Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live in Path. And you're listening to live from the Pathway Studios here in Jones' Proper. Here we are. I'm excited to be here, Ben. Why? Why would you why would you say that? I don't know. Why? I guess it's a

valid counter question. I don't know why I'm excited to be here. I don't understand what you're Alright. Fine. Here's what you should be, though. Here's what we got going on the show tonight. We have Buba has a a social question. A question of of social appropriateness. Yes. Is there a preview? I mean, it might give it away, but I'll I'll try and figure this out. It's wait a minute. Never mind. I'll I'll I'll set it up. It's to do with effluvium. What? That's how you should think about it. What's effluvium? It's it's to do with effluvium. Oh. Does anyone else know what effluvium is or is this No idea. I'm just The word that Ben made up today? Yeah. I smile with that a lot. Ben has lost all of his friends because he talks like that. It's to do. We had that conversation today. And and you think it would get better over, like, text message, but it doesn't. Ben said the word quagmire today. Oh. Like, okay. See, Dan is in. I said no one 50 has said the word quagmire.

And Dan pops in and goes, oh, no. Yeah. That's a good one. Outside of Family Guy, no one 50 has said that word in forever. Alright. Never mind. Dan didn't bail me out. What a quagmire. He invited you. Okay. So anyway, Buba's got a social question to do with Effluvium. We have an article. There's a I came across an article today said you can't be holy and happy. Quippy. Put that on the billboard. What a quagmire of a situation there, Ben. The question is, is this the reality?

You can't be holy and happy. Yeah. I okay. Am I has everyone else read this article? Because I haven't read it. I read it. Okay. I would like to make a no. I'm not gonna make a prediction. I'm just gonna I I already feel like I know what this is about. Okay. Wait. Hold on. What's your prediction? What do you think it's about? I I think they're gonna end up talking about the difference between happiness and joy. Okay. Okay. We'll see if that plays out. Yeah. We'll see. Also, we're last week, if you played, woke or toke, one, I hope you did well. And secondly, you're going to make your you didn't do very well. No. I hope they didn't do well. Why? It's more fun if I'm great at it, they aren't. You're not you're the host. Alex Trebek doesn't go eat it. You didn't get the. Answer. Yes. He does. When he goes home, he goes, Alex, you've done it again. I saved us all kinds of money. Those questions were fantastic. Anyway, so that was America's second fastest growing Internet game show. And we thought if last week we served the potatoes,

today we're gonna serve the pie. This is America's number one fastest growing Internet game show, Secular versus Solomon. And I'm gonna give you I'm gonna give you a hit. For those of you who have been listening to the show for a very long time, this is a retro edition. Meaning, I did not go out and find new quotes to support this particular episode. I just happen to have notes sitting on this computer from way long ago, and we're gonna I'm gonna recycle them. And so we'll see how you did. We'll see if your show acumen and biblical aptitude carry you through this episode of secular versus Solomon. That is why that is why some preachers quit their churches every three years so they can just keep recycling them over and over again. I really know guys who've done that. Wow. Yeah. That's Yeah. I can't imagine. It's pretty bold to say I've wrote and written three years of solid content. Like, I don't know. All they got. I mean, almost everybody I know that either preaches or teaches, like, comes home and goes, I don't know. Right. I don't know if that landed. I do one week, and I'm like, I shouldn't do that again.

Well, I don't know. I was just thinking that's gold, Dan. You should write you write these things down and help a pastor out. Maybe so. Recycle every three years. Well, that's hot diggity. Yeah. Moses only had to write once. You see that? Everybody else churned out new content. After reference. I bet you Chris Tomlin, he keeps, you know, singing the same songs over and over. He's doing alright. That's because people aren't holy yet. He's like, holy, holy. He's happy. Holy holy. Yeah. People aren't holy. Chris Thomas putting out another album that says, you're not holy yet. I will stop when you are righteous. Okay. Alright. Let's start with the and then got some advice on dear life in the past. I got pope style. Oh oh, really? Oh. Woah. Oh, okay. Okay. Mike has some pope style advice. It comes via Hosea. Okay. Okay. Hosea.

Alright. We're gonna start with the article. Well, then we're gonna make our way through the bog of of the episode. You can't be holy and happy. Wait a minute. Wasn't my pope style the bog? No. That was alluding to. Okay. Got it. Sorry about that. I don't even know what that means, and I hate it. It's very buggy. In the countless conversations I've had with non Christians, says the writer of this article, I've heard just about every reason you can imagine as to why they rejected Christianity. That said, I found that if you can get past the superficial responses such as there being no evidence for God, etcetera, there are two primary justifications that rise to the top. The first is something I've written about in the past and labeled the number one argument against Christianity, bad experiences with religion and in particular, professing Christians who look nothing like Christ in their behavior. The feeling is summed up by Gandhi who said, I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

I mean, that's a salient point. Two, the next reason has to do with the Christian life and its expectations, primarily its moral demands. The feeling is that the day in and day out life of a Christian is not a fun one, but rather a drudgery filled with the denial of nearly every pleasure available. No fulfilling sex, no meaningful possessions, no nothing, and who wants that? Are you running into that that protest? Yes. I I have for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Me too. Me too. The yeah. I was just checking with you guys. Making sure. I just it was it the same everybody in the room was on agreement on that one. I find that one more prevalent than the first one. Yeah. I mean, my Really? Yeah. To be but, I mean, my main audience is youth, but, like, there's some of the first one for sure. Yeah. But most of it is, like, their experience with the first one because the people who were following Jesus, they knew,

like, struggled with the second one. Right? Like, it was rule based and terrible and you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's a it's the the Billy Joel paradox. I'd rather laugh with the sinners than die with the saints. Basically, what even if there was a god, this religion sounds lame. Yeah. Yes. Okay. For sure. The devil's lie of you can't be holy and happy has likely run through the heads of everyone presented with the claims of Christianity, including yours and mine, if we're to be honest. The tempter says that to be fulfilled, you have to cast off god's moral framework, live how you want, and then you'll be happy. Initially, it sounds good, but there's a problem. We're not happy. At least that's the conclusion of a Gallup poll taken a couple of years ago. Unhappiness is now at a record high. People feel more anger, sadness, pain, worry, and stress than ever before. The study resulted in a book by Gallup called Blind Spot with the author saying global misery was rising well before the pandemic. In fact, unhappiness has been steadily climbing for a decade and its rise has been in the blind spot of almost every world leader. I mean, I don't know why we're asking the world leaders. Right. Exactly. Posturing that question a little What are your thoughts on this? Do you think people are happy? Happiness is actually rising or people are willing to complain about it? Like, I can only speak from an American Western civilization culture, but, like, I mean, people my grandpa was unhappy. He wouldn't speak a word about it. You know what I'm saying? Like, he just it's just not something he would share or tell you about and would consider it, like, either part of the gig or a passing moment that we're not gonna, like, mark down and say this is long lasting. Well, your grandfather probably didn't expect to be happy. Also true. I mean so that I mean, that's that's the problem. It's like, don't Right. Yeah. We're we're not meeting our expectations. We have high expectations of happiness all the time and there is no such thing, you know, as you know? And so it's like, well, man, I'm really sad because I'm not happy all the time.

I mean, do you think it's a like, is it is it as unrealistic as that? Because, like, I think people in general are like, well, I'm not happy even half the time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. So I I wonder if it's interesting to me actually that the stat is only in the last decade. Right. But in my mind, I guess what I think is, is we got to a point where

we realized that the suppression of things that you're not dealing with is starting to be destructive to people. Yeah. But it's latent things that are showing up in destructive ways. I think we recognize as humanity that the posturing of say the 50s and 60s and even like there was a conservatism around what you were willing to share about yourself to keep up your image even through the seventies and eighties that that we I I think we started to find out, okay. That's this is bad. This is not helpful to people. And then there was probably a short amount of time where we were sharing at the right level. Right. I'm I'm struggling.

I I don't feel up to snuff, but whatever. Like, you're used getting your feelings out. And then after a very short amount of time, I'm gonna say no more than three to five years, we shifted from being transparent to indulging it. Yeah. To like embracing difficulties as identities. Badges. Right. To to not seeing these things as things to overcome, but as if they are allocated lot in life. And that has continued to perpetuate itself into people and beliefs and systems of beliefs where, like, it's it's not even about we we we talked about grit, like, a number of episodes ago, but, like, there's, a perception that, like, you can't even do anything. It is just your lot. Like, your decisions didn't contribute it, and, it's not something with some like, muster up some courage and some fortitude. You might be able to get through it and be stronger on the other side. It's just like a this is who this is who I am or this is my lot in life. And so once you do that, though,

you're you're unhappy and you're stuck there. There's there's a difference in in, like, people who are in a rough spot but who are actively working through it are gonna reflect a different level of happiness, at least some percent of the time, than people who are like, My lot is unhappy and it cannot move. And that is circularly depressing and it will continue to act upon itself. So I do think it is maybe not a surprise to me to find that over the last decade,

the things that could make people unhappy are not particularly different. Keeping up with the Joneses, normal human tragedies, sadness in the world, unmet expectations, there's no time in the world through time of which these things have not been present. There is a question of how permanent they are and how much they help define you versus how much they otherwise drive you to interacting with the world in different ways. Well, it's interesting. Was I was I can't remember the specific source. I'm gonna have to find it. But, like, there was a a podcast I was listening to where there was a doctor talking about how the word trauma doesn't mean anything anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody has trauma. Everybody's got traumatic experiences, and he'd like he was just basically saying, like, no. You have difficulties in your life. Yeah. Some discomfort. Yes. Right. Like, just because you ran into a wall does not mean it was a traumatic event. Yeah. Like, that's ridiculous. Yeah. And we're starting to lose the meaning of the word trauma Yeah. For those who are actually going through trauma. I I half the time don't believe that I've gone through any trauma, and, like, I can't imagine being on the other end of that where it's like, man, I had a bad traumatic day.

