Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are Live From The Path. And you're listening to live for the Pathway from the Pathway Studios here in Johnston proper.

Kazow. It's good to be with you on this I don't know. It could be the final evening of 2022. We got one more. No. We got one more. I thought you were saying, like, the world is about to end. We could. Like, are we doing some end times tonight?

Yeah. Suppose Anybody hear trumpet blasts? I suppose it could be. I suppose it could be. I I am I almost bought a a yak. You almost born. Sign the end times. The horn. The horn. Dan almost bought a yak horn. Oh, man. I was looking at him. Then I thought, I buy so many things that are stupid, and then I don't ever do anything with them. But I oh, man. This is where you drew the line. That's a conscious choice, man. I feel like that's the easiest thing to do something with is a yacht horn. But I I mean Just hang out.

Oh, it's so cool. Yeah. Yeah. You mean, I I'm upset that you didn't get it. Okay. It's Christmas. It's around the corner. Can still buy myself that. Hats and flannels that you've decided to buy. Yet once you see a zebu horn or the yach horn, you go, My family would be excited when they open that under the tree. This, okay, I'm gonna look right now while you guys are talking. That'd be killer. I'm encouraging of this. I think this is a great idea. Hey. What's the worst, like, have you ever have you ever bought someone a Christmas present and you thought this is gonna be freaking awesome and they're gonna love it and then it totally tanked?

Oh, man. Bought something for somebody that tanked. Yeah. Yeah. I just something for my brother when I was a kid that was really bad. I mean, did you buy him a yacht horn? Well, no, we, we, we had a sister who died like before we were born. Yeah. But she still had toys on our toy box. Like, and I thought it was hilarious. I took a little nurse doll

that was hers, and I wrapped it up and I gave it to my brother. What? I was a kid. Was I was care. And I thought this is gonna be the greatest reaction ever. It was it was talk about Here's our deceased sister's Terrible. Yeah. Who does that? You. I did.

But I won't buy a yacht horn. I don't think any of us have an answer to this question anymore based off of Dan's Sorry. I gave my deceased sister's doll to my brother. Like to schedule a little Daniel for some time with the counselor. Sweet. Oh, man. How young? Like, how young were you? Do you know? Probably third grade or something. Oh, that's way older than I thought you were gonna say. I don't know why I felt like that was a five year old move. Well I was eight year old Dan. Yeah.

That was that was someone who knew 22. Really would've known should've known better. But Right. Sometimes I do things I think are hilarious that no one else thinks is hilarious. And this the yachorn. There we are. Started young. My not in my in my situation, but, like, my my uncle Brad, who was, like, vehemently against Jesus, like, hated Jesus Yeah. And was totally atheist, hated my dad because he loved Jesus,

got my dad this, like, Anglo Saxon, Catholic Jesus

nightlight. Uh-huh. And said, now, you know, Jesus brings light into your life. Now he literally can in any room that you put him in. Mhmm. And he thought it was gonna be the best thing ever and make fun of my dad. My dad was like, I love it. I love this nightlight. And I remember until the day he died,

we had that cathol nightlight in our living room. We put that on every single night. As I recall, he also got him a roller skating Jesus. Yes. Yes. Yeah. He got a roller skating Jesus and then a thing called Buddy Christ, which is From from the dogma. Dogma. Yes. So we had the figurine of Buddy Christ going, hey. Business. I'm gonna get a bunch of

really high grade camera equipment and, like, all these little umbrellas or whatever they use. Uh-huh. And I'm gonna gift them to her because she seems really into this photography photography stuff. Yeah. And she returned it all. Oh, no. But, like, then, like, a week later, she said, yeah. I don't wanna do this. I don't like it that much. What about you? Okay. I was trying to think I I I feel

like I bought an a a small appliance Oh, no. From my wife at some point or another. And, like, I here's this for me.

I I don't even think actually okay. I my wife doesn't listen to the show, so she won't hear it. But, like, this this my kids keep trying to have me buy her an air fryer. Yeah. For Christmas. They're like, she's gonna really like this. I said, look, I cannot buy her an appliance. I just can't. I don't care if it's a good idea. And they're like, well, it can be from us. I'm like, I hear what you're saying. I just It's not how it works. I cannot be involved in an appliance purchase. I've done this before, and I it's it's very vague in my mind what I purchased, but I it it wasn't good. Right. Is it a Vitamix? Yeah. I did I did get her a Vitamix, but that was well received. Oh, was it like a toaster of it? She was excited about that. I don't think I don't remember what it was. Whatever it was, it was ill.

But but now but the premise of my question was you thought it was gonna be whiz bang, and it didn't go well. And I'm pretty sure in the back of my mind, I thought, you do know this is not gonna go well. You have to be better than maybe it's a magic bullet something like that. I'll tell you. Go ahead. Sorry. No, you're good. I did do that to my wife. I forgot about this one because she was pregnant with Danielle, our first child. And she was,

Danielle was born in January. So this December. Right? So she's, she's at the, toward the end and she was just, all she would complain about was how, you know, oh man, I've gained weight, blah, blah, blah, blah, all this And I'm thinking, man, what would a loving husband do, but get her an exercise bike? Oh, no. I got her the best exercise bike on the market. I so excited. I thought, man, I am listening to her. I I am dialed in to what she really wants. Babe, you really wanna get rid of that baby weight ring? We

oh, boy. That I heard about that for years. Oh, I'm super excited to live vicariously through you, so I don't ever make that mistake. Don't do that. Don't. Don't do that. Tell you the the not not to answer your question, but, like, the best Christmas gift I ever got that was one of the funniest things I ever got was my grandmother, my nana, is my dad's mom, when I was maybe 15.

Now we all know that boob is not a small man. Whatever. When I was a teenager, I was also not small. My nana got me a self help book titled uh-oh

in big in big red letters on a green book. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Conversations from both sides of the refrigerator door.

Oh, no. Oh, dear. And she handed this to me with a confidence. That was just on a different level than I had ever seen before.

Hi, sweetie. Here's your Christmas gift. You're gonna love this. I can tell this is a book. I love reading. Maybe my nana got me a fun sci fi book or something that I can really get into. Nope. Uh-oh. Conversations for both sides of refrigerator door. Oh. And it really was a you're too fat and should figure this out self help book. And it wasn't even a good one. Like, it looked like she found it in a discount goodwill bin from, like, 1948

and was just like, yeah. I'm getting my this for my grandson, Troy. Oh. Oh, gosh. When I like, I my dad and mom were looking at me when I opened it up, and, like, I could see that we were all trying to just be normal people and just be like, alright. She's an old woman with no class at all. Like, she's trying to be loving, and this is the only way she can figure it out. But I'm I could not control my laughter as I'm like, this is the I'm gonna have the best fat guy story of all time forever because I have the 15 year old uh-oh book that most people don't get a chance to have because most grandmas are just like, yeah. He knows. He knows. But he doesn't wake up every morning and go, what? When did when did this happen? Like, what? And so, yeah, uh-oh. I still try to find that book every once in a while. I never wanna, like, Google it and buy it off Amazon or anything. I just wanna find it at a Goodwill Would have it see it in the wild. Chuckle on it. Yeah. Exactly. Well, I I feel like does someone make a a wrapping paper with little figurines that have the words I lack discernment on the outside? Just so I would buy it personally. Just so I could hand the gift over and say, I I'm just warning you.

