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live from the path. You are listening to Live From The Past coming to you from The Pathway Studios here at Johnson Proper. My name is Ben Foust, the double minded man.

I I don't know that you wanna advertise that. Never gonna I know. I that's the problem is I kinda like it. Like, I think it sounds pretty cool, but it's not It's not. You kinda go right to James and go, no. That's not good. You know, that's where it's coming from. That's what it's honest, though. No one says, the Bible makes no promises that you will not be the double minded man. Just says don't be. It says, you know, avail yourself not to be, but Just stop it. But it's not gonna happen. Alright. Here we go. Here's what we got going on the show tonight. So I and I I don't know why this was well, I kinda know why this popped in my head. So the Real Men of Faith Conference is coming up here on on Friday. Bob Russell's gonna be gonna be talking. It's at Rising Sun Church of Christ. Starts at 07:00 in Pleasantville Pleasant Hill. And I I was kinda thinking about that conference because we've been there for the last few years. And it got me thinking about the modern the modern Christian man and

why we even have conferences like this. Like, we have to have a conference to try to straighten us out because we seem to be sometimes, frankly, a sorry lot of dudes who don't get much done. And so I thought, well, what is this what does a modern Christian dude look like? Like, what is the state of his affairs when he shows up to one of these things? How is he receiving some of this information that's happened at these men's conferences? And and is there, like, a root issue that we as a modern man have? So I started kinda thinking of I had some thoughts about how to describe the modern Christian man. Some of these reflect me. Some of these reflect just, you know, people that that that I've talked to, people that I've met, how they feel, how they think, that kind of thing. So I'm gonna I'll I'll bounce them off you guys, and then I want you to kinda, you know, peck up my list, see if it's right, see if you got anything to add, and see if we can narrow down. What's the what's if we had to create a portrait of the modern Christian man sitting in the pews, chairs, bleachers today in church, what does he look like? I've solved it during your intro. Okay. Oh, you're I'm not it's gonna be the ender. Okay. I'm alright. I'll be ready for it. It's the home run at the end. Alright. And then, you know, other thing I was thinking this week, and I saw saw quite a bit of articles and conversation talking about basically what to do with the Old Testament. How should we how should we treat this? A lot of times when we're introduced,

to the gospel, we're introduced to the New Testament, and we kinda just hang out there. And we talked about this as kind of a kind of a pyramid thing before. But as as guys that that are pursuing the heart of God, the question is is how how should we look at this? Through what lens, what filter do we do we look at the Old Testament,

and how does that impact your daily life? So I just wanna talk about that a little bit. And I got I got a I read a quote from a guy who was talking about the old testament this week that I thought was kind of interesting. And so I'll I'll give you a little bit of that, we can talk through that stuff. Also, we got some advice on dear life and the path. Mike's got some Pope style. I do have a little bit of Pope style. What's the what's the preview? What's the what's Pope style? It has to do with your family. It has to do with time, and it has to do with family. Okay. And so I'm gonna press hard on that button. Awesome. John Buba, did you have some Pope style as well? Yeah. Okay. Good. What's what's yours about? Hey. His preview was way better than mine. Yeah. I'm on the other side.

You get the whole deal when it happens. Oh, tasty. What a tease. Also, as a follow-up to something we talked about last week, we talked about the 10 men

that Christian women should never marry. I was I was one of them. Yes. Yeah. There was only nine on the list. John Buva was his own category as number 10. Don't feed John Buva. If you are this man,

avoid. And then there's a follow-up to that. It's eight women Christian men should never marry. Interesting. Eight women versus the 10 men. I could do. If there are categories of, like, defunct people not to deal with, there are more categories for the fellows than for the ladies. That's because we can be, defiant in more ways.

We're very clever at our laziness and disobedience. Yes. We are. And so, we categorize it in many different fashions. The ladies, you know, they they have their their their tendency to to roll astray, but they just don't put as much effort into it as we do. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So, anyway, that's that's where I go on with the show tonight. And if you wanna check us out during the week, you can go to lifefromthepath.org and check out past clips of the shows. Check out our sponsors. We're sponsored by both Westfield Veterinary Hospital here in Johnson for all your pet care needs. It's still pet dental month this month. Time to get on in there. And the Eisenhower team, and, Bob Eisenhower can help you buy or sell a home. It may or may not be the market for it. Bob knows better than I. Go to eisenhowerteam.com,

and he can help you out with that. Actually, I was just thinking about that today. If I was gonna sell my place, this is when I'd do it. Because what happened last week is it warmed up some, and the snow went away and revealed all my yard garbage that I didn't clean up last year. And I get home, and I'm like, oh, it looks like Jethro and his boys moved in around here. And then today, it snowed, and I'm like, yes, sir. That's how I keep the place pristine. It looks good. Everything's the same height again. All my tractor parts are covered up. It was it was great.

