lot of fun. And then I also write contemporary romance. So I've had a few novels in the in my back pocket for a while now. I've been working on Shackled Heart for about seven years now. Oh. And it's going to be published in the next couple months, so I'm really excited about that as well. I mean, that's gonna be pretty cool. Well well, hold on. I don't wanna get ahead of myself. No. I wanna talk about that shackled heart note here a little bit. Yeah. Hold on a Now I had questions. You're moving on without me. Okay. So, actually, I was gonna ask you that, like, when you because you were talking about, like, some of them break up or or, you know, like, a circumstance shows up, like and and that one was of my questions. Like, you listen to people talk about your their relationships and, like, seeing that you've been doing this for a while, do you I mean, can you listen to people tell stories and be like, these people ain't gonna make it? Listen. This ain't gonna happen. Like, this guy's person gonna die soon? Well, no. Like addictions. Like, they are not compatible at all. Like, they're sitting there telling their love story, you're like, no. No. No. That's not good circumstances, fellas. This is I wouldn't call that love. Yeah. This is not love. No one bonds over cream soda.

So wait. Was that a no then? You feel like that you that's you you're not Not yet. I mean, I'm only two books in, so give me a little bit of time. Maybe in the next few years, I'll get really good at predicting who's actually going to stay there. I mean, completely yours is I mean, it's thick. Like, you can talk to some people. I see a sequel completely messed up. Oh, I like it. So There you go. Me and Barnabas met over cream soda. Crystal started shaking her head. I'm like, what? It should have been diet. So, actually, it was it's it just occurred to me, though, you were talking about

writing from home. So, like, do you have to have and I think I asked this before, but I I just I wanted to make sure. So, like, does does where you're at or, like, does your environment influence, or do you use your environment to influence what you're writing at the time? Right? Like, if there's certain sections of the stories, does, like, does it matter where you're at, where you're sitting, or you just kinda do what you do wherever? You know, so I usually write at my kitchen table. And the weird thing I guess if you're looking for, like, a weird thing that I do while I write Yes. Something salacious. Yeah. Something silly.

Like, okay. So I always have to have a chai tea next to me. That's not so weird. Mhmm. But then I also have to wear, like socks. Usually, even in summer, this sounds stupid, but I wear like really fluffy long socks. Wooly. I cannot

write barefoot. I'm not joking. If I try to write barefoot, don't think I could do it. Don't know if ever tried. Have to write wearing socks at home. Now when I'm at a coffee house, I try to look a little more presentable, and I wear normal shoes, and it's fine, or sandals, you know, in summer. But, yeah, when I'm at home, like, that's that's what I look like, with big, comfy, fluffy socks on. When when was the first time you realized that? Like, you started to hammer something out barefoot, you're like, this is not working. I

need socks. I don't know. I think I just kept doing it until someone asked me if I do any weird writer quirks, and I'm like, no. I'm not that weird. They're like, oh, yeah. Yeah. I am, actually. I I have to write with socks on. That is really weird. Why do I do that? I have no idea. You mean not everybody keeps an ostrich in the kitchen world? Man, that stuff you don't know about people. Alright. So so tell us, tell us a little about Completely Yours. So it's it's, in a similar vein, it's completely captivated. Like, you were describing that, you've kind of, helped fictionalize love stories, of real couples.

And, so so, you know, maybe maybe share a few of the stories or or maybe some particular moments as you were kinda crafted some of these stories from some of the real lives that, that impacted you or affected you in some way or another. Well, Completely Yours is is similar to Completely Captivated in that, you know, like I said, it does have breakups. It has tragic circumstances. It has your happily ever after endings, but it is deeper. I think Mhmm. When some of the couples I interviewed for the second book had read Completely Captivated, They saw what kind of details I had already incorporated in that book, and so they were much more open with me. Just like I said, only just because they had read the other book and they they knew what to expect. And so it it's thicker. Like, for instance,

Tom and Megan's story, they go through a situation where they meet and you have these first couple scenes where it's really sweet, they're at a restaurant, they're getting to know one another, and then all of a sudden it switches gears where they're they're actually married and they're struggling, and they're wondering, hey. Should we stay together or not? Maybe we should get divorced. Maybe we shouldn't

stay married anymore. And so they have to make that decision. And so they really poured it all out there. You know, when I sat down and interviewed them, they were very open and honest with me about their doubts, about whether or not they you know, they wondered, should we actually should we actually do this? And so

it was a couple weeks before they got divorced that they actually sat down and had a conversation, tried to hash it out with each other, and decided whether or not they should stay together. I won't tell you if they do or not. You'll have to read the book to find out the end of their story. But that in that particular scene, you know, it was it was a hard transition as a writer to go from, like, this cute little scene of them getting to fall in love to switching to them married and questioning whether or not they they're actually gonna stay together.

And that's, I I really like that about the stories in that I like I mean, people can see their their situations in them. Right? Because there there are complications. There are changes in circumstance,

and there are situations in which, things look one way, and then as time and and circumstances can can change that. And that's hard for us to go through as people that are reading the story because we recognize what the folks in the in the story are going through. I remember, what what's it? The opening the opening story with, Mary and and Daniel. Is that right? Yes. Yeah. So so, like, that was a very,

it was a very interesting story to open the book with. Yeah. And it kinda did the it kinda did the opposite of what you were just talking about. So, like, you you get in on on the tail end of it, of their, of their relationship, and, it was very interesting to see it kind of move back. They're going through some struggles, and then you you get kinda get to go back and look and see how they where they started from, kind of the promise that existed in the, the butterflies, and like, that was just the cool things about how a relationship, like, starts.

And then, you know, you but you get to see that through the through the lens of, the modern day stuff they're struggling through. And again, there's just a lot to relate with, especially knowing that that underlying these are are real people who have gone through some of these things.

It's easy to to kinda buy into a world, a world of fiction, and then you can kinda live in the world and get out of it. There is something that is that is really compelling or that just sticks just a little bit longer with you knowing that at the core, at least, there's there's some real people behind some of the stories. Yeah. In that particular story, I do actually decide to start with the divorce,

and I just thought that that would be a really good way to start the book because, you know, it it starts with this hardship and then goes back in time to them falling in love and then how it all unraveled and fell apart. And I did that because I thought it would be a really good example of what the rest of the book is gonna be like, even though there are really, you know, romantic scenes in the book, really sweet scenes where people are meeting or a first kiss, and there are a lot of happily ever afters. But at the same time, this book is is more real than some of, you know, fictionalized romance and even some of the other books that I write, but it shows how deep it is. You know? Just in the last year or so, I changed my my author tagline to deep rooted romance. And I did that because I really like to get at the deep issues of life and relationships

and love because love is hard. And so that's what I want to incorporate throughout the entire book is that love is difficult. Relationships are difficult. They're worth it, but you do have to work at it. It's not always easy. And sometimes I think, you know, you look back when you're growing up and you read all these fairy tales, and even when you watch, like, Disney movies, you know, it's it's so fun to see that, but at the same time, it's not real life. It's so much more difficult than what they make it out to be. That really is the truth, actually. You watch how some of them Disney movies unfold, and, like and I watch my daughters watch them. Right? And they're like, Ariel, blah blah blah, The Mermaid. I'm like, hey, man. You barely know this cat with the legs. You know, you all of a sudden change your whole life, tell your dad to shove off, and all a sudden make this I'm like, what's Disney? Come on. You know? Trying to raise kids that like respect their old man, maybe listen to a little bit of wisdom. And all of sudden, you know, we're promoting this gal that's making deals with some snake alley, octopus woman so she can live on land and not talk anymore. I'm like, you ain't even met this dude, you know? Anyway, I hear what he's saying. Shoot. I didn't think about it that way. I'm telling you, look at some of the morals of some of these stories. Right? And here's the thing. Scary. This is what I like about about about the the way that these write. Right? It's like there's there is an actual there's a truth in it that you don't have to be like, you know, hey, man. That's true. Like, you can just tell. Like, when you when you pull up on something authentic, you know, that that can sniff of your life or anybody's life around you,

it just it rings in a certain tone way better than, like, when someone has contrived, you know, a complete scenario that you're like, I I don't know, man. That doesn't sound like anybody has anything happened to me. You know? But like, you listen to people pine over like, man, especially divorces, they're just brutal to listen to some of these stories, you know. And like, you knew these people five years ago, seven years ago when they met, and you're like, this is a done deal. Right? It's it's done. It's sealed. It's fine. I could turn my back on these cats, come back and meet them in twenty five years, and they're still gonna be smiling, raising kids, and having a a great marriage. And, like, seven years in, they're like, you know what? I just I don't see it anymore. And you're like, how did this happen? Yeah. I actually knew Mary. I know Mary and Daniel. Yeah. So to write their story, I had no idea what they were struggling with. I thought they were a great couple. Yeah. And I I love both of them. So it was very interesting. When that I was I shouldn't say interesting. I was just shocked, actually, when I found out what was actually happening in their marriage. But, you know, Mary was very open with me in in sharing about her relationship and all of their struggles because she doesn't want anyone else to go through what she went through. She went through a very difficult time, and you have to read the book, but I don't wanna give away too many specifics with that one.