There's a good chance this is gonna hit wrong. I'm not discerning. I'm thinking this is great, but you may not. You you got two minutes of thought and a credit card swipe. Here you go. I'm not a good here's the deal. I'm a good at settling gift quandaries. Like, my wife will will have a you know, will pick out 15 things and go, like, which one of these? And I'm like, I'm great at this. That one. Done. You're killer in a multiple choice. Yes. I know how to answer boxed in questions. But, like Free form. Rough stuff. Try yeah. Just open season. Actually, as we've talked before about trying to build a trying to build a house at some point. And, like, I just can't imagine it's too, it's too much. There's too, it's too much. Like I can, I can look at it? So if you give me like a, a, a, a bare bones house that already exists, it's crumbling apart. Could go, okay, these are my confines. Yeah. I can I can work within this? But if you said, look, open open forum, you can do whatever you want. I've played Minecraft. I I don't use the freedom in Minecraft well. I build still build a big box, a giant box, and then I look at it and go, okay. Now these are my confines. How can I work within these constraints? I work by constraint. I don't do presents within

Nathaniel, would you or would you say, have you improved over the years at gift giving? Yes. I think. I don't know. Yeah. Is that is that yours to say?

I nothing that I've gotten her, I think, as a as a Christmas or birthday gift in my memory other than that has been, like, totally shunned and returned. Okay. Okay. Oh, dang. You know, I didn't give a Christmas gift, but I gave, I think, an anniversary gift to my wife that I thought was was probably one of the more clever and thoughtful things I've ever done. Yeah. Because it was trying to be cutesy because she doesn't really care about, like, if I spend money. She's not super worried about having more stuff. Like, we just don't have room for it. Yeah. And so sometimes and we were we were very broke for the first bit of our marriage, admittedly.

And so it kinda just turned into what's the cutesy thing Troy can do? Like, can I make a nice meal for her or, like, do a cute card or whatever? And I went to I went to, like, a Michaels, and and I got these, like, collect a ticket wooden things that I, like, made coupons on. Right? Yeah. And it was supposed to be these cute little things. Like, here's a coupon for a free thirty minute massage, or here's a coupon for a date night. Well, your choice, fancy or not, whenever you want, redeem it, and I have to do it kind of thing. And there were 12 of them because I wanted to be one for every month of the year, and I thought it was super cute. And I was like, I put a lot of thought into it. They look trash because my handwriting is that of a four year old rhinoceros. Yep. But, like, they were great. And I got this little box to put them in, and I gave them to her. She was like, oh my gosh. I love these. Thank you so much. It's been two years now, and she has not used a single one of those coupons. Oh, yeah. Like, never used them. No. Yeah. They feel guilty. Yep. What? They won't do it. Well, I did it too. I'm gonna be served. Yeah. No. Yeah. The kids got the kids have got me stuff multiple times, and I just I always feel I don't feel right about using them. They're like, hey. We'll clean the living room. Like, I mean, I can clean the living room. Dang it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great idea. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's I thought it was awesome, and it went over killer for about thirty minutes that we never talked about it again until I cleaned off the the junk drawer and went, hey. These are the things that I put a lot of thought into. Actually, do you remember these? And then she's like, yeah. I just I don't know. I just don't like, I just never use it. I think it's I think it's similar to, like, if asking someone having someone tell you when they need help, right, like, after after a medical event or something like that. Like, people just don't tend to volunteer it. Right. You just got I think it's it's it's a similar thing where, like, you're like, oh, man. I really appreciate the thought, but, like, it it feels like you handed them a coupon book and then go now admit you're being selfish when you hand one of these. Weird. It's not what you're after at all. And and may not be even somebody's hang up, but, like, ultimately, I think if if you don't,

you're always at your best option to just do things. I was gonna say, I have to redeem them for Yeah. Yeah. Hey. It's it's Tuesday, massage coupon night. You're turning it in. Dang it. Alright. That's fair. That I'm a do that in 2023. Those are the twelve months. Yeah. I'm gonna do all 12 of them. You had one per month? Well, yeah, I did. Well, so it was just supposed to be, like, one for the whole year because it was anniversary thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Supposed to be a year themed thing. Okay. I think the year or the theme of the year for your first anniversary is, like, wood or something. I don't know. I made the wooden tickets. Don't look at me like that. Wood. You can, by the way, buy the Uh-oh book on Amazon. Yes. You can. $8.99. Hey. That's still real strong. You know what? You shouldn't have told me. You should have just bought it and sent it to our house.

I would show up at the doors there. I'm like, nana. Nana. Nana passed away seven years ago. Uh-oh. Just sign it up, nana. I set this up to be delivered because I knew you're still gonna be pretty rough in '22. Jesus. Figured it out yet, have you?

So I I am interested if anybody if you guys wanna share on the complaint line, (515) 517-0085. Call or text. Let me know one either one. Have you ever bought a gift that you just thought was gonna be righteous and, it it was terrible? Or Tanked. Someone got something for you and you could tell that they thought they nailed it and they did not nail it. I'd be, I'd be interested to hear either one of those things. That's, live from the path complaint line (515) 517-0085.

That's call or text. Right? Call or text. Text. Either one is going to be just fine. It's creepy that you leaned into the microphone and said that I'll quiet like. No. No. It's not. That's how it's supposed to be done. You don't get to tell me whether or not it's creepy. Yeah. No. It's not. Alright. So quick,

quick side story. I was at, well, I've been looking for a, an oven. I don't know what happened. My my my my house fell apart over the last week and a half. No. So like, we're re we, there was a leak underneath our sink. And so, water got kind of everywhere. And so it got into the tile and then it got underneath the the subfloor. So it all had to be replaced. So we pulled all the we got all the stuff churned up. Now there's nice wood floors underneath it except for whatever glue they used to put this,

kind of linoleum on top of it after the house was built. But the house was built, like, in nineteen o eight. So they view it was it's it's full of asbestos is the long and short of it. So you gotta be careful about taking it out. Right? Like, you can't just go in there with a with a hammer and just start tearing it up. So anyway, I finally get the, the place torn up. We're moving our fridge in and out so that I can replace the sub floor back there. And then I don't know if you guys ever have hooked up or seen a, a water line that goes to your ice maker for the fridge, but it tends to be a real bendy piece of copper. And so if it's bent already, you leave it. Yeah. You don't unbend because you've probably, although like it got irritated one way you try to put it back, it's gonna put a hole in it. So I knew this.

My wife did not, and it was, like, two in the morning. And so she goes, oh, this is bent, and then start to unbend it. And you could see me slow motion. No. So she unbends it whole. K. So now now there's water. There's gonna be water dripping from this thing. And so I got to take, you got to unhook it. Now, again, if you've ever hooked up a, something to your water line, it's like this thing that you twist in that pokes like a hole in the copper.

