Live from Lowe Street Studios, downtown the mall, you are Live from the Path. And thank you for joining us. You are Live from the Path on Deboine Amplified.com. Thanks so much for being with us here tonight. All right. Sorry for the little delay. A couple of minor technical items. What's that? Things are all right? I'm looking good? I'm not looking good? Mike says I'm looking good. Sorry. I've looked better. I don't know what to do with myself. I think you look nice. Well, thank you. I think you look like Dan. That's disappointing. Hence my point. That is disappointing. You look really nice. You're looking really good. Anyway, again, you were listening to Live from the Path on Des Moines Amplified.com. Thanks so much for being on here tonight. So we've got a full house tonight. We are sitting in the studio with By It's Right Name. They will be playing a couple of songs for us tonight and sitting around for some discussion. So welcome to the studio, guys. Hey, how's it going? Thanks. Good. Jimmy, you want in on this thing? We're seriously not calling you Jimmy. It's stuck. It's too late. I'm pretty sure that's not his real name. No, it's not. I'm not good with names. Yeah, you know, I'm not very good with names either.

I've decided that I usually run into someone and if I don't get it right the first time, it's pretty much gone. I'm just going to refer to him as whatever I called him the first time I saw him. I called Pat Sajak Santos for, I mean, half hour. It was very awkward. Really? Did you ever see me when I was on Wheel of Fortune? I did not. He would say, you're spin, Mike, and I'd say, thanks, Santos, and then I'd go. He looked very upset. I missed that one. Yeah. Yeah, I never, I just, I so rarely use names. I know so many people from so many different areas of life and if you see them out of position, you know, like, I don't know where, I know you from somewhere, but I don't know why. What do you call a guy that you don't know their name? You. That's what you say? Hey, you. No, you don't say that, really? Have you ever heard me say, hey, you? No. I don't listen to Dan when he's talking to me. I know your name now. Yeah, I know. Most people just ignore me anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Actually, my wife and I were talking about that. I don't, I rarely ever use her name. No. You gotta say the woman.

Yeah, I say woman. I say, yeah. Which? You gotta start it. They don't say that about you. No, you gotta start it from the beginning. Call me Jimmy. If you start it right from the beginning, then it's not offensive. But if you change over to it, say, after you're married, then it's not gonna go over very well. Actually, here's the way I sell it. I say, but you're the only woman. You're the woman. I don't say, hey, a woman. Hey, one of many women. I say, woman. This is the one. Yeah, but you don't refer to other women as not a woman. Yeah, but I don't refer to other women as the woman either. What do you call other women? I don't. You. Hey, you. I refer to them as gals. Ladies. Yeah, ladies. Yeah. I'm always like, hey, how you doing?

Oh, it's been a while. Yeah! How's that thing going? This is how you speak with. They kind of fill in spaces. This is how you speak with ladies? I don't know how you got one. See someone at the mall. Hey. I should know this person. Yeah. Again. Sorry. It could be at school. Terrible. Could be it from church. It could be from any of my various activities. Okay, so I know a guy. I work with him. Here's the deal. Here's the skinny on him. His name's not Jimmy. So, he comes in. He comes flying into work a couple weeks ago. And a lunchtime comes around. He says, did you bring your lunch? I said, no. I didn't.

He goes, well, you can have some of mine. I said, what do you got? He says, rabbit. I say, seriously? He goes, yeah. So, here's what's happened. He lives in the city limits of Ankeny. Apparently, a rabbit come trucking by his place. He whoops out the bow and arrow and shoots. Bow and arrow? Yeah. Yeah, shoots a rabbit off-season. Like a hunting one or like a kid one? Off-season. Are you saying a hunting rabbit or a kid rabbit? No, a hunting bow and arrow. No, a big man's arrow, Daniel. Big boy? He's not five. He has a job. What do you think? He broke out a little tyke's arrow? Well, I don't know. I'm just going, man, in the middle of the city. That's just kind of… Licked it and threw it at the rabbit? I have a few weapons you wouldn't use in the city. I said the rabbit was dead already.

I don't think the little kid's bow and arrow was going to do it. I missed that point. He was going to eat it. It was in the lunch pail. No, no, no. I'm talking about when he… Go on. Finish your story. How did he acquire the rabbit? He shot it with an arrow. Okay, so it wasn't dead when he shot it. He shot a live rabbit. Yeah, it was trucking, I say. Okay, so Dan and I are now on the same page with you. We're caught up with you. Yeah. What did I say? Dead rabbit and then he shot it with a bow and arrow? Look at that dead rabbit. You made it sound… If I missed this one, I'm really bad. You made it sound like he was adding insult to injury. Okay, what? And just bow and arrowing a deceased rabbit. I would think worse of him if he shot a dead rabbit again. Okay, fair enough. Okay, so anyway, he shoots a rabbit within city limits. Okay.

And then skins it and cooks it up. Brings it to lunch the next day. Was it his neighbor's pet? No, no. And he was roasted because his wife was mad at him. And he couldn't figure out why. He said, my wife was all mad because she said I stunk up the house with cooking his rabbit. I said, yeah, that sounds reasonable, man. You know, you can't just go shooting. Apparently, there's seasons for shooting rabbit because if you shoot them in an off season, they grow some kind of bacteria or something. Like, only in certain months do they not have this bacteria. What? So you have to thoroughly cook them. So not only are you eating a rabbit, but you have to eat a well-done rabbit because otherwise you fear disease. I did not. Actually, that's good to know because if I were in a real pickle and I went out Daniel Boone style and tried to catch me something, I would not have known. I would die. That it has bacteria in certain months. I don't know when you're supposed to eat things. Are you in season? You think you could survive in the wild? Let me take out my bacteria test kit. You tested that last week. No, we were talking about escaping a prison. If I was just out in the wild? Yeah.

Yeah, I could do it. Okay, hit me. What are your skills? Wait, do I have any tools or anything? Hold on. You got a shoe, one shoe, not both. It's a left. What happened to my other shoe? It's a lefty. There's been an incident. That's why you're in the wild. Okay, fair enough. So you got a lefty shoe, one toothpick, and a bottle of nose spray. Okay. Go. Okay. Well, I lure in in season rabbits with a pool of nose spray and get them all hyped up. Decongesting. Yeah. Clear them out. Yeah, that'll kill that deal that we're talking about. No bacteria for me. And then I smash them with my lefty. All right. I'm with you so far. And then I enjoy it raw. Because I'm in the buff. I've taken off my goods.

Oh, man. That makes everything good. Because I don't want to get rabid on me. That's my only set. I don't want to get rabid on it. And then I put them back on, and I pick out my teeth with a toothpick. You think I was going to use a toothpick as some sort of violence, but you've got to save that. You don't want filthy rabbit carcass in your teeth and not a way to get it out. I saw it. I thought you were going to skewer the rabbit and cook it on the toothpick. What kind of tiny rabbit have I captured? Well, I can't see you killing a big one with your lefty. He's all hopped up on nasal teeth. Seems like I might be able to get him when he's disoriented. Couldn't you use the toothpick as a sample for all the area animals? For others to try? And then they come in, and you get that one. Like land fishing? Exactly. You've got a minnow. You've got a bigger fish. Hero creature. Until finally you've caught a whale, which you've had to eat for years. There's the deal. You can't choke a whale. You can't get your arms around it. You can suffocate a rabbit or a land breeder, and you can poke the gills with both your hands on a fish, but you can't choke a whale.

He's not going down eating. No kidding. Ask Jonah. Jonah, he's eaten an entire man. I don't think you stand a chance. If he can open his mouth wide enough to eat you and have you live in there for a little while, that's bad news. Although the Bible provides a good example on how to live off the land, because if you can get eaten by a whale, that means you have full access to whatever he just ate. So there's instant meals in there. So you can eat digested fish particles. I don't know if I want what he just ate. Okay, now wait a minute. When you think about this Jonah and the whale situation, I assume he's walking around in there. He's got somewhere else to go. You know, really, more than likely what happens, he is crumped up like a fetus in there. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's not like what you think when they throw it in a kid's book. That's right. They have him trolling the whale like there's a front and back section at a dining party area. A little window. And the older I got, the more I thought, come on now. Wait a minute. This is like a 10-story tall whale. He's always got a lantern that's made it through this dive into the ocean. He's holding up old style. You know, Geppetto got that too, though, on the Pinocchio. So, he also has a lantern.

I don't know where he's going to get that. What? You got a sea. Yeah, man's got a sea. My bad. The Lord didn't give him a toothpick and nasal spray. Man's got to have something. He's got to make his own way. Justin from By It's Right Name, have you ever eaten a land creature? Like a squirrel, rabbit, a cow? Like road land? Squinny. Get up in there. Land meaning the road or land meaning pastures? All of land. Yeah. Any land. Oh, yeah, definitely. Every day. When was the last time you handled a deceased animal? Oh. That wasn't intent. Like, I mean, you caught it within a nominal amount of time of it being deceased, not you purchased a raw chicken at the store and mourned it. I can't say I've had the pleasure. Really? Yeah. Have you ever hit one with your vehicle?

No. How about a bite sticker? Not that I remember. Did you say purchased a raw chicken and mourned it? Yeah. I kind of caught that too. What kind of guy buys a raw chicken, takes it home and goes, oh, man. That had to be a rough ending. This is abysmal. I like to call him Lenny. I don't know how he got there, but he doesn't have a head and his skin's gone. Hey, man. He had a rough go. Have you ever Godfather style a dead fish to somebody with some kind of note? I've done that. And in this paper? I bought a dead fish at the store, and then I got a paring knife, and I cut out letters out of a magazine. I told a buddy of mine and wrote a threatening message to him that said, Levi sleeps with the fishes. And then I folded it up, put it in the box with the dead fish, stabbed it with the paring knife, and then drove it out to his house and left it on the doorstep. And then I hid behind his car as he shut off all the lights in his house and went around the yard with a flashlight trying to see what was up. Yeah, he called me. I stayed at home, and this guy calls me, and he goes, dude, are you guys messing with me? Are you messing with me?

I said, no. No, I don't know what you're saying. He's like, dude, somebody's messing with me. And he called his dad. He called a bunch of family members and stuff trying to figure out someone messing with him. He was like 23, 24 at the time. Embarrassing. That's hilarious. He didn't come out with a BB gun or anything or a karate outfit. He wasn't going to take any care of business. He called in the reinforcements. I'm not sure what I'd do. But if that happened to you? Yeah, something kind of shows up in your door. I think you do what Ben does. You get in the buff, you grab yourself some nasal spray, and you go find some trouble. Nothing says trouble like a naked man with some nasal spray. Actually, that's true. I don't care how crazy of a guy you got to put that fish on your doorstep. He sees you coming out all natural with a toothpick in your hand and some nasal spray in the other. He's heading out. But he's pretty sure you're more crazy. Yeah, I don't want no part of this. I don't need this kind of trouble. Actually, I was talking this week about ways to defend myself. I work in an office building, and I'm always concerned that some kind of wild man is going

to roll in here and shoot the place up. Yeah. Because that's what happens when you let people go. They get all riled up, and they come in. And here's how you handle it. You've got to out crazy the crazy. He comes in with the weapon. The worst thing to do is hide under your desk and cower. That is not a way to go out. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Yeah. I'm at least going to go after him. Yeah. So here's the thing. You're surrounded by, whatever, a hundred other people. So maybe you make a run at him, and he's wild. I can't imagine he gets a good shot off. Maybe he gets you in the arm. And if he's lucky in the head, but I'm going to heaven anyway. I don't care. I'm coming after him, right? I'll take one in the arm. Now, here's the only thing that scares me, is that I've got a bunch of loafers around me that don't grab the opportunity when he's distracted trying to shoot me. Exactly. Because if I die in vain… I wonder what it looks like when people die.