I, I I have this problem where every winter every winter, I promise myself to say, I'm not gonna drive over the snow. Alright? I'm gonna scoop it out before. So because if you drive on, it turns to ice. You'll never get it out of there. Because I got a cheap shovel. You know? It's not metal. It's plastic. Yeah. It curves up on one side. It doesn't crack stuff up at all. And so every every winter, like, no. I'm not gonna do And every winter, I get, like, two snows in, and then I go barreling through there. Yep. And then that ice time. Tracks of ice are gonna be that way until it melts. Yep. Life happened. What are you gonna do? Oh, man. And there's and my my sidewalks aren't even. So, like, even when stuff melts, all the water accumulates. And then I have, like, an ice skating rink for, like, the first few sections of my of my sidewalk.

And I and I just have to pray that the the kids ride the bus, and they get on sooner before they hit my sidewalk because they're gonna be a death in front of my house because I don't keep up I'm a tell you something. There ain't nothing that hurts my man pride more than when I hit a sidewalk that is that is cavalted up when I hit shoveling. Like, I'll shovel and then I'll hit it dead stop. And and, like, my pride has hurt. Like, I mean, I put everything I had into this scoop, and I dead stopped at the sidewalk. I'm like, oh, only got, like, a foot. I mean, I was gonna Superman a a shovel out of here, and I thought I'd just, you know, whiz down the entire sidewalk with one scoop like a janitor in a hallway, you know, with a broom. And then I I go I go ramming at it and, Like, oh, man. That was so embarrassing. Like, I hope no one saw it. That really does knock the wind at you. Yeah. It really you're like, oh, crap. I don't wanna do it anymore. It's not even yeah. It's not even just physical. It's just emotional defeating. You know? Like, I I just don't wanna do this anymore. I'm trying to wake in a stiff breeze. You know? That's exactly the same feeling. Why? Why am I doing this? Alright. Alright. So, anyway, this week, we're trying to get the sketch of the modern the modern Christian man. And I I have some thoughts that I that I kinda started writing down before the show. And then like I said, you guys can feel free to peck away at this thing. I have the ender. Okay. You're ready for the ender? No. No. Go ahead. I just wanna make sure people are ready. Okay. Okay. Here we go. So here's so here's here's some thoughts I was thinking about the the sketch, the portrait of the modern Christian man. So I think, and maybe I should preface this with I think, but, like, I think the modern Christian man loves his kids. He loves his wife, and he wants to lead both of them, but he isn't really sure what that means, little on what it takes to do it.

He has the burden of the responsibility, but not a vision for for its implementation. And it tends to leave him stagnant, sometimes overreactive because he's not sure what to do, so he overreacts to try to assert authority. Sometimes under reactive, because the last time he tried to assert authority, he looked like a fool. So then he backs down and doesn't hold the line when he should. And and kind of the combination of both of those makes him feel oftentimes defeated

and inept. That that whole thing was just surrounding him and his family. That's him and his family. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I think the modern Christian man knows the difference between morally right and morally wrong, but he struggles when, what he knows meets head on with what the culture around him claims to know. He doesn't wanna fight with people because he's generally a peacemaker, but he also feels guilty that he may be passive and cowardly by not correcting misconceptions

of false beliefs. Even so, knowing that he believes differently than others keeps him from pursuing friendships with him because of their inconsistent beliefs. It's just not gonna work out. He knows enough not to cause trouble, but because of what he knows, he also doesn't get that close to people that don't believe the same ways he does. I think the modern Christian man revere scripture in concept, but doesn't spend much time reading it. I think he catches up on Sunday and here and there throughout the week, but doesn't study much. I think when he reads something that doesn't make sense to him, he passes it until he finds something that he's heard before. I think he feels that some of scripture, if not the majority of it, are beyond his ability to understand

correctly. I think the modern Christian man will react defensively in support of the truth and veracity of scripture when he's defending it, when people are coming at him about it. But he almost never acts offensively

to further the principles that it outlines. I think he's firm on the rules that everyone agrees on from a basic morals perspective, but he's hesitant on the underlying ethic that ultimately defines the kingdom, the one that we're ultimately called to do. Generally, I think he is a man that is blown around by the wind.

