Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live

And you're listening to Live For The Path coming from the Pathway studios here in Johnston Proper. Welcome welcome to the program. Do you know that when the Santa Claus like, back in the olden days when he was first Santa Claus, his catchphrase actually was but then they had to change it because they felt like he was, like, laughing at people all the time? Oh, man. I had heard that, actually.

I haven't. I just thought of that right now. Yeah. No. Yeah. What a coink, Nick. I I told that same story. Alright. You're listening to Life From The Path. Here's got going to the program tonight. I we we had been over the last, I don't know, few months of the show, been trying to tell, I don't know, more personal anecdotes and things. And the well will eventually run dry. We're not that interesting of people.

And so we do got a couple of things that are going on in the world around you that we might get to, and then we'll give some advice and hopefully get you get you on your way. And so that's the that's the goal of the program tonight. The the first thing on the docket so, like, maybe the question first question for the room, Had you guys read any books by Philip Yancey?

You know, I I think I put them on my list several times, and I I've, like, read quotes, but I don't know if I've ever sat down and actually read one of his whole books. Yeah. I'm not I'm never good with, like, the popular book at the moment. You know? I'm always like, which which tells you that's my whole life is kinda, so maybe I should be reading these guys. But Yeah. May you know, maybe maybe a good question too is, like because I haven't read any of Philip Yancey's books either, and I'm sure we're gonna get to the reason why Ben's asking that question. But, like He needs a haircut. Yeah. For yeah. It's it's wild for sure. It's real New York looking. Yeah. But, like, at, like, at the end of the day, like, have you have you been guilty

of idolizing is a strong word, but you know what I'm saying? Like, have you been guilty of maybe putting a preacher, teacher, musician, somebody up on a pedestal? And then when they fell, you're like, oh, man. Like,

if he can't make it, you know, what's what do I got? You know what I'm saying? Like, what what choices do I have? Are we just destined to screw this up? Yeah. I we asked the question on the show one time. This probably been years ago. But it was like, hey, if you found out these people were deconstructing or no longer Christians, like, who would hit you real hard? Would you be like, oh, man. Like, be and because I think the the trouble is is if you see somebody and you're like, okay, they are seeing the world the same way I am following Jesus.

The right balance of all the things that you need to keep in balance and consider about. And so when you see someone that looks like you or you have a belief, a kinship that you think looks like you, and then they gave up on Jesus, you're like, oh, man. Am I being fooled? Am I on the road to whatever this behavior is, or am I just sad? Yeah. And, like, like, even take it out of the celebrity realm, like, what if it was your, like Oh, yeah. What if it was your dad? Yeah. You know? Or, like, you're the pastor you had growing up or whatever. And you're like, come on. Yeah. You know? Like, we're out here trying to fight the good fight and, like, the general that inspired inspired you you to to breach breach the the the beaches at Normandy, and it turns out he's a turd. You know? And you're like, come on. You know? Oh, totally. Dan, did somebody jump to mind? No. What what jumped in my mind was I don't even remember who did this. When I was in my twenties or thirties, somebody preached this sermon, and it it stuck with me about finishing well. And they must have given examples of some contemporaries that didn't finish well, you know, and that had strong faith and all of sudden it all blew up. And I remember so since that time, I've always I mean, there's been times that's consciously gone through my mind, man, you've gotta finish well. Don't blow this. You have a certain reputation. You've kept your nose clean for, you know, decades. You you you know, I'm just not

that guy out there doing wild stuff. And and when the mind when the when the thought goes through my mind, hey. I should go do something wild. You know? I go, nope. You're gonna finish well, dude. And and it's I don't know. Something somebody helped me there, but, like, I remember when I was in, like, junior high, Jim Baker at the PTO club, that all blew up. Yep. And I used to watch him. And as a kid, I was like, man, I just felt bad for him. You know? It didn't, like, destroy my faith or anything. I was just like, oh, what an idiot. It's like, I don't wanna do that. You know? Like, what a disappointment. Idiot must probably a strong word. What a disappointment. Yeah. I think the thing that frustrates me the most and like, this is this is a new age problem. Right? Like, to start, I don't know that anyone was built for a celebrity.

Like, I know it seems like the thing that you want. You want the adulation from a lot, and you're like, I've learned to I get thick skinned for my critics, and I'm just gonna be strong and confident in being me and all this stuff. And, like, it sounds like it's from a position of strength. It is it is for sure not. And, like, as much as, like, I hate, like, having this conversation with, like, budding musicians or, like, you know, future sports stars or people who, like, wanna be actors and stuff. Like, in the back of my mind, I always think, look, I just don't think we're built for this. I don't know that it's good for you. Well, like king Saul, king David. I mean, right down the line scripturally. Yeah. We're just not. Yeah. We're just not, man. And like like, who wants to be the ho religious guy that goes, look, you don't wanna be famous. You know what I'm saying? Like, all the money that they're said that they're promising and people loving you, like, you should shy away from that. Like, you sound like a church turd. You know I'm saying? A guy that'll be like, give up on your dreams. There's no fun in that. You know? And so like, in my heart, I don't ever wanna, like, crush folks who are, like, trying to aspire to do the things. But, like, at the end of the day, I want you to do all those things and not be a celebrity. Yeah. You know? Because, like, I it only and, like, maybe I could be very proved wrong. There's a couple people in Hollywood that they will speak, and I'm like, I'm pretty sure that guy loves Jesus. You know I'm saying? Just by what's coming out of their mouth. But, like, on the whole, you get to know what they want you to know, and, like, they paint a picture of who they are. And, like, you can be like, oh, no. That's not them. They're they're great. There's there's four divorces behind all of them. Right.

Right? And I don't care which one you pick. All of them got that pain. Not that they're bad people. I'm not saying that. I'm saying they've had to go through pain in their life inflicted by their choices of being a celebrity. Yeah. You don't wish that on anybody. No. No. And and and like but some of that is part of being a fallen world, and some of that is not, like, trusting Jesus with the way that he said the place was designed. And, like but it certainly didn't help it that, like, your whole goal in life was to get the attention of other people. Yeah. Where, like, if I'm looking at, like, a a a marriage that I consider to be a safer place for you to be, I only want the attention of one person. Yeah. Yeah. My whole life. That's all I want. I want I want to I want to to be to have a relationship with Jesus that is my first and foremost. And then as far as the world's concerned, if I can make this one lady right here

happy and that what her opinion matters to me, that then that's it. That's all I'm concerned with. You know? Yeah. And, like, that I I don't I don't have trails of divorce behind me because of that. You know what I'm saying? My my daughter, we used to, when she was in middle school or whatever, before that maybe, wanted to be like a rock star. Like, all kids, you know, like, oh, yeah. And then it's like, well, she had a pretty nice voice. I thought, you know, if you get the right training, get the right breaks, who knows? And and so I had a lot of talks with her back then. It's like that's back when, what's her name? Jessica Simpson. Yeah. Yeah. You know, when it was like falling apart. I was like, yeah. Her her dad was a preacher. You know, I'd point out that stuff like, you it's not what you think it is. Think she started out in strong faith, and now she's going crazy. And so I always tried to, you know, just like, think differently. Know? Yeah. Get involved with the worship teams or something. And and