Oh, Ben. Because Johnny Necktie over there doesn't want to get off his duff and go tackle this wild man who just shot me. Exactly. But here's the… An office building's full of coffee. I mean, I don't care who you are. You can't take hot coffee to the eye. True. You know, if you're just walking by and say, dude, I just want to go back to my desk, and then I'll cower just like we were talking, and then you get him hot coffee right in the face. Can I just take one last cup? You tell me there's a guy that takes hot coffee right in the eye, and he keeps his eyes open and enough to be able to tell what's going on. Now, he might just start firing. I get that part. Well, then the cowering guy's got a head up, and then you are available to de-arm him. Yeah. I'm telling you, I will not go… I told him, I warned my wife this week. I said, if there's an incident at the office building and you hear someone was shot, it was probably me, because I'm not going down, cowering under my desk, waiting until there's… You can't reason with the crazy man. He's crazy. I mean, he's planning to die. Yeah. If I'm under the desk cowering, and he comes over with the weapon, what happens?

Hey, hey, maybe I can talk you out of this while I cower under my office supplies. I don't think so. I'm going after him. I'm going after him and saying, let me introduce you to Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Before you introduce me to him. I'm praying both for you and I as I come right after you. I'm okay, but are you going to be okay? Yeah. So that's… You're right behind me. That's the deal. I'm not going out and huddling. You know what your luck would be? You would grab a cup of coffee off the desk, and it would be cold. Yeah. And he would be unfazed and then very irritated. Is this two-day-old sinker? You've got to be kidding me. This was my good shirt. I was going to die in this shirt. I use this shirt for all hostage situations. What am I supposed to wear? You're in some real trouble now. He stams out. And where's your other shoe?

Got my toothpick. That toothpick. I can't… So wait. So the whole by its right name, no one's ever hit an animal with their vehicle? Dears? Nothing? Actually, I think I ran over a raccoon once in senior year. Where was that story three minutes ago? Now, if you don't remember, I'm a little concerned. Well, it was totally accidental. Well, maybe it wasn't. Well, what kind of on-purpose setup were you planning? You string him up on a rope? No, no. This is the weird part. The whole family was crossing, and it was after a dance marathon or something. I'd been up all night dancing with the… This story is awesome. Yeah. Please continue. Right away, right away, I'm in need of that nasal deceptive. Right away. So I'm driving down the street, driving home from this dance marathon, you know, for charity. And this whole family of raccoons crosses the street up here on university. And I just didn't feel like stopping. I don't know why. I felt like slowing down.

Did you hit the last one? The baby? Yeah. Dude, how rude. Oh. Are you serious? Even Julian's upset. I didn't see the baby. We're going to have to ask you to leave. I slowed down, and then the baby came out of nowhere. That's not the story you told. You said, I saw him, and I didn't feel like stopping. I was tired. I couldn't tell. The National Raccoon Association is going to have a fit. Hopefully they're not watching. I'm going to make sure that every time I see him, I say, have you been up all night dancing? Because if he has been, I'm not taking the road. I'm hopping the bus. Give me a head start. Either that, or I'm getting in the car with him. Because I think the safest place is in his car. Not elsewhere, where you're up to his random behavior. Okay, hold on. You've got to let me finish telling the rest of the story. Oh, sorry. Okay, so here's what else he does. Here's move number two that gives you the pure, the essence of this man.

So a week later, he's had some financial troubles. The economy has taken its toll on some people. And he decides the way out of it is to buy gold. He's going to start buying gold. And he says, I'm going to get gold with their coins, with the band Kiss on them. I say, okay. He goes, here's the best part. You can finance it. You can finance this gold. So he's buying. He says it's going to hedge against the American dollar. So he's going to finance the gold at a percentage mark. And it's not pure gold. It's stamped coins of the band Kiss. And this is going to get him out of his financial straits. This is the man we're talking about. He kills random bits of wildlife in city limits, off season, with a bow and arrow. And his salvation will be Kiss gold coins. Tell me this man does not have a future in politics. No. Yeah. I'll vote. I'm kind of speechless. Yeah. Okay, here's my question on the gold thing. I'm obviously not a financial wizard, okay? Obviously. Obviously.

I mean, look at me. Okay. So whenever things get rough, you know, I'm getting old enough. I've seen the cycle before. They're always pushing gold. Buy gold, buy gold, blah, blah, blah, blah, okay? Yep. So because it's really going up and it's really going high. So all the poor people go out and buy gold when it's really high. And then things turn around and the gold goes down. And so you lose your money again. Yeah. So you lose all your money in your stock market. And then you think, well, crap, I better get gold. So you get gold when it's really high. Then you sell low and you lose your money again. Doesn't that kind of, don't you lose twice? It does kind of sound like a double whammy. And I'm speaking completely out of ignorance. Yeah, Ben, you know financial things. Hit us. You're in the financial world. What was the deal again? You buy high because. Wait, you missed the whole story? I don't think you were listening. Sorry, somebody hit a monkey on the chat and I was paying attention. Oh, come on.

Hit a monkey? Yeah. I like cheese was in Costa Rica on vacation and thought the monkeys were cute. Until I ran it over. Actually, yeah, that was pretty much the predicate. Hey, man, do we hold any standards to the chat? Can they just tell willy-nilly stories? Is this true? I trust anybody with I like cheese to the handle. You said, was it love cheese or live cheese? No, like I like cheese. Yeah, that's reasonable. Okay. That's what I thought. Sure. What are you guys doing over there? Ricky was jimmying. Well, you were talking about gold forever. And I was like, okay, fine. This gold story is going on. That camera is still on. Well, whatever, stock. So, yeah, actually, if you buy high and then sell low and then buy again high, yeah. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to buy all this gold at $1,000 an ounce. Woo-hoo! Then I sell it at $500 an ounce. It's like, I just lost $500 per ounce. Yeah, so you lost on the stock market.

Thought, well, I better stop this thing. That's a losing deal. I better get into gold because that's what all the advertisements are saying right now. But then you buy gold real high and then things turn around and now you're back in the street. Hey, I like cheese is doubling it up. Yes, it was completely true. I believe it. They're trusty. I wasn't pointing my finger. I'm just saying it. You're an awful person. It's not very often people say, I hit a monkey. I tell you this about gold, though. I don't advocate this gold buying. Let's say things are really in the straights. Who's going to use the gold anymore? Yeah. Get some food or something. Yeah. Like, if you're really afraid things are going down, it's not like, you know, I'm out of money, but here's a gold bar for that chair of yours. I'm stockpile on ammo. Yeah, there you go. So, if you don't have food, you could acquire something. When people are coming to my house to take my goods, I will eat them. Wait, the people? The people. Or the goods.

They're going to disappear, and I figure, well, why waste them? Hey, man. I'm careful. Hey, I'm creeped out. I don't have bow and arrows, but I do have many weapons. One of our churches doesn't have a soup kitchen. Come here, friend. You want food, huh? Not here. So, actually, if you have any interesting… I kind of like this monkey story. Yeah. If you have any interesting stories, you want to give us a call, you can call the studio at 327-1007. That's 327-1007. You can join the conversation here on Live from the Path. You've been listening to Live from the Path on Des MoinesAmplified.com. By its right, fellas, if you want to get ready, we'll get ready to flip you something on and have a place to. And they're going to play as Dignity Sky. Is this off your new album? Yeah, it comes out Friday. And you're playing… Go ahead and tell us about where you're going to be playing on Friday. This Friday, we play at the House of Bricks downtown. It's on East Grand Avenue. It's at 5 o'clock. The door's open.

We've got two other bands. Two other bands are going to open for us. And we're going to play about 90% of the new CD here for you and some covers, some fun songs just to keep the kids going, you know, and hopefully sell that CD, get the word out there. It's our first one, so… And what's the name of the CD? It's called Hearsay. Hearsay. Yeah. Do you happen to be wearing raccoon hats on the cover? No. I'm not that mean to animals. It was a total accident. Yeah, but why waste it? Oh, hey, you know what. You can sample it with your toothpick as well. Okay. All right. Well, you guys ready to go? Yeah. How's the levels? Good. Got some lead guitar in there as well? Yep. All right. We're good. You ready?

Get some Jimmy in there too? Yeah, get some Jimmy. That's the Jim Bay. Get this camera. It's going to be on you. Do me. I have a mic. Should be good. All right. We're ready. I should. Give me a ting. Should be. Okay. Sorry, that was Digging in the Sky. That was from your album that's coming out on Friday. You'll be at the House of Bricks promoting it. What were the other two bands that are going to be there with you? There's this pop punk band from West Des Moines. They're called The Estate. And this new band, it's an acoustic and piano duo with vocals. It's called Redwood and Ivory. Cool. Yeah, it's going to be a good show. Awesome. Where can they get your CD? Can you buy it elsewhere than at the show? Yeah.

We're setting up some iTunes, maybe some Amazon accounts that we can hopefully get that CD online through some e-commerce shopping carts and stuff. Got a new website up. BuyitsRightName.com and we're going to have a shopping cart up there as well so you can pick up the CD there. Okay. Cool. Cool. Will you be carrying them in the trunk of your car? Oh, yeah. Definitely. Pop it open. On pockets. Pockets. I got big ones. Trench coats. Everything. I like it. Have you ever worn a trench coat, Daniel? Yeah, I used to have a leather one. What? Tell me you got it for Christmas. You didn't buy it on your own, did you? It was on purpose. I looked pretty sweet. You still wear it? No, I kind of outgrew it. There is nothing funny about that.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you didn't get it when you were five and outgrew it. It looked pretty sweet in my double-breasted suit and my leather trench coat. Actually, I wish I had a trench coat. I can't pull off a coat like that. I don't understand. Like, some people can pull off slick-looking coats. I can't do it. I think it's the hat. I look terrible. What are you doing? I need paper. What do you need paper for? We're going to do our algebra problems. All right. Hey, so real quick, guys. Where did the name of the band come from? Ooh. Well, we used to be called Jephilus. Jephilus? Yeah, it's kind of like a weird name. It sounds like a bowel movement. It does. Try Jephyrus. I'm sorry. It was actually… Use as directed. Yeah. Our friend Ivan gave it as a nickname to my brother.

He always forgot his name. His name's Jared. And he's a really creative guy, Ivan. And he's been watching a lot of that Rome show or something on HBO or something. And he got this… Oh, Rome. Like, Rome. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. And he was like, hey, Jephilus, come over here. And I was like, that's a sweet name. Maybe we should use that. But it wore off immediately. Really? Yeah. Fell out of vogue, huh? Yeah. What a bummer. So by its right name, the actual name, if you were wondering, it comes from a movie called Into the Wild is when we first heard it. And it's about this guy who went into the wild and just abandoned his entire life and all happiness and anything he shared with anybody. And he moved to Alaska. He just itched. Did he have a toothpick? No. Sorry. Good try, though, Dan.

He had a backpack full of other stuff, like clothes. Useful stuff. Useful stuff. But he went up there and he tried to survive out in the wild by himself. And he realized right before he died that happiness is only real when shared. And before he died, he started calling things by its right name. He discovered that there can be actually food in the wild, if you know the proper name for it. But it's a really sad story. He actually died because he ate a potato root, which is not edible. It sounds edible, but it's not. So he just called it the wrong thing? Yeah, he did. He's kind of confused with his name thing. Yeah, this sounds kind of lofty for me. I don't think… I would have called you Sam. It would have been okay. Yeah, really. Potato root didn't work. What if I called potato root not poisonous? Exactly. Then could I eat it? I'm going to call you delicious. Is it poisonous? Is that the name? Yeah. Did I miss the whole point of the movie?