But she, you know, she turned her back on what she was seeing right in front of her, but she didn't wanna see it. And so she really wanted to put her story out there for other people. Same thing with, you know, Annie and Lucas' story, you know, in that in that story as well. She really wanted to you know, both of them wanted to get their story out there for other people just to see.

And Annie and Lucas deal with long distance. Jenny and Michael also deal with long distance in the book as well. I really liked that the couples brought that up because I think a lot of young couples in particular deal with that, you know, especially when you're right out of college and you're falling in love, and you have to decide, you know, is this person is this person, you know, worth pursuing? Is it worth moving to where they live, and can I see a future with them? And that's that's hard. It's hard to think about leaving your family. It's hard to think about leaving your friends to move where somebody else is in hopes that it is going to work out in the end. Yeah. My my daughter is going through that right now. We've been having some pretty deep talk talks.

She's dated this guy for five years. They love each other. They've I mean, they have great relation. I mean, he is a great guy. He, suddenly decided to join the marines and move to Kentucky and just assumed she'd go marry him. And she's in college going into dental school in a year and a half. You know? It's like she can't just go anywhere? You know? I don't know. I I don't wanna go into you know? Anyway, she she's real confused. Like, they've kinda broken up and kind of not kind of you know, and they're like, neither one of them really wants to not

change their plan. No. You just you have a brand new job, and you're you're kind of reestablishing your identity. You know? Like, who are you really? Yeah. Well, she's still got a year and a half left. Okay. So yeah. That makes me undergrad, and then she's going to grad. You know? She's got four years of dental school. So that's hard. And he's got six years of marines. Who? Six years of marines? At least. Yeah. I mean, you know?

I didn't know they did it in I guess I had no idea what the time frame was. Well, it depends if you go active or, you know, yeah, mean, it's all the variables and everything and what you sign up for, but He should have been a pro tennis player. There's good money in that. I I always thought I I wanted to be a place or kick field goals. Yeah. That's that's that's the job right there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you only show up, like, two or three times a game. I mean, people could really hate you, but, I mean, most of the time, you're inconsequential. Yeah. It's okay to be short. You don't have to lift the weights all the time. See, and this is the way you handle love, because that that other conversation's hard.

I mean, you gotta think about it, like, I don't have any good answers there, but, like, could you be a field goal kicker? Absolutely. That's a no that's a no brainer. I'll be the hero at the end I'm glad Crystal's tackling these subjects, because I'd be like, you know what? I'm not built for this. Go ahead. Let's do the field goal kicker conversation. Hey. We're we're you're hanging out on Life in the Path. We're talking to Crystal Joy, author of Completely Captivated and Completely Yours. You can pick up both books where where good books are sold. So, like, you've got some local you've got some local places, that people can pick it up. Right? Book so Completely Captivated, you can get at Barnes and Noble. You can get at Nook and Kobo and Amazon. Completely Yours is just on Amazon right now. Oh. But eventually,

I'll get it into bookstores as well. I just wanted to try out just doing Amazon just to see Yeah. You know, if it made a I made a difference if I reached out to different readers and whatnot. So Do you, where are you at with what you read, reading, electronic books versus, versus physical copies? Do you have a strong preference?

I do right now. So, actually, I had a very strong preference toward only print books for the longest time, like, especially older books. You know, you just open them up and you could smell the the I don't know. Probably the musk, which doesn't sound so good. Right? But I don't know. There's something special about opening like an old classic book. But now that I have kids, so my son is three and my daughter is almost two, and they rip so many of their own children's books apart. I'm like, you're tearing mommy's heart. You just you just ripped a book. I'm like, I can't do that with my book. So I caved, I don't know, probably a couple years ago, and I have a Kindle now. I like it a lot. Yeah. So and I'm I'm sticking to that for now until my kids get older, and I know that they won't ruin my books. Yeah. Tears that Kindle in half. I mean, he's gotta go on TV directly.

Yeah. He's strong, but he's not strong. I bought a I bought a, like, a Charles Dickens book from a garage sale, I think, a couple years ago, and I and I I I brought it home, and it smelled like Minestrone and Neglect. It was the weirdest funk.

Like, was like, no one had touched this book for years, and but then it had some kind of, like, Italian soup odor to it. And for the longest time, I didn't wanna read it, because I thought it would like, obviously, it was like A Tale of Two Cities, which doesn't have that vibe, and I just smelled it, and I I it was too it was distracting. I had to get rid of it. So do you have a Kindle then? I do. Yeah? There you go. I do. And I I spent what did I spend? I probably spent two days right when I got well, it was it was an iPad, and it is like the Kindle app on the iPad. And I went through and tried to find out all the old classics that were free. I thought, I don't wanna pay for any of this stuff. So so then went, you know, like, that you can get the Count of Monte Cristo for free off the net and just put it onto the onto the iPad. And so I I I loaded a bunch of those up, and then,

I found that I didn't I didn't care to free read on it all that often, but it was really good for, like, like the kids' books. So you can borrow things from the library, like, where we're reading the kids are reading the Wingfeather Saga, and, that's really good to have on there. And then but what I also found is Kindle will will do a match. So, like, if you buy so the my study books, I I usually get in physical copy because I like the writing and and stuff. But you can do Kindle Kindle match and you can buy the digital copy for, like, $3. And so so, you know, if you're gonna travel or whatever, it's really handy to have a digital copy of this thing. So that's that's where I've landed on the I use it as my backup if I'm gonna be traveling about. But otherwise, I do prefer the physical copy because I like to market it. I

don't know when I turned into that, a guy who marks up books. I was I never liked that. I didn't like people writing and stuff, and then for some reason, it somewhere it turned, and now I I writing everywhere. When I was in college, I would write all over books, because then it was just easier to find my notes. Yeah. And, you know, and writing somehow helped me understand the concepts better. Yeah. Because I would put it in my own words because some of those textbooks, it's like mumbo jumbo of just it you know, you could've you could've worded that 20 word sentence in 10 words, and you didn't, so I'm gonna do it for you. Right? Don't you think they come out with, like, the message for textbook? You know what I'm saying? Like, just some guy that says it's like, oh, yeah. That makes way more sense. Now I get it. Now I'm not try I'm trying not to reveal myself as the non reader that I am, and so I just make side commentary every once in a while.

I use a lot of highlighter because I don't wanna have to go back and, like, oh, it's somewhere in chapter three. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because I don't wanna read the whole thing. I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah. So How do you so how do you edit your your own work? Do you print it out and kinda mark it up, Crystal, or or do you you read it in digital style? So I read it in digital style for a while, and I have a writer critique partner who will read everything as well. And we use track changes, if you've ever heard of that. Yeah. So we we'll go and we'll use that. And then at the very end of a book, usually, like, right before I send it to my editor, I'll print everything out. And then I'll do the same thing like we talked about with textbooks. You know? I'll highlight. I'll cross off things,

reword it, and it's just one huge mess. I love to keep those just to look back at them and go, oh my gosh. Look at this mess that, you know, turned into something so much better after I rewrote all of it. Yeah. And and so then then I'll send it to the editor and and make my online online changes pretty much. How do you look at it with fresh eyes, though? Right? Like, after you wrote it, how like, you just have to give it time. It's just built into the process. Yeah. So, you know, like, when I'm editing, then I'm working on the next book. So the editor has it for a couple months. I can work on the next book, and then I get, you know, the previous book back from the editor, and I could look at it with somewhat fresh eyes. Yeah. With Completely Captivated and Completely Yours, they didn't take me as long to write, mainly just because, like I said, I sit down with these couples and they already have some of these events thought out, and I write them. And so it was easier to look at those with fresh eyes because I've you know, if I only work on them for six to eight months, it's still pretty fresh looking back at it again. Yeah. Shackled Heart is a little bit different of a story. I've been working on it for seven years. Oh, good. And so

even rereading it now scares me a little bit because I'm like, I've read this so many times. Like, what if I miss something? But my editor is wonderful. She did a very thorough job. Like, I read I just got the edits back on it, and I read through it, and I didn't see one mistake she didn't catch. So I know she did a really, really good job. Give you, like, changes, like, this is really stupid, go a different direction? Is that kinda depressing, or or is it just more of grammar? My critique partner yes. She's little bit nicer than, like, that's really stupid. I can't believe we need this. We're allowed to speak a lot other Yeah. Well, speaking of that, my critique partner writes Christian Suspense,

and so she loves to kill off people. And every book, she will just kill off too many people. So the other day, she had me read a new draft of a book, and I'm really excited, and I'm like, this is the best thing she's ever written, and I'm like so proud of her. And we've been critique partners, you know, for like three years now. And I get to the very end, and she kills off one of the characters, and I'm like, I'm done. Done. No. No. And so like, I just, you know Did she write for the walking dead? I yeah.