And so I didn't have a concept of this. I think I could have handled this much better, but at the time I thought like, well, I better, mean, I gotta take it out of there. Right. And so I take that because otherwise it's just going to keep sending water through the, the bent pipe. And so I take it off and now there's obviously a hole in the water pipe. And so long story short, I have no water. I tried to patch it with some, with some putty. Don't laugh at me. Tried I to put some putty on it. I said, this is gonna hold me for a while, held for about twenty minutes, and then started shooting water everywhere. At the same same time, same day, there's guys trying to remediate radon at my house because, like, our radon is just outrageous. There's kids growing tails and things at my house. And so we're getting the radon remediated. Moving a stove in and out for the same purpose. Something happens. Well, they go to plug it back in, and there's, a spark. And now, like, the top of the stove works, but the oven does not. K?

Also, the dryer stopped drying. Good heavens. It just it stops. Good heavens. It stopped drying. And so, like, the water and the oven were out at the same time. And so my wife and my wife was out Christmas shopping and, like, I don't like to bother. She she doesn't leave the house very often on her own. Yeah. And so, like, for no reason do I try to contact my wife when she's out? I say, you leave her. She needs to think that things are going just fine here. Nobody texts or anything. And so we're like getting water from the well to try so that we can so that we we can, like, wash potatoes, cooking them. Try try to cook them for a family of six and an Insta pot. I was rough. It was rough. It was a rough COVID. So anyway, I'm trying to sort out all that. I got a part coming for the dryer. I got a, I I I replaced

the section of the waterline that I needed to replace, but I'm out looking for a, for an oven. Yeah. Cause I tested this oven because I think I'm going to use my skills. I got one of those Nathaniel's. I got the multimeter. I'm like checking the lines. I said, beep, beep, you know, things going to run. And so I everything checks out. I for the life of me, I can't figure out what the problem is except for maybe this main computer on the oven. And so I order a new one for or a refurb from the eBay. I said, fine. I'm just gonna swap it out. $35, pick it up. I put it in nothing. Same behavior. I said, I can't do it. It's it's Christmas time. It's baking season. The oven's gotta run. Okay. So I'm out. So I'm out about I'm looking at Scratch and Dents. You guys see my text from earlier today? Yeah. Did. K. The Lowe's is the place to go for the Scratch and Dents. Anyway Wait. You said Lowe's? Lowe's. Alright. Good. Lowe's. Ain't there a store called Scratch and Dent? Yes. I went I tried to go there. They're closed on Mondays. This is what I'm saying. They work like Italians. Like, they're not they're not like an Italian restaurant. They're not there on Mondays.

Italian restaurants are tend to be closed Sunday, Monday. It's not an ethnic slur. Okay. (515) 517-0085. That's on par with Mike's. I mean, what?

Our Italian restaurants are not closed on Mondays. They are. I mean, I go to the Olive Garden. They're open Monday. They're not Italian. The Outback Steakhouse being Australian. Anyway, keep going, babe. Anyway, I'm looking for scratchy den appliances today. I went to two different Lowe's and the first two like, they had something I wanted, but one would look like it was taken and the other one was ugly, but it was reasonably priced. So I'm going go to one more Lowe's. Got to one more Lowe's. This is before the show tonight. And I go in there and there's like nobody on the floor, nobody on the shop floor. And so I'm looking around and

I'd like start checking And I finally find one red shirted individual, like four aisles down. And I said, I went I went to go ask him, say, can you call someone over to the appliance area? And the guy looks at me and goes, can't do it. I'm like, what do mean you can't do it? Can you help me then in the compliance area? He goes, no, man. I gotta cover the whole store. I can't do it. Like, I, this is not making any sense to me. Why would you have to cover the whole store? I just need someone to help me with the scratch and dent appliance. And he goes, everybody left. I said, what do you mean? There's no way. I thought it was the weather because the weather's bad. And he goes he so I suggested as such. Oh, they said the weather getting bad. Everybody gotta head out. He goes, no, man. No. The pope is in town. Who? I said the pope. That happens all the time. I said, there's no way the pope is in town. That's just not possible. Right. And he goes, look. I'm the only non Catholic guy here. He goes, I worship horses.

I don't even believe in a God that looks like a human. It's like, like a Pegasus looking thing. I didn't ask a lot of questions. I had bigger problems, bigger fish to fry. I can't fry them because I don't have another. Anyway, he goes, I said, tell me more about this Pope thing. I need some help. And he goes, I believe they went to this, this place. He wrote down, had the address and I looked at the address and I mean, I'll be the movie. You'll never guess it. You never guess it where the Pope is at. Where's he at? It's in Nathaniel's house. What I saw, I saw the address and I said, and it's Nathaniel even has moved recently.

I don't know if the pope, maybe he was trying to visit whoever was there before, but, but I don't know. But anyway, Nathaniel's house is a Basilica now. It said that the pope is there. So I went, so I went to Nathaniel's house and there were like all kinds of people waiting out on his lawn and it's cold. And I must've seen 28 red vests. Like the whole Lowe's from this area was out on Nathaniel's lawn. And I said, holy cats. So the Pope, I went to I I Nathaniel let me in. I said, what's going on here, man? He goes, I think the pope is here. I said, is the pope legit here? He's like, no, man. Nope. No way.

I said, how are gonna get these people to go away? He said, I gotta give him some sort of pope style advice. I gotta tell him something like, like the pope would walk out on the balcony, give them a piece of advice, something that seems like relevant to me and relevant to them, and then they'll then they'll leave because the pope spoke. And so that's what I'm gonna do. I said, okay. What Nathaniel, what did you tell? What I said was because I told him a tale. I told I told him a a real fine tale. A parable? A pair a parable. Okay.

Well, a tale of a few months ago, I was at work, and I it was a gusty day across the the Midwestern Plains, and the wind was blowing something fierce.

And there's a sign outside of the, building that I work at, and it's a, giant, blue smile of sorts. And, I was notified because I'm in, building maintenance,

that the sign looked like it was falling off of the building. And so, I went out there to check, and sure enough, the sign, you could see two of the two of the bolts that were supposed to have the sign in the building were out of the building. And so I said, okay. It's time to pony up and get in the lift.

And well, first, I had to talk to safety because the wind gusts were over 30 miles per hour, and they wanted to make sure I was gonna not fall out of the bucket. Yeah. And I didn't.

So we after much deliberation, we took the the lift up there. And I got up underneath that that sign, and I looked across it.

And there's about 15 bolts that are supposed to be holding this in. Yep. And, there are three that are still holding it on the wall. And the first thing I thought was I should probably get out from underneath of this because, the next strong gust that comes on is gonna tip my my lift over. Uh-huh. As this 800 pound sign falls on top of me. And my next thought was, you know, this is a great pope style advice. Yeah.

Yeah. You may think, how could that be a pope style advice? Uh-huh. Right. Three concrete bolts. And I thought to myself, in an in an organization, in any sort of group of people, just three dudes holding on, doing the right thing,

it can make a big difference. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And I've actually found that out recently. I've I've had some, you know, somewhat of a a family health crisis,

would you call it? Yeah. And out of the, you know, the the the people in my life, there's been, you know, just a few people that have without them, I'd be I'd be in a world of hurt. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so this is only the second time I've ever done a Pope style. And the first time was also very short. Short. Sweet. You know, I'm not a blowhard like the rest of these fellas.

