Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live from the path.

Alright. You're listening to live from the path. We're coming for the No. You're not. Yes. Hey. What do you mean? Why are you saying this to Race car weekly with Mike. Race car weekly? Yeah. We're talking v 12 inches boys. I don't know. I yeah. I got another. Yeah. Is that is that a generator? What do you mean? No.

We're talking we're talking about A v 12 generator? You you are. You're out you're out of life. That's like a amped up v eight? Yeah. I know. Drink? Hey. They actually make a vegetable. That's awesome. Yeah. Is that what a v 12 is? It's 12 A v eight with four extra, like, vitamins and minerals? Yeah. It just makes the it's the engine just gets longer. I don't know what happened. You're listening to Life From The Path. Is this the first show that no. Oh, no. We did one last week. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Alright. We didn't ruin the first one. It's just the subsequent one that happened. Thanks for hanging on with us. We do very much appreciate it. Hey. And just a follow-up for the show from last week. Hey. Thanks for those likes, man.

We got above 500, and then curious to the timing, somebody bailed and got us below 500, and then we're back up again. Whoo. Oh, are. Okay. Wow. Heck yes. We are. We've been hanging tight at five zero one. So, I mean, tell your friends. Alright? We could use the we could use the likes. Yeah. And, actually, thank you for listening to the podcast. We don't actually acknowledge that anyone listens to the podcast, but if you're still hanging out with the podcast, I I would really appreciate it. Yeah. Jokes aside, which is is meant to be self deprecating to us, but not to you. We very much do appreciate you guys listening to the show. We're at just shy 200 subscribers and have been for quite a while, actually. That's awesome. There was a time here's the thing. I just don't check the numbers very often. There was a time when it was it was, like, 15, I and think I'm three of them. Like, I'm just signed in different things. So but, legitimately, we do very much appreciate for you guys listening to the show. We hope that it is edifying to you,

and we are all jokes aside, we are trying our best to put on a show that otherwise helps us follow Jesus closer. I hope that's doing that for you. And to the extent that it's not called complaint line, you can you can give us a call at the, Bob Eisenhower complaint line, (515) 517-0085. That's call or text, and we, we'd love to hear from you. Wait. It's 2020. Does does Eisenhower know about that yet? Nope. Man, I I you know, I I should I'll go have lunch with him, but I gotta set it up so he's paying. So right? I gotta figure out a room of which it makes sense for him to take me out to lunch.

Okay. Hey. I saw this I saw this article. Hey. Do you guys have, we we just did trailing some of this New Year's stuff. Generosity on your New Year's list? I've been trying I this is my year. I'm be more generous. I'm a give some more money away. I got too much. I don't have it. Yeah. I mean, I don't have too much, but I got I got more to give. Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah. Boobie Totally. Boobie two. Rebuke or encourage?

Hey. It's my new game show. It's gonna be great. Hey. Actually, that's a good thing for the complaint line. So we were talking before the show. Mike Mike thought of a game, but then we didn't have any questions to put in there. But the question is rebuke or encourage. So can you provide us the situation at which we go our reaction is to say, do you rebuke a man, or do you encourage the man? And so if you've got any situations, change the names. Alright? Because no one wants to yell at your brother or whatever. But, like, go ahead and shoot it over to us at the complaint line. (515) 517-0085. Call or text, and, we can we can put that in a, encourage or rebuke. See, this that game has a lot of possibilities to it, on the comedy side. But, like, also, on a deeper level, I struggle with this all the time. Like, I feel like this is this is straight hard. It's like like people with with repeated issues or like, you know what I'm saying? Like, half the time, you just wanna smack them and goes, will you stop this? Just stop doing the thing. And sometimes they need rebuked, and sometimes they need encouraged. It's really hard to tell sometimes. It is. I tend to say wrong one is the problem. I always go the wrong route like I encourage, and then they do the same behavior. Two days later, I'm like, I should've rebuked. Dang. I should have done the hard lesson. Maybe that would have done four times. I think that's the that's the kind of the key here is that it's not

it's god does both and so we do both. Right? Like, god says, look, I discipline those who I love. And so they're you know, discipline is not quite the right word. Right? But there are certainly like, if you love somebody, you have to tell them the truth. And that that might come as an encouragement. They might take it as a rebuke. Either way, we have to be open to that. And I I don't think I don't think it's all if you're if you're too far on one side or the other and say, look, I only do encouragement.

Here's the deal. Sometimes sometimes a smack in the face really does actually change people, and they're thankful for it. Just because you've tried it and someone's not thankful for it doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing. It just could mean that, like, they just didn't take it well. Like, it doesn't mean that you and if you tried to encourage somebody, or or or, I guess, just just don't get upset because it didn't work. Because, like, some people don't respond to either. Yeah. And and it's just persistent. It's true. It's fairly arrogant to think that your approach was gonna win either way. Right? Like Right. It's a sovereign god's deal. And and, like, you're just saying you're just saying use me in a way that is palatable. So maybe the whole premise of the game is dumb. Dang it. I would say I'm I'm an encourager by nature more than a a rebuker. And so when I do rebuke, I tend to be really awkward at it. I just I'm just, like, overly blunt to the point I'm hurting feelings rather than being, like, this happened on this conversation. I'm like, you know you smell and you're a complete idiot. And then, that sort that's the sweetest thing. To death. I'm I'm terrible. I remember that conversation. It was awful. I was hoping you would forget that. Never. It was it was traumatizing.

It's just yeah. I'm just terrible. I'm terrible at it. I'll sit there and talk about it, and, yeah, maybe maybe you should try better. I I Have you tried not sinning? Yeah. Exactly. I always think that, like like and maybe this is just a reflection of myself. Right? But I always think if I understood god's justice correctly, I would understand his mercy all the more. Right? If I would understand all the things that deserve to happen to me when dealing with a sovereign perfect God and and and the way that he interacts with me, I would be much more appreciative of his mercy and his grace that the the lesson would would wash on me, right, correctly. And so, like, I I tend to I tend to sit on the rebuke side. I tend to say things like, look, man, you know, you're you're missing what you're doing. A holy God has offered you into this and you and you throw it away and act like it's nothing. You know? And so, like and and and maybe that's just because how I would take it in, which means his grace and mercy would be worth all the more that even when I'm willing to to treat it like it's nothing, god treats us like it's everything and still shows up. And so it's it's kind of a mix of of both put together. I just lead with, you know, you don't realize the waters that you're dancing in, buddy. You don't like you don't understand the weight of the thing that you're fooling around with. And and so maybe maybe that's where it's getting hustled up. I don't know. It's it's to be honest, it's just been it's been actually, apart from the funny game, it's been really on my mind a lot over the last couple weeks of how to interact with people who are trying,

you know, to follow Jesus. And, like, they're they're just spectacularly screwing it up. Like, they're they don't understand it or they don't they don't understand the weight of it. They don't understand what God wants from them or I don't know. I don't understand what's going on here of how we're failing so bad. And sometimes a hug does it and sometimes a look, man, you you know, you're taking this too lightly. Otherwise, you wouldn't keep doing it. Right? If you knew what it costs and you knew the grace that's required to cover this thing, you'd stop it just on pure principle. Right? And and and and it's either one, you know, tends to still flounder. And I can't think of just cycling some stuff through my mind.

I think everybody strikes a balance here in scripture. The Psalms are like that. Hey, man. The lord loves you. He he brought you with his mighty arm. You are his people, and he is always there for you. And by the way, you're being rebuked, and he will kick you out of your land. Yeah. Right? Knock it off. You're whoring after other gods. Right? You know what saying? Like, the Psalms are like that. Jesus is like that. Paul is like that. Peter's like that. Everybody's like that. Everybody's got a mix of, like, there there's some there's some rebuke in there. Hey. Stop this. This is harming you. By the way, God loves you so very much. Like, no no one's batting on just one side. Even John, even, like, flip flighty John,

he he some of the hardest parts are he lands. What's in in first John? He's like, will you continue sinning? You ain't near the lord. Like, there's no way. And then you're like, boy, that seems super duper harsh because John ain't messing with words. And and he's a pretty flowery cat. And so,

like, every guy to a man that is speaking in script in scripture is doing that, is doing both. So I think so it takes both. Now whether you nailed it on one particular occasion or not, I pray it's certainly worthy question. Well, but once again, maybe that's a maybe that's a Western civilization thing. It doesn't have to be one. Like, I think we I just wanna I just want an answer. I want a card. I want an Excel spreadsheet of cross reference where I can go, okay. The guy did this, and he continues to do this. This is his fifth time. Follow the row. Follow the column. Rebuke. He gets rebuked. Right? That's what I want to have happen, and it it's just that it's a little greater. Okay. Then let me slightly slightly facetious question. What would you call a magic eight ball magic eight ball style contraption

for Christian discernment? The discernment ball? Yo. I hate that. Lord, what should I do? Rebuke. Actually, I have what I asked again later. I

have one of those for the kids. I call it the magic hand, and it always says no. And they know that by now because they're old enough. But, like, boy, they they really irritated them between the ages of three to seven is they would say, hey, dad. Can I have a soda? I'm like, hold on. Let me ask the magic hand. And I put my cut my hands together and roll them like some dice, and I'd open it up and go, no. Boy, they don't like the magic hand. Oh, man. Hey. Somebody Google that real quick. Uva, you got the phone out all the time. Why don't you

I legitimately just texted my fiance, I love you. Shows on. Good night. Yeah. So that I could put my phone down. Alright. What an encouragement. Way to go. See if there's a Christian Magic eight ball. I'm just kinda wondering. Christian Magic eight Ball. Why he's doing that? So if you wanna give let's say you say, hey. I wanna give. You were in good company. There's an article on discern.com for the most generous Christians in America live in Idaho, Iowa,

and Las Vegas. Wait for it. Okay. Go go ahead. Okay. America's most generous Christians live in Central Idaho and Eastern Iowa according to a new Barna report. Eastern Iowa. That Barna is up and everything. The reported numbers include donations to churches and and Christian nonprofit organizations. For Idaho, the Pocatello, Idaho Idaho Falls, and Jackson region ranked first for church and nonprofit giving,

with an annual giving total. Oh, this is before four members, giving total of $17,009.77, of which $15,006.00 1 went to churches.