I had a lot of fun, like, writing comments. I was like, no, you didn't. You cannot kill him off. Put him back in the book, like, too much. Yeah. Can't you just let people breathe a sigh? You were like, oh, we made it through the book. Everybody's still living, finally. So so, you've you've mentioned a couple times, your next book is a little bit different, than,

The Completely Yours and The Completely Captivated in that it is entirely a work of fiction. Right? Correct. So how was that how was that process how's that process different? Like, you does it does it feel radically different as you're writing? And and kind of what are your what are your trepidations about about that book, or what are you excited about with that book compared to the first two? It's really, really different.

Because with Shackled Hard, it's gone through about five revisions. And so you you know, with that, you you actually, with this book so I'm character driven. A lot of authors are either character driven or plot driven. I'm very character driven. So I knew when I started Shackled Heart, I wanted to write about a guy who was going home. Alright. So that's how it started. So then I was like, alright, I want him to not want to go home. So what would make him not want to go home? And I'm like, well, maybe he did something so bad that home feels like prison. And so then I had the idea of, alright, maybe he actually went to prison Mhmm. And if he's going home, he's a he's on his parole, just leaving prison. And so

that started turning into more of a story for me. So I actually wrote the whole story just, okay, what would Charlie do next? And now what would he do next? And I got to the end of it, and I went, wow. I really I I I don't have a plot. Like, I I have a character doing a whole bunch of really random things. And then I thought there was this wonderful masterpiece because it was one of the first books I ever wrote, and I had all these people read it, and they just tore it all apart. And I'm like, okay. I need to go back to the drawing board on this one. So I had lots of help from people reading it. And then I went back and I actually created a plot, and then that's where, you know, the heroine came in, McKenna Christensen. And I decide, well, who's gonna go against Charlie? Who's gonna push his buttons a little bit? So I came up with Mac, who was a parole officer. I'm like, because Charlie, you have this man who's who's lost his wife in horrific car accident. He was the one driving. So he has this immense guilt knowing that, like, the love of his life is gone, and all he wants is he wishes that he was dead, you know? Like, he wishes that it was him. He doesn't want to live life without her. So you have this guy who's on parole who doesn't wanna move on with his life, and then you have this parole officer

who's nudging him, saying, hey, dude. You gotta get it going here. You have to you have to move on with your life. You can't just hide away from everybody, and you can't live with this guilt. But she actually has some struggles of her own. She actually knows more about his car accident than he thinks. And so so she she witnessed some of it. And so because of that, she does not want to work with Charlie when she first gets him on her parole. So she's this wonderful parole officer. She loves what she does. She's actually a workaholic.

And then she gets Charlie on her caseload, she goes, oh my gosh. I can't do this. I cannot work with this guy. Like, I saw his accident. I saw his wife's body. Mhmm. There's no way I can ever look past what he did. And so they're, like, stuck in this situation where they actually have to to work with one another and, get to know one another a little bit. You know what's pretty cool about about writing both styles that you're talking about here? Because I'm interested. Because, like, when when you have a completely fictitious story, you take those critiques and be like, hey, man. That's my story. But, like, does anybody,

you know, read the read some of the fictionalized stories that you've talked about, you know, with with other couples and be like, well, I don't like Randy. And you're like, hey, man. I can't change Randy. Randy's Randy. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't own that critique. Randy's just a jerk. Nothing I can do. You're right. That makes it so different. I am very I'm more nervous to publish Shackled Heart because they're my characters. I made them up. So you're right. If someone critiques them or doesn't like them, I'm gonna go, wait. That's that's my Charlie. That's my math. You can't you can't say that about them. Know? He's multidimensional. Look at him. He's got so much life in him. I've never had anyone tell me that they dislike any of the real people. You know? If if anything, they become attached.

I had one reader become very attached to Annie in Completely Yours,

and she she wanted to know what happened to Annie. She's like, I need to know because the story leaves you hanging a little bit. Mhmm. And so she's like, I just need to know, and I need to know what's going on with her. And so it was really exciting actually. I, Annie is actually now engaged, and so when I told this particular reader that, she's like, oh my gosh, I just got tears in my eyes. I'm so happy for her. Like, I'm a huge Annie fan. And it's just it's so fun because I get to go back to Annie and be like, listen to what this reader just said about your story. So How cool it's a lot of it's it's you're right. It's very different in that way because it every time I hear good things from a reader, though, I tell these couples. Because I'm like, this is your story. You know, I think even now, like, they they share their story with me, but they don't realize, like, how attached people can get to them. I was I was able to tell a lot of the couples from Completely Yours that now looking back from Completely Captivated. Mhmm. But that's that has to be one of the best things about writing these collections,

just is being able to share these these real couple stories and then having people connect with them and go, I wanna know more. You know? Like, are they married now, or do they have kids now? Or, like it's just it's so fun. Well, that's how you know stuff is well written, though, at the and at the very least entertaining. Right? Like, because when you end up watching a show or something, you're like, I'd like to watch another one. That's how Netflix got here. Right? But, like Yeah. People feel the same way about, obviously, the book. Right? Where they're like, this is not enough information. If there were more, I would continue reading it. Yeah. Right? And so, like, that just means that it's written in such a way that, like, people are they're they're truly entertained by it. Help them connect. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty cool. And a lot of it, I think, is just what what they're telling me. I I love what every, you know, every story, you know, I don't know as you read it, like, feels different as I write it. I think even rereading completely yours, I had a different voice in some of the stories. And I think part of it could just be me getting used to writing these types of stories, but I think a lot of it is what kind of details the couples give me. And so that that really puts a different vibe on the stories. Now Sarah and Chris's story in Completely Yours, I've actually never met them. They're the first couple I wrote a story. I've never met them. They live in Colorado. And so I had to Sarah, thankfully, keeps a blog, and her husband is in the Air Force. So she keeps a blog, and and I was able to really read through her blog enough to get a sense of who she is and who he is and

and to write that story. But that was definitely the scariest story I've written so far just because I've never met them, and I wanted to honor their personalities and, you know, hope that I I captured them correctly. Yeah. Has anybody ever reacted poorly to how they came off in an initial draft?

No. Oh. I feel like there's a niche market. That's how you knew Randy was a jerk. He's like, yeah, that's me right on. I do that stuff all the time. I mean, that takes some skill. Like, I mean, I've said really nice things about people, and they took it wrongly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. So

so you've you're a couple books in writing about people's, relationships, and have gone through the process of of having to kind of craft characters, on your own

and and have them kind of to to live out in the world. What what have you learned about about love and about relationships, from being an author, both from the for the first two types of books, that you wrote and then also into the fiction book? Well, you know, last time what we talked about a lot was the fact that a lot of people don't value their relationship. So that's something that I've learned. It's it's very interesting to me when when people find out that I'm, a romance author of real life stories is people go, my story's not that interesting.

Or actually, we went to a wedding a couple weekends ago, and one of my husband's colleagues told his wife he didn't tell her that I was a romance author or that that I wrote this collection. He's like, hey, if Schneck's wife asked that's my real last name. But if if Schneck's wife asked what where we met, say that we we met do selling drugs. And she's like, what? Why would I say that? And then she actually she got she got to know me and said, oh, okay. I see. I was like, I wanted her to find it more interesting. Wait. I thought that was real team selling drugs. Nothing

suspicious. I mean, there's a million things he could have come up with, and he chose drug dealers? He did. He did. Yeah. We were selling black market jungle gyms. Crazy days. Those aren't safe. You know? Yeah. But something else I think I've learned is a lot of these stories, it it really showcases the sacrifices that you have to make for relationships. It could be something as simple as sacrificing your pride. You know, when you're having an argument with your spouse or a boyfriend or a girlfriend, a lot of times one of you has to give in. So you're sacrificing your pride in that instance. You know, the long distance relationships,

someone sacrificing where they live, maybe it's not exactly where they planned on living. It could be sacrificing leaving family or whatnot. You know? And so I think that it's made me more comfortable with sacrifice, if that makes sense. Yeah. Like, I see other people doing it. And even in Sarah and Chris's story. Like, I love living in Iowa, and so for it's my home. But to see Sarah move across,

you know, to Europe, they lived in England because Chris was stationed there in the air force. I thought, wow. She could really do that for somebody? You know? I find that amazing. But she she took that sacrifice. And and when you read their story, you realize how hard it was. You know? One of my favorite scenes in the book to write was when she's they just got to to England, and they they don't have their stuff yet. And so they're in this almost empty house, and she's just really annoyed. And she tries to make the coffee worker work, and it doesn't. And she messed up something with the voltage.

