Live from the Walnut Street Studios in downtown Des Moines, listening to Live. Hope everybody's having a good night so far tonight. In the studio this morning, or excuse me, this afternoon, excuse me, with me, I am Ben Foost. We have a packed house today. It's going to be really exciting, actually. Zach will be here in a little bit, but Mike and Dan are here in the studio, and sitting in for Zach in the interim is Jared Roy. Good afternoon, everybody. Yep. Hi. Hello. Good. I'm glad everybody's having a good time. Well, you know, it was weird this week. We got a ton to talk about, actually. I was thinking this morning, I got a huge list of stuff, both God's stuff and stuff that leads to God's stuff. But I didn't have my example today, but I had gotten a, I live in Bondurant, and there is a, we get a magazine that's for Altoona, it tells you what the population is, it tells you, you know, the business in the area. I think it's put out by the Chamber of Commerce. But one of the weird things that I saw in this is there's a picture of, like, race cars on the front. NASCAR, right? NASCAR race cars. And Prairie Meadows is in Altoona, right?

So there's horse racing and stuff. So I thought, well, that was kind of weird. And then you go and you look in an article, and one of the things that it says within this article is it talks about Altoona being the epicenter of racing of both fans of horse racing and NASCAR racing alike in Iowa. They don't do any car racing at Prairie Meadows. I think Newton. Like, well, yeah, so Newton does it, right? But, and it said so in the article, because we are a mere 30 miles away from a NASCAR track? Does that, I mean, let's just say, if you're within 30 miles of something, does your city quality, like, are people actually coming to Altoona saying, hey, man, we need to go Altoona because they're within 30 miles of an actual NASCAR track? Did they say epicenter? Did they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, epicenter. Impressive. Yeah. I would most certainly say that that's not true due to the fact that you either live in Beverly Hills or you do not. You know, you are not a Beverly Hillian because you are half hour out, you know? I'm pretty sure it gets a little shady half hour away from Beverly Hills. You live one bus ride away from Bollywood. Anyway. Well, it got me thinking of what I couldn't figure out is why not just be honest? Like, isn't there enough going on? Altoona as a whole, Altoona, Iowa has a theme park, okay?

It's got Adventureland. It has a giant racing and casino, right? It's got horse racing, live horse racing, and casino action tables and all this junk. Bass Pro Shop. Yeah, it's got a huge Bass Pro Shop. I mean, a Walmart, a Target. I mean, it's a burgeoning community. Why would you have to lie and tack on a picture of a NASCAR racing on the front of your… That's what they do. Yeah, did you consider the fact that maybe they were special marketing it to people in Bondurant, and they assumed that people of your ilk are race car fanatics? Maybe they'll next say that they are very close to the Mall of America. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Hey, join our shopping district. We're within six hours of the Mall of America. Altoona, Iowa. The closest to Ikea, you know, four miles away. I see, yeah. Anyway, like, it was just weird to me. Like, I don't understand the point of the dishonesty here. Like, it's not… You look at it and you say, oh, yeah, they're just overselling it. That's a lie. That is not overselling it. You do not have car racing in your town. Well, but maybe they've done a study, and most of the people who go to Newton live in Altoona. Why do you say Newton so funny?

I'm just trying to pronounce my T's. Newton. He does say Newton. What are those things you eat, Dan? Fig Newtons. See? Yeah, see, yeah. It's not real. That's weird. It's just Newton. I had a friend who used to say battery. I was like, battery? What's a battery? I like the presentation. I'm in front of a battery. Do you have any batteries? I have a battery. That sounds way more important than it usually is. I don't get to say Newton very often. It's very, very good. Hmm. Anyway. Well, you know, that kind of brings on the same ilk. Like, they have these advertisements in the skywalk for, like, you'll be walking over the Burger King, you know, say, Montana. And I never, for once, walk past that side and go, oh, yeah, Montana. I guess I better get going. Better fill up with gas.

I just, I don't know. I always wondered why cities, you know, advertise themselves like they do. It seems to me like if you, you know, if you're known for something, you're already known for it. You know, you don't need to put a two-story steer, you know, behind a lone smoking cowboy in the background and go, Montana. But maybe that's, isn't that how you get known for it? Maybe your advertisement is how you get known for it. I don't think so. I don't think so. You know, there's so much money spent on, I mean, obviously it's doing something. I mean, why does McDonald's advertise? Like, no one's ever heard of it. It's to continually remind you, you know, oh, you're hungry? Don't forget McDonald's. Oh, you're looking to travel? Montana. Exactly. It works, though. I don't forget McDonald's. I frequent it. I forget Montana. I'm saying they're different. I'm saying that states that, like, you get advertisements for Missouri all the time, you know, up here. Or take a Minnesota vacation. And, you know, I mean, I look at their commercials and I go, none of this stuff matters to anything. Maybe it's because I don't like landmarks. Like, I would never go see the Mount Rushmore. Why?

Or see Grand Canyon. Why not? I don't know. I don't dig it at all. What's wrong with you? It seems… Great faces. South Dakota. You're not American. It doesn't seem like anything to do. That's good. Like, what do you do when you get there? You get out of the car, you look at Mount Rushmore for, like, five minutes, and you're like, I guess… It's like the movie Vacation. I guess it's time to go. My grandpa, he went to the Grand Canyon and he drove, like, you know, 17 hours to get there. And he stood there and put his foot up on the rail and said, well, there's your Grand Canyon. Got back in the car and left. I like this man. What a terrible waste of gas. I mean, I'd rather do something. I don't know. Well, I mean, you can catch a burrow through the Grand Canyon. Now, see, that's the thing, is once you get there to those kind of places, now they got you in the tourist trap. And I feel like they're faking me. You know, like everything is fraudulent. That happened when I went on my honeymoon to Jamaica.

Terrible. It was the absolute worst time ever. I went to Jamaica. I went to Minnesota. I'm feeling a little jealous. See, you're getting the wrong advertisements. You're getting the wrong advertisements. 10,000 lakes. I'll see you. I should just skywalk with your wife. I was like, Minnesota. That place is going to have a wall. Is this a tourism thing, though? Or is this like a move to Altoona thing? I mean, is that what… No, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Altoona. Live the good life and go racing. See? Yeah, yeah. No, it's Altoona propaganda. Come join. Like it says, go to our shopping district. There's not a shopping district. There's a Hy-Vee. There's a Mall of America. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the Mall of America. Hey, there's a Jim Johns down there. Ikea. Hey, just a real quick spot on that Jim Johns. I got behind a Jim Johns delivery guy today. Oh, did you run him over? He was way slow. I mean, like grandma-style slow. No. And a scooter? Yeah. No, he had the sign on top of his car. It's so fast, you freak. I'm like, I'm freaking all right. You better move your car. I mean, I could have sworn it was an 85-year-old woman hanging out inside of his car. It was terrible. And then I thought, well, you know. They're looking for drivers. Maybe I should take his subs. Teach him a lesson. Jimmy, darling. Jimmy, darling. You guys see that one? What? Has nobody seen that commercial?

No. It's a Chinese guy, like, pitching this. I don't even know what he's pitching, but there's like a Transformer or something in the back. Antenna. And there's like a robot man flying, and they don't like it. And then he clicks the button, and it charges it up double what it was, and he's flying faster. And there's a bunch of Chinese board guys who are like, mm-mm, mm-mm. And then he goes, he thinks to something, and then he goes, Jimmy John's, Jimmy John's. And then Jimmy John's shows up and gives everybody sandwiches. And then the curmudgeon-y Chinese board of directors is now happy, and it sounds like he's willing to buy the toy. Is this Papa John's brother? Hey, you know, it was weird. That's how I think my oldest daughter is learning to read, because we were looking at the computer, and she saw an advertisement, and it said, Papa John's, and it showed pizza. And she goes, I didn't know Jimmy John's made pizza. Oh. So I thought, that kid can read. Impressive. Don't you see those late-night things? Or maybe they're all, you flip through the channels, your baby can read. I don't even know what it means. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I've never watched it.

I'm like, what? You know, I read an article recently that the normal age where kids are most attuned to reading is like seven. We start them way earlier. So kids tend to learn to read easier, or learn to read earlier. Like, most people say, well, my kid reads at five. Well, it's because you forced your kid to read at five. You're like teaching them to memorize, rather than like phonics. You know, teaching them how to read. You're teaching them to, oh, I recognize that word. That's John. Yeah, there's recognition, and then there's like comprehension, though. It's like, how much are they actually getting off of it? Yeah, I read the word. I regurgitated the word John. Who cares? They know what the word is. Yeah, but if you don't know what it means, what's it about reading? Why are you some kind of reading elitist? What's it about reading it, though? If you don't know, then you don't know how to say it. Like me. Why do you read? Why do you read, Mike? Only for informational purposes only. How do you know what's at the front of the word? If I know what a stop sign is, and I don't know what says stop, but I know what to do,

I think that's good enough. Hey, have you seen, back to the Jimmy John's thing, have you seen that little sign in there that has the brain on it? It has all the words all jumbled up, and they said as long as you read the first and last letter, you can read the words. Have you seen that? Oh, yeah, yeah. I have seen that. That's wicked. That's because you're just so, you just, yeah. So, okay, you know how to really make a Jimmy John's employee really upset? You order an unwich. That's all I ever get at Jimmy John's. It's without the bread. It's not because I want to make him mad, because I'm just like, hey, no cards. It's lettuce. It's kind of like your chicken bun. This is like, except lettuce is the bun, and they make a number 12 unwich, and they just look at me like, are you serious? Yes, I am. Is it on the menu? Yes. You can choose your bread, or you can do an unwich, any sandwich at an unwich, or, yeah. So is the no-carb thing like out of fashion now or something? I mean, if it's that uncommon, I mean, is it like, is the no-carb? Well, I don't know if it's not common. It's just a pain to make.

Oh, is it? It's kind of a pain to eat, because then you've got to tear it off a little piece at a time, because you can't just open the thing up. It'll fall all over the place, you know? So you kind of rip around the top and chew it down and rip it down a little more. Chew it. It's actually really tasty. I've never heard of such a thing. Yeah. It's good. Look, it's on the menu. Do they deliver to our studio? I'm just going to be leaving random states throughout the broadcast. Are they open this late? Is Jimmy John's even open? I think so. Isn't that kind of a college thing? They're open at like 2 in the morning, I think. Monica, and she gets them, you know, they bring them. They'll deliver it in the middle of the night, one sandwich. We're college students open until like 11 o'clock sometimes. We totally got an order from Jimmy John's. Oh, we should do that during the broadcast, bring it? Yeah. They can bring their scooter up the escalator. They don't all have scooters. Why do you keep saying that?

Well, you've seen one guy with a scooter. Now the whole fleet gets their own scooter. That is not Freaky Fast. A scooter is not Freaky Fast. No. I know. I think the, what is that, the Dodge Spirit is the common Jimmy John's delivery vehicle as far as I've seen. I've got a neighbor. No. Utah. He does a scooter, and he wears his pajama pants, and he puts on like his helmet, and he's driving around like he's like real professional, and I'm always like, really? I just thought I'd share that. It's like J.D. off of Scrubs. Never mind. Exactly. Nobody will watch the Scrubs. You are J.D. Seriously. You don't know how many times we've watched that. That is Jared. Jared is J.D. I would cry if I were you after that statement. I often see you having those conversations. Interesting. So everybody thinks I haven't turned a mile a lot.

