Live from the past. I keep wanting to sing along when it comes in. Van, do you know the words yet? Absolutely not. Okay. Let's go to know. So if we start a group that does an acapella version of this tune, you will not be playing along. Uh, I would, yeah, I would be the weak link, for sure. Hmm. Well, that's good to know. I'd like to know that. I'm used to being the weak link, though. That's usually my role. Do you know anybody that beat boxes? I don't know anybody. Didn't Vance do that? He did that. Hey, I'm going to tell you something I found out about old Vancey. What's that? So, you remember, we saw his live performance at the Spirit Midwest Music Festival. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, yeah. So he plays with acoustic guitar, and it's just him, you know, one-man band. And he starts doing some kind of… Exactly. …a beat for himself and records on his little thing. But what he doesn't tell you is that his little thing adds a bass drum in there. Oh, tricky. So what you thought was his amazingly bass drum-sounding voice is really a computer-generated. There was times I was wondering, how much of that is him, and how much… Yeah, I wonder.

I think it was 85% him. The only fraudulent part was the bass drum. That's a real professional, and you can't tell. Yeah, he pulled it off pretty suave. Yeah. He did a good job at church, too. Yes, he did. That was kind of cool to sneak him in. Yeah, he did a very good job. I did well. Yeah. I do all right. What's the deal? It's that fan. Yeah. Remember? Yeah, that's what the deal is. Oh, was that making noise? Yeah. Yeah, it was outrageous. Anyway, you're listening to Live from the Path on Des Moines Amplified.com. Thanks for being with us tonight. I really appreciate it. I am Ben Foost. I will be your host for this evening. Back in the studio with us this week is Dan Velvet Crush Hudson. News is Velvet Crush. Live. How was your time away, Dan?

It was outstanding. Colorado Springs, Colorado, Cheyenne something resort. I don't know. Cheyenne's in the name of it somewhere. Focus on the Family sponsored it. A hundred pastors and their spouses. And it was fun. It was really… I can't say fun. It was very relaxing. And informative? It wasn't really meant to be informative. It was like a bunch of people telling their stories. It was just meant to be encouraging and refreshing. And hey, wow, everybody works hard. I mean, it's one of those things, nobody knows really what you do but you. And you get a hundred pastors together and no one really can relate like they can to each other. Just like no matter what your job is. I can't relate to a mechanic because I'm like, oh yeah, but get a hundred mechanics together and they kind of get their thing. So it was kind of like that. And it was cool. Yeah, it was really fun. That sounds neat. Had some great observations though. What do you mean? Did you ever get a group of Christian people together and they're all from different faiths? And it's always about the same.

There's these people that kind of float to the top. About 80, 85% of the people are like normal, whatever normal is. They kind of follow the program, follow the plan. But there's always about 15% that just kind of stick out like, really? Really, you had to do that? I mean, you're really here. Who are you talking about? There's always like a super charismatic, I'm here to worship God and nobody else matters person. No one can pull this off like I can. Exactly. And to their defense, they've probably heard sermons the whole life that, you know, like the whole Daniel dancing, you know, like, don't be inhibited, you know, just worship, blah, blah, blah. But no one tells them don't be selfish. Right. You know, so we have two, my wife and I, Cheryl and I, we're sitting down. There's two seats to our left. There's me and then there's Cheryl and there's two empty seats. And this couple come in like in the middle of the thing. And I'm like, hey, come over, there's two empty seats. They're like, we have no clue who these people are. And like the second the song starts, whatever song it was, don't remember. It wasn't like, you know, the song kind of got, oh, wow, this is kind of cool. It's like the second the song starts, this gal shoves her hands in the air, which is cool, whatever. But, but she doesn't throw them in front of her. She throws them, kind of pushes Cheryl aside and throws it right in front of my face. So it's kind of like, you know, all of a sudden I can't see the screen, you know,

and I'm like, lady, what are you doing here? The worship begins to become inconvenient. At least use deodorant. So they go from zero to red line as soon as the tune even fires up. And it's like, if you know what you're going to do that, why would you go to the middle of the crowd? Why don't you go ahead and stay on the side? Because you know, okay, my right hand tends to extend in front of people, you know, but it's like, it's all about me. It's somewhere that you kind of miss in worship, aren't you? It's like, I don't know. I don't want to be critical, but at the same time, I seem so close. I was about, if she did it one more time, I was going to stick my hand up and just kind of gently put her arm down. Is that what you were going to do? It was directly in my face. You should have tickled her armpit. I probably could have, but that's creepy. Yeah, it's a little creepy. Have you ever played the oosk game? You're like, oosk. No. And you put their arm down. No. It's a real game. Explain. Well, if someone has, like, they're holding, like, they're stretching or something, they put their hands up, you go, oosk, and you get them. Get them.

That's all. You just surprise them. This is what you're paying for, Dan, at that Christian university, oosk. That's where I learned it, actually, so. They get hopped up on Kool-Aid in biblical verses, oosk, oosk others. Maybe that's where they learned it, because people were fake. Or maybe not fake, I don't know, but worshiping. Wait, let me ask you this. Do you think that the handsy worshiper is aware of, cognizant of their actions? Like, do you say are? Well, you see, that's the thing, is if they're not, then I'm cool with it. If they are, I'm not as cool. But if they're not, they should learn that they're not going to be, and they should go somewhere a little more private. Really? At least not directly sitting three inches. So you're saying, let the spirit of the Lord get you, but do it over there. Sure. I don't think that's unreasonable. He doesn't need to grab you near others. I mean, I think it's cool to be in an environment where people are lifting their hands, and they're worshipping, and they're really into it and everything. I mean, I personally don't do that, so maybe that's part of my issue, is I'm just from a background, it just doesn't work for me. But when someone, like, I don't care what it is, even if I'm a really off-key singer, if I know that, I won't sing very loud. Because I'm like, or else I'll go in my own shower and sing really loud. Or if, I don't know, if I have a really ugly shirt, I'd never wear it in public. Amazing.

When you get to that standard, let me know. You don't think if you put all them crazy worshippers in one area, at least the Ooskers will know where to go? See, and that's it. They're probably in a setting where the chairs are a little further apart, or they're maybe in pews. So what, they're like the new handicapped people? It's outrageous. They get special treatment now, I'm going to start worshipping like that. I mean, I don't know. I'm going to be in my own large area. I wouldn't want to do something that would inhibit someone else's worship. And maybe, maybe that's my immaturity. I understand that. It could be. But still, I'm not going to stuff my something in someone else's face and say, now, I'm worshipping God, you just sit down and shut up and live with it. That's true. You don't want to block the words, man. I know. I was like, that's kind of weird. How is that immature? I don't know. I kept thinking, be the bigger person. That's why I didn't. So many times, I was so close to reaching up and pulling my heart out. Now, if you'd have known about this Oosk business, would you consider doing something like that? If what?

If you knew about the Ooskin, would you consider it? I could have Oosked. Oosk? Oosk. I think he's got a K in it. Yep. Did you put a Southern accent on it in Kentucky? Oosk. Oosk. I don't know. What was that? I don't know what that was. I was like a Romanian. Oosk. Oosk. I can't do Southern better. Hey, Danielle, do you do any impressions? Do you do voices? No. I'm so bad at that. I don't know anybody that does good voices. I do. No, you don't. I've seen yours before. I'm a dead rigger. Did you do a Donald Duck? Sure. No, you don't. Who do you do a good voice of?

Who do I do a good voice of? Louis Armstrong. Okay, let's have him. I see trees of green. Red roses, too. I see them bloom from me to you. That's really not too bad. That's pretty solid, isn't it? You do Neil Diamond. Yeah. You don't do Neil Diamond. You certainly do not. You do Neil Diamond. I am I said to no one there. Little Ronald Reagan. Dan, do you do Neil Diamond? You do Neil Diamond. What do I do? Try it. What do I have to think about it? Hold on. I'd have to hear him a little bit. Oh, okay. Here it comes. I went home. Yeah, this is the one. Which one is this? Do you know this one? It's I am I said.

Some better man of being a man, and it became one. Do you have anything from Jazz Singer? What? This sounds like Kentucky Rain. No. I don't know this one. I don't know. I don't know songs. You know me. Some lady had her hand in front of my face. I couldn't see the words. I never got this word. Just song. Which one do you know? Palm trees grow and rents alone. But you know he's thinking about making my way back. Skip it. M. That's the best part. I don't know that part. Yeah, that was. You know I won a Neil Diamond look-alike contest? It was just me. I held it at my house. I didn't invite many people. Sideburns aren't working yet. I thought I am I said would be a great worship tune. Yeah. That would be good.

That's lordly. Yeah, I am I said. That'd be kind of deep. Then you'd have to like bow or something. Take your feet off. You'd have to edit some of the words out. There was another song. There was a Stevie Wonder song we were going to use for this. Of course me and Mike decided we were going to write a Christian musical. Never got around to it. I just called to say I love you. What was it? Oh, it was Always. Yeah. Until the world of moon and life becomes a day. It's a good tune. Dan, I'm clueless on everything. I'm worthless. I don't actually represent tunes when I re-sing them. So you can't guess what the song is, but we don't play it eventually. Oh, you changed the tune on that one. All right, Dan. So that was man one of your stereotypical Christians at this deal. Yeah. I mean, they're at everyone. I don't care if you go to a concert. If you go to any group worshiping event, there's always that person who thinks, you know. Yeah. Man, I just.

Really? I do wish I could do that. That makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. Like I feel like I'm going to get oozed. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why I don't. Like it's a very. Maybe that's the point. It's like, you know, I trust in the Lord so much that I'm willing to completely expose myself to attack. Maybe so. And admittedly, there are parts of me that want to do that. And so that's my weakness. Maybe my immaturity. This is okay. I won't. But if I did it, I wouldn't do it in such a way that it was like, oh, excuse me. You're in my way. I know you were here first. I think it'd probably be different if they had like a foam finger on it or something. Let me go ahead and push you aside and put my hand in your face. That said like God is number one. That would be outrageous. That would be being a fan, but you should not be a fan. Exactly. That's a nice shirt, by the way. Thank you. Did you get one for the whole family? As a matter of fact. Or did she?

Hold on. Wait. Hold on. Did you buy that shirt or did she buy that on her own? Danielle. Let's say there are four of those shirts in our home. That's what I thought. And we have pictures with all of us. Four not a fan shirts. Four loofahs. You're in business. Yes. You said your wife bought you a loofah? My wife bought me a loofah. But you haven't used it yet? Well, I didn't really know how. I'm like, what? It's kind of like sandpaper. And then they said, you're supposed to put soap on it. I don't have squirty soap. You tried it without soap? It's not a magic wand, Daniel. Do I look like a loofah? You've got to give it something to work with. I think it's supposed to have water, they said. I'm like, what? I washed my hands. I'm going to see Dan's dead fully clothed with a loofah going, I don't understand. I don't get this.

I don't really do anything. Get some dead skin cells off. You've seen those eggs where you take them to your feet and it's supposed to get rid of it? The petty eggs. Yes. It's supposed to get rid of skin or something? I don't even have seen that. I've heard of people who actually scraped their foot. They just kept going. Oh, they went too far. How do you know when to stop it? When you bleed? When the dry skin's gone. How do you know what dry skin looks like? It's flaky. Yeah. Is your foot smooth? When your foot is soft and smooth, you stop. I've never felt my feet. I mean, not recently. I don't rub my own feet. How often do you check your feet for dry skin? I haven't checked my feet for a while. Girls do sometimes. How often? Do I? Yeah. Yeah. I don't just check my feet.

I don't know. I go barefoot a lot, though, so I just chill and barefoot and I see, oh, I have dry skin on my feet. Ladies on the chat, how often do you check your feet for dry skin? I don't think it's like a, you don't do it like, oh, it's three o'clock, time to check my feet for dry skin. Oh, I haven't done it this week? Like, when do you, how would you know? Because it seems like the people with the pet egg just sold you a pet egg just so you would check your feet and realize that you needed to buy it. I'm going to come up with something that people don't know they need until they, you know, you tell them. Once a day you do it? Bean? Who does that? Once daily, she said. Checks their feet. That's outrageous. I'm like the guy who, like, every once in a while, Cheryl says, you need to cut your finger, your toenails. Yeah. I haven't really looked at them. Well, you know, I don't notice those until I get a fresh stripe of red on my calf after I've been sleeping. I've noticed that I've injured myself. You scratched me. I've injured myself. You foot knifed yourself in the back of the cage. And, of course, I instantly blame the other person.

Exactly. And she says, yeah, right. I say, whatever. I look at my feet every day. She goes, get those sabers cut down. They're outrageous. Do you own a pair of slippers? No. Daniel? I have a pair that my father-in-law gave me that he had for like 10 years, and now I've had them for like eight years. Do you use them? And every Christmas I tell my family, man, it'd be really cool to have new slippers. And no one ever gets the hint. So this is a more direct hint, if anyone who may be listening. Taking notes. Maybe that's why your foot stays so not dry. I think I would ruin it. Like, I can't, I don't know a point in time in my day where I would know that now is the time to switch to a slipper. What if there's a fire or something? You want to bust outside in your slippers? Well, I sleep in my skinnies. So, I mean, I don't think it's going to make the scene any worse. You've got to sleep fully clothed. As long as you have your slippers on, you're good. Do you sleep fully clothed? In case of fire. Do you really?