but but, yeah, maybe the the big star is not the way to go. Yeah. I would be real and it's so the reason I wrote it, Philip PNC, he's has written many Christian books. I actually haven't read any of them either. Yeah. I bet but to to I do recognize, like, reading quotes and stuff Yeah. Stuff from him. I I I think helpful is for some reason Real respected. I had a positive impression of Yeah. Whatever I'd read or taken in from him before. It turns out he had, like, a seven or eight year affair on his wife. He's older. He's, like, seventies, I think. Like, 80. Isn't he? 78, 80. Somewhere in there. Yeah. Yeah. But had, like, an extended affair on his wife. So, like, it's, like, for a good seven or eight years

and just came out over the last few months or something. And so he he I I just would be so like, I'm so aware maybe of my own fallibility.

And I I even think about I think we've said this before too on the like, this we've been talking in these microphones for fifteen years or something. And, like, someone, if they put any effort into it at all, if I had said 10,000

faithful things that I tried to teach someone and you gave an audience of which you showed all the clips and stuff in in my life trying to serve Jesus as a pastor or just a dude, could you find a few things that I've said on this program extent that someone would never listen to the other 10,000 things because they heard me say that one thing. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You told you totally could. Probably to my shame or to your sensitivity,

I both are probably in play. But like in general but here's what I here's what I know is that in the living rooms or in the sanctuary that Dan teaches in, like, these are people who have heard Dan and Mike and I say something where you're like, I don't know about that. But they also heard the other things and they are like, yep, fallible dude leading who does love Jesus and doesn't always get it right. And like, so you can be a healthy

fallible follower of Jesus being a pastor or worship leader or a worship pastor or like a youth leader or whatever in these circumstances. Once you get to the place where people are are judging only on your output, not holistically, they don't know you as a person. You don't look them in the eye. You don't hold their hand when they're weeping. Like, now you're being measured on a completely different thing, and I'm not up to snuff for it. I'm not I don't watch my words that well. I'm not as articulate as I would need to be. Like, it's just not a field of play. And, like, what a waste that, like, you could you could say 10,000 great things, and no one's gonna listen to those 10,000 things because of the one thing that maybe you said, you know, unclearly, or they just twisted to make you look like a turd or something like that. It's like like in my mind, I'm like, it's not worth it. It would not be worth it to me. Whenever I'm trying to buy off

going down that route, it wouldn't be worth it to me to think that I would lose the good influence with 50 people because I was trying to get an influence with 5,000 or something like that. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I think the thing that drives me the most crazy is like you had to have rolled out the red carpet for this thing to go on as long as it did. Right? People always act like this sin was like they

were sins of opportunity, or they just came over you. Like eight years is a really long time. And before even the first time, like, you fed it. Right? Like, didn't sneak up on you. You knew it was coming. You put yourself in a position where it could happen. And then you mowed the grass, you you could clean the curtains, you dusted off the chair, and you invited it in there. And like, it happens to the best of us. As broken humans, this is what sin looks like. Right? But But like when folks try to Like the eight year thing gets me. And this, like I said, this is not labeling this dude like worse than anybody else. Right? But like,

it's the same thing that we talked about when some of the church abuse stuff comes up. Like what's with all this lying about it? Right? Like, if if you sinned in this way in any way. Right? Like, this is no surprise. It's not a surprise to Jesus. It's not a surprise to the people that that are in community with you. Right? Like, we are sinful broken people, and it does happen. But, like, how you got past six months, two months, one month? Like, I I don't I don't like, that's the part where I'm like, if there's one thing that I that I find to be super disingenuous

to the way that the gospel works is not that you did the sin. Right? It's that you covered it up for x amount of time. That's the thing that I'm like, I don't understand that. I get really because I I realize that, like, when it's exposed, it's shameful. I get it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I've done enough things in my life where I'm like, I wish that I did not have to tell someone I did this thing. That's pretty bad. You know? And so, like, I I understand, like, there being a period of time where you are so fraught with the thing that you did that you're like, I don't wanna tell anybody. This is terrible. You know? But, like, I don't know how it gets there. I don't know what's a time period in my mind that makes sense to me. You know what I'm saying? But, like, a year? A a year you pulled this off, like wrestling with this thing all while espousing the gospel, you know, and saying all these great things like that. Like, I I just don't know. It feels like the holy spirit was just thrashing your insides,

and you at a raw power just decided to to continue on. I just don't know how it could be done. That that's that's my struggle with with it too that I have a lot of grace for for people. I mean, people make mistakes. We're we are fallible people. We we we we error. And sometimes we slip, sometimes we fall, sometimes we intentionally do things. But yeah, for for years, that that's that's that's not a slip, that's that's rebellion. Right? That that's that's I'm ignoring what I know is true, and I'm living the way I want to anyway while teaching people to not live that way. Yeah. I don't know how a preacher, a pastor, a writer, an author, a musician, whatever, who's representing Christ goes to bed each night on a that long of a thing and is okay, and is even able to sleep.

Maybe I'm kinda harsh there, but I mean, I'm certainly not perfect. I'm not saying that. But that's the weight of a of a a faithful preacher, teacher, whatever anyway. Right? You're like, I like, if if it doesn't occur to you that, like, you believe all the things in the bible are true and that God is good, but, like, if it if it is not weighty to you that, like, God, are you sure that you want to continue to use this broken vessel? You know what I did today. Right?

Like, you know where my mind went. You know the things that I entertained that I shouldn't have. You know that my anger got away from me. And, like, I submit that all to the cross, but, like, I'm gonna go tell people about you tomorrow. Are you sure I'm the guy that you wanna use for this thing? Yeah. Come on. Gonna tell them to live faithfully in their marriage while not living faithfully in my marriage. Yeah. I just I don't know. Like and once again, like, don't don't hear us like black hat and a guy. You know what saying? Like, God's grace is is amazing and, like, covers for sure. But, like, it just feels like like, what I think the thing that that I get exhausted with is is the covering and the and the the lies that you had to tell. Like, and that goes for church structure in in, like, especially with all the Catholic church crap from years ago or, like, every time someone has an infidel, they always get caught. They always get busted doing it. And no one's, like, just repenting of the thing off the crack. You know? And be like, man, this is eating me alive. You know? Yeah. Like, they're just holding onto it and burying it and acting like it's not a thing. It's like, man, I just don't know. And and I and I hope he's truly being repentant in his heart of hearts, and it and it's like it just hit him, like you said, and and and just like, man, I I can't believe I let this go this long, and that's why he's