And, and so she takes the coffee maker, she sits it down on the floor, and she just starts kicking it. And so I remember emailing her, I'm like, wait, so it was on the countertop and then you took it to the floor and you kicked it? Is that what really happened? She's like, yeah, that's what really happened. So, yeah, I I think sacrifice is is huge in relationships. And so it's

that's that's key, I think, in a lot of these stories is you see that sacrifice, and for a lot of people, it works out. For some people, it doesn't. But I think in all these stories, it's it's worth it in the end. Yeah. Boy, I suppose if we could all take a lesson like that away, things would be good. Often too. I often feel like I'm being called to sacrifice my pride, and then I like to walk it up the mountain and then say, just send the ram, Lord. I don't wanna have to get rid of it. Send the ram.

He often does not. I was just thinking I hope my wife's listening. The prime lesson is kick coffee pot, not damn, and sacrifice. Hey.

We're hanging out with Crystal Joy, author of Completely Yours and Completely Captivated and the forthcoming Shackle Heart wait. Was it heart or hearts? Heart. Oh. Just shackled heart. Just one. Yeah. Just one. Alright. So anyway, you can pick up, both are available on, amazon.com.

That's my recommended ways of purchasing things. So Yeah. I'd I'd go ahead and just pick it up right there. And look. Do you have any other, events coming up, places you might be out and about signing stuff? Or I don't. I just got the edits back on Shackled Heart. Originally, I was thinking winter, but now that they're all done, I'm like, you know what? I'm ready to share this with the world. It's it's been, you sitting in my computer for seven years. I think it's one of those situations where I just need to let it go. Time to get out. Yeah. So it's actually I don't have a date yet, but it's gonna be published in the next couple months. That's awesome. Now these are, like, from a Christian perspective. Right? They are they're clean romance. They're sweet, clean Jesus even necessarily. But blush. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I was just thinking, like, do you do you travel to churches and talk about this stuff? Or or or or is that, like I mean, I don't know. I haven't yet. Yeah. But I could. Yeah. I just wonder. It'd be appropriate for something like that. Yeah. Yeah. It would. So, yeah, it's not specifically

it's not specifically Christian fiction. Yeah. But but truck stop she's doing now. I did have to warn her. Watch your salty language on the program. You don't bring that sailor talk in here, Crystal. You really have to worry about that. Gotta drop those drug dealing ways. You put them black market jogging jibs back in the truck. We buy from reputable dealer.

Yeah. So, hey, I picked that up. So as you wait in anticipation for the, for the first work of fiction to come out here within the next couple months, do pick up completely yours, completely captivated. I so I'll tell you this. I I think it will do two things for you that make it well worth to read. One, the stories are extremely interesting, and, they're very well done. And the fact that you know that they're coming from, people's actual relationships, really does add an extra element to it that that makes them fun to read.

And they have all the twists and turns that people's relationships do, and so they're they're flat out a good read. The second one, is it does it does help, I think, you to to think about your own story a little bit, and it's good to be reminded. I was so I I was out in, I was out of town last all last week for work, and, I realized yeah. I was driving up. I was only had been out of the house for, like, two hours, and I realized that I spent a lot more time thinking about my wife and thinking about my kids when I was sitting by myself driving up to to where I was going.

And, and that is very healthy for me, because it it causes me to, reassess or or not get kind of caught up in in kind of the wheels of time and the the motion of my work and of, you know, just the other stuff that I have going on and meetings and all this kind of stuff. And, it just let my mind wander and and and think and do very good thinking about my wife. Like, one of the things I actually thought about my wife was is I, the kids we do a lot to make sure the kids are are exploring hobbies and learning skills, and, like, I've got lists of things that I like to try, and I thought, like, my wife just doesn't have a lot of time for that stuff. She just doesn't have a lot of time for her to say, hey, this is what I wanna do.

Here's here's a skill I'd like to learn, whatever. And, and I thought, like, that's we should do that. We should and so, like, it was two hours worth of time, and that just kinda popped into my head, And I think that was it was it caused me to rethink how, I don't think one step deeper than I have been about, I don't know, what what does my wife up to? What does she like to do? And am I helping? Am I helping to be Yeah. An encourager in her life and to and to not just worry about the things that I have going on, but, like, look at what what does her life look like and what do my kid's life look like. So anyway, I say all that to say,

sometimes things like this, in addition to being just good reads, are also very helpful in in causing you to think about your own life and your own story, in a fresh way. And and I would say all your relationships deserve that. Don't don't, it's easy to sacrifice them to time and, convenience or

habit or schedule or whatever, and some things have to shake that up. And I and I think that this is this kind of thing is very helpful to to kinda reorient and relook at what you do. So, anyway, do that. Alright, Mike. Do do we have a game for Crystal? Yeah. You want we're gonna play Is This Love? Oh, that's right. That's right. Crystal is the is the sole, we only play this game with Crystal and Shop. Yeah. We we've only played it twice. And the first time, it was because she was here, the second time, it was because she's here. Like, we just we don't bust it out for just anybody. So so if we ever wanna play this, like and we need you to write a book, is that gonna be alright so that you can come in and play the So easy. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Think about it. Of of all the Life From The Past games, if there was a top shelf bourbon of games, this is it. Yeah. We just we've only busted out here once in while. Yeah.

Okay. Due to that, I mean, there's, like, a sweet theme song and stuff, but, like, it's not we're gonna put that in later. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get the full brunt of it. Yeah. So, basically, the here's the gist is I'm gonna give you a scenario, and then you're gonna decide, is this love? I mean, there's I mean, coming from the I mean, you know how bad the Internet is, Ben. I know. I've been there. It's a bunch of lies. People trying to convince you what love is. It's like, this is what love should feel like. Yeah. Or A Mermaid's Tale where you do, you know, you do weird things to meet a man from the land that you'd only met once. Like, is that really love? So, I mean, let's get let's get down to the brass tackles and figure out what it is. Okay. Scenario number one. I'm ready. Wait. Wait. Crystal, are you ready? I am ready. Okay. I'm just checking. Dan, how are feeling? I'm I'm dialed in. This is good. We're ready to rock by. Go ahead. I'm ready. Question one. Yeah. Is this Lou?

Yes. A man's wife asked him if he would be willing to watch the full eleven seasons of Frasier on Netflix. Is this Lou? A man's wife asked him if he would be willing to watch the full eleven seasons of Frasier on Netflix with her. Is this love? Ben Fooft. Oh, what? Oh, shoot. I became the booba? Yeah. You're the first one.

Is this love, Ben? All eleven seasons are free. She asked him, not he volunteered? That's right. She asked him. That's oh, no. I don't think that's love, Mike. I no. No. I think, I think he's being punished. I think I think he's being punished,

or he's he's not trustworthy. He's up to something, and so she wants to keep an eye on him, and feels like eleven seasons of Frasier will do it. That'll keep him in in place for a while. I gotta know where he's at. Yeah. Or she's trying to get him to admit to something and and expects that season five will bring out of him. Like, you can't take it anymore. No more Frasier, then he pumps out with whatever should happen. Yeah. So I'm I'm out. I I say that's not love, Mike. Ben says it's not love. Crystal Joy. I'm gonna say yes. I think she wants to spend time with him, and it's something that she enjoys doing. And so if it is something she really enjoys doing, then the whole eleven seasons is a little much for me. 24 episodes? Yeah. That's a lot. But I would say he should say

yes to watching some of it. I know I went a little bit farther than I was supposed to, but okay. I'm saying yes. Okay. Ben's no. Crystal's yes. Dan Hudson, is this love? It's funny because I the the word punishment entered my mind too as as I was thinking. I think it's a very unhealthy relationship that he is trying to love her with all of his heart, but she's making it difficult, and she's pushing him away with Frazier.