Is that, like, per person? No. It was not per person. Is it per church? $18 per church? That seems low. Wait. What? I mean, do it read it again. For Idaho, the the these regions ranked first for church and nonprofit giving with an annual giving total of seventeen nine seventy seven.

What? I mean, that that's not really uncommon for families for family to give that much. Okay. 18. That's not for the region, though. I mean, based on the 10%, that's like a $170,000 a year? Nobody gives even. How many Richies you got going to your place? I mean, I don't know. A couple, couple people making $80 a year or whatever? Pretty close? Nah. I suppose. Yeah. I mean, nobody gives that. Right, Dan?

I mean, maybe, like, a a family, two families. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Church Yeah. Our side. Yeah. Let's see. There's Joe and then Norman. He's alright. Alright. Bubba, what do got there? Is there a magic eight ball? There is not a product that I found, but I did find a website that says magic8balls

and 8ballanswers.com, and it's golden and it has Jesus on it. And it says ask Jesus a question. And then you click on it, and then it says,

nothing's impossible with god, Luke one thirty seven. Wait. Every time? No. Listen for god's voice, Psalm twenty nine four. Does does the play have thine own way when you open up the page? Don't be discouraged. Ephesians five nineteen. Wait on god, Psalm one thirty verse five. Oh, man. Trust god, Psalm fifty six three through four.

You have to read both verses to get that. Be strong and courageous, Deuteronomy thirty one six. The road can be narrow, Number seven fourteen. Oh, they got numbers in this one. Let god lead you numbers fourteen eight. I don't know how many there are, but this is wonderful. I couldn't stop laughing. That's in god's hands, Proverbs sixteen three.

Wow. So I think it's just taking a bunch of random scripture out of context and then making a real quick wait on god. Hey, Ben. Okay. Hold on. I hate that article. Hold on. The average average annual giving, per person. Oh. Per member. That's a lot.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Per person. So a family of four is given, you know, $80? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What? Yeah. Hey, man. Eastern Iowa is the place to be or Idaho. I'm playing a church. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway Yikes. Idaho Falls oh, Ottumwa. So in Iowa, it's Ottumwa and Kirksville.

Ottumwa? Yeah. I wouldn't say that. Doesn't that doesn't that blow your mind, your wild mind? I mean, Ottumwa on the whole, it's a poor community. Right. And then Victoria, Texas, Jonesboro,

Arkansas. Great place. Wait. Wait. AR? That's Arkansas. Right? What what else would it Alabama?

Okay. Good. I'm just checking. Arabama? Dummy. Hey. Ask that ask that site whether I should rebuke Mike for calling me a dummy. Should you rebuke Mike for calling you a dummy? Listen for god's voice, Psalm twenty nine four.

Discernment.com. This is amazing. I'm gonna keep this up at all times during Christian conversations. Alright, god. What are we thinking in this situation? Do you think I can do that? Let god lead you. Numbers fourteen eight.

What does the Jesus look like? Explain it to me. It's it's just it's Jesus on the cross in Oh, no. In the magic eight ball. Oh. Oh. Yeah. I thought he'd just be standing there. No. It's Yeah. There's room. Yeah. Not like it's not like in sync Joey Fatone Jesus. It's Jesus up on the cross. I was thinking beatitude Jesus or something. Not No. It's crucified Jesus. It's crucified Jesus in the middle of a golden eight ball. I was thinking roller skate click the button, it's got a legit, like, the the purple triangle that shows up in the gross magic eight ball liquid, and then it says have faith, Psalm forty six one through two. Here's the deal. This is going in the app. Hey. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. What is the mobile app coming up this year? Here's the deal. One of my goals this year is to is to learn to code a mobile app.

And I Oh, no. I may have put the magic eight ball in it. Hey. Seriously, though, on the list of, features for the Life and the Path mobile app, we're doing a mobile Secular Solomon. That'll be cool. I see. I've been super excited about it. What else were we gonna put in that mobile app? Wasn't it like a mirror of, like, this man is responsible for This man cannot be trusted. Yeah. This man cannot be trusted, and it's just a selfie selfie. Yeah. Hey, man. I I think we need to help this this Reddit poster about a magic eight ball. Uh-huh.

They just posted, my son found a magic eight ball at a garage sale, and I wouldn't let him have it. My parents would never let me have one as a kid because they said the bible says no one could know the future and should not ask to know the future. So I ended up getting in a fight with my wife about it. So what do you think it is it harmless for an eight year old? Yeah. Yeah. I think it is. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's like the cootie kitcher. Right? Who am I gonna marry? Daryl. It's a lie. Nobody knows.

Here's the deal. You know what's so funny about that? It's like the same Christians who who have a problem with that are the same people that are continually falling for the end of the world. Right. It's the same group. Oh, man. This is yeah. Sorry. I just saw that, and I figured I'd ask that. That's ridiculous. Someone said, don't be too sure. I was a good Christian as a young boy, but then my parents got me a magic eight ball and let me watch the meteorologists on TV, and now look at me. Yeah. And then I and then I learned about the stock market, and then that's it. I was Oh, no. I can't predict the future. Oh, man. Alright. I'm going back to informationabout.com. This made me sad. Okay. Yeah.

Should I rebuke this Red Poster? So that's that's the official Oh, man. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Can you do that well enough? Probably not. Yeah. And, yeah, it's not good. Whatever. Anyway, Vegas was number two. Vegas? Now do you think that's because people just because they got it? Right. Because they're drunk. They win it and go, well, alright. That's the first thing I do, Dan. I get plastered, go to church, and give out a bunch of money and play That's right. They feel guilty? I I'm guessing it's not getting plastered than going to church. I'm guessing it's getting plastered, getting a lot of money, stumbling into a church, and then giving way more than you thought you were Yeah. Yeah. When you put it in. It's probably mainly casino chips. Yeah. If I give you $5, will you not make mention of how I got this money?

Lord, I know we're not on even terms on this situation right now, but, I could flip a couple coins there. How, what what would would that be counsel? So you're supposed to give 10 percent on the you're supposed to tie the the lottery winnings? Sure. I mean, it's first part of your fruits. Right? Yeah. Yeah. First fruits. I mean okay. Okay.

Hey. So there was a story out this week about the about the pope, and he's trying to find Mike and I were kinda talking before the show.

They're short on clergy. They're short on clergy in the in Latin America, where did you say, like, America, a few different places. Africa. Yeah. They're short on clergy. And so the problem is is is the celibacy requirement. They're having a hard time because they're running out of dudes who haven't gotten married and done the deed. And so they've they're they're considering the the Latin American church had said, hey. Look. Can we in order to honor the intent here, but otherwise fill the the the pope spaces that we or the the priest spaces,

can we use guys who have been married for, like, x number of years? And are, like, assumedly out of child producing age, their kids have gone and moved on. They're probably, like, 60 or 70 or above. Can they be priests? Can we ordain them so that people can do the priest thing and they can spend their time focusing on the church and not have worry about the rest of family. Did did they say that they had to take a a vow of celibacy henceforth? I

don't think so. No. I don't think so. Because frankly, that'd in violation of Paul. Paul Paul says, you're gonna go depart for a time or don't come together for a time, but, like, I mean, that's that's too long. Yeah. Okay. That's I I think it's a violation. Yeah. Okay. So, anyway, so so the controversy was

is that the other pope, Benedict, had written this book. He had coauthored a book and and basically saying that that, no, we should keep only celibate priests. That's what we wanna be able to do. Now, the funny thing was is that he was only a coauthor. Was him and another guy that had written it. Now the other guy that had written it

was in town recently. Like, he is he was in the Des Moines area. And I don't remember what the under the auspices or something. It was like a conference or something. And so he was in town,

and was somehow ended up downtown, and I saw it. I saw him. I was walking out on a lunch break not a week ago, and I saw him sitting at a lunch counter. And I said, hey, dude. What are you doing here? Weren't you the guy that coauthored that book? And he goes, yeah. That's me. Don't tell anybody. By the way, the other author's in town. I'm like, the other author?