You've never heard that. You've heard that all the time. Does that mean that I'm terribly dashing handsome, or does that mean that I'm… It's like people call me Rocky all the time. I don't find him that attractive. Who, Zach Braff? Yeah. I don't either. I mean, he's alright, but I don't find him, I don't find him, you know, attractive. No. Kind of artsy? No, that whole show gives me heartburn. Jared's a worship and arts guy. You've got to be artsy. If you're not artsy, you shouldn't be worshiping arts. Crub, seriously. Not at all. Well, it's not even good anymore, but it was good. I didn't see it when it was good, and I gave it plenty of chances. It got to be, at times, I had to turn it off because my children were around. They just got to, they turned a corner at some point. Yeah, they did. Did it turn foul? Yeah. Yeah, let's go ahead and talk about sex every other commercial break. That's what it says. Ask Lane Bryant.

Who's he? That a boy. Jared does not shop for ladies' clothing anywhere. It is a large ladies' department store. I'm just kidding. I know who he is. Is it an actual dude? Is it a guy? I don't know. You know more than we do already. I bet his wife loves him. What a cool guy. I love Lane Bryant. You know what, honey? I'm tired of you having to fight for clothing. I'm just going to open up a store. Good man. Good man. So, Daddy, did you find that scrubs fell off or did you stick with it until the end? I know the chat's behind, so I won't be able to tell. But if you can answer, I'm just interested. The chat can't get enough Dan. Everybody loves Dan. Me? They can't hear him. I love you, too. Yeah, I think that was his name.

This is Velvet Crush. He doesn't stick his face to that. He doesn't say Velvet Crush. Doggone it. What men do I find attractive? Okay. Okay, I can answer this one. Yeah. He's looking at me. I find Russell Crowe appealing. Oh, Robin Hood. He's good looking. Now, hold on. It's coming out pretty soon. It is. Oh, yeah, that's right. I was like. I think Matt Damon is handsome, Dan. I don't get it. I think Matt Damon is handsome as well. I agree. Who? Matt Damon. Do you find it, though, that there's some people that just because of their attitude that completely turns their attractiveness? I mean, even if you were just talking about, you know, brand of people, but, like, I can't stand Matt Damon just because of his attitude, and he's just a jerk.

I'm sorry. Would have you met him? Yeah. No, I mean, just like all the. You got behind him in the Jimmy John's line? No, no, no, no, no. No, didn't you ever see him? Like, he was on some talk show. He was like, man, not that I'm a, you know, he, like, totally just started ripping on, like, Sarah Palin like she was some kind of piece of trash, and it's like, you know, it's just totally unnecessary, but it was like, because he's, you know, popular and he's got a name that's recognizable, he could just trash somebody and win over a few thousand people, you know? That's what we're kind of working for here. Yeah, me included. I really enjoy him. I've changed my ticket. I will no longer vote the way I was going to vote. I've bought new clothes. It's all over. That was it for me. I'm easily influenced by media as well. All right. Sorry about the Matt Damon bashing. I've easily influenced in general. You ever get those dudes that come to your door-to-door trying to sell, like, all orange cleaner, or especially cleaning products?

Yeah. It does not matter what they say, I will buy it. Not currently, but, I mean, back in the day, I probably spent $300 to $400 a year on fly-by-night salesmen. Amway. That sold cleaning products. I think that was about it, what they got me on, but I don't think I've ever bought a thing. You know, the guy drank it. That's what sold me. He said, it's all natural. And he took off the cap, took a swig. I say, that's natural. Either that or this guy is… Or you're an idiot. Or this guy is, you know, keeping a bottle of orange juice and then sliding me the wrist off, only to find me overdosed on it the next day after I drank half the bottle showing my buddies. You'll never guess what I could do with this stuff. It's cheaper to buy orange juice. It cleans the esophagus. I'm pretty sure my esophagus does not need any cleansing. What does the duodenum do? Is that part of the digestive tract? The who? The what? Duodenum.

Can you say that real fast three times? Real fast, real fast, real fast. No, duodenum? Duodenum. No? Nothing? This is a family show. Olson? I've got nothing. Olson, are you on? Can you find us information about the duodenum? I'm fairly certain. There he is. How do you spell that? Olson is on. I want to compliment Olson on the greeting ministry. Duodenum? Are things going well? It sounds like a country in Africa. Are things going well, Dan? Duodenum, Africa. No, I was just kind of funny. It's a real little thinking back a few weeks. Never mind. Your wife is in medicine. What? She knows duodenum.

Duwandum. No. You're saying it wrong. I probably am. You're saying it like Rwanda. Duodenum. Duwandum. No, you're missing it. Duodenum. Duwandanum? I don't know what to do to you. I don't know what to say now. It's like an andabominum? Duodenum. Aluminium. You're saying it wrong. Duwanda. Hubba hubba. I have no idea what you're saying. We got an answer yet? No. I don't know what Olson's up to. Olson. Pants has voted for himself, though, as the handsome guy. Ooh. Pants. I have to say, I look at him and I go, fine man.

Do you not see Nicolas Cage when you see Pants? I see Nicolas Cage when I see Pants. Oh, I can see that. I don't know about that. I know you guys have argued with me before. I swear, it's Nicolas Cage. No, and when he was wearing those chops, he looked pretty good. Do you like that Nicolas Cage? Pants needs to grow his hair out. He's crazy. He's crazy, too. Put some chains around him. Get him some black leather jacket and a motorcycle. Who? Pants. Chains around him? Put him on fire. He was a ghost rider. I was just being… Oh. That had to have been one of the worst movies I've ever seen, too. People said that. I liked Ghost Rider, though. I did. So I tolerated the movie, just because it was Ghost Rider. It was cool. I find that odd.

It was just cool. I find that odd that you enjoyed that. He's some kind of hellcat with a skull and a fire for a face. It was by accident. And you won't buy Paul Newman's dressing because of his political stance. He was fighting Satan the whole time. I don't know. He was doing good. He was using Satan's power for good. Where did he get his powers from? From Satan. He got his powers from Satan. I'm not saying I identify with him. I'm not saying that he's a cool guy. I just said when I was in third grade, it was a cool comic. I find it odd that the people that you would draw giving your money to, and Ghost Rider is the exception, the demonic bike-riding vigilante. Tell him it was a red box, Dan. Tell him it was a red box. Wait. So Olsen, is that digestive tract or stomach? I think it's opening night. No. What? The Dewanum. Is it the digestive tract or stomach? Did he agree it's a real item?

Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah, that's an agreement. Like I said. I think a mechanic said I needed to work on that on my car once. That pass for comedy at your house? No. There's no drugs here, Dan. I have no idea what you're talking about. No Dewanum answer, huh? I'm telling you, it's dead on. I think you're right. I think it is something. I just don't know what it is, either. Yeah, I got nothing. No. Let me check. Oh, wait. This is pretty worth it. Minnesota. Holy buckets. All right, Olsen. Now Olsen's like pasting crap in here. Hey, the Dewanum is the first section of the small intestine in most vertebrates, including mammals, reptiles, and birds. In fish, the divisions of the small intestine are not as clear. Ooh.

Fish have indistinct small intestine divisions, and the terms anterior intestine or proximal intestine may be used instead of Dewanum. I was going to say anterior intestine, but I thought it would confuse you. I made a mistake. How did it come up, anyway? What were we talking about? We were talking about our digestive tract. It's all part of conversation. And I've heard the name Dewanum. Hey, man, I'll tell you something else I saw today. I got within three foot of an owl, and I've never seen an owl, except for in the dark. Was it coming after you? No, he was on the other side of a window, and I was walking through the room, you know. How's that? Yeah, hold on. Wait. Okay, go ahead. That's how I do it. I walk this way. And so anyway. I find that kind of attractive. I'm walking through the room going, And I see this owl, and he kind of turns and looks at me a little bit, and then he sees me, and then he does this number. And so I don't know what's going on here, because I thought owls were nocturnal animals, you know, nighttime only. Unless they have rabies.

And so now there's a, so it's nine o'clock in the morning, and now there's an owl giving me the business, you know. And so I can't decide what to do. Now there's a pane of glass separating us, you know. So no one else is around, so I taunt him a bit, you know. So I do it. So now the owl's doing this, and I'm doing this. You know they fly, right? He'll see you some sooner or later. Yeah. So I'm really hoping, I don't know how good the owl memory is. You know, I'm hoping it's poor. Because if he sees me, they did me down, they did me down, rocking down the street. And he pulls one of these numbers again, and I'm defenseless. And he comes from behind. I'll be in some trouble. I don't want to beef with an owl. I just wanted to see what they would do. Maybe he's got some babies nearby. I think he was a baby. He was a baby? I don't know. He was confused. He was, oh, we're not eating people. He was on his own, hanging out in a window. Now, some people would take that as like a bad omen, seeing an owl. You said he was behind glass.

Like, where were you at? In a room. In a, what was it? It's like a… A room with a glassed owl in it? Well, no, no. He wasn't caged. He was outside. Sitting in the window sill. Oh, you were inside. He was outside. Yeah. No, he wasn't in the room, and I was tapping on the glass. That's what I thought was weird. Like, it's his place. Doing the owl flop. Like, he went to his place. I can do this better than you, owl. You're in my house now. That's right. What did the owl say anyway? Olsen, what did you do with it? Olsen hit an owl with his car. Ooh, that'd be a dent. Yeah, what did you do with that car, with that owl, Olsen? Did you eat it? It's stuffed in their living room.

Do people eat owl? Olsen might. Olsen, do you eat owls? Did they name it? After it was already dead? That's a bit morbid, isn't it? You'd stuff it and put it in your living room? You'd think that'd be a real thing to the teeth if you hit him and then you go, I name you Steven. Sorry, Steven. I declare you dead. I'm out. He's out with the Altoona now in the sports place. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Too hard on his duodenum. Do what? Olsen. So, what is that? I'll go back to that. Okay, now, what is it again? Is that in fish? Where did the fish come from? No, no, they also have a duodenum, but their digestive, the parts of their small intestine tend to be indistinct, so instead of calling it a certain section of duodenum, I think they have different names for it. So, where is it on us? It's somewhere in the digestive.

It's illegal to eat owls? It's part of the small intestine. Part of the small. It's the beginning of the small intestine. I don't know why we have to name it. I don't know. Maybe it's caused someone trouble. Maybe someone has a duodenum. Do they order me a new duodenum? You think they get mechanical duodenums from pigs? My duodenum is worn out. You never know. How do you say it again? Duwandum. No, no. Duwandudum. I don't know if this is even worth it. Condominium. Duodenum. Duodenum? No, du-wa. Du-wa. Dinum. Duodenum. Duodenum. Duodenum. Yeah, that's better.

Duodenum. Du-wa. We have a fish in our aquarium. Speaking of duodenums, we have a fish in our aquarium that literally had a three-inch duodenum hanging out of its backside, swimming around it. It was not present. It was not pretty. Is that a euphemism for poop? Or is that literally his small intestine was hanging out of them? I did not look. It was the rest of the family looking at it closer. And I was like, I'm not interested in seeing that. Maybe you shouldn't have gotten an all-glass fish tank. I think you've invited it upon yourself. It was like an airplane, you know, with a thing flying behind it. It was just like, that's not right. Maybe that's what he thinks of the way you keep your household. Maybe you need to keep your next-door neighbor's fish away from your fish. And, you know, maybe it's babies or something like that. That's possible. He goes out and plays. Are your fish promiscuous? We throw the fish out in the yard. What? Do you have promiscuous fish that gallivate a part of the neighborhood? They get it round. Hmm.

Oh, I knew it. I knew this would come up. Uh-oh. As soon as we start talking about owls, the woman's got this, uh, it's got this sportsmanparadiseonline.com. And there's another, now, I will grant this pretty cool. I just knew it was coming. It's an, you can see a live owl's nest. Like, someone has got a camera up in, like, an owl's nest. And so you can see this, this, uh, this owl in there with the babies hatching out and, like, feeding it and stuff. I think that's stupid. I don't like, you know, like the meerkat manor. What do you mean? I don't like it. Why? Why wouldn't you want to see it? Because I think if you're going to meet an owl, you should do it a one-on-one confrontation through glass. And sass it. Exactly. With puff feathers. I think you should, you should roast him. Show him who's boss. What is it? Wait a minute. Did you make a, I, I'm going to, that's what I would have done.