It is poisonous. Well… I mean, what's his name? You're kind of confused. I'm confused. Okay, what's the name of the movie? It's a confusing name. Into the Wild. Into the Wild. Yeah. Came out a few years ago. Is that part of your algebra problem there? No, but I'm going to write it down. Why do I have a piece of paper to do algebra? Do you have a pen? I've got a couple extra pens right here. I came prepared. Give me a pen for Jimmy. He's double-handed this one. Basically, by its right name, it's just learning how to call things by its right name. Everyone's given a right name, you know? Right. I don't know what mine is. Hopefully, it's not poisonous. So, if I live and die and I don't know my real name, we will put potato root on your headstone. I will be honest with you. This is blown by mine. Yeah, it's pretty deep.

It's pretty confusing. I mean, is it like a Native American thing? Like a New Age thing? Like the name? Like, yeah. How do you know we're calling it the wrong name? Because it's right. I like to call that a railing out there. So, if it's really not a railing, I could fall off. If you use the wrong name? Like if you confuse it with Stepladder. Yeah, you do. You guys know. Hey, I'm obviously missing something. Hey, Daniel, give Ben a chance to explain it to us. Oh, please. Go ahead. Please, oh wise one. I take it to mean that you're seeing things for what they actually are. Like, without being colored by influences that otherwise garble up your perception. You're seeing things how they truly are. Exactly. The name, the actual, the physical name is not the relevance. It's that, but by its right name is by its true identity. Yeah. Am I rocking it? Hey, Dan. Yeah, I would have gotten there eventually.

Hey, Dan. You want to go play some basketball with me or something? Let's do it. I'm out. Let's go chew gum and lift weights. We'll get some beef jerky and we'll come back when it's done. Let's go shoot us some rabbit. Or whatever they call it. I paid for that education right there. I'll use my adult size bow and arrow. You can use whatever you got. So what was your name? Rabbit. Oh, rabbit. Dead rabbit. Oh, rabbit, you stop right there. Okay, you ready? I'm ready. Okay, so here's the setup. Dan, you've got your people ready? I'm distracted. I'm having trouble all day today so far. Okay, so I'm going to set up the problem, and then we're going to talk about something else for a while, and then after the break, we're going to come back and see what everybody got for an answer, okay? So I'm going to have Shan to text me? Yeah, so here's the setup. I've been helping this gal do some math homework for algebra, okay?

What grade is she in? She's a nursing student. Nursing? Yeah. Yeah, so anyway, they require her to do algebra. We have more paper. What? I thought it would be a challenge to see if I could rip it without anything. What's that paper's real name? I'm going to call it by its right name, A Torn Piece of Paper. You call it paper. Although he did do a good job. He left me my smiley face. I got the algebra test part. We call it maze. Did you put a title on the page already? I did. I wanted to call it by its name. Recall this one. I like your style. You're invited to the basketball and beef tournament with us. Okay, so anyway, she needed some help with some algebra. I said, sure, I can help. Whatever. I'm a dullard. Okay, I haven't taken algebra in 10 years. These problems are hard. But this one I figured out on my own, and I'm going to see where everybody's at in their

algebra skills, okay? Okay. Okay, so here's the setup. Do we have to show our work? No. Hey, Joel Kahn, you're out of this now. Vance, you're out. You can't answer this until after the break. You keep it off the chat until everyone's back. I'm going to give everybody 10 seconds to get a pen and paper if you're interested. Daniel, do something for 10 seconds. We can rip off another piece. Okay, that's terrible. Here we go. I know. It kind of really started off. Okay. So, there's two train stations. Train station A and train station B. We're going to do this with easy numbers. Okay. They are 2,000 miles apart. Okay? Yeah. Is that uphill or downhill? Stick with it. What's that kilometers? I only deal in Euro.

Nobody really cares about kilometers. What is a kilometer? A kilometer is .65 of a mile. I don't know that. Joel Kahn, is that right? Joel Kahn's not allowed to talk. You put him on the table. He can talk about kilometers to miles. All right, 2,000 miles. I know 3.1 miles is 5K. Okay, be quiet, Daniel. I ran that today. Yeah, 3K, so .65. Hold on. Wait, wait, okay. Hold on. Hold on a second. Just entertain for five seconds. How you doing, Mike? Yes, indeed. I'm a double. Tastes like chicken. Value me. I like to think the chicken's real name is Meatloaf. Have you ever heard? He's really made something out of himself. He looks like one ingredient, and he's really seven. Look at me, Mom.

I'm really Meatloaf. Is there Cavendars in here? Ben, are you ready? Ah, yeah. Okay, I'm moving on. I think he's falling. Okay, two train stations, A and B, 2,000 miles apart. In between these two train stations, the trains travel on average of 200 miles an hour. Okay. Ready? So here's where it's going to hit you. A train leaves station B and travels for two hours. Okay. And then a train leaves station A. Are they going towards each other? Yes. Okay. They are traveling towards each other. That's a good point to know. Okay. Is it south? So be quiet, Daniel. Okay, so train leaves two hours, leaves station B. After two hours, a train also leaves station A. At what point, how long does train A have to travel before the two trains will meet? Why are these trains colliding? They're on parallel tracks. They're on parallel tracks.

This is like a dangerous math equation. Yeah. Team 32, Iowa State Fair. They're crashing. Okay, I'm with him. We're redoing the Iowa State Fair. Or they're traveling on parallel tracks. However you want to think about it. If you're with death and destruction, we'll go with the Iowa State Fair scenario. Okay. If you do not want to. Okay, so I'm going to give you the overview one more time. Two train stations, A and B. 2,000 miles apart. The trains travel at 200 miles an hour. First train leaves from station B, travels for two hours. And then a train leaves station A. How long will the train from station A travel before the two trains meet? You have, what time is it? Half past? Yeah, it's quarter till. Okay, you have 15 minutes to solve this problem. Keep yourself working on it. The question is. You don't have it. Who's got it? Joel Kahn says he's got it already. Of course he does.

Well, yeah, he probably wrote the problem. Hey, Joel Kahn. I call it something else. Does it come out to be a whole number? Like an easy, equatable number? I didn't really do the math ahead of time. I just kind of made it up. Are we going to sit here and do this problem for 15 minutes? No, we're going to talk about something else. But that's the problem set up. What is this tune? Huh? What is this actually? This is Sunkies. It's Supper Time by Blue Lou Morton. Same thing. Of course it is. Math music. Mr. Kahn needs a copy of this. Please wait while I'm figuring. I didn't catch the whole problem. I was jerking around looking for a song to play. I'm just picturing these guys in 60s hairdos kind of dancing around looking goopy. Hey, don't do your math out loud. Everyone has separate pieces of paper. That was not part of the instruction. I'm going to put you in the hallway. I'm trying to think here.

I'll tell you what, Jimmy. You're on thin ice. Dan's had it up here. I've got my bow and arrow. Hey, Dan, you remember back in elementary school when they used to put your name on the board? I've never had that happen. You seriously have never had your name on the board? No. What? Come on, Daniel. Did you ever have it threatened? I was never caught at anything. Oh, so you were slick. I'm pretty slick. Ben? I was smart enough to know when to be. Yeah, I got my name on the board. For what? Winding in class. I'm laughing at it. That's generally what I got in trouble for. Social faux pas. I can see that. Fellas? Anybody? Jimmy? Name on the board? Yeah, name on the board.

Oh, yeah. A few times. And it wasn't for running over raccoons. What'd you do? Tell me. Spill the beads. Hunting down squirrels on the playground. Purge yourself for the least guilt that you've carried around all the years. I kicked a kid. What, you booted him? I was in, like, kindergarten. Yeah, what'd he do, though? What'd he do? Yeah. He called me a name. Well, can you repeat it? And it wasn't my right name, no. Maybe it was your name. He didn't call my right name. That you didn't know yet. Yeah. Did you kick him and say, don't you understand the lofty purpose of calling me by my right name? If someone calls me a name, I'm going to have to stop and think. Maybe you're right. I've been going by the wrong name this whole time. Now that I know, I shall live longer. And more fulfilled.

Maybe I am what you said. Boy, I should change my ways. Hey, when's the last time you took public transportation? Bus or taxi cab? Probably in Chicago a couple years ago. Did you take a taxi? We did. We made a goal to do everything. I don't think we did taxi. We did trains, planes, and automobiles. Then we made a little movie. Did you rent a car? No. The first time we went, we did. And then we thought, this is really stupid. So then we stayed out in the suburbs. I saw that, fellas. I did, too. That was bad. And took the trains. That's what I did, too. Hey, man. Hey, no. It ain't time. I'm just working with our answers. No, don't show it to anybody. Hey, wait. Can you hold that up again, AJ?

Don't do it. I got a glance. I think I got an answer, but I don't know if I got the right answer. I don't know if I got the number you're looking at. You guys better not be in cahoots over there. Hey, man. No, no, no. All right. So here's the chat. We got name on the board with checkmark because I threw someone's shoe in the garbage. Sixth grade. It was the right shoe, so that's why you left. Name and checkmark, both at the same time? I had to hold my hand against the chalkboard. That was our punishment. You had to hold it as high as you could for like 10 minutes. What did you do? I tripped a kid while he was walking down the aisle because I thought it would be funny. Well, it was, wasn't it? He broke his glasses. It was funny. That's even more funny. Oh, my gosh. Hey, man. That's horrible. I had a kid throw up on me in sixth grade. Ooh. I had a girlfriend do it once.

I don't feel as bad anymore. First date. First date. Go ahead. Sorry. You just kind of brought back a great memory, but go ahead. Wait a minute. How far into the date were you? She didn't like just walk up to your door and catch one glimpse and you can go. Oh, look. It was a blind date. That's awful. Oh, look at you. It was on the tilt. That'd be terrible. It was on the tilt of the world. It's not even a trying to stop thing. I had white pants on. Oh, what? They were like Don Johnson style? Pretty much. I was Don Johnson. I have no doubt he was wearing tight white pants. They were. She had eggs for breakfast. And sausage. It was July 4th. We were at Adventureland.

You went for your first date on the 4th of July wearing tight white Don Johnson pants after she had eggs for breakfast? I did not know what she had for breakfast until after she deposited them on my white pants. Boy. Did you keep those pants? I do not recall. I put them on a train going. What have you done? That's outrageous. First of all, I wrote algebra with both hands. I thought that was artistic. Holy cow. And that just started right and right. Okay. When the answers are real, I'm going to let you have a look at Jimmy's paper over here. Because he's a professor in training. There's got to be 17 lines of math here. He calls that art. We call it something else. All right, so from the chat, a teacher stopped, today was the first day of school, and he stopped three guys throwing water balloons off the third-story balcony at the beginning of the school day. Ooh. Welcome to the school year, brother. Yeah. Did you bring your water balloons? How'd they get up to the roof? What do you mean?

No, no, no. They changed schools. It's got a balcony on it. What? The Southeast Polk High School. It's got a balcony on it. Third floor. Well, I didn't know it was Southeast Polk High School. You gave it as an ambiguous story. Well, you assumed some school because you said, how do they get on the roof? Schools aren't the only buildings with roofs. Well, but they were the first day of school. That's obviously what we're talking about. I just asked how they got up to the roof. It was like, welcome to the first day of school. Let's go to a random building that's not to school and throw water balloons and hope a teacher follows us and catches us and says something about it on the chat. What I'm saying is why no one saw them enter the school and go to the roof on the first day of school? They're not on the roof. How do you get access to the third floor balcony? It's on the third floor of the school. Didn't you say roof? You said roof. In our school, everything's locked down. Did he say roof or did I say roof? No, you said roof. He said balcony.