That's fair. That that cuts me deep and righteous. Yeah. Half the time, Ben's introduction of the pope style ends up being long in the pope. The irony is missed on you, sir. The irony is is missed on you. Go ahead, Nathaniel. Yeah. You're a blowhard too. What I'm saying is

sometimes in the past, I felt like, you know, not most times at work where people are like I look around and I say, I'm the only one doing some good things around here.

And I shouldn't really, one, put you down because if you're the only one doing something good, then just keep on doing it. Right. Because maybe you're the only one holding things together. Who knows? Right. You're probably not. There's probably other people doing stuff too. Yeah. So don't pat yourself on the back too hard, but just keep doing the good work. Uh-huh. And then also when it comes to, you know you know, family stuff and spiritual stuff, sometimes it's hard to just keep going when you feel like you're not making a whole lot of progress or gains. Yep.

When you know? Who knows? Maybe you're the the the dude who's just holding it together. You just gotta keep plugging away. Uh-huh. Just keep holding on. Holding the 800 pound sign up. Because if you don't, could kill someone. Dropping the heavy at the end there. Yeah. I you know, you know, I I think there's there's a lot to be said for that. There's a lot to be said for, like, feeling like you have to own the entire context of your effectiveness

when you don't. Like and then it's it's a fair thing because often we wanna, like, we wanna answer an internal question, which is is am I making any difference? Does it matter the things that I do, whether it's a work thing, whether it's a relationship thing, whether it's a kingdom thing, either way, we're like, is it is is what I do matter?

But, like, I I think it's it's a good point to say, like, some of that's a perspective that's just beyond you. Like, you wouldn't know whether that's whether that's true or not. And, like, oftentimes the things where it feels like you're not are the types of things you can touch, where the the intangibles where you're impacting people positively or holding down the fort. Like if you're the one bolt, you may not know that the other 10 are loose on the other side. Right. Like you may or may not know that. And so like, is something about just being a, being the old steady Eddie

during a strong gust, not knowing that you're actually even carrying much more than what you'd expect. But without without your effort and your kind of without the steadfastness,

things could've gone much worse. Side vault. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I I think there is there's an encouragement in that. Just to also, the so I don't know why it came up in my my my brain when I was looking at these things, but I was like, you know, no one has ever thought about these bolts before. Mhmm. No one no one has walked in and applauded these bolts and said, you know, thank you three bolts. Thank you. Yeah. And most of the time, you know, you're just looking for a little pat on the back, you know, a little pat on the head. Yep. And you don't get it, and you feel down. Uh-huh. And you're just a you're a Boltman. Yeah. You know Holding on there. I think that's that's actually super important.

And if if if you're keeping a notebook, I know half of you are. So this is this is for your Ben's notebook. Things Ben says you should focus on in 2023 from Ben. Is is saying is being thankful being thankful

for the the work of the bolt. Is that, like, sometimes it feels like we have to be thankful for, like, above and beyond.

But, like, to take as the Bolt as an example, like, it can't do more than what it like, it's just doing what it's supposed to do, and it's and that's what it's supposed to do. That's how it impacts the world. And, like, I think as humans, especially the closer relationships we get into, we have expectations out of people, and we only notice or say anything when they've gone either gone above and beyond them significantly or if they failed them. But, like, there's there's no there's no acknowledgment of steadfastness

without which is a failure to recognize that in a stiff gust of wind, it takes something to be steadfast. It it takes something to hold a consistency when the environment around you is shifting and when the people and relationships around you are shifting. Like, it's it's there is something to that for someone not to notice. And and and it's it's not it's easy to miss. It's easy to miss

because it your your day to day normal things start to interact with other people's normal things. And you for you neglect to realize that normal takes effort or consistent takes effort. Probably right. Better way to say it. So anyway, like, I mean, if you could be if we could just be people in in 2023 who are, like, just grateful,

we're full of gratitude. And we look around the and even for things that are assumed or expected and like, am I grateful this morning that my car started? Am I grateful this morning that I've that I actually got to see the same person at the same gas station for six weeks in a row? Like, what? A, it's a friendly face. It's a known face. I'm glad they're here. I'm glad I hear, and I got to see them. Like, there is a, there's a quote that I would screw up, but it just like the it was talking about the effectiveness of prayer, and there was a combination of kind of earnestness, humility, and gratitude. Like, because where you're not grateful for things, you actually tend to miss ways in which God has moved in your life because you you presumed them.

Like like, you're owed some of those things. And so, like, being able to be have gratitude for, yes, all those external things, but, like, think of think of the million things that my wife does in a given day or week that that never gets any acknowledgement from me. Cause I'm like, well, that's my wife. That's that's what she does. And like vice versa, like fellas, like maybe, maybe you've got things generally speaking, you're the garbage man. You haul the stuff out to the garbage. Do you need someone following you around all the time going, that's a great job, man. That's a way to go putting that garbage in. Probably not all the time. But, like, you tell me once every three months, six months, someone, you know, a wife or even a, heaven forbid, a child goes, you know, dad, I see you always grab that garbage. Thanks for taking care of that for us. Like, you you would sail on a single compliment for months because someone just acknowledged something that you did that otherwise generally goes by. And so and I I remember thinking, you know, sometimes in in my marriage where I felt like, man, I just feel like I can't get anything right, and no one acknowledges any like, like, maybe my wife doesn't notice that I've even do any I'm trying to do them for her, and she doesn't even seem to notice. And then that that it always hits me right after that. It's like, when is the last time you did you say something to your wife?

Like, they what what are all the like, are you giving the thing that you're needing? Don't you think she probably needs? Don't you think the people that you work with or for probably could use some of that too? Don't you think the person at the all the different places you interact with or your church family? Like, I mean, this is just this is helpful. Do you just get a little bit of a sales if someone goes, hey, man. Thanks for being you and doing the stuff that you do. I I just I feel like it's just an easy lift

to to be looking for that kind of thing. And so maybe I I I let that put your pope style advice. Just it reminds me of how important that is and how easy I get real jazzed about it, and then I let it go. It's gone again because, again, I just have a presumption of how my life is supposed to work. That guy's It's that guy's job to bring the mail to me.

I mean, of course it is, but, like, aren't I thankful for it? I don't have to go drive and get mail. Stuff just shows up at my house. Like, I'm thankful. Even, like, the app review, I I can deposit checks on my phone. That's that's I mean, they've been able to do it for years. Right? But, I mean, every once in while, I feel like I can just go to the app developer and go, hey. This is great. Thank you. Thanks for making this available. Like, it's just it's just a gratitude as opposed to just presumption about about what my life is to be like and and recognize that there's people and effort and time behind all the things that I expect is normal.