And and so she's trying to escape, and he's trying I'm gonna say no. Oh. Yeah. Hold on. I may revisit my answer by some You can't do that. I agree. You can't do that. No. Okay. Alright. Alright. Well, hold on. I'm gonna add this nuance, though. I did not consider You're not you can't add a nuance. No. I won't change my answer. You hold my first answer. I'm just just additional discussion point. It did not occur to me, until listening to what Dan said, is that, maybe it's not a punishment. Maybe she's actually trying to chase him away. She

says his fault. I I wanna send him to the garage. We'll we'll do that. Eleven seasons of Frasier. I did not think of that. Oh, that's clever. I'm still I'm saying it's not love. I'm just saying the underlying undergirding might have changed. Go ahead, Mike. A man's wife asks him if he would be willing to watch the full eleven seasons of Frasier on Netflix with her. Is this love? The actual the answer is yes. This is love. She actually has been noticing that he's been secretly watching Frasier. And Aw. And so to not make him look a fool and girly, she has brought it up, and now they're watching it together. That is indeed love. Wait. Wait. So she's spying on it? What? You can tell on Netflix what has been He's previously watching Frasier at one in the morning in his underpants? He's

he travels for work, and he watches Frasier when he's in the hotel room. And she thought, recently watched Frasier? That's weird. And so she went to check out and thought, he really likes Frasier. He just doesn't wanna admit it in front of me. Oh, that's suspicious. That's really funny. That's love, man. That is love. I don't like Crystal's optimism. Takes the question. Crystal, 10 points. Ben and Dan, nothing. Come on. Question number two, is this love? Dude gets on Facebook and writes, my girl, and then puts an emoji face with hearts for the eyes. Is this love?

Dude gets on Facebook, puts the phrase, my girl, exclamation point, and then includes an emoji face with hearts for the eyes. Is this love? Crystal. No. That is not love, says Crystal. No. I don't think so. Either he's being possessive or I mean, it's cute. It's cute when people do that, but, like, you could just have a crush on her. I don't think that's deep enough to call it love by any means. Shallow. Facebook shallow.

Yes. Facebook shallow. Crystal's no. Dan Hudson. I absolutely love. If you pull out the emojis, that's serious. I just put you all the way. I look through stuff. I am in all the way with this relationship. I'm pulling out the emoji with the hearts. Dan says, that's definitely love. I would I took the time to write my bae, and then emoji with a kissy kissy face. That's love on a Facebook. Ben Foust. I just I feel like I'm lacking information.

Is this the first time he's done it? Yeah. It's first time. What? We didn't get to ask questions. Actually, you chose not to ask questions. Oh, okay. Good point. We assumed. In your face. I'm not I'm not saying Crystal's not right. You probably can't spell a question. Ingray face. I'll

remember that for next. Yeah. No. I think that's love. Dude puts dude

puts my girl and then emoji face with with the with the hearts for the eyes. No. You shush, babe. You're done. They're hearts. Their hearts. Is this love? Yeah. No. No. You and the entire Internet don't discuss your love life with the with tweets aimed at one person,

and you share it with everyone you ever met. That's not love. That's attention seeking weirdness. No. I'm with Kristen Doyle. I'm not saying it's not attention seeking weirdness, but it doesn't mean you do not love her. Yeah. It does. It means you love attention. Otherwise, you would just walk up to her the girl and say, I love you. No emoji face and and heart shaped thing needed. No. You could have done, like, Diet Coke emoji face to Stop trying to love people through the Internet. It's not love, Ben. You and a thousand of your friends don't need to see the emoji face Internet thing. You just say, hey, babe. I love you. You know what I'm saying? It's not love. Chris Yes. Joy points. Ben Fuchs, no points. God. I think he said both. You don't know, my man. Crystal Joy now gets double points because I don't like you're at the overflow of his heart. First of all, you you've you've tried to ask follow-up questions, and then you tried to amend your answer. You're

if there's a penalty box in this game, you get it. I just wanna be right. Question number three. Lord, send the ram. Send the ram. Question number three in, is this love?

A girl puts my man and then and then includes an emoji with a smiley face and hearts for the eyes. Girl gets on Facebook, writes, my man includes picture of man, and that said and then has emoji with heart eyes. Is this love?

Dan. So she includes the picture of the man. She put a picture of the man. I I I'm I'm gonna say no this time because see see men are are are men of of few words, and women speak many more words per day. Tread lightly, Dan. And even though a picture is worth a thousand words, that's still not enough. It's it's fake, and she's trying to cover up something. My man. Emoji face. No. No. Dad says not love. Oh. Skip and Ben. Crystal. I'm being set up. This is fake news. I feel like this is a trick question. That's what I'm saying. I'm gonna go with yes. Good to say. Okay. Because here's what I'm thinking. If it's a picture, like, maybe he just graduated or maybe he earned a degree or maybe he got a new job, like, she could be really proud of him. What if I said he's drinking a 40?

Will that change your answer any Yes. Okay. He's not. I just wanted to know how attached you were to your answer. Yeah. No. I think I think because if she put a picture like that My man. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm yeah. I see. Yes. Yeah. Crystal with love. Ben. I'm being set up. No. Go ahead. No. Go Ben. No. What's your answer? I don't like this. I what did I answer the last time? Yes. I think it's love. Yeah. I do. Yeah. Because I I think it's it's gonna reveal your bias, friend.

You're trying to you're trying to give me do the dirty ways, and I don't like it. A girl gets on the old Facebook and and and writes, my man, and includes a picture of him and emoji face with the hearts for the eyes. Is this love? Yeah. No. We just talked about this last question. You and the whole Internet don't need to be talking about your relationship stuff all the time. That is not love that you'll be like, look at my man. Look at him. I love him so much. Okay. You tell your bestie over some coffee about that stuff, you're gonna be telling the whole Internet. No. That's not love. Oh. Shame on you, Ben. Crystal led me astray. Be fair, Crystal included her own backstory, which kinda sounds like love. You should've seen that coming. Thank you. So she gets she gets five points for at least giving her a shot. Ben, no points for you. Hey. She's got 200 pages worth of experience doing that kind of thing. Hey. To be fair, if you get Bubba back in here, he would lose all the points. But since he's not here, someone's gotta take

Okay. Here we go. Question number four out of five in in the game show, is this love? Is this love? Let's see. A young man sits down to write a letter, and he says he writes, do you love me? Do you want to be my friend? Because if you do, then don't be afraid to take me by the hand if you want to. I think this is how love goes. Check yes or no. Is this love? Repeat. A

young man sits down to write a letter and he writes, do you love me? Do you want to be my friend? Because if you do, then don't be afraid to take me by the hand. If you want to, I think this is how love goes. Check yes or no. Is this love? Mhmm. Can we just hear the song? Do you love me? Ben. Ben. Is this love? Yes. He's being he's being cute. Yes. It is.

Ben checks in with, yes. This is love. Crystal, do it. I say no because he's asking. He's like, is this love? Yeah. So he's wanting I mean, I guess he's asking if he knows or if she loves him back, but I even in this song, he's a he I'm I always interpreted this as like a young kid. So Like a like a six year old boy. Kid, you can really love

not love someone in a romantic way. So I'm going with no. Hey, Crystal's being intentionally antagonistic against me. What? Do you notice how she's always choosing the different answers than what I'm doing? Hey. I answered before you a couple times. Opposite. She includes enough backstory that it's hard to argue with her. She's like, if this were the deal and he was Dracula, then yes. I got maligned for a backstory and asking additional questions. I'm being mistreated. Okay. Check yes or no. Ben's in with yes. Ben wait. Let's see. Ben's in with yes. Right? Crystal was in with no. Dan Hudson. You see, I I don't I don't know what this song is. Is is this some real classic I should know? It's a it's a an old country. Like, 70 it's country? Yeah. Well, that probably explains. Yeah. They

met they met with that song, and they're thirty years down the road, and he's writing it as he's being cute. Oh, well, if it's a country song, it's gotta be true love. Dad says yes. Definitely gotta be love. Yeah. I mean That's a good answer. You know? It's like, yeah. I wanna say it's true. It's love. Yeah. Do you love me? Do you wanna be my friend? Because if you do

You've never heard that song, Dave? I hate it. I didn't sing it right. I mean, that's the general gist of it. Anyway The Cowboy Hound I'm not gonna I'm not gonna reread the whole question because y'all know what song is. Uh-huh. Here's the deal. No. He spends that entire letter talking about himself. Right? He's not trying to feed into the woman or be like, hey, I love you. Hey, I could make your life better. He's like, do you wanna be my friend? You should hold my hand. You should check this box. He's a selfish, antagonistic Oh. Every time you say you, you're saying me. He's basically like Eric You know I'm saying? He's like, why don't you stop living your life and come dance on my land? Well, take your voice away, but who cares? Because I get to hang out with a lady with a wears a bra all the time and has red hair. I mean, he's completely a selfish man. No. That is not love, Ben. I don't know anything. No. No. You should read more of Crystal's books. Maybe you should get in touch with life. Final question of, is this love? Question five. A woman writes a letter to her husband and leaves it in his briefcase for him to find while he's out of town.