Whatever. I did not. Maybe it's the wrong word. Yeah, it's the third floor. That's what I thought. If you call it correctly, you wouldn't get caught. Okay, here we go. Here's another checkmark on the board here. There was a guy missing a finger and I got my name on the board for going up to him and saying, hi, four. Four. I'm sorry. That's awesome. They didn't say. I'm sorry for that guy, but Jesus wanted you to have four fingers. That's awesome. How many times do teachers discipline their students, but then they go home and they're like, yes, that was good. I know parents do that. I've heard of it anyway. So if you have any further storage, you can give us a call at 327-1007 and join us on the program on Live from the Path on Des Moines Amplified.com. By the way, if you want to interact with us during the week, you can join us on Live from the Path.org. You can watch the current show, archive shows. You can sign up for the newsletter. There's also links to our YouTube channel and you can send us an email. What's up?

What is going on over there? It was copied an answer from somebody. Are you looking at all this? Absolutely. You only said you wanted an answer. Okay. I saw one flashing around, so I took it. Now I have to change my mind. I almost need some work, Daniel. Oh. See, I got notes. If I were you, I'd copy off Jimmy. He's got a page and a half here. Bam. You teepeed the whole property, too. The same guys? The water balloon fellas with the teepee? You guys teepeed? We teepeed old folks home one time. Yeah, that was mean. That sounds good. Well, they weren't going to clean it up. I mean, if you think Ethel's going to go have to, you know, hogtie up the tree and get the stuff down, that's different. But, I mean, they pay a maintenance, man. Get out and get some exercise. Just, let's see. Give me this.

Ooh, they strung fishing line across sidewalks and trip people. That fishing line is a rude beast. Oh, that's nasty. Actually, okay, I don't want to spoil the beans here. Okay, but here's Daniel's setup. Here's how he set up the problem. You wanted to see some work. If you guys have this at home, be weary. 34 times X, no equals or plus anything, just another number. 3X squared times 4 squared, which is mathematically figurable, times XY times 2, no plus or equals 74. 74. Still no equals sign, giant number 4. Yes, but see, if you're looking at it from upside down, thinking about other things, you can say, oh, look, he's really done something, and there's his answer. Are we going to talk? What are we doing there? It's after the break. Okay. Did you figure it yet? No, I told you I wasn't paying attention. I was looking for a tune to play while we were doing math. Okay, you're going to figure out why they're playing their next tune. That's when you're going to do it. I want to listen. You can listen to it. It's good math. What's the name?

Is the next song good math music? Could be. It's not a strong yeah on that, but it has a number in it. Face to face. Oh. You don't use a number in the middle, do you? Like Backstreet Boys style? Are you just saying that? If I look at this CD, is it going to say face numeral to face? But there are hyphens, so they look like little subtraction things. Face squared. Face to face, parentheses, text me. Uh-oh. Okay, Dan, you're in trouble. The math man on the chat wants to have a discussion with you. And probably your high school math teacher, I guess. Mrs. Tooney is very disappointed right now. I knew Danny would be a problem. Did they call you Danny in school? Not that old. When I was younger, I did, because there was a Daniel and a Danny and a Dan. No, no, they called me Daniel. My family called me Danny. I don't remember this. It's the highest, because names aren't important to me. Actually, Dan, on this very program, you've claimed that you knew your name was Dan from way back in the day, and you couldn't have been prouder. I was the Dan.

The Dan. And that was my imaginary superhero. It was the Dan. An alter ego of your own self? It was me. It was me. I was great. I was awesome. I did everything. I have no ego problems. We need Spider-Man. We've got the Dan. He could even match up to the Dan. Webs and stuff. Did you ever try to draw your own comic book? Yeah. Fellas? Everyone's looking at me. He's a really good artist, actually. You've got to have this. I draw a little bit. Justin does. Doodle. Do you have one with you that we can read? Do you have a comic book tattoo? A tattoo? Of a comic book character? No.

Sadly, no. Can you draw the other side of my piece of paper? Jimmy wants you to draw a picture. Of what? Of Superman. Sure. I'll give it a shot. Make it the Dan. The Dan Man? Dan the Man? Just the Dan. The Dan? Hey, make it very weak. No, make it very ugly in the face. Make it obviously strong. And give him a mustache. Make it look like a math wizard. Hold on. I'll draw one, too. There's the math. Everybody draw a picture of the Dan. Yeah, mine aren't that great. Hold on. Stick figures work? Because I can do it. Yeah. What do you got? Is everybody working on one?

We're drawing. You have arms detached from your torso. That's a little weird. You have curly hair. How am I drawing? I've been called worse, so we're good. We're drawing. We're drawing pictures of those of you just joining us. This riveting radio. We're drawing the pictures of Dan. I'm drawing Dan. Everyone's doing a picture of Dan to report back to the group in the next 10 seconds. I saw that. Can you break this up? You've got to break it closer. All right. This is better right here. How'd yours turn out? You self-assured. I can't. Okay. Wait a minute. That's what I got. I'm dead. Hold on. Isn't that the symbol of dead people? Yeah, that's a good one. Oh, mathematic eyes.

There we go. Okay, Mike's looks good. Dan, hold that up a little closer. Are you doing the Heisman? I like that. I'm that good. It's like he's got a finger on. Those are my bulging muscles. Hey, Dan, don't show everybody your mathematical work. They'll steal your indexes. This is him. You can't see the whole thing. He's on the toilet. There we go. God damn. With a case. Yes. That's what I got. Hey, man, his is actually pretty good. Like, talented. Oh, yeah. This is embarrassing. Yeah. Hey, don't ever come on this program and draw again. Hey, you asked for it. You can only tell jokes. Do you know any jokes? No.

If your math is dead on, we're going to have some real problems. One statute. What's a statute mile? Oh, 1.60934722 kilometers. Exactly. I don't think I can do that. That was really odd. They got there three hours and 58 seconds. It's flat. What? Well, with those odd numbers, you're going to get something weird. I'm with him. Yeah, me too. He's made good sense. Wait. Wait. Are we revealing the answers? Okay, let's do the answers. Okay. Let's do it. Hold on. Wait. Hold on. You got tunes? Let me see what I can do. Hold on. Pink Panther? Huh?

What is it? I don't know yet. Well, this is not a good setup. Sorry. Yeah, okay. This is awful. This is going to be the worst 15 minutes of radio I've ever heard in my days. Make sure we get this one on YouTube. Okay, here we go. Let's hit me with it, Mike. Okay, Ben, what was your answer? I told you. I didn't do it. Okay, Ben got it wrong. Daniel? Three minutes and 58 seconds. The answer is going to be in the hours. Four. AJ? I got four hours. Yes! Four. That's where I copied it from. Four. Jimmy? I'll read it off. This ain't a little good. Five miles over 200 miles an hour.

Two hours, four hours. 200 over X plus two. 2,000 over 198. Okay, Jimmy seemed to have gotten a date of 1980. That's not right, Jimmy. Four X times four X. And there's an out dash that says 1.21 gigawatts. Did anybody on the chat do it besides Joe Conn? No. Did anybody do the math on the chat? I think they're behind. I'm disappointed. Okay. 8.75? Who was that? Gracious Mimi. That's embarrassing. Anybody else? Who else wants to give their answer? I'm ready. Nope. Okay. After reacting to that last one, no one's willing to jump on board with it. Okay. The answer is four, indeed. Congratulations by its right name. You guys are very impressive. Thank you.

Kev got four. I like cheeses at four. Okay. They're rocking it. Way to go, chat. Yeah. That's a way to rock it. Can you explain to us how you got four? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's not possible over there. Okay. So here. Okay. Wait a minute. Hold on. Gracious Mimi has submitted two more answers. 6.52 and 3.33. All incorrect and after someone had already given away four. 12.22 underlined. These are all very good guesses. Pants has weighed in with four after everyone else and after we've already said four was the right answer. Good job, Pants. Way to come in fifth places away. So anyway, so what you do is you take the whole 2,000 miles, right? And the first train has traveled for two hours at 200 miles an hour.

So he's 400 miles into it. So now you know that those trains now are both going to be traveling at the same rate of 200 miles an hour. So now you've got to take the total distance, which is 2,000 minus the 400 that one guy has already traveled to get you to 1,600. And you know that the trains are going to meet in the middle of that. So that's at 800 miles total travel time. And if they're traveling 200 miles an hour, it's going to take them four hours. That's totally not how it is. Did you do 2,000? I did a graph. Yeah, we did pictures. I went back to third grade and drew my graph. I did it with algebra. We just drew little lines for each hour. He stole my algebra test, so I only had my… I should have made the numbers harder so you couldn't have gotten away with that graph. My difficulty with the story problems in school was like, who cares? Honestly, who cares? Wow, it doesn't matter. I'll just ask the dude at the train station, hey, when does the train get here? Well, you know, let me try this way. The guy at the train station cares. Well, he cares, but I don't have his job, so I don't care. How do you know that in some way or another Jesus won't say, Dan Hudson, I want you to stop preaching, and I need you to conduct trains, and you're ill-prepared? I'll just read their pamphlet. Oh, I've got to be there at 4 o'clock. Maybe you're the guy that makes the pamphlet. Well, I could be.

Then I'll say, hey, dude. Do the math. Intern. That'll show him. Hey, dude. Yo, intern. Yeah. You'll give him like three ways to do it. Okay. All right, by its right name. Yes. You guys ready? Another song. They're going to do another one. This one is called Face Non-Numeral 2, spelled with the traditional single O. Face to Face. This is off their new album, Hearsay. They will be at the House of Bricks on Friday, and you can pick up their new CD there. At 5 o'clock? Yeah, and $5. Super discount. Super discount. Five bucks to get in. And $5 CD. But first 11 people, free CD. First 11? 11. It's really random.

Who's going to count? I think you just pull that out of his hair. I think we'll have some of that. Hair. Let's put room in the hair. Maybe we'll have Amy count. She's pretty good at that. So if I come in with a little card that says number 11, say, this is my right name. Somebody give me his card. I don't think your comedy is going to go over at the House of Bricks. I don't know why. I don't know if that's really funny. I'm just trying to get a free CD. And that's the best idea you came up with? Why don't you show up on time and get one legitimately? Wow. I don't have five bucks. Will you take $4.50? He said they're free. Just get there. You know what? It's a special line, so we might be able to arrange something. Okay. I'm going to get my pathetic shirt. I have a special shirt I wear when I want to look pathetic. It's this one. See? I beat you.

I beat you, Daddy. What's your hood? It's the one you got on. I thought it was obvious to everyone. I didn't need to say it. Actually, if you go back and look at the archives of the show, you'll notice that I have this shirt on 75% of the time. What I'd like to share with everyone is that is not just a Monday night equation. If you were to film me every other night of the week, it's 75% of the time. If X equals how many times I wear this shirt a week times number of laundry uses divided by two. It's in the fractions. Okay. All right. Let's roll right into the 11 o'clock hour with by its right name, doing. Hold on. I lost it already. I already said it. Face. That's right. I went upon a big thing about it, and I've forgotten it. Face to face off the new album, Heresy. Hearsay, sorry. Heresy's not right. Oh, boy. Scratch that. That's going to be a problem. Yeah, I know. We like to walk the fine line.

I'm not Catholic, but I feel like I should. Okay. Let's roll. Go ahead, fellas. It tainted the return of time sweetly along, guys. Wild ride. Yeah. I rocked it. Yeah. That was awesome. I'm pretty sure other people might have a different name for that, but… I call it by a switchback name. You can call it what you want. The truth might be something different. Somebody's torturing a homeless beggar. I'm sure of it. If we're being honest, I did not rock it. I sounded like that drunk guy at the soccer game who tries to do the… But doesn't quite know it. He's the guy that switched to the Vuvuzela. He couldn't do it right, so he gets a big annoying horn. Wow. Yeah, that was awesome. Is that one off the new CD then? Yeah. Is there a background of people doing it on the CD? Oh, definitely. There is.