My boss yelled at me. Like, what? Oh, yeah. What is wrong with you? Right. How is that trauma? Like, That's ridiculous. Sorry, just go, it's just lost all meaning. I do mentoring at the local high school once a week with a student and then we're in this room and there's this continual stream of students that come and go, need a snack because they're traumatized, like, oh, we're having a bad day, and oh, they made us have homework, oh, there's a test, and I feel like, man, this poor teacher is trying to monitor things, and I need a drink, I need a snack, I need to sit down, I need a rest, I need a break, and I think, wow, there's a lot of unhappiness going on. Yeah. And they truly feel it, I mean, it's not, you know, they truly feel it. I've been over six hundred pounds before, I have embraced the trauma snack. Yeah, yeah, Yes. Yeah. And and that's the difficulty. And I think we've we've talked about this in in maybe multiple places or multiple times before is that, like, it's it's it's right to acknowledge that the way these are these are actual true feelings. Yep. Whether they are right sized or whether they are taking in the world correctly or in in in the right proportion is actually completely separate discussion. It doesn't say that your feelings aren't aren't real. It just whether they should be honored, what weight they should carry. Right. Yeah. Whether they're lying to you or not are all those are different questions. But, like, it's interesting

when you were talking about trauma because I actually thought there were the today, I saw examples of where I thought the word trigger, the word microaggression, and the word gaslighting are all have the same the same types of problems. There was a woman on YouTube or something and was talking about how she divorced her husband or something and and she goes, I'm I'm getting triggered right now. I'm like, you mean you're remembering? She's she she was regretting her divorce. She she she, like, was threatening to divorce her husband to try to get him to do something or other and expecting him to, like, beg her not to go or whatever, and he just didn't contest the divorce. And so she ended up she ended up divorced from this man, and it sounded like she was in a really good spot. Like, she might've looked like she this was totally in the wrong. This seems like a pretty decent guy. Anyway, she's, like, looking back on it and, like, she's having memories of being in her house with her kids and with her husband and happy holidays or whatever. And, like, she caught she's caused almost all of this to happen, she's and like, I'm be I'm being triggered. I'm like, no. You're you're just remembering. You're remembering something that happened to you, and you have a feeling about it. Some regret? Yeah. This is way different than a guy sitting in his chair and hears a transformer explode two blocks away, and it brings him back to NAM. Yeah. Like, these are different types of things. Like, yes, those are also memories, but, like, there's something about that memory that his whole body has held onto. Like, triggers an explosion. Yes. His kidney is telling on him. His kidney is, like, even I remember what happened. Exactly. And so let's that's the same. And, like, similar to

what did say? Trauma microaggressions. Oh, yeah. Gaslighting. This is the a different woman who was actually it was like a series of ladies who, like, shouldn't have divorced. And she's like and he he he gaslit me. And, like, she she explained the situation. She's like, oh, he lied to you. Well, yeah. I I get it, and I get how it would totally hurt. Yeah. But, like, I mean, what we did have a word for that already. Right. What what what does the word gaslight mean again? It's it's intending to communicate a situation where, like, people are treating you like you're you're nuts. Like, you remember a a particular cons like, oh, I remember you said this to me or this situation happened and, like, most likely to be what people consider to be a manipulative, overbearing, narcissistic spouse who's gonna act like none of that ever happened. Happen. Yeah. They're blowing up the whole world around you. Yeah. I punched you in the face a month and a half ago, and as you're trying to tell me about how it made you feel today, I'm like, that never even happened. Never happened. Like, what are you talking about? Why is it called gaslight? Well, I think it's trying to imply well, and people do this like, this is again, conceptually, it's not crazy, but it's not just they're trying not to say I just lied, but also you destroyed all the things around you. Yeah. So, like, you but you you isolated someone with how with your narrative Yeah. Which is different than, like It comes with a lot of narcissistic tendencies to make it actually a gaslit situation. Okay. And it's not a one off. Like, it's not a situation where, like, you and I had one interaction and I gaslit you. It kind of colors a a a relationship

that we might have had mainly within our statistic situation where, like again, like Ben said, it's isolating you from your own feelings, from people believing that you could possibly be telling the truth, all kinds of stuff. It's a lot more serious than just, oh, that person lied. Yeah. He lied to me. Yeah. Again and I I think the point is is that, like, if our words don't mean things, we cannot make distinctions around some some, you know, man or woman whose partner has actually done this to them because there's a lot more to unpack there versus dude lied to me or lady lied to me. Okay. And that's bad, but like, again, you've you've you've miscolored as if you're indulging in your harm. And like, we need to deal with your harm, transparent about our harm and our our our fallibilities and such. That's not the same thing as be it becoming you. Yeah. And anyway, so I I don't maybe I'm not surprised. Mike, I think to your point, are people more unhappy? I I don't know that our situations would would

the circumstances of the world would justify that. The world is richer than it ever has been. Fewer people are in poverty than they ever ever have been. More people are living in at least nominal freedom than they ever have been. The amount of people dying in casualties of war is low. Like, it's just not like, it's not justified with the circumstances. And so the question is what is or what is making us more I don't want frail comes off wrong, but, like, what makes us more susceptible to unhappiness that we are not persevering through the troubles that are surrounding us and more people are willing to say they're unhappy. I think that is right. So well and I think that that that proves Dan's point. Like, I think the truth is is, like, the metric just keeps moving, you know, where like we talk my wife and I talk about this every once in a while. It's,

some of the stereotypical things like society would have a woman in charge of. If that was her whole job, you know, and she had all day and her only thing was to cook or clean or take care of the house, take care of the kids, whatever. And she had said, like, if this was if this was my whole gig, then, yeah, could I find joy in it? And I think the answer is yes. Right? If it's the thing that you were in charge of doing and, like, you were happy to do it and yet saw some actual output for your family and for those around you, just like a guy that would never leave his homestead. Like, he, you know, farmed it all day. He wasn't out trying to, you know, get coffee and and buy lunch and have to drive through traffic and own a decent car. He's just like I grow grain. And every day, I make sure the grain's still there. You know? And I I check on the cows and whatever. Yep. And so it's an over fanciful,

you know, like, looking back on time and saying this is what it could have been like. But, like, overall, we just keep moving the needle. Mhmm. You know? So, like, the more that the convenience shows up, the more we think, well, this will be a burden off of me. And it isn't working that way. Right? So you don't feel any more rested or like you have any less responsibilities even though your bills now come to you automatically over the computer and you don't have to go out and get the bills. You know? And you're and what what used to be you're like, well, this is gonna be cool. Now I don't have to trudge all the way out to the mailbox. Now you're just irritated. Like, how there's I get all these every day, all the time. And and even the even the automatic lights that you have or something that you tell the robot to shut to shut the lights off or something. And you're like, well, there's one thing off my list that I won't have to I got my lights on timers,

you know, and they're LEDs. And so we're saving money, and they're gonna shut off on their own, and this will be great. And you didn't wake up the next day with any less stress or any more rest or any more peace about your life. It's just another thing that when it fails you, you will go, that stupid robot, it was supposed to do this for me. You know? Because, like, you have when you have you think it'll save you the time and it never comes up with more time. Everybody feels like they are trying to gain their rest and they do that by watching a bunch of streaming video or, you know, or or, god forbid, a book, you know, to sit down and read or something. But no amount of streaming helps, and everybody knows that. Everyone's fallen victim to the same thing. There is zero amounts of where, like, I've streamed enough, and now I feel ready to go back to my life. Right. Right? Anytime you sit down and take in more than one movie, more than one show for any extended period of time, all you wanna do is stay there. Yeah. You don't get energized for your actual life. You basically give it up to do this new life where you don't do anything. Dang. And so it's not get like, overall, it's it's it's placating. Right? It's it's neutered the top the highs and the lows and says everyone will be happy in the middle. And, like, the one thing that the gospel promises, it ain't that. Yeah. Right? It is not a complacent, noneventful,

boring days. There's gonna be lament days for sure. And then there's gonna be overjoyed, weeping that you can't imagine the joy that's coming out of this day. But the one thing that God says is, like, you are not just gonna sit here and do nothing. You know? You know what's interesting about that? So, like, just think if you if you spent your lobby cure I'm gonna I'm gonna assume something or presume something. I bet I bet if you go and interview the people who were doing, like, Doctors Without Borders or people who were doing mission work in rough areas where, like, they're looking at providing Medicaid to people and they can't possibly help them all. And there are people who are dying and they're like, this is not necessary. I bet if you were to ask them, are they unhappy? That isn't how they would answer. They might be angry. They might be motivated. Frustrated. For unhappiness. Right. But they're not unhappy because what they're doing matters. Yeah. The question is, is it like, is there a is there a correlation

between how much substantive things we are spending our time on and the level of unhappiness, which is not is a different correlation to what types of when I'm doing substantive work, even if it's hard work and difficult to watch and something you cannot conquer, like world hunger or something, but it won't make you unhappy. Whereas our lack of substantive doing anything that mattered can't doesn't contribute to

our the the permanence or the sustainment of our unhappiness. I bet it would. I bet it does. I bet we're more open to being unhappy because actually, here's one of the things if that were true, now I'm building upon my own assertion, is because it's self centered. Right? Most of the time, if you're gonna measure, am I doing something that matters? It generally tends to matter to other people. Yeah. You're even things where you're like, hey. I'm working on the environment. Most of the premise of what you're doing so is for people who are going to benefit or use from it, whether it's animals or humans or whatever. For later generations. But even if it was just the environment, like, let's just say you're doing something that you feel like matters and you're giving of your own self and your time to do something that you feel like had a big bigger benefit for either other people things or whatever.

The places where you're not doing things that make a significant difference in the world tend to be things that are isolated to you. You sat on your brains and you watched the Netflix all the time or played video games for extended amounts of time or whatever it was. Right? Like, you just it wasn't something that actually interacted with other people or or drew them positively. And so is it that would make sense to me is that the more self focused you are, the more prone you are to being unhappy because you're not doing something that has it your inner guts go, this is sensitive. This mattered. It mattered if I didn't do it. Whereas you could watch or not watch or play or not play or sit on butt or not sit on butt and, like, it wouldn't have mattered to the rest of the world. But, like, if if you did or did not do this thing, it made some kind of difference. I think you're probably prone to being more happy about that. Society has kind of can has has gone that way as well. Like, as that mindset has taken over, then generations are coming up where they don't have the

I keep wanting to say impudence. I think that's the probably the wrong word. Or the imperative is probably a better word. They don't have the imperative for the community around them because it's not necessary. Yes. You know? Interesting. Because of the way that that life is is now framed and some of the conveniences that we have, the way that we get our resources, even the work that we do that doesn't require you to go anywhere or do anything. I mean, the call requires you to do something, but you're you're not actively involved in a community. So so what was a much stronger pull, you know, forty years years ago was what's best for the community. Mhmm. You know? And so and and even, like, take COVID as an example. That was in the eighties, Mike. Do you think about that? Yeah. We yeah. Maybe it's longer back than that. You're old. Okay. Maybe maybe it's longer than the forties. Yeah. But but even if you we've talked about, like, a response to COVID. The right response to COVID would have been if the government was gonna throw money, you know, towards people, we should have paid everybody who was at risk to stay home and let everyone else who wasn't

go out and pass this thing around and beat it. It'd have been cheaper. And then you have had a economy that stayed up and running. Right? And we would have let not only the the this would be hard to swallow politically. I totally understand. Right? There's all kinds of opposing factions to this. But from my point of view, I want to take the at risk kid and his parents and they can everybody can stay home or everybody above 65 who's more at risk. Like, if you're at risk for catching this thing, you stay home and then the rest of us will pass it around and and and get it beat and then go back and keep an economy up and rolling and keep our community up while that community can can hunker. Right? As but, like, that mindset doesn't it doesn't quite exist this day and age anymore. Right? Like, with a a community driven mindset where you feel like I'm not pulling my share of what our shared community needs from me, you basically go, well, I don't want to, so I won't. You know? And and it's not and like, you could blame younger generations if you want to, but the truth is, like, they got taught that. That came from somewhere. Right? Like, a a five year old doesn't revolutionize the way that we look. We look at life. You know? This is gonna go differently. That's right. You know what I'm saying? And so, like, we just so we allowed it, you know, as as we pull back from a community and we and the self focus thing, it's the big thing. Yep. You know? And and it it is extremely harmful to people and and but even as we think that, like, what's best for you is is self care. Right? And that's not wrong. Right? Like Yep. God is not calling you to, like, not take care of yourself, but it's indulgent self care. It's not actually helpful self care. It's indulgent