You want to be hanging out in your front yard in your boxies? Fire department shows up, people are out there, and you're in your front yard walking around in your underwear going, what happened? They're probably not looking at you in your skin, but you start going, wow, look at that house, man. It's on fire. If we have a fire department who's more concerned about you out in your lawn in your skinnies, put your clothes. I'm just saying it's very hard to get comfortable. Can you just have a shirt ready to grab? No, I'm ready. He doesn't need one. He's ready to go. I am ready. Where's my fire shirt? I smell fire, I grab two children, I'm out the door. Let me ask you this. No worries. Is it better, if your house catches on fire, is it better to run outside in your skinnies or with a robe on? Well, what's under the robe? Is it a fuzzy robe? It doesn't matter. It does matter. You're otherwise encumbered. Okay, so the robe, so you don't have to factor in in case the robe gets… Here's what I'm saying. I don't find a robe very manly. No.

I don't find it, like, I would rather be out in my grundies, you know, as if I'm going to square off at the fire, than standing effeminally in my robe, twirling the deal, waiting for the fireman to show up. Unless you had a cigar or a pipe. It's over there, fellas. You know, Prefontaine wore a robe. He did not. Yeah, he did. Hugh Heppner, doesn't he walk around on a robe all the time? That's a smoking jacket. I'm pretty sure life won't turn out well for him in the end, though. Why do they call it a smoking jacket? Well, they use a smoking. Because they always have feminine. So your clothes don't smell? It's a bathrobe. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about that. Huh. Olsen? What do you know about that? Yeah, put Olsen on it. Smoking jacket. Go. We went the in and out of that. Did we move to number two? What was number two curious Christian character? Well, the opposite side of the super charismatic is the super conservative, who sits there with totally stone cold.

And, like, I refuse to clap, and I refuse to smile, and I refuse to… Did it cost money to get into this thing? It cost 200 bucks for everything. So this guy paid to get in? I mean, it was, like, cheap. Because that's in lodging, that's food, that was everything. Yeah, I'm sure you made a good decision, Daniel. No, I really want to defend myself here. I'm cool with that. I'm looking more at the motivation of Johnny Conservative here. You know, it was focused on the family. It could have been just, hey, I'm going to get away and get a cheap vacation. It could be… But, I mean, I'm just saying, any group you go to, it could be to get a concert, it could be some Christian gatherer, whatever. There's the ultra, you know… Crazy hipster. And then there's the total other end of the spectrum. Arms folded? Yeah. It's like, you will not make me crack a smile, because God doesn't smile. The Lord is upset with me as we speak. Yeah, exactly. Do you have only two examples in mind? No. Oh. What? You got more? Were you going to get to crying?

Yeah, there was another guy. And this happens a lot of times, he cried at everything. And he just wanted to give him a hug. It was just like, poor guy, he's a pastor. How does he survive? I mean, really, you hear a lot of stories. You know, you hear a lot of stuff. I don't know how… The guy has got to have heartburn and heart issues. Because, I mean, literally every session, he moved his glasses and he had this… You know, I'm like, is he crying? And then… His wife in his eyes. I'm like, oh, poor guy. I mean, he just broke your heart thinking… Well, how does he get through the day? I know, that's what I'm wondering. Because in his role, because he had to be a pastor, being there, you hear a lot of heartbreaking things. Was it like all situations or just things that portrayed like the power of the Lord overwhelmed him? Well, it was a lot of people telling their stories of tragedy in their life. So he's weeping at other stories as well, not just his own. No, he wasn't weeping at his own. He was weeping at everybody else's. Oh, man. All the speakers that would come up. Is it Dave Trevecki, the guy who was a baseball guy in the 80s and 90s, big… Yeah.

And lost his shoulder and arm and everything. No, Dave Trevecki was the guy's name. Oh. Anyway, he was telling his story, him and his wife. Dave wouldn't be good at all. Oh, what you mean is… Did you completely say it was sad? I hadn't heard of that guy. There's some sad moments in the story. Maybe it's just I've heard it before, so I wasn't like… But the poor guy was crying and I thought, I'm just imagining someone coming to this guy, you know, oh, my marriage is in trouble. And he'd just start weeping. And I'm like, you can't help me, can you? Yeah, really. Let's be honest here. I need someone who can be objective. You've lost it. You seem to be on your own side here. Here, let me give you a tissue. I don't need a sympathetic third party. Maybe that's how it works. It like switches it. So then they're comforting him. Maybe so. Maybe so. And again, I'm not being critical. I'm just saying it's just an observation. And I see that anywhere you go.

There's a group. It could be a song where people are just weeping. It's like, I've cheered up at songs before. So, you know, I mean… Oh, I've done that. Yeah. Especially when they're done poorly, I suppose. Oh, no. I think when I hear… Man, there's a song that I almost… I weep at almost every… Oh, at the end of… Elvis did the American Trilogy. And at the end, he does Glory, Glory, Hallelujah. And if no one else is in the car, I'll turn up really loud. And I might weep a little. I can't say, yeah. Yeah. I heard people were weeping the other day in church when someone was doing… What'd you do? It is well. It is well. Thank you. It is well. Yeah. That was done pretty well. Yep. It's an epic. It is.

It is. There's one song that Pathway Church pulls off. And it is well. It is an epic. And you know what's so funny? It is the first time we ever did that. I mean, it was, you know… Well, we're only eight years old. But the worship team… You know, most of us are people who have never been in church before. At least in the original worship team. And they'd never heard the song in their life. And we had to teach it to them. And so it was kind of cool. And they were like, well, this is kind of a cool song. Yeah. That's a good song with a good backstory. You know, whatever. Yeah. We looked up. Yes. I will raise up one hand. I think that's the maximum hands I'll raise up. One out of two. Is that a cheer, Mike? You can't help us. Get this man a tissue. There's timpani's. There's a guy back there doing this number.

This is a tune now. Look. Have you ever seen any footage of older Elvis in concert? Yeah. Have you ever heard of the rock band Bread? No. Daniel? Nope. Ben? Bread. Yeah. Okay. They sing Guitar Man. I don't know if you… Okay, you have to get a picture of these fellas to see what I'm saying. But every drummer that Elvis ever had looks like the Bread. The entire band. Like all guys put together Bread. Hmm. Like he's always crazy. Like he looked kind of like the cavemen on the insurance commercials. So he's… Yeah, yeah. The Geico guy, yeah. Yeah. So every drummer that Elvis ever had past the age of 35 was always real hip and bouncing and then always had a beard like this and he'd never be looking at his drums. Like he's always looking somewhere else. Like he's got big stuff brewing.

And then all of a sudden when it's his time for a solo, now he's dead on the drums. Like he has to look at each other single one. And then he's back to rocking. Oh, it's… Maybe he's bored. Oh, they're flying around and his arms are flying around like the Hungry Hungry Hippo game. I mean, he's all over the map. He's the coolest dude you've ever seen. Like that kind of guy is what makes people want to get into music. It's because he can't stop himself. Yeah. He's got like some kind of disease. I don't do that. When? I don't know. I don't drum. So I don't bounce. I don't. I don't do that. All right. I don't do that either. All right. I don't ever do that. I don't do that. I'm not a bouncer. I said the guy did it. I just did a good impersonation of it, which is… I'll put at the top of my list of my best impersonation. Actually, I don't ever.

I'm not sure whether you did a good impersonation of it. Well, you can find a video of him. I'll see. Okay. He's pretty solid. I'll see what I can do. You've been listening to Live from the Path on Des Moines Amplified.com. Thanks so much for being here tonight. You can reach us during the week on livefromthepath.org, where you can find archived shows. You can sign up for the podcast or re-sign up for the podcast. I mean, they're falling off like flies. Yeah, man. I don't know what happened to that podcast. Nobody likes it. I mean… Maybe they've heard it and said… We need to talk to Demastus, because everything seems to be going well. Yeah. Demastus comes on the show, and people are diving off… Bow it out left and right. Like it's arsenic water. Maybe it was that pee pad stuff we talked about last year. That may have crossed… I was listening in Colorado, and I thought, ooh. He brought it up. He was the stand-in pastor man. I should have called him and said, Mike, Mike. Don't talk about pee pads, okay? Okay, let's not do it again, though.

If that's what's it, X day on the e-pad pay. The pooser of Pompa Moose Pass. Anyway, that's on the YouTube. You want to check it out? Oh, I did see that. Did you pick it out as a segment? Yep. Bummer. Nice. Good, that one's etched in stone. Classic. Nothing I can do about that. Anyway. Where did the phrase, three sheets to the wind, come from? I've never heard it. Seriously? Three sheets to the wind. I haven't heard it. What happens at the Hudson household? What do you guys do? We sit around and pray. Mostly, dear God, help the foost boys. Yeah, three sheets to the wind. They're so lost. It's a phrase for drunk, drunkenness. He's three sheets to the wind? Maybe that's it. We just hang out in those places. Well, drunk people don't say it.

They use it to describe drunk people. I'm not mean toward drunk people. What is it? Three sheets? Yeah, three sheets to the wind. To the wind. And then you say, oochie. Or what do you say? Ooski. Oochie. Oochie. You know, it's no wonder she don't want you covered on campus and making appearances. This is my uncle. I don't know this man. Steve. Who's this person? I only know him when I need to eat. Hey, kids. Oochie. I'm Uncle Dan. Or Velvet Crush. Velvet Crush. Live from Des Moines. Yeah. Okay, wait. I got him. Hold on. Who is it? It's the Elvis live concert.

Oh, the drummer dude? Okay, I don't know if they've got a good shot of him. There's probably the drum set in the back. Impressive. I don't know if I'm going to show him or not. This might be the Elvis on the camera. Get out of the way. He's got two bass drums. Poor drummer's always hiding in the background. Come on, Elvis. Get out of the way. Let's check and see if I can get some better footage of him. Oh, I see him. I see him. Hee-haw. Man, he's got a long-sleeved shirt on. He's hot and sweaty. Are there a couple dudes there? I'm the drummer. I don't think that guy's the drummer. Actually, that guy was the drummer. I don't know what he's doing. He just threw something. He looks like he was stealing cards back there. That's all I got. That's the best I could do. That's pretty good. I'm telling you. You can tell by what was going on behind Elvis that this man is.

He wears a one-piece suit. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah. He puts two feet in and then it zips up like a sleepy pajamas. Exactly. It's the drummer onesie? We had a guy that we used to work at somewhere. Wait, there he was. Hold on. Hold on. I got a better one of them. Yeah. Okay, this is way better. Here it comes. I'm on the edge of my seat. That looks like an older Elvis. It's supposed to be rolling. No, he's younger. Yeah, I meant to say younger. Sorry about that. Okay, hold on. They're going to show him. He's rocking on the left corner. There he is. That's him. Oh, yeah. He looks like, uh, uh. He looks just like Mike. Oh, he's going nutty.

He's not married to that woman. Hold on. I'll see if we can get another one of them. That's not him. So we need to get a, uh. That guy looks like he sells hair product. Rock band thing in here. Like the game? Yeah. If it could be for real. All right. All right. That's enough. That's a good video. Mike, get back to your hole. Hey, man. You don't belong over here. So you work in this place. So anyway, I used to work in this. And we used to call this guy onesie because he was, because he was, he was, he was a bigger man. And, and, and somehow this, his shirt stayed right in formation of like his belly. And I thought there is no way that the shirt is staying where it's supposed to be unattended. So we would refer to him as onesie because that's the only way I could figure out the shirt would stay in place. Like the little babies wear that like snap. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You know, if they made one of those, would you wear it?

I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. You'd wear it. I had, I had, uh, it's been a few years ago now, a big giant red one piece pajamas. Pajamas. With like a, a bum flap. It, I think it did have one of those. A union suit. Yeah, a union suit. That was pretty cool. You probably don't remember that. I was like, that was a long time ago. Yeah, a long time ago. Um. Do you guys ever watch Family Guy? I've seen it. Have you seen the episode where he gets the pajamas like that? Like the one piece, or the onesie red, the little like butt flap. Yeah. What do you call that? And then he, he's like, he shocks everyone. He like. Yes. And then zaps people. Yeah. That was, that was funny. It just reminds me of that. I, I actually have, I've, I, mine didn't have the feet in it, but I had a union suit.

And, uh, I was very proud of it to the point where I wore it for a long time. Yeah. I thought it goes with everything is what I thought. I thought it would, it goes underneath every outfit. Absolutely. I think it, I think it is. Every time you see one of those old movies with minors and stuff that they all got, the Cowboys got union suits on. Classy. I feel like I need more clearance than the bum flap allows. Yeah. I never attempted. Really? To deliver. To deliver. You didn't deliver out of the bum flap? Yeah. It was just kind of like, yeah, I don't think we'll work for that. Pants, do you own a union suit? Pence said that was mine. Is he talking, did you borrow Pence's union suit? No. That seems like something you wouldn't pass around. Something we share. Something that you don't buy. Like it on Wednesdays and Fridays. I think it's one of those things you don't buy at the Goodwill along with undies. Have you ever seen, I've seen that. It was like Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants.