You don't cash your check via the app, boob? I do sometimes. Just very interesting to go, hey, mailman, who I'm right next to. I appreciate what you're doing. Hey, app developer that has worked on my USA Bank app. Here's

a four star review. Hey. Great job. No. Like, in hold those things is the same thought. It just it made me laugh. It's it's It makes sense. It just made me laugh. It's an all around gratitude. Get off my lawn. Cool. Sounds like we had two popes here. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad you showed up from the from the Lowe's to help me out with this. Yeah. You're welcome. You know how short winded I am. Yeah. Mean, historically, there has been a time where there were two popes. It was pretty rough, but it happened. No. So I'm a cardinal. It's like cardinal Foose. Pope Carson. Cardinal Foose

tag team. Oh, boy. Oh, man. Alright. Stuff. Alright. Thanks for hanging out with us. Hey. I I don't know. Maybe you guys are thinking ahead on, 2023, and you've got maybe I'd be interested to hear not just the thing that you thought of, may but, like, I don't know if you've been you've been just thinking ahead and praying ahead and say, you know, I think God's

drawing this to my attention. And, like, the first of the year is arbitrary, but it's a good place to start as any on some stuff. And so I don't know. I would just be interested if you guys wanna share that with us. You can, again, live from the path complaint and or counsel line. (515) 517-0085. Call or text. Be glad to hear from you, and, we'd just be interested in what you, not don't even think put in the bucket of formality of New Year's resolution, but, hey. I feel like God's stirring this kind of this thing as a reminder for me because, maybe other people can benefit from it. We'd love to hear it and then maybe share if if we have your permission. Dig it. Okay. Well, let's give out some advice. Alright.

Dear life of the path, my husband of two and a half years was having an affair with a much younger woman for what I believe was about two months. I never suspected. It ended because he got caught. I was devastated and asked him to leave that night. He always seemed uninterested in sex. And when we had sex, it was quick. He had difficulty performing, so, of course, blah blah blah. Mhmm. We went to marriage counseling, which didn't help. I decided to stay with him, but I'm miserable. I can't get over the fact that he cheated, and I bring it up all the time. I no longer trust him and wonder why I stay. I love him, and I don't I and I don't at the same time. I feel stuck.

I was married before, and I feel like a failure. I'm in good physical shape, financially successful and loving. What went wrong? I always felt he was hiding something, but he swears he wasn't. He says this was the first time he's cheated on a woman. He was confused. I wish I had the courage to leave, but I feel I but I feel defeated because I just turned 60. Please help. Well, that's a big

that's a big bucket of stuff Yeah. To be honest, that I I feel like we can't possibly do justice in a response in a in a forum like this because, like, there's a million

there's a million questions in there. But maybe if I can help with a few different things, we'll see if this this you know, gets get some things started. Somebody somebody cheating on you is always it's always them.

It's always them. Mhmm. Know, them not wanting to be around, you know, in relationship, in intimacy with you. Mean, maybe that's you. Maybe you got a terrible attitude, they just don't feel loving towards you. I mean, that's possible. But, like, the the being with somebody else, that's entirely on them. There is you do not have to consider what you may have done or driven someone to. Like, they own they own that completely. And so it's hard

because you want it to make sense. You wanna be able like, sometimes even when things hurt, you'd rather they make sense and hurt than not make sense because, like, confusion actually amplifies problems like that. And so I get it. But, like, one of the things that was is helpful in a situation like this one is to is to do your very best, and you said you're gonna have to write it down and look at it because some your mind's not gonna wanna cooperate on some of this stuff. But, like, be able to stare and say, look. Their cheating is was is not my fault. It's not my responsibility. I did not cause them to cheat. I I bear no responsibility here. There may be a thousand other relationship things of which you may be responsible for in your own marriage, but I want you to, like, do your very best to draw a line here

because a person can cannot be in intimacy with you and still not step out of their marriage. And so that that that's on them. So and and I get that that that doesn't feel like necessarily it's relieving something, but, like,

I I I you wanna treat you wanna treat your relationship issues for what they are and, like, bringing another because, like, when you start thinking about the actual what's what happened with somebody else, you're you're muddying waters. I know it doesn't feel that way, but, like, who the other person was, how long it went on, what what they did, what they were thinking about, how he felt about it, doesn't matter. It just isn't that's not as relevant than the things that are right in front of you on what is the health of your relationship. The second thing would be, and this is good. This is super difficult, but, like, you have you have no shot at at finding and staying in or staying in, a a a marriage

of which you're gonna bring this up all the time. Yeah. Now you need to work through it. I did you did she say counseling? Did they go to counseling and it's not helping? No. I don't think they said anything about counseling yet.

Okay. I thought she I thought she had said Oh, yes. We went to marriage counseling, which didn't help. Excuse me. I decided to stay with him, but I'm miserable. Yeah. I mean, I kinda I I'd ask why it didn't help, and I would encourage you to like, this this is not sustainable. Like, something has if it didn't help, then you either need to find someone else or one of you needs to change your attitude about this counseling or something. But, like, you're not going to be able to you're both gonna be miserable. It's all get out. If the rest of his life,

he feels like he's trying to to do penance for something. I mean, he broke something, and it's gonna like, he's going to have to work to reestablish trust. That's definitely true. But, like, if you're gonna you're not going to be able to say, yes. I wanna move on if every day, every other day, every week, you're not move actually trying to move on from it. You're just kinda bringing it back in there. That's just he's not gonna be able to recover from that. Right. It's just not it's not reasonable. Like, this is where this is where biblical forgiveness is just so wild freaking radical.

It's just so outrageous in a situation like this because the biblical the way that Jesus looks at forgiveness here doesn't even just go, hey. I want to forgive. He goes, I want to relieve pain from someone who caused pain to me.

And, like, it's it's I it's outrageous. I hear you. That's why Jesus walks the earth and does these things so that we can our notion of forgiveness doesn't fall lower than his human example where we go, that much, that's what you're talking about, And it is. It means that, like, when you say something is cleaned up and, like, that we're we can move past this, you can't keep it in your back pocket. You can't bring it out all the time. You can't mention it to him, like and just, oh, but remember when you cheated on me. Like, it just it just isn't gonna work. And so, like, if you if you guys are trying to move on from it, you actually have to commit to moving on from it. You can't keep living on that, which may mean that you need to do separate counseling for you on working through what that means. Because just because I'm saying it and just because it makes sense and just because it's true does not make it easy. But I but I I will tell you that there's no way that your marriage is successful or ever comes into a place that both of you can enjoy

if that is still looming as a shadow. It actually has to be it has to be dealt with. That's where I'd start. Dan, what are your thoughts?

Yeah. I don't know that I'd expand any on that. I think it's pretty key areas there. Forgiveness is key. You want it to continue, you have to forgive. You're causing yourself pain and him. And, I mean, granted he started it, but, you know, you have, you have to, to work through that.

You guess you just have to do so that the, the, the struggle here is biblically you do have the option to leave. I mean, he did, he was unfaithful. But is that what you really, apparently that's not what she wants because she's there. She kicked him out, but then let him back in. It sounds like,

so yeah, they, they, they just need to work on reconciliation and what that looks like and how that feels and, and, figure out what caused it in the first place that, why, why would he do that? He's old enough to know better. You know, that they they they're neither one of them are young. They they've been around the block a couple of times. So, yeah, we're working this out.