Is this love? There's no way you'll figure it out. Question number five. A woman writes a letter to her husband and leaves it in his briefcase for him to find as he's out of town. Is this love? Dan Hudson. This is not love because she's suspecting an affair,

and she's trying to remind him that she's still there. It's an accusatory letter. Like, I'm on to you. No. No. It's just a guilt letter. Oh. Hey. Love you. Oh. You still love me. Right? Oh, I see. Check yes or no. Dan says, no. These underhanded ways. No. That's not love. Ben. These mind games are coming at me. My head is foggy. It's in the in the what what what what was the note in? In in a briefcase. Is it a is it like a duffel, or is it like a legit briefcase? Yeah. It's a it's a clasp of briefcase. No combination. Stenopad or, like, a scented like, a linen finish on No. She wrote it and put it in an envelope. What what did she write on the front of the envelope? She perfume it. Just the word love, like, not his name? Right. Not his name. Just love. How does she address the letter?

Dear what? No. She she don't do that. What she what she what she just gets right to the heart of it. There's only one recipient. She skipped the formalities. Does she sign it? No. No. That's love, Mike. She also put a piece of beef jerky in there. Does that help? Oh, that

changes everything. Why is the beef jerky in there? Is it vacuum sealed? Yeah. No. I think that's I think that's love.

He's going he's going on a long trip. That's why he need a briefcase. She took the time she took the time to put something in her own handwriting, and everyone loves beef jerky. That's love. Ben says love. Dan says manipulating shrew.

Ben says love indeed. Crystal, you're the tiebreaker. Well, Ben, you'll be very happy to know that I agree with you, and I'm gonna go with yes. I think she's playing antagonizing me by placating me, Mike. I can't win. I can feel this on the other side of the boner. Okay. This acts the the answer to this question actually has two separate answers. Am I right in one of them? Because I couldn't because I couldn't decide.

The question was, a woman writes a letter to her husband and leaves it in his briefcase for him to find while he's out of town. The the question is, is this love? And both answers are yes. This is love. The first scenario is, look. He just wants to she wants to remind her husband on on what he's missing when he's out of town. Right? Like absence, heart, go finder, that kind of The second answer is there's also love because she's actually teaching him how to read, and she put the letter, which is q, in his brinkets. And so slowly, he'll get it. Wait. The beef jerky was unrelated? Yeah. Actually, I just threw that in to throw you off the scent. Did she use the message version? Beef jerky is known as a hateful food. If someone gives you a piece of beef jerky, they ain't your friend. No. It means you're gonna persevere through rough times. No. It means you better eat up, friend, because this is the last bit of food you're gonna get in a while. No. No. No. No. Beef jerky is meant to sustain over the long haul. You don't have to eat fast. If they gave you a raw piece of chicken, that would say eat quickly. Good

luck cooking this poultry. You're the middle of nowhere. Wait. So who won the game? Crystal, by far. Of course. I didn't even get a digital scoreboard. I just wrote Crystal wins on a piece of paper, knowing beforehand that was probably gonna be the deal.

That was fun. Yeah. Hey, man. Game guys. Yeah. Ben, you're have to document Come on. You left well fun. Yeah. Yeah. Good game, fellas. I drowned you. Do this again sometimes. As a fear of losing your home court. Sitting on your comfy chair behind a couple computer monitors. That's how you know the word. You're listening to live from the path. We're talking to to Crystal Joy who just, I mean I mean, significantly trounced Dan and I in the is this love game? I think we lost the way did we did you win last time?

That game? Yeah. Yes. Yes. You did. There were I had to distinguish. You cut you caught that? Which game? Yeah. The love one. Right? Yeah. One, really no. One, yes. Yeah. Secular Solomon's kind of a mop. You know I'm saying? Like, cleans the floor of people. I'm not good at it either. Boo was terrible. He's the worst at it. Mhmm. But, like, it's it's a tough game to win. I'm I'm not I'm not good at it. I I wish I was better. Okay. Alright. Let's see. What oh, man. I don't know.

We got time to get to this article, you want me to just dole we wanna do some advice. You still have to act too. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Alright. I don't think we're gonna have time for the article. Okay. So so we're gonna have to buffoon it around next week. Okay. Yeah. So so we're gonna try we didn't wanna give away too much of the of of the upcoming, book. So what we thought we'd do is have Crystal give us the names of two characters, and and Mike and I would act out a scene, and then Crystal would say whether that's close to to what's gonna happen in the book or not. So, I mean, if we guess it right on,

that's a freebie. You get free plot points. Alright. So I will be I will be McKenna, the girl parole parole officer. Is that right? Correct. Yeah. I'll be McKenna. And I'm You'll be Charlie Charlie. The parolee. So I want you guys to act out the first time they meet at Charlie's first parole meeting. K. Do you want any more information? Yeah. I'm gonna have to have just a little bit more so my muse is right. Okay. So like I said, McKenna actually witnessed Charlie's car accident. So she

is when she sees him, she's very upset. She does not want him on her caseload, but she can't tell her supervisor that because, like I said, she's this awesome workaholic in in her supervisor's eyes. So she doesn't wanna look bad. And then you have Charlie who is just he's finally out of prison. So he's recently out of prison. He's feeling really guilty about losing his wife. He misses her like crazy. And the last thing he wants is this parole officer telling him how to live his life.

Oh, okay. Alright. Ready? Okay. I'm ready. Okay. Hold on. Mike, I'm a come to the office. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Crap. What's what's going on in here? This is Charlie. I'm here for my appointment.

Yeah. Yeah. I I knew you were coming, I guess. Why don't you have a seat? Okay. Thank you. Just right over here. So what are you doing back in town here?

You told me to come here. Yeah. I want you to stay out of my affairs. I'm just trying to change my life. Dang. Dang. Hold on. I'm not grabbing McKinnon in the foot. You know what I'm saying? Like, I get that she's angry with him, but, I mean, she gotta act decent in her job. It's her job. Yeah. I don't like you, Ben. Charlie. Whoever you are. Hey. Hey. We don't have to like each other. We just need to meet these requirements so that can be free. Okay. I'm ready. Okay. So let's go let's go over some of the things that you need to get done. Did you plan on I mean, what did you plan on doing once you got out? I I

have to secure a job. I've already talked to, to Ted over at the auto shop. Ted? Yeah. Ted, the guy that runs the auto shop. What's with the attitude? Ted died six months ago. Tell me another one. You know, listen. If you're not serious about your own recovery, I don't know why I should No. No. I'm trying to change my life here. I don't know why you're giving me such an attitude. I wouldn't talk the man had a Ted name tag at the auto shop. I just I went to get a job. I'm gonna be change oil. Here's the second thing. You can't have a dog in here. I didn't. It followed me in. It

followed me in. I just I ever since I left the auto shop. You know what? We're gonna have to do this another time. Because if you're gonna waste my time, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't even let you in here. Please. Please. I'll take that dog with you. No. I just I'm a get out of here. Go get get get out. It doesn't even like me. It thinks I have food. Oh, it missed. I'm very sorry. I didn't it's not my dog, I tell you. I You know what? Maybe you could get a career as a janitor while you clean up that dog mess because you brought that dog in here. I will take care of this as soon as I just can we can we finish with the meeting? I just oh, that's that's that's not good. That smells bad. I said my It's not my dog, though. I just am trying to change my life. But can I And see?

Hey. Was that pretty close? Well, there is a dog in the book. Not at the meeting, but in the book. Boy, that put me in a rough circumstance. I don't know how you're gonna get him out of this one. Stay stay tuned.

Chapter two. Here's what I can guarantee. The book is much better than this. It's it's much much better than this. You can't bring it. That was good. Good job, guys. Hey. Can I write the prologue? I mean, is this how it's chapter two? No.