Well, that's not what they do. Then they're going to know you're phony. What do I mean? What does he say? What is it now? Just, you know, listen here. I keep hearing doves outside the window, and I think it's an owl, but it's not an owl. The woman says it's doves. Go, hoo, hoo. So that's a dove. There's no owls at my place. I was excited because I thought I had a team of owls. What are you calling me? If you let a little puppy outside for a while at night, you'll know if you have doves or owls. You'll know in one night. You think an owl will pick up the dog and haul it away? Yeah, we have friends who used to have their kittens disappear all the time. One time they found them all up in the nest. You know, that's actually what… That's actually what Bob Barker believes in, if you have… Spay and neuter, or get an owl. Yeah, or keep an owl about. Takes care of the population. I read an autobiography. He's something else. He's pretty white, man. Like this.

Can you… Did somebody on the chat say it was illegal to eat owl? Like, they're not endangered, are they? Are owls endangered? Wyoming. There's owls in white. Maybe they are. I've never had the desire to really… I don't read the right propaganda. You know, a guy that's willing to eat an owl, I don't know that's stopped by low-level laws. Spotted owls, indeed. Don't eat them, you know? So can you eat a non-spotted owl? Like, if he doesn't have any spots, is he able to be eaten? What if you shave him down? You kill him, name him. I don't see any spots. So you hit him with your car, you name him Stephen, you shave him bald, and then you die. It was him or me. Okay, okay. Mike, do the owl. Hold on. There's wide requests for the owl move again. Do it. Who's this?

I think you should make a noise with it. I did. But I'm trying to recreate the story. Dan, you recreate… Dan, you recreate… Hold on. Dan, you create what Mike is doing as an owl, but I want you to add a noise to it that you think an owl would make when he is getting irritated. Go ahead. Irritated owl? Yeah. Go ahead. Whenever you're ready. It'd be a screech owl, I suppose. We're all waiting. I'm waiting for the owl. Oh, you want me to irritate? Oh, I thought you were supposed to do it at the same time. Okay, Mike, go ahead and do it again. And then Dan will be like… It was a lot better in my mind. I think he was choking on a puppy. Yeah. I'm choking on an owl. Excuse me. That sounded like a constipated owl.

Their bones are kind of sharp. All right. Hold on. I'm most certainly going to do… Okay. Ready? Are we ready? Ready? Watch. He's irritated, right? And I'm trying to roast him back. I go… That's like feathering his feathers. Yeah. That's what he's doing. That's what he understands. Me going… Maybe you could get him to go… Oh, Jimmy, John. Oh, Jimmy. Hey, you. I'm coming. That scared the bejesus out of me. I would leave immediately. Oh, Jimmy, John. Oh, Jimmy, John. That is awesome.

They need one of those hitting up in the Van Marr parking lot. That's what they need. You see those? No. They're like fake owls. Like in the parking ramp that they have on Van Marr. They got owls up in there, so they keep the birds from nesting up there and stuff. Nice. How birds are stupid. I mean, they're only scarecrows. Yeah, but like the fakest thing. I mean, it doesn't take much to scare a bird off. Yeah, a dude full of hay, a phony owl inside of a parking garage, a pane of glass. Hey, remember we were out looking at that house, though, Mike, and that bird came right at us and tried to take a flying wheelie? No. A liquid poopsie right at us. Oh, he came flying out of the barn. A wheelie. Shot it out. I've heard this before. Flying wheelie? What? Oh, sorry. If I remember our conversation from two weeks ago, or last week, no euphemisms. So, a flying liquid bird poop. Dan.

A white present. I'm blaming you for whatever it is I think about this matter. Excrement. He sounds like he said something and you missed it and he's finishing it up like, I went to the store. I'm like, I'm giving a Mack truck and escorts a car hoard kind of thing, you know? I think owls are dishonest, too. Well, they're known. They're known. I believe they're… I was going to ask you that. Do owls have a connection with the occult? Are they known to be a demonic animal like a cat? See, I don't know. Somebody said that, like, somebody came to me and said, like, I saw an owl today and, you know, I just know somebody or me is going to die. I was like, okay. I didn't know there was… Who's going to die? I didn't… Just somebody? Yeah. I don't know that it's… Are they going to die by owl? I'm pretty sure someone's going to die. You can see anything inside. I'm pretty sure someone's going to die.

Can't you just see an owl in a trench coat looking over his own… His heart like this? A little cape? Yeah. With a sickle? Hey, you. It's the deaf owl. That's how you know it's coming. How do owls sleep, Mike? Talons up. Talons up. That's how I'll sleep. So they can't be attacked from the sky. They sleep on their back. So they kind of play dead. Talons in the air. Yeah. Really? No. That's ridiculous. I was like, how long did they balance on a branch? I've only been to a bass post shop once. I don't know. Yeah. It shows what you know. You don't know anything about the duodenum. You know nothing of the nocturnal sleeping habits of the owl.

Maybe you should go on that live broadcast of the owlness to see if you can get some information. Have you ever had a close encounter with an animal, Daniel? We'll call it a wild animal. Not like a fincher. I can't tell any Cheryl stories right now. It's best to be not. Like if you tried to pet a pig or something. I heard you can't beat those things back with a shovel. I heard they are mean, mean animals. I don't know. Have you tried to pet a pig? Who? I don't know. I'm just asking. Have you had that experience? Where you've petted a pig? I've petted a little one. At the fair. I like to touch that big testicleed one at the fair barns. I mean, that one that they have to put like three cages around? Yeah. Everyone else is kind of looking at them like, just sneak my head in there and poke them. Hey, wait a minute. What are you going to do? What are you going to do, buddy? What are you going to do, big man? Catch me.

Look what you've done to yourself. Brett, I think we're going to need to hear more about that bird that hit. Brett says a bird hit him in the chest at 55 miles per hour. Like you were standing still and he came at you at 55 miles an hour? Was it a motorcycle? How do you know how fast he was going? I think he's saying how fast he was going. What? It says in the chest. Hit me in the chest. That'd be like a motorcycle, right? He was right. Yeah. That makes way more sense than an owl that zooms around at 55. Oh, you were standing up in the back of a truck? Well, you might have deserved that. I'm just saying. Was he Teen Wolf surfing back there? Yeah. What causes a man to end up in the back of a truck standing? Well, you don't want to. What if you have to go to the bathroom? You don't want to do it sitting down in the truck. Why does everything come back to some kind of excretion with you? It's kind of bathroom humor night. Are you saying that's not true? Okay.

Okay. Bathrooms. Okay. I got to say. Speaking of bathrooms. All right. Do you hate being the guy that, okay, it's like a unisex bathroom and you walk out or you walk in right after somebody is just like totally made a mess of the place and then like you walk out and then there's somebody else that walks in and you're like, you so want to say, not me, man. Totally not me. Oh, yeah. They blame you. I'm the guy who was before you. Exactly. That's kind of fun. It's public. You can leave. I think you have to hang out in it for your own best interest until the smell goes away. No, I've done that before. And you know that you're following someone else and I don't know if it was them or not, but they're thinking, oh, man. They're thinking. Exactly. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like the one next to the Target, like next to the pharmacy.

I have to take my kids in there all the time. It's like, you just got to, you know, you've got the fastest way to do it. So you take kids in there. You walk out and everybody's like, ah, you know. I mean, it's just like that look you get from people when you walk out. No, that's true. I hate that. I think you have to hang out in there. I think that's the way to do it. How long do you want to stay? Until people won't blame you for the smelliness. Well, that means you have to sit in on the smelly. So here's your option. Either you can deal with the man's smelliness that you just encountered or someone will blame you for it. No, I would rather be blamed for it than sit in it for the virtue of the guy coming behind me. How long do you think it takes something like that to go away? 10 minutes? That's on the vent. Yeah, I'd run the fans. I might open the door and see if anybody's out there. And if someone is, I'd be like, oh, just kidding. I can feel the rumbling. I might say something. I'd just walk out and say, man, whoever was before me, whoo-hoo, they had an issue. I wasn't going to believe that because that's exactly what you would say if you would have been the guy that did it.

You would say, oh, yeah, the guy before me certainly left a mess in there. Yeah, no one believes that story. I'll tell you what happened to me at the Menards last week. It's not a very long story, but needless to say, I was in the facilities, and then a gentleman comes in, and I hear the atrocious noises. Atrocious. And then he says, I'm all right. And I couldn't decide if I wanted to respond, and I did. I said, all right. Thank you. I didn't know what else to say. I mean, it was pretty bad, but I wasn't concerned for his welfare. It was very awkward. But I did appreciate that he said something because a lot of people, they'll go in there and make some really inappropriate noises and then just go, where are they appropriate? What happens if it turned the other way? What do you mean? What happened if it turned the other way? And he's like, I'm not okay. If he'd have said, things have gone awry, I'd have said, let me get somebody. You're not. I'm coming in. I would have gone. I got a plunger. Now's the time. You had no idea this was coming. I'll tell you what I've noticed about my said habits at work is that where two or more

are gathered in a men's bathroom at one time, I will not be there. I can't. I just can't. I mean, there's room for four. A two is my limit. I just, I don't know. I don't know what the deal is. I just don't want to be a part of it. It's not for me. There's guys that go to other floors. Yeah. They like take off to other floors. I'm very private about my excrement time. Yeah. I like to do it outside the house on purpose. Outside. When you say outside, you mean like. Oh. Hold on. There's laws against this. I mean, like at businesses. Okay. By the garage. Because of really green grass. You've got a bush that's really flourishing. I mean, only because I, in fact, when my daughter was potty training, and still is actually, like, you know, they go to that phase where they live and play with the toilet paper.

I thought, well, you ain't going to cure this at my place. I'll run out of toilet paper. So we went to the Target. And we played with that toilet paper for a half hour. And then I bought some more toilet paper. Just figured I could come out even. I don't like public restrooms at all. They're public. Do you put down the paper? You put down the wax paper? I know what other people have done in their lives. But you know that the shopping carts are worse than the bathrooms. I know. No one wipes their bum on the shopping cart. They didn't. You know how many guys don't wash their hands? Oh, it's scary. I sit there washing my hands. Do-do-do-do-do. Hold on. And there's like 17 guys walking by me. I'm going, dude. Mike, get back up in there. I'm going to touch that door handle, and I'm going to touch it next. Are we getting nailed for the bathroom humor? I know where that hand's been. Eh.

Eh. But I don't know where the other part's been. How many other places could your butt cheeks have been that it's that big of a deal? I mean, they're inside a pair of pants, I would hope. I was talking about other potential parts, too. On the seat? All right. They're all right. Okay. When a man loves a woman. I'm not. Thanks for joining our Christian radio show. I blame Carson for this. Live from the bathroom. I blame Carson. Carson, big trouble. All right. How did we get… Hey, to combine a couple of themes here, did you guys ever dissect that owl poop when you were in school? No. Like, didn't they… Not everybody did that? I mean, with their students. How did they get… I'm laughing at the where would Jesus do on the chat. Where would Jesus do?

Sorry. Probably wherever. Does it matter? What if he washed his hands? Well, I think so. No, because it wasn't readily available. See, Dan? You're taking steps outside the biblical path. He didn't have a doorknob to have… So the next guy who did wash his hands had to touch. It was good enough for him. I have to always take the paper towel and kind of, you know, I'm not going to touch it. I don't know. I just… Life's too short. I don't bother with it. No, I agree. That's why I try to get pretty… That's the only place I'm, like, freaky about. I eat raw chicken. I don't eat it. I'll touch raw chicken. You Ozzy Osbourne over here. Yeah. Woman, but leprosy is not passed via fecal material. There's a lot of other things that are, though. Yeah.