Is that a, is that a movie? Like, it's a, I think it was a book, then it was a movie. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Spore Girls share a pair of pants. Huh. Really? Is that the same thing as the ya-ya ladies? The sisterhood ya-ya? It's a different. No. Oh. I don't really know if that's what it is. We went to that movie, and I was the guy in the theater. Yeah. I would guess. Shanna, Danielle, and I. Yeah. Mom wasn't there. I don't believe. Yeah, it was just the three of us. And we got done, and I was like, well, guys, I survived that. That's okay. And I look up, I thought, I was the guy. I think you were the only guy. Not even any gay guys. I mean, it was just me. That's bad. That's real bad. Luckily, nobody needed any jars open, or you would have been real big.

There's a line. I'm in trouble with our popcorn. Hey, man, that'd be awesome. That is the place to be the only guy. Your ego gets a little massage. Let me be your hero. No problem. Let me put on my union suit. I got this one. I need some extra butter on that popcorn, sweetheart. I'll go talk to the guy. Let the man get this straightened out. 1930s comes out back out of nowhere. Do you hear my keys jangling? That's a man. I keep 15 million keys on me. That's scary. Have you ever met anybody that shaves with a straight blade or had the straight blade shave at the barber? I've seen it done as a kid, but I've never. Pants had that done recently. He said it hurts like the dickens. Yeah. He says it's fierce. I mean, like it burns. It burns your skin. But if it was sharp, not hurt? I mean. Maybe Pants went to a poor quality guy.

Pants, did you go to a substandard straight razor barber? Did the pole outside have both red and white stripes, or was it solid color? Iowa School of Beauty. Do you know where that pole thing came from? No. The red and white stripes on the barber pole? No. When they used to shave people, they used to cut them on accident, you know, and they'd use a cloth to clean it up and then hang it outside, and it would wrap around the pole. That's where the pole came from. Where did the blue come from? That's not blue. I thought you said there was blue. No, red and white. You've seen a barber pole, have you not? Yeah. Have you seen one with blue on it? Isn't there blue on it sometimes? No. Red and blue? No, absolutely not. Oh. I don't know that you've seen one. I think you're thinking of candy canes. But that is red and white only. Yeah, that's true. They've got blue on a candy cane. Yeah, they give out the blue and red candy canes all the time. I don't know about that.

I would say standard candy canes, red, white, definitely. Yeah. I'd say standard barber pole, red and white. Yeah. The one in Johnson doesn't have blue on it. Yeah, actually, that guy does have blue on it. Thank you. Yeah, the guy in Johnson doesn't count. He's not a real barber, though. Maybe that's where Pants went to. I remember Pants telling me that he went through for his brother's wedding. They were trying to all get straight raised shaves for this wedding. And they couldn't find somebody that actually had a real barber that did a straight razor. Like nobody does anymore. You have to be licensed to do it. Yeah. To straight razor people. Really? I would hope so. I don't really know what that means. Like just one razor? Yeah. It's kind of like a long… Yeah. You just cut. You ever seen it on the movies? Kind of like a switchblade. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know when they clean it off on a leather belt or something?

Yeah. You're not going there to get your hair cut? No. No, you're just getting… No, just get the shave. Yeah. I've never seen that as a kid. You know what my dad had? I don't think you can do it with a straight razor. Growing up, my dad had that leather strap from a barber, and he used that to beat us. Yeah, for whoopins? That was a whoopin'. The whoopin' strap. He goes, I'm going to get the strap. Did he chew tobacco? Or was he missing teeth? He was. He said that, and then he blew into an empty jug. When he said the strap, we suddenly straightened up. We did not want the strap. I got the strap. That sounds terrible. Did you have an item when the gals were younger that you had to refer to in case of trouble? We needed no discipline for our children. I see. I am perfect. Shanna, though. She was beaten daily. We had to have two straps.

I wore the other one out. It goes through phases, you know, because, I mean, you know, the idea is not to beat them, you know, but to make them realize that what they're doing probably isn't a good idea and could be harmful to them. So, you know, you do the little swat on the hand or something when they're reaching for a hot oven or something, you know, like, oh, don't do that. And then you get to the point, if you do a little spanking, but then you get to that point when they're on the diaper and they just look at you like they're trying to pretend like they felt it, but, you know, you know, you know better. At some point, you know, okay, this isn't effective. So we had the wooden spoon. And the thought was, do it, only have to use it once or twice ever. Make it memorable. So when you, like, when Dad said, the strap. Right. All you have to do is say, we'll go get the spoon and that would be, that would be all you needed. The ender. Was that effective? Yes. See? Yes, it works. See? I've done well. What do we do? Once or twice, maybe. Danielle has some very bad memories of this that are not nearly as accurate as her mother and I have for a story. No, my mom told me not to step in the mud or she would spank me with a wooden spoon,

but I had already stepped in the mud. Oh, that's her story. There's a caveat. But, you know, we got to think, I was across the parking lot and by the time the sound waves got to me, it already happened. I clearly remember already being in the mud before she said, no. Did you try to explain yourself? Yeah. They did not have it. They said no. I mean, we made sure there was never any spanking, like, out of emotion. You know, it wasn't like, the intent was never like. Yeah, I like to be hit by a cold-hearted snake. Shannon could tell you a nice little story of, you know, like, okay, are you ready? This is going to hurt now. It was like, we gave you a very clear, you know, here's where you cross, when you cross this line, this is what's going to happen. And when she crossed the line, then you have to do it because then you're a liar if you don't. That's true. Yeah. So it was like, I wanted to, she only got it once. And, man, that is horrible. That is a horrible feeling, knowing you're going to cause immense pain. I bet it's awful to have to do it as a parent. Yeah. So, I mean, it was like one or two, probably two little swats. I mean, it wasn't like, you know, you go crazy on them. But enough to go, I don't think I want that ever again. Right.

I don't want this. You don't want this. Yeah. Neither one of us like this. I remember the last spanking I got with a hairbrush. And it's because I winded at the babysitter's. And the babysitter didn't think it was funny. And I was laughing. I was like five or six or something. And then she told me to sit in time-out chair. And I did it again. And I laughed at that one, too. And so, you know, when my mom came to pick us up, the babysitter had said, I was just the worst kid ever. You know, like, I was winding right and running across the whole house, winding and causing a big stink. Literally. And, you know, boy, mom got home. She goes, listen, you're going to have to get spanked with the brush. I'm like, come on, the brush, you know. The brush. And she goes, on the bare bottom. Hold on. No. And I thought, brush and bare bottom, come on. You know, is this really necessary? Be careful. I'm kind of windy tonight. You should have right before.

And it was because I had dragged my misbehavior to someone else's house was the issue. You know, if I was going to act like a hoodlum in wind, I guess that's cool at my own place, but definitely not the babysitter. Actually, five or six is a bad estimate. I recall distinctly you being 15 years old and being chased out of the house by mom with a wooden spoon. I mean, I did not see my mom haul tail like that ever. And whatever he did, she took off. I mean, they must have gone a couple hundred yards, the two of them, chasing him, trying to chase him down with a wooden spoon. She didn't actually catch me because she was an old woman. I outran her. That's awesome. But she was, I don't know if she was actually upset. She was going to hit me. Whether she was upset or not, I'm not sure. But I had said something and she said, you don't talk to your mother that way. And I said, I did. What do you do about it? Michael, I'm going to get the spoon. I said, I'll run away by the time you get that spoon, Bob. You know that. And then, boy, she showed up like three minutes later after I'd forgotten about it with a spoon in hand. Like she'd been waiting for me to sit down and get comfortable. She'd come rocking out with a spoon. And boy, I hightailed it. Where does everybody get these wooden spoons? I mean, is that something you get as soon as you have the baby at the hospital, they

give you the wipes, the butt cream, and then the spoon and say, you better hold on to this deal. I think most of the politically correct world out there would say the wooden spoon is inappropriate. I don't know how you find, like how do you decide what you're spanking? I mean, you actually got to put a little thought into it. You can't just hit them with anything, you know? So now you're checking stuff out. You know, you pick up a wooden spoon and you go, I don't know if that's going to work. You pick up the cutting board maybe. Maybe, you know, that might be a bit much, you know, a metal spoon now. I don't know. You know, our philosophy was you have one item and you have it in a specific spot and it, you know, it's not, everybody knows what it is. Like a frame with a light on it. The Leon. It was on top of the refrigerator. Yeah. I won't forget. And it wasn't like the typical wooden spoon. We had those for other things. Here, honey, lick the batter. Wow. Just kidding, that was the ender. See how I snuck the spanking spoon into everyday life? Ha! So that's coming up in a few weeks. Well, maybe it's closer toward, no, not Christmas. November-ish.

We're doing a sermon series on Child Marine and one of the sermon titles is Beat Him With a Rod. I mean, it comes right out of Proverbs. And so, you know, it's scriptural to use discretion, but to use something physical. To correct them. To correct them. Some kids need physical correction. It's not to beat them. Some kids don't. You know, some kids, you know, you can reason with them or whatever. Some kids need a smack. I needed a smack. I needed the spank. Sure. I was terrible. Did you have slots in the spoon? Like, was it a… No, just a wooden spoon. Okay. Mike, do you remember the one that Mom was chasing with? You have slots in it? Brett got it with the slots in it for extra speed. Aerodynamic whacking. Boy, that'd be terrible if it whistled when it came at you. Man, then you'd really know it was coming. Like, usually your mom would say she's going to count to three and then go flying. Mom would usually do it on two, but I got used to that. I knew it was coming, you know. But boy, if it had a whistle to it, that would really be creepy.

Oh, no. Kevin, you got yours with the ball paddle. What a bummer. The ping pong paddle? Boy, that's like getting hit in the face with a Nintendo. I mean, this is where the fun happens. You're ruining everything for me. So did you ever get spanked, but they missed, and you cried anyway to make them think they got you? I've done that. I did that. Or like they got you on the lower cheek and not really in the meat. How do you miss? I feel terrible. How do you miss? I think it's because the parrot really doesn't want to do it. Because they're doing out of emotion and they're angry, I think. And you're squirming, I suppose. I've had that happen. Yeah. I mean, my dad took the strap after me one time and I jumped up on the stairs and he was whack, and he was getting a stare right underneath me. Totally missed me. Never got me one. So I'm like, I was just bawling. I showed you. And I'm going. Take that, angry dad. Man, I think our dad, I think dad might have spanked us once.

And like, I was old enough to be cognizant of how awkward it was to grab like a six or seven year old dude and try to rip his pants down. Like, I mean, it's just weird. He doesn't, you don't fit in that thing between the sink and the toilet anymore. You know, like, because the toilet in a, you know, a mid-level home, there's the toilet and the sink and then the wall. And like, the younger you are, you can fit between that thing on the knees still. Yeah. But like, when you get too old and you kind of like bend your knees and you have to situate yourself so you can get your swat. I mean, and then you're doing that and he's trying to get, because you're not helping. And I don't know, that's real awkward. Yeah. It was actually, we had not been spanked at mom's house for like two years, because mom was the everyday parent. Yeah. Dad was, it was the weekend, you know, and so I think we just really had done something awful. And like, he just… And we both got, I think we were both in trouble. He was left to no recourse, but to give us the whacking and we hadn't gotten spanked us forever. It's like old school, you know, old news. We don't get whacked anymore, you know. It was very, it was very awkward. Indeed. I think I like the sound of putting some aerodynamics on that. Whoopin', whoopin' spoon. Does it make it harder?

But it's lighter, right? Because it's not full. Well, that's the question, though. It's kind of like when you're buying a car, do you want speed or torque? You know? Do you want the ability to really give it a whaling or do you want it to do some damage? I'd like to actually, you know, it would freak me out. You know what you do? Actually, this is a good idea. I've decided I'm going to do this directly. I'm going to get a glove. Like a glove without the fingers and stuff. That way, I have two steps. Like, if they start sassing me, I just put the glove on. And then I don't have to say anything. Like, that's the spoon glove. That's the Michael Jackson glove. And then if I have to use it, I've got the solid on it. Wait a minute, so… You shouldn't clench your fists. So if they're doing something wrong, you creepily break out the gloves. And if you can get a brand new leather one so it can go… You have to make a rubber glove so you can have them with you no matter where you're at. You're at the grocery store. Oh, yeah. And then you can snap it. Like, I'm mean business. Yeah, and you can have your wife be like, you know, if they're causing trouble and you're at a store or something, you say, where'd dad go?

He's always trying out new gloves. What? Really? You know, the rubber… If I use a rubber glove, they're never going to go to the doctor or agree to clean the toilet again. I've got to get some special ones. You put on gloves to clean the toilet? No. I used to. I'd go right at it. I'd dump some bleach in there and then I'd go barehanded in there. I'd use the wand. We've got the disposable wand. What do you use? Wait, do you just use your hands? Yeah, bare hands. How else will you know when you've got the crevices? The clean water comes from the tank. Didn't I shake your hand? You're cleaning the dirty stuff off. The poo? What doesn't get… Leavens? I mean, what are you cleaning then? But anyway, that business doesn't get up under the lip. If someone has a little too much bean sauce… I don't let those people in my house. We don't eat beans at my place at all. Zero beans.