Yeah. And I would say like, I would prepare for, but like, I think what you need to know, is is is is he also committed? She didn't say, I guess, is he committed to staying in this marriage? Is he stay and But he is. He's there. I mean Yeah. He's present, and they went to counseling. I mean, is it because he doesn't have anywhere else to go? I don't know. I mean, it'd be hard to put up with all the, Hey, you remember what you did? It's like, I mean, at some point you're like, yeah, I'm out. Yeah. And I would say this and like, I, this is tough to hear. I'm sure. But like, can't you can't stay in there, him just out of guilt either. Right. Like, I'm just if the the question isn't like, you're never going to here's here's here's the the sad part of it. Nothing is ever gonna set this right. No amount of contrition on this man's part is gonna take away the fact that it happened. It just is not. That's that's true for sin in general. Now let it roll to a microcosm sitting in this marriage. And so, like

and you as a as a person on the other side of this thing, it's it's going to feel good at times to see him feel crappy and feel guilty, but I'm it just it is not the road to a healthy marriage. If you want if you want something back that all just has the possibility to be better and stronger than it was, it just does, it starts with the fact that, like, you you you cannot base it upon, well, now I have I have this over him, and he looks and feels guilty, and I can use it whenever I want to. That's not a healthy marriage, and it never will be. And it can't it it doesn't it doesn't start now and get better. It just does not grow from there. It dies there. And so I know what sorry. This is just on my mind because I think we were just talking through it recently when we were talking through some of the beatitudes and just

the notion of peace and the notion of mercy and forgiveness, it's way more than you think, and it's hard. It's hard work because it it it turns over control for what has hurt you over to Jesus and says, not only do I expect him to take care of it, but I I also am absolving myself of be having to be the recompense for it. I don't push I don't push thumbs and wounds to teach people lessons. God does judgment, and God does I think God can use guilt. I think that's but I think it's his realm. It's not a people realm to do. God can lay burdens on people's hearts that they that because he won't let go of them to get them to, like, to come to attention.

Absolutely. But humans, I think we can't handle it. I think we can't handle the right judgment part, and I think we cannot handle guilt correctly. And so I don't deal in it. Well, I try my best. I'm bad at actually, this is this one place I catch myself. I I'll do it, and I don't even wanna do it, but I'll notice it myself. And so I'm just what I'm saying is is that, like, it can't be, do I feel like I have the upper hand in this relationship? That's not a healthy marriage. If you want a healthy marriage, you're gonna have to figure out how to work on what is true between the two of you going forward

and and use this as a springboard to correct the things that otherwise made him feel justified in this. He's wrong, like I said, but there are there have to be some relationship. Well, actually, I take that back. Oftentimes, and this is true for like, it's it's more often, I think, for men than for women, although I'm open to being wrong about this. But, like, sometimes guys just I mean, they they don't even have anything. They're just they just followed an urge somewhere and acted stupid

and acted foolishly. And, like, women, I I think, often want like, there's something deeper. What what did I need to change about myself? What went wrong in our marriage? And, like, there's just some guys in some situations where, like, there's just nothing you could have done. They they weren't even they're not rebelling against something. They're not turning from something wrong that you were or are or did, or they're not even unhappy. They're just wrong. And it's it's hard to conceive

that people can behave this way, but it is men. We're just they're just prone to wrongness Yeah. And foolishness. And so I but I I'm guessing that there's some things that even outside of this probably need repaired or have before this even happened in the marriage. And so those are the things to focus on. I I I know the the the cheating part seems like the big thing, but the reality is if you care about the future,

I would I would try to without moving I'm trying to be sensitive here that I'm not just saying it's not nothing, but, like, you're you're gonna have to be able to to commit to moving past it. Otherwise, you just won't move past it. Yeah. Okay.

Alright. Secular says, you are not a failure. Your husband is. The surest way to find out what went wrong and begin rebuilding your self esteem would be to discuss the this entire scenario by yourself with a licensed marriage and family therapist. The reasons you haven't left this marriage may be that you are self conscious about your age or think nothing is worse than being alone. Life does not end at 60, and this is worse than being alone. Yeah. I I've had had that that that answer that guidance has no hope in it. Right. And I I I don't know enough to know whether that's the case, but I mean, there's there's always hope. Yeah. That's a coroner report waiting to happen is all there. Yeah. Yeah.

Just I I think God, some of this stuff is is debilitating and, like, what it does to people and how they think about themselves is very dead. This that's why I started where I started is that, like, it's just as much as you can see and think of again, put it on paper. This is not I'm not responsible for this. This person makes their own decisions. Like, it's very difficult not to feel like it's at you. Right. Because it feels like they're cheating not just with someone else, but against you. I've just I'm I'm just trying to create some space for man behavior that sometimes it ain't it ain't even remotely against you. It's It's just flat out selfish. I find that with just just talking with various fellows, to be honest, about pornography. Same deal. It's not they're not unhappy. They they're not unsatisfied in their sex lives. They're not struggling

with, like, they don't like their wife or they're not attracted to their wife. Like, it's not that. It's it's just something else. It's a curiosity. It's a selfishness. It's a like, something other than that. And, I mean, some of those fellows could not have been being honest, but, like, it's it's a pretty consistent pattern. Right. And so I I think it it goes into the realm of cheating as well. Okay. You want another one? Yeah. Let's do it. Dear, live from the path. I am a 55 year old male with five siblings ranging from 45 to 63 years of age. I'm the only one who is single. I don't live close to any of them, although they've lived reasonably close to each other. I'm in regular contact with all of them and see them at least once a year. My issue is that I'm tired of hearing about all their family drama.

They all seem to be upset with one family member or another for whatever ridiculous reason. How can I remind them that having each other around is a blessing? Living alone on the other side of the country is admittedly very lonely. I plan on retiring in the next couple of years and had always thought I'd move closer to them, but now I'm afraid of becoming one of the pawns in there who are we all mad at this month game. Any advice? You don't have to participate.

It can't be that easy. I mean There's no way it could be that easy. Live. Yeah. I mean, it's yeah. I wouldn't let that stop you from moving.

Yeah. If you wanna move, move. But Yeah. Yeah. This is the thing that stops it. That's that's fine too. And if you don't want to, then come up with a better reason. Yeah. Right. Oh, I like the weather here. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. Be a snowbird in Florida. Yeah. Yeah. There's always drama. There's families have drama and there's lots of family members and you

just, you know, you don't have that. So you're great. You're blessed that way, but you don't have to participate. It's really that simple. It really is. I can't think of a, you know, anything deeper. Just don't, just don't when they start doing the drama, just say, yeah, I really I'm, I'm not interested. Thanks. I mean, I like Joe and, so I don't need to hear anything that's gonna make me think otherwise. Yeah. I use the subject. Yeah. That's it is diff actually, this goes to something we were talking about just before the show started. Is it like, it's hard to be a a person in a situation

where people are trying to stir up drama and to and to hold the line and just go it gets awkward. Right? Because, like, sometimes just drama loves company, just like Missouri. And and and people, like, some especially when it comes to families,

they tend to, like, one up each other on who's got the most drama siblings. And you're like, it's it's okay. Yeah. It's okay to bail. And but here's where I'd be careful is that, like, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Just don't participate in the drama. Right. You know, stick to questions that you know aren't drama things. Hey. How is so and so doing? And whatever. And then once it secures into drama, it goes, okay. Well, I you know, I'll be honest. I don't really care about that part. Like, it's it's okay. People will catch on eventually