where it says, like, for this day or for this week or for this year or for this span of my life, I'm gonna do what I wanna do. Yeah. And the thing is what you think is if I do what I wanna do, then I will then be happy. Yep. And and if you're being honest with yourself, that is not true and you know it's not true. But you're, like, trying to convince somebody of that who doesn't wanna hear it or yourself when you're in the midst of doing it, it's a hard sell. Yeah. My generation younger, seems to be a relentless pursuit to understand I

and to diagnose I and to to to figure out me in general. Right? Rarely ever do we look externally and try and figure out, like, how can I frame the meaning of my existence and or trying to figure out what is what has happened with me, what I've been through, what's wrong with me, all these different things to, in any way,

look at it through the lens of anyone else or at anyone else? We are very specifically, diagnosed to to be intentionally self centered because we feel like we don't have a basis to stand on in which we couldn't be. And it's crazy. Like, it's crazy as I grow and, like, learn about myself, but then more importantly, about, like, my place more than just me. I'm a part of communities like you're saying. Like, that that's just that's not something I was taught as a kid. Like, it was not societally pushed. Like, we never did the like, I don't know. Most of my neighbors never knew most of my neighbors. Like, we just didn't have conversations outside of that, and, like, we went to school with people, did some activities, but, like, then we went home. Yeah. And we stayed home. And then younger

than I, even less so, do they under like, most people are afraid to have a phone call nowadays. Like, they're afraid to be on the phone. Text me. Only text me. Not because it's convenient, but because I'm terrified of interaction, and I'm terrified of anyone outside of my bubble. It's crazy. It's so crazy how minded we are to be about ourselves, but not mindful of anyone else around ourselves. Interesting on how how how some of that adds into when you're not interacting with that as much, the presence of things like anxiousness, social anxiousness perpetuates that isolationist. Like, you can't get around it. Yep.

And, like, if we're what you would think that, like, if you were more involved in those types of things Mhmm. Then you wouldn't be one so worried about how someone's gonna react. You like, you know what to be prepared for. You've met all kinds of people, so you're not afraid of all kinds of people and the how the interaction is gonna go. The most impactful things that have the some of the most impactful things that have come from any kind of journey you would call from me trying to figure out my brain and my life and stuff has been outside of it. It's been outside like, the the the the biggest things have been to go, what's happening around me? And what are what are people dealing with around me? And it's rightsizing because then, like, if if you're doing work with with less fortunate communities and you're doing work with I mean, any other community doesn't necessarily have to be less fortunate or more fortunate, whatever. But, like, the second you start statistically expanding your sample size, if you will, you start recognizing more and more and more how little it is about you and how little it is about, like,

the the things that you're doing wrong or could be doing wrong or the things that have been done to you or all the wrongs that you've dealt with and the traumas and stuff. The second you take a step out your front door and realize that the center of the universe was not the house that you've been holed up in, you start to to really I mean, it it it truthfully starts to blow up your mentality to go like, oh my gosh. There is so much more than me. Like, there's so much more than than just what I'm dealing with. And then if you start to to pour that out, not necessarily, like, dump all your stuff onto people, but you start to, like, bring people in and build a circle and then build a circle that's outside of that and start to look outside your own front door, you start to realize how infinitesimally small some of the things you're dealing with are. Yep. It right sizes it for you. I mean, you try and take a group of kids right now that have anxiety issues and all these things about traumas that they deal with on a daily basis, not even to make fun of, but, like, they feel that they need a snack because they're so traumatically affected by regular schoolwork. Right? Like, you take those kinds of of people and you put them into any thought that puts outward, you know, go help out a homeless ministry. You know, go spend time in a different country understanding that you've never in your life experienced or seen poverty. Like, you have no idea what that looks like. And I'm not saying it has to be that extreme. I'm just saying from the perspective of of expanding

that thought. It is difficult to see those kind of things and then to go back into your own house and go, man, I've got it rough. And, man, my life sucks. And, man, I've been through trauma. Yeah. Like, you're in you're in a home that is in actually, I'm gonna bring up something Mike said in a youth group I was in maybe eight years ago that, like, Western civilization, we live in air conditioning. Right? We we go from an air conditioned home to an air conditioned car to an air conditioned shopping mart and or school and or workplace and then go back out into our air conditioned car and then go back home. Like, we are in actual temperature that is not being mechanically changed

less than thirty minutes of the day, and, like, we think we have trauma in our lives. Right. Right. That's crazy. So we we go we go to the homeless camps, you know, every other week and this last time we went out to a place, it's still winter, it's cold, they're sleeping in tents, we're bringing them some food, some hot meal, some stuff for that week, and I just had a moment,

we're standing there talking to all these guys, one guy has one leg, one gal has a rat literally crawling around her, it's her pet rat, just crawling in her coat and she's kissing it in the lips, I'm kinda going, okay. But they're laughing and they're talking and there's some joy, they're like, hey, man, we've built some relationships with these guys,

and it's it's hard to go home and feel sorry for myself. Mhmm. Right. Mhmm. You know? Because I because I oh, it's hard to get back in my truck with a heater Right. And feel sorry for myself. I mean, let let you know? And and but it it just struck me because they they were laughing. I mean, were enjoying, they were smiling, they were they they had this community, you know, and they're together and and and they're for each other and then and they're helping each other, hey, did you get one? You know? We got a hot coffee. Woah, hot coffee, and it was just like the biggest thrill, and sometimes I'd like to take some of those people, but then I don't want them to be Like you.

I I them don't I don't to use the homeless community to say, objectify it. You know I'm saying? But it would be a great lesson at the same time, like I think that it kinda proves your point. Right? Look what the gospel that Jesus is bringing forth. Like, the last shall be first, the first shall be last. The greatest among you will be a servant here. And then look at a generation or a group of people that goes, this is why I can't get on board with God because he is not concerned with me. Mhmm. He's concerned with him and he's concerned with everybody else but me. Yeah. And it's it's a blinding, right, because after a little bit of wisdom, you figure out that, like, the focus on you is where all of your unhappiness is coming from.

And it's almost offensive to paint it with that broad of a brush. Right. But the truth of the matter is is, like, I know every dude in this room. I know how you grew up. I know all the stuff that, like, they would turn around and go, you have this trauma and this trauma and this trauma. And and and the truth of the matter is is someone actually came at me with that big load of stuff. I'm like, you have trauma that you haven't dealt with. And I go, yeah. Here's the deal is, like, I don't want it. Right. Right? Like, I don't care whether it happened or not. I I don't wanna carry it around It's not my nature. Like it owns me. You know what I'm saying? Like, that doesn't sound like dealing with it. That sounds like giving it a chair at the table and then feeding it and calling it my friend. Right. I don't want it in here. Right? And, like, god says, I don't have to have it in So, I I mean, it's the it's it's the it's the thing that that makes the gospel offensive in a in a modern time that focuses solely on

you and your happiness. Yeah. And because you believe that your happiness comes from you. And once again, like, at the right time in the middle of the night, you're gonna realize that's that's a load of crap. It's just not true. If it was true, I think people would tell you. Like, I would have bailed on the Jesus thing a long time ago if that was true because I could find this on my own. Yeah. I don't need a god for this. But everybody's had a stint where they tried to find it on their own, and they eventually came to the conclusion that, like, whatever happiness is, I can't find it on my own. It's just flat out not happening. Yeah. And I think that's the hard part to watch. Like, if you know a god and you know what actual happiness is or joy is and people are settling for less And they're like, I was happy for a time. I was happy for a period or this one event happened and it made me happy. And then the rest of the rest of the time, they're just beaten down and sad and they just won't freaking admit it. They're like, this is the best. And you're like, it's obviously not, though. You know? And you know that, but you just have to be willing to admit it or better yet, god will show you.

The article continues. It says, so people reject Christianity because they think it won't let them live in a way that will make them happy. But when they live how they want to live, they still aren't happy. Sounds like quite the mess. What are we to do? I'll reply with a game of what if. What if by our very nature, we have the wrong desires that cause us to love bad things that lead to rotten outcomes and result in us being ultimately unhappy. But what if god can change our nature so that we have the right desires that cause us to love good things in the right way that leads to positive outcomes and results in us being truly happy? If correct, that sounds like a winner to me. Well, guess what? That's the promise of Christianity. It's tough to admit that we're flawed, make mistakes, and no one's to blame but ourselves. C. Lewis wrote, believing in a real right and wrong means finding out that you are not very good. Instead of pointing fingers in every direction as most do today except towards the person in the mirror, Lewis describes past generations of non Christians as in many ways merrier than a modern but with a deep sadness. When he asked himself what was wrong with the world, he did not immediately reply, the social system or our allies or education. It occurred to him that he himself might be the one of the things that was wrong with the world. When it comes to our human operating system, the Bible has an interesting way of describing our innate moral being. When you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. Therefore, what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed?

Did you catch that? We're originally free in regard to righteousness, which means we can't be good in and of ourselves, at least not how god defines it. We started out with another master about which Paul asks somewhat sarcastically what benefit came from obeying that master, certainly not lasting happiness. Here's what's interesting. The article here said it had sin in parentheses. We start out with another master. Sin. I don't know. I I think it's probably helpful. It may grounds us a little bit better better for me to say me. Mhmm. Right. Me. We start out with another master. Me. Most no one would actually go. Someone who doesn't believe in Jesus or someone who's, like, chosen their own path is not gonna go, oh, yeah. I choose to be a master to sin. That's not what they're saying. Right. It doesn't even land. But if you go, are you I'm choosing me. I do what I want. Yes. Right. Yeah. That's what we're saying. Yeah. And I I think that's a clear way to think about it. You know what? Reading reading through that earlier today, what I kept thinking of is this this is not just true in the spiritual realm Right. But it's like in everything. Yeah. I I I wanna eat peanut M and M's. I want I want ice cream. I want I mean, all this stuff that that it's just pure crap. I want chips and dip, and and that makes me so happy, and then I feel miserable, and it's the broccoli and the cauliflower and the salads and the it's other stuff that makes me feel good when and the fruit, you know, and when I eat properly,

it doesn't take long, but I feel like really good, and I know it, but it's for some reason, I want to have an ice cream sundae, and then I start having more, then three and then four, then do this and that, and then I start feeling slow and

it's like I think it's the same thing spiritually. Yes. Yes. I agree that's true, and I think that's actually helpful to remember is that for most of the things that you see people who are either struggling with God, not believing in him, that they're struggling with it's not like that every Christian's not struggling with the same thing. Yeah. My boundaries may be different than somebody else's boundaries. The thing that draws me in, you know, maybe it maybe it's not gambling, but maybe it's something else. You know? Like, everybody knows what this feels like. How much control it has over your life, how often or how much you've been turning it over to god to try to help do that, how many times have you actually taken personal action to set up good fences and restrain or restrict you from doing things? Like, those are the things that make the difference, but like, I it's interesting to think that for a person, you know, who has

maybe they've OD'd on drugs or something or tried and ended up in really rough shape, I can't identify with that sort of relationship with drugs. I can identify with that sort of relationship with a few other things. And so, I get that the different substances and the consequences are a little bit differently but this thing that eats at you and goes, I'm gonna wanna think the thing or do the thing or eat the thing, like everyone knows what that feeling is like and they know what it feels like to be dominated by it. They know what it feels like to make the decision and regret it,

to be ashamed of, done any of those things. Like, that's not uncommon with humans. I don't care how, you know, 1950s household they appear to be. Everyone struggled with that. Yeah. Let's see here. Let's see. Yeah. So the rest the article basically prescribes that real happiness,

which is Jesus says, blessed or happy are those that hunger and thirst after righteousness for they shall be filled. Does this kind of happiness mean you won't have real enjoyment in your life? Life? Far from it. Do you wanna have great sex? Go ahead and enjoy. Just do so within the marital covenant that's been designed for maximum intimacy and pleasure. Do you wanna have a nice home or homes? Oh. Buba, that's you. No. She's talking to you. Barely have a car. Yeah. You can have multiple you gotta he's really saying you're gonna get a duplex and other such material things. No problem. Just earn them from hard work, give back, and be free from the love of money. Let's not pretend the righteousness for sin swap that god does within us means we won't still struggle with pursuing the wrong things. Okay. We talked about that. When let's see. When he was challenged as to how the professions of faith being made during the Great Awakening could be verified, Jonathan Edwards responded with his work, A Treatise Concerning Religious Affectations, where he argued that true saving faith is evident in the changed affections of the professor. True religion in great part consists in holy affections, wrote Edwards.