Remember the restaurant? You ever seen a healthy now? What? There's a restaurant. Never mind. I shouldn't… Yeah. What restaurant? Tell it to you. No, no. I was a restaurant a couple of years ago. Is it a blip? I got in trouble for it. Oh, I got in trouble for it. They're not serving it. No. Somebody got caught some kind of disease because somebody wasn't washing their hands when they went to the bathroom. It's one of the… Wasn't that bad? Trostles. Huh? You don't know that. It's one of the trostles. No, it's not slander on the radio. What is it you always hear? It could be.

People get, like, salad bars and stuff and clean lettuce that has, you know, bird… Rabbits that didn't, you know, clean their hands afterward or something that… You know, I'm always surprised that they don't do everything through a closed dispenser at a salad bar. That would save a lot of time, you know? Like, to keep the lettuce in a chute that you just open the thing and it falls out, close it up. You know, same thing with the carrots. Shoot, shoot, everything. You know, because that way you don't have to worry about cross-contamination. You keep it cool. Whatever. Hmm. That's a good point. Yeah. Except for the wilty lettuce. I can just see it just really… There's got to be a way to do that. There are smart people out there. I can engineer some. Well, I mean… Yeah, like a little arm that, like, flips it over, you know? Yeah. It's an actual robotic arm with a plate and it says cool butler things like, You're welcome, sir. There's not too much for you. Salad again, sir. Back again, I see. Another drink.

Hey, you guys go to the circus? Did you guys go to the shrine circus thing? Like this past weekend? Yeah. Now, is this the one, like, with all the retired animals that are about dead? I don't know. But if it is, don't tell my kids. Way to go, Dan. Well, I mean, you can tell by the fact they can barely still walk. Some of those groups bring in the circuses. You're like, really? Maybe. That was an elephant once, huh? But I've got to tell you, though, the bears were doing things that I couldn't do. I mean, they're riding this bicycle thing that's, like, you know, 10 foot tall. I'm walking on their hands. I can't do that. I had, like, five goats there. I can't even ride a bike. I passed up all of them. Sit in a chair. Walk straight. Put my makeup on correctly. Buy a decent pair of khaki pants. But they put them on a tutu. Oh. Hey.

Man capris. We went to a circus a few years ago when the kids were young. And it was, like, this big outdoor thing. And it was a big fundraiser for the community. And everybody was, woo-hoo, a big sighting. And we got there. And it was, like, all the animals are about dead. You know, they barely walk. Even the employee people that were doing all the little stunts. You could tell they were, like, you know, you did this in your prime 50 years ago. It was really cool, I bet, then. But, you know, they could barely walk, let alone go on a wire or something. It was so sad. This wasn't that bad. No, it actually didn't. That's some good stuff. There's actually some parts that freaked me out. Like, when I was, like, running on this thing. And he, like, I don't know. I know a lot of it's, like, show, you know, like, hey, I'm going to fall. Whoa, look at me. But that's the whole show. I'm going to do it. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm going to do it. Exactly.

Yeah. You know, he's, like, tripping over the road. Oh, I tripped over the road. This might be the day. In the circus of death. No, no. Sniper Falls. This dude going across these buildings, you know, on a high wire. And it was just like. He bit it? What? He bit it? No, no. Oh. No. But it was pretty windy. See, everyone was disappointed. It was like. So it's a long ways up. I mean, it was just like, dude. I mean, there's no net down there, you know. I was secretly kind of thought if he would fall, this would be kind of a cool time. But I didn't really wish it on him. Hey, another vacation to remember. I'm coming home to you, Jesus. We went to the salad. We went to the cereal buffet.

And I saw a guy die. I'm fine. It's the best vacation ever. It's a great day on vacation. Wish you were here. Hey, Niagara Falls. Another vacation spot, by the way, to post. Where is Niagara Falls? Canada. Is it? Right up from New York. You understand Superman? New York? No. Well, maybe I have. I don't recall. It's really a pretty cool place. Fairly inexpensive. Yeah? Yeah. You had a great time. How far away is it from here? You fly into Buffalo, New York. Oh, wow. Do they have a bunch of cheap film credits in Canada? It seems like a lot of the shows that I catch are Canada. Are filmed in Canada.

Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, there's always the flag at the end. You don't want Canada? Huh? What? There used to be a whole lot in Iowa. That didn't work out so well. No. But they got some cool cars. You know, I didn't really catch the gist of what happened there. Like, were they really reaming it something fiercer? No, it was like, from what I understand, it was like, they said, okay, hey, I'm going to have a film business in Iowa, or, you know, they're going to buy stuff from Iowa, but actually, they're just importing it for somebody else, you know, and saying that they bought it in Iowa, so they get the tax credit from Iowa. Are there people actually going to jail because of this? I don't know. Yeah, it's politics, they won't. They'll make it extinct publicly, and we'll all think, oh, yeah, they sure got what to come, and they'll get more money or something. Matt Damon will come, and he'll just put down his face. He'll say, I've had enough of this. It's your pain in his fault. Come here, Mike. Let's go to McDonald's or to Trostles. He's really not Jason Bourne, okay?

You know that, right? Okay, I'm just making sure. He could save me if I was in trouble. Anyway, owls are dishonest. That's all I'm saying. Never do business with owls. Don't trust one. If he says he's got a deal for you, he does, but it's not what you think it is. It's all coming around, Daniel. It's all coming around. I'll tell you about this later. All right. I did use the ladies' restroom here tonight, though. The dude's room was locked. I have no problem using the women's restroom if it's open. At all. Really? Zero. Have you ever wanted to change the sign on it when somebody's in there? And they had the confrontation with the smelly guy? Hello. I was thinking about that at the circus, because they had those names. I think they had the signs. Was it because of the bearded lady? I don't know which one to go into. So, what do you do? Exactly.

Stand up in the back of a truck? I would love to do that to somebody sometime. It'd be funny. I bet they'd creep them out. I wouldn't be creeped out. I'd take the sign. I would take it home with me. Have you ever walked into the wrong one accidentally? Yeah. So, what if you were the guy in there, and the son of a change of signs, a couple of women lock in, and you're in the bathroom, and you're like, okay, I hear people talking out there, and they're standing at the sink talking. Are they always coming to us? Yeah, exactly. I think you say something like, oh, my daughter's coming. And then go to the bathroom and go, you must not have made it. See ya. You guys don't have those cool urinal cakes. I thought this would be a great place to pick up some ladies. They all seem to come here. Sometimes, Daniel. At least he's not talking about family reunions. For picking up ladies. It's a two-tier joke. Oh, that's like a Kentucky thing. Oh, dear. Triple Creek.

What's that? Who sings that one? I don't know. That about does us in. We're going to take… Can you send us out on an owl? Yeah. I'll do what I can. I can't even do it. We're going to take a quick break. There's my screech owl. All right. That's just obnoxious. All right. We're going to take a quick break. Five minutes. We'll be coming back with some live music from Jared Roy, the worship pastor at Pathway Church. Again, you are listening to Live from the Path on WorldwideAmplified.com. I'm going to go ahead and give a first shot at live music with us today. He's been talking with us. And this is Jared Roy. He's the worship minister, worship pastor at Pathway Church in Johnston, which is where we all go. And just to reiterate the facts, we meet on Sundays at 10 a.m. at Wallace Elementary. We would love to have you out there if you're looking for a church. More importantly, if you're looking for a relationship with Jesus Christ, we would love to see you. This is Jared Roy.

I'm so tired from walking, and Lord, I'm so alone. Lord, the dark is creeping in, is creeping up to swallow me. I think I'll stop and rest here a while. This is all that I can say right now. This is all that I can get and say right now. This is all that you'd remember, I sat it down, and this is all, this is all that I can say right now. This is all that I can, this is all that I can, this is all that I can get. Didn't know that that was you holding me, didn't notice you, that was you washing my feet, and this is all, this is all that I can say right now. This is all that I can get. This is all that I can say right now, right now. This is all that I can get. It's my everything. That was great. All right, we are going to take another just quick two-minute break, get ourselves re-situated, and the cool lights back off so you can see the bright faces of everybody on Life in the Path. We'll be right back with you. Since I came. Since I came. All right, all right. Thank you for your patience with us as we're getting to come back from the break. I thought it was really great, Jared. Thanks for coming in. Thanks for letting me in. It's fun. I will say what a Christian say.

Thanks for coming in and sharing that with us, Jared. That's very blessed. Yeah. That usually means it really stunk. When you say thanks for sharing, it's kind of like, that was unique. Go ahead and try that again. Did you hear my sweet background vocals? I did. I did. Ben turned the microphone down. No, I didn't. It was going to be terrible. I turned it up, but I turned the one by me close. Because I have a smooth baritone. You guys have heard me sing. You know I'm great. According to that, too. I think it more of a kidney stone baritone. It was all right. I do all right. I agree. Give us a bit of it. You tell me. Do you know the beginnings to Surf and Bird? What it means? What is Surf and Bird? That's not really singing.

Yeah, it is. Is it? That's what the baritones do. Bird, bird, bird. The bird is a word. The bird, bird, bird. The bird is a word. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. You know what other song I'm talking about? Too old for me. How about one elephant went out to play? You guys know that one? Oh, I remember. You don't have a dog on it. Don't placate me. Hey, is that Lois, Sharon, and Bram? Sharon, Lois, and Bram? Sharon, Lois, and Bram, yeah. Are they the ones that did Puff and the Magic Dragon? I don't know. No, you're right. Bram did. You're thinking of… They were on Puff and Stuff. No. Peter Paul and Mary. Peter Paul and Mary, yeah.

Peter Paul and Mary. You guys probably never saw Puff and Stuff, did you? H.R. Puff and Stuff? Yeah, well, you know. No, he just heard the words. He doesn't know. He's never seen it. I've got the shirt. He doesn't know. He's been taken in. A little marijuana flute. I saw a dude pass me by with a marijuana hat the other day. Oh, they're everywhere. I thought, why? Why a weed hat? I've got to ask. You don't just share a cigarette with somebody, right? I don't. Not at the current price. Okay. If you're walking down the street and you see somebody take something that they're smoking out of their mouth and hand it to somebody else, that's not a cigarette, is it? No. They're either homeless or that's weed. Yeah, it was next to a bar. There's like 15 people walking. Oh, yeah, that's weed.

Yeah. Was it kind of skinny? I didn't see it. All I saw was that you'd smoke this and then hand it over here. If it was just a cigarette, you'd just give them one, right? Have you ever had anybody ask to try to sell you weed? No. Oh, but I was in junior high. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Go ahead. No, I'm going to hear a story. I'm going to hear a drug story. You said three yards, so you have to tell it. I was like 10. And it was like the town where my parents had their business, and I used to just roam the town. When they did their business? Yeah. Yeah, you know. Did they wash their hands? Well, yes, of course. Daniel. We're off of that. We've been to a break since then. It's the man's parents, Daniel.

We're trying to talk about weed. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I remember walking. I remember he was a friend of my brother's, but he was an older guy, and boy, so many weird stories about that guy, but yeah, I remember him asking me, say, hey, what's some stuff? And come on in, you know? But that's all I remember is that, you know, I was like 10. I was like… Like Oreo stuff? Did he show it to you? No, but I… I was wondering why they presented it in a clear plastic baggie. I figured I would conceal it, so it would not be. Yeah. Obviously, it is weed. But maybe they hadn't washed their hands. They wanted to keep it clean. I don't know that they're hygienically, you know, geared like you might be sick. I'm so concerned. Maybe. When they lace it with Ajax, then you're trying to… They've got Fritos on their fingers, and they're like, ooh, here's the deal. So, what's your story? Mine isn't that exciting. It was just, I was in seventh grade, just moved in back into the community we had moved out of, and I didn't have my gym clothes, I didn't have a uniform, so I was sitting

out, and I'm sitting next to these two dudes, and they go, hey, man, you want to buy half an ounce? I'm absolutely clueless. I'm like, half an ounce of what? You know, I'm thinking Cheerios, flour, you know. Because that would be sweet if you had some Cheerios on you. Yeah, I know. I'm like, what do you sell a half an ounce of in gym class, you know? And they absolutely laughed at me, and I'm like, I have no idea. Then I found out later. It was like, oh, they were trying to… Now I'm not going to buy it. I only buy it by the ounce. I used to know a guy who used to snort salt. Did that work? No, he just made his nose bleed. Who did what? I knew a guy that used to snort salt. Iodized salt? Yeah. Sea salt? That's going to get stuck. Ooh. That'll get stuck in your cavities. Hey, I'm going to tell you something about cavities. You ever get a toothache? Here's the thing you do.