confessing now. Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? But I mean, like, once again, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. Like, I don't know this man. You know what I'm saying? Like, these are congregational and community, like, conversations to be having. And once again, like, I I don't know. That's the thing is, like, Paul's a celebrity. You know I'm saying? He wrote books. You know? And so it's not like David's a celebrity. Like, he could barely have done anything worse

than what he did. A truth. Like, that dude grabbed every possible trophy sent out there and been like, yeah. I was part of something like that. I actually saw someone talking about this, and there was a there were some pastors and other leaders who were like, hey. We're burning Philip Yancey's books or whatever. I'm like, Tatoobah is like, you gotta burn the Psalms? Right. Right. Which like There's still value in there. Yeah. And like, it's it's so interesting because if you were to chuck out all output created for the kingdom by fallible people who have sinned behind it, you would have nothing to read, write, or listen to. And so, like I don't have that reaction at all. I don't think it's necessary. Like his hypocrisy notwithstanding,

it doesn't mean that actually there's not something good in it in the same way that like some of the stuff that comes out of depending on the location of the Hillsong Church. I'm like, well, of these tunes are still good, actually. Yeah. Yeah. And and like even if if if I think about oh, shoot. I think gosh. There was something else that was on my mind. I lost it. It had to it it wasn't his books. It was something else. But, like, regardless, is is it, like, I just fallible

humans produce well, take take take Jim Baker. It still was formative. Like, there was still something about that that helped form and shape Dan Hudson who loves and serves Jesus. I just eventually actually read the Bible and got doctrine, but

but he got me started. Yeah. Something pointed you there. The old hymn, It Is Well With My Soul, didn't that guy later on, like, walk away from the faith? Yes. Okay. Yes. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. The guys like Horatio Spafford. Martin Luther was a bit of an antisemitic. Yeah. I'm like, these are fallible people walking around. And like, I I it's it's interesting because like, I'll get on a I'll get get on a kick and like, I just started like soaking in certain people. But like, and and we've talked about this I think before. Like, I could tell you key influences over time.

Every one of those people, well, save one, has like let me down or like caused me to go, nah. I don't agree with that actually. Like I've never run into someone there's an arrogance, I guess, on your own to go, well, they don't agree with me. How much wrong with them? But but like, you know, I I as I as you take in information from people and people who I really respect, almost all these people are smarter than me and I'll listen to it. And then some point I'll go, I actually don't think that part's right. Which is in some ways it's like,

it's because I don't trust a human being. Like why wouldn't they be fallible? Of course they would be. And so I think it's unnecessary. It's a

play. It's a fake outrage to go burn and bug. It's dumb. Just take from it what But is and and maybe even the surprise. Maybe it's just because we have got David as an example and a somewhat anti Semitic Martin Luther and Horatio Spafford, and you're like And and Paul or Paul and Peter who's siding with their circumcisers as a as a wuss.

Right. Right. The guy who's willing to to like take it to the world is a sissy when like the Judaizers show up. And you're like, oh, and the and the girl in the courtyard. And you're like, where is the surprise anymore? Like, I don't know why we are we should we are your heart should melt a little. There's probably a little bit of disappointment. And and then you think you're just like, gosh, man. But for the grace of God, go I. That really sucks. And now you've got something else to overcome where someone like amplification

of your voice for Jesus brings the risk of your sinfulness becoming amplified in that same conversation. And so now we gotta work around it again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, I I I sent a text to somebody earlier this week where I'm like, I can't help it. I see Jesus everywhere. Like, I hear this song by, like, a nineties like, '2 early two thousands rock band. Got nothing to do with Jesus. Right? I hear it, and I'm like, this reminds me of Paul going town to town. You know what I'm saying? And and, like, I think if if the same the same holy spirit that can take god's words inside of his bible and convict me and show me things and open things up to my eyes, he does the exact same things with all kinds of life situations. Right? Music that is secular. It was the song was about getting off drugs. That's what the song was about. And, like, all I heard was Paul, like, going preaching to T's like, we gotta get freedom around here. Here's what we're gonna do. You know? And I thought, like, I don't need that band to follow Jesus. You know what I'm saying? Or it's like the same people that are like, I only buy Christianly Christian ethically sourced soap. Like, what's the matter with you? Like, I I can't I don't know where all this stuff comes from. You know what I'm saying? And it turns out the guy, like, he's like, he wrote Psalm 15 on his bar of soap, and he also beats his wife. And you don't know that. You saw him write Psalm 15 on the soap, and you're like, solid. It's gotta be good.

I actually, I was at a I was at a conference for like artists and we people I don't know. Just all kinds of like a Christian art thing. And like, they often get the questions like, you know, how do I is it okay to write like secular stories or something like that? And like, I think the guy's response was something to the extent of like, have you ever met a secular tree? Like the world around you is created out of the hands of Jesus. Like what are we talking about? Like wall story. Like there's not really

a thing where like it's a secular story or a Christian story. Like creation is by the hand of Yahweh. Humans are created by God. These are all ultimately creator driven stories. Now, mean don't write smut or something, but like you also don't need to be guilty that like, Hey, I wrote a poem

or a song about the peacefulness of the brook, but forgot to point it out to the redemptive power of Jesus Christ. So like, what are we doing? Like, what I forgot the deer that came to that was panting for the water. Yeah. That's that's right. Right? Just like people feel awkward being like, hey, I really love my wife, but it wouldn't be possible without the redemptive word of Jesus on the cross. You know what I'm saying? And like, I think sometimes, like, we get real freaky about that stuff where we're like, if if it's there's a difference in in, like, driving your faith around. Right, or, like, driving a bus with your faith written on the side of it and being like, I have no dimension. I literally just, like, praise the name of Jesus all the time. And if you any of your life problems are are lost on me completely because I don't understand human interaction or stress or having to work for a living. I just know Christ crucified. And you're like, Paul, look, man. I'm just looking for any kind of hope that Jesus has talked to about life circumstances over the the thousand pages we burned in the Lord's word. You're like, nope.