If the great things of religion are rightly understood, they will affect the heart. Indeed, they will bring about new desires that will cause us to love the right things which result in real pleasure. Or put another way, only when you're holy are you truly happy. Who'd have thunk it? I think technically, Mike, I think you you didn't win. I was just about to say that. No. I didn't. Surprisingly, though, because at the beginning of the article, I would've totally thought the same thing. Yeah. Well maybe it's it might be an indictment on me, honestly. Like, I was just considering the fact that, like, when I change jobs, I got a raise, and I hated it. I didn't want it. The raise or the job? The raise. Got it. Yeah. The raise because I don't I've money's never been a problem for me because I've never had it. And so it doesn't bother me any. I've not I'm not a slave to it. It doesn't own me at all. Yeah. You know? And then, like, when it got to a certain point, like, I had taken a job and I'm like,

this feels like real money category here. Like, I'm gonna have to oh, what am I gonna do? I I don't want this. Right. In fact, I would in fact, I offended a bunch of people at my workplace because they want they everybody was throwing in on a lottery pool. And as a curmudgeony dude, I'm like, I don't have any problem with the gambling aspect of it. I don't wanna win. Like, I literally don't want that amount of money. Like, it's it's a scary principle to me. I'm like, oh, it'll ruin me. I'll make a bunch of stupid decisions. Like, I will sin with that money. Mhmm. There is I just don't want it. I don't want it in here. So there's, like, a certain level of income that, like, even if my job offered, a bonus or something, it puts a pit in my stomach. I, like, I don't want that bonus. I don't want your money. I don't want any more money than I have because it scares me to be responsible for it. And here's the thing. Jesus goes, yeah. That's exactly why we're giving you money. I was just gonna say, that's the right person. But but, like, in the term like, the article's a little bit right is is you can you can still like, you don't have to live this curmudgeonly terrible life

to prove to god that you love him. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's not what he's asking for. He's asking for right things at right times with the right heart. And, like, it'll that'll all sides of will work itself out. Yeah. Now sometimes you might end up being a little bit blind to what that actually means, which is why you create a community around you. Mhmm. You know? And put people around you that will step in and go, two boats? I don't know. My two boats seems a little a little enough. Right. You should be on a boat share. But You better give one of the boats away. You know what's interesting about that, though? Like, if you were to ask, you know, a 100 Christians who are, like, faithfully trying to follow Jesus, I bet 70 would go. In the back of my mind, I worry that he's gonna send me to go live in 10 Tangiers. Yeah. Right? And then but but let think about what we just talked about. This whole the whole expanse of the discussion. Like, if that's where happiness is in Tangiers,

why don't you wanna go? Right. Like, we are there's still some semblance of, oh, I wonder if he's gonna make me give up my second vehicle. Well, like, wouldn't that be better? Like, if you knew that god wanted you to give it up, like, wouldn't you love to do it? Because God obviously thinks there's something good in it. Yeah. And if and if we said one of the significant risks in our society and, like, this is where I've often said that that America our our basic level of wealth creates a blindness in us. We didn't ask for it. We're not trying for it. We just have it because money does that. Like, having things causes a blindness because you don't you forget what it's like to need. You don't really have a good sense for what like to lean on god and to trust him. Your your concepts are vague in your mind because you're like, oh, I I do. I trust in god every day. And then you buy all your own groceries. You keep the lights on. The the city pumps your water in. Like, you just don't have a physical way to show that, so you have a little distance from it. So you don't see it the same way someone else who's praying in tanned years may see it. Yeah. You don't know daily bread. Yes. It you're right. Exactly. And, like, you're you shouldn't be ashamed of that, but, again, you gotta know where your risks are. Your risks are blindness in this area. But, like, as opposed to I'm worried that God will disrupt the things that I think are valuable in my life, which are mostly focused on ourselves. Although my biggest I actually I the the the thing that keeps me, like, where I'm like, I don't I don't know, man. I I don't know if god's gonna have us go do something is I don't wanna leave my church family. Like, I'd be I'd be that that's the thing that matters to me. Everywhere else, like, I could probably care less. But, like, in general, that's the concern. The is that they're most they're mostly self focused types of things. But if those are our poison,

then I probably should switch my prayers and go, father, if there's any way that I should give this car away Oh, yeah. Could you find me a guy? Because I think I'd like to do that. I'd like to I'd like to take anything that feels like it's serving me, and I want all the happy I can get. And so what can I trade for the happy? Can I trade this car? I'll do it. Can I trade this extra room in my house? Can I trade, like, some of my salary? Whatever it is, like, I wanna buy the happy in the kingdom with all the stuff that seems to be flowing my way based upon where I live. But, also, like, without without a prosperity attached to it, like, if it's time for you to buy a vehicle, buy one. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right? One that you can afford and that is reasonable, but it's not like a holy clunker. You know I'm saying? Like, you go put your wife and your kids in it, buy a decent vehicle. Yeah. You know? Like, you don't have to be ashamed that God has blessed you in a way to to to live in the society you live in. You don't live in Tangier. Right? And so, like, we're not talking about arguing over bison here. And so, like, can you you live in Iowa or, you know, at least we do where it gets to be negative 20 and a 120 depending on the season, and the car's gotta start and run and get through six, you know, six, eight, 10 inches of snow, if not feet. And it also has to be able to sit out in the hot. And so, like, does it make sense if God has blessed you with a job and you have taken responsibility in your community, for yourself, for your family, that you spend some of the money that has been provided to buy an a decent vehicle? Yes. That is Yeah. Yes. You don't need to, like, sit around and fret that this is horrible. Yeah. You know? Like, just buy the thing that runs and that serves your purposes. That's fine.

Alright. Alright. You're listening live for the path. By the way, I did validate it does not appear that any bison live in in Tangier. Unfortunate. I don't think that's It's the That's why there's such a fight over it. Yeah. If you fight what Tangier is North Africa, isn't it? I think it's Morocco. Is it the capital of Morocco? That sounds right. That sounds right too. You, North Africa. You want me to do this thing real quick before you do the game? Oh, you're you're a pope style advice? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. It's it's not gonna be a long one, but it's just something to think about, and it's something that has been weighing on me a little bit. And it's it's in Hosea 13. And it's Hosea thirteen five and six. And it was it's this is God talking. And he says, it was I who knew you in the wilderness, in the land of drought.

But when they had grazed, they became full. They were filled, and their heart was lifted up. Therefore, they forgot about me. And there has been I there's probably been four or five times in my life where I have experienced something where I knew that God was the only resource I had. Like, it wasn't a human problem. It was a, I need the almighty creator of the universe to get involved.

And I remember thinking at the time that, like, I was seeking him with almost every minute, hour of the day and, like, there's just nothing else I could do. Everything else seemed like a waste of time. You know? Like, I just wanted to pray more. I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted to talk to him about the thing more. I wanted to read the scripture so he would see his words in me and then be validated that his presence was here gonna do work. And I'm like, yes. And I this is it's happened every time too. Like, a week or so in, I'm like, god, I'm not like this when things aren't bad. I don't seek after I I'm like, what how do I ask you to change in me whatever

makes this situation make me turn my face towards you and seek you with everything I have? But if you were actually to give me what my what I asked for, it's a high likelihood I would then turn my face away and go back and do whatever I was doing before this happened, you know, or before these situations came up. And I think I was I was thinking about it this morning because actually I broke my remember last week we were talking about like, I was, like, two months where I had I I I just wasn't listening to the radio. No tunes. Yeah. Yeah. I was just praying. Yeah. And

yesterday, I bailed on it, like, on one drive. Right? Like, the other drives, I was still praying. You know? But for some re like, I got it in me that I'm like, I don't have to do this today. You know? I and, like, I don't think God ain't mad about it. You know? It's not like I'm I'm off the I'm off the reservation. You know? But I thought, this is how it starts, man. Like, this is what happens. I went Hosea style. God God brought me to a place and set me in a pasture, and I ate, and I became full, and then I forgot how I got there. And then I just go back to whatever.

And so I my pope style advice, it's it's really simple and it's actually very hard to enact as far as I can tell from my perspective when things aren't in the middle of the pile, You know? But the truth is is, like, God wants your attention. That's what he wants. He wants your heart, and he wants your attention. The pope style advice is give it to him voluntarily, like, right now. You know? Don't make him come find you. Because if he has to come find you to get your attention,

then you can read most of the old testament and ask Israel how that went. You can talk to Mike Foust, and he will tell you how that went. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, the times that you actually turn your face to him and say, Lord, I got I got nowhere else to go. Like, you are you are all of this thing, and I'm sorry for all the times that I ignored you, all the great things that I probably missed out on, all the times you I should have heard your voice, and I should have heard you calling, but I was busy drowning you out. And now all I wanna hear is your voice, and all I wanna hear is your calling, and all I wanna know is what you want me to do or what you're gonna do or what's going on. I just wanna know. And if he has to get your attention that way, it didn't change his countenance at all. Like his posture towards you was always one of love and wanting to talk to you,

right? But yours had to, and it was rough. And, like, it's a plague of humanity. You know, know, I you're gonna find yourself here, but I'm just saying that, like, if you could take any wisdom at all from your past experiences, from mine, from Israel's, right, and go, he wants your heart and your attention. And if you make him come get it,

like, it's it's gonna be it's just unpleasant. It's it's tearing. It's breaking. Right? That to get your attention, he almost has to break something. And like, I I don't know what a life looks like where I give him that same amount of attention when the world isn't on fire. And I sure wanna know. I wanna know what that's like, you know? I wanna know what that's like to seek him and seek his face as fervently as I did or as I do when things are so out of my own control and I actually realize it. Right. You know? Yep. So the Pope's style advice is, like, he wants your heart and your attention.