You mean the pope? Well, goes, well, kind of the pope. Kind of the pope. And I said, he's in town. Okay. He says, well, said, well, heck yeah. Where's he at? He says, I think he's in Altoona. I said, he's not in Altoona. The other pope doesn't go in Altoona. And so I drove to Altoona because I'm from Altoona. I say, I know this place. I know this hood. I know where this other pope would be. And I drove around, and there was this long line of cars, and I'll be doggone if they weren't pointing at Buva's house. The big group of them. What a mistake. They They were all there. They believed that Buva

is the is the kind of pope. The first one. And I The semi pope. And it was even harder to talk him out because I've had, you guys have heard me tell stories. I've run into these pope things before, you know, these problems. And I've been able to sort them out mostly, but, like, trying to convince someone they're like, pope is here. I'm like, well, shoot. This is wrong on multiple levels. Because one, don't think he's here. And two, he's not really the pope. But, I mean, the people are you know how the people get. They're in a frenzy.

And so I found I found my way. I got into Buva's, apartment there, and I said, Buva, you gotta you gotta get rid of these Yes. I I I think you're the the the first of the fake pope. And he says, okay. Okay. What do I do? I said, you gotta give him some advice. You gotta tell him something. Something that kinda relates to your life like the pope would when he walks out and he stands and he tells the story. And so you gotta go do that so they'll leave. So, Bubba, what what did you tell them? So, in order to get these people out of my apartment, because there's a lot of room for a lot of people, but they needed to go. I had to tell them this. I am,

unfortunately terrible at trusting God when it comes to financial situations. I'm awful at it. I've never had any legitimate trust towards God when it comes to fixing that stuff. And I just I'd never really prayed about things. Like, if I needed money, I'm pretty good at either asking people for help or going out and getting it. Like, kind of just making it work. Right? Like, I pay my own bills and have for a very long time. I moved out when I was 18, never stayed with my parents long, and just that's how it's gone.

And so, within the last year, very specifically within the last six to seven months, God has been completely shattering that, thought process of

relying on myself. And it's been incredibly painful. It's been, it's been a rough process because I have a lot of pride. The goddess had to break down and continually break down to this day that I'm still terrible at.

But what that leads to is, in my prayer life with God, trying to figure out how financial stuff is gonna work and trying to figure out how to trust him in that, I usually don't run directly to him. Like it's just not my first thought is to go, alright. There's a financial situation happening whether I need some money for a bill or I have to pay somebody back or if something's coming up that I need money for, whatever the situation may be. My first thought is how am I gonna take care of this? And so I usually put together stuff and start figuring out, you know, I could borrow a little bit from this person, a little bit from this person. You know, I I've already borrowed from that person, so I can't go there or, you know, I can go over here or I can get a new job, or take on other stuff. Right? Like, there's whatever way. I develop this plan

to to come up with the money, and it's usually not immediately, hey. I'm gonna talk to God about this and figure out what he's gonna do with it. Right? And so that's kind of spearheaded within the last couple weeks pretty hardcore. Very, very personally, I left my job, about three,

four months ago from a job that I was making good money, and I left that, for a job that I'm not doing great in, but that's fine. You know, God's got me there, I've we're really trying to trust that. But within the last couple weeks, one of the situations that's arisen has been I was a large amount of money shy of being able to pay my bills. Like, wasn't like, hey. I need 50 bones to get this figured out. It was I'm hundreds of dollars away from being able to make this work. And so my my brain immediately goes to how am I gonna figure this out? What am I gonna do? Who can I talk to? All this different stuff.

And and I'm freaking out. Because I'm like, I I don't wanna I don't wanna lose my situation. I don't wanna lose my apartment. I don't lose a car. I don't wanna lose my job because I can't, you know, do all this stupid stuff. I need food to live. Just not an option to not have the money. But my brain immediately went to, okay, is there anybody I can call to get some cash? If not, how can I advertise myself to go like just figure out, like, lifting boxes for people? I'm a big dude, maybe something like that. Or modeling. Or modeling. Yeah. Like, male modeling. It I have the a large career in male modeling. No pun intended.

But That tickled me. I'm glad I'm glad you like that, Mike. But,

I just I that was my initial initial reaction was how can I fix this? And, thankfully, I was surrounded by Jesus people that kinda looked at me, and and it was definitely a rebuke moment more than an encourage moment, because they were like, dude, what is wrong with you? What what are you talking about? Why are you gonna make phone calls? And I think I specifically might have said at one point in time, I'm gonna make a few phone calls, and I'll start praying about this tomorrow. Now I'm admitting that. So you're all making car.

Yeah. I'm I'm admitting that so you guys know that I'm a fool going into this. Okay? And so, yeah, I've I I I I said something along those lines of I'm gonna make a couple phone calls. Is it okay to make some phone calls and then pray about something, just to try and figure this out? And I kinda got a yell of, no. Mhmm. That's not okay, you fool. What are you talking about? Like, you know God's got you. You know he's gonna take care of you. You'll profess this. You know his love for you. You know that he is a good father, and he's gonna provide the way that you you need.

Like, shut up and just pray to him. Like, go to him. And so, like, I'm sitting there. I'm just like, I was upset because not to go too far into it, like, I I my traumatic brain just from crap that's happened to me in the last fifteen years, like, I'm very bad at relying on people. I'm just really bad at it. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel needy. It makes me feel really terrible. Like, it was just I used to be a total boob and, like, was not able to take care of anything for myself, and I've really tried to kill that booba and and move on from there and become a man. Right? Like, I'm trying to get a wife right now. Like, I gotta figure this out. And so that's where my brain went was, no. I gotta I gotta get this done. I'm not gonna let my bills go. I just gotta make the money somehow. I'll figure it out. And that's totally against what I'm kind of figuring out is like, yes, it's okay to have a certain

level of that of of of, like, actualizing a plan and getting it taken care of, but it's never a good deal to go. I'm gonna set my plans in motion, and then I'll check back with God real quick and go, hey. All the stuff I just did, is that the right thing? I know I didn't ask you beforehand, but that's where I'm at. Right? And so this this all comes to spearheading. I'm I'm actually really upset with the people that are that are giving me crap about this. Like, I started getting really quiet. I'm not I'm not worshiping God. I'm kind of upset. My fiance and I pray about it, but I'm just like, I don't really wanna pray too much right now because, like, I'm kind of mad about this. Like, God, feel like you told me to leave my situation in which this would not have been a problem to go into this, and now I'm in the straits again. Like, come on, man. Like, that's that's ridiculous. Like, I know I'm supposed to trust you, but here's where I'm at. And it was an angry prayer. Like, I was upset. I'm just like, I don't know how to trust you. You keep putting this on me like, I don't know how to trust you. I'm trying to do this right. So the next morning rolls around, and I got a text message from one of those people that says, hey.

Let's meet up for lunch today. And I go, okay. Fine. I'm cooking at home. Come on over. We'll we'll do lunch here. And so he comes over, and he starts talking to me about some marital stuff and talking to me about how I need to get better at, like, praying with my fiance about stuff even if I feel like it's not it's just whatever. And so we're sitting there talking, and then he gets, he gets a FaceTime from his wife. And she he's across the the the living room from me, and he goes, hi, sweetheart. And she goes, hi, where are you? And he goes, oh, I'm I'm at, I'm at Buva's house right now. And she goes, what? Because he's never once offered to come over to my place and have lunch with me. Like, it's we've we've known each other for a decade plus, and it's just never been a thing with us. He he's never done that. But so he asked he we do that, and she goes, why are you there? And he explains it. Then she goes, great. Because I've been trying to figure out a way to FaceTime both of you simultaneously.

And I, you know, wave and I said, hi. I'm right here. And she goes, let me read you a letter we just got. And so I'm laughing about this and I'm like, okay. This is gonna be something weird. What's going on? And she's laughing. She reads this letter and it turns out some random person from over a year ago that this guy has worked with, reaches out to him and sends him a letter that says,

you were such a good dude to me. You were so cool. One of my bet the the best boss I've ever had in my whole life. All this different stuff. I really appreciated who you were. I had such a great time working with you. Thank you so much for for for, you know, being around me, all this different stuff. Right? And then it says, something about family and he had lost a brother recently and he was caretaker for the brother and the brother passed away and left him a significant sum of money. And it said he'd his passed away brother had said to him, all I want you to do with the money is is give it to people that it's gonna benefit them. Just give them amount of money that's gonna help. And so the dude goes, well, that's definitely this person. And so he

he sends some lump of money to to the people that are are the ones who kind of reamed me on, on how I was supposed to do this right and how I was supposed to trust in God. And so I'm laughing, and they just go, well, it wasn't what we would have had planned with the money, but here you go. And they basically just hand it right over to me. And it it's not $50. And it doesn't matter if it was $50. It's money. But, like, it was completely taken care of. Like, more than I could have asked for completely taken care of to where right now, I'm sitting pretty. I I'm broke. I have no money. I literally had to get my quarters out today to grab a bottle of water, which I don't care about. Everything's taken care of. You should stop buying that sissy water. Hey. Don't you don't you talk to me about sissy water. I'm down like 60 pounds in the last two and a half months, so I don't wanna hear it. I'm just saying, Buva's water makes like a ding sound when you open it.