I don't like beans either. No. I don't know what to do. I've read books about it. Were you going to look up that Three Sheets to the Wind thing? Oh, sorry. I was in the middle. Sorry. There was something else you were going to look up. I was looking up for more… I was looking for Elvis' drummer again. I thought… Did you know Elvis recently… This would be the anniversary of his death? Today? It's in August. I think it's tomorrow, maybe. I was pretty sure I was one of the first to know. Because I had a paper out, and I was like this kid, and I was delivering papers. And I got up in the morning, and I was like… The headline. I mean, I'm sure it was all over the news the day before, but I was like, nobody knows. Nobody knows. I was like, I am the news carrier today. I felt so powerful delivering papers that day. And so sad, too. I would have double charged it. Yeah, no kidding. I mean…

I wouldn't have given him the paper. I would have just knocked on the door and said, hey, guess what? I should have rung the door. Elvis is dead. Have you heard about Elvis? It'll cost you the noise. No, it says 4.30 when I bundled these. Everyone knows Elvis's impressions that day. Have you heard about Elvis? Uh-huh, uh-huh. And that's why they had to clear a lake right across from the surf ballroom. So it was like, ooh, it was really deep. Dude, actually, how inappropriate if you were trying to introduce Elvis as deceased to somebody, and they're like, had done an impression of him just beforehand. Like, that's tough to back away from. Once you said, well, he died, I would have just turned around and shut the door and walked away if I had been the guy that done the impression of him. I would have went and put on my robe and stood in the backyard. Three sheets of the wind. Meaning, staggering drunk refers to a ship whose sheets have come loose, causing the sails to flap uncontrolled, and the ship to meander at the mercy of the elements. Hmm. Sounds like someone who's had too much to drink. Yeah. So it's a pirate reference? No. Well, a ship. Not necessarily a pirate. Yeah, definitely pirates.

A three-sailed ship of which all three sails have come loose, and it is the mercy of the world surrounding it. Wow. And that's a lesson. Three sheets to the wind. Wow. Good to know. I'm going to forget that by the time we leave. Oochie? What's the phrase again? Oosk. Oosk. Oosk. I've got to think Russian. What was it again? It's a looser. Arms up in the air, and someone gets you with the fingers? Right up in the armpit? Yeah. Oh, stretching or something. You're like, oosk. So what's the appropriate response? Yeah. Is there a defense? When you get oosk. Yeah. Like if someone does the eyebrow, and then you can do this, that to block it. Is there an oosk defense? That's how it's come back.

Can you arm, can you whack him? Oosk whack. Oosk whack. Bust out the glove. Yeah. Like an armpit clamp. Putting the glove on. Yeah. Boy, he does it real quick, oosk, oosk, and then you dramatically bust out the glove. The glove. What's the proper retaliation for being oosked? Yeah. Well, I don't know. My first reaction when anybody does anything to me is just hit him. Slap him? Yeah. You know, that's all in good fun until you catch somebody at the wrong time, and they're like, yeah, you oosk. I didn't oosky. I've been really mad. You know, I used to yawn, and my wife would stick her finger in my mouth. That's like the same thing. It's really annoying. Does it ever make you vomit? I do that to my dog. To your dog? Don't you ever try to catch your dog's tongue? Yeah, I do that. Okay.

That dog won't stop barking. She's always barking at the postman, so like, that's your solution? No, here's the deal. There's a bark raven dog, and you stick your finger in there and hold his tongue? That dog is impervious to, like, normal discipline. Here, check this out. So, there was a massive storm last week. Okay, storms. I was up for probably four hours to six hours a night for three days straight because that goofy dog won't stop, like, jumping on the bed. She's nervous as all get out, all right? Yeah. So, finally, I get tired, and I look online. What do I do for this nervous dog? He says, well, you got to change its behavior. Go Pavlov on it, right? So, when it starts thundering, you know, get the ball out so it can go play. The dog enjoys nothing. It'll make you up. Nothing of that sort at all. Like, she doesn't play catch. She doesn't want treats. Nothing. She just wants to be nervous at stuff. So, like, that is her normal operation. So, there's nothing to do but sit there and tolerate her ridiculous whining, jumping on the bed, waking me up behavior. And so, when she barks, she gets all nervous and barks. Like, I used to kind of, like, try to whack her on the butt, but she doesn't notice it

at all. And I just, I don't have it in me to, like, really waylay her on, you know, with my foot or something. So, so. I don't have enough energy to break out the foot. I know where I keep all my power. All my power's in my foot. But I, uh, but if I grab her tongue, she, you know, she does this. They don't know what to do. You catch them off guard. They're confused. Like we used to do to Grandma. At the home. When she would, she would go on and on about the 13th song. We had to grab her tongue. Grandma. There were a whole book of songs. Move on to 15. Go weave it in a blanket. I did. Sounds like you needed a dog whisperer. Yeah. You ever seen that show? You need to be, like, alpha dog. Show him who's boss. That's right. I can't follow what he's saying. I think that's basically what he says every time. Yeah.

Be the alpha dog. Yeah. Be in control. They'll know. I just scream at him. He has some kind of mystical powers is the deal. Like, I mean, he tries to make it sound like if you have some kind of confidence in yourself and the dog will instantly respect you. I've tried this before. You know, like I walk in. Were you standing like a chicken? I mean, I didn't do anything. With my hands on my hips. Getting ready to sass him. Doesn't hear a canine. I'm a cock-a-lock. That's the angry woman. Don't make me get my slotted spoon. Take a look. You've been listening to Live from the Path on Des Moines, Amplified.com. Again, thank you so much for being on tonight. We really appreciate it. You can catch us during the week on livefromthepath.org. I already said archive videos. There's performances from a lot of the bands that were here three weeks ago with the Spirit Midwest Music Festival. I'm going to be reposting those pretty soon. I realized I can do better on the quality that showed up. So, they're good, but I'm going to do better.

Okay. So, that's heading out. Wow. You can sign up for the podcast. You can check out the YouTube channel. The blog is out there. There's a lot of ways to get a hold of us. Also, if you want to send us an email, you can get a hold of us at info at livefromthepath.org. Can you call the studio now? Yeah. You know what? Actually, I was going to… Can they send cash? I think you can. I don't know how to work it, but we can give it a shot. Somebody call it. I will call it. Do you have your phone on it? Yeah, I'll call it. Call it right now. What's the number? 888. Okay. Is this going to cost me big money? No, it's free. 888 is a free number. What do I know? Go. Okay.

327. 327. 1007. 1007. All right. Let's do this thing. See how this delay… How this works. Are you calling me right now? It's not available. 188. 327. 1007. We should have paid our bill. Yeah, that's it. That ain't it. It says unavailable. Try just 327. 1007. All right, hold on. We're going to call someone at home who happens to have 515-327. Did you order a pizza? Is your refrigerator running? Hello? Hey, Mike. I'm in. Hey, sweet. Ho. Hey, hold on.

I'm going to go in the hallway. Okay. Hey, see if you can find that guy that roams around and looks like he's a ghost. Yeah, there's like a real thin dude that's got some… He's got some forward neck posture and he kind of just walks around the place. We see him like three or four times a night. I think he and Mike would get along well. Mike, are you back there? Yeah. Do your chicken look. Hey. Yeah. I don't see him. Here, can I put the camera at him? No, we can see him. Oh, he's going to walk anywhere. He's right behind Daniel. Let's see you. Daniel, I'm on the other side of a glass window. Daniel, he's like, I'm on your shoulder. That's creepy. Who's the creepy guy looking in at the studio? Did he say asper cream? Daniel's not coming through real clean. Then try to get that. I said there's a creepy guy outside looking in the window. Is he referring to me? Yes. I don't see this creepy guy.

I'll go take a look for him, though. You guys hang tight. All right. I'll call you right back. Okay. Hey, 00, if you have cameras at that restaurant down the aisle, I'd turn them on. Yeah, I think Mike's headed for that place. That's the one that got robbed, right? Yeah, they got broken into anyway, tried to take their stuff. That's right. He had a crowbar with him. Who did? Mike? Mike. I don't trust anybody with a crowbar. Didn't he want one of those chairs or something? I want one of those chairs. Those are nice chairs. They're green chairs. They're right there. When we leave, we can show you. If Mike doesn't have Mama's car, we'll show him. Anyway, pretty cool. How far away is he going? Did he hang up? Yeah, yeah. He's gone. Yeah, thanks for calling in, Mike. I don't know where he went.

Did he get bored? He hung up the phone. I don't know where he went. Bye, Mike. So I guess anybody else, if you're interested, you can call the studio, 327-1007. Uh, there's an empty chair on the, uh… On the thing, yeah. Oh, maybe you should just put that one up. Oh, no, there's two of you. I guess the mic. He's in all the shots. Doggone it. Well, there's me and Danielle. Hi, Danielle. Hey, what's up? Hey. There you go. So are you heading back to school here pretty soon? I am, Thursday. Oh, did you hear it? I am. I am. I'm going back to Kentucky. I am going back to Kentucky. Yes, Thursday. Awesome. Yep. Pretty excited. That's it.

Dan, are you driving down there? Uh, no, I'm not. You're driving down on your own? Yeah, I'm going to fit all my stuff in that little blue car. Do you think you need more? Can you get her a bigger vehicle? Please. I would love to. Okay. Do I look like I have a lot of money? Look at the clothes I wear. No, that's true. That's true. You're like a… Well, I can't say because it's offensive to those people. If anybody would like to donate me a car in the next year… Wait, he just appears. Like, it doesn't even ring or anything. He just… Hey, is Ben there? Mike, nobody has to answer the phone? It just happens? It just happens. So anybody could call at any time and just say, yeah, they should have a pimp room. He's a… Hey, can I talk to Ben? Yeah, but yeah. What's up, Mike? Hey, it's Mike.

Ben's not here right now. Hey, Mike. Yeah, I'm going to find that creepy guy. Okay. I mean, I checked all kinds of creep… I checked behind the dumpster and in the bathroom. All places I could figure creepy dudes to be. Have you done your creepy guy call? Yeah, Mike, if you were to make a noise that you think would attract a creepy fellow roaming the skywalk, what noise would that be? Hold on a second. I'll see if I get him. Hey, hey, hey. Hold on. Wait, I think I see him. You might be picking around. Just a second. No, it wasn't him. That sounded more like a donkey. Okay. Can I come back in the studio now? Yeah, yeah, no problem. Oh, wait, the door is locked. Sorry. Good luck. I'm going to be out here by myself. Okay. Seriously. I can't believe you…

I've got to figure out what's going on. It just comes right in. Dan, where are you going? I can let him in. Oh, that's right. We're locked out of the studio. Very cool. Well, so, yeah, again, if you want to give us a call, you can get a hold of us at 327-1007. And obviously, we can't screen your call, so you pretty much are on. Yeah, I tell you the deal. As soon as I call, it doesn't ring, but like for two seconds, it's like, wham, and then I can hear you talking. That's freaky. That's weird. That's pretty slick. How do we screen it? Can't we? I think there's a weird one. What if we get one call? We can't talk about our, you know, we've got to come up with the name of a guy who's our screen caller, call screener, screen caller. Okay. Guido. I took it off auto. Maybe that's the deal. I don't know what does that. Roger. Roger. Roger.

Don't recall when it's not on auto. Yeah, give it one more shot here. Okay, hold on. Hey, you ever seen that Google voice? No. What? It's pretty cool. Like if you sign up for it on Google, it'll link it to your, like, your cell phone number or whatever. It'll, like, take your voices, your voicemail. Most of us only have one voice. It'll take your voicemail. Yeah, there it's ringing. It'll take your voicemail. All right, hold on. Live from the path, you're on. Hey, can I talk to Ben? Okay, how sweet is it? That worked. We can screen it. Hey, Ben, it's Mike. Hey, Mike. Did you find that crazy man? Hold on. Do you want me to do his voice again? Yeah, yeah, give it one more shot. Okay, thank you. That's all we needed. Thanks for calling.

See you. Anyway, you hook it to your voicemail account, and it'll type out your voicemail for you so you can read it while you're on Google. I have heard of that. Yeah, it's hip, except for, like, a friend of mine had it, and I left him a voicemail. And then I read back what it thought I had said. Oh. And, man, it wasn't even close. Like, I had said something like, we're almost there, you better have something ready to eat because we're hungry. And it said something like, I play the fiddle on top of a snowman if you want to, Gibraltar. Like, it wasn't even close to anything that I had come close to saying. Like, it was awful. Huh. What's this about? I don't know. It just came up. Huh. Hey, so here's the deal. This is from the Los Angeles Times, and this was from, I don't know, about a week and a half ago. So the author, Anne Rice, best known for her vampire novels, made waves last week when she declared on her Facebook page that she had quit being a Christian. Twelve years after her return to Catholicism, Rice said. Now, who's this? Anne Rice. Anne Rice. She was best known for her vampire novels. Any specific ones? Just in general.