Give it to him before he has to come take it. Get off my lawn. Yeah. You've been listening live from The Path. Thank you for hanging out with us this evening. I would say maybe you have a thoughts on the show. Like, you you've got some concerns about the things that we're saying or you you delighted and wanna share with the world. Please give us some feedback. You can call or text the live from the path, Bob Eisenhower complaint line, (515) 517-0085. That's call or text (515) 517-0085. We would love to hear your thoughts, opinions, feedback, or or other items.

And while you think about that, I want you to think about this. And now for America's fastest growing game show. Secular or Solid? You, my good friends, or casual acquaintances or sworn enemies, have wandered into America's

fastest growing Internet game show as Mubba says, the pie. We're gonna play secular versus Solomon. That didn't land. What was the what was the opening theme that was the Solomon show? What was that for? That was the Solomon show was the transition when we moved from the downtown studios to to the first studio in Johnston. It was under the premise of of the interview on the Solomon Show. Okay. Gotcha. Yeah. Gotcha. Alright. Too long, God. Let me let me remind you of how the game goes, Buba. Can I use my bible?

No. Okay. Can I use Mike's bible? Yeah. Good good question. I mean, just ask a specific Yeah. But he can't give it to you. You have to use it from where you're at. Oh. So he's gotta, like, hold it up. But then to do so, he has to violate his terms of using the bible. Crap. Okay. Alright. Fine. If you could figure out a way around that, I'll let you have it. Alright. Secular versus Solomon. Logical trap. The question is where is our where is our wisdom coming from? A lot of times we we hear some pithy saying and we say the lord must have deemed it, but instead it was Ben Franklin

or we read it out of a fortune cookie. And so secular versus Solomon gives us a chance to examine this wisdom to decide is this from the lord or is it from a secular source? And if it's from a secular source, what's the country of origin? Can we fish out where this wisdom is apparently coming from? And remember, specifically country of origin. Dan, that's aimed at you. Yeah. Dan, that really is aimed at you. I don't know why you would say that out loud. I don't know either. Okay. Having flashbacks. You're gonna have to give me a little breath because I'm gonna I'm gonna do a thing when it's my turn to answer. I'm ready. Wait. I would you're not gonna do it yet? No. Okay. I'm gonna give you a heads up. Okay. It doesn't matter what I answer. After I answer, I'm gonna go I don't like that at all. That's like your own theme. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a musical where every time Mike enters the room, that particular note plays. Don't have to explain what's happening to me. Yeah. I just don't like it. If you played it and I said, Mike's here. Yeah. Sure. That okay. I'm ready. Just a test run.

That is secular. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We're gonna hate that about That goes down smooth. Yeah. That That goes down smooth. That's gonna be great. That's like vinegar to teeth and smoke to the eyes. So is the slugger to those who send him. And olive oil in your coffee. Did anybody try that? No. You should not be drinking that much fat. Well, I I've hear it give you That's good fat. I think it gives you Good fats or not. Yes. That's what I heard. Your body is not ready for that. Okay. Dan, are you ever tempted by these coffee drinks? You're only auto you're you're not a coffee man, but you ever looked at any of these and go, oh, wow. I might try that. You don't go, oh, the chocolate hazelnut butter cookie? Nope. I I I've tried, like, one, and I'm like, nope. Still there's still coffee. I still don't care for this. Okay. Still don't care chocolate without the coffee, but you very much have been happier. Just just I'll take a mocha, hold the coffee, and the milk for that matter. Here we go. Hot chocolate. Whipped cream? Can you squeeze Bosco straight into my mouth, please? Okay.

Here we go. Secular or Solomon starting with Dan. A drowning man is not troubled by rain. A drowning man is not troubled by rain, Secular Solomon. Yeah. That that I'm gonna say that's Drowning man. I'm gonna say that is secular, and I'm trying to think of where this could possibly be. Dan's just trying to think of a country. Think of a country. It's gonna be it's gonna be it's gonna be Canada,

specifically in the Niagara Falls area. K. Okay. Yeah. Niagara, Canada. We haven't done this in so long. Got it. Dan starts off going, Canada, specifically Niagara Falls. Cisco big or go home. Right on the water. You get the mist off of the falls. Moova, a drowning man is not troubled by rain. I'm gonna go secular Guatemala. K. Mike, I'm gonna go secular

Spain. Beep. Turn the page. Alright. You're on page 39. A drowning man is not troubled by rain. That is indeed secular. The answer is Iran. Yes. Iran. That's close to Canada. So far away. Okay. You get get the joke, Ben? He said I ran so far away.

Oh, no. I I was tickled about it. I wanted to give the audience room to laugh themselves. I didn't wanna dominate it. Why don't we have a laugh track? That would be so handy. We'd use it all the time. You would? Yep. Okay. Evidence exhibit a as to why we do not get the privilege of a laugh track. If you could please call us on the live for the past complaint or the Bob Eisenhower complaint line, please record a laugh track for us. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's a great idea. What just happened over there? Sorry. I had my finger in the wrong spot. If you have a unique laugh or, like, you think you would have a good laugh track kinda laugh, you should call us on the Bob Eisenhower live live for the path complaint line. Yeah. And then leave us a voice mail that we can use as a laugh track. That's I'd be willing to do that. If you guys leave me some good laughs, I will take the audio, and I'll use it as a random laugh track here on this on the show. But if you identify yourself on that voice mail and you have a bad laugh, we will make fun of you. I won't do that. No. I certainly wouldn't. That's not in the proverbs. Dan, you do that. I would not I would not do that. Oh, I will I will absolutely make fun of you. Self centered rude. Yeah. I told you about my generation. It's my my my my generation.

Okay. Secular or Solomon Buva, a Solomon. K. Mike, that way, are we not guessing chapters? Oh, we have another Proverbs 12. You arrogant beast. Yeah. Oh, I knew that was coming. Let's play that laugh track. I'm gonna call in to think of playing by it for sure. I know you are. I'm waiting for the for the the text message that says to me we got a voice mail. Yeah. My name is Bubba. Okay.

I'm gonna go with, yeah, Solomon. So I'm gonna say Proverbs 27. Dan, slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. It is Solomon Proverbs nineteen twenty two. Oh. Oh, the year of our lord. That's a slack hand causes poverty, the of the diligent makes rich. That is Solomon Proverbs ten four. Ah, I must. The old good buddy proverb. Good buddy. God.

Breaker. Breaker. The year of our lord 1922. Alright. Secular or Solomon. Mike, whoever works in integrity works securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. Oh, yeah. That's Solomon for sure. I'm gonna say Proverbs 18. Dan, secular or Solomon? Solomon Solomon chapter 16.

Solomon chapter 16? I mean, Proverbs. Solomon. Proverbs chapter 16. I'll take the whole Solomon book four. It's gonna be good. Proverbs seven. I knew what I meant. I'm gonna go Solomon Proverbs seven. Oh, man. We gotta we gotta we've been out of we're out of touch with the game. We don't have to do it right. Solomon 11. Let's see. Whoever works in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked

will be found out. The answer is Solomon Proverbs ten nine. Now I want you to I want you to notice a pattern here, boys. Think about this. Seeing. I'm seeing. I get to the show late. I say, you gotta put a secular Solomon together. I start making my way likely sequentially through the Proverbs. So next one will be proverbs 11. It's something to think about. Something to think about. Alright. Secular or Solomon back to Dan. A monkey. What? A what? A monkey. I guess Solomon had the monkeys come in on ships. Okay. Because he asked you about the monkeys with her. Totally. Secular. I didn't even I can't even do it right. Secular Solomon,

slipper ground does not recognize a king. Slipper ground? Slippery ground. Slippery ground. You said slipper ground. That's what I wrote. I'm pretty sure the word is slippery It has to be slippery. Yeah. Oh, so it does not recognize a king. Yes. You're correct. Denmark. That is a secular. Secular? Denmark. Slippery ground doesn't recognize a king. Yeah. I don't get it. It doesn't it doesn't care whether a king walks on it or whether it's a prisoner. You won't slip the ice. It's personification of the ground. Yeah. I'm gonna go secular Canada, specifically Quebec. That tickled Dan. Dan's like, he's got the same humor as me. I I was hanging out in the Niagara Falls there for a minute. Alright. Secular or soloing Mike.

I'm gonna go secular, I think, and Germany. Slippery ground does not recognize the king. The answer is secular Kenya. Kenya. That was very close. They don't have any slippery ground in Kenya. What are talking about? Except in the rainy season. Except for the really, really bad rainy season. Yeah. Mean, you know It's it's pretty slippery. That whole thing. Alright. Recognize a king. I'll tell you that much. They could, but I really drowned it. Don't play it.

Secular or Solomon Buva. With his mouth, the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge, the righteous are delivered. Solomon, Proverbs 12. Mike? Solomon, Proverbs eleven two.

10? Sol Solomon, Proverbs twelve sixteen. Oh. With his mouth, the godless man would just like his Oh. What a great guest, Dave. Oh, he's a

oh, boy. Can I get a Proverbs 12? It was the most non Canada answer I've heard from Dan. Alright. Oh. With his mouth, the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge, the righteous are delivered. It is Solomon Proverbs eleven nine. Dang it. Oh. I skipped too far ahead. Don't think you'd go chapter to chapter. Too big of a leap. Thank you. Too big leaps. Dua leapers. Secular or Solomon Mike, a monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. Where

are you going? Dad already. A monkey. I got I got I moved on from it. Came back. The room had to die down. A monkey never thinks its baby's ugly. Right. That is gonna be secular and Brazil. Dan, a monkey never thinks her baby's ugly. Yes. That's secular. We're gonna go Mozambique. Mozambique. How exotic. Moova. Hit us with your guess. Secular India. How lame.

How very mainstream. How mainstream? What does that even mean? Yeah. How gauche and predictable. That's mid. Gauche. That's what I wanted. I was gonna say. How gauche should predict. You're gauche simpleton. It's Macaber. Secular or Solomon, a monkey never thinks her baby is ugly. Secular

Haiti. Haiti. Secular Haiti. Dan, were you questioning whether that was a country? No. No. I was trying to think, do they have monkeys in Haiti? I guess I haven't been to Haiti, but It's been a problem. You that was beyond that you would consider yourself the expert to answer that question. I've never once seen a monkey in Haiti. Probably part of the government. There's there's a whole bay of pigs down there. It's Cuba.

It's close to Haiti. Still a different country. Cuba. Very famously Cuba. Bay full of pigs. You know JFK when you dealt with Haiti and the Bay Of Pigs? I found that phrase so confusing when I was a younger man. The Bay Of Pigs? I said, yes. I'm like, what a sight. Where did they come from? I thought the Russians had brought, like, a bunch of pigs in, and I'm like Why don't they let them free? These pigs have been eating nothing but raw or uronia. I just kept thinking JFK and his big presidential desk going, what are we gonna do about this? What are gonna do about these pigs?