You're ridiculous. Yeah, that's fresh. Yeah, it's wonderful. And so it made me laugh though because I'm like

I went into this knowing who God was like his identity didn't change in the beginning of this after it in the middle of it his identity was the same. He was still the same God. He's he did not move. He did not change in this situation. It's exactly what he's promised me on countless occasions and most of the time I just go I still don't trust you. I'm gonna take care of it. But finally, even in a small semblance of an amount, went, shut up, boova.

Stop trying to figure this out on your own to pray. And I really did. And it came through completely. Completely.

Like I don't have more money than I need, I had exactly what I needed. I think that's important because I I I really like that concept but it just it made me laugh that like in the very beginning, I went up to God and went I know you're the same God and I know I can trust or I know you say I can trust you and know you're faithful and you never change but I'm just I'm a do this. I'm a take care of this and my pride and my self selfishness got in the way of being faithful to God and just trusting him as my father. Right? And so

I I pray this crappy boob prayer that's like, alright. I don't trust you. I I just need you to just just help my unbelief right now. And then he shows up perfectly. And I that's not the first time that's happened. That is not the first time that's happened in my life. That's happened on multiple that's happened on dozens of occasions. God has shown up perfectly for me whether it's financially, whether it's spiritually, whether it's emotionally with someone that I needed and didn't know, whether it's something mental that I needed when I was having a breakdown and I had no clue what to do, God has shown up immeasurably and perfectly

100% of the time. He has never failed me. He has never let me down. He does not change. He does not move. He is faithful to his promises, and there's nothing better than that. That is a phenomenal stance to be. And I keep spitting in his face every time something bad happens. Like, I can't trust Yahweh to take care of me completely, and it's ridiculous. And I just started looking back at, like, what are these things that I've continually done? Like,

why am I not reminding myself this? Why am I not, you know, raising the Ebenezer kind of thing? Why am I not doing this every time something happens? Why don't I have a frigging rock in hand and set up an altar and go, me and my children need to remind ourselves of this when we walk past this stone that says, is faithful. He does not move. He does not change, and he's a good father. And so all I had to do was I didn't even work anything. That's the most important part for me right there is. My brain immediately went, boobah, figure it out. I didn't have to figure out anything.

There was no work on my part. I didn't take another job in. I didn't do anything special. God just showed up. Now I'm not saying that's always how it's gonna happen, and God does not promise that's the situation. It's just how he decided to show up in this one scenario. So don't think I'm saying, hey. You never have to work for it. God's gonna show up and do it regardless. That's not the situation. But that's just what that's the way he chose to show me right now Yep. Is that when I try and develop something for my good, my plans fail, and they don't do things well. But if God promises me something and he's gonna take care of me, he shows up every single time without fail. Without fail. He is undefeated.

Like 100% undefeated in this. And like it just it makes me laugh that like whenever some turmoil happens or whenever something shakes, I go to myself like I'm my own savior and I'm a fix things because I'm a prideful beast. But then every single time God swoops in like the superhero he is in my story every single time and shows up and goes, son, I love you. I promised you something, am faithful.

You follow me, you seek my kingdom first, you run to me in the storm, I'm your anchor, I'm your lighthouse. I'm your rock. That is who I am. And so all I've been able to do since this happened is a, tell people this story, and b, praise him. Like, I I pretty much put on a concert for Jesus. Like, that is exactly what I had to do. I felt bad about it because other people had to hear it, but I I just I had to turn on praise music on my phone and scream it out because I was like, this is my god. This is my papa. He is in my corner, and nothing can stand in my way. Not fear, not demons, not anyone else in the world, not my own sin, not my own pride. Nothing stands in the way of my God for who he is and how relentlessly he runs after my heart and to take care of me entirely.

And it's just astonishing. And I hope I remember this. I wanted to talk about this today on the show so that the next time I need to, I can listen to this as my freaking Ebenezer. Yeah. Yeah. I can listen to this as my rock and go, dude, listen to your own words, you prideful selfish beast. You talked about that. Now shut up and listen to it. Realize that God is perfect and unfailing

and unwavering. Love that and live in that and understand your identity is in Christ's kingdom. That's the most important part. And so God totally showed up, showed off, completely fixed it. And it's funny because I got offered an a chance to make some money in a couple weeks that's totally not okay for me, and it's like me getting bad into back into a bad situation. Not four days ago this happened, and today I went,

I could probably use some extra cash and I could do that. But then, like, two seconds later, I'm like, no. Boobah, you shut your mouth. Yeah. You get and I saw I've been praying on that all day, and I I immediately got a no. It was no. That's not how it's gonna happen. That's that's someone else trying to get you to make money the wrong way and to take care of yourself again. Run to Yahweh. Run to Yahweh on this. You know the right answer. You know the way this works. Run to him. He's faithful. He will not move. Run to him. And so that's my Pope style, is you got to recognize that God is worthy of your trust. He is faithful.

He is holy holy holy. He is set apart by things that are set apart by things that are set apart. You have to understand that your trust in him is not misplaced. Your trust in his ways is not misplaced. Running to him, running.

I can't I can't accentuate that more. Running to him is the only option when there is fire behind you or when you have something at your heels. He is your safety. He is your rest. He is your peace.

Stop counting on yourself. Stop counting on others. Start relying on God for who he is and who he says he is, and has proven to be throughout time eternal. You can trust him.

You know you can, and if you don't know you can, learn it because it's truth, and it's real. Stop relying on yourself and start relying on your father who is the king of this universe. Get off my lawn. Yeah. It's more like a parking lot.

You're right. I know Get out of my parking lot. You know, it's it's it's funny how that expresses itself because it it tends to be cloaked over. We I we would laugh. We're like, oh, you know, it doesn't say anywhere in the bible where it says, god helps those who help themselves. We're like, uh-huh. People fall for that crap all the time. Right? But, like, how many of our prayers are, lord, please help me to help myself? Right? That's the exact thing that we're asking for. And we're and and it's it's

and I I I kinda I I like I like the the the the way that you talked about it because the truth is is that, like, what happens on the other end of putting in completely in god's hands could be a million different things. He he could he could show up with it. He could say, look. I got this opportunity that I need you to walk into for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with money. I want you to meet these people, and I need you to talk in this way. And so right? But, like, if if it's if the first start isn't to say, let me handle this out and then see if I can figure out a way that god will bless it as opposed to saying, god, whatever it is, I want I want it. I want what you have for me here. If there's a specific thing, I want it. Right. If it's where you are you you're okay. You say, look. Step anywhere. Just step faithfully. Fine. Right. But the but the but the point is to say that, like, in either case, you take those types of things. Like, when you run into trouble, your gut reaction is to go to people you can trust. If that first person is you,

you're you're mistaken. Right. Yes. Exactly. You know what? It is misplaced trust. Me. That got me in this problem. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I'm the reason I'm here. It should be the first indicator. Right? The first thing that says, hey, man. Maybe I shouldn't start with me. I started this mess. Yeah. And and that's that's it. That's why it goes in the app, Mike. This person can't be trusted. Yeah. That's why the selfie goes in the app. Just to remind me, like, hey. I got a problem. Who who should I go to that I can trust? Yeah. Blowing it up into the bigger portion. Like, I I summed it down into something small, which is a financial situation that that that god got me out of and helped me out with. Right? But, like, the the bigger picture is understanding that that being in God's will is the best possible place that you can be. If you whatever decision you're making that it's it's as long as it's faithful to what he's Right. Called you to do and ask you to do, Yeah. We've had this conversation before. You're not praying to God. Am I eating Wheaties or Frosted Flakes? Right? It doesn't matter what you're doing that way. What matters is are you making the faithful moves that are in his will that he's called you to do? Those are important conversations to have and constant conversations to have with God. I found myself in this situation because of the fact that, like, I'm not making as much money as I was because God called me out of a bad situation.

And then I went, oh, God called me out of this bad situation. I'm following what I believe his will to be, and multiple people have confirmed it. And now I'm in the straights, So I have to fix this myself instead of going, god, you called me here, and I know you did. This is a situation that only you can handle. Glorify yourself through this, please. Whether that's me losing my apartment and then you fixing the situation somehow else. That's what I prayed on. I don't care what the fix is. If it's, Bubba, you're out of luck. You don't have money. You're gonna be in the straits for a second. As long as I'm in your peace and rest, fine.