Cross. You know what I'm saying? It's like, that's really narrowing it down to a fake word. Like, people are like, I just don't even know if I can buy because it's not good news to me. You know I'm saying? The good news you're telling me, like, I'm having a hard time seeing where it fits into my life at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think some of the glamour of these big popular authors was lost on me in the nineties when I started. And this is just in a very small world though, but I was in a little town, I and was writing a weekly column for a newspaper,

and I'd be like, man, this thing's due in thirty minutes. I forgot about that. I'd sit down and, you know, throw something out, eight fifty words. And then I did that for a while, and then they said, man, you should put that in the book. So I did this book, and that gets sold all over the place in that little area. And I thought, man, the only difference between me and someone else, one, I'm not as smart, and I'm not as good of a writer, not all that good of a storyteller. But you get a guy who's a little smarter and can write a little better and can tell stories better and has editors and marketers. That's the only difference. Right. You know, I send stuff to New York and and, like, to do, like, the the the the newspapers

all over, and the guy wrote back to me, man, I really like these. You need an agent. You know? And I'm like, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You know? It's point being this guy, ENC,

a guy who loves Jesus, and he wrote some books, and it got, it took off. Yep. And it might have surprised him as much as anybody. But once you get one, then you get the power behind you and the marketing, and they get it going, and then he just starts selling all over the place, and he's still human and he's too fallible. I just wish it hadn't been an eight year cycle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Here, listen to life from the path. I guess,

you know, maybe you have some thoughts on that. I'd be curious. I think at the time, to go to on the callback, I it would be diff it would be hard for me to hear that the the Red Collective dudes,

like weren't following Jesus anymore. That would be that would be tough for me. I I wouldn't stop following Jesus or anything, but it would it would probably shake my world enough because again, there's just so much or even in the Bible project dudes. You took these two dudes, these groups of fellas, and if they said, you know, we just don't believe it anymore. I'm like, what in the heck? Yeah. How how could it possibly be you don't believe it anymore? Who who is the who is the Mars? Rob Bell. I used to really love him. Yep. And I would listen to his stuff. I'm like, this guy is so good. He's so deep. Then all of sudden, he just went crazy, and I'm like

What happened? See that coming. You know? Yeah. And and and, there's guys like that out there. You're just like, man. I feel like mine would be like, on the on the on the,

like, biblical knowledge side, it'd probably be the bible the bible project guys and then, like and Wes Huff, like, recently. Like, I just feel like that dude is I I don't know. I feel like he's got his stuff together. I'm sure ripe for a younger apologist. Yes. And we got one. And I feel like he's a good apologist. I, like, I listened to him on a podcast, and, like, it was it was a it was not a Jesus focused podcast. Like, there's just profanity everywhere. And and they're talking about, you know, like there were some definitely some using the Lord's name in vain and even painting God in pretty rough spots. And that dude just handled himself pretty well. I'm like, you know what? For a guy that is just trying to have conversation with people who are on this level of their faith, I just thought he did such a great job. And Matt Maher, if I found out that Matt Maher had bailed on Jesus, I'd been like, man, I like

I just I like his there's a lot of his songs where I'm like, this is the right song for the time. Oh, yeah. And, like, disproportionate to the rest of my music library, I'm like, this guy nailed it. Yeah. If I found out CS Lewis had this extra book no one had seen yet Oh. Never mind. I was like, never mind.

No. A book by CS Lewis. Toot CS Lewis would be a tough that would be a tough road. That's a tough one. That would be yeah. That would be so hard.

That would be so and it's it's like well, you know what's interesting is that, like, if I think about people where like, you take, like, Rob Bell or there there have been there have been musicians where, like, they've gone off the rails. They went to some their faith deconstructed,

but there were some things, it's always so interesting, is because in some ways, often times people that I've respected or that I've heard, I thought

they were able to, it's almost always a critique. It's almost like a prophet critique of the where you're like, you've got us right. Like, you found a way to name and describe with proper nuance where we got things twisted. And there is something about that skill because it is an exposure of the fallibilities of probably the church folks writ large and maybe the hypocrisy of Christians and where we are misunderstand

Jesus in our political or economic culture. I like, okay. So I actually like that because it takes away a blindness. The problem is is that like people who seem to be able to do that well also can't seem to reconcile that they are part of that fallibility

to a certain extent. And then they actually start becoming disenfranchised with Jesus for having found that people were unfaithfully representing him. And

like that, I've pretty consistently noticed that where like especially around where where I think if there if there at times could be an unhealthy mix between conservative politics

and Christianity when it comes to how you talk about people and think about them. Economic policy has got some differences to me, but like sometimes I think what happens is is that like you think about how the systems should work most efficiently and without waste

and that has implications for people. And then somehow you stop talking about people like they're human beings made in the image and likeness of God. It's a risk in it. Okay? And whatever. The other side has this different problem going the other direction is that you talk about people and then don't actually care to help them or serve them like you just want them to care to love you. Yeah. They're like a token in your war. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like whatever. They they both have their problems. But like the people where like you find these like really well worded critiques that have a like that I think actually start to get God's heart for people right. And then all of a sudden it took five years and now people are your God. You know I'm saying? It's just so like it started off well

and then it never it didn't hit the boundary that Jesus is still Lord. And it took it became like a thing that I thought was right and then got elevated above Jesus and then was no longer right anymore. Not because the thought didn't start out well, but because you began serving it probably because your celebrity came from it. There was the thing you said where people like, boy, that really got hey. I got that right when he and then you became known as that thing. You gave 30 talks a year for five years. You made $800,000,

and now you're the guy that talks about that all the time. And now your living is based upon that particular talking point. It's no longer around the full counsel of Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. And and this is where the books become a problem and like sermon series has become a problem. Like you just get famous for things like I want to hear that guy talk about this.

And then you kind of lost control of your ability to teach a full gospel and your money is tied to it, and your prominence is tied to it, and then you run the risk of serving it. Doesn't happen to everybody, but, like, I think that feels like the pattern that people hit. I feel like it happens to, like like, especially with the prevalence of, like, the Instagram preacher, you know, or, like, the fifteen second snippet you get on on Facebook or whatever. And you're like, man, I don't know, fellas. Like, what's we talked about this a couple months ago where I'm like, I just don't it was when we were talking about that holy spirit guy again. And I'm like Hey. Is that guy paying you? Because you've you've talked you've said that holy spirit guy every show for the last three months. You get a 0.25 every time you mention I don't even know his name. I couldn't find him again if I wanted to. Like, but he he's made such an impression on me that I'm like like, because he exposes

a bunch of possibility and what I find to be a bunch of risk. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so like, keep thinking it, like he keeps popping in my head because like what we talked about is, should you even allow yourself to be on this platform

knowing that, like, you can't people should be weary of you. Right? Like, you're not my pastor. You're not my community. Like, you edited this video. It's it's put together in a way, you know, and it's got polish to it. None of these things are sinful or bad. You know? But at the end of the day, you're not here for any of my follow-up questions. You're like, I can't you're not my pastor. You know? And so, like, we can battle out in the comments with the rest of the Internet trolls, which you shut off because you found damaging to your emotional status. And so you're like, all people do is crap in the comments and whatever, and I'm not gonna engage every keyboard warrior that wants to cause me trouble. Well, mean, what about the people that, like, have an honest question? Like Yeah. How does the holy spirit work or whatever? You know what I'm saying? And so, like, what did you do then? Right? You did put out a little bit of teaching,