Lots of clapping. Lots of fun. We always like to get the crowd in on that one. Be fun. Yeah, so once again, what time was the show at the House of Bricks? Five. Oh, you want to come now, don't you? Maybe. Now that he's invited to sing. I ain't going to get there in time for the free CD, so… I guess I'll just have to show them. Wait a minute, but they're not on. They got a couple opening bands. Yeah. So when's the time start then for the free CD? Five when the door is open. Well, that's crap. But you know what? You guys, we might be able to swing you free CD each since you had us on your show. Yeah, cool. I only have $4.50. We talked about this. No, no, no. It's all good, free. No, I'll spring you 50 cents. Jeez Louise. I don't know. Hey, I'll tell you what.

I'll take it. By Jimmy's math, that's like a dime or something. That's not who he's going to tell us. I got to give them skeezy internet guys 18 bucks. They made me pay for the water. I'm just kidding. There's no water here. So how did you guys become a band? We actually were in a worship band together at our old youth group. And I led worship there for a few years, and I asked Ricky to drum, or Jimmy, as you want to call him. Hey, to be fair, his real name is not Jimmy. Just for the record. I thought I couldn't remember his regular name, but it's pretty much the same. It's just like… It's his right name? Yeah. It's Jimmy. That's Ricky, isn't it? Yes, it is. Yeah, so there's like one letter difference here. Take off a couple of letters. You know, you called me Millie. That's his real name. That's just not… No, Millie wasn't intentional. I just wrote it down wrong. I make mistakes.

We've looked into your soul, and we see you, Jimmy. You give me 18 bucks, I'll correct it. I'm forgiven. 18 bucks. So you started in the worship band together? Yeah, we did. And Ricky, or Jimmy, and AJ and I, we were in a band called Key to the City. We played at Spear Midwest two years prior to this year. And we, it just wasn't working out. Some of the band members were about to go off to college, so, you know, that happened. We had to switch members around, and we recruited my little brother, Jared. He's the good looks of the band. And the tallest one. Yeah, he's the tallest one, too. I'm the good looks of the band. Please do not recant. Or re-dink. Jimmy, you're fine looking gentleman. I don't… The tall guy's pretty cool, though. I mean, he had me at that light blue shirt, I thought. Baby loose. I hope he's tall, and sure enough, he was. That was the end of me. $18, and I'm in. So here we are. We're just a band now. We've been a band since December, last year.

That's about right. November, December, so. Excited to release this CD. Who does… Do you guys, like, write most of the tunes collaboratively, or is there somebody that handles the lyrics? Mostly, or… I write it most of the time. You do most of that? No, I don't. Well, they go through an extensive filtering process. Okay. And I'm the filters. Well, so, let's talk a little bit about the last one you did, Face to Face. Like, what's kind of the root of that tune? It's basically, it's almost like our anthem, if you really think about it. Like, the moment you come face to face with your problems, the moment you come face to face with your creator, even, or face to face with things like love or death. When you come face to face with a certain aspect of life, you start to realize your true identity come out. Right. You know, you start to realize in the face of death, you kind of whimper at first. In the face of love, you get good feelings. Sometimes it can be awkward. Sometimes it can be funny. But with all these little facets that come from these trials, you start to realize who you are. Right. So, it's like, the chorus says, face to face, I lose my place, but on gentle wings of grace, you come. So, it's like, our creator, face to face with him, he'll see our true identity. No matter how bad we think we are, no matter how awkward we think we might have been in the last date, no matter how rebellious we might be, it doesn't matter. Because face to face to our creator, he sees us by our right name.

Right. So, that's it, pretty much, in a nutshell. I like that. Did you get that, Dan? No. It's too deep. Sorry. Because I don't even know if it's the right name. I mean. You can call it whatever you want. Like your middle name. You can call it the Woe song if you want. It's the Woe song. Woe class. I like that. I like that. It's kind of the thought that, you know, it's tough to identify who you are. Like, for example, how do you describe a guy who sits in a dark room on a chair and doesn't talk to anybody, do anything, see anything, whatever? Like, what do you know of him except for that he exists? Yeah. Right? But, like, you start to… Or do you know that? You start to understand more about a person by how they interact with the world, how they interact with their creator, how they… Yeah. Yeah. I like it. So what would you name me if you didn't know my name?

End up. End up on his own. Someone else want to answer that question? I'll answer if you don't want to. Go for it, man. Keep the microphone away from Mike. Josephius. Wait, what was the name? I said Josephius, but that's not right. What is it? The Jephilus one? Jephilus. Jephilus. Warrior of the microphone. Yes. Hold on. You kind of look like an Eddie. You kind of do. Velvet Crush doesn't come to mind. Hey, how about Gifford? Gifford! Well, that's too bad. Hey, I tried to get… I tried to… I like the name Gaffney for a dude. It's the truth now. I tried to get my wife to start referring to me as Gaffney because I wanted to be called the Gaff. Because that seems like a guy that did something historical in sports when he was in high school,

but that it took him out and he couldn't play sports again. It's like, oh, remember what happened with the Gaff back in 87? And so, like, I thought if my nickname was the Gaff, like, that would make people think that I did something slick. You have the power of the keyboard. That's true. I could change my name on here to the Gaff. But then I was afraid I would be confused for either one, like a Gaffer, like an electrical fella, or, like, a Gaffaw. He really gaffed that. Because that's the first… Or another bowel movement. Yeah. They call him the Movement. That seems inappropriate. We like to call him Flow for short. I could have said, like, the effort or something. There it goes. Hey, mention the bowel movement. Two people just left. Somebody just came back on. They told their wife they were getting off because they wouldn't want to be a part of it, but now they jump back on. That's my guess of what happened. Yeah, they're talking about bowel movements. I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to come back on. Did they call it the Movement? I totally called that.

Hey, honey, will you call me the Gaff? So, are you guys still in a worship band now? These two are. Jared and Ricky sometimes. Jared and I play at Point of Grace quite often. Do you? Yes. Play for the high schoolers. When's that service at? Sunday nights. Well, actually, they have two services in the morning. Sunday morning. Running concurrent with a big service in the big room. And then they have an evening service kind of geared to the high school crowd. It starts about 5 o'clock. Okay, cool. Yes. Cool. And you've never hit an animal with your vehicle? I bet you have. I'm not going to disclose that information. You're not willing to say it. Come on, Jimmy. What happened? Tell us. There's a bunch of bugs splattered off the front of my car. Oh, that's horrible. Those are an animal.

Massacre. And an elk. PETA doesn't think that, though. PETA is a little confused. I'll tell you what happened. So, there was a possum. Wait, possum or opossum? I've got to look it up every time. Anyway. Well, it's spelled O, but it's a silent O. No, I think they're two separate animals. Do you spell it P-A-U or P-A-W? Awesome. I think it's O. I think it's O. Yeah, it's O-S. Jimmy, you're going to lose that microphone. I'm just asking for clarification here. Hold on a second. I'm going to take this. Opossums are the largest order of marsupials in the Western Hemisphere. Oh, wait. Okay. They're also commonly called possums, though that term is also applied to Australian fauna or the suborder Phalangiformis. The Virginia opossum was the first animal to be named an opossum. Oh, take it. The word opossum comes from the Algonquin Wapathemwa, meaning white dog.

I did not know that. It doesn't look much like a dog. It looks like a rat. Dude, never let the phylums be set by a drunkard. He's three sheets. Maybe he can help us out with the phyla. Anyway, so there's the opossum. It was outside of our place. And I let the dogs out. Of course, I didn't know this opossum was out there. And I see we got two dogs, one skinny and one real tub of a dog. So the fat one goes tearing out and goes rolling under the deck. And I don't know how she fits under the deck being so fat. But she got under there, which tells me she was after something. So she comes running out looking guilty. So I go check it out. And sure enough, there's an opossum. He's dead. I mean, it's got him, right? So I kind of got it by the tail. And I drug it out a little bit. And you could kind of see it. I thought it was dead, but it wasn't. You could see it kind of, you know, a little bit of a movement. And I thought, man, it's pretty much dead, but it's not quite dead. And so the woman goes, you've got to kill it. You've got to kill that opossum. You can't let him sit there like that.

And I said, man, what am I going to do? I was thinking I could run him over. I had a car back there. So I thought maybe I'll just run him over with the car. That would be gentle. And she said, well, her other option was to, like, beat it with a stick. And, boy, that seemed a little bit vicious. Like, I'm sorry my dog's got you. Finish you off. That seemed totally unnecessary. So, like, I debated this thing for 45 minutes. Like, I've got to go kill it. Of course, my decision was I'm going to pick it up by the tail and just hurl it over the fence and let it die over there. Because I thought, well, at least I don't have to look at it and feel bad. So, anyway, so I finally decided I'm going to run it over with the car. This is the way to go. I'm just going to slowly roll over it. What? Are you voting for the bat? That's what you would have done? Slowly run over it. Neither of them sound. That'll take him out way quicker than me, like, beating him up with a bat. I'll do it quickly. And they come out your eyes. Talk about bowel movements. Okay, so anyway.

So, anyway, so then I go out there and he's gone. He was playing possum. He was playing possum. 45 minutes I didn't think that, hey, maybe he got up and left because that's where it comes from. I met the man that originated the act, and there he goes. He took off. So there it is. I was absent a white dog. You know, what you should have done is performed CPR on the thing. Yeah. I don't know how to nurture her back to health. They have freaky teeth. They have snarly old performed CPR on the thing. How would you do that? That's why you stick your gun, Jimmy. I love you. I love you. Don't leave me. They're right. They're not. Don't leave me, Sammy. Okay. Oh. Oh, you had the same thing in the chest. So someone had to finish one off with a shovel that the dog caught in the yard. How do you know it wasn't playing possum? You might have just, your husband might have just took out a possum with a shovel.

It won't be after that. That's true. He's done now. Play possum with me. I see you straight through your axe. Yeah. I'm on to you. You're being disingenuous with me, possum, and I don't like it. I caught one in a live trap about a year ago because it was like under our house and I debated taking the revolver out and just… Oh, for heaven, Jake said he had a revolver. I feel more like a man with a revolver. But I took it out to a cornfield and just let him go alive. So some farmer's mad at me. I had to get his revolver out. What? I didn't say anything. You have that look. Wait a minute. You picked up this caged possum? Was he playing dead inside the cage? No, no. He was very upset with me. He was snarling at me. And you like picked him up and put him into your car? I put him in the back of my car. In the back seat? That would be wild.

Well, in the back of my Durango. He snapped his neck. Man. These people's chat is harsh. They are harsh. See, I let him go alive. I said, goodbye, goodbye. And he waved. When I was younger, I did find a dead possum in the backyard. And my dad had to make me go get rid of it. So I had to grab a stick and I smacked it on its tail. And it literally just rolled up on the tail. Oh, man. You could carry it by the stick. Because it was rolled up. Or roast it. Just kidding. You're debating. Slow roast. Get it right there. Get an arrow. I hope I'm never injured by one of you guys' house. Well, he's mostly dead. Did we use the car or a shovel? Get him with a shovel. Are you kidding me? Get him to hang on a stick. And then carry him away like some kind of Indonesian slave man.

Snap his neck. That'll quiet him. You guys are terrible. Yeah. Yeah. That is terrible. Of course, I was going to run over with the car. I'm no better. Yeah, you were going to hit me with the car. Yeah, I'm no better. Hey, my car broke down. Get in a trap. What do you mean? Have you, has anybody had like an animal kind of like bedevil their house? Like hang around and creep about and freak your animals out and stuff? In our attic, we had a raccoon. Oh, at the ministry center? That's right. No, at our house. Oh, in your house? That's how we thought it was outside. And that's how we did the live trap first. And we thought, okay, we got rid of this dude. And the next day, see, and it was like it would crawl up the side of our house right next to our bed. And we'd hear this, you know, going up to the side. Then we'd hear it in the attic bumping around. We're like, what is this thing?