Yeah, the ones that came out to be the vampire. Everybody's doing vampire. There was a dude right there. That wasn't the creepy guy, but he heard your noise and came looking. So, you must have some creepy things going on we don't know about. Anyway. Anne Rice, didn't she, it's the books that led to be the Twilight series, right? No, no. No. Oh. There's Twilight, True Blood. That's Stephanie Meyer. There's, yeah. I don't know books. Anyway. Books? Whatever. You don't know the books. None of these things. She was a popular, very popular vampire novels. Okay. And she had, let's see. By the way, they're kind of ruining the whole vampire thing, but go ahead. Yeah, okay. So, 12 years after her return to Catholicism, Rice said that she still believed in God, but that, in the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat.

I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. End of statement. Okay. So, she's walking, basically, I thought that there was a follow-up here. So, she's basically walking away from, is she trying to say that I, you know, this is kind of the hit, like, something that I'm afraid is kind of afraid. I don't know. Like, it's the hip thing to be. The hip thing is to be anti-church, pro-Jesus. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're not, like, it's not, I don't think you can be that way. But it's like the new wave of Christianity, like, I don't really dig on church, but me and the Lord are tight, you know? And so, it seems to be sweeping up, because it's easy to bash on the church. You know, it's easy to say the church failed this, failed this, failed this up, you know, the church doesn't do this right, you know? And so, people like to hear other people who notice the same fallibility and say, you know, I go straight to the source. I don't need the people. I need the Lord, you know? And, you know, and I think, you know, a lot of people can identify with what she's saying, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's a statement that can be done. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know that you can discard the church, you know, like this and point your finger and say, I don't want anything to do with this anymore. Well, I mean, when she says quit being a Christian, you know, there's certain connotations that come with, you know, being a Christian that aren't necessarily accurate things, but

they are, but the common parlance has come to denote someone who is not committed to their faith, who has like a very shallow following of Christ, you know, like goes through the motions. Like, that has become, like when you say Christian, I'm afraid that that's a lot of what comes to people's mind is a judgmental, hypocritical, shallow follower who doesn't do or really seek any of the things that Jesus wanted. They just, they walk through it and then hold that as pious above others. Yeah. That's mostly what they hear in public. Yeah. Is the negative and we don't like this and we don't like that and we're against this and we're against you and we hate this and we hate you and blah, blah, blah. Well, you know, and I was thinking, I talked a bit about this a couple of weeks ago, but like she says, I'm tired of being anti-gay. I'm tired of being anti- Feminist. Feminist, you know, all that jazz, you know. If you go down, you know, to a no gay marriage rally, you know, whatever, I'm not down there as a Christian. I'm down there as a dude that doesn't, I don't want this in my country. You know what I'm saying? Like it doesn't, they take your, you know, that'd be like me, you know, doing the same thing to them, you know, is, you know, I have full rights, you know, whether I'm a Christ follower or not, you know, I have as much say as what gets passed as a law in this country, hopefully, as anybody else, you know, and so, you know, they seem to like to pair that together and make it, you know, make it a Christian issue when it is, but it's just as much a rights of the people issue, you know, like maybe that's not the direction that you wanted your country to go in. You know, you have full rights to go down. I mean, are you, can you not go because you're a Christian because you don't want people to

think Christians go to rallies? You know, I don't know. Sure. It seems like an awkward position to be in. Well, and I think there's a, there's, there's a, there's a bunch of things with, with, I think the, some of the stuff that she said, I guess to begin with, with kind of what you were talking about, Michael, is it's becoming fashionable to, you know, say, you know, I'm, I have a one-on-one relationship with God and that's what I'm supposed to have. I don't do the organized religion. You know, I guess to a certain extent, we need to make sure we're defining the church correctly. The church is not the building. The church is not the organization. I mean, look at, look at the church as it was founded, you know, in Jesus' time. It's, you know, they weren't drawn up papers. You know, it's not like they're talking about an infrastructure here. It is, the church was, was the people and their trust in Christ and that was it. You know, when, when she talks about, if you walk away from Christianity or walk away from the church, you're leaving the people, right? You think you're leaving the building. You think that you're leaving the structure, right? But, but what is the structure? You might have, you know, a couple thousand people in your, in your top of, say, the Catholic church, for example. You know, if that's what you're walking away from, think of the millions of people that you're saying, you know what, I'm done walking this road with you that God asked us to walk together. I'm walking away from that. And, and, and from a biblical example, you know, who's, who's Christ's bride?

It's not a person. It's the church. It's the body of believers. And, and second to that, when did Jesus, for all its failings, ever walk away from the church? He didn't. Right. That's the ultimate destination for the church. Nor any of the apostles. I mean, yeah, we are the plan of God on this earth. Yeah. We are his hands, his feet, we're his body, we're his bride, a lot of different pictures the Bible uses. Yeah. You can't walk. I mean. Well, that's the thing is, you know, I mean, what kind, what kind of decision is that anyway? You know, like, like, I don't like, I don't like what goes on, you know, in the church. I don't know. I don't like where the church stands, you know? Sorry, brother, you're in it, you know? Well, instead of leaving, why don't you stand up and, and, and maybe turn around and look at your church and go, what don't I like? You know, is it biblical? Is it not biblical? If it ain't biblical, then why don't you get in and fix it? But, you know, why don't you try to make some changes so the church is maybe more representative of what, of what it needs to be. Like, I mean, we're talking like, like corruption type stuff, you know?

Right, right. I mean, you can't, you know, like, like, like Ben was saying a couple weeks ago, you know, if you take issue with, with, you know, God's stance on, say, homosexuality or, you know, the life of a fetus, you know, your problem ain't with the church, your problem's with the Lord. Exactly. And so, you know, you can't turn around and look at the church and go, how could you, you know, because they're doing what the Lord asked them to. It's so clear in, in the written word, you know, it's not like, well, this is my interpretation, you know, it's like, no, it's just what it says. Right, there's, there's not really much, you know, and, and some of that stuff, you know, if you have a problem with that, then you have a problem with God and you need to get to with God about that jazz. I mean, go make your own planet. I mean, you know, if you don't like it, there's nothing the church can do for you, you know, because I mean, if they're, if they're worth two salts and they're working to get, you know, to, to, to get a body of believers towards Christ, they're not going to bend, you know, what the Bible says to curtail your, your opinion on the subject, because it's not really a subject that warrants an opinion, you know, but, but, you know, back to the first thing, you know, if you, if your problem isn't with, uh, uh, you know, doctrine and it's just, you know, like there's petty fighting in my church or whatever, get in there, man, put some gloves on and get, get, get, help go or clean your church out. Either get in there. The gloves of discipline. Either get in there or go somewhere else. Right. Like it's, it's, the option is not get in or get out. It's get in or find somewhere else where, where, you know, you find that the environment is more reflective of what God is asking the church to be.

I don't think there's, I don't think there's any reason to stick around in a church that does not biblically sound like if you say this, they're not doing what the Bible asked to do. You know, it's, it's not really your job to hang in there for 15 years and try to rope the whole deal back in. Well, they're teaching. Oh, go ahead. Well, I was gonna say, I think a lot of it is selfishness though, because they're not thinking, is this God's church working the way God wants it? It's, is it, is this thing working the way I want it to work or is it, yeah, is it working out for me or I don't know. It's kind of a selfish thing. Most of the time, I think putting yourself in the way, like you're not, you're supposed to fit my views, my comfort level, my blah, blah, blah. And it's also like a commitment deal because you can't like, you are supposed to have a relationship, personal relationship with God, but you need the people there too. It's all about relationships and you need the people too to, I don't know. To make up the church, really, you know what I mean? I mean, that's why we have different spiritual gifts. Every one of us are, you know, sinful, broken people that are, if we don't have people helping us, we're gonna, we're gonna fall off a cliff, you know, I mean, so we need, we need that. And sometimes you have churches where everyone's sitting around just applauding each other, patting each other on the back and they're not, they are straying from scripture, from doctrine, from solid teaching. And the scripture calls that, you know, doctrines taught by demons, you know, so they might have the, the name of a church on it that may sound like Jesus and everything, but it's so far from Jesus, it's not even recognizable as his bride anymore, which is sad because now we have a complete, I mean, I understand the divide political, you know, Republican, Democrat, liberal, conservative, whatever, but you see that in the church now too, that

there's two complete worlds where you have one church standing up and say, I wouldn't really care what the Bible says, that's whatever, it's, they didn't, he didn't really mean that, and, and they've fallen off a cliff, you know, and you gotta be careful of that. Well, I mean, and, and the thing is, let's, let's call a spade a spade here. I mean, there, there, there are instances where, you know, people proclaiming to be Christ followers or followers or Christians, um, who very, who very well may be for, you know, for all I know, um, you know, are making wrong choices. Uh, newsflash, Christians are hypocrites, always will be, right? This is what God said to do, so that's what we're going to say to do. We are going to fail at that. Yeah. It's going to happen over and over and over again. It's in the design. Right, exactly. So, I mean, you want to point your finger and say, look at that hypocritical Christian. It's the liar that's saying, no, no, no, I'm not a hypocrite. Yes, you are. You always will be. You know that about yourself. You cannot meet God's standards. You will continue to preach and talk about what God has asked to do, but you will not match up to that. You're a hypocrite. You're going to have to learn to deal with that, but you recognize it, uh, and you, and you go back to God with it. So, I mean, they, they, they use that as a, as a, you know, as a derogatory, but I mean, I, you know, it's, it's just a truth. There's nothing you can do about that. Well, and the issue is, are, are, are you rebellious in your hypocrisy and saying,

whatever, you know, I'll do as I please. Thank you very much. Or are you repentant in it and say, man, I messed up. Wow. I didn't mean to do that, but I did again. And, you know, you go back and you crawl back and say, okay, I'm going to start. Right. I fell short, not ran short. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it's, you know, it's the combination of the two, the two, the two big, uh, adjectives of the Christian is the judgmental Christian and hip hypocritical Christian, uh, the hypocritical one. I think we're going to have to just make deals with it. It's what's going to happen, right? It's the judgmental part. That's the problem as if you're not a hypocrite, that's, that's where the issue. And I think that's where some of the, the, when people run from the piety and they, they like to blame this on the church. There's, there's like, there tends to be a strong person, you know, that gets to shade the whole body of Christ in a certain way because they talk louder, you know, and the guy that's trying to talk louder than God is the guy you need to stop paying attention to anyway, you know? And so I think that's a lot of, a lot of what happens is, is the church gets colored or the body of believers gets colored by, uh, the loud, the flashy, you know, the, the person who, you know, you need to be verifying that what they're saying is biblically sound, you know, and they're, they also tend to be the judgmental, the person who says, you know, you're a liar.

Well, congratulations. So am I get to God with it. You know, it's, it's as if he had something to do with pointing out whether something was wrong. Now there's, there's the, the thing is, is that you have to, as a, as a, as a believer, you have a responsibility to make sure people are understanding what God has laid out. He's put a Bible there. It's okay to remind them, but you're, you are not the judgment seat, right? Right. It's God's to judge. It's yours to, to identify, help clarify if you can't and pray. Right. And make sure, make sure, you know, all the stuff that she's talking about, you know, the anti-gay, anti-feminist, anti-whatever, you know, make, make sure that, that, that yeah, yeah, we're against the sin, you know, but we, we love gay people, you know, we love feminists, you know, we're better than them. No, no. We're good because God said, don't do that. Well, yeah. And it's the, and, and, and, and it really is none of our business to, to, to judge somebody. It is to inform them what the Lord says about it if they don't know, you know, but, but I think that's, I think that's where, you know, that, that people get discolored about these kinds of things is, is, is, is maybe the, the, you know, the churches, the whole sometimes loses, loses sight that, that, that, you know, that, that maybe it does not support homosexuality, but I mean, we still love the people. We still love feminists, you know what? And, and, and, and I lose that thought. Feminism is not anti-bi, like, I mean, like there's just, they're, they're also construing, like, I refuse to be anti-democrat, I, you know, it's a fiscal disagree, like, I don't

understand, like, it's not. Well, but then again, well, but then again, I mean, I mean, how many churches do you go to? You know what I'm saying? Like, you know the reality for your church or the last three churches you've been to, but, I mean, I mean, who's to say, I mean, you know, maybe, maybe the last church she went to been severely Republican and then they don't leave much wiggle room. Well, and so that's the thing is I think it's, it's foolish to look at a statement like this and not recognize some genuine concern from someone who wants to follow Christ and is finding that it's incompatible with their worldview. The question is, is, are your views incompatible with what Christ has laid out or are your views incompatible with a church that is not following Christ? I mean, if you, it's where you're putting your standard. You know, if you have a disagreement with a church, if the church is in agreement with the Bible, you have an issue, right? If the church is not in agreement with the Bible, you're fighting the wind. Why bother? Move on. Find, you know, find a body of believers that is following the word. There's a reason, you know, the Bible is the blank slate, is where you get to go for a reference, you know, and you're always going to find, there's always going to be people who don't look at it correctly. There's always going to be people who twist it to put it the way they want it to. There's always the people who are going to seek that, the function of the church for power, for gain, for standing, right? It's always going to be that way. You have a filter. You have a, you know, a blessed word of God as a filter to figure out whether this is something that you rage against or whether it's something that you, you know, you acknowledge is not