but as far as the Bible lays it out, like, teaching is, like, one aspect of the way in which the gospel is put out into the world. And, like, you skim coated the cream off the top and went like, this is the thing. Yeah. You know? And, like, I don't know. There feels like there to me, though, it always feels like there's a responsibility that if you're gonna introduce people to Jesus, right, you need to set up at like, you're on the hook for these folks. So, like, you either need to set up community or infrastructure to hold them and find a preacher teacher community to to that they can be a part of, or you're doing it until you get that set up. Right? Like, I and maybe that maybe that's not even biblical. Right? But part of me just looks at it and goes, if you're gonna be the guy, you're not a fly by night operation. Right? Like, we have we have a a communal setup in the way that god asks us to live. And, like, if I'm gonna preach or teach Jesus into your life, I feel like I'm responsible for you and to help and get you into a a community that's gonna sustain you. I I oh, sorry. No. No. That's it. I I always heard that Billy Graham, when he came into town for his big crusades back in the day, that he had all these churches, local churches lined up to to to receive people. Yeah. Yeah. They all come forward. I'm like, Jesus, well, here that's your next step. You gotta be in community somewhere. Yeah. And I thought that was kinda cool with him. That is cool. And, like, Billy Graham, like, if you don't know

if you don't see him doing those types of things, he's an easy one to go, look. They brought 5,000 people in here. They got them all to come up and they just left them wet. Yeah. Or they left him saying a thing. But like, he did do more than that. Yeah. Did. Prepared some behind the scene. There was a whole team. Yeah. Paul I mean and we have every indication that, like I mean, Paul's not just going on a tour, writing letters and like, he's planting churches. John's planting churches. Phil's planting churches. Like, these guys are they're, like, they're church planters, and that's the only reason, frankly, that we've got some of these letters. They're writing to places that they've planted. Hey,

Timothy. Go back and check on, you know, Thessalonica. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tell them we did the the thing with your penis, and they'll listen to you or whatever. Like, Like, I just memory got circumcised. And so anyway, like, it's just

yeah. I I think it's a caution, but, like, I think also be careful not to overreact. Like, I just don't if if if this man or anybody that you ran into, like, Mark Driscoll's got his fallibilities, he still said some things that were helpful to me. Mhmm. He's probably still saying some things that were today. I stopped listening to him for the most part. He's gone I just he's too gabby for my but there's also guys who are, like, super influential to me ten years ago, and I'll listen back to it now. I'm like, yep. Yeah. Yeah. This was good. Yeah. But they don't have they're not like I'm not, like, trying to burn them through all their stuff anymore. Like Right. Yeah. Now I get a flavor. I understand what they mean, and I understand how they apply to other places. I'm like, thank you. Okay. We're moving on. And so

and whatever. There's actually interesting to think about. There's people who listen to this program for the first five years. And then after that, they're like, yeah. I mean, blah blah blah. They keep saying the same crap, and I know what they're gonna say. And so I went on to something else. I'm like, great. Deepen it up, man. You probably if you've got the hit you've got the hit of it God uses for the for a season. That's right. It's time to move on. Alright. You're listening to Life From The Path. Thanks for hanging out with us so far this evening. The only thing other thing that'll bring up, maybe then we'll do some advice.

I I just just with there's some the stuff going on in the country, and this probably is not even doesn't have to be specific to, like, all of the current events. This is probably true at any event time. But as you look around of things going on in the news, we've got political

contention over, again, immigration policies. You've got altercations between American citizens and immigration official officials and violence and threats of violence and, like, people's just I I I don't in in the invading of other countries, the threat to invade other countries. I'm just there's a lot there's a lot going on around here. And, like, I just my my reminder to you,

regardless of whichever political persuasion hits you at any given day or or maybe you think you have a healthy mix, is that you are a follower of Jesus first and foremost. And so I just want you like, if you find that you open up the news, and I'm I'm a guy who opens up the news, is that, like, if you're not in the habit of praying before you start taking taking things in, maybe you should start. Before for heaven's sakes, before you start giving your opinion to someone else, I want you to pray about it.

And I want you to talk make sure you're talking about people in a healthy way that talks reflects that they are in the image and likeness of Jesus, that you weep with those who weep, that you recognize justice is a valid thing, and that the people of Jesus do care about that. We care about the truth. And like, here's the thing. My listing of those things depending on what you already think about the world has caused things to pop up. You're like, oh, no. He's getting at me about this. And then I said the truth mattered. And then you're like, crap. I kinda believe that too. And actually, I think that's what the problem is. This is what I'm saying. It's it will if it's hit if any of those things are hitting you and something popped into your mind, I just the the one is I'm I'm trying to digest all these things, and I think it's very difficult. And I think sorting out news is hard, and I think people are

shading all kinds of things in all kinds of places, and everything, there's a lot of gray stuff going on, and I'm probably very frustrating to people around me because they're like, can you tell me your opinion? And my gut reaction is to go, I bet that's, I bet this is a pretty great situation actually. I bet things are harder for every individual person involved. I bet no humans believed that the moment was gonna be what the moment was, whether you're in Minnesota or Venezuela. I just don't think that like, I don't care. I don't care if you're a dictator. You get picked up with the next to your wife and you've got kids. Like there's something in there that's a human thing in addition to being all kinds of other things. And so I'm just saying

that like, just be careful. I want you to be prayerful. And like, if you don't pick up the newspaper before you pick up your Bible, and frankly, if you can't handle picking up the newspaper, you should stop. Same thing with your social media feed. And for heaven's sakes, just pray that you're getting God's eyes before and and heart on the world around you mercy before you start opening your mouth. And so that spins maybe I should just say that once a quarter or something as a fresh reminder of how you take in the world. Alright.

Ready? Yep. Dear life from the path. My wife of three years has no respect for me. She calls me vulgar names in public and thinks it's funny. I have a bladder control problem, and she brings that up in public all the time. I am starting to resent it.

I love my wife, but I don't like feeling this way. Please help or give me some advice. Starting to resent it. How long did that take, buddy? Wow. That's just gone kinda mean. Yeah. You got the patience of a saint. If one time one time Yeah. If I tended to pee myself and my wife thought it was good comedy fodder out in the middle of public, I don't think it would take long to resent it. I think it would instantly be like, what the heck, woman? Yeah. Come on. That's like my most vulnerable terrible thing I do, And you made comedy out of it in front of a bunch of people. What's wrong with you? I thought it's okay. I laughed a little because that felt like it took a really sharp turn in Albuquerque. Yeah. Like my wife is mean to me. By the way, I've got bladder control issues. Like it just I didn't see it refined. So it was more of a surprise laugh.

Sorry if you have bladder control issues. I actually find quite a bit that what occurs when I'm talking with my wife or it more tends to be when you're addressing each other and kind of in a more passive way or something.