So I put a webcam up there. And if I'd heard, I had lights all hooked up so I could just flip on a switch and the whole attic would light up and the webcam would be on. Wow. You know, Daniel, here's the thing. Is you go from a guy that wants to bust your revolver out to shoot a caged possum. And then instead of going and checking out the raccoon situation, you throw a webcam up? Well, I also threw a, what do you call it, a claw trap. So I didn't know it could have been bats. So I had mouse traps. I had the live cage. And I also had the claw trap. I had everything up there. So that attic was wired for sound. It was wired for everything. Nobody wants to go up in that attic. And we finally found out it was a raccoon because it got in the claw trap. And then it was thumping around. And I had it attached to a board so it wouldn't go anywhere. Well, then it started dragging the board around. And then it started chewing through its foot. And I'm like, okay, we don't want that going on because, you know, it's good. He was eating through his own foot? Absolutely. Free themselves. And so we got a friend with a pellet gun. See, if I used anything I had, it'd go through our house into the neighbor's house.

That would be negative. So that doesn't go over well. So we brought our buddy over with a pellet gun and he went up there and finished her off. What? Hey, Steve, you still got that pellet gun? Don't ask any questions, but can you bring it over? I got kind of a deal going on at my place. If you go to www.raccoonintheattic.com, you'll see what I got going. We tried all the humane ways. We called all the people. They're like, no, we don't come and do houses. And I'm like, well, what am I supposed to do? Well, I don't know. It's like, okay, then I'll take care of her. So you called a buddy. Well, first I did my, you know, half-hearted attempt that only hurt more. What would you do, Ben? What do you mean? What's your solution? If you find a raccoon in your attic, what would you do? I would drag it out. They can do all kinds of damage. What do you mean? Yeah, I would take… Can you fit the cage out of the hole that's in the attic? Yeah, because you got it up there. Well, see, what he had done is he got on there and I had peanut butter, I think it was, for my bait.

And it had somehow got the peanut butter out without releasing the trap. And, I mean, it was like, it was a smart little booger. That's why I thought, well, maybe it's bats. Maybe they're flying in there, getting their little snacks and going off. And I was reading all the stuff. I thought it was a squirrel originally. I mean, I just had no idea. It's no idea. Every animal known to me is coming in your attic. You know what's not a squirrel, it's not a bat. It's got to be a cheetah. It's got to be. They're fast. They're kind of slick. I could have sworn I saw a giraffe in the neighborhood. I had a bat in my place. And I ended up having the cat go after her. Like, I don't know if you've seen these things, but they are rats with wings, man. I mean, they are gross. They're like protected, aren't they? What do you mean, bats? Yeah, I don't know. I don't think you're supposed to kill them. Well, whatever. They came to my house. There's a hole in my ceiling in the attic. This one comes rocking through. So, me and the dog, I get the dog as my sidekick.

Because the wife don't want to help me. And the cats are busy chasing some other animal. So, I think me and the dog are going to do it. So, me and the dog get this thing trapped in there. And he's worthless, you know. Like, the bat will fly by him. And then, like, three seconds later, he'll jump and take a snap. Like, he'll get you. Like, he just about, you know. He's worthless. So, finally, I get a tennis racket. And I kind of bounce him between two tennis rackets and force him back up in the hole he came out of. And then he came right back down. And then I had to have the cats. The cat actually caught him and drug him outside. My father-in-law once. They had a bat. It was years ago. Tennis racket, that little thing. Killed it. Smashed it. Wrapped it in paper. Used a hammer. Smashed it. Blood splattered. Blah, blah, blah. Wrapped it up, like, multiple times. Okay.

And the next day. That's really gross. It was really gross. The next day, I don't know, somebody else came in. Oh, they wanted to see the bat. So, he unwrapped it. It was gone. It was a vampire. That's what it was like. It was a total mystery. It was like, I didn't see it ever, so I don't know. But it was like, the way they described it, it was like, it was no way it could have gotten out of there, you know. But it was gone. Maybe Scooby-Doo, Fred, and Gaffney over here can help you find out what happened to him. Maybe it's at your house. Maybe. Maybe it is. We did have bats when we lived together in the attic. And I actually slept in the attic. That was my room. That would freak me out. It was kind of creepy. There was one night where I was sleeping. And I woke up and I heard some coming through my room. And I turned the light on. And there was a bat just going around my head. And I'm like, if you touch me, I'll kill you. Other than that, we're fine?

Yeah. And I went back to sleep. It was gone when I woke up. And then there was another, the next night, it was flying around. And I went upstairs to my room and it was flying around. And I was like, I'm not going to sleep with you in here tonight. So I grabbed my kendo sword. And I just stood there and waited for it. I stood there and waited for it to find me. And I just, I smacked it right when it passed me. And it just went down. And I didn't hit it hard enough to kill it. And I just kind of took a blanket and pushed it outside my balcony. Yeah. And then it flew away. You know, I think, though, I like the way, like, everyone else is like, I instantly violenced it. And you at least said, if you come near me, I'm going to kill you. And he went away. And then he came near you the next night and you hit him with a sword. Exactly. So I think you gave him plenty of opportunity to straighten out his ways. I did. I would have bought one of those little princess things over my bed. Just, you know, a little letting. Is that what you want to use for an excuse while you have that princess thing? It's for the bats. Yeah, there's bats here. And magical times.

Mosquitoes. My balcony did have a, it was like a triangle. And it was really, like, dark and shady in that triangle. And that's where it would land all the time when it was just flying around. So it was kind of like it's home. And then I did have a mousetrap on the floor. And one of them got stuck on the mousetrap. It's like, what bat crawls around on the ground? Yeah, really? Look at that. Snip. Behind my dresser, for all means. What are you doing back there? You deserve to die. I put that trap there just for this situation. I don't know what I thought was going to be behind there. But if something's behind my dresser, I want to know about it. I don't know. I don't know, Daniel. I don't know. Bats are creepy. You remember when that mousse was on the loose in Altoona about 10? What, has that been almost 20 years ago? Was that tuna? 20 years ago? I remember a mousse somewhere. Maxwell the mousse. Weird.

I was probably two years old then. Mike's getting kind of old. Yeah. I believe they called the Dan in on that one. Actually, there has been a wide question on the chat as to why the Dan hasn't been taking care of these wild animals that are around, like, single-handedly. Maybe in the dark of night, he does. Do you subtract them away? I just change their name, and they leave. You're now a firefly. Be gone. I'm embarrassing. Whatever. So here's the deal. Dan, are you any good at checkers? I'm okay. What do you mean by that? I mean, I don't play a whole lot. I can't say. Are you red or black? Red or black? I either. Do you know how the game works? Yeah. I don't think you've noticed how checkers work. I've played my fair share of five-year-olds. Do you usually get the… What's your first move?

Forward. Very nice. With what piece? Whichever one I happen to be having. You don't know checkers. I don't pay attention. You think checkers is Hungry Hungry Hippos. You don't know what game it is. I use the little marble, the little red marble. I'm fairly certain that you play Hungry Hippos, and about two times you hit the hippo and go, Man, I'm hungry. Break. Popcorn. Let's play Hungry Hungry Dan. It's much more fun. It's for all ages, and it only needs one player. Oh, man, there it was. This is what I was looking for while we were trying to do the math. I'm going to be by the Proclaimers. I would walk up. Bye, Butterball. You don't know who I'm going to be. I'm going to be. That's what I was… Oh, man. Yeah, this really would have brought it home. I know. That would have turned that whole math to Balkan into something solid.

That's YouTube material right there. What a bummer. I can't find a live video feed of an opossum. Shocking. You didn't save the webcam footage from… I have pictures. Not on this… I don't think it's on this computer. Where's my other computer? Tell me you have a file that says Raccoon. It was Cheryl's laptop. I didn't have this computer yet. Yeah, bummer. You should start your own web show. What's in your attic.com. You got an attic? It turns out it's your Uncle Billy. There he is. Hey, Bill. Dude, that would be creepy if you put that webcam and stuff up there, and then late at night you were monitoring it, and all of a sudden you heard, Hey, is that a brownie? You know? Seriously, pass me that brownie, dude. No way. These cosmic brownies last for years. You've been listening to Life in the Past on Des Moines Amplified.

Really nothing to salvage from this whole show, is there? Except for the music. It's on the outs. We're lucky these dudes were here. We had a… This is a sleeping on the couch night is what it is. I'm going to go home and be like, well, the woman's not even a bitch marrying me. Not after that, the discussion about never using her name, calling her the woman, running over the possums with the vehicle. And the bowel movements. Yeah. The movement. Not going to happen. Hey, you know, I told the woman that I wish I had picked the nickname The Situation. She says it's terrible. Have you heard about this guy? Yeah. No. Okay, so… Mike The Situation? Yeah. Yeah. From Jersey Shore. Yeah, so I don't even know what this show is or what it's about. But I saw this guy on TV and his name came up as something The Situation and then his last name. And I thought, that is the coolest nickname I've ever heard. I'm The Situation?

Yeah. You know? Matter of fact, I think the nickname… Wait, his body parts are called The Situation? This is you. Is this me? Woppy! I've got it! Hey! The Situation. It's too popular right now. I can't take it. How long do you think before this guy goes out of favor that I can take his The Situation nickname? You should outdo him. Be like the Escalation or something like that. Ooh. Improvisation. Just kidding. I'm the by the right name. I'm going to start going out of the name, by the right name. Just pick anything and add T-I-O in at the end of it. By the right name, Shin. I'm going to be The Situation and friends. Beat that, just The Situation. He looks pretty big, though. I'm pretty sure he could. Please don't take the gaff. That's all I have.

That's the only thing I can salvage from my life is that I had high school glory. Of the gaff? Yeah, seriously. Let's say I came up to you and I said… I can't believe we're talking about this again. No, no. Just hold on. I need a filler story. In case I get this going, I need to be able to figure out what to say. So if someone says, hey, man, what's your name? He said, my name's Ben, but they call me The Gaff from the glory days. Now, without any other information, what did I do to get the nickname? What kind of dramatic sports moment was I involved in in high school as The Gaff? You got wrapped up in the tennis ball court or net on accident. That's not glory. That's why you're called The Gaff. The Gaff. That's usually a bad thing. It's like you scored for the wrong team or something. But my name is Gaffney. That's where the nickname comes from. Gaffney is a girl's name. Yes. I'm going to be honest with you. That's why I go by The Gaff. Yeah. You got caught in the tennis ball then. No, no.

So here was the play. Okay. I played lacrosse. I was a part of the first men's lacrosse team. My high school had only done women's lacrosse for like 30 years. And I broke the gender barrier. And we did men's lacrosse. Okay. It was in the final. We were in the finals, heading to the game, into the finals. And all of a sudden, everyone got in a kayaking accident except for me. And so we had to bring in the ladies from the ladies team to face these dudes in our lacrosse. So it was the dudes team from the west side of town. And then me and however many other ladies it takes to fill out a lacrosse team. So basically, for dudes, it was Gaffney or the gaff versus everybody else. Okay. And then a moment of glory, I scooped it. I scooped it up because that's what you do in lacrosse. You scoop it. And I dodged one guy. And I dodged another. And then a lady came up because she was trying to sabotage her effort. She was one of the more butch ladies who could take me out. And so I thought she was going to come up and tackle me. But instead, she tried to give me the tickles under the armpits. One of the ooskies. Ooskies. Right.

You guys tried to oosk me. Hey, do you guys know oosk? No. No? Not familiar? You yawn or something and someone goes oosk and like stabs you in the armpit area? No. We have something similar. It's gravies. People are just sitting there and you tap them in the back of the knees. And then they fall over. You go, gravies. It's like cow tipping. Buckle their knees. How is it like cow tipping? Have you ever tried to buckle a cow at the knees? I've never done a thing. That's outrageous. I'm going to hear the rest of this Gaff story. I'm on the edge of my seat. Why do you call it gravies, though? Because your knees get like gravy. And it's like gravity. Yeah. I don't like how you guys always have another meaning for stuff. I'm a pretty black and white fellow. They use their own words very freely. Yeah.