These pigs have missiles on them. It's crazy. We can't get our boats past the swine. Actually, it was funny. It's a porcade. I think and I said this out loud one time, I think to no reaction in the room, but, like, when Jesus cast the demons outside, he created a bay of pigs. They ran. Yeah. They ran. Jesus made the first bay of pigs. He was the originator. Alright. Secular or Solomon, Mike, whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor. Proverbs eleven two.

The exact one you said last time. I was wrong last time. That's true. Eleven nine. Who's ahead of the time? He's got a slightly better chance of getting it right this time because he at least knows which one is not Proverbs eleven two, and that was the last valid. President of right rules. I'm under. Dan. That would be Solomon Proverbs twelve one. Oh, Dan says twelve one. Boova. Solomon Proverbs 12. Are you gonna be like this the whole time? What? Me? Yeah. And for about thirteen years now. Okay. Whoever despised the sinner is a sinner,

but blessed is he who is generous to the poor. Solomon, Proverbs fourteen twenty one. It's taking a skip and a jump. Had the 21. Here's what I'm a tell you. I may have collected them in order, but I don't have to read them in order. Oh, you led us astray, you suckers. Yeah. You're like that that grandma that dresses like a wolf. Sick. You're like that grandma that dresses like a wolf. Yeah. Yeah. You mean the wolf that dresses like a grandma? Yeah. I don't know what story you read, but Ben is acting like the other one. I like wolves. Grandmas, I find, just funny. It's a little boy who cried grandma. Little little red riding that's hanging out with a wolf, and it turns out to be a grandma.

What an interesting story. Little pig, little pig, me come in. That's the grandma doing it, booba, instead of a confusing stories. Well, guess the wolf Now we're the three little pigs? Yeah. Because if the if the wolf was the grandma, the grandma is the wolf. And so she did the wolf bit in the three little pigs. Keep up with the times. Except the the pigs were in a bay. Yeah. Yeah. Laugh track. Secular Solomon, Mike, hunger is the best sauce. I was the I was the first last time. Threw it three times now. Dan, hunger is the best sauce. Secular Solomon. That is Solomon cactus bobs. What? And there it was.

A secular f Scott sound. Yeah. America. The American South. Okay. Okay. I I'm I'm not gonna accept cactus Bob. I'm gonna swap that out for new new Finland. New Finland? Corral. Yeah. New New are you trying to say Newfoundland? Newfoundland. Yeah. Did you because I didn't accent the right piece? No. You made it sound like there's a there's a place named after Finland that's new, and it's newfound land. It's not probably problem that it's pronounced the same. You're just not from there. Lvl. You're not saying it right. Lvl.

Lvl. Lvl. Y'all been y'all been down to Nolens? Okay. But, booba, keep stay on the tracks. What what was that? What in tarnation booba, were stay on the tracks. We're all broken. We're all broken. What was happening here? I'm gonna go secular, and I'm gonna go Jamaica. I'm I'm definitely close. Could play long. Poor

Rubble. Rubble. Rubble. Rubble. I'm going secular and the original Finland. Old Finland. Old Finland. Alright. Hunger is the best sauce that is indeed secular Rome. Wow. Rome. They didn't have sauce in Rome. Little sauce there. Or Romesco though. That's the thing. Gross.

I hope that kids edit it out somehow. I don't know. You just almost ate your mic like a camel. That's what a yawn sounds like. Problems. Secular or Solomon. Buba, the bear and the bear hunter have different opinions. The bear and the bear hunter have different opinions. Secular or Solomon. I'm gonna go secular, and I'm gonna say Russia. You would.

Mean, I wasn't gonna guess that. But just to show you what's what, I'm gonna go to ban to ban. Going to secular, and I'm going Ukraine. Oh. Oh, contested regions. Dan Hudson. The bear and the bear hunter have different opinions. Yeah. Secular Cabela's. That's a that's a secular,

and it's gotta be Yugoslavia. Yugoslavia. All of us are Eastern Europe. No. I'm with Dan on that. I think I feel good about that guess, actually. Yeah. The bear and the bear hunter have different opinions. Secular Norway. Norway. That's really close Yeah. To what I said. Alright. Yeah. We'll see how it ends. What do you got? One more? Yeah. Mike, here we go. Tie us off here. Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down,

but a good word makes him glad. Secular Solomon. I'm gonna go Solomon, and I'm gonna say that's Proverbs chapter 18. Oh. So glad for that to be done. Oh, this this this game is, like, another ten minutes with these with the two. Right. It's a good word. Makes people happy. Dan Hudson. That is that is a a Solomon

writing from the book of Proverbs chapter 17 and verse 13. Sweet Moses. Alright. Followed by a period. Colin. An Oxford cover. In the time of Asaph. I'm gonna go Solomon Proverbs 16 verse 12.

Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad that the answer is Solomon Proverbs twelve twenty five. Yes. Thank you. I didn't I didn't like it. That was you just having gone through America's fastest growing Internet game show, Asterisk Unproven, and as Boo Boo would call it, the French silk of the pie world. I mean, was favorite pie. Secular versus Solomon. You can find more secular versus Solomon by going to lifeinthepath.org

searching secular versus Solomon, and various clips and shenanigans will show up in there, and you can watch take your shot and see how good you are at biblical wisdom or a guessing random geography. Either way, what a skill. I would lead for it on your what's what's a non skizy Tinder type profile? Woah. Farmersonly.com. Christian dating. Christian Mingle. Yeah. That's not skeezy at all. It's really the worst. Go with farm Farmers Only. That's where you should go.

Farmers Only dot com. Just something about you telling me to go to farmersonly is wrong. Should go right down. By the way, if you listen to those shows from the past, none of them will feature Mike doing that guitar bit. That's that's new to this episode. I mean, we had to try something out. Yeah. The show's getting old. Did we? I don't know. Before I get a copyright hit for that. Oh, yeah. Sure. Hey. Would you say that we've gained viewers year over year? Yeah. Okay. Good. Yeah. Well, then we don't need to change up nothing. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. You gotta stick with conversation there, Mike. I was just thinking about that. Hey, Ben. How great are we? Well, I'm just thinking so I don't know if we're great. I didn't say that. I'm just saying if my if, like, the random ideas about playing guitar theme music, we're gonna tank the show, then I would feel bad. But so far, it looks like every decision we've ever made is solid gold. Yeah. I mean, we've got a pretty long sample size. So Yeah. We're like a stock market that never goes down. Yeah. It's like pollution, really. It's been a steady incline for years. Yeah. And so that's us. We're the same as pollution. You ready for this thing? No. No. BUVA's got a story about his effluvium. Oh, yeah. What? Stop saying that. I don't know what that means. Okay. You say you tell the story, and then we'll we'll see whether it pans out or not. It's not really a story. It's a question. Okay. It's question. It's a question from Buva. Speak it. If there's a an item on sale Yeah. At a store Yep. And you

like to take advantage of said item, like, more than the average person, are you is it are you are you a schmuck for doing that? Like, if something's on sale for a buck and you buy, like, four or five, six of them, stock it up, is that a big deal? Like, are you a jerk? Yeah. I don't know. It depends on the item. What item would you be a jerk, and what item would you not be a jerk? Hold on. You it's an it's a it's a if it's an on sale item, just make sure I got the preference right. Yep. It's on sale. It's a really good bargain. Yeah. Great bargain. So you buy a lot. You buy a lot. Yeah. And is that a defensive? Yeah. No. Is it a schmuck mover to the people around you? There Is anybody waiting to do one to have one? I don't know about waiting, but they're conscious that you've taken more than most would. Yeah. But did they want any? I mean, they're trying to get rid of them. They're on sale. Yeah.

Yeah. I have Do you any moral obligation to the people at the place you're frequenting? Okay. Let's think about it this way. Yeah. Let's say that they were giving away Xboxes and they were on deep discount. Instead of being whatever they cost, they were $10 an Xbox. Yeah. Do

I think you're a jerk for buying five of them when you could legitimately only play one Xbox at a time? Yes. And there's people that would also benefit from the amazingly priced Xbox around you. Yes. I would consider you to be a jerk. So in a doorbuster situation, you're a schmuck. Yeah. But okay. What if what if the same thing were true for a Clark bar? It's a consumable. Then I then not as big of a deal. Okay. Yeah. Then you could do it. Yeah. Five Clark bars. Okay. Now let's let's complicate this. K. What if you took more Clark bars than most people would have, and people can't get Clark bars because of the amount of Clark bars you just took.

Like, anywhere? No. Like, it yes. I am Veruca Salt, and my father has just purchased Oop. A literal factory's worth of Clark bars, and I am a spoiled rotten brat. No. Just in the immediate vicinity of the stores. Serve. Can do what you want. Yeah. I don't think this is a problem. I mean, if someone was waiting if someone was, like, hanging up behind me saying, wow. It's a good deal in Clark bars. I might go, hey, man. I was gonna get some. You want any of these? Yes. That's fair. Yeah. But there there's no conversation. There's just stairs. Let me ask you this question. Is it enough that may have required a basket?

Not if you have big hands. Yeah. So you could fit this number of Clark bars or other items with, like, 15. You have no idea how many Clark bars I can hold at the time. Let me ask you this question. What were you buying and how many? It was hot dogs. And how many? They're they're on sale for a dollar. At Costco. No. At at at the Hy Vee fast and fresh. There are other reasons not to Now hold on. You cleaned out the roller dogs. I didn't clean them out. It takes them another fifteen minutes to cook more. I know. That's why I was asking if there's a threshold. What time? It's, like, two. That's past lunchtime. Your lunch rush has happened. It was I took four. I didn't eat four hot dogs in a row. I ate two, and I was driving around listening to an audiobook knowing I was gonna eat in a couple hours, and I already had the two $1 hot dogs. You ate a two two hour old hot dogs?

That's gross. Mike, I need you to realize bad enough fresh that's not even the worst thing I ate that day. So, like, I don't know I don't know what you're looking for here. It definitely wasn't the worst I've done. I have never gotten a future hot dog in my whole life. I've never That definitely puts it in perspective. I've never Like, I very easily could've just went back to another IV Fast and Fresh a couple hours later and bought two more. I just figured I'm already in here. I'm stocking up on drinks and dogs. I'll see you in a few, good buddy. Hotdog is about a future item. It it has been shelf life for fifteen minutes after you bought it. Here's the needs to go. Here's the deal. If you're the kind of fella Me. That's willing to eat the dogs at any time, why does it really even matter if it's been a couple hours? It's still gas station roller hot dogs. At least you're keeping up we're not talking about filet mignon that I left in my seat. But you're keeping up the charade, I guess, that you got a meal of hot off the warmer. And then something that we normally serve warm, you took No. And put in your car for two hours and ate No. Un untreated. There's no charade. I know what I've done. I

knew what I was doing when I did it, and I knew what I did when it was done. Remember when I said that god is calling you to better and you're selling for the best that you could offer? $1 hotdog to the sweet is a two hour old hot dog in your best are are living. Okay? You're missing out, fellas. Beef Franks are living, and I don't even put any condiments on them. Shit. I'm with the rabble. You're wrong. Alright. Fine. You did wrong. Thanks. I don't know. I had I gotta look is why I'm asking about this. Okay. I don't think they were looking at you to be fair because You don't know my life. They were dollar hot dogs and you took four because they were a bargain. They looked at you because you are of a man of your physical appearance walking away with four hot dogs and they went, oh. Oh. It's true. He's gonna eat all those It's a valid point. But I've been staring at he'll do for supper. He's certainly not saving those for future use. Damn.