The next thing that comes out of my mouth is like, why are you talking to me like that? Like what did I did I do something or like did you forget that I'm like your forever dude and we love each other? And like I don't I don't understand why why that happened. And so let's get whatever maybe in the berry out of the way and then we can go sort out whatever things. And she probably has every right to say, I probably also do that where I've like been impatient for no reason or something. But like I'm kinda hypersensitive to it because the reality is is that like, why are we talking to each other this way? Like the notion of our marriage means

like we should we're after the best here. And so this guy with a three year wife unloading on him out in public, mocking his whatever problems he has, like, you're in a rough spot, my man. Yeah. They they need to do some counseling to get to the the root of this more than what we can do for sure, but have a professional kinda weed some of that out. Like, what's going on? Why are you doing this? Yeah. Why are you trying to humiliate your man?

And how do you move forward? Yeah. Now what the the thing the things I have cautious about. He's provided

no context really. My wife calls me vulgar names and brings up that I have bladder control issues in public. Yeah. Okay. She sounds like a she devil. I'm guessing there's probably more to this. He could be doing some of the same things to her. Yes. Yes. Like, I don't like, if you My wife has the yeast infection. Like,

Yikes, Dan. I resent that. One time. Sorry. The guy who's in like the middle of the public square just like out.

That's funny. Yeah. So so like I I don't trust what we've gotten simply because I've never had anybody tell me a story where they did not were not contributing. Yeah. Did not have some understanding that like, oh, by the way, her parents had an extremely unhealthy relationship. I probably didn't date her long enough or I caught her rebound. We cheated on each other. Like, I don't know. There's definitely more here than what this man is saying.

And so I am what I don't wanna do is use off every bullet I have in her direction only to find out after the casings are hot and steaming on the ground, her to go, oh, by the way, he kicks my dog or something. Like, I'm just we don't have an affair. What I'd I'd like to know is how old is this man? And has he had an eight year affair?

And now his wife's getting revenge. Yep. Yep. Yep. Wait. But they've only been married three years. Okay. That's not Bladder control, though, could be that age I mean, is that an age thing? Is it a health is there a that he I I don't know what health things would lead to that. Yeah. It feels like you have laugh. It feels like you like, there could be all kinds of stuff in here. Right? But the truth of the matter is is like what you found to be fine and acceptable,

you are maturing out of. And like she just isn't maturing at the same rate you are. Where like when you first started dating or whatever, you called each other vulgar names, you're like, You know, kinda like a playground romance here. You know what I'm saying? And then, like, as you matured a little bit, like, she's not growing at the same space you are, and, like, you haven't said anything about it. And so and then now you're just you're just storing up hurts. And so, like, I think number one, like, one, you probably should go to counseling. But two, like, have you told her? Yeah. Like, have you even had that conversation with her? And, like, what it's gonna feel like is you're you're embarrassed because either it used to be fine or it was never fine. And if it's never been fine and you've never said anything out about it and now your feelings are hurt like a wuss, you're afraid your wife's gonna think you're a wuss. I get it. You know what I'm saying? But, like, you get look. If if you love her and she loves you, like, gotta tell her. You just gotta tell her that this is how you're feeling and be like, what do what do what do you think of that? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And and actually, one of the interesting things you have here is that

as you it's it's not a to to Mike's point, I think it feels like kind of a wuss thing to do to be like, I don't like when you call me names. My feelings are hurt by you. Yeah. But but here's the deal. You're the one person that I gave permission and to expose the ability to hurt my feelings. That's it. That's what bearers was. It's like one person where you you gave the armor of steel to the rest of the world. This is the person where you said, I'm bringing like, I'm agreeing to allow you to shape me. That's what your bearers should be doing, like, for both of you reciprocally. And so the reality is is that, like, if this person is abusing that, you most definitely need to say something, and it's not a wuss thing to do. Don't say it like a wuss.

Don't like, do it with every confidence. Hey. I don't I don't appreciate the the names that you're calling me. Like, I need you to build me up. Yeah. I don't need you like, it's it's it doesn't it's not helping me to tear me down. And it makes me feel bad about myself. And, like, but the risk is frankly that like if you can't speak to me in a way that otherwise encourages me and builds me up and helps me to refine to be a better person,

the only thing I can reasonably do is stop listening to you. Mhmm. It's like not allowing you to do that. And that would be a real shame for our marriage because like you have every chance to make me better. I believe in us. I believe in your like our ability which is I'm presuming these things are true. Let's just you thought you had a good marriage. So like I I believe this is what's possible for us. And like I everyone's you sometimes just have to do that. And like it you don't have to don't pout about it and like don't stay up your feet or have a tantrum. But like you can also go, look, I I said for better or for worse, I would be this person be with this person, and I would give them the access to help refine me. But if between you and Jesus, you know that's not what this is, then you just get to go, I I'm not going to let that hurt me. I'm not I'm not and I still actually have to help guide my family, my young family

through this and even help lead this woman on what it means for us to be engaging healthily. And so you gotta try not to be so offended about it. It's hard because this is the person that's allowed to do that. But like I yeah. I I think you have to be careful. I I I do think you have a responsibility to hear a go. I recognize that this is not healthy. I'm not going to allow that to change whatever I should know about my what confidence I should have about myself between me and Jesus. And now I have to I it's okay for me to go. I don't

no. I I I I reject that. It's not okay to to talk to me that way. And I want you to tell me if you ever feel like I'm saying something that feels like I'm, you know, discouraging you or like cutting you down because like it's not okay for me to do it either. You can you can still lead in that conversation. I think you should. Alright. Segular says,

if I if I'm reading your letter correctly, then it seems like therapy is in your short term and long term future. If you're not having open conversations with your wife, you need to. If she refuses to meet you on the things that are going to build you up and not tear you down, you should consider other options. Yeah. I here's I I think this is gonna be a little bit of a tricky road. There's this lady on the Facebook movies who gives parent parenting advice. She's like a grandma now, but she gives parenting advice to people with toddlers.