being biblically consistent. But I mean, the thing is, is like, she's painted with a very broad brush here that is detrimental to the bride of Christ. You know, you, I'm, I'm, I'm out as a, as a, as a Christian, as a, as a, you know, from the Christian church, you know, that is a broad brush. And you're specifically pointing out, you know, uh, what Jesus has described as his bride and saying, I'm walking away from this. And you, you have to know from a, I want to follow God. I want to follow Jesus. It's not biblically consistent and it's, it's a dangerous frame of mind. Yeah. So I don't know. I don't like it's straight, this, whatever, this, this particular thing played out like mad fire on, on your, your Christian radio and your, you know, and that kind of stuff. But like what, what hit me is, is, is one recognizing that, um, you know, there's, there's got, there's something to this. People can easily get disenfranchised, um, with a body of believers if it's not biblically consistent. And I think we can recognize that. Sure. Well, that's true. And maybe, you know, keep an eye out to, uh, cause I'm, I mean, there's a lot of people that, that, that heard this statement and go, yeah, you're right. We don't need this. We don't need this. We don't need all these things that they're promoting. I just need Jesus, you know? And, and, and like I said, you know, I mean, it starts taking people with her on this train of thought, you know, it starts to be, it become hip to disassociate yourself with the

church because of the things that are unhip in today's world to be associated with and just say me and God have a relationship. You know, that's, that's all I need. You know, why would I need all these people? You know? And like I said, that's that it starts to be a little bit dangerous because if you have this, you know, a great close relationship with Christ and, and, and, you know, I've, I've done some looking into what the Lord wants out of you, you know, that that is not, it's not an option for you. Well, yeah, if you're truly in relationship with, with Christ, you're, you can't help but be connected to his body. I mean, so usually that's just something lying. People say, well, I'm with Jesus. We're good. You know, so no, you're not. I mean, you're not. I mean, well, I mean, he, he, he all over the place in there about how, about your connection with other believers. I mean, Jesus is very clear, um, about his church and yeah, I mean, it's, it's, it's, you can't, um, it's actually, it's a weird pendulum, right? Because like for the, for the longest time, um, and there's, there's a lot of, I'll actually I'll show one of these here in a minute. There's a, there's a lot of funny stuff out there about the, uh, the quote, the quote Christian, the, uh, the rule follower, like the guy who's, you know, tied down by God's rules, the guy who's, you know, uh, wears it has to wear a suit to church. Otherwise he's a, you know, he's a demon, like, you know, like, and then he wasn't prepared. And I think you still have that where, uh, and there's nothing wrong, for example, for like wearing whatever you want to church, but it's, it's the, if you're putting that

above your, your relationship with God, that's, that's right. If you want to wear a suit, wear a suit, but you know, if that defines your relationship, right. God loves you any less if you, you know, depending on how, how good you look today. I used to go to that church. I mean, I know that. Yeah. What did you tell me still about, uh, it was the music. I couldn't believe it that, uh, that, uh, even, even as recently as when you were younger, there's, there's, I guess it's still going on places where like the, the types of music that they're allowed, that they'll allow in church. I just, it surprises me. Well, Jared, our, our, our worship leader was fired because, you know, he. Well, from a different church. From a different, yeah. Well, we fired him. He didn't, sorry, Jared, if you're long, um, you'll find out, you'll get the mail tomorrow. Little pink slip. No, but I mean, you know, he wore the wrong clothes and didn't play the right music, you know, and I know in his church, someone had went out and bought him, I think it's like five Armini or whatever, Armani, whatever those are, expensive suits because you probably, you obviously just can't afford it. So they bought him a bunch of suits. Yeah. And he's like, what do you do with that? I mean. Did he keep the suit? Oh, yeah. I'm relatively close to his size.

Did you see what he wore at Sean's funeral? Actually, I wore a Jared suit at Sean's funeral. No, I didn't. No, I've been in it afterwards for some presentation thing. Well, I'd like one of these suits. I think I have like one suit that even, I just don't wear it. I don't know if I mean. No, you kind of look ridiculous all dressed up. I don't know why. Kind of like a monkey. I don't know why. I remember, oh, I met my, my, my, uh, Cheryl's grandfather mad at me once because I said, I'm going to put my monkey suit on. That's back when I was at a church. I wore suits. And I made some comment. He was a Southern Baptist. I see. And he, I, you know, I made some comment. I was headed off to church that Sunday morning before they left, you know, and I'm going to put my monkey suit on. Go, go play preacher, you know? And he was just like, oh, that offended him. Oh, really? I was like, sorry. You know, you know what I don't understand? There, there can't be more than one first Baptist church. Not everyone can have the first one. And everyone claims to be the first, like we're the first Baptist church of something.

First church of Christ. Yeah. We're the first church. No, you're not the first church of Christ. That's not true at all. There are 27,000 other ones. I mean, do you have to, do you have to do any kind of fact checking here before you name your church? I bet there's something deeper to that than, than what we know. What do you mean? I don't know. I mean, I'm just saying. Did you, did you check to see whether anybody else had the pathway church as the name before you started? Yeah. We had a whole list of names. We were coming up with names. We were trying to come up with something completely generic that didn't have baggage with it. You know, because when you say Baptist, something comes to mind. You say whatever, you know, because we're not Baptist, but whatever name you say, there's baggage with it. So we wanted to come up with something that meant nothing to anyone that we could, because I don't want to, I've spent 20 years telling people what we're not. Right. Because, because of all the baggage. And I just want to tell people who Jesus is. That's all that really matters. We should have been the first church of Oosk. Yeah, we're Oosk.

We're Oosk. We surprise you. We should be. We catch you off guard. Jesus gets you in the armpits. We should see you in worship. We're Oosk, yeah. Surprise! And, yeah, so we have all kinds of names on the board and keep up with all these combinations of different things. Wait, what were some of the ones, so Pathway is the name of the church. What was some of the ones that didn't make it? Do you remember? Yeah. Well, Danielle happened to be walking down the stairs and looked up at the whiteboard and, like, took two different parts of two different names and threw them together and said, just call it Pathway. And we're all like, was it you? You put it together? Yeah. There's like, I don't know, 15, I don't know how many of us were in there. There's like Gateway, I think, and there's something. Gateway, Road, Crossroads. And there's like 40,000 Crossroads out there. I'm glad you didn't pick either one of those. Those were too heavy. I don't like churches with heavy names. Crossroads is real heavy. Jesus, Juice.

I don't know if it was Crossroads. I can't remember. Well, that was like the first thought. That was like, they were everywhere. Like, oh, we can't do that one. It's like naming your church decision town or something. The hip church. On your knees. Gut check. You know, I don't know. That stuff seems just real. We want your cash. We didn't think that would apply. We don't care about you. We want your money. First church or the first church. You ever seen the second church or something? Yeah. Yeah. Really? Like a pella. It has like second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth. I mean, you start driving around there. You're like, what? I mean, it's kind of funny. I can't keep track of these denominations. Like the people that have reformed and not reformed. We try to tell people what we are. I don't know.

You open the Bible. You read it and you do it. How about that? That's what we'll call ourselves. I'm a traditional Lutheranist. I'm a Lord Salvationist. I can't. Like, I honestly have no idea what the difference is between most denominations of Christianity. I know some, but I try not to. I just try not to play the game. I mean, why would you even want to know that? To what purpose? I mean, like, is there like a handbook that says, look, to be a non-traditional Seventh-day Lutheranist, you have to do these things. This is the book. Like, is there another book that outlines the guidelines? Each one has their own. We need to get a copy of these. Yeah. Welcome to the church. Here's your snake. Here's your oil. That's what people are like surprised. He's like, no, we really, we don't, we honestly don't, there's nobody outside of what you see, a pathway that tells us what to do or what to think or what to believe. Are you going to go get him? Let's just peel the Bible. There's no other thing. What's he supposed to say to the man? Hey, man, what's up?

Hey, you're creepy. That's, that's. Would you like to talk on a real show? He'll pull something out and stab you. What if we become friends with him and he goes back and listens to the archive shows and we keep talking to him? If he shivs me in the hallway, I will be very upset. You haven't seen his toenails. I don't think he's going to shiv you. Did you even see his feet? You chase him down. He'll think you're creepy. They'll call security. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Maybe they'll arrest me. As a matter of fact, I'll call security. That'd be kind of fun to watch. You're going to set me up? You set me up to a crazy man and you're going to call security on me? We need a jail ministry. How else do we do this? I'm pretty sure I'm not the guy to send to this jail ministry. All right. Well, you guys are cool. When Mike tries to decide whether he's going to actually hunt down this fellow or not, please enjoy the following video. You'll be listening to Live from the Path on Des MoinesAmplified.com. Whoosh. Whoosh. I can't remember it.

Hello, I'm a Christ follower. And I'm a Christian. What you got there? Oh, just catching up on some reading. Got some rule books, ethics manuals, and a morality player, too, just for good measure. That's a lot of reading. Yeah, and right on top, I've got my trusty sword. King James Version. Neatly packaged inside this leather bag. I like the handles. Oh, they're handy. Do you want to see my bumper sticker collection? Sure. I ran out of room on my car. Wow. Uh, those are clever. Thanks. So what do you wear to display your Christianity? Well, nothing, I guess. I don't know. I just try to follow Christ in the way I live my life. I don't feel like I have to wear my heart on my sleeve, as it were. I have to wear my heart on my sleeve, as it were. Are you mocking me? Are you mocking me? Cut it out. Cut it out. I'm a big dork. I'm a big dork.

Oh. Oh, I'm a Christ follower. And I'm a Christian. Uh, whatcha doing there? Just getting ready for church. I've got my suit on, shirt pressed, shoes shined, and, uh, WWJD. Yeah, I've got my offering envelope in the front pocket here, so everyone can see it. I can see it, all right. I am ready to go. Yeah, well, you look spiffy. Is that what you are wearing to church? Well, yeah. I'm actually heading there right now. What, is there something wrong with what I'm wearing? Do you think Jesus would want you to wear that in his house of worship? Don't you think you should wear your Sunday best? But today's Saturday. I knew that. Do you really think Jesus would worship on a Saturday? Actually, yeah, he… Hello, I'm a Christ follower. And I'm a Christian. Oh, hey, iPod. Nice. It's actually a J-Pod. It's actually a J-Pod. It only plays songs that talk about Jesus. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty sweet. It comes with 77 gig of Christian music preloaded.

It's safe for the whole family. And lots of great genres, like contemporary Christian music, contemporary Christian light, easy listening contemporary Christian R&B, contemporary Christian country and western, and my new favorite, contemporary Christian rap. Because I am down with the JC. Yeah, you know me. Wow, that's quite a collection of, uh, gigs. I don't know, I guess I just, I don't feel like I have to listen to Christian music all the time to be a follower of Jesus. You mean you don't believe in Christian music? Of course I believe in Christian music. I even have some of that stuff on my iPod. Oh, well, what are you listening to these days? Well, lately I've been listening to a lot of you too. Oh, you too. Yeah, me too. Couldn't. You probably have called him in the bathroom. I get it. You can listen to Live from the Path on, oh, thank you very much. You can listen to Live from the Path on Des Moines Amplified.com. I don't know, I thought those were pretty funny. Those are good. I thought those guys were pretty funny.

And you said you've met those dudes? I know those guys. I met with the leadership. That's at Naperville. Community Christian Church in Naperville, Illinois, suburb of Chicago. And the guy on the left, the nerd guy, is their creative arts pastor, the lead guy. He has a degree in theater. He's hilarious. I mean, he is just this guy that's just hilarious. It's a pretty cool church out there. Our church is really modeled after theirs, being the multi-site thing. I have, I mean, I met with their leaders on several occasions, and our ultimate goal is doing what they're doing. So it's, yeah. So we'd be the second church of Naperville? We'll be Community 2 Christian Church. Do we have a time capsule? What do you mean? We will tomorrow. What do you mean? I don't know. Time capsule. We'll get one. I like that you've agreed to it. Like you put stuff from the first service in.

Do we have a giant TV? What, like communion from the first service in the place? This was the bread. People do that. We're going to get busted in by some kind of wino who wants this aged communion use. I'm ready. I'm back. They're exhuming it. You mean, like, do we have, like, a history? Yeah, I don't know. Daniel, it's just a lead-in question. If the answer's no, I guess it's yeah. I mean, a time capsule would be like, do we have stuff set aside, buried somewhere that we're going to open in 50 years? You know, forget it, Daniel. I don't, we're done. I don't even like your question. Well, good. Don't answer it. That would be kind of fun, though. Apparently not. It's the worst idea ever. We'll put in the eight tracks of our first sermon. You're going to ruin the time capsule. You can put in the first bulletin. A picture of everyone that attended the first service. I don't know.