02:00. Is that his midafternoon snack? Dang it. I didn't think about it like that. He just ate a child in the parking lot. Did you see that guy walk in here saying feet five foot pump? That was crazy. He washed it down with a gas pump. What a super on there. E 85. Yeah. What a monkey. What a what a monkey situation.

85 reasons to be drinking this. Oh, man. Okay. That's probably a valid point. Yeah. I've I've definitely done worse. Like, I'm not proud of that, Mike. Who has a future on I just never thought, hey, man. I'll eat this hot dog later. Just thought to myself I just thought to myself, I'm gonna be hungry in a few hours. I might as well just get the dogs now. I don't wanna be in the streets. Yeah. It is it is a It's a dodgers situation. Lose a run out of the other night, you're fast and fresh. I appreciate this caricature of a man that you created me to be. You're literally driving around listening to an audiobook. You could stop anywhere,

and instead you doomsday prep on hot dogs. I'm okay. You're more than this, Mubarak. I can I can see the folly of my ways? I can see where you're coming from that future hot dogs maybe isn't a great deal. That'd be a hard no. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Well, apparently, I have no standards in what I eat, and I'm perfectly fine, like, future prepping with some hot dogs about, like, what am I gonna do in two hours? What if they're out? Yeah. I've I I I'm gonna tell you something. I've bought a hot dog from a roller before, put ketchup and mustard on it, put it in my car, forgot about it for for ten, fifteen minutes, and then looked over at it and thought, no. No. No. This is too far gone. It staged out of the farm system. Yeah. You pretty much open the package on the way to the car and start eating that out car. When I write my memoirs called table for one, please, I'm going to give you the the advanced copies so you can read them and and see how low you can get when it comes to gas station hot dogs. Chapter 14, future hot dog.

I have I have gone to a a gas station at the end of watch, if you will, when, when all the roller dogs are about to be retired or dropped into the trash and asked while they were being collected to be put into said trash. Hey, man. Can I just get those? And I have then taken those home, put them in Ziploc bags, and then eaten them throughout the week. I've also done that where I got, like, 15 of them, and I chopped them up and put them into mac and cheese when I got home. That's delicious. That's just thrifty. Right. None of that Oh, so that's thrifty, but future dogs is the problem. Got it. Future dogs is the problem. Okay. Alright. That's what I got. Yeah. Prudence and poverty are two different things. And the I've been in both. Yep. I walked that line, friend. Because you're mine. I thought this story that before the show started, you said the story was about a guy sniffing you. No. I said I wasn't. Oh gosh. I said I wasn't gonna say that because I didn't trust any of you, and I don't trust Dan to be able to hear a story like that and not say something that's gonna get us canceled. I don't know what you mean by that. No. I don't that that's surprising part. Dan's like, you just try me. Dan's like, I'm a sensible fellow. I'm a sensible fellow that can take that kind of story in the world. Yeah. I was at I was at the same gas station, actually. I freak I freak with this place. Cat clone.

And I went up, and I think I might have been buying future dogs if I'm being real honest about it. That's that's a common enough occurrence that it's happened in two stories in one night. I was at the same place buying future dogs in a sparkling water, and from across the counter, the man said, you smell nice. What's that cologne? And I was like, we could've we we could've just gone on without this happening at all. Like, we didn't have to talk about this at all. And I went, oh, it's hang it. It's not cologne. It's, like, Bath and Body Works or something. He goes, oh, which scent? And I'm like, we don't need to continue this. But I went, it's bourbon. And he goes, I like bourbon. I use ocean. And I'm like, oh, this is a whole conversation we're having now to where we're comparing scents. I'm like, yeah. I know ocean. It's a good scent. And he goes, maybe I should switch to the bourbon, Oh. And I'm like, I don't know if we need to continue this conversation at all. Have some with me. And he just right. Like, I'll give him a free sample. Like, here, buddy. You wanna smell like me? Here you go. No. It was it was terrifying. I felt like I was an Old Spice commercial, and I hated it. And I was like, I've never in my life been the guy I'm the guy that people stare at getting four hot dogs that they're like, oh, I wonder what dinner looks like. I'm not the guy that's like, oh,

deliciousness. What are you exuding, sir? I'd like to have you home for dinner. Right. Oh, thanks, Dan. Yep. Here we go. Yep. Here we go. And boom boom was right. Took about forty five seconds we're in. Danimal the animal. I love it. It goes, I would never do well, I guess I did. I guess I did. No. No. What are talking about? I'd like to take Don't do that next time. Yeah. Okay. So that in the same week, I I did future hot dogs and smelled by a man. I don't I don't think I would ever do that. I don't would never wanna give another man an impression that I wanted to dress like him, smell like him. Yeah. Like, I don't where do you shop? Never would ask somebody that. What kind of deal True. Kind of shampoo you use? I wouldn't ask any of these guys. I would would pay good money to watch you do that, though. Oh, I wouldn't. Like, I would watch a TV show that was just you walking up to other fellas and going, was that bergamot? And the guy's like, what? That is delightful what you're wearing today, sir. That is incredible, isn't Chanel number nine? You're like sunshine to the nose.

Oh, you daisy of a man. The I I my my wife though has at least twice tried to get me to go ask another man where he bought his pants. She's like and then then I'm in a weird spot because it's either I do it or she's gonna do it. I'm like, I don't want you talking about his pants either because I I could just see her going after and ask this guy, hey. Where'd you get those pants? Because, obviously, she's asking because she thinks they're looking like a nice pair of pants. Yeah. And this guy gonna feel real righteous about himself. Like, his two cheeks are putting on a program back there. Cheeks are not a program. Denim. And so then I gotta go do it. I'm like, I'm not doing it because that feels real hey. Hey. I noticed your pants, sir. I was looking at your legs, and I want my legs to look like your legs. Okay. I not to keep us postponed here, but, like, there's a situation in which I feel like I've thought to go up and talk to a man. And it's because big guys just do not know how to dress most of the time. Mhmm. And, like Well, they're not given much choice. Well, here's the deal. Like, I I don't think I dress nicely, but, like, I also don't look like I'm trying to play magic the gathering at all times. And so, like, there's some fellas that I'm like, you chose that hairstyle.

Like, you are a balding, very overweight man that is wearing a T shirt that's down to your knees with flip flops and gym shorts, and you have a balding ponytail. You have chosen all of these things today when you very easily could have just worn a shirt that fit better, gotten some pants that weren't weird looking, put on legitimate shoes because nobody wants to see a big man's gross feet. Yeah. I wear shoes for that reason. Right? Like, I wear I wear well fitting clothes most of the time. And, like, sometimes I just wanna walk up to guys and be like, hey, man. I get it. Like, I'm a big guy too. I've been where you're at. I'm actually much bigger than you are. Like, you're actually tying the same picture to me. Right. Yeah. Like, what is wrong with you? What are you doing to me? Like, you've chosen this. And, like, if you smell bad, if you legitimately are in a situation where, like, you can't afford the toiletries, all the different stuff, like, I understand their extenuating circumstances. But most of the time, it's like, hey, buddy. Like, we know how many Cheetos got you to where you are. So, like, we should talk about how many showers it would take to get you out of it. Uh-huh. And, like, maybe it's two a day. Maybe it's three a day during lunchtime depending on the situation. Like, have you had a particularly rough morning? Is it kung pao chicken day? Right. Exactly.

Right. Like, you know I can see the food on your face. Why can't you? And, like, I'm not trying to make fun of bigger dudes. Obviously, I'm a big guy and have been my whole life. But, like, there's just there's there's choices that can be made on top of it that go, like, I could still be somewhat presentable to society. Mhmm. And, like, I don't have to look like a Simpsons character. Like, you can you can you can make better choices. I'm sorry. Don't cancel me because I got on big guys, but I'm just saying. I've only ever asked anybody these questions in the negative. Like, are you out of deodorant? Yeah. You just assume. Or do you need to borrow money for pants? Like, always on the negative and if I'm giving, like, somebody a hard time because they stink. Right. Like, I would never say you smell nice, but I would definitely say you smell like a shoe sole. You know? Like, what happened? You smell like after shaving coffee. Good reason why you're gross right now. And if you need help rectifying it. Maybe you and I should just go out into the world and have these kind of conversations. There a good reason the hot dog won't you're gross right now? Yes. That's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna be that's my mission now. I'm gonna hang out by the hot dog aquarium, and then I'm gonna help out all these guys. Oh, look at those that aren't ready yet. Like

There's like a we're gonna move the sign in five minutes. Oh, we gotta wait we gotta wait and watch that. They're gonna move that little comb. Still cooking? Not on my watch. Oh, no. Okay. You ready? Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do it. Dear life from the past, I am a mature, divorced woman living with my boyfriend for the past two years. Time out. Never mind. Go ahead. We have a good life in general. We live in a nice home and a great community. My problem is he isn't capable of showing as much attention as I need.

I grew up in a family in which affection was not demonstrated physically or verb oh, he grew up in a family in which affection was not demonstrated physically or verbally. He claims he is the same way, but will, Quotes, work on it. His temporary efforts are nice, but they don't last long and things return to, Quotes, business as usual. Our sex life works in a mechanical kinda way, but there is no, Quotes, lovemaking as part of it. Oh my. How do I maintain being understanding towards the situation? Should we part ways because my needs aren't being met? He's a good man, and the lack of affection is the only thing missing. What's your bellwether for a good man? Man. Yeah. Like, he doesn't hit you and isn't as bad as your ex husband? I'm a tell you what this smells like. Bergamot.

This smells like bergamot and a roller dog. Patchouli. This sounds like a middle aged dude complaining that about his sex life because he's been watching a bunch of porn. This is a woman. Listen. In the same breath Or was? It sounds like a woman who's been reading a bunch of novels Oh, okay. And books and idealized,

like, what this what a man is supposed to going to be able to do. And then this dude who, like, ticks all the boxes, he's a he's a great friend of yours. He's supportive. And he he I mean, he's just not, like, wildly passionate. I just I'm just wanting to make sure that you're giving this dude a fair swing. Right? Like, obviously Well, I think she's given him plenty. That's the problem. Yeah. Yeah. There it says Premarital affairs out. Yep. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That is I mean, I think we would all go with that. Yes. But I I yeah. Obviously, we're not foundation we're not foundationally on the same page. No. Yeah. He's not hunting because he's she's given him nothing to hunt for.