that you're not here for drama. And that's true everywhere. I mean, at work, the the neighborhood gossip, the I mean, any any setting where there's people, they're gonna there's gonna be people who want drama, and you can completely choose to just Yeah. Not play the game. Yeah. It drives them nuts when you do it, but it's fine. Yeah. It's fine. It's fine. Put that fence up and hold it. It's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it feels and and it feels, like people who are doing that, it tends to be, you know, more personal type of information,

and it feels like you're rejecting something sensitive to, like, not engage in that conversation. But, like, it's just you just don't have to if it's not fruitful for them and it's not fruitful for you, then you don't have to feel like you you don't have to do it. And people will be offended by that. Like, just be prepared that, like, oh, so and so was standoffish to me or someone so doesn't ever, like, have deep conversations with me. But, like, have to be comfortable in your own reality to be able to say, no. I I I just rejected getting in the middle of a conversation of which I don't belong and which is not healthy and which is either straight up gossip or drama, and I'm not gonna do it. It's And you're gonna have to be okay with it, and it's hard. I've been on the other side of it. Hard. Yeah. And you're not being unloving by not being willing to do that. You're actually being loving by not being willing to be in conversations that are destructive and that will that are just causing fires. Yes. You know? Yep. That's all it is. So So, yeah, it's okay. Just do your best. I like, have as healthy of a relationship as you will. Don't don't, miss out on these relationships and, with people just because of that type of behavior, but just, know where your line's at. Draw it and keep it. I dig it.

Secular says, few families are completely free of issues, but successful ones manage to maneuver around them. Reminding your siblings how fortunate they are to have each other so close geographically should be raised privately with each of them You can explain your reasons for saying it. It might be the wake up call they need. Use the next two years to decide where you wanna live without being too close and plan on cultivating relationships outside the family through activities you do enjoy so you are not completely dependent on them. Yeah. I don't I'm I'm a little bit hesitant that the proximity is that big of a deal. Like, unless you're living in their basement or next door, if you're if you're even five minutes away, what do you think they're all gonna get together in the drama bus and come to your house and knock them over? Town and not see somebody. It's not that hard nowadays. Totally. Really not. Yeah. Yeah. Heck. I mean, you could live you could live next door to someone and still not run into them all the time. Yeah. DoorDash a lot, and there's a bunch of delivery for groceries. You never have to run into each other at the fairway. Yeah. Yeah. I just yeah. I I'm not so much worried about the proximity. I think you need to set the boundaries wherever you're at. Absolutely. Phone, you know, holidays, whatever. Just hold them and keep them. Yep. Okay. Let's do one more. Okay. One more.

Dear, lie for the path. While my sister was incarcerated, she was evicted from her her residence. Yeah. She asked me if I would pack her belongings and store them for her in my garage for a couple of weeks until she got out Okay. Which I did. Well, a couple weeks turned into a couple of months. Always does. She's out she's out now living here and there and looking for a job or a permanent place to stay. In the meantime, her belongings are still in my garage.

It's taking up considerable space and starting to smell. What? I need to prep my house as I plan on selling it in the near future. I constantly ask about her removing her belongings and what her plans are, but she doesn't seem concerned about them and no longer communicates with me. During our last conversation, I gave her two weeks to get a place to move them or I would dispose of them. She said she'd get back to me but hasn't.

She doesn't seem to wanna get a job or take responsibility for herself or her stuff. I feel she's being inconsiderate and selfish. I know she has some keepsake and items in the boxes. I hate to dispose of them, but I cannot store her stuff much longer. What should I do? Okay. I I think there's well, hold on. I have some thoughts. What do you guys think?

A selfish person. Yard sale? But there's keepsakes, Nathaniel. Well, I mean, what are we talking about here? Like, photo albums? Precious moments and photo albums.

Yeah. No one's gonna buy those at a yard sale anyway. So just you know, if it's like one album, keep it. You know? Hang on to it for when the old sis gets her life up back on track. And

if it's like a bunch of photo albums, like, she doesn't need all that anyways. So keep the good ones. Nathaniel's trying to take a very logical approach to this. Draws rest. He draws a hard line. Yeah. It's like get that stuff out of your garage. Like, have stinks. You have summer ninety seven and summer ninety nine. You don't need summer ninety eight too. Yeah. Exactly. He barely changed. I

mean, if you grew a foot during that that month or summer, maybe keep it. But Interesting. You know? Okay. I wanna know what's what's smelly. Is it food? Is it is it clothes? I mean, get rid of all that stuff. Get rid of the or any organic matter. But, you know, you can you can hold on to some keepsakes. I can't be that much. Set up for two seasons now. Well, I this is kinda weird. Like,

the first thing I thought of when she said it's starting to stink was is most likely the other direction. Like, her stuff my garage is starting to cause her stuff to smell like a garage. Right. Otherwise, it doesn't start to stink after a few weeks. Like, it either stunk when it got there. That comfort or wet moldy. Yeah. Right. That bag of potatoes.

Why did you pack the cottage cheese? It's a weird deal. You just throw that away. Yeah. Okay. Ben, what are your thoughts? Okay. So I think there are there are there are multiple things that are true at the same time in here that that can go together. The first one is I'm confident that this person is overreacting about the spay about the space in the garage. It's a considerable amount. She's just itchy. She just is

is worried. She's still unused. Yes. That's right. She's feeling used, but it's not what is she walking into the garage every day and go, I can't believe this stuff is it? Like, it's just it's probably not inconveniencing her to Dan's point. Yes. She's feeling used, and she's feel like she's being taken advantage of, and she doesn't she feels like she's being disrespected. And so she's she's created an arbitrary urgency. Like, I'm going to put my house on the market soon.

I'm sure. In the near future. Yeah. Whatever. And so she's amping that up to try to push something that this nonchalant, irresponsible sister of hers is not particularly worried about. So one, she's overreacting. Two, she has every right to say, you can't keep your stuff at my place. Right. She can do, like, every right to do that.

I would say, however, if you know that your sister is not in the right mind, let's say you're just the more logical party. You're the more thoughtful party. You got your life together. Sometimes it is behooves you to protect people from themselves. And so,

like, I I've I've been in situations well, actually, very similar situations. Like, I've constantly had people's stuff stored somewhere at my house and, like, you know, I had to walk by it and go, this stuff is still sitting here. Now where where is it at? In my basement, on the side of the garage, it's not bothering me at all, to be honest, except for this person is taking advantage and not caring that they're been that they are using up spaces, and it sucks, and it's irritating. But, like, I also know if this person is is kind of the situation that she's explaining, could be drug use, could just be flat out irresponsibility. Like, that's some five years down the road, ten years down the road when they get themselves clean and straightened out, are they gonna regret having not held on to something? Probably.