That's where I wanna be. If that means I lost my apartment so I can go to Zimbabwe, great. If that's what you're calling me to do, great. I just wanna be in your will. That is the bigger picture of that. It was just some down in this microcosm for me in that situation. Is that, like, this is an Abuva problem. Yeah. Like, your exact story is God retaking people out of Egypt. Right? Absolutely. Very clear evidence. 100%. God this is God's will. God's mighty hand has showed up, and then you get a few miles down the road and they're like, where's the water, man? Right. Yeah. Where's the meat? Oh, you want meat? Do you? Yeah. Yeah. I'll send you so much meat, you will gorge yourself and die. I am my own manifestation of the Israelites. That is 100% truth. And and here's here's what Where are my Asherah poles? It is they become it's it's such a joke. Right? You're like, well, how could they they saw it. They saw God's hand. And then every time, they they they still said, well, I wonder if God is still with us here. Maybe God has failed us even though he brought us this far because he doesn't protect his name in this way. And, like and you're like, they're so dumb. And yet and yet, every human plays this out in their life in some way or another. Right? They do the exact same thing. We're like, that guy's so stupid. Meaning me. Yeah. Exactly. I'm that guy. I would do that. Yes. Very much so. Oh, yes. I know the lord brought me this far, but maybe he wants me to take things into my own hands and see if Moses will smack them up. Yeah. The Israelites got pillars of fire and then went, is god still here? Yeah. Is that happening? I and then I used to make fun of that forever. I still do. Right. But I'm in the same situation. God has saved me so many times, and I went, alright, boo boo. We gotta figure this out. Instead of, alright, god. You were the only one in control that can handle this. I'm off. You got it. Run it, please. Just make sure that I'm in your will. That's all I care about. Right. Let me hop on the right treadmill. Give me the one that's running that you plugged in. Right. Exactly. Yes. Exactly. That's what I'm asking for. This story is convicting to me because I I I can recall on this show saying, hey, man. I mean, like, how much we were just talking about this last week, two weeks ago. We were talking about how much to involve God on on certain things. I was talking about buying an extra vehicle or whatever to let people borrow. Right? And it occurred to me

after Buba gets done telling that story, that, like, what kind of stupid problem is that? Hey, man. I mean, do I really have to involve God in this thing? That's what I'm asking. That that was that's legitimately my question. Hey, man. How much do I really have to involve God in? If you know if you know the Lord, I mean, and he sits in the office next to you, hey, Lord, just came over on my phone. What do think? You know what I'm saying? Like, hey, I'm thinking about going to get Jimmy John's. What do think? You know what I'm saying? Like, is there any re is it such a burden to you to ask him? You know I'm saying? Not to say that you gotta do the Wheaties or the Coco Puffs question, but, like, if you consider asking God to be involved in your decision making a burden, then that means you're sitting on the throne. Right. You know what I'm saying? You're not going up to ask the king who knows everything and knows all, loves you undyingly.

Right? That's not the perspective you're coming to. And you're like, great. What's God gonna want in the middle of this thing? Probably gonna have to give away half my money and then love a guy I hate. Boo. I don't wanna ask him. Right? Like so even even the question itself is is is it's a stupid. It's not terrible. It's stupid. It's a stupid mindset. It's an Israelite mindset. Right? We're like, hey. I realize you gave us these sweet breadcakes for all these years, but we want to meet. We want to meet, do you? Okay. Oh, yeah. Right. And, like, what here's the thing That's creepy. Like yeah. Yeah. If you kick off your day and you're like, god, this this thing is wide open, I'm open absolutely anything you want. And, like, just think of the I got loose plans to go to work, but I mean Here's the deal, Here here's what's interesting is that, like, ultimately, I think that's what he's asking. Right? No. Most of the time, you're going to work. Right. You're go I mean and and and here's what I like. It's like if you're putting in front of the throne and god goes, that's your pleasure. Choose whatever you you you choose something that's alright with me. Love it. And he's like, I don't care. Go ahead and do it. And I I I do think that. I think there's there's places where god's like Absolutely. I created humanity to be artistic, like, and to make choices on their own. Mhmm. That's part of what the hell they show they love me. It's how they create great art, often in my honor. And he says, at your leisure, do this thing. Yeah. It it delights the lord that you're gonna paint today. It delights the lord that you're providing for your family by going to work. Great. And then sometimes, you're gonna say, lord, I get my days open. What do you want from me? And and sometimes, you're gonna have an occasion where it says, it delights the Lord that you're not going in today.

You're gonna go visit your grandmother, or you're gonna go, somewhere and do something Right. That God has for you, and it delights the Lord you do that. Go to a coffee shop when you don't realize that I've got someone sitting right there that needs to meet you. And, like, the Broadpool Actually needs to meet me, and you're gonna be there. What you consider your choices, day to day choices I mean, aren't they 10 times better when it's the delight of the Lord? Yeah. Right? And so if I open up my day saying, look. The whole thing's open. I like, here's the thing that I think I'm doing. I'm ready for absolutely anything else, but, this is what I I I think I'm supposed to be up to. Stop it. Tell me. Make sure it's clear or or give me a lack of peace on it. Whatever do you need to do, I wanna be up to your thing. And, like, most of the time, he's like, I delight you to live the life and fulfill your responsibilities things I ask you to in this way. And then you're throughout the day, you're just checking in. God, I'm still doing this. You still delight in this? Because if we delight in this, I'm still on it. You got something else? I'm great. Right? Like, because it's not a burden to me. I just want if the Lord delights in it, I want in.

Right. Right? And so knowing that most of the time, like, he's given us broad principles and ways to live, you're probably gonna fall underneath that. And, like, that's great. But, like, when the Lord delights in something else, boy, I wanna be in on it. Yeah. And I wanna know it. And and and know that when I went to work for the last, you know, whatever, ten weeks in a row every day, the lord delights in that. Because I opened up every day saying, lord, I'm open for absolutely anything else, and I meant it. Whatever you got. And as long as that's true, I I think you're good. I think you're great. I'd love to love that mindset.

Like, I feel like it won't come easily. Right? Like, that's obviously a change that you'd have to make. Is it because you're addicted to wealth? Woah. Or your own vanity? Obviously, it is. Was that that was a slow hammer. I mean, look at me. I mean, I I think Ben chose rebuke on that one instead of encouragement, Mike. Sometimes you gotta ask the direct question. I have a I have a small career in modeling.

A slender, handsome one. A slender, let's say bulky, where people see me and go, goodness. That man. They must have recast Thor.

What what what like, what does it take to live it? I don't I I I feel like that's a holy spirit thing, which is maybe why I'm maybe why I'm like, here's what here's what I'd love. I get super excited when we talk about this stuff, and I think, great. Tomorrow morning, like, that's that's what I want my exact prayer to be. Like, I wanna wake up in the morning and go, father God, I have loose plans to go to work today, but it's totally your ball. You let me know what's going on. And okay, I'm out. And then I move on. Right? And I and I want to think

that that is not just something I want to feel and let go. But, like, I'm actually, legitimately, I will I will call and make my boss angry and be like, know what? I can't make it today. Right. I got some other stuff cooking. You know? And and and I would be willing to do that, but, like, the I don't know that I give God the opportunity to encroach that far. Where I will say that, but, like, I don't know what it would take for me to go I think I'm skipping work today to go something something something. And I and I think this is where experience starts to become interesting because, like, I I don't know I don't know that it's happening all over all that often. Yeah. Right? Like, I I the the story of the bible, like, there is a lot of sheep in sheep out. Like, there just is. Right? And, like There's also a I mean, no one wants to hear the uninteresting story of Mike who God never has to do anything but go to work. Right? There's not a book of numbers two at the second version work. Do have an Enoch walk with the Lord 300. That's right. I mean, he got two sentences. His whole life his whole life was two sentences. Yeah. But how walked faithfully with the Lord. But he made it. But he made it in. He made it. You know? I yeah. I and so I I I think that that it's it's a Taylor thing. Right? Like, where you can't go you you have to tone you're you're not going to be you're not the next Moses. Right? Like, somebody might be or you might be this dynamic character that's doing all kinds of crazy things, and maybe that is you, and you probably should be open to that, and maybe it's not. And you should have peace both ways. Right? Both ways that say, look, I have loose plans to go to work today.