So here There's an overarching metaphor about cleaning up the mess in the room. This is the sad part. Is she with Actually, you know what? There is a metaphor about cleaning up a mess. Yes. That was good. I know everything. Oh my goodness. I know everything there is to know. Yeah? I was I was just playing. I I lost that game on purpose. I realized, like, how much work it takes to be a writer and how I don't have it. When she was Crystal was talking about, like, one of the story was was coming coming out, and you're like, so a guy, he's he's going home. Right? And, but he doesn't wanna go home. Why wouldn't he wanna go home? Right? And my mind goes, bees. There's bees there. I wouldn't wanna go home to bees. Somebody likes bees. Like, you know what? This is why I can't write a book. Right? Like, I can write, like, in one and a half dimensions. Why wouldn't a why wouldn't a guy wanna go somewhere? Probably bees there. That'd be my guess. I hate bees. Jeff Jeff for two, Charlie calls a bee man, gets him out of his house, goes home and enjoys the enjoys the rest of afternoon. Yeah. That's true. Acknowledgment. I'll keep that in mind for a conflict in my next book. Bees. Am I can I write the prologue to your book? Absolutely. Yeah.

I plan on only selling it on, on, you know, low rent back alley operations. I do want hey. I've you want me to it to WikiLeaks? Actually, I thought about this, Crystal. Do you want me to release your third novel your, your novel to the WikiLeaks? It makes it look like it's a, like a like a secret document. Yeah. You'll get a big publicity. People would read it. People will everybody will wanna see it. That's true. Operation Shackle Heart. I'll think about it. I'll think about it. I didn't think about that. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You're gonna work on a pop up book. I hope it's not a B. You know, adult coloring books are really in now too. That's true. There you go. I saw adult coloring books like like but people have a profanity in them. Like, they like to color in a giant

profanity. And I thought, you're missing the point of profanity. You know what I'm saying? It's usually Pretty. It's usually a, you know, like a quick burst and be like, well, man, that's profanity. And this dude's sitting here, I mean, he's he's shading it in for a couple hours. If you're gonna slow burn anger, you know I'm saying? Like, use eloquent words or the or or Latin or something, you know, but, like, usually, we reserve profanity for outbursts and whatnot. And this dude's taking the long toy. Maybe they maybe they wanted to always wanted to be like a trained graffiti artist and just couldn't commit to it. My mom never lets me commit crimes. Trains move too fast. My dad's always been this way. Okay. You wanna do some advice here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Here, we got time for a couple. Okay. Dear, life from the path. I need to get a babysitter for my son. I'm going back to work, and he is too young for school.

The other moms I know have hired women who are good at childcare but are paid off the books. Oh, no. All these women I've met are undocumented, which seems to be the trend here. From wealthy moms to those who are struggling, they all seem to hire in this way. I'm afraid if I hire someone who is undocumented, I could get in trouble down the line. When I researched the on the book nannies, the prices were sky high. I'm not sure what to do. None of my friends have been caught. Do you think that is just the way it is now? How to find a nanny?

Is this is this woman under the impression that the newspaper columnist is gonna say, yeah. You know what? Go ahead and do that illegal activity. That's my advice. That's what My advice is go with the cheapest product available. Whether it's legal or not is none of your concern. It's a little disturbing that nothing in there had anything to do with what's best for my child. Right. Right. They're not like, hey. They seem to pay real good attention to the kids or they you know, quality time or whatever. They're like, one is cheaper and undocumented,

and the other one is very expensive. Right. What should I do? I got a lot of irrelevant details. I think you're messed up. Quit your job before you go. Yeah. My advice is just don't don't go with the illegal activity. I if yours do, I'm sure the ladies are nice. I'm sure they're wonderful. But, it's yeah. It's not legal. You guys cannot do that. Crystal,

thoughts? I think if you use care.com, you can either I think you you can have them fill out information. There are actually pretty good prices on there. Like, I've used it a couple times. And you can you can use, you can have them fill out tax forms if you want to. Oh. So and I think I think when you fill out your application,

you can, you can request that you want someone who will fill out those tax forms. So if she wanted to do it legally, she could. Mean that, and the prices are pretty good. That's true. There's another route besides just asking people around you. Right? Like, I mean, we have the Internet. You I mean, you could basically search anything you want. You've put no other work into this besides what are the wealthy people around me doing? I mean, so, like, it makes sense to check with people around you. Right? Like, if you're gonna have people you know watching your children. But, like, that actually doesn't seem to be what she is asking about. Right? She's not saying, hey. I know these people, and they do a great job.

It's she doesn't know any of them and is just trying to decide on a price point and a level of legality. Well, I I mean, here's the thing. It's it's basically the question she's proposing as if they said, look. I wanna know how to get myself through life better. I'm all stressed out. What do you do? And then she asked everybody she knows, and everybody she knows says, heroin. And then you're like, well, I guess I don't have any choices. Heroin's the only way to go. Heroin's answer. You know what I'm saying? Like, you've just basically asked everybody and said, well, I don't have a choice here. Yeah. So I did to her, what was the the final part of her question? Like, the last the the actual question? Let's see. Is this is this normal? Yeah. So her question was, do you think this is just the way it is now? No.

No. I don't know anybody that's doing that. Dan? No. I, yeah, I I agree with Ben. Yeah. I think, yeah, she really needs to find someone she knows. Gosh. These are your children. I get a little extra sensitive with this stuff. I would never give a stranger

into the care of my children ever. I mean Yeah. You know, I just that's me. I'm yeah. You know, I actually, it's it's funny because, like, we talked about something, like, missing some of the important detail. When when my daughter was, I don't know, six, eight months old or whatever, we were gonna we were gonna have to have her go to a daycare suddenly because because my wife had to go back to work. And we started to interview these folks. Right? And I went into this one place, and this lady had a porcelain can on her table. And and it was a daycare. And I thought, nope. Nope. Because you're an idiot. You know what I'm saying? I mean, you can't say porcelain cat. You cannot have a porcelain figurine in your house and be like, I'm a daycare. You're not a daycare. Yeah. Daycares have fuzzy dice and balls everywhere Yeah. And random bits of Nutra Grain bars and food and and sippy cups that are hiding under furniture. That's what a kid's place look like. Like, a daycare that has, like, breakables,

you're just not good at your job. I don't trust you with my kid. Right? Like, that's the stuff that adds up to me. You know? And and so, like, I don't care. It doesn't really matter what you cost or or or, you know, who recommendations you come by. Right? Like, the the the important stuff is is, like, if I have to leave my child with you, there's gonna see wanna be some things that I need to know, and they're real specific, and I'm gonna wanna know you real well. Yeah. I like real well. Like, I almost prefer if you were just a family member Mhmm. Because that keeps me from having to vet you. Because I like I've and I I had a very bad experience with one of my kids going to a lady's house after school or whatever, and, like, she was there for three or four months. And and and I'd I'd come pick her up, and she'd be crying. And I'm like, hey, man. What's what's what's going on? They're like, yeah. She just does that. I'm like, what do you mean she just does that? Yeah. She kinda sits by the stairs and cries. I'm like, don't you figure this had been a good thing to tell me three, four months ago? You know? And I'm like, I'll never do this again. My wife quit her job that day. Said that's it. We're done. We're not gonna do this. You know? And so, like, I think you're asking all the wrong questions here. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it you have the some sometimes those are those sometimes sometimes those are difficult. Right? Like, sometimes you don't have a choice. Sometimes, like, life circumstances don't allow you a ton of flexibility there. And so but but I I the core is you gotta figure out what's important to you. Right? Like, there's there's a 100 ways to get it wrong, but that doesn't mean there's not a way to get it right. You gotta figure out what's important to you. And what we didn't hear and and probably in that question was stuff that would have been on my list. A great list of things important. Although, I mean, cost, I'm sure, will do it. Like, you gotta you you have to actually be able to pay somebody. But, like,

I I think if your if your options are, I don't know what to like, paying more for something, a, that you trust and that is legal, versus the illegal thing even if everybody else is doing it, I think you're gonna have to go with the legal item. Yeah. I agree. Flat up. Secular says, it is true that many mothers or families in New York City as well as other parts of the country employ undocumented workers to care for their children. It's not a new phenomenon. It's part of the ecosystem of The United States economy, believe it or not, but that doesn't make it legal. There are many manual labor jobs as well as home care jobs that are filled blah blah blah. Well, she's going on a rant here. She's basically saying, you should hire a person who is filing with the IRS and paying taxes. That's basically what Crystal said. Fine. Like, get a legit person that fills out some documentation. Yep. That's right off. There you go. Just saying that was an option. Yeah. Well, secular went on to, like, a three paragraph rant here.

You wanna do one more, Ben? Yeah. We got time for one more. One more. Dear, life from the path, it's not even Halloween yet, and my kids are already telling me what they want for Christmas. That's because the kids' channels they watch are cluttered with toy commercials. I hate it because I do not want them to think we are materialistic. I was taught to think of Christmas as a time to give to others and to spread joy, not to chuck up how much loot I collected. How can I teach this to my kids if they are inundated by commercial pleas to have their parents buy them things? Hey. I got an idea. Why don't you stop letting them watch their commercials all the time?