You don't realize it's the three of you. Yeah. I don't do things in the ethereal. Black and white. It's all I got. You said knees like gravy. I go, yeah. Anyway. And then you show up with something like gravity. I go, I'm lost completely again. I had it and then it was gone. Gravity. Anyway, this lacrosse back Barbara comes running back behind me. And so far, you're playing on a woman's lacrosse team. No, it's a dude's lacrosse. Hold on. Let me sum up the story. Under the name The Gaff, you've avoided two fellas and now you're in a confrontation with a woman on your own team. Which one? Go. She's giving you the ooskies. It's just me. Yeah, this is awesome. It's just me and these other ladies from the lacrosse team. No more dudes. In the stand watching the whole thing go down. That's it. Nobody else would go.

It's lacrosse. No, no. There was a lot of people there cheering on The Gaff. They said, go, go, Gaff. They treated like I was Inspector Gadget. Go, go, Gaff. Okay. So anyway, so I'm rolling down. Okay. Barbara tries to give me the ooskies. Big Barb. We call her. She tries to give me the ooskies. Big Barb, the homecoming queen. So she gives me the ooskies. And I kind of fall for a little bit. And then I whip my left leg around. And I give her the sweep. And she goes, I mean, slow motion style. She goes down. Okay. And you hear a rumble. And when she hits the ground, the lacrosse ball falls out of my net. And then I go diving for it against this other dude on the other team. We butt heads. Okay. We both kind of pass out. And everyone stops to play.

Okay. And then the play is technically over. They call the ball dead. The ref picks out the shovel. Okay. I come to, not realizing the play is done. I see the lacrosse ball. I pick it up. I mean, and I long stride it in to the net. And I shoot it in. And it doesn't count at all. Because there was a timeout. Because I had been injured. But I did not know that. I had been knocked out. Okay. So that was the glory. That's the video footage they got. And they played it on the school video footage. The news of me striding in there. And I mean, I was celebrating. Because I thought I just won the game. And I had not. You won the timeout. But I, yeah. You won the timeout. No, and then I was walking back to the bench. Defeat.

Like, once I finally realized it. I was feeling defeated. And Barb came by. And she put her sweaty, hairy arm around my neck. And then she tapped me on the shoulder. And I turned this way. And she wasn't there anymore. And then she gave me the gravies. And I fell down. And that was pretty much the end of my lacrosse career. I didn't recover from that. Thank you. I'm pretty sure that I would trade both of my elbows to never hear that story. I mean, straight up. I'd remove them myself. And then I would package them up and send them wherever I got to send them. To never have to hear that story again. That's definitely going on the YouTube channel. This is a mistake. I haven't been picked a YouTube content. Exactly. You know what's gold? Oh, this one's golden. Me and Big Barb. Hey, you remember that? Hey, I really wish. I don't know any barbs that aren't the description that I gave in this cross game. Bacon gives gravies?

Yeah. Yeah. Like, that could otherwise take me on. Do you ever do the ooski? We will now. Sounds fine. Oh, man. Anyway. I mean, I've had it done, but I didn't know it was called the ooski. Well, apparently it's just called the oosk. Oosk. Yeah, we had a gal in here last week that's going off to college and she's playing… From Kentucky. Yeah. That's what they call it in Kentucky. Maybe that's just what they do in Kentucky. They call it. They oosk everybody? Wait a minute. Yeah, apparently that's the big deal. You've got to wait them out. What if no one's tired? Everyone's like itching to do it. No one has to yawn. Like, man, I'm getting tired. Okay. And then they all hover around Jim. Hey, you know the time to do it is you put out a piñata.

Putting out a piñata, people are going to go for it. And then you can get them with… Make it empty. Yeah, or like a concert. Well, you'd get some real trouble at a concert. Yeah. I'm pretty sure you would be there very long. Yeah, our concert. It was like, yay. Yeah. Yeah, that's what we're going to do. We're going to go to your guys' show and oosk people. Yeah, there you go. I'm pretty sure that's a simple assault, if done in the wrong crowd. Would you say your crowds are violent? No. Were they pretty friendly to, say, an oosk or a gravy? Yeah, it might be oosk slash gravy friendly. Although you may get it back done to you. You will. Well, they're not going to catch me. If I gravy somebody, I'm up against the wall for the rest of the night. But if you do both, you can oosk them, and then when they recoil, you're gravy. And they're on the floor. I think if you're going to do it, you've got to announce it. You've got to go, oosk gravy. And then haul. You're out.

You're done. Yeah, done. I agree. Grab the wall. Is there anything to do? Because people take a little bit of time to recover. Is there anything to, like, how would you strut away? Like, if you pulled off the double O, right? The oosk, like with two O's, and then the double G. Double O, double G. Okay, oosk, gravies. And then how do you strut away from that? I think you've got to strut backwards. Let me see it. Locomotive. Yeah, you've got to do. Yeah. Yeah. And then you hit the wall. You know what's going to happen? The bad thing is, is that your entire crowd will be on the wall. There will be no one dancing or cheering because no one wants to get oosk or gravied. And then we'll just be hugging the wall all night, waiting for another guy to make the mistake of walking in the door. Sure is a bummer crowd tonight. You know what would be real awkward is if you got zerbited by, like, a grown man. He came up. He said, hey, how you doing?

You've got to be kidding me. Did you just do that? You promised me that would never happen again. Sorry. Can you turn around for the gravies? Seriously. I don't understand the position these people are in to get the gravies. Like, standing up straight with their knees locked is the best. Well, but you do it with your hands, right? Yeah. So don't you have to, like, kick the back. I mean, you don't have to get both knees at the same time, but the funniest is when they go down from it. You just kind of… The feet. Well, actually, two feet would be wild. If you, like, jumped in the air and, like, graveyed them with your two legs. Kick the back of the knee. Or if you did with one leg and one arm, like, that would be awkward. I'd like to see the American Dream Dusty Rhodes gravy somebody in WWF wrestling. You remember him? You're off kick him in the back of the knees? Yeah, he's at Dusty Rhodes. Gravy. Hulk Hogan's coming after him. They've been wrestling for an hour. Dusty Rhodes dropped down to one knee. Gravy.

Hogan's down. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to make of it. It's the weirdest movie you've ever seen. I'm trying to think of an opportunity as a, you know, a grown man. Yeah. Of when I might gravy somebody. Do you do that at work? Don't fire me directly. There's no doubt. Well, then you look at the guy next to you like, what'd you do that for? Yeah. No doubt. Hey, do it at the library. A busy line. Yeah. What are they going to do? Did you just hit me in the back of the knee? No? I've been staying here. You know what? You could do it at the grocery store. And waiting to check out and just start graving people. And as they look back, they'll think it's the guy behind them because you've done the slip. You've got an extension on your shopping cart. It just sticks out just a little bit and just kind of. Yeah. They'll say, what happened?

Nothing. Don't touch my dog food, dude. Quit looking at me. Turn around. You know, I don't know. You're playing this off a little too easy. I think I would have a hard time being convinced that you didn't just clock me in the back of the legs. It's like if you were to give me the gravy while I'm at the store and I turn around, and you're like, no, dude, I don't know what happened. Just going around here for 25 feet. Oh, well, I checked it out and I couldn't figure out what happened, so I turn around and head back the other way. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't let it go that easy. What's the last time that you oozed somebody or gravied? I don't know. Was it today? Would you say you gravy at least once a week or so? Oh, yeah, definitely. I try to. Make it a personal goal at least once a week. Sure. I get my brother a lot. But if a complete stranger gravies you, I mean, how do you respond to that? With an oosk. Because they're usually like, yes! It's like rock, paper, scissors. That's how it happens on the street.

That's how we roll. If you don't respond with an oosk, you're yellow. You've got to have something to beat the oosk. What can beat the oosk? A hair pull. That's awful. Maybe it's because it doesn't have a cool name. Call it the Willie. We're not calling it the Willie. How about the double Jackson? The double Jackson's kind of cool. Or the slim pickets. What's double about it? You go with two hands. So a single Jackson is one hand? Yeah. So you could, in all essence, do a single Jackson oosk? Yeah. If you single Jackson him, and then he goes, whoo! And then you give him the oosk. Cartoon beach style from the… And then you could use one foot to give him a gravy. Gravy when they turn around and run away cowardly. Actually, this is the way to do it. Because when he tries to report it to police, he's going to have a hard time doing it. He's like, well, officer, he gave me a double Jackson. And then followed up with a slim pickets and a gravy. It was him.

That guy over there. He's like, gravy, though. Get in the car, sir. I need you to blow into this tube. What's up? Buddy, give me the double Jackson, the slim pickets, and the gravy, son. Where do you live, son? 23-85 oosk. Did we decide how you spelled that? Oosk? Yeah. I think it's O-O-S-K. O-O-S-K is out. I'm going to see if it's on the Wikipedia. Hey, man, you see that guy from Wikipedia that had big troubles? No. Did you see that? What kind of troubles can you have? It was the guy that was going to release the government documents. Oh, that's the, uh, that's not Wikipedia. That's, uh. No, that's WikiLeaks. I don't know the computer or anything like that. I like Wiki everything nowadays. Okay, here we go. The Urban Dictionary, oosk, is to get dominated beyond belief. I wouldn't know that. Okay.

This, hold on. The second item is, oh, this is even better. A term created by stoners to identify when someone steals, cheats, cheats is spelled incorrectly, or lies, period, lowercase, and to signify their stupidity. Three to pawn, four to get pawned, steal someone's kill in either Mario Kart, or kill someone in Mario Kart 7. Okay, here we go. Here's the options. I can't say that one. Dude, you just triple oosk me with your, wait, that's roosk. That's not right. The test, no, no, I can't say that either. I roosted you in the face with that snowball. That's not right. Yeah, you got totally dominated beyond belief. Yeah, but I think, I think that's roosk. They just came up under, like, one of the search terms was oosk, but the word is actually roosk. Ah, if I've been cheated by the Urban Dictionary. Cheated, spelled wrong. Hey, stay away from that Urban Dictionary. There's some questionable material in there. Is it foul? Oosk on, okay, here we go. Hold on. Hold on. I've got you now. Here's a Wookieopedia. Wookie. Here we go.

It can be found on starwars.wikia.com backslash wiki backslash oosk. Oosk was a patron of Vanster Eden's Sop House during Gadren's celebration for the 200th anniversary of the city's foundings. He spent most of the day arm wrestling with Veruca. Despite the Wookiee's greater strength, Oosk won about half the time, but Nance gave 3-1 odds against him. So it's a Wookiee. Was that all, was that in the Star Wars movie? I, I, I, yeah. I don't remember any arm wrestling Wookiees. Yeah. It was in the books. Any arm wrestling. Yeah. At all. That's probably the book. Anyway, I don't know, I'm not really, there's Zeus, because that's a dating website. Online dating and personal. I've never been on one. Of course, you know, I've been married. No, you haven't even filled out an online dating? I've done it since I've been married. Hey, I want to see who would respond to me. Actually, I didn't do that because I was afraid that I would get no responses and my wife would understand that she made a terrible decision. She does not need more. Hey, here's a guy on Facebook. Pat Oosk Egger.

E-G-E-R. See if you can friend him. I can't get into that for some reason today. Okay, I'll see if I can friend him. We're going to see if we can become friends. Wait, Order of Shadow Knights. I like your name. Brian, okay. I can't even get these guys to be my friends. Yeah, what's the deal with my friends, fellas? I haven't been on Facebook a couple days. Yeah, that's what everybody always says to me. Oh, I haven't been on for a while. I don't know what my current status is. No, really. I don't friend guys in Hawaiian shirts. Passing out stickers and stuff. Promoting our show. Do you guys have stickers? Yeah, free stickers, yeah. Do you have them on you? They're in my satchel. I got one. I have one. Hey. Never introduce something that's been in your satchel. Oosk. It's in my satchel.