I love that phrase. I have loose plans to do this. But I I honestly, if I'm open to anything, you know, hit my heart in a way that makes me know what you what you got going, and that would be great. So so, yeah, from a practical perspective, this actually came up conversation we were having at church this week. We're talking about Peter's reaction when Jesus calls him or, like, he he has him go out and he says, drop the nets. Right? And Peter, from the carpenter, goes, okay. Because it's you, we'll drop the nets, and it's a crazy big deal. And and a bunch of fish come or whatever. And then he says, from now on, you're gonna catch men, and then he drops everything and follows Jesus. And so, like, our reaction to just when when god says drop the nets and you're like, you know what? I okay. I'll drop the nets. Even though it doesn't make any sense to me. And even though I was in in the middle of cleaning them because we were done fishing, it didn't have a good thing. When Jesus says drop the nets, we drop the nets. And you combine that with the notion of the the the thing that Jesus does when he interacts with his the first interaction with his is to say, hi. You're gonna follow me, and you're gonna bring people with you. You're gonna fish for men. It's what you're gonna do. And, like, those are those are the core principles. Right. You're gonna follow me, you're gonna bring people with you. And so, like, we were talking about what it like, what what does that mean in your day to day life? And, like, can you if the core definition of Jesus thinks of a disciple as of is is someone who's following him and bringing people with you, and you don't ever bring anybody with you, we

might be missing the core notion of what being a disciple is. And I I don't mean, like, we're counting to say, look. You're a really awesome disciple because you got 500. The God may have you taken on one dude for your whole life because he wants that guy. And so it might be one. So that's not a numbers game, but the question is is, like, is your life oriented to following Jesus and taking people with you? And one of the the the questions from someone, was like, hey, man. I got a bunch of kids. Like, I got all kinds of kids, and I got a and I got a house to run and and a husband and, like, like,

is is that not my are those my disciples? Right? Like, are those people I'm supposed to be guiding and leading? I'm like, yes. Yes. Absolutely. But the risk we run is we pull external to that out off the table because we're I'm really supposed to focus on this thing. Right. Which is totally true. Like, that is that's your playing field. Husband's true for you. Husband's, fathers, it's true for you too. But, like, if everybody's playing field was only what they were producing or married to, we got a lot of people who aren't meeting Jesus. Yeah. Right? And so it has to be able to be bigger than that. And so does your day to day look like, waking the kids up and feeding the kids and and either doing schooling with kids or sending them off to school and, you know, doing all the other stuff that has to maintain your house? Absolutely. That's what it looks like.

But, like, can we be can we be open to the fact that says, god, here's here's what I have. You know our you already know what I'm responsible for. You know that, like, to be a good follower of you, I'm supposed to be discipling these people. I'm open for anything else you might have, either to use my situation in a way that brings people to you or something that takes me beyond my situation and costs me something in it. Right? Hey. I can't spend every Tuesday night with my family like I like. I don't know. No one ever gets enough family time. But you know what? I I'm gonna spend it at this place with this person who really needs you. And am I open to that? And so without prescribing to say, look. Someone's job might it might always be in the home. You may God may never have you step foot out of that, but don't goodness. Don't take anything off the table. Like Right. And that's really all we're talking about is you wake up in the morning and say, good. God, everything's on the table here because, like, I got my own personal plans or what I think you're after here, but, like, I'm glad to be wrong in your service. So you tell me what we got. And I think it's taking these kid killers, 18 kids somewhere,

or, like, maybe we're gonna I'm gonna take I'm gonna take the same 18 kids, but we're not gonna go there. We're gonna go do something else. It's gonna blow up my day, but it's because it's something you had going on. And I'm open to you blowing up my perceived the the the schedule in my life. I'm okay with you blowing it up for whatever you have going on. Knowing that he like, he's probably not blowing it up all the time. Well, that's the thing. It goes back to Bubba's point. It's it's god is god that can be trusted.

Right? And, like, you'll never actually feel and walk with him if you don't trust to follow him where he goes when he says, hey. I want you to go to the to the k mart instead of going to the Walmart today. Right. Like, don't wanna go to k mart. It's little way across town. You know I'm saying? Like, forget it. Don't make no sense to go to k mart. But if maybe you should just go. Maybe you should just go. Maybe you should just trust that god's hitting you with the Kmart for whatever reason. Are are the Kmarts out of business? A lot of them. Oh, crap. I was gonna say most of Kmarts don't keep all their lights on, beautiful. If the lord says, hey. You should go to Kmart and the closest one to you is in Cleveland, I would go. I mean, that's wild. Actually, I knew that was coming. They switched to blue lights to save money, and I think it was all downhill from there. Okay. Here's the deal.

These these conversations, I think, sometimes are frustrating for people because it's it's always a both end. Like, you want a clear line. You're like, hey. The lord wants me to be, as a husband. I need to be home for my family all the time, and I need to do my work and be responsible. Yes. Yes. You do. And you're also telling me we need to make disciples, and it could pull me off the path and have to focus on other people. Yes. Yes. I believe it will. Yes. It's a both and. I've done that before. Gonna have a lot of time. I Nope. Cool. The lord did not call you to a lot of free time. You're not gonna have much hobbies. I feel like I've had a I I felt I felt like god was was leading me to do something, and my immediate prayer was, I need you to tell my wife as well. Because otherwise, this seems like a scheme on my end. You know I'm saying? Oh, that's phenomenal.

I do that all the time. Yeah. I say, Lord, I'm a I'm a blundering doofus. I don't know. I need you to send it through this woman. I've done that. Yeah. I see it. Does it work that always worked out, Dan? I get I mean, still budget the way I expect, but but, yeah, it works out. Yeah. I guess

yeah. I I mean, honestly, sometimes I feel like marriage was set up to be the great filter. I I will come up with the greatest idea I thought, and then I will lay it my wife, and then she would just look at me like, no. And here's all the reasons why party of no. That's dumb. Stop it. And then realizing after she explains that, I'm like, yeah, that was dumb. Crap. How did I miss it? Hey, man. What kind of funnel am I in where I thought this was great? Did your wife ever do the magic hand? No. No. Let me check on me it. Check on it. Know what? That's really actually, it's really reversed on me now because now the kids will do it to me. Like, hey. You should go clean your room.

Hey. I'm gonna go get the magic hand. I said, that magic hand away. You'll be in the nursing home someday. She would like some pudding. Well, dad. Who's the comedy man now?

Alright. You ready? Yeah. Dear, live from the path, my boyfriend of two years and I recently moved in together. What do you think, Dan? I I go ahead and go ahead and move out. Yeah. The same classic Dan answer. That second lease. There's no reason to read the other two paragraphs here.

Okay. Boyfriend and I recently moved in together. Two years. When we first met, he let me know that he lost his father to cancer a few years prior. Mhmm. While I know a little about his father, it's mostly superficial. As our relationship has progressed, moving in, talking about our future, I long to know more about his dad. What kind of a father and husband was he? What special memories does my boyfriend have of spending time with him? However, when I ask questions, I get succinct answers with no elaboration. If I ask more than one question at a time, I feel like I'm pulling teeth, so I just drop it. When I ask if he's uncomfortable talking about it, he says it's fine, and I still know next to nothing.

The only time he brings up his dad is around the time of his dad's birthday, the anniversary of his death, or the time when they found out about his prognosis. At those times, he's clearly grieving. I don't wanna cause my boyfriend more pain, and I worry that I'm being insensitive by asking him to talk about it. Yet, if we are going to start a life together and be a family one day, I want to know more about his father. Curious. When when when did he pass away? How long? Didn't say. He said a couple years. Yeah. Well, they were dating a couple years. But

No. They yeah. They've been boyfriend girlfriend for two years. Didn't say how long ago the dad passed. Ago the dad passed away. Okay. I mean, I gotta be honest with you. These are standard dude answers. Even if there's no backstory or dad hadn't passed away, you know, hey. How's your relationship with your dad? That's fine. Oh, okay. Do you have any special memories with your dad? I mean Hey. That came up No? That came up this week.

I was talking to my wife and kids, they were, my wife wife was trying to convince us that we should all play more board games. She's like, oh, I got great memories with my family and friends and playing board games. I said, I do not. She's like, well, you missed out. I'm like, I don't I don't think so. Let me tell you about this. Feel like I have a good life. My dad, I would we used to my parents were divorced. Mike and I went to dad's every two weeks and, like, okay. Check this out. We would go on a Saturday night, and he would stop at the store, and we got to pick out something to drink. Mike got orange juice. I got chocolate milk. How was yours for the weekend? You you drink as much as you want. He don't care. But he's buying less, like, half gallon. Okay. You also got to pick out a box of cereal. Whole box. Also yours for the weekend. You can eat as much cereal as you want to. He don't care. You hungry? Cereal. K? And so, like, I mean, we pick out random cereal. You know, you get to try the whole aisle. It's fantastic. So we go home and you get to eat cereal all the time. No. It's skim milk. Nasty. And he was real stingy with the soda. You gotta split a can of Diet Pepsi. But, like, other than that, you got to eat as much crap as you wanted to. He doesn't care.

And then I think we mowed the lawn every once in a while, and we go out and play baseball, and we watch sports on the TV, and then we do football picks or something. And then he'd border we did we they you know, they had the pizza pizza pizza deal with the Little Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think we were eight years old. We got our own pizza. Yeah. Because he only offered our rate on one program. You choose your own thing. You eat it all the time. And so, you got we I got my own pizza at eight years old, whatever toppings I wanted on it. And if I got sick of pizza, I can eat cereal or drink chocolate milk. And and my wife's like, those aren't really good memories with your dad. Don't you feel like you should get closer to him? I'm like, here's the thing.