We have a church directory, pictorial directory that we did, I don't know, five years ago or something. And we were looking at that. And it was the other day, Cheryl saw it. It's like, oh, look at this. I mean, the whole thing, you can open up on one page. I mean, you know, two pages, but one open page. And every family could be on that. And, you know, half of them have, like, either moved or… Got upset with you. Got upset with me because I don't wear a suit. Refused to do a time capsule. Exactly. Jesus wants everything recorded. So it was really kind of freaky to go through and look at the people who are here and who aren't and, you know, and how much people have changed. So was I in there? No. You weren't going to the church five years ago. Pretty close. No. Whatever. I was outside. Can I see your time capsule? You weren't wearing the appropriate clothing. Go away, sir. We won't let you in. I'm done with you.

I'm tired of you being anti-time capsule. I'll never attend church again. Darn Christians. Dear. Get the strap. Man. I don't know. Why do you want a time capsule? Like, why? Why does that put in your head? It was just a question. Grandpa had one, and I thought, I wonder if we have one. The answer's no. Noted. There's no need to drag it out. I don't want one. I don't have a committee started. We have on the inside. You could say it's kind of a time capsule. I don't want to talk about it. No. You've got this going now. See, on the inside walls, when we tore all the walls out of our ministry center, and we had drywall, we had people spend a couple, three days, and go in before we put the drywall up and wrote down prayers and scriptures and whatever on the backside of the… Of full sheets? Full sheets of drywall. So, in our office, ministry center, someday, when a tornado comes or we knock it down, whatever, you'll still be able to read those.

And then when we put them up, the sheets of drywall, they came and wrote them on the outside as well, but we painted over them, of course, because, you know, it's painted. Well, now, let me ask you this. If you had to make a cut in the drywall, how did you decide whose corner to cut out? Did you look for most pro-Jesus propaganda? Okay, would you believe I'm just weird enough that I actually selected pieces when I was drywalling that I wouldn't have to cut out people's stuff? Oh. Because I thought someone took the time and the care. That you won't do it? I was wondering why it cost us $10,000 to drywall a 900 square foot space. Why does it take an extra six months? Was there anybody that was, like, real frivolous, like, dear Lord, give me some knee-high socks? And, like, you cut that one out? You know, I didn't happen to hit any of those. Other people might have. You know, we had a lot of people working on it. Okay. So. Well, I didn't get to do that. Was it when I was gone? You were still in the school. You probably didn't care. You were like, whatever. I'm a show player. That is nonsense. Yeah, my dad's having some kind of rite of prayer on a piece of drywall party. That's stupid. I don't really want to go.

I have pictures of Shanna drilling drywall into the walls. So where were you? Probably sharing the Lord with other people on the streets. Out and about in the mission field. Zweek! Zweek! Zweek! What is it? It's gotcha. Now I'm listening. It's Oosk. Oosk. Oosk. O-O-S-K. Oosk. I'm going to write this down. Oosk. Yes. What's the symbol for oosk? Is it like, you better put an exclamation point ever. Oosk. Definitely. It's kind of a question mark. Oosk. Okay, so hold on. It's like a surprise. It kind of sounds like you're going in for an enema. They didn't tell you it was coming. So just to reiterate.

It's a surprise attack. It's when you've got your arms up like this deal, and someone comes up and gives you a pokesy. Now, is it like a cup in like this, or is it like a poke right up in the deal? Like, poke. Oh, man. Two fingers? You should have Oosk the creepy guy. Oh, yeah. That's going to do well. And then run. Oosk. It's going to fall off, and garlic is going to spill out. We need a guy to do these things, because I don't know where your willingness to get me in the chair has done so far, but you guys seem to keep trying to put me in situations where I either have to physically touch the creepy man, or be arrested. We need Matt Cassidy for that. Yeah, Matt on the street. He would do it. Perfect. Yeah. Absolutely. He is the man for the job. Absolutely. Okay, someone's coming. He's walking too fast to be a creepy guy. I can see the reflections, though. Well, he is trucking it, though. I just can't see anything.

He's got a cooler. He's grinning. Sure. Oosk. Oosk. Oosk. Hey, could you look at that? I feel like certain that can count as assault. He kind of looked like, how did those guys look at me? How did they know I was coming? How did you get those dots on there? That's cool. What happened? I don't know. The computer docking. He can do those German dots on the top. He works magic on computers. What are the dots they're supposed to see if I… What do you think of this shirt? Why? My woman bought it. I don't like it. I think it's all right. Okay. You look like it's looking in some kind of wool sweater underneath. Yeah, you got something underneath that looks good. What, am I supposed to wear it open? Can someone… What is DSV?

DSV. Say you're afraid. I wore… Say I wore an undershirt because I'm afraid of DSV. What is that? Someone made a comment of that earlier and I didn't get a chance to talk about it. Dry socket. I thought it had to do with chest hair. DSV. DSV. I'm going to write that down for my crack… What's that deal? What's the DSV business? I don't remember. Who wrote this? Hold on. See if I can still find it. It would help if we know the person. Yeah, yeah. You both got a shirt and you both wear a shirt underneath for fear of… Oh, sorry. DVS. Oh, that changes everything. Oh, DVS. Flip it around. Stamp it. DVS. Dude. Disciples.

Victory. Savior. No. Really? No. Is that someone calling you? Hey, call the radio station. Whoever you are. 327-1007. Oh, Mike's busy right now. He's got a… Troy. What's up? Mike's got a little personal life issues going on right now. Troy, we're doing the radio show. Can I have you give me a call? Call me on the radio line. We'll talk about it. 327-1007. It's 327-1007. Call me directly. Are we going to start doing Jesus counseling? You're going to call… We're going to talk about it. 327-1007. Yeah. Give us the buzz. I need something better. Go ahead and call it.

Okay. Yeah, you got to… Before you go to Texas, Tennessee, Kentucky, where do you live? Before you go to Kentucky, you got to sing us some jingles. Sing us a jingle before he calls in. Oh, he's calling. Man, say by the bell. What? Live from the path. Troy. Hey, Troy. Troy. Troy. I have a question for you. Because I know you're technically inclined when it comes to cars. Okay, go ahead. So, I got in our van and started the car and went to back out. Power steering is completely gone. Okay. Not turning at all. I'm with you. And then the engine heat… It's your belt. …the thermometer came on, the light, because the engine was overheating, so I turned off the car. Okay. And it's leaking… Serpentine belt. Daniel, be quiet.

Let him finish the story. I'm a professional radio guy. Be quiet. I'm sorry, Troy. I appreciate you sharing your story, buddy. Go ahead. We'll pray for you. So, it's leaking fluid, and I can't figure out where it's from. Is it green? I can't really tell the color. Don't lick it. I think so. It will kill you. Is it hot? Like, really hot? No, it's not really hot as of right now. It's not… The engine's been off for a while. Okay. Did you have a look at the engine already? Yeah, I'm looking at the engine. I'm actually laying on the ground underneath the car. Do you see a belt hanging down? Yeah. Is the belt on tight? Like, feels nice and secure? Not broken out? Yeah, the belt. You'll see a rubber belt hanging down.

You know what you need to do is actually get out from under the van and walk around it three times. Then you need to jump on the hood. You have to lick each window. Yep. Yep, that'll help. I can't really see it. Okay, so here's most likely what's happened, Troy, if I had to make a guess. So if your power steering's not working, you have a loss of power in general, or your car's overheating, or two of those things happen at the same time, then your belt's not turning your power steering pump and your water pump to cool your car down. Okay. Don't drive it. Now, the question is, the belt is most likely broken, if I had to guess. The question is, what caused the belt to break? Is it because your water pump seized up and then it just rubbed on it and that broke the belt? Like, you can't just replace the belt. You've got to figure out what part of it caused the belt to break in the first place, or it was just an old, stinky belt. They do get old and stinky. Yeah. Yeah. What year of the van did you say it was? What year's the van, Troy? An O2. O2. O2 Ford Chevy. It's a Dodge or it's a Chrysler. Chrysler. Minivan? Or, excuse me, Dodge Caravan. My bad. Yeah, Minivan.

Okay. All right. So these belts are easily changed with a 3-8 socket wrench. Well, I shouldn't say easily. It's kind of a tight squeeze, but you can pick up a belt at your local auto parts store for around, you know, it's usually $20, $25. And then there's always a slot to fit the 3-8 ratchet square head into, you know, the tensioner. There it is again. And you'll see it, and you can push up on it, and you'll get the old belt off and put the new belt on. You're not in the straights anywhere, are you? You're not stranded in the middle of nowhere? No, it's just we've got to be to work tomorrow morning. And is that your only car? Yeah, that's our only car. And Monte Carlo, the starter went out, and the brakes entirely went out in my car. Okay, Troy, so here's what's going to happen. I'm going to give you a call here in just a little bit, and if need be, we can attempt to roast up the green van for you to use in the meantime. Dude, seriously, this time I have my license. Yeah. The last time he got the van, he got it impounded. Okay, yep, I'll say that right now. The last time it happened, I had my license removed because I didn't realize it. I didn't know at the time. We'd been changing addresses a lot, so I didn't get the mail saying that I had lost it. And I got pulled over because the van didn't have the front of the back license plate on. So I got pulled over and then got impounded because I didn't have a license. Wow. Yeah, he didn't say that with enough. Like, if I were going to tell the story, I would say, so he was driving around and got pulled over, and then he got the van impounded because he was driving without a license. Well, to my goodness, I actually had the van out the next day and paid for it.

To your goodness, you put yourself in the situation. It was a real pain getting that van out of there. Okay, I didn't know I was in the situation, thank you very much, or I wouldn't have been driving the first one. You're like a homeless man saying, I really helped that guy out by making his wallet lighter, by taking money from him. Oh, wow. Picking that burden off of him. Hey, Troy, I would really like to thank you for calling into the show, buddy, and sharing your problems with us. Yeah, absolutely, man. Yeah, Kevin says you can give him a call. He has a car you can use. Kevin Fuller also may have a car for you to borrow. Do we need two cars, or is one going to do it? I can talk to Trey and Ann. I don't think we'd need two cars for right now, but if it's not that big of a deal. Okay. Okay. I'll give you a call here in a little bit, Troy. All right, thanks, man. I really appreciate it. Thanks, everybody. Yep, take it easy. This would be a good time for anyone else with mechanical issues, fashion advice, dating advice. Yeah, we really need to do just a call-in helpline. Once again, that number is 327-1007. That's area code 515-327-1007 to get you straight to the Live from the Path control room where we can help you with everyday garden tips, your cleaning needs, financial advice. Oh, yeah. A stock market. Okay, so the DVS is a deep V-neck syndrome. It's from one of the John Acuff blog.

I thought it was a cuff. I think, oh, yeah, a cuff, yeah. A cuff. Yeah. Anyway. I don't do it. I don't show a lot of… I do. I always wear an undershirt. I don't wear a single layer ever. I'm always double. I always double it up. Yeah. What if it's, like, 300 degrees outside? You still wear two? Well, I'd say the… I double it up. I'd say the Lord's Redemption is at hand. 300 degrees is outrageous. Time to wrap her up. Computer Doc, I would go on that Speedo collection. I would go with an Argyle. Oh, no. It's classic. Ooh. Let me be clear. We will not be answering any questions without you physically calling in. Oh. We're trying to try out the phone system.

Don't promote them trying to avoid it, Ben. I would not go with… Shoot. Now I can't take it back without giving more advice. Okay. Go ahead this one time. Why don't you just… I'm not talking anymore. We're on the outs. Get him. Why don't you shut your mouth? Open it. We want him to use the phone, Ben. Sorry. Please dial us. I believe we have medical advice, too. Anything, you know. Sure. I can help herbs and… How to appropriately remove the dry skin from your feet. Yeah. Exactly. I think that petty egg can be used… Petty egg. Can it give you a haircut as well? Like how many follicles down do you have to go before it starts taking your hair well? That's when you start with the vacuum thing that cuts the hair and then you get down to the egg. Yeah.

We should do one of those live on the air. You guys ever been accosted by that Israeli that does the fingernails at the mall? Oh, we did in Ohio. Now listen here. The lotion stuff? It's secret. It's S-E-A-C-R-E-T. It's from the Dead Sea. Yeah. I mean, it shines them up. It really does. I mean, I did use it a couple times. Like the woman got it and I… Did you use that with your Foo-Foo? I polished it, yep. I did. I was impressed by how it shines up. It makes your… What do you mean you used it a couple times? It makes your fingernails shiny. What do you mean? Why? What do you mean why? Why? It looks nice. Yeah, but tell me the situation that occurred that you decided, hey, a secret. After he used his… What is that called again? Loofah.

Loofah. Yeah. Yeah, the loofah. I would use it. I don't even know where it is. I like to stick my finger in the nail polish remover sponge. You ever seen that thing? You know, it's like the can… It's like the… Oh, it looks like an Oxy… Oxy-10 can. And when you want to get the fingernail polish off, you put your… The Oxy-10. Do they even do that anymore? Oxy-10? What is Oxy-10? It's an acne medicine. That was an acne medicine, like, back in the Stone Age, wasn't it? Oh. Do you ever heard of it? I haven't heard of it. But you don't have acne. Do you have what? I think I've heard of it, but I haven't seen it, so I don't really know what you're talking about. See? It's probably Oxy-23 now. You know, I would hate to be a teenage child, or anybody, in that fact, with acne nowadays, because, like, man, there's so many options out there, and they're really expensive.