You rinse with vanilla. Like real vanilla. Pure? Not the vanilla extract. You can't do the cheap extract. It doesn't work. But if you need it, it'll deaden your nerves like that. It's awesome. Wow. Really? They thought I was a seeker at my dentist's office and wouldn't give me the real drugs. Here's some vanilla. I was in some real pain now. Mostly because they tried to give me that Tylenol with codeine. And I say, right off the bat, I say, it don't work. And they say, what do you mean it don't work? I said, no, it doesn't work. I said, I'll tell you, I'll take it with me. I'm going to call back tomorrow. And I did. I called. I said, this stuff's not working. I said, you're going to give me something, you know? And they said, well, you know, you have Tylenol with codeine, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, we've got to call. I'm dying on the couch, you know? I swear, I'm this close to death.

You know, I see an owl approaching. And I'm like, this is the end for me. It's the death owl. It's sickle. With a big tooth. Yeah, so the lady gets on the net and starts, you know, getting on these crazy homeopathic websites for all natural type folks. And don't look at me. Everybody looks to Ben. Do not look at me. Can you confirm? And anyway. I naturally medicate. This vanilla, I mean, it works perfectly. But I only had this much. And it's expensive. And you just swish it around? Do you mix it with water? No, straight in. Like, I tried mixing it with, you try clove, a clove solution. No, good. Vanilla. That's the business. Put a little flour in there. No, don't try to add to it or make it anything more than it is, Daniel. It's vanilla. Vanilla. Fascinating.

I have to remember that. What? I didn't say anything. Yeah, you did. I like that work for the kids. I like to. You eyebrowed me. I've seen it. It's what you don't say. You've got to make sure they don't swallow it. Did you swallow it? Did you spit it out? You can drink it. I can't do that. It'd be pretty strong. Oh, for teething children? Is that bad? Just swab it on a little bit, maybe? Yeah, is that bad? Woman, are you on? We're not giving medical advice, by the way. No, no. You're not licensed and trained in anything. If you want to sue someone, though, his name is. $300. That seems like a reasonable price for a root canal. $300?

Yeah. It cost me $600. I had to pay cash. Why? Yeah, daddy, oh, that's. I don't have insurance. $600 insurance. Are you serious? We don't insure you? I don't have dental insurance. That's expensive. Well, that's how you. I'm cheap. I guess so. I think our church. Is dental insurance, like when you're with a group, is it more the, is it like, because that's like the cheapest thing I get, really. Yeah, I don't pay. Besides vision. I don't pay next to anything for dental insurance. I get my money out of it. Is it like opposite or something? My insurance is pretty much crap. I mean, it's just like, if I get cancer, they'll get me at the last end. Don't you have some kind of preacher's insurance? It's faith in Jesus. We don't like to call it insurance.

You got cancer. Take me now. Fire insurance. What? Fire insurance. I'm going to do, I want to try this vanilla stuff. Of course. It's potent though, isn't it? Isn't it like straight vanilla? Yeah, it's the bee's knees. I'm telling you. By the way, you can get it cheaper at Sam's. You just said bee's knees. You can get a big honking bottle for a lot cheaper than you go to a grocery store. I indeed did. Because we only use the real stuff. We don't do imitation vanilla. You use straight up vanilla? Yeah. I use straight up something that most people buy as imitation. Saffron. Straight up saffron. No. With cream. Saffron is illegal. No, it isn't. It's expensive.

It's expensive. It sure as heck is. It's not illegal. No, it's not. It is illegal. You can buy it at Gateway Market. Maybe to the NASCAR fans of Bondurant, maybe you can't quite get it. You're not allowed to have saffron in the upper 48. What is it? I don't know. It's a spice. It's a yellow spice. Owls eat it. Didn't some drug-infused band talk about it? It's yellow. It's about saffron. She's just wild about me. They call it a mellow yellow. Yeah. Quite right. That song's a dirty. Is it? It's a dirty one. What do you mean? Mellow Yellow? Yeah. What's wrong with the dude named Mellow Yellow?

I can't say. Does he have joined us? No. No, it's Mellow Yellow is a thing for ladies. This is bad. Huh? All these songs. I know. We were talking about that last week, about how the songs you don't realize, all the songs that you enjoy are terrible. It's a den of filth. What about, it's my prerogative by Bobby Brown? Is that wrong? I do what I want to do. No, that's all right. Yeah. Yeah. Bobby Brown. Yeah. It's a little irresponsible, but he's a solid individual. So, woman, are you saying that vanilla is cool, though? Like, you can just rub straight up vanilla on yourself? What about the baby? That's about the baby. Can you give it to the baby? That's an expensive tan. Thank you, Cramer.

Well, I got my shoulder. Hey, man. I'm a vanilla tan. I tried to tan myself. I do better things. So, I was doing yard work this weekend, and I made the mistake of doing all the, like, a bunch of yard work on Saturday, and then I was going to do more on Sunday, and now I'd, like, I'd tan my arms funny, right? And my neck. So, I thought, I'm going to even this thing out. What do I care? So, I was going to take off my shirt, and I go outside shirtless, and all of a sudden it starts storming. And I'm outside shirtless, stubbornly, trying to move a bunch of big pile of sticks without a shirt on. Hey, dig on this, though. So, I took this. I had this giant pile of sticks in the backyard. I'd cut down some branches at the lady behind me. They were dead. I mean, they were dead, but she wanted to keep them, because she felt it gave privacy between our two houses, but they were dead sticks. They were ugly. So, I cut them down. Like, I cut these huge bushes down. You cut the sticks down. Yeah, I got it.

Yeah, no, I cut them down. Let's scoot it. So, I took a saw to them, cut them. What's the conflict? So, they were growing, and then they died. And then I cut them. Then you went ahead and cut them. I cut them. Okay. Anything else, Pace? So, they're no longer… Mike. Land the plane. Mike. I cut them. Anyway, so I took them, and I threw them over the… Bonner Inn has this free waste pickup day, right? Not with the appliances and chairs and crap, but like your yard brush. Oh, yeah. So, I'm going to get rid of this stuff, because this stuff's a real pain. It's free? It sounds like you're trying to sell Bonner Inn. Yeah, no, they'll pick it up for free. It's totally a marketing campaign. But it's in the pamphlet. Woman says no on the baby, by the way, for the vanilla. Probably not.

Yeah. Why? Can you double check? I don't like your half answer. Please verify what it's okay to give to kids. It's all natural. It's vanilla. Well, so is honey, but you can't give honey to kids either. Why not? Because you can't give them to under somebody that's under a year old. Why? Why? Oh, it's got alcohol in it. Oh, good point. No wonder I enjoyed it. Pants. You're going to have me a swig of vanilla. Would it be wrong to stand outside a bar and pass vanilla back and forth? What's in there? Hey, do you have a communion cup full of vanilla? What's your flask? You got any tones? I only got McCormick. That's all I can afford this week. McCormick's a chaser. I understand honey's really good for your allergies, but go ahead. It wasn't a good story.

We cut it down. We cut stuff down. Yeah, yeah. Local hunting, yeah. Are you? Wait. Is someone using it? Can someone on the chat just go try it out? Vanilla? There's like three people in the chat going to the dentist within the next week. Can someone go give it a shot and report back to me? I'm telling you, use it. That's a Mike Foose guarantee. It's worth nothing. Except for bad, new, better teeth. I'm going to cut it. Anyway, so we cut these sticks down. So we cut them down. You're right. And so I had to get them. I fenced myself in, though, in my backyard. I can't get these giant brush sticks out of there. They won't fit the right way coming out of the fence. So I decided I'm going to throw them over the fence into the front yard and then take that pile and then drag it, right? So it took me, I don't know, two hours to get this main pile over the initial fence. And I thought, well…

How long it takes you to tell the story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to cut it. So did you cut those down? I cut them down. I cut them down. Botulin. Anyway. Must have been quite a job. She's asleep. Somebody do it. Anyway. So anyway, this is not an interesting story. I tied them up and I drug them around with the car. That's what I did. I decided I wasn't going to have to manually haul these sticks around. So I got two ratchet tie-downs. One, I ratcheted this big… I mean, this was a huge… I bet it was five foot tall, five foot wide, this pile of sticks. I tried to ratchet them. Then I tied them to the mower. And I thought, I'm going to drag it with the riding mower. It totally failed. It didn't work. So then the woman says, why don't you use the car? And I say, I love it.

So I hooked them up to the hitch on the woman's car. And I drug them 25 feet from the side of my fence, next to my garage, all the way over to the front of the house. And I had to drive in the yard and do it a scurvy so that I could plot them right next to the edge of the curb. Do you have any ditch in your backyard then, too? No, it was actually pretty clean. The whole operation was pretty clean. I was pretty happy with it. But they didn't come up picking the sticks today. I had a whole fag of sticks out there. They didn't come pick them up. You can say that. See? There's no other instance in which you could use that correctly. I never knew that was a measurement. Two points. It is. Is that the… That's what… Yeah. Yeah. Thank you kindly. That's the only reason I want to tell this story. Only people that like to use the word frequently know its alternate definition so they can use it in everyday conversation. I've learned something new.

It's the same. The two popular words that you want to sneak in a conversation where you think people will stop you from having been crude is the word faggot when you're talking about sticks and the word masticate. That is the sixth grade word to share with everybody, which means to chew. Thank you. Now to the news desk. Mike. Today in New Hampshire, a man cut down his sticks. Drug it with his car. And then he received a pamphlet and said, attention NASCAR fans of Bondurant. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Do you frequently drag your sticks with your own vehicle? Then we have a town for you. Couldn't you have just burned them right where they were? Are you doing it? Are you doing it, Olsen? Are you trying this out or aren't you? Do you put it on your teeth? No. Is he doing a Google on those two words you used? Take a swig of it and swish it around like Scope. Yeah. Swish it. It'll do its job. Just a swig. You don't have to go crazy with it.

Olsen, could you confirm whether you're doing it or not so I don't watch the chat with such eager eyes? Is this the famed Olsen from the Des Moines Register? Was he in the Des Moines Register? Someone told me he was in the Des Moines Register. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't see it. Yeah, I couldn't burn the state. You're not allowed to open burn in Bonnerant. Plus, it's right next to a power box. I'm pretty sure someone would have called the law. Plus, it really infiltrates your motor home. You totally had me sold on moving Bonnerant until you said that. I can't burn there. Forget about it. Here's the difference between you and I. You get next to it. You've got a neighbor you don't like. You're stuck. I pull up. I don't like the guy next to me. I hit you up. I head out. You some diggity. We're moving on down the road. No one tells the floofs what to do. What do you mean?

Who said who swore? Who used a foul language? It wasn't me. Please report. Who's claiming foul language? I'm the storyteller. Did I say what? Did I use a foul language? I don't recall. I did drive the van here. But I didn't swear at anybody on the way. You got warmed up on the way up. Rick and Rick and Frick and. Is that starting? Rick and Frick and Frick and Frick and Frick and Frick and. Sly gosh darn owl. He's on my windshield. It's the van. It's the van. Watch out for the van. The owl is a sign about the van. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't burn him. I couldn't burn him.