They sounded fantastic. Like, it's like, I I have all kinds of great memories with dad. They weren't board games. We didn't do board games. No. But, like, I mean, it seemed fine to me because that was my context. I don't know anything else. I don't even know to miss out on it. And this was a guy that we saw, like, once every two weeks. Right? Like, we the family was not together. And so, but my wife was trying to convince me, and she's like, don't you think you should have a closer relationship with your dad? I'm like, no. I think we're alright. Yeah. I think we're good. Think things are fine. You know what you think? You missed out on all kinds of the things. I said, are you are you asking me whether I missed out on board games? Because no. I feel like I did not miss out on any board games. I think we're good. And so and so, like, similarly

and I I I'm I'm guessing this question hits boob a little differently. But but but just generally speaking, I think you're right. Like, some of this is just like I don't know. They're some of those are dude answers. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they just don't contextualize relationships all that. I mean, it's not like they don't have deep relationships, but when asked to rehash them,

dudes speak for efficiency most of the time. Right? So like you're like, hey, you know, how was your grandpa? He's doing good. I don't know. I talked to him. At the same time though, these these are fair questions because she's she's looking to the future and she's figuring out what kind of dad is this guy gonna be. Right. He's gonna be the kind of dad his dad was. Now that is extremely unfair. I know. I was I'm just saying that's where she's coming because I was playing board games with my kids. So, I mean False. Yeah. I mean, I'm not nothing like my dad either, but I'm Alright. You know what I'm saying? There won't be characteristics.

Unless you intentionally are different, you're gonna be the same. Yeah. And there's a lot of people who are the same. Right. I was gonna say, yeah. You guys we everyone in this room has a bit of an extended week circumstance for we have a father that we know that we should model ourselves off of versus the rest of the world has their earthly father to model themselves off of. And so a lot of times that is actually exactly what manifest is. Your parenting style is gonna be close to what your parents were. Yeah. That's she's digging for. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. She wants to know what their what his father's parenting style was, what his relationship was with his father. It's the same kind of questions that she's gonna ask. Was it healthy? Did you like Yeah. Exactly. Because she wants to know My kids are gonna like you? I get totally where she's coming from. It makes plenty of sense that she's asking these questions because they're important to her. What did she gotta do, though, with the answers? Let's say the guy wasn't great. Then right now is the right time to figure that out. Like, hey. Hey. Because you told me a story that said your dad wasn't fantastic, I'm not gonna marry you because you might not be able to do Then you say, I'm not gonna do that with your kids. Yeah. It's one part of your puzzle. From that? I mean, I had all my wife and I had all kinds of conversations like that prior to marriage. I I assume you're having those Yeah. Exactly. My fiance and I so we I just got engaged a couple weeks ago, and so my fiance you did. Congratulations, bud. Hey. Thanks. Good luck. So she's one of the four listeners to the show. So

we we're going through a book together that's a 101 questions to ask before you get engaged. Yeah. I jumped the gun. We're at, like, 60. So Wait. You didn't do any of the first 50? No. As in, like, we we didn't finish the last 41 before we actually got engaged. Oh, I see. So so that was my fault. I apologize to the to the authors. But the that's the basis of a lot of these questions is, you ask history and you ask future questions because, like, those are important to figure out what's what's our life going to be like together. And, of course, of course, the gal, if we're talking generalities of of dude speak earlier, but, gals are absolutely gonna ask those kind of questions because that's the kind of stuff that's on their mind. They wanna know who's this gonna be. This is gonna be the father of my children. I need to know how he's going to act on my children. This is gonna be my husband. And it's weird that she's drawing this distinction now of, hey. I'm willing to completely move in with you before we get married, but now

now I gotta know what your relationship is. Wanna know what kinda dude you are. Well, I think Right. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. It's a it's a weird it's a weird line to draw in the sand. It could very easily be erased to just a new line drawn. But, but it it's that that's basic concept. Now now to defend the gentleman, though, admittedly, I I I agree with the concept of these are just dude answers to an extent. A lot of dudes will give those answers. I'm totally different than that, though.

But I give those answers also. Like, I'm I'm a talkative guy if you guys haven't figured that over the last ten years. I never shut up, and I'm totally not the the the archetype for, like, a a Mike's man's man, if you will. Like, I'm I'm I I that's just not how I operate. You should see this water he bought. I mean, I I'd I'd I'm drinking something called flavored flavored carbonated mineral water. Perrier. Perrier. And it's lime.

Yeah. No. I'm I'm not exactly lid. It goes, that's cute. I'm not exactly what, what most baby boomers. Yeah. I'm calling you a boomer, Mike. I know you're not, but it's whatever. Would would recognize

as a gentleman. Why am I getting a wrecking ball today? But I don't have, like, a poster with a dude's dude on there that I compare everybody to. And and so I saw him. I completely counter to that, but, like so I lost my dad, a decade ago. And so I I flip flop on this. A lot of times and it's they're actually she's actually absolutely right. His birthday and the day when he passed away are big days for me when it comes to holidays and stuff like that is when I get introspective and and nostalgic about my father because that's the time when it's like everyone is constantly, just bombarding you with family and holidays and tradition and all this different stuff, and then you go, well, this is what I'm missing. That's a really introspective time for someone who's especially lost a parent. But she's gotta give him a little grace on this, though. I totally understand where she's coming from. She is right to ask these questions and has the right to ask these questions. He needs to give her grace and understand that she's asking these questions for a reason. And if he loves her and wants to love her correctly Yeah. He has no clue why she's asking. He has to divulge this stuff. And so even if it's something that he wants to give the dude answer on,

part of being in a good relationship is recognizing that she wants more than your dude answer. Well, and Like, that's just that's just ladies and dudes in general. Yeah. A part of working that out is that she needs to understand how to ask Exactly. Yes. It it it can't just be the answer. Yeah. It can't just be the pointed take the one word answer and then just go, okay. If you phrase here's the thing. And and and if you phrase a question like, do you have any special memories with your dad? The first thing that comes to my head is a man sinking into sand. And my mind goes, I

don't even know what you're asking. Right. What are you even asking me? I don't know. I'll be just ask what you wanna ask. Yeah. Exactly. Did he smack me around? Is that what you're asking? Or did we fist the cuffs? What do you want to know? Right. Right. Right. Right. Question for my type of personality Exactly. It just it just it's like throwing a paintball at a blank canvas. I have no idea what you're wanting to know. And she needs to play around. Right. Exactly. Yeah. And she absolutely needs to to to offer that to him as well because frustrated. Yeah. You're you're gonna ask these, like, big questions that are off in the aether and, like, that that kind of stuff. Most dudes are gonna go, I got nothing. Like, I don't know how to answer that. You're you're asking a very lofty question, and I wanna give a very special a memory with my dad. Right? Yes. Exactly. And and that's that's honest communication between dudes and gals in any situation Yeah. Especially when it comes to something that's that's a little raw for the guy, like having lost his father. So, like, he's not gonna go into, oh, well, I remember this one time. He was teaching me how to write. No. That's not how dudes operate in most situations. I agree with that. But it's it's learning your partner's communication style for both of them, honestly.

It it complicates a little bit with with an additional, like, the fact that the parents passed away, but it doesn't complicate it too much more than it already is because it's already complicated. You gotta learn how to ask questions to one another. You gotta figure out how to target the right information. Dudes are gonna give the pointed answer that gives you the specific answer that answers your question. She doesn't even have to mention dad. She could say, hey. Who taught you how to ride your bike? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Ask him. There's a kid riding a bike. Right. She needs to be a lot more creative and understanding of that. And so the Actually, that's a great point because if you ask it like that, he'll rip out a story. Exactly. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta know how to do it. Yeah. And that right. Again, that's just that's learning communication styles and learning especially how to communicate with the person that you're apparently living with. So if you guys can't figure They're this part out just Yeah. Need to work at it. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. It's it's interesting that you guys need to figure this part out. You're also about to start figuring out a lot more stuff because you live together now. So good luck. I'm with Dan. Move out. Fine, Jesus. Secular says,

your boyfriend may not want to discuss his relationship with his father because the subject is painful, either because of his death or because they were not close. If you want more details, you might have better luck asking your boyfriend's mother or his siblings if he has any because the subject clearly makes him uncomfortable. Back off. Yeah. That's horrible advice. Our advice was better. So the magic eight ball of Jesus says, look up for answers.

Psalm one twenty one verse one through two. It's in the it's in the paint. It's in it's in no walls. Look up to the ceiling. Is a special memory. For a second, was reading it. Web. Thought it said look up the answers.

That's why I'm like I mean, that's a rather specific one. Just Google your Yeah. Yeah. Look up the answers. Psalm one twenty one. You wanna do one more? Yeah. Yeah. One more. Okay. Here we go. Last one. You're alive from the path. I don't smoke, but my mother and fiance are chain smokers. Not the mother's fiance,

my mother, and then my fiance. This is particularly annoying when the three of us Hey. Quick pause for technical difficulty.