Are you giving us the classic why buy the cow when the milk's free? I guess so. Okay. Yeah. I mean Okay. Well but hold on. Her critique is not her critique is that his his actions in that department are robotic. Well, her critique is that he's not showing her affection. Like, he she said that his family he did not grow up being physically or emotionally affectionate. He attempts to do so and works on it, but it doesn't last very long. Yeah. And so, like, he's he's recognized

and and acknowledged that she needs this to the extent that he was willing to do it for a short period of time. Yeah. And then through circumstances whether he attempted and it wasn't, like, reciprocated at all and or appreciated at all, whatever, could be plenty of things that she didn't do in the times that he was trying, but there's also a possibility that, like, he cared enough in that moment and then it did not last long enough because he doesn't care enough in the relationship. Yeah. Oh, I mean, if I And both could be wrong. If I yeah. If I'm gonna give him the benefit of doubt, I'm gonna like, well, what? I Dan's not wrong. Like, they should I I wouldn't consider this a mature relationship. I I get it. As you're as you are older, you've moved into what the final thing should look like without taking the necessary middle steps. Right. I I would say, like, that thing can be worked on. Right? Like, there's

I don't know. Without going into too much detail, like, there's there's ways for this to continue to be bet like, change Yeah. For the man to learn, for things to get better, but they need to be done within a safe, committed relationship. And to the extent that you guys are lodging together but you're not married, you've not created the situation where ultimate safety exists. Yeah. And so I I don't know what the premise of that is. If it's if it's because you're carrying around hurt from past relationship, then you need to deal with that Yep. Before you start critiquing the current relationship you're in because it's I I I would suspect that it's sneaking in a bit. But, yeah, I I would say, first, get yourselves married and so, like, everybody feels real safe and comfortable. And, and then, you know, you need to help them along. It's it's not crazy that two people within a relationship have different needs in multiple different areas, levels of attention, like, whatever. And it is a it is a long term dance of compromise to try to get people who don't agree on levels of things to get into the same spot. Right? Oftentimes, it's it's actually coming from the other direction. A man wants more attention, more time, more frequency of of things like that. And it takes,

twenty years to otherwise, make that come to where where they want it to. And then all of a sudden, the dude starts to wane and the lady's in. Like, it's just kind of a biological thing that's around it. And so it's just a it's a compromised dance, and I think it it can be worked through, if if that's the core thing. If he recognizes that he's willing to work on it, but he's not very good at it, that's a way different situation than, like Agreed. He wants out unreasonable or whatever. But I I I would strongly advocate that the, safety of that relationship and the commitment of it allows those things to be done without the kind of this constant looming of do I stay with him or do I do I make requests that, like, might offend them that they might wanna cut it off or whatever? Like, that's that's where I think you gotta build in the ultimate buffer and then go to town and work on getting it figured out. Secular says,

oh, the question was, should I leave? Like, should we part ways because my needs aren't being met? He's a good man, and the lack of affection is the only thing mixing. Secular says, try this. Fill your boyfriend to the brim with love and affection, and what spills over may come back to you. Communication is key. Tell him you love him often and be physically demonstrative. If you need affection, ask for it. The kind of spontaneous demonstration of affection you crave were never patterned for him during his formative years, so he will have to be taught everything. Please try it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Yeah. I think that's true. And I do think maybe just in general, ladies, there's all kinds of things that you want your fellow to do

in all different parts of your your marriage. And you you consider it a failure of his that you had to mention it. But just just think about it. Like, you're you're two different people. The thing that is on your mind may not be the thing that is on his mind. And so it is not a failure to mention it. It is the thing that actually makes it so it can happen. It'll take a while. I'll give you a good example. This actually this happened, I don't know, a few months ago. We have two we have two windows in our bedroom. And apparently I say apparently for as long as we've lived in my house, when my wife comes up and goes to bed, she shuts the curtain on one of the windows.

There's one that faces the neighbor. They got a barn and there's a big light there. I can't tell you I've noticed. I can't the light was there, but I I couldn't tell you that she shuts it, like, how it gets shut. Somebody maintenance is this curtain, but I never thought about it. And she brought it up a few months ago. She goes, you you were up here. I usually get into bed before her. And she's like, you know, every night I come in here and I gotta shut this curtain. I said, oh, I didn't even know that was something we were after. We want this curtain shut every night? She goes, yeah. I'm like, no problem. And I've been nailing it. Like every night, just one gallon to shut the curtain. Right? I can totally do this. It just did not occur to me. If I if I got to bed and I looked up and the curtain was shut, I'd just have been like or or or open still. Like, that's probably gonna be fine. I'm gonna sleep. What do I care? Right. Right. It just but but what she said something and what she wanted was for me to just come upstairs and and just do it. That would have been her ideal situation. I literally had not thought about it at all. And so I that one's it's an innocuous example. But, like, before you called you think of your man as as inattentive or failing or not being conscious of your needs, like, he's gonna need to hear about them way more than you think he should. You're gonna have to remind him. You're gonna have to articulate them to him, because they're just they're not on his mind like you're on they're on your mind. And fellas, I would say the the same thing. Sometimes you want something to happen or you think your wife should be thinking about something. Then she starts doing a bunch of other stuff in the house and you're like, hey, we're supposed to watch a movie together. But she's

folding the laundry. Maybe she doesn't want to spend time with me. I wouldn't presume that. She just got a bunch of stuff on her mind. Usually, hey. Are we gonna spend you know, go watch a movie together? Oh, yeah. Let me tuck this up, and then I'll be right there. You know what I'm saying? Like, the communication part is important. Don't assume that people are think doing a negative thing to you. They they they just they they don't have the same things on their mind that you do. K. One more. Ready? Yep. Dear life from the path. Yep. My sister and I have always had a decent relationship. But for about the last two years, we haven't communicated with each other. I recently learned that she and her husband had a baby three months ago, making me an uncle. This is their fourth child, and they just announced the child's name. What's bothering me is that I got the information through a general Facebook post. I was never contacted to be told I was about to become an uncle again. Should I be upset about this? I'm the only brother and family member left. Yeah. Them having a baby is definitely about you. I would go over to their house and demand that you are kept more up to date. It's their fourth kid. You aren't just becoming an uncle. You've been an uncle. Right. And, apparently, you haven't talked to the other three kids for two years. I don't think you've earned a huge standing.

Yeah. There's there's something weird. Because, like, we were super close, and then two years ago, we stopped talking to each other. That that doesn't just like, oh, I lost your number and then forgot to try and get it back. I forgot. Like, you're on Facebook, which means, like, we've had the possibility of communication for two years, but we haven't. You're simplifying something that either you just didn't know happened or are not telling us this and and wanna seem like a victim. Yeah. Maybe maybe you guys don't have anything to talk about. Right? Like, you brother and sister, I mean, if you if if it doesn't if something doesn't cross your mind, like, in a week to, like, you know, send them a video or, like, remember that time that mom and dad blah blah blah did something stupid, something rather. Right? Like and this hasn't come up for two years. Maybe you're just not very close. I've gone a year without talking to a family member many times. For sure. And it wasn't even that impactful. I was just like, I just yeah. I remember you live and are alive. Yeah. I think you're you might create be creating a hurt based on, like, some idea that you should be hurt. Like, you don't even know if you actually are hurt, but you feel like you probably should be. Right. I'm an uncle. I should know about this, not from Facebook. Yeah. I mean, why don't you stop by there? Here's the thing. It's like all the onus is not on the people, like, on your sister and her husband, and, apparently, they got four kids. Like, that household got some stuff to do. And you're over there swinging over at your house like like creating hurt feelings because no one, like, gave you a personal call. I mean, why don't you stop by there? Check on them kids every once in a while. Be the fun uncle. Show up with some bikes. You know what I'm saying? Do something uncle. Be the fun uncle. Show up with some bikes. I mean, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're sounds like you suck as an uncle. That's what I'm getting And so if you or or have if you're ignoring the other kids for two years, what's the point of telling you about the fourth one? Be the funkle and show up with a karaoke machine. Yeah. I mean, even being casually involved with their lives, you within nine months, you'd figure out at some point, hey. You're gaining some weight there, sis. Hey, sis. You got fat. What happened? Yeah. Hadn't this happened before? Yeah. You should be seeing this at the little league games or school choir concert or something. That's a long time. Mean, there's a chance they don't live in the same area. Yeah. Well, I mean, if that's the case, then, yeah, they probably are are apart, and their relationship is not as close as it was, and that's okay. And that's normal. Yeah. Yeah. That's just regular. Yeah. I think you should I feel like you're you're creating a let's talk about me bubble Okay. Of that. I I think it's unnecessary. Alright. What's secular gonna say in that one? Woah. Let's talk about it some more.

What? Yeah. You don't get to move this thing along. I decide when we go to the secular's advice. When Ben says it in five seconds and we move on to that a little bit. I like it when Ben says it. Yeah. I can tell. It's actually That was the situation. Yeah. It's what you say. Never mind. Yep. Yep. I can feel that way. What does what does secular say about that? I think we should talk about this some more, actually. Secular says despite despite boofas and friends that we talked for longer. Much depends upon the reason you and your sister haven't been in contact for two years. Could you have had a falling out with her or her husband? Maybe. Have you tried communicating with her? She may have felt slighted or that you weren't interested in a closer relationship.

Because this has upset you, pick up the phone and straighten this out with your sister before you drift further apart than you already are. Half the blame for this may be yours, but you won't know for sure unless you ask. Hey, sis. This is bro. Is some of this blame on me? Yeah. Start just like that. Hey. I went back to your Myspace page, and I poked you, and you never sent anything to me. I just I learned about all your your big life happenings through general Facebook posts that you like, these are supposed to be your friends. That's what Facebook is. It's you say, these are my friends. They get to see all the things. Like, I mean, what you want? Like, a personal envelope letter? You named your baby Ezekiel? You named your kid Todd Sucks? Man, I think that was about me.

Oh, Todd. You would think that. You would think that. Yeah. That's the right question. Hey. Do you know any other Todds? I just wanna start there. Let's let's just start off there. Any other important Todds in your life? No. Okay. Yeah. Maybe you're calling him on accident, and you think it's your brother Todd, but it's really Todd Sukus. Yeah. That sucks. Alright. Thanks for hanging out with us tonight. You've been listening live from the Path. If you have any feedback for us on the show, you can give us a call on the old live from the Path complaint line. Here's what I'm a tell you. You went so long without giving any substantive response on the complaint line that they tried to shut it off. They said, hey. Are you sure This isn't even a working number anymore. Are you sure? Are you still there live from the path? And there's I mean, they're quick on it because I as I look back, I think we had some some texts towards the end of last year. Yeah. So it wasn't very long. But, just to keep us in the good graces of the phone company, if you could, give us some some feedback on live from the path, it's (515) 517-0085. Call or text or, start the the new year off right and give us the old, review. I looked on the Apple the Apple Podcast. We're not super extensively reviewed there.

We could we could use some help and get some get some play on the Apple Podcast. That's where most people it's the it's the top podcast provider. We are we're not not well represented. If I were to go on to Player FM, would I be able to review the podcast? I don't think the the other people the other have glaucoma who list use that service, and so they wouldn't be able to read it. Just lump me in with people who have glaucoma. Yeah. Yeah. That's the kind of people What a weird group to be lumped in here. That's it. Okay. Alright. That's me, I guess. You also have blue hair. Future hot dogs and glaucoma with boova. Alright. That's it. We're gonna cut you loose. Thanks for hanging out with us on Life From The Path. We hope to see you next time. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to Live From The Path.