Who's claiming foul language? I don't know. Can you write foul language on the chat? Does it edit it out? I have no idea. Please. No one swear on the chat. Oh. Oh. Olsen was the downtown broker of the year. That's right. There you go. Well congratulations Olsen. We have autographs. We need to have him. Do you have Skype? Yeah. Olsen do you have the Skype? We need an interview. We'll call you directly. We're all like uh. I don't have any Skype on me. Tuesday of last week. Can't his number? That's when it was in the paper. I looked it up online. But wait.

I'm not on. Oh wait. Hey. Hey somebody. Somebody make with time. While I'm digging around for stuff. I tell you what. I tell you what I got to talk about here. It turns out that the Iowa Christian Academy is presenting a play. A musical. Anybody know anything about this? Iowa Christian Academy. No. Yeah. It's called You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown. And it stars an up and coming Nathaniel Carson from what I understand. Yeah. He's supposed to be. I mean wow. Wow. Is what I've heard. I've heard that about Nathaniel Carson. He made an amazing Friar Tuck. He played Friar Tuck too? I think so. The man's unstoppable. There's no Friar Tuck on Charlie Brown?

No. I tell you if you happen to go to this play and meet this young man, you need to ask him to do his rendition of the Staples, that's a low price guy. I mean it is dead on like you've never seen. Huh. If you're interested at all in seeing the play, You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, which I've not seen personally, but they've invited me to have up front tickets, seats, because of my celebrity. They did not invite me to anything. Yeah. They don't even really like me. I can tell. No, they said that specifically. They said you can have these seats as long as… Don't tell Dan. D-A-N Hudson doesn't make it. I'm hurt. The play would be, Daniel, if you want to stand outside of a window, outside the theater and make your presence known, the shows are Thursday, May 13th, and then Saturday and Sunday, the 15th, 16th of May. It's five bones for a dude, which is dirt cheap for the high quality show. You're going to see $3 for the kids, unless you can fit them underneath your shirt. And for more information, you can call the Iowa Christian Academy at 221-3999. That's 221-3999. This message is brought to you by the Iowa Christian Academy, which has no free wares to give us. Oh, man. Apart from good entertainment at a slight price.

When is that? May 19th? Yeah, it'll be 13th, 15th, and 16th. That was pretty close. Yeah. Hey, it does get starred. What does? Oh, look at that. I got something going on. You can't type in foul language into the chat. Really? Yeah. Did you just try it? No. Does it replace it with a euphemism? No, it just stars it out. It doesn't even use the right number of… Yeah, it figures out what you said and comes up with something better. You mean hooty. I know what you meant to say, but… No, it just… It doesn't even do the right number of stars. So you can't get… Yeah, you can't even take a shot at it. I mean, never, you know… That's very intuitive. Did you find the article?

Or did you want to look at… No, I tried to find a picture of Keith so we could put him on, but he's got these really tiny ones. He looks slick, though. He's got a suit on in the picture. What movie star does he look like? Hold on. Let me go back to him. So he's got a little Brad Pitt going? I'm sure Jared doesn't like him either. I don't care. You don't care about him either way, but you demonize Matt Damon? I'm not going to put myself out there anymore. I don't know. I don't know who he looks. Jimmy Walker. This is such a tiny picture. It's ridiculously small. I mean, you couldn't find a smaller picture anymore. No, that's true. It's about the size of a thumbprint. Look at the one on… Do you have internet? Did you go to demoineregister.com? No. Go to demoineregister.com. Or just Google that.

Google his name in Des Moines Register. He's famous. I pulled it up just by his name in Des Moines Register. Dan, I would like you to write a five-second song about Keith Olsen. Go. A five-minute song? Five seconds. Well, five seconds. And you can't use the words Keith or Olsen? It has to be a song. I have to sing it? It's got to have a melody, too. It's going to be a rap song. I'm a pretty good rapper. If that's what you want to go with. I got rap written all over me. I can't use the word Keith or Olsen? I got nothing. Mike, go ahead. Real estate. Buy a guy I know. That's five seconds. There was a man who owned downtown. He's the best ever. All around. And his teeth hurt. Oh, here we go.

Until it got vanilla. I hope all gets better. Olsen, this is a good picture of you. Okay, here we go. This is Olsen right here. What do you think? Anybody on the chat? What celebrity does Keith Olsen look like? Has anybody got anything? Huh. Philip Seymour Hoffman. No, he doesn't look like Philip Seymour Hoffman. Jared? Man of many faces. I'm trying to think. Who's the guy that was in the newest Terminator movie? I know. I'm a nerd that I watched the last Terminator movie. Oh, like the… The robot guy. He was like this. Yeah, he was also on X-Files. He was one of the… He was… Oh, yeah. The guy that replaced Mulder. He was hated.

Are we thinking the same guy, Jared? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I… Patrick something. Yeah. He was like the guy who we thought was human the whole time. Right? I've not really seen the movie. I just remember him being… Yeah. Yeah. When did you say your meetings were? Thursdays at six? Stuff coming out of his nose. Hold on a minute. What? He in the picture? No, I don't know about that. He doesn't look like he's… No, he does look like he's freshly shaven. I'd do that if I was getting a picture taken for the paper. I probably would. Would you? Yeah. I think so. I wouldn't shave. I might shave twice.

What is the difference? What do you mean? What's the difference? I don't shave at all. He sells real estate to people for money. He's not… Why do people trust… Okay, why would you trust a guy more who doesn't have facial hair? Because he's made some effort on his appearance? Maybe you figure he puts more effort into everything. People don't trust bearded homeless people. I'm not homeless. I was like, the only person in the room with any kind of facial hair… I'm just saying. I don't know. In fact, I trust the guy that wears a beard because he's confident in himself. To duh. That's what you… He's probably lazy. You could say the same thing about a naked man. Huh? Yeah, that's true. One of a dude's jay-birded down the street. You love him? I don't know why. I hope that guy runs a business because I want to give him money. I'm just saying.

He's got some… I mean, he doesn't have to put on airs for people. Oh, look at me. I knew I was meeting you today, so I decided to shave my face. Yeah, but if you're dealing with the big bucks, they want you to put a show on them for you. Don't be offended, Keith. Why? Why? Makes them feel good. Why? You're a… Keith Olsen, you're a fraud. You're a filthy brigand that drugs people for cheap space downtown. That's how I feel. Now, go to facial hair. Let's get a beard on. And a thick scraggly one, too. Yeah. Down to your chest. Muldoon. That was the guy. Patrick Muldoon? Yeah, Patrick Muldoon. Yes. That's who I said. Your wife knew that.

I said Patrick Muldoon. You said Patrick somebody. I said Muldoon. He didn't have any facial hair. He's a dirty crook, too. I didn't mean what I said, Olsen. I take it back. If you would grow a little… See, people with beards can't be trusted. We're in right now. Rented from him? Leased from him? Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I think so. I think so. I think I hear someone knocking on the door. He's going to throw us out? You know why? Because he's a dirty crook. You're out of here, you bearded man. Take your filthy computer. Trust a clean shaver. Grab him by his chin toupee and get him out. You know, seriously, Olsen, come back. I didn't mean what I said. Did somebody do the vanilla?

Yeah. I don't know. Did somebody do it? I don't even care if you're hurting. Is it just for your mouth? Can you, like, rub it on a cold sore? I'm not bee sting. Yeah. Something? Would that be a bad idea if you're an alcoholic? Olsen, did you do it or not? You probably made him drink the whole bottle now. You probably spilled some on his beard. The NyQuil, the vanilla. I mean, there is alcohol in it, Olsen, so don't overdo it on the pain medication. I'm still trying it. His chat's kind of slurring. I mean, I don't want to hold up the whole show waiting for someone to agree to it, but I'm really interested. I want someone to give it a shot. I told you it worked. Why am I not enough? Because you don't have any facial hair. Sometimes I do. Why would you, when did you say recently, for your gig at the amusement park? No, I shaved for, what did I shave for? No, it was getting out of hand, and I thought I was misrepresenting the wife.

I don't want people to think she has poor taste and is very, some kind of… Because the assumption is a guy with a beard is of ill repute? Yeah. Why? Because you're of ill repute. Why? What have I done to… What do you mean? I'd say your backwards Gen X hat and your filthy beard. This is a sportsman's warehouse hat. And your half Henley from the Target. I don't even wear… I don't wear a Henley. This is from the Walmart. And your anxious socks. That's not Stephen Barry. I took these shorts from… I bought them at Stephen Barry's before it went out of business. The signs of a rich man who is well-defined in culture. I'm a discerning shopper. Who doesn't place so much of the value of my character on my facial hair that I have to go around preening myself for the people that I run into? Based on the two wash loads that your Stephen Barry's are going to make it before they fall apart. This has gone through four wash loads. Oh, this fuel on top of my mustache. Those Stephen Barry's went out of business two years ago in this town.

I know. I like to baby my business. You still claim not to be a filthy brigand. Your clothes barely hit the washer. Oh, my beard, my beard. I do my job. I do my job. Coming from the same guy who bundled the sticks together and took his trailblazer across his yard. Oh, yeah. You're high society. Hey. Okay. All right. So you tell… What are you going to do? You going to take them over stick by stick? I'll have my butler. I'll have to do it. Hey. Maybe someone says, here's a real easy way to do this. You could just hook it up to the back of your car and drag it over. Oh, no. No. I'm going to do stick by stick because I just shaved and I'm a member of the high society. Feel my cheek. I'm going to do hours of long labor because I'm a doofus.

I would hire people like you to do it for me. I hired the bearded man down the street. The naked bearded man. He would do sticks because he earns an honest living. He does a day's wage. You got any sticks for me to move? Hold on. Vanilla. Heck, forget it. I'll just burn them where they sit. You mind if I burn them where they sit? Not going to rant. My pants are wet. I bet I can whittle a whistle out of it. Hold on. I do look good tonight. That's correct. That is correct. Coming from chat. Who specifically? Someone I am not related to directly. You know what I don't see on this chat? I don't see Mike looks all right. I don't ever look all right. I don't see any, hey, look at Keith Olsen. He's looking slick. He's a shyster.

No one else needs that type of self-esteem boost. He caters to the underbelly of society. He caters to you. Dan looks good. Zach, that better not be you. I hope that's your wife. I'm feeling a little awkward. I mean, actually, there have been a number of comments on Dan's appearance. Hold on, Dan. It's always been good, though. What do you think's done it? Dan, would you say you find yourself attractive? I'm quite attracted to myself. Like, do you linger too long at the mirror? Sometimes I walk by the mirror and I'm like, who are you? Help me, a handsome man's broken in my house. He's caught in my mirror and I try to grab him and he grabs back. There's one clean-shaven guy. It's a sign of success. Do a little yard work, lift up the rock, there's Ben. I'll get my bearded butler to go move my stuff. Come on, man. Come on over here. Hold on, I'm almost done with your whistle. I said, you don't have any reason not to trust a guy with facial hair. It only plays Jim Dandy to the rescue. Ed Snuffin, years ago, big in sales, had personal sat-down lunch with Zig Ziglar.

Okay. Okay. Ed had a beard and Ed, Zig doesn't know him from, you know, anybody. Ed's having lunch with him and he asked Zig Ziglar, give me one thing I need to sell more. Didn't even blink his eye. Shave your beard. So he shaved his beard that day. How did he set up the meeting with Zig Ziglar? I have no idea. You'll have to ask. You'll have to ask, Ed. True story. That's all he tells me. So what are the sales tips for guys who don't have beards? I don't trust a guy named Zig. Yeah. See? See what kind of advice he's giving out? Purter yourself up like Keith Olsen. You sell a building or two, get your face in the paper, and then what? For $29.95, I'll tell you the rest of the story. I'm really sorry, Olsen. I don't really mean to rest here. Seven more tips. So who do you trust? Beard and mustache?