Okay. We are unpaused from technical difficulty. Dear and I from the past, I don't smoke, but my mother and fiance are chain smokers. Yes. We heard that part. This is not a special memory. This is particularly annoying when the three of us eat together because they always light up during the meal. That's gross. For example, they'll almost always have a cigarette after the salad, another before the dessert, and then two or three cigarettes afterwards. Boy. Boy, that they really are What? Smokers. It it ruins the meal for me. I'm really disappointed in my fiance who seems to have forgotten her promise to quit smoking before our wedding day. Yes. I would say she has. Is there

anything I can do about their smoking at the dinner table? And should I remind my fiance about her promise to give up cigarettes and be a smoke free bride? Annoyed. Annoyed. So here's the deal, is I think

you need to be to be prepared. If you have if this is an ultimatum, then you should give it. Yeah. And and, like, here's the thing is I I was actually reading something today about someone who was dealing with a drink someone who was a drinker. And

A drinker? Whatever. Alcohol. An alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah. An alcoholic. And they drink water? And they said, look, I I won't marry you if you're like this.

And and the the person stopped. They stopped cold turkey and they were they were sober for, you know, however many time like, year or so before they got married, and they've been sober since. Like, it was it like, they needed someone to give them an ultimatum to otherwise force them to to do something that they didn't wanna do. Yeah. And you have to mean it. Yeah. I I I'm generally like, ultimatum, I find dangerous because, like, it you're pull you're pulling rank on someone for in a relationship of which you are equals. However,

if if it is a deal breaker, you should be honest about it. Right. So, like, take the take the heaviness on the word ultimatum out and just say, look, this is something that I'm not willing to commit my life to, and I love you and I need to and you need to know that. And then if if that's if it's that big of a deal to you, then you need to stay and you need to stick with If it's not enough for you to not marry them, then I'd be real careful on you throwing around empty promises because you I mean, there's just no reason to have a relationship built upon you blowharding about it. Right. So either mean it or if you're willing to deal with it, now is a good time to start. Yeah. And and here's the thing. Of all the things that I think it's unfair to lay down an ultimatum, I I don't find this to be a problem. Like, if you are not prepared to be married to a smoker,

you you better say so. It's only fair to them and to you because it's only gonna cause contention. Smoke first of all, smoking is expensive. And second of all, if you're not a smoker, it stinks. And it and it it just it just it's it's a it's a lifestyle. It will take over your whole place, especially who lights up after the salad at the table indoors. That sounds horrible. And, like, I'm a smoker or fifty

fifty. Anyway, I'm not quite the full time smoker I used to be, but but anyway, like, I that's disgusting. Smoking indoors is gross, and and I don't know how you could possibly be married to somebody that's a smoker and you are not. Like, that I just I don't understand that. I can't stand being around cigarette smoke when I'm not smoking. I think it's just absolutely disgusting. And so

I don't know. I I think you should I think Ben's right. I think you just you laid it out there. If it's a deal breaker for you and it is, just say so and get it out. And don't don't act like they're gonna get six months out of the wedding and quit. That's gonna be a hard that's gonna be a hard habit to break, especially if you're chucking down six during mealtime. I mean, holy cow. One after dinner is like, okay, that's cool. If you can smoke one or two cigarettes a day, fire one up after dinner, maybe one in the morning, you, my friend, are living a life. But most smokers cannot do that. Right? They have to smoke two and then the three. And I don't know if Big Chain smoking three in a row? Holy cow. Mean, I that's too much. That's too much, fellas. That's a commitment. Yeah. It really is. Yeah. I used to be I used to be a pack a day smoker. I couldn't do that. Oh. Oh, man. Three in a row. I just felt like I was wasting my time. Yeah. I mean, there ain't enough gum in the world. Here's the thing. You wanna know why a lot of our our our soda drinking is up in this country? Look at all the smokers. Water don't get the taste of smoke out of your mouth. It does not. Right? So nobody who smokes drinks water because it tastes gross to them. Oh, right. Yeah. Because it tastes like smoke. Right? Right. And so what they do is they get they'll either drink a beer or drink a soda Exactly. Or something that'll cover up. That's why people are always like, oh, beer and cigarettes go so well together. It's because beer covers up the the the My mouth tastes like an ashtray right now, and no water's gonna get it out. Perrier, you don't work.

It's just like it's just like if you're if you're Ben Fusch and you wake up in the morning and go, I should brush my teeth or drink this chocolate milk. I ain't saying it don't work. Alright. Segular says, your mother and your fiance are nicotine addicts. Wait. Hold on. What was our what was our advice? What the question. Should I yeah. Our question was ultimatum. Yeah. That was our advice. I'll drop the ultimatum right now. Deal breaker. Deal with it. Okay.

Second, it says, your mother and your fiance are nicotine addicts. That they cannot get through a meal without lighting at least three cigarettes is alarming. No rule of etiquette dictates that you must tolerate secondhand smoke while you are trying to enjoy your dinner. If they need a fix, they should be considerate enough to excuse themselves from the table to indulge. They still stink when they come back. Yeah. Once again, as a nonsmoker, I just don't know how you tolerate that. On a slightly different but equally important subject, your fiance has not, quote, forgotten her promise to give up cigarettes before your wedding. She's ignoring it. You haven't called her on it. Please do. If you marry her, you'll be living in a tobacco haze for the rest of her life, which could have a negative effect on your and your children's health in the future. Don't say you weren't warned. Oh. Well, I just don't like the way she phrases things. I don't know. I mean, all that was true, but, like, I don't you don't necessarily have to bring a soapbox with you everywhere you go. You know, can't we just level with each other as humans? Like, look, man. You can you're not gonna be able to tolerate this woman smoking, you know, three packs a day at your place. Yeah. Mean, people who have

like, if you're a smoker, like, you let's just admit that you chose it, but you are suffering under it. Like, you are it is something that, like Like most addictions. Yeah. Right? So, like, you're it's like, people wanna choose one side or the other. Look. Yes. You're responsible. It's your habit. You started it. For whatever reason, you got into it, and you bear the brunt of that. However, stopping those types of things isn't super easy. And so it's it's unfair to look at look at this woman and go, hey. You know, she's she's purposely ignoring it. She may not be ignoring it. She may feel guilty about it every day. Right. And she's having a hard time kicking it, and she's ashamed of herself and doesn't wanna talk about it because she thinks it's gonna be an argument. And she's not gonna run into someone who's trying to help her. She's running into someone who's who's gonna ultimatum her, which, again, that that's you wanna make sure that you're not laying down an ultimatum, unless you're at a point where you think someone's, like, stubbornly refusing. They may need your help walking through it. And so, like, let's be human about this type of thing and recognize that it's not as simple as, hey. I don't wanna give up smoking because I just don't want to, and I don't want to have this conversation. That may not be it at all. There's actually a lot of stuff baked into that, especially for smokers. Like like, her relationship with her mother is probably well ingrained there. Like, I I can I can tell you honestly

that my wife and I, when we were smoking, we'd we'd go outside, like, for five minutes every hour or so, every two hours? And, like, we talked about everything. We were super close because it was just her and I talking about the kids and talking about the bills or whatever. And then when we stopped, that kinda faded away. We didn't have that point of connection and that thing in common, and it it's it's weird. Like, your relationships start to get, you know, embattled in with this shared experience. Right? Like, that's why all the smokers at your worker, they're tight. You're buddy. Everybody knows who smokes what, who's got a lighter, who's got a crappy lighter. Nobody wants to borrow from that guy because he smokes menthol. That guy switched over to Bronson's because he's tired of people borrowing his smokes all the time.

But, like, and, What is that, American spirit? American spirits are I mean, they're top shelf. They're, like, $910 a pack here in Iowa, and that's outrageous. Anyway, long story short is, like, they're their own little community. Right? And, like, they operate they're pretty tight knit. If you have a if you find an if you're a smoker and someone else is smoking, you got yourself a friend. Right? I mean, that guy, no questions asked. You'll strike up a conversation with him, and it's not awkward at all. I try to do that without a cigarette, and it's just weird. It is just Yeah. It looks like you're trying to sell something. Yeah. You're like, hey, man. How's it going? What do want? I'm I'm at the gas station. You know? Deodorant you use. Yeah. I mean, it's You smell nice. Do you use the bear claw? What's the matter with you?

Is that a legit deodorant? Yeah. Yeah. Bear oh, yeah. I don't know anything about that. Anyway, take up smoking. It's a good way to make friends. Yeah. Make friends. This is what lord, I'm open to anything today. He says, dear lord, I have loose plans to smoke today. Yeah. But I'm willing to change. He says, he's gonna set me up for luckiest tracks. Alright. Hey. This has been, you've been listening to Life Path. Thanks for hanging out with us. Hey. Why do you get to announce your name? This is Mike. Dan. Kevin.

Kevin. Brenda. Brenda. Yeah. Go ahead. Announce yourself again. Ben? You threw off my game. Anyway, this is very this is very important Ben Fruz.

Yeah. Alright. Thanks for listening to the show. We very much appreciate it. We have every intention to be on next week. In the meantime, be faithful to me. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to live from the past.