Dude, I couldn't pull off a satchel. I tried it. I bought a man bag one time, and I thought I was going to carry stuff in it. I can't do it, dude. I just can't do it. I don't look cool doing it. I look like a lady that grew her haircut and grew a mustache. Like that 7-Eleven gal? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That one lady that licked me in the face? Yeah, that's what we're talking about. Barb. Barb. Big Barb. Big Barb. Big Barb. The lacrosse player. Hey, so do you guys have any shows booked after the House of Bricks CD release party? Oh, we're booking a bunch right now. They're not listed, but we're talking to a bunch of people. So we should be booked at least one or two shows, maybe three shows a month until December. So what do you guys do when you're not, you know, here? Sleep. Work. Work. Yeah, yeah. Go to Iowa State.

Yeah. Iowa State? Oh, yeah? Just sit. He's the only one with an education. What do you got going? What do you got going, Jimmy? What are we going to be? Yeah, as you can see, it's Matt. He's a major. Jimmy, I didn't show a major in the algebra. For you, I see a lot of alumni that are part of my uneducated. We are the right people. Now, I'm going to Iowa State for finance and management information systems. Yes, I know you're already snoring. Sorry. What do you think of gold right now? Yeah, where are we at in that gold coming? You did not jump in. I did not jump in because I was not. I'm honestly ignorant. I don't know. He's not lying. He doesn't know anything about anything. You're more educated than I. You can make it sound educated, and I'd be like, oh, that's cool. Well, gold is a hit, and I shouldn't do this. Okay, I won't do it.

Do you have a license yet? Yes. No. Can we use this against you in the future if you want a license? What do you think about gold? Let's have it. Come on, Ricky. How should we invest? We need your two cents on gold. Disclaimer. None of this is expert opinion. And past performance is no guarantee. Future returns. The gold minute with Ricky. Go ahead. I think gold is a solid investment. I also think that… Unless it goes down. Well, I think when you purchase it, I guess it's like anything else. I mean, it's like real estate. It's the best time to buy a house right now. Yeah. House values are down. They're a little cheaper. You can get more house for a lot less than you would… Great interest rates. That too. But then, I mean, you always run into the problem of, you know, money not being as worth much down the line than it is today.

Why am I being put on the spot? Do you think gold hedges inflation? No. Yeah. What school do you go to? So, I'm really feeling like I should get in the Iowa State finance program. That would really help me out a lot. Okay. This has been the gold minute with Jimmy. Very silver. Are you done scratching yourself or whatever the deal is that you turn the camera away? Can I put it back on you? Did we get that done? Do you want it on me? If I turn the camera away from me, it's because I'm picking my nose. So, I'd assume you were doing the same thing. Yeah, I'm good. Okay. He was searching for gold. Yeah. I was not picking my nose. Searching for gold. You know who's been so quiet this whole time? Jared has. So, he… He's a quiet one in the bench. Maybe he could say a couple things. You don't feel good.

What he's up to. He's not feeling well. Hey. I run the show here, Jimmy. Maybe he has… Maybe he has way more input about the gold minute. You don't care to pass the conversation on to people. I say, and then here's Jimmy, and then you start to speak. Pardon my infringement, then. Jared, do you have anything to say? I'm totally getting you a show whether you like it or not. Late night with Jimmy. What kind of stuff are you guys looking for? I mean, you do obviously the House of Bricks type of thing, but when you travel to churches, would you… I mean, what are you… Camps? I mean, what's your ultimate goal? Are you just going to open for Need to Breathe next time they're here? That would be nice. Ultimate goal is to hopefully make a substantial living from doing what we love to do. You know? Like, we don't want to become famous. We don't want to become, like, filthy rich. And we don't want to… We want the music to become famous. We want the tunes to become known. Not us.

So, we just… Well, if you use Mike's name on it… Not a problem. Change it to… Buy it. Mike's name. That works. That's what it's supposed to be. I think that's what it really is. People get that. I'm still confused. Yeah, we just want our music to be known, you know? Because it's got good stories in it, I think. So, how do you do that? I mean, I know you're in the beginning stages. So, you just try to do things, you know, get known as much as possible. Get out and do stuff. Talk to people. Yeah. That kind of thing. Yeah, promote. Stickers. Yeah, we went to the fair and to a bunch of malls. Did you play at the fair? No. You just went to the fair. I went to the fair, too, but that didn't really do me much. I had a corn dog.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I did. Walked around, got sore legs. We're looking at the edges of my phone in my face. Check, check. So, yeah, we're going to promote some more. We're going to hopefully get on the road next summer. Cool. To the region, at least. Awesome. The states around us. I don't believe it. Yeah. Get out of the state, at least. Right. We have a bus or a van or something? We're working on it. Do you have one? Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to need to borrow it? Whoa. Oh, yeah, totally. Yes. Seriously. If you need to borrow a van, let me know. Look up Mike. We have a van.

Buy Mike's van. Buy Mike's van name. We'll take it. Jimmy, you're not allowed in the van. You have to get a sidecar for him. Okay, I'm just kidding. Jimmy, you can be the man. So, I got this building. There's the guy. I got this building I'm working on. What is that? Yeah, yeah. So, if we get this building we're going to use for bands and stuff, you guys would come and play. Oh, totally. We're always looking for new venues. What building do you have? I can't really say it on the air. I haven't talked to you about that yet. It's a new one. Ooh. Okay. Better not be your backyard again. I'm totally not going to his backyard to listen to stuff. He's got a possum. He's got a possum hunt. That's terrible. Be careful of the traps.

Have you guys ever had any run-in with owls? Yeah. Owls. They live outside my room. What do you mean? Why do all these animals come to your room? I don't know. Raccoons and owls. Because I had a giant tree outside the attic that we lived in and they used to… It was a giant tree and… That attic, man. It was creepy. It was a zoo. That would be a series of books. Yeah, man, your parents are terrible. Well, no. This was when we lived together in a blue house. Go to the creepy attic. We lived in a house with seven guys. In the Drake neighborhood. Seven total guys. Like three stories. It was crazy. And the third story was just my room. It was like the size of the downstairs. The downfall was no air or heat, so… Right. Is that a musician thing?

Because you guys did the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. It was like all these guys get all together and like 15 people live in a little house and they don't have heating and cooling and water. Everybody else did. It was just me. Back practice in the room downstairs. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I'm glad I'm not a musician. Yeah, it's tough for the first couple years. That's the truth. It's pretty rough. Yeah, it was interesting. They kept me up some nights because they were just hooting away. The owls or the people downstairs? The band. But then there was also an incident with some squirrels. They like to climb around and just me and Amy were just sitting up in my room and we were talking and we looked out the window and there's two squirrels doing things on a branch. Oosk. They were oosking, but a different oosk. Very awkward. Bummer. I'm just kidding. They didn't have blinds.

No wonder the owls, man. You ain't doing that here. Take that out of here. It was the most awkward thing I've experienced in that room. Yeah, I'd say so. I would hope so. I hope it doesn't get any worse. Until one day there were two hippopotamuses in the tree. I said, you've got to be kidding me. They were gambling. One was playing blackjack, one was dealing. Nothing awkward than two hippopotami playing a single man blackjack. I said, hit me. I won't do it. Is that the plural of hippopotamus? Yeah. Yes. Hippopotami? Uh-huh. Yep. Isn't it really? I don't know. It is tonight. It sounds right. It sounds right. If you say something with confidence, it's probably true. I played it across. What do you want me to do?

We've done nothing really spiritual tonight. Should I read a verse or something? What do you got, Dan? I don't have anything. Give me a word. I'll do a search. I'll read a random oosk. Oosk. Oosk in the Bible? Oosk. Hey, what time is it? Do we have time to go into something heavy or no? No, we've got two minutes. No heaviness. Sorry. There are no results for oosk in the Bible. I've got a good question for next week. We'll talk about it. Well, okay. Well, it's actually here. I'll give you a little bit of information about what we're shooting for next week. So here's what we're going to do. We didn't get any calls in this week, so we'll try to get to your calls. Oh, man. We had dating advice and everything. I know. We'll get to your calls next week. I would also like to see, we're going to talk a little bit about serving, what you can

do to serve God, probably what you're not doing, and maybe the outlook you need to have to head that direction. It's weird that Dan had been talking about this lately. I actually ran into two or three things this week that kind of brought that back to my attention. So I think God's on it, so we better get on it. So we'll hit that next week. And we'll do three weeks from now, three weeks from today, we're going to do the man show. We're going to talk about the manly man. That's you, Dan. You're not the manly man, but you're responsible for the manly man. You're going to wear them white pants, Dan? I might. I'll get them out. Awesome. Yeah. So we're going to re-look at what the role of the man is in the world. I think we've lost some of that. So we're going to go back and look. You guys are the ones who wanted me to buy a foo-foo. Did you use it, Dan? I felt a little like I was cheating, but I used it this week. Pretty nice. I just felt like, I felt like, I don't know. You felt clean and refreshed. I felt kind of like a squirrel out on a tree limb. Oh, Daniel.

I was like, this isn't right. Do you guys use the scrubby thing for the loophole thingy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See? I used to. Jimmy's in. When I lived with all the guys, I was like, I don't want people using my soap and then like, where are the soap bins? And if you live with a bunch of guys, you know they all pee in the shower. Wait, did you write your name on that loofah? No, but. So everyone know it's yours? You know it's yours. Because, I mean, if you use it, you know where that loofah goes. You don't use other people's loofah. Yeah, yeah. It's like color-coating. They each had a different color. So, I never heard in my life of anybody peeing in the shower until I saw the movie a few years ago. The. And Amy comes out of nowhere. He was doing the soccer movie or whatever. And I'm like, seriously? Like, people pee in the shower?

That just kind of grossed me out. And then I've heard it. Ever since then, I've heard it multiple times. Like, it's like evidently normal. I know people that have done it. And then at the YMCA, I noticed in a group shower, there would be times I'd look at all these old men in the shower and I'm like, what's that? What is that running down the, uh, I was like, oh, that's disgusting. I thought you were going to say, that's an old man's butt. Unrecognizable. And he took out the loofah. It looks very sad. Oh, it's just disgusting. So I had to quit taking showers. I was like, it's like all these little yellow streams coming out. I was like, dude, this is a public shower. There's soap. There's soap. It's going down the drain, too. I'm walking on that. Can't the soap go down with it and just cover for him and say, hey, man, he's with me. All right. We're done here. I'm afraid we're going to have to tuck this, this, this manly beast up and hide her away from the world. You've been listening to Life from the Path on Des MoinesAmplified.com. By its right name has been in the studio tonight. Thanks so much, guys, for coming in.

Best of luck to you on Friday. Have a good time at your CD release. They'll be at the House of Bricks. It's five bucks to get in. It starts at five o'clock. And I'm guessing there's at least five hours worth of entertainment if I'm going to round out the new. And the CD's five dollars. Almost five. And the CD's five bucks. It sounds like they can be talked down to $4.50 by something I said earlier. So, you know, you really got to pressure them. And when you guys are really not famous, but your music is, we want you to come back and like autograph our shirts and stuff. I think we'll come back anytime. Anytime you guys want us. This is fun. All right. We'll come back on your ticket. You can take the pleasure. All right. So if you want to find us during the week, you can go to livefromthepath.org. Once you hit the website, if you want to pick out, if you want to sign up for the newsletter, that'd be great. Or you can get a hold of us at info at livefromthepath.org. You can visit the YouTube channel. Well, the link to our blog is out there. And we'd love to hear from you.

We will see you next week from 10 to midnight, broadcasting here on Des MoinesAmplified.com. Have a wonderful week.