Holy cats. I mean, is that too far off a logic here? Like, my kids are watching these things. I let them watch this show called gang violence done at home. And then all of a sudden, they start acting violent. I'm like, what are they getting this? I don't understand this. I tell you a true story. That's not the true story. True story is is like, I struggle with as my kids getting older on how much YouTube I let them watch. Right? They like to watch a couple things on YouTube about these there's, 25 or 30 year old people who are playing video games and then narrating themselves playing these video games. Right? And, like, it's not foul or anything. There's nothing you know, there's no bad content or whatever. But, like,

it's there's a level of narcissism that it takes to record yourself playing a video game for an hour and then post three updates a a week. Right? And my kids absolutely love this thing. So long story short is and I thought, well, there's no harm here. No bad language. No sexual content. Whatever. You know, they can watch a kid play video game. No big deal. Well, it turns out it's like that the the the the narcissism just started to leak into them. Right? And like like they just had this weird attitude about them that like it was all of a sudden entitled, and and they were very important compared to what the world was. Right? And I thought, where did this come from? They're not getting this from their mom. They're not getting it from me. I I know what they watch on TV. I know what their church family looks like. I don't I don't get this. Mhmm. It was you it was literally YouTube of just watching people talk about themselves and what they created in a video game. And, like, it was just it was shading their thing, and I thought, that can't be it. So I said, look, gals, we're gonna take a break from YouTube for a couple weeks or whatever because because I think this is causing behavior problems for you. And they're like, yeah. No. No. It's not. And I I took it away, and it was gone. Like, they weren't even sly enough to, like, reintroduce these bad characteristics so they could have YouTube back. Like, they just I mean, and it it went away, and it was gone. It was gone completely. And I thought, holy cats. Like, I mean, it's you knock off the big twenties, like, don't be looking at butts or whatever. That's not gonna happen. Don't listen to the things that got bad words in it. That's cool. But but, like, it's all this other weird stuff that that that seeps into them, and, like, you're the filter. That's what God made you for. Your job is to watch what's going in to impressionable kids. Right? And so, like, you cannot you absolutely cannot throw up your hands and be like, I don't know. These kids are materialistic. They watch all these commercials with the with the stuff on them and be like, it's your TV. It's your kids. What are you doing? What are you all these things are under your purvey. You're the parent in the relationship. You know? So I mean, I wanna Yeah. You can always say, I know you want this. No. Yeah. No. You're not gonna get it. I try that all the time. It's actually fun. Yeah. Especially as the kids grow older. They ask with impassion, please, and they're like, dad, we should really get this. I'm like, yeah. No. In fact, and now that they've gotten to, my oldest is 10. I I I I get when I use the magic hand. She's like, I dad, we should go do this. I'm like, let me ask the magic hand. She goes, the magic hand always says no. I said, that's why I ask him because then I don't have to be the bad guy every time. And then I just shake my hands together and open them up, and I go, yeah, no. Man, that's too bad. That is too bad. That guy's tough to get along with. You know what I'm saying? But they get it. They get you know, they get it. Like, they don't matter or anything. You know, they get it. It's a joke. But I'm saying no, and like, my nose is no, and then that's it. And, like, you don't have to explain it to them. You don't have to sympathize with them. You just be like, yeah. No. Right. That's not what we're gonna do. And, like, the the benefit of that of that type of thought process is, like, you're not it's not like you're invested in the power of the no. Right? Like, it's it it feels like

you're being straight with an answer. You're not dodging your own kids like you're afraid of what the reaction's gonna be. But, like, it's not a it's not a harshness. It's not a punishment. It's just like, I'm the well reasoned individual, and I this we're not gonna do this. Yeah. Okay? Okay. Yeah. And so, like, I you can right. You can do that a way where the kids, like, actually get a slight amount of joy out of being told no even though they don't like the answer. It doesn't have to be kind of like an overly harsh, hey. Stop asking me those things. I usually like, the way if they ask me 10 times, I usually joyfully be like, no. It's the same. It's the same. Great. I know it's right here. It's a piece of paper. You hold on to it, and you can do this yourself. Well, if she's worried about giving too, you know, she could also take the next step and have them, like, right before Christmas comes, take some of the toys that they have that they don't play with anymore and let them give it away. Like, do some sort of, like, what's Toys for Toys for Tots. Is it Toys for Tots? Yeah. Yeah. Like, go give your toys away and knowing that you're gonna get some new ones for Christmas or something like that too.

Yeah. I think there's a lot of ways. There there's a lot of ways to address that. And I I mean, here's the thing. You do have to have your child's eyes on this thing. Right? They are depending on how old your kids are, there's kids. Right? Like, ain't gonna convince them. They get free stuff on Christmas. They're not fools. You know what saying? And they're gonna see it that way. Like, I'm I'm gonna expect some of this to start hitting them when they're, like, eight or nine or 10. They start seeing the world a bit bigger. They start seeing a little bit past their own fingernails, you know, and then, you know, they'll get it. So if, like, your five year old's like, give me give me give me toys, like, they're five. You know what I'm saying? Like, correct them and get them head in the right direction, like, but don't be like, my kid's a selfish jerk. I can't believe I've raised such a brat. You you haven't. They're five. They'd only see past their own their own hands right now. Right? And so, like, you gotta have some grace and some freedom to let them grow up and and decide who they're gonna be, and and, like, your job is just to correct them in that way. And so, like, you got a materialistic kid, one, stop letting them watch all those commercials. Don't like, you're you wanna feed into them. Don't let everyone else feed into them. You only get x amount of time with them. Right? So feed them the right stuff, and and don't feel bad about taking the stuff that they don't need. And and two, like, I mean, if they're just little kids, just tone your expectations down. If you had a 15 year old that acts like that, you should be questioning your abilities, and then really grab the reins back because you only got about a year or two, and they're done with you. Right? So I think that's probably your option. Secular says, your job is to teach your children your values. True. One way to do this is to limit their exposure to television. The fewer commercials they see, the less their longing will be for something they might not even want. Give them guidance on how you approach gifts during the holidays. Can they request one main gift? What are the boundaries of their wish list? Tell them and set their expectations, what they will receive for what you expect them to give. By changing the conversation, you will help to balance out what they are seeing from outside sources and what you believe.

Yeah. True. Well, it's very rare. We pretty much spot on agree with particular. Yeah. That never happens. Yeah. I mean He's like, let them go to the toy store and pick out whatever they want, and then tell them to shut up. I need to rethink my answer. Hey. You've been hanging out with us online from the past. Thank you so much for for being with us during this interview. Thank you, Crystal, for coming in. Thank you for having me. Was so much fun. You're very welcome. Always fun to have Crystal in even though I feel like she's cheating on the is this love game and otherwise just trying to make me look bad. And so but but even so, I would highly recommend you enjoy both Completely Captivated and Completely Yours, both available on Amazon. Just do a search for Crystal Joy or either of the titles and I feel like it'll come right your way. Pick those up. Get start getting them read. And then and wait in much anticipation for Shackled Heart, hopefully within the next two or three months, that'll be available. Maybe a nice thing to get somebody for for the old Christmas. Right on. That's coming right on. Can can you gift an e book? How do they do that? Yeah. I think you can. I'll put the phone It has it must be able to be done. Wait a minute. Is are they is is is shackled art is there gonna be leather? Are you gonna print that one? Yeah. It'll be a print book. Oh. It's gotta be leather.

No. It's Jack up the price $10. I'll buy it if it's leather because people like, that's an expensive leather book. That's a kit that's a I know how to leather. I'll leather. I looked online, instructables.com. I'm not paying you for secondhand leather. Yeah. I bought I saw I couldn't find leather though. Did vinyl. My commentary on Mark is covered in vinyl. Alright, man. Okay. Hold on. There's a certain brand of man that sheaths his own commentary on the book of Mark, and then bails out on the material for vinyl. Here's the thing, the book fell apart.

It the the it it's it it they bound it in two big sections and they came unglued, and I thought I should rebind this. And I didn't wanna do it with the paper that was there, so I got some vinyl from the Hobby Lobby. Oh, wait minute. This is this is someone else's commentary, Mark, not the one you No. I didn't write my own commentary That's what I'm talking about. I thought you wrote this is gold. It sounded like you wrote your own commentary and then bound it in vinyl. I'm like, you arrogant fool. This will be this will be littered in my garage sale next year.

Signed by Ben. That's terrible. No. That's a good idea. Alright. Anyway, thank you for hanging out with us. We will see you next week. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to live from the path.