And if you know that, can't you just do it for them? Can't you go, look. I'm not keeping your old bed stand, and I don't care about these blankets. These things you're gonna care about whether you realize it or not. And so because I love you, I'll go I'm gonna probably move them out to garage. I'll put them in the basement, and that's where I'm gonna put them. That's good. And so you can do both. It's okay to draw a hard line if you want to, but, like, I'd I'd I'd just go ahead and keep some things that, you know, you're protecting them from. And then things that are just they're just junk. You know? If if you think there's a reasonable trajectory that they're going to leave, then then I'd hold on to them as long as you possibly can. If they're not that really bothering you. If you think they're just jacking around and they're never gonna come get the stuff, then, I mean, it's okay to put them to it and go, hey. I'm gonna get rid of this stuff. You got two weeks. And after two weeks, get rid of it. It's okay. It's okay. Because, like, here's the thing. Most of most folks who are living that kind of transient stuff, like, they they

probably should get new stuff anyway. Right. Like, their stuff isn't very good. And so, like, there's no reason to hold on to it. And so if you care about it, come get it. If not, I'm gonna get rid of it. And then they're probably like, I actually probably don't care, and it's fine. True. And for the wayward family member, you gotta realize that that bed frames and nightstands are a lot easier to get than you think. Like, toss it, and and in five years when they come to you and go, hey. Do you still have my stuff? You go, no. But, like, we can go to Goodwill real quick. I'll get back I'll help you. Anything that I threw away. That's right. Yeah. I knew you were gonna be on the on the bender for a little while, so I tossed this deal. Yeah. I I kept all your keepsakes. They're in a shed or they're, you know, they're downstairs in the basement in the corner that I don't like to look at. But Yep. You know, when it comes to the mattress that was gonna be gross by the time you got back to it, it's gone. Yeah. We'll get you a new one. No worries. Yeah. And, like, even if you can even take an intermediate step if you have to and go, look. I'm gonna go I'm gonna move it. I'm gonna go put it in a storage locker. I'm gonna pay for two months. Yeah. After that, like, they now it's kind of out of your hands because after two months, if you don't pay, like, they'll just take it and sell it to somebody else. Right. And so you don't even have to it to the younger auction for their own stuff at that time. Yep. Yeah. So, like, I mean, there's multiple ways to do this. I just just know that two things like, multiple things can be true at the same time. It's okay to take a hard line on stuff that you know is junky. You don't have to take responsibility, but make sure you're not arbitrarily amping up the consequences just because you're you're pissed. Yeah. Because you're being feel like you're being used and recognize that you're dealing with someone who's probably I mean, what you what you told me was they were in prison, or incarcerated,

came back, having trouble landing a job, maybe don't even seem particularly motivated to do one. Their life's gonna be bouncy for probably a number of years here. You and if you've got a solid head on your shoulders, it's okay to think lovingly about that as opposed to rendering, like bringing to bear every consequence of their their misdeeds right now, because I'll tell you this. You're not proving anything to them. You think you're again, it's the thumb on the thing. You're not teach you think you're teaching them a lesson. You're not. You're not. Yeah. You're making it worse. That's right. So so adjust, but but it's okay to be again, don't put the thumb on it. But if you go to, if you have if you were putting your house up for sale and you didn't need the stuff out of there, it's okay to say that you got two weeks. I gotta get this stuff out. Come get it. Otherwise, I'm giving it away and then give it away. Right. Yeah. It's not a thumb. That's a normal consequence, but it's like, hey, I'm thinking about sometime in the future, I may sell my house and you got one week to come pick this stuff up. That's a thumb. You're just doing it because you're man. It's a seller's market. Get this crap out of here. And that's and and and think about it this way too. That's because part of that is that it's not healthy for you. The reason I think that human beings can't deal well with guilt is what it does to them. Mhmm. One, we don't do it right. But two, the feeling of superiority that says, I'm gonna be the one that turns the screw. I'm gonna be the one that makes them feel just a little bit worse about themselves for a little bit longer than they do naturally just to make sure they learn the lesson. I don't know that that that doesn't create something good in you. That creates something black in you. I don't know else to say it. It just creates something dark in you to have that sort of power over someone and to wanna see it turned.

And, like, it feel it won't feel near as bad as what I'm saying. You're like, I just that's how they learn their lessons. But I I just I think it's not good for a human being to to be in that position. Yeah. You're not the teacher. I I I just I I just don't I just think it creates something negative in you, and so I I I don't think you can handle it properly, and so you shouldn't. Okay.

Seckler says, inform your sister that if her things are not out of your garage by a certain date, that you will have them removed by a junk removal service. It isn't free, but it will solve your problem about readying your property for sale. End. I mean Junk removal services are so expensive. They are. They I mean, they are crazy expensive. With a buddy with a pickup. It's all you gotta do. Mhmm. Pay him in a pizza and beer. Mhmm.

Or even that. They're not your real friends if they require beer. Here's deal. Everybody who buys a pickup knows what they're getting into. Truth. If you advertise that you got a pickup, you're advertising that your pickup is available for use. That's right. You either keep it to your place and never drive it outside of your own yard. As soon as you drive it to the gas station to a friend's house, now everybody knows. If you have an old busted up f one fifty, everybody knows that it's already busted so they can throw their real crap in. Yeah. I'm gonna remove rock. Where's that guy's truck? Nothing has a pickup. I've got a bunch of junk from my sister, and it smells bad. You have a relatively recent truck. Do you feel like you're are you getting roped into moving crap for people? No. Not too often, really. Yours is alright. Yeah. I mean, that's just everybody has trucks. I had truck full trucks. And it was on the rent every weekend. Yeah. No. Gan's right. There's there's a wide proliferation of trucks in the area, so maybe just know someone else. Yeah. Then they know people who are less busy. Mhmm. Like, well, I can't do it this day or that day or that day or that day. Mhmm. That's true. When I had my truck, I was just a college kid. Yeah. And so it made sense for people to just be like, hey, man. I need to use that truck. Like, crap. I just tend to swap. Like, you take my truck. You leave me whatever junk box you drive. It gets me on all kinds I suppose that makes sense. Yeah. That's what I should've done. Yeah. That way I'm not I'm not tied up on, like, when I can do it. That's I've I think the situation was is they'd look at me and they go, that guy's got a truck and can lift whatever I need to put into it. Yeah. Can you pick up a fridge by yourself?

Oh, kinda. I need to move a Davenport. Are you available? Yeah. You could throw that in the back. Take care of it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Hey. You've been listening to Live From The Path. Thank you so much for hanging out with us tonight. I very much appreciate it. Now listen. Do you remember from, was it a week ago? Last last show,

we're we're trying to we're trying to frame up for this five hundredth live from the path episode. So if you've got any stories, ways that the show has impacted you positive or negative, because I think the negative ones are funny. Like, I'm a worse person for having taken this in. I think that's fine. You should just say that. Do it to the Please tell us that. (515) 517-0085. If you want to go so far as taking a quick clip of yourself as a video, then that's fine. That would be great. I think we can incorporate that. But, obviously, if you've got good things to say, that's exciting. But any anything's workable and usable, I think. So if you wanna do that just in preparation for a a compilation on the 500 show, that's coming right up. I think we've got

maybe 10 more episodes. I have to look. I said I might count. Nine nine, 10 more episodes, something like that. So coming right up, and so we'd love to hear from that. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will hand to the ends. You've been listening too live in the past.