And and, like, we'll target at five and under. And here's the thing. This advice that she's giving is fantastic, and it applies to everybody in the world. Like it applies to the teenagers. It applies to spouses. Don't treat your spouse like a five year old. It's not what I mean. But like humans are wired to to do things that otherwise elicit influence or reaction from you. Right. So if if your spouse can get you riled up by raising their voice, so you raise your voice. Well, then that's what they wanted. Like they were trying to impact you or hurt you or like get you jazzed up for some reason or another, and you accepted it. You took the bait. And the same thing is true for your kid. She the the the story this I wish I could remember her name. I would give it to you so you can It sounds like Karen Purvis. That's who it sounds like. Who's Karen Purvis? She she has done a lot of curriculum for prospective adoptive parents. Oh. And she talks a lot like this. Yeah. It's like like one of the examples that she gave is that, like,

it's a kid who won't doesn't go to sleep when they're supposed to or a kid who's like throwing a tantrum. And like, she was talking at the I saw a clip today, and she was like, you don't like, don't lecture your kid through the they're trying to get your attention, and you're giving it to them. I said, you should she goes, you should just act bored. Act bored. Don't if if it's about their needs, then fulfill their needs. If they're hungry, if they're tired, she's like, you should address those, but just don't get otherwise pour gas on this tantrum. She goes, don't pick up your phone. That's rude. Like, you don't just don't. You're not dismissive,

but you're also like act like you're waiting for a bus. And she goes, they'll figure out. It'll take a little bit. And I think in our minds, it's like this is gonna take six months. But she's like, it'll be very fast. Like a number of days, they'll figure out that screaming and yelling at you just does not do anything. And they'll give it up because that's what like But the problem is by the time you married someone or you raised a teenager, I look at some of these teenager behavior, even my own. And I'm like, crap, We did this. I did this because I did too much moralizing with them when they were too young for it. I'm like, now you gotta understand this is the thing to do. And I'm giving them they they got all my attention when like I think that's right, actually, depending on the age. But like, I don't know. Sometimes you just need a no. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna talk you through this thing. You need to give it up. Go do you're gonna do it that room or you're gonna like we're not gonna disrupt the whole family dinner because you decided you were hosed off. Like, I'm not gonna fight you. Not gonna like try to drag you or do like all this other stuff to show my dominance. I'm just I need you to know this doesn't particularly work and you not able to emotionally rile me up. I mean, they'll fire their mom up for sure. She gets personally offended. I did not raise you to do that. I'm like, yes we did. Look at them. They're both doing it.

Most certainly raised them to do it. Did not intend to raise them to do it. She hates that. This really makes her mad. I'm like, I'm sorry. I mean, if more than one kid is doing it, it was like It's a pattern. We did something wrong. But anyway, I say that to say, is that like, it's okay to think about that in your relationships,

even your really close ones is like, what behavior are you actually encouraging? Like if your spouse, sometimes you just want to get the person riled up. You want people to know you're hurt and you do it in unhealthy ways. And so

you get a tattoo or get a bumper sticker for it, but like you just both can't be out of control at the same time. And so if your spouse is losing it on you, you just don't feed it. And like, don't dismiss them. Don't be cruel. Don't like treat them like they're nothing. But just like, I'm not willing to be riled up by this. And so anyway, I it sounds like you got a lot to work through, but I just it's that problem is blown up, but I think it happens in a thousand small problems in every marriage. Mhmm. And just like be the grown up, be the person who goes, my marriage is important to me, and so I'm actually not going to allow this to harm me, but I'm not gonna be cruel or dismissive about it. I'm just I'm just gonna take it easy. And then whatever. Hopefully, my wife is able to do that when I lost my cool. Actually, this is one of the major advantages of being in a marriage that's centered on Jesus too. Is, like, you are not your marriage's holy spirit either.

So, like, there are some things that obviously you need to talk out and be addressed, but sometimes people are just people, and they're on the struggle. Yep. Right? And so, like, you pray for them and you love them. And, like, if they're seeking Jesus, the holy spirit will will help straighten some of this out. You know what I'm saying? Like, you don't have to be the enforcer all the time of good right and wrong. Like, sometimes you can just be the person that goes, I hear everything that you're saying. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So, like, Christ centered marriage is definitely the ticket. Think of Mary Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life. After her husband, like, knocks all the crap over and yells at the kids and overreacts and puts all this business, and then he storms out of the house. And what does she do? Lord, be with my husband, George Bailey. Yeah. And then like and then goes and solves like, goes out and serves themselves a problem. She didn't think, like, what a what a butthead. Yeah. She's like, my husband's

obviously, the man is torn up. I love this man. She had every right to be pissed. Instead, she, like, looks at him and goes, obviously, this man that I care about is very much There's something wrong. There's something going on with him right now. Yeah. Yeah. And get after it that way as opposed to, like, you know what? But I'm also mad. Lord, bring me vindication. Okay. Alright. Last one. Here we go. Dear life from the past, my ex girlfriend just can't get a clue. She continues trying to get me back and even goes so far as to stalk me.

I blocked her phone number, but it has become exhausting. How do I tell her I don't love her anymore and I really no longer even like her? I can't stand her, her family, or her friends. She gaslit me for years. Our entire relationship was built on a lie. I'm so much happier without her in my life, but she just won't go away. Any advice on how to deal with this crazy person would be great. I mean, have you tried the phrase I don't love you and I don't really like you anymore? Yeah. Seems like it's not I I guess I would've

I would've liked to understand, like, when you said after you blocked her number, what else is happening? Yeah. Is she, like, showing up at your place? Yeah. This feels like a practicality problem more than it seems like a situate like, I I don't know. Like, I mean, I I can't say I got a string of crazy exes behind me to know exactly what to do in these situations. I feel for this guy. But once again, I feel like you're getting half the story. I don't know, people just don't act like this on a whim sometimes.

So like, I think there's a little more going on. But like after you block the phone calls, right? And if she's physically showing up, like there's get a restraining order against her. You know what I'm saying? Like, pick pick the thing. Like, are are you are you trying to solve this in a way opposed to the avenues that are already available? Like if she's dangerous or actually crazy, where she's not in her capacity and there's a threat of violence, harm, whatever,

right? Like, just get a restraining order on her. You're like, I don't think it's all that. Well, gotta then just let it go then. If like, there's a there's an option. Because, like, obviously, if you could talk your way out of it, it worked already. If you could have said the thing or set up the boundaries that she just blows right past them, then, like, use the laws that we have in this country and go, look. I'm gonna put a restraining order against you. I don't wanna see this happen to you, but I need you to go away. You know? And so, like, if talking's not working and you, like, in all honesty, are trying to do good things and you're not just being Johnny Drama here, then, like, use the avenues that are available. Yeah. Actually, that my first inclination is this guy likes drama. He's a real drama fest.

And I I you noticed this. Just listen to people. Look look for people who work in fast food restaurants, people who are in recovery houses. There's there's, like, three or four other key scenarios where you're like, these are real drama fests. And, like, I've just listening to various people tell stories that are in these things, and they're like, and so and so did blah blah blah. I'm like, why do you even care about that at all? Why are you even thinking two things about that? Well, blah blah blah blah blah. Like, again, that didn't add any context. That just told me you are actually still caring about like, do you care what they think? Stop caring. You need to let this go. And so, like, if this is a guy who's like, oh, she just won't leave me alone, and then you go checking out her Instagram

feed and or you're calling your sister to see if she called and, like, okay. Like, then I think he's a drama man. That's my guess. My guess is he's invested in it. And it does like once again, like, have, like, 10 more questions. Like, are you still, like, sharing the same friend group on social media? You know, are you sharing, like, the same friends where they're like, so and so was here and they were talking about you? Do you still go to the same bowling alley on Tuesdays or the things you used to do? You know, like, if your life was that entwined and you haven't cut that off completely for the sake of sanity, then some of that is on you too. Right? Like, they're like, I shouldn't have to give up all my friends. Here's the thing, man. You got together with a gal, and I'm sure you made promises you didn't mean, and she did too. And then you acted like y'all was married. And they're like, this is what happens when you say you're gonna start a life together, and then you decide to bail on it. And so, like, it's gonna be a little gross. It doesn't really excuse her behavior.