Like, they… Yeah. You know, I don't know. You ever seen that commercial where they got some kind of slick-looking Dawson's Creek-type child sitting in the hallway of the store, like, waiting for the new acne medicine shipment to come in? They're like, hey, man, what you doing in here? Oh, yeah. I'm waiting for the new acne medicine. You know, I was like, man. And then he looks pretty good after he gets rid of the acne. Yeah. I hate to say it, but acne is very unbecoming. Yeah. And he cleans it right up, and, man, he's shiny. Yeah. What? I don't know. Do you like acne? I think it's all right. People are how they are, you know? I've had it. I remember having this little orange stuff you put on your face, and you'd peel it off. I don't know if it worked, but I just… Was it a face mask? Yeah, was it? I don't know. It was some acne thing back when… I don't know why the church is so anti-acne.

I'm out of here. Why are you guys so hateful? We don't like acne. I don't need you guys. I'm leaving this place. You know, the whole hate the sin, love the sinner thing, it really goes back to… I was going to mention that a long time ago. It goes back to just like we were talking about with our children. You know, if you see your child reaching toward the hot stove, do you sit there and say, well, maybe she just likes hot stoves, and let them do it, knowing it's going to burn and fry their hands, or do you, you know, say, hey, that's going to kill you. What's more loving? I think that's true to a point, I guess. Like, I would agree with that if you truly had love behind it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You know, because I could just as easily see, like, I know that I can look at my child and think exactly that. Like, I don't want to see this happen to you. You know what I'm saying? But if I see, I don't know, a complete stranger looking to touch a hot stove, you know, I would just yell at him on principle to not touch the hot stove. Exactly. I don't necessarily love that guy. I just… Well, but there's something about you don't want to see him get hurt. No. You don't have to, like, have an intimate, deep relationship with the guy. You're just like, dude, that's going to hurt.

You got to preface it. I love you, man. Don't touch that stove. You're all right. You've got a couple flaws, I guess, but… I mean, that's where we get misunderstood. Sometimes we get so passionate that people think, oh, you're just hateful and bigoted. It's like, no, we really don't want you to burn. Well, okay, so tell me how, I mean, how are they not conveying that correctly? Like, do you think the perception is wrong or do you think the product we're selling is wrong? If you don't want to hear it, then you misunderstand it because you look at it as you're being judgmental, you're being all mean-spirited, blah, blah, blah, because you're telling me to change me and be just like you. I don't care if anybody's like me. Nobody wants to be like me. I mean, that's a little creepy if people are like me. Double hit. Here, here. We want people to not go to hell. And sometimes we get a little excited about it, maybe, and we get misunderstood as being hateful. And actually, it's the most loving, total loving thing you can do. If some dude's on drugs and they're thinking, I can fly, and they're about to jump off a building, you just say, well, let's just see if he really can fly. Well, you know he can't fly. You know, so how far will you go to keep him from jumping? Is there a situation where, I guess, maybe what I'm getting at, I guess, is does the end justify the means?

Like, to get your message across. See, I don't know how I want to say that. I guess I would say that I could even perceive that sometimes I feel that the church is not welcoming, doesn't provide a welcome environment for someone to change their life. Sometimes I think that's true. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, they try to force feed the change. Like, you know, you take the one thing that someone, I mean, if you're not walking with Christ, sin defines your life. You know what I'm saying? That is your life. You know, and so… It's one pleasure to the next. Right, yeah. I mean, it doesn't have to be wonton, Sodom and Gomorrah type. You know, it's not crazy cartoon stuff. But, I mean, it's not… You're living a selfish existence, and most likely you're living it from sin to sin to sin to sin. Right. So, you know, when the church as a body comes out, or specific factions of the church come out and point at everything you stand for right now and say, you are so bleeping wrong. You have no idea. Everything about you is terrible. Terrible. You're a terrible person. A terrible person. People shut you down directly. Right.

You know what I'm saying? And they don't say, look, I see the life that you're living. It doesn't have to be that way. There's room for you in God's love. You know what I'm saying? It's because they're not hearing what we're really saying. Well, how are you saying it? Are you being… That's coming across as judgmental. Like, you're a terrible person because you do this, this, and that. I mean, there's some people who do say it that way. They do say, you're just a terrible person. Yeah. And they should be slapped. Jesus wasn't hanging on the cross dying and saying, you're a bunch of terrible people. I mean, he's saying, I love you. Yeah. They know not what they do. You know? They don't understand God. That's what I'm doing here. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that may be… It's out of love. You know, and actually, I kind of like that. But that'd be a great tact to take through life of people that you walk around and just think that they know not what they do. They don't know what they're doing.

They're lost sheep. They don't know what they're into, you know? They're just doing what they've been fed. Exactly. That's all they know. Yeah. And then they've also been fed to hate Christians. Right. And they've been fed to reject your advances with Christ. I mean, it's not… Once again, we talked about, you know, if by the age of even 15, you know, if you don't know Christ, it ain't because you ain't heard of them, you know? I mean, it's because you either have a misconception of them or you don't want anything to do with it because you don't want… You got some pride issues. Yeah. Or I mean, there are creepy guys. I remember when I… A hundred years ago, there was a place called Sorenson's on the east side. He's 14th and it was a gym. I used to go work at it there, okay? And I'm in college and I'm working out and there's this creepy little guy. He's probably 98 pounds going around to all the guys who are lifting some pretty heavy weights and just in their face saying, you're going to burn. You're going to go to hell. You better repent, you know? And who's going to listen to that? I mean, I wanted to go slap the guy and he was right, but no one's going to listen to that.

Right. I mean, he totally turned me off. I just wanted to throw up. I'm like, man, I'm sorry, God. You know, I'm sorry. I probably should have, out of love, tackled the guy and say, just shut up. Just be quiet. I don't know who elected you as a representative, but I'm revoking your privileges for the day. Have a seat. You're out. That only works when you're, how old was I? Seven. That's right. Were you turning and burning people? I mean. Well, I don't really remember it very well. I had a friend I would go. Was it a daycare? It was a preschool. Okay. We would play whatever house or something, but I guess we were talking one time. You'll see the devil. You're going to go to the devil. If you don't change this, you're going to go to the devil. Or if you keep doing that, you're going to go to the devil. So her mom calls up, Cheryl, my daughter is sleeping with me and she can't sleep at night and she's frightened. And part of me, I'm going like, God damn, yeah. She should be frightened because she is going to burn. My presentation was off.

Yeah, the presentation. Take that small child. The one the Lord refers to as innocent. You're going to go to the devil. But I was doing it out of love, though. So. I mean, you did. You were concerned. I remember you were heartbreaking. You almost make it sound like the devil is the principal's office, you know? You go in there, he's wearing a suit, he's all hot and whatever. Well, Sarah, bad news. You'll go to the devil. It's not going to end well with you. You think life stinks now, man? Just wait. Hey, so what do we got on tap for next week, Ben? Special guests? Segments? New topics? I don't know. Scenery changes? I haven't thought that far ahead. New shirt? I'm thinking about a new shirt. I don't know about a scenery change. I'm still, we're still working on some different lighting so I don't appear so bald. Check this out. Hold on.

Look at this deal. Hold on. It's coming. Look at that deal. Like a mega bald in this thing. It looks like a cat accidentally backed into a house fan. You need to comb it all to one direction. I might look terrible. Make it a comb over. I'm very fortunate I found the lady in my life before I started to look like this. We need that Clint Howard picture again. Yeah. It's coming back. I don't think I have it up here. You take that hat off, it adds 10 years. Yeah. I look terrible. Actually, there was somebody at work, they were talking about trying to guess how old I was. And I tend to come off slightly older than I actually am. Because of your giant words. Yeah. Whatever. So anyway. Apropos. So we go. It's like a pendulum. You must be about 45. That's a big word. So the guess was 38.

That is 10 years my senior. Oh man. Right. That was the normal guess was about 38 years old. I'm two years shy of 40 the way I look and talk. You're almost getting a walker with tennis balls on us. I thought to myself, what have I done with my life? Hey. You know, I have a question for you. I'd make a better decision. Why do they put them tennis balls on there? So they slide around? Yeah. Why don't they just make them that way? Yeah, I don't know. You know what I'm saying? Why does everyone in the free world have to cut up a tennis ball and put them on these things? Why can't they just put like a. True. It's a racket. A scoot type operation already on there. They're in cahoots with the tennis ball people. Could be. Well, tennis balls are pretty cheap. Oh, that could be something we invent, right? Or you never knew you needed this, but. Yeah. That's true. Because, I mean, the baby boomer generation, they're getting to that age.

It's just going to keep getting bigger. Well, so. Hmm. So is there money in this? I think if we do it right. Then you can oosk people better because they don't even hear you coming. Oosk. You're going to hear you. We'll call it the ooski. Oosk, an elderly man who's on a walker. She said they couldn't hear you coming, so I think she's planning on using this glide walker to sneak up on. As it means to set up some blue hairs and get them out of the armpit. Well, how about if we get the oosker and it's just a stick with a finger on it that goes. And they won't know who oosked them. I'm definitely not buying a stick with fingers on the end. I totally agree. Yeah. That's freaky. My ideas never work. I can only. Some guy, you know, digging his ear with it and stuff. My oosker. That's like a back scratcher. Yeah, exactly. Edmund. I don't know why he talks like that. He's holding the dog's tongue with it from three feet away.

The dog totally deserves it. I mean, seriously, quit barking. I'm mad. Waking up the kids and stuff. Why don't you ice and eat foam in the doghouse? The dog, they won't go in the doghouse. Do they have one? They'll just sit at the door and scratch. Do you have one? We did and they never use it. Yeah, right. When we moved into it. You didn't give them a chance. It probably smelled because something happened in there and then they wouldn't use it and then you just thought, well, they won't use the doghouse anymore. Then you threw it out. Now they don't have a home. And now they're sitting out in the rain and want to know what happened. So they're just sad they don't have a home. Yeah, really. That's why. I see. No one barks all the time. I leave the shit open. Give me a home. Give me a home. Let me live with the more. Help me. Do they go in that shit?

No. You should ice and eat foam that shit. Why? Because it's soundproof. Why do you want to foam a bunch of stuff? You seen that ice and eat foam, that spray foam insulation stuff? Oh, that's cool. They spray it and expand and blah, blah, blah. It's soundproof stuff. Yeah. Well, okay. All right. I could get on board with building something for those dogs and then soundproofing it so I didn't have to listen to it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. There's an idea. Or put them in the neighbor's yard while they're screaming. True. Whatever. I do what I want. Whatever. Whatever. You're not the boss of me. Well, thanks for listening. If you want to listen to Live from the Path on Des Moines Amplified.com, we really appreciate you being here tonight. Again, you can catch us during the week on livefromthepath.org.

There you can get to our blog. You can sign up for the podcast. Catch our YouTube channel. And we'd love to have you kind of interact with us that way. You can also send us an email at info at livefromthepath.org. But also, next week, like I said, actually, I don't have anything planned. I'm going to tell you what we're going to do. We're going to call in. We're going to do some calls. We're going to get some phone calls next week, definitely. Give us a buzz. It's 327-1007. Yeah. 327-1007. And here's what's going to happen. We're going to open up the phone lines. And then we're just going to sit patiently and wait for the calls to come on in. It's all new. So, you know, I'd prepare something. Even if it's just a short anecdote or, you know, what you got your mom for Mother's Day or when's the last time you wore those Harlem Globetrotter-style socks. All the information that Merrick wants to know. You know, we can do, we did this about a month back. We did a Q&A. So, if you have any questions, you'd be just interested to, you know, talk with us about. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Q&A's be hip. Yeah.

Have to have prepared. 515-327-1007. You're very excited about that. 1007. Big yawn. I was thinking of the Harlem Globetrotters thing, and for some reason I was like, man, socks are comfortable when there's nothing else to lay on. You ever lay in the laundry basket full of clean whiteys? Yeah, I've done it. They're hot right out of the oven, and you spill it to sort it, and you're like, well. Who's been there? I've done it. I've done it. Have you done it? This guy right here is doing it. Sure. It's like the dry, like the warm towel out of the dryer after you're a shower. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Especially after you use that loofah. It's time for us to go. Yeah. Creepy man's back. He's going to give us a ride to Troy's house. I've seen two security guards. They know you're a… They tell you wander around with that phone. Still have a little cold.

All right. I heard you making the calls. Still have a little some cold? No. Probably called the security. He thought about it. All right. We'll see you next week, 10 to midnight here on Des Moines Amplified.com. Have a wonderful week. We'll be back. And Foost. We have a packed house today. It's going to be really exciting, actually. Zach will be here in a little bit, but Mike and Dan are here in the studio, and sitting in for Zach in the interim is Jared Roy. Good afternoon, everybody. Yep. Hi.