You know, my conversations with Zig. Who do I trust with a beard? Hold on a minute. Let me take a look here. Rupert, off of a survivor? George Washington, I didn't have a beard. You're picking, Ulysses S. Grant had a beard. He's trustworthy. No, he isn't. He was a ship jumper. No, he wasn't. You're thinking of Robert E. Lee. No. Wasn't George Washington shaven? Jesus. Clean. No, no. He was, no. Now listen here. George Washington was clean shaven in the painting. He grew out a beard during the battles. So only during the battles he was respectable, but every other time he was a weasel? Yeah. He was a weasel farmer. Because some sort of flighty artist came up and said, you know, Georgie, you know what you could do? You should put on that blue coat, the white wig, and you should shave your beard for posterity.

Okay. So when he turned down the monarchy of the United States, he was bearded? Yeah. He had a beard. Okay. He cut down the cherry tree with his whiskers. There's a nice beard. We'd like to have him be king. Yeah. Lincoln had a beard. Walt Whitman had a beard. Van Buren had a beard. Moses. Yeah, Van Buren had a beard. Moses was bearded. Do you know who didn't wear a beard? Nathan. Nathan. Nathan. Nathan. Who? He was in the Ten Commandments movies. I don't do the biblical representation. The television portrayal of Nathan was not bearded. He didn't have a beard. You know who else didn't have a beard? Pharaoh.

Pharaoh Dan. You model your look after Pharaoh. Larry the Cucumber doesn't have a beard. Yeah. I trust him. That's because cucumbers can't grow beards. It's impossible. Yeah. In fact, he had one when he was part of the Pirates that don't do anything. He did have a beard. He was trying to make Ben happy. What do you say to that? Are you friends with this cucumber beard? Yeah. We see eye to eye on everything. Come join me in my rock home. Yeah, but what if you're like me and if you grow something on your face, you just look like you've got armpit hair all over your face. I mean, there's nothing respectable about that. You could style it. But no. You could twist it into little dreadlocks or what? You could grow in portions. Like a little down this way or like a little up in the patches? Nope. No, no patches. Just do a few spots.

Try it. Nope. Generically. Just looks like I had something implanted from my pets. I agree. It's not the way to go. Yeah. I can't grow a full beard either. Yeah. And this is like three weeks growth right here. That's true. So you should take a swig of vanilla every morning. It'll make you a man. National. You need to hang with the owls. Put some hair on your face. Didn't I say earlier that owls can't be trusted? Yeah. Is someone claiming to trust owls? No. I was just thinking that owls don't wear beards. So that would seem to prove to me that people without beards can't be trusted because owls don't wear beards. Owls eat little kittens. That backs his point up that owls can't be trusted. I don't think Keith Olsen's ever eaten a kitten. Okay.

All right. All right. See, now, Olsen, I take back everything I said about you. Olsen says, The way you gain people's trust is to earn it over time by repeatedly proving that you deserve it. That or grow a beard. That's correct. That is correct, Olsen. You save a lot of time then. I'm afraid of Olsen now because he seems to be a bit of a two-face. He gives out solid advice, which is good for everybody, and then panders to homeless people. And I don't understand. I understand who you trust now. Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken. Chicken, chicken. You guys remember that? What? What? What did you say? Hold on a second. Yeah, Pants cannot… Nah. Pants' beard didn't get long enough to dreadlock it. People style beards, don't they? Like creepy people. Yeah, creepy people.

I've seen Dave Crowder. He's got a big, long thing. He's kind of creepy looking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not in love with Olsen. I can listen to his music. Then I go, oh yeah, you look creepy. He's very friendly. I like Olsen. He's deep, though. Yeah, but… Who's too deep? I've seen Dave Crowder. He's deep. He's the guy that wrote that all you can say that you just said. Didn't he? That's a solid dude. I really do like that dude. Kind of creepy, though. Why? Why? He's not an Old Testament rocker, but… He's got a creepy beard. Dude, Google David Crowder. Yeah, he's got big, huge hair.

I mean, like, you know, big… I mean, his… He's really kind of cool, but I mean, I just, you know… I'm sure he freaks people out. Yeah. You know the cool story about them, though? They came to Ozark, where I went to school, and they were playing for some youth rally. No, it was a youth leaders convention. And it was before they got big. And they played, did the worship for the entire thing. And they got to the end of, like, three of the sessions, and finally one of the professors from the school came up there and on stage and was like, you know what? They're not going to tell you, because they just won't, because we've asked them to, like, talk about it, but they just won't. They've got CDs out there, and I mean, they've got all this stuff out there. Go buy their CDs, because they're, you know, they're great guys, they're amazing people, and they've got great music. But they wouldn't, you know, present themselves. Self-promoters. Yeah, you know? That's cool. So, I mean, it's just… I really like their music. Yeah, I mean, for real. I mean, it seems like they're real, as much as you can say about somebody you've heard their music of. Yeah, that's true.

Okay, here's a picture of David Crowder. Yeah, he looks pretty cool. Hey, he's got a nice beard on him, I'll tell you that. What do you think? He looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman. Not everybody looks like Philip Seymour Hoffman. Philip Seymour Hoffman looks like everybody. Who's Philip Seymour Hoffman? What do you mean? You serious? I didn't know who you're talking about. Dan? Dan, do you know who Philip Seymour is? I have no idea. I just smile and nod. I was going to do my owl sound, but I didn't think that would be appropriate. Finally, a good decision from the Daniel camp. I'm learning all that. I'm growing. He was in the third Mission Impossible. He was the villain. I haven't seen the first one. He was in that… Tom Cruise, I don't like him either. Yeah, me neither. He's a freak. Him, John Travolta, freaks.

Freak. Why do you say that? They're scientists. Scientology. Yeah, that's even weirder. That's different than scientists. You should be praying for that man. Well, it should be. You don't. I was going to say, I don't. You don't. That'd be bad. I better see him on the prayer wall in the next prayer room, Dan. Otherwise, I will know that you're not praying for him. Somebody I have been praying for? Eminem. How's that going? I love Eminems. He's just like… He's got them… I mean, he's just like amazing when it comes to… I mean, if it wasn't for stuff being so foul, he is really brilliant. Maybe we should let him sing his tunes in our van. Everything would be on the up and up. Ooh, that kind of goes to the filter that way. Cut air. Jared, was that you?

Did you make some kind of… I was trying to nail that sound, but it didn't work. Was that the screech noise? It's better than… Jared's cat, but that's not like it. Did you do one? Did you do an owl? No, he didn't. Hold on, hold on. There's a cat. Do an owl directly for everybody. The puff up. The whole… Yeah, do it. That's more of a monkey, isn't it? This is way closer to mine than yours. That's a monkey with a rabies? Yeah, his looks just like mine, except for I go… Creepy. Yeah. Is that the rustling of the feathers that makes that noise? Or is that like… Yeah, yeah, no, that's him. That's him, like… You can… Because it's different if someone says, Hey, I'm coming to get you, right?

But, like, if you hear the footsteps down the hall, he didn't have to say he's coming to get you. You know it. So, like, the owl doesn't say, you know, screech or whatever. He's just like… You can hear him prepare. Chickens ruffle their feathers. Owls just kind of glide in and… Yeah. How much real world experience would you say you have observing owls, Dan? I've seen the animal planet. I was face to face with the beast today. I think Mike's about to… I know everything there's to know about owls. I know a little kitten of a snag. He didn't go… Did he, like, jump towards… Was he, like, on the ground? He was, like, jumping towards… He was on a windowsill. He was on a windowsill. And the sky darkened. And he goes, silence. It's because you were on the other side of the glass. It was going… He didn't do that. He didn't do that.

And he stroked his beard a bit. And he pounded on the glass. Hey, let's give me a damn. Let's give me a damn. Give me an owl. Seriously, let me in, though. I'll be your friend. Me and my owl buddies are hungry. Do owls travel in packs? No. I think they're singular. It's pretty territorial, aren't they? I had one swooped down, like, right in front of my windshield once. Did he look at you when he swooped by? It was so fast, it was, like, dark. Are you sure it was an owl? It was. It was dark. It could have been a bluebird or something. No, it was large. It had definitely the fat, flat-faced owl thing going. And it went… Isn't there a new kids movie about owls coming out? Like, some 3-D movie where the owls are, like, the heroes. It's, like, this whole owl society. I don't know. Have you seen that ad for a 3-D television?

Yeah. Are you seriously excited about this? No. I think it sounds terrible. You have to wear glasses in your own house to watch a 3-D movie off your TV. How else are you going to do it? That's what I'm saying. Why? Why pay 18 bucks to go to watch one at a theater? Why not? Why don't you step on break of the glasses? You've got to keep buying glasses every week. Who wants to look like a dweebus in their own house? Oh. I said who? I said wants. I didn't say does. You keep that… And you're still voting for it? Facial stylings up, fellas. You're there. I'm the only guy that sits in my house on a throne. I think you play Wii. On my bearded throne. I think you play Wii. You got no room to talk. I play that Wii.

See? You got no room to talk. But I don't wear, like… You're a dweebus. I don't wear a Wii jacket. Yeah, but you both. Just like the rest of us. I do both. See? You're a dweebus. Just like the rest of us. But I don't put on a bowling jacket. Like, I don't oversell it. You don't? Sometimes I sit down and bowl. Okay, let me ask you this. When you do the baseball, do you do the baseball stance? Yeah. Okay, then. Everybody does the baseball stance when you're doing the baseball on the Wii. You can't sit there and go… Yeah, that's just… That's no fun. How about Mario… Oh, Mario Kart. Joe Conn does the Mario Kart. Or Cat Chaser Not Hater does the Mario Kart.

He's using a clever handle. Cat Chaser Not Hater. I'd like to see him on the dragon. I should tell you the story on how that came about, but… I'm going to do my Mario Kart. Are you the kind of person that turns your whole body, though? No, no, no. I just do the hands. I don't overdo it. Now, this might tie right in with you. Who do you usually pick for Mario Kart? I do the Wario. Do you know why? Because Wario's a bearded, weird-looking… And every time he picks Wario, he goes… Yeah, that's what he does. It's because when you pick Wario, or when he goes around the corner, he goes… Yeah. Yeah. Just like that. Just like an old gangster. When an old gangster does that. What else is that from? Yeah. It's from, like, some space ghost thing, too, isn't it? No, it's from… Space ghost.

One for you, one, two for me. Yeah, boss. Yeah. One, two for me. Yeah. Yeah. Cut down the sticks. Cut them down. Put them where they lay. Throw them… Get the car. Yeah. Sleeping with the owls. Talons up. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. From Bugs Bunny. Yeah, yeah. One for you, one, two for me. Two for you, one, two for me. Yeah. Yeah, see? I'm gonna… Wait, wait. I'm gonna smoke you out, see? I said rub you out. I'm gonna rub you out.

Have you noticed how much, if you look back at the old cartoons… I was thinking about this with Pinocchio. How much you look back at those old cartoons, and it's like, that's so not appropriate for my kids anyway. That ain't no kidding. You seen the one where they call each other mammy? That is pretty bad. That is pretty bad. Well, like Pinocchio, they use the other word for donkey. It's like, it comes out, and we're like, listening to it in the car, and it's like, you know… Mule? I don't know if… Should I say it? I said it last week. Not until you get in the van. You know, it's like, you say, your kids start saying jackbutt, and it's like, you know, hey, holy cow. I would yell at my kids for not saying it right. See, I can't go to the movie theater and see, what's the one right now that has donkey in it? Oh, Shrek? No. Isn't the name of the title? Oh, kick. Kick. Kick. Yeah.