Like you're saying, if if you've been upfront and honest and straightforward and not just been playing, you know, text message messenger phone tag with people. But overall, like, there's there's more options than you're giving, and you're not choosing the options that will definitely solve your problem.

Yeah. I I just I'm I'm a little if he would have said those very clear things, you feel like he would have described it that way. How do I tell her this? Tell her that. Yeah. Like I was like, I I don't Yeah. Oh, he did ask specifically, how do I tell her I don't love her anymore and really no longer even like her? If, yeah, if you've stopped short of saying that, then this is on you. Yeah. This is your problem, man. She still thinks the door is slightly open, and you must be one heck of a catch, my friend. Yeah. Yeah. Or the pool is real shallow. Like, there's only two goldfish in the sea. And the other guys, whatever, Russian bride. I've I've known way too many people in my life. They're like, yeah. They blocked me, so I called them from a different number. Like, what hey, man. This is the effective door shut. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're at their house and they say, get out, and then they shut the door, and you're like, I'll go in the window. This is You know what saying? What

a bold move. Like, to get the hint, bro. Actually, that is the problem though, is that, like, the people do that kind of stuff without actually saying the thing. They're just like, I'm blocking you. Like, okay. I mean, how do I like, is this like, hey. I need you to cool off or like we're done forever? Okay. I'll I'll tell you the the two second story. Well, two minute story. So someone blocked me on LinkedIn.

And on LinkedIn, I've only been ever blocked by, like, one person in my life, and it was this person blocks me on LinkedIn. And it's because I they they were right to be bad at me. I had I don't whatever. I I I got some information about, like, people moving between companies and stuff. And, like, it didn't it felt rumor ish to me, but there were like enough people that it felt like it was going to impact our business in such a way that like, hey, there might be six to 10 people who are like thinking about going somewhere.

And so I shared this information with some other folks to try to like I thought, well, maybe we need to be a little bit more aggressive on some pay bumps and some, you know, stuff like this. It was it was the first time I'd ever been privy

to information at like kind of a higher level within a company about those kinds of things going on. And retrospect, I I should have protected it much better. I should have been thoughtful about how it might come back on someone who shared something with me. And maybe they shouldn't have shared it with anybody, but I certainly should have been trustworthy with it.

And so it it was it end up feeling like gossip even though that wasn't my intention. And they had given told me something, I think, with the level of thinking that would keep it in trust, and I didn't do that. And so they I in retrospect, I I think they had every right to be mad at me, and I didn't handle it how I should have. But the only way I found out that it it caused them harm is, like, I just got a message, and it just said blocked.

Like what what the heck happened? And like by the time I figured out what had happened, I thought, oh crap. I owe them an apology. And I I didn't have a way to give it. Like I didn't Jump on Instagram. It was a I mean, it it was a work connection. Right? So it's not like I don't have a home address or anything like that. And I thought and and like that sat with me for the longest time because I thought like I I can't repair the thing, but they I owe them an apology. They and but maybe some of it felt self serving. Like, I want to be able to say I'm sorry. It will relieve me of some sort of guilt or something. But there's probably some element of that to it.

But but I did I felt like I owed him. And it took me a few years. It took me till last year where I figured out that actually, I I could still message them on LinkedIn, and they probably wouldn't see it because I'm not like a it's like if someone tries to message you on Facebook, but you're not friends, it goes in a bucket. It's probably in there, and they probably won't ever see it. But I did end up messaging them, and I apologized and said, I'm sorry. Like, I shouldn't have I didn't I didn't handle this well. But but the but the crappy thing was is that, like, I actually they at least deserved

an apology from me. I owed it to them. And I didn't even understand what the nature of the the situation was until it took me, like, months to figure out what had actually happened to even and if they just said, look, man. I told you something in trust, and you abused it, and I don't wanna talk to you anymore. At least I would've known what we're dealing with here. Yeah. You know? And so to that point, like, I just have heard a lot of people were like, well, they blocked me. I'm like, well, why? And is it a permanent? Well, I don't know. They were just mad. And so it's like the hanging up of the phone except for, like, just don't look at your messages from them or something as opposed to this blocking situation. You don't know what you're reacting to. Bring bring back the non block.

Say the thing. I think I've blocked people before, and I have I can probably think of maybe five times where I've told them why and maybe a couple where I'm like, I just can't do this anymore. Yeah. Like, the answer is just no. Like the like the you know, it's crazy ex girlfriend. Like, I just got my car and left, and that's all. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. Like, there's no more conversation to be had. I said my peace over the last months. That's it. We're done. You know? Yeah. But so the the only difference would be is that, like, if you left the next time they tried to call or something, don't you feel like it's incumbent to go, look. This is it? Unless you said it as you were driving away. Because if you just drove away, it could be like, oh, I don't know. Maybe they're just mad at me. Yeah. I suppose. They're gonna calm down. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe people lose their decorum when they're fired up. You know? For sure. For sure. Maybe. Okay. Let's Secular says, continue to avoid your ex. And if you see her, do not acknowledge her. If she approaches you, tell her you are done and to leave you alone. Do not respond to her calls, emails, or texts. And if she mails you anything, write return to sender on the package or envelope.

Well, that's some that's some modern day spite right there, firing you over a snail mail. Says, tell your friends that she is stalking you and her behavior is creepy, and then continue dating and resume your social life. If she acts out or damages your property, report her to the authorities. The most effective way to get rid of her is to resume the life you had before you met her and don't look back. Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. I I think to a certain extent, Ben's right. Like, if you haven't said the things, you should say all the things. Yeah. Definitely. And then after that, like, at least let the cards shake out and say, look, I said all the things. The next move is yours, but, like, we're done. And then you can start making decisions from there. Yeah. Kinda like that other conversation we're having. I don't think you have to say it 50 times, I think but you you should be clear once, and then you could just start ignoring things. And I think that's It's really over. This is done. Yeah. Yeah. I don't wanna hear from Yeah. Yep.

Yep. Okay. Hey. You're listening to Life From The Path. I appreciate you hanging out with us this evening. And yeah. I think we're out next week. I think there's other things going on. And

so we'll probably have a reprise for the next show, but after that, maybe we'll be in for a few. In the meantime, be faithful to the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to Live From The Path. Hey. Tremors in the hills. The lion roars loud. Echoes in the valley. Judgment in the cloud. Clownshares turn to stores. The