Kick donkey. Oh, yeah. Because Cheryl and I were like, we want to go see the movie, but we can't really go up there and say that. We want to go… You could walk up and just giggle. Oh, we want to see… You know the one with the words in it. I like the thought, Dan, that you like to see it, but you don't want to say the movie to buy the ticket. You're an odd bird. I'm a hypocrite. You buy the tickets online. Am I a hypocrite? Is that hypocritical? Yes. I think it's… It's just a title. It's just a weird… Well, I think the movie's about Jesus. It's a rated R movie. Is it really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. On the Focus on the Family side, they say, if we can't even say the name of the title of this movie, then you can only imagine what's in it kind of thing. Okay.

Well, we haven't gotten to see it. I like that you're filthrous to the extent that there can be profanity in the title of the movie, and you're like, well, maybe if we get past that, things will be all right. In the world, not of it. I'm sure they've got a lot of their system now. They've wasted it all on the title. We'll take two for Dave Marsden is a son of a gun. It's bound to be a good one. Can I have two tickets for nudity, violence, and inappropriate humor? Have you seen Princess Bride yet? Oh, I love Princess Bride. It has none of that. I want one. Does it have a swear word? One. Maybe it's the one I said earlier that I don't remember. No. Does Andre the Giant say it? No. What's happening at the time? It's the last sword fight. When he's going after the six-finger man, and he calls him an SOB. That's right. Remember? I can never see that movie again. Is that bad?

Is that okay? When you say everybody's invited, do you mean everybody that's here in the studio, or everybody that's on the chat? Where are we going? We're going over to Khan's house on Wednesday to watch Princess Bride. That's our normal small group night. We're going to bring it on. Khan doesn't care. You guys probably need a follow-up to 201 class. Absolutely. When's that coming? Yes, bring some cake. Yes. Who else is bringing stuff? Bring cake. Yeah. You got a popcorn in a movie. Okay. Well, yeah. We'll do. Don't tell it. Joe Khan does not want his wife to do it. He invited everybody. So do not broadcast it over the radio. Okay. Or say it on an open chat. And for heaven's sakes, don't tell Keith Olsen.

The whole city of Des Moines will know. He is a gossip. He'll tell the bearded man. Have you guys seen those DVD players that will filter stuff out? Yeah. Somebody, I think the girl that watches our kids has that at her house. What do you think about that? Well, I mean, I think it's nice. But, I mean, the question would be, like, how much do you need to see it? Like, I think it's similar to how much do I need to be able to swear in a van, right? Like, even if I can find out that there's no harm to it at all, that I think the cursing they talk about in the Bible is, like, literally cursing people. And the things that are coming out of my mouth are not outpours from an evil heart. They're just words that I use, right? If I can, let's say, I think all that's true, how much do I need to do it that I have to spend that much time thinking, okay, I think this is going to be okay? And those movies, I think, are the same thing, right? How much do I have to see that movie to the extent that I have to get a filtered version of it just so I can see it? Like, what is grabbing my attention? And so, it's certainly not wrong, obviously. Do you think it's more for the adults than it is for the kids? It's got to be more for the kids, right? Yeah, I think it's more for the kids. But, I mean, does that put the adult in the same position? If the movie is to the extent that I've got to filter stuff out, maybe my kid shouldn't be watching it? I mean, I'm no hypocrite here. I think my kids watch, I think Emma watches 24. I'll let her sit there and watch it. And she'll be like, why is that guy shooting that guy?

And I have to explain it. But, I mean. Yeah. I don't know. Well, I think about, like, have you ever seen the movie Rent? It's like one of those movies where it's like, you know. You couldn't watch it. Really? Here's the thing, is that, you know, it's one of those things that, like, it's, I don't know, maybe it's just justification. But it's like one of those things where it's like, I never realized that this is how, you know, people that, you know, had HIV or people that, you know, were living in a homosexual lifestyle were like. I was like, I always just assumed that they were, you know. But you can trust everything you see in the theater. I know. But it's, you know, it was just, it's. La vie bohème. You just ignore it. You just ignore it, you know. Isn't that on there? Yeah. I thought it was Bobby Bohem for the longest time. That was a song about a dude. So Mike has seen it. Bobby Bohem. No? I've seen it. Yeah. Yeah.

Fascinating. You know what I saw? I saw a, I don't know how you guys feel about Jesus Christ Superstar, but I've seen it. And I really enjoy the musical part of it. Really do. The story's a bit off on some occasions. Actually, you know, I, no, actually, I would say that there's some things that they get right in that movie that I don't think you would expect to see gotten correctly in a movie like that. I agree. I'll tell you what it is. Actually, I think my wife learned a lot about Jesus from listening to it. And listening to it's not so bad because you don't catch some of the, the visual stuff is what I think tends to get a little more offensive. But right when Jesus gets in front of Pilate and they put that crown of thorns on him, immediately it cuts to a scene where he's dressed in all white. And they got him, you know, and they got the lights on him and stuff. And, and like, it, it's that scene, like the understanding that that crown of thorns was, was, was actually Jesus' coronation. You know, you know, that, that was his kingdom right there as opposed to, you know, what, what, what a lot of the, you know, the, the Jewish followers in the time thought, you know, he was going to be a physical king. Even the, the, the disciples had that same issue, you know, can we sit on your right and left, like that type of stuff. Like it was obviously a very misunderstood. They didn't get it even though there were plenty of things in the Old Testament that would point to you that he was a humble servant, right? But, but, but if you watch, if you watch the way that they have it set up in Jesus Christ Superstar, I mean, they get that right. You don't see a lot of movies get that correctly where, you know, it shows that as his coronation. And then when they put him on the cross, it's the same thing. When he's up there, it cuts to another thing of him, you know, in flowing white robes and stuff. And they get that part right. And that was something that I think can be, you know, I'm not looking for virtue in the movie, but we watched, I took a Jesus course at Simpson. They offered it and I thought, well, okay, I'll, I'll try that out. And that's one of the things they did is when they showed that movie, it was the things that I took when I was watching. I thought that's something that I think, I think a lot of people miss as a whole.

And it was an interesting thing for those, that particular set of filmmakers to get for some of the things that they got wrong. So, I mean, I don't know. I found some, there was some, there's some interesting things about that. I think they get correct about the disciples, especially in that movie and about Jesus as a whole. I think they get correct. There's obviously some factual inaccuracies about it, but as a whole, I don't know. There were some things about it that I actually was surprised that they got accurately. Yeah, I agree. I think they, they did that, even that whole song about the disciples, you know, about them getting it, but not quite getting it, you know, kind of more interested in their own notoriety, you know, slightly into, instead of, you know, in the beginning, kind of, instead of their follow. But they, what I was going to say is, I actually went and saw it as a traveling show, and I was way geeked up about it, because I really dug on the soundtrack mostly. And we went and saw it at the Civic Center, and man, I almost had to leave, because they didn't bring an orchestra like I was looking forward to. And Jesus was wearing khakis and a white shirt. And I thought, well, that's, I can't. This is terrible. Like, I don't know, it totally put me off that they tried to do some kind of modern, hip, you know, Jesus Christ Superstar, and totally ruined the whole thing for me. Because I saw Sound of Music in almost the exact same venue. So Manpreze would have done it for you, though, right? Yeah. What'd they do for music? They had, like, a synthesizer. A synth guy. Yeah, it was junk. Really? It was really bad. Because that's the whole, that's the whole, the whole show, is the music of that. It's a kid's like a rock band, isn't it?

Yeah, the whole, yeah, I mean, the whole, I don't know if you listen to the soundtrack of this thing, but, like, the tunes are, they're just solid tunes. They're well-written tunes, you know? I mean, they're just good tunes. And that, I mean, again, without the visuals, they actually tell a pretty good, they tell a little, a pretty good story. I mean, it's factually accurate. I wouldn't have been able to tell you the name Caiaphas had I not been listening to Jesus Christ. Like, I could pick out the names of the people, you know, like, you know, things that stick out. And, you know, the two big things, it's a little bit too sympathetic to Judas, I think. And then Mary as a potential prostitute, obviously, is not based in biblical fact. But other than that, like, really, I think the story as a whole, they actually do a pretty good job of catching some of the angles. It goes beyond the Sunday school angles, right? Jesus died for your sins, that type of thing. Like, you know, one of the songs that the disciples are singing is like, you know, I hoped one day I would be an apostle, dream that I would make it if I tried. One day we'll sit down and we'll write the gospel and they'll all talk about us when we die, right? Like, it's a thing where it kind of gives you a sense of they're understanding their position here, but not really. Like, they're still thinking of it in the wrong way. And it's just a, I don't know, like, a lot of the stuff is actually way more well done than I think it gets credit for, obviously, pointing out some of the fallibilities. And my mom, actually, my grandpa is a Southern Baptist minister, and they protested the movie when it came out. Like, they had been one of the ones picketing it. And I think, actually, that's how my mom got turned on to it. And I think that's how Mike and I. But I think, I don't know if the woman's still listening, but I do think, actually, my wife got a lot out of it, understanding the story of Jesus just having to listen to the soundtrack. You know, and that's one of those things where, you know, we were talking about a couple weeks ago about, you know, people kind of impressing their, you know, what they classify as what you should be involved in.

We were talking about dancing, you know, schools that don't let you dance or whatever, you know, all that kind of jazz. Like, you know, trying to impress on what you believe the Lord is the statue for somebody else. You know, I'm going to say, man, like, I got a lot out of Jesus Christ Superstar. And there are some things that, you know, obviously, it's just not accurate. But, I mean, I don't know. I suppose God's there if you're looking for it, you know. I mean, I don't know. I didn't think it was that bad. Have you seen it? I've never seen it. Have you heard things about it, like it was no good? For the Christian community, it says that about every movie. So, I mean, to be honest, I don't, yeah. Okay. All right, well, I'll tell you what we're going to do. We're going to take, and I know we're getting towards the end of the show, we're going to take a quick break, get reset up, and we're going to do one more tune to take us out. Again, you are listening to Live from the Path on WorldwideAmplified.com. We are all from Pathway Church in Johnston. We meet Sundays at Wallace Elementary at 10 a.m. Obviously, if you're looking for a church family, we'd love to have you out. Even more importantly, if you're looking for a relationship with Jesus Christ, you can look for archived versions of our show on LiveFromThePath.org and the website for the church is, excuse me, ThePathOnline.org. We're going to take a quick break, and we will be right back with you. Thank you very much for listening. So, in order to work with the law, the contract law designers, I asked for a law, because I was busted, busted. Brother said, there ain't a thing I can do. My wife and my kids are all down with the flu, and I was just thinking about calling on you.

And I'm busted. I am no thief, but a man can go wrong when he's busted. The food that we can to last summer is gone, and I'm busted. The fields are all there, and the cotton won't grow. Me and my family got to pack up and go, but I'll make a living just where I don't know, because I'm busted. I'm broke. No bread. I mean like nothing. Forget it. And something about truth about trade and technology. There's a website that has a very interesting mission statement and locally grown food. That is a site that may be of interest to listeners and viewers today. Also, casino gambling update. Mitch is here. Will be able to help us with that. Helen's Pajama Party. We will take a look perhaps at some photos a little bit later, including a very cute photo of me and my grandbaby who are there. And for those of you unaware, Helen's Pajama Party raises money and collects a lot of pajamas for women who have had to go to shelters. Okay, everybody, thank you so much for hanging out with us. We are going to end this again. This is Jared Roy. He is the worship pastor from Pathway Church, and we're going to go ahead and close the show out with No Not One. No better word than from your lips. No quick life than what you live. No greater gift. No, not one.

No brightest star has ever shined. No better hope. Higher mind. One has ever known. The kind of love you've shown. There has never been a greater love than your son. No, not one will never be a… No, not one. With this life you have forgiven us. Hope has come. Hope has come. There will never be a greater love. No, not one has ever seen.