I think he's a man that that wants to do something, that sees a sees where change should be made. He sees where the power of God can can alter the world, can alter his life, can alter the different facets facets of it, but he's just not sure how to get there. And so, frankly, his life kinda blows him around.

He gets carried around by his job. He gets carried around by his wife and kids, his circumstance. He makes a strong stride, but he doesn't have much of a vision on what to change about him. He just knows that it should. I think the modern Christian man believes the church should be a powerful force for good in the community, and he has high expectations that it will happen. However, his vision of that is indistinct.

He generally doesn't do much about that. He expects someone else will. He understands that other people have time constraints, but doesn't put that into the same perspective when he's assuming that they will do things that he's not. I I think he thinks that the he's he's quick to point out the failures of the church because otherwise keeps peace,

but otherwise is not quick to defend it because the the the basic good that comes from it, he feels like, isn't a positive enough argument on its own. That that's about where I got that's about where I got with my picture of the of the modern Christian man. I don't know. Alright. Well, okay. Rewind that. Why why don't you just hit them one at a time? What was the first one? Okay. The first one is he loves his kids. He loves his wife. Wants to lead both, but isn't really sure what that means, let alone what it takes to do it. He has the burden of responsibility, but not a vision for his implementation.

It tends to leave him stagnant, sometimes overreactive, sometimes underreactive, and oftentimes feeling defeated and inept. Is that a is well, let's start here. Is that true? With a modern Christian man, obviously not everybody. Right? But your basic dude sitting in the pews.

Yes. Fair, unfair, too much? I I think you'd wanna hope so. You know what saying? I think you'd hope so. I know that I know that I feel that way. I know that that that there's parts of that that accurately describe me. I feel like, especially when it comes to to my marriage and and and my kids. You know? Like, I I know I know when I have not been fulfilling what I'm supposed to be doing. Like like like everyone and and and some of it's an overreaction on my part, but sometimes my kids will they will act in a certain way, and I'm like, this ship has gotten out of control. And, like, I will own that responsibility. I would say this is my fault. I didn't I have not been leading this correctly. Yep. Right? And then I show up with the two by four and, like, way overdo it. You know what I'm saying? Like like, the rooms aren't clean, and and and then I'm like, this is this is a disobedient issue. This has to do with, my parenting. This has to do with me leading this family spiritually, physically, and responsibly. You have you have work to do when you get older, and I'm not teaching you responsibility.

And it's an unclean room. You know what I'm saying? But, like but I I I believe that overreaction tends to come from a not a solid foundation

in my faith. You know what I'm saying? Like, left to my own devices in the middle of an ocean, I will splash like a fool. And, like, that's that's what happens when you make when you make rash decisions in your marriage and rash decisions concerning your children. It's usually because you don't you don't know any better. It's all you know, and so you you you flail around. And I'm saying like you go crazy and fall off the deep end, but but you know what I'm saying? Like like, you you make decisions you wouldn't normally make in in a seat of of comfort and peace. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, the the the best talks are done over a table, you know, not with two guys in bats.

Be for that reason. You know? Like, that's kind of the point of sitting down and having a calm, rational, conversation where people feel comfortable in the environment they're in. And if you don't feel comfortable in your marriage or comfortable as you roll in a father, like you said, like they you know it should be different than the way that you're doing it. You know it should be working better. You know that that that when when God speaks of of what his what his change makes in your life and your heart, Things should be different at your house than they are. Yeah. And and and left to without the the the brass tacks, the black and white, and you're saying things should change, but, I'm not doing it bet good enough, you start to flail and make, you know, outrageous moves. Yeah. And and and act I don't know. It's it's almost it's it's a lack of comfort in your relationship with Christ of what you're basing your,

you know, the the the way that you're attempting to live your life. It's it's your lack of comfort in in in the love and the grace behind it that that brings a man to start thinking that I'm failing at it. Obviously, God's not gonna help me. I'll take back over and flail. Yeah. Here's why I think partially that might be true. Why why we're this way. I think we have evolved to the point where where church is an event. So it's a Sunday morning event. It's a service you go to. And so then the planning around church becomes how do we make this event special?

So we'll have short little series, you know, and we have at the even the Sunday morning can become a a series of little sound bites rather than really giving substance to how to do life. Yeah. You know? So it's it's a flashy, hey. We're gonna do six weeks on how to be the perfect dad. So you get six weeks on on this is how you be your great dad, and you hear these great things. And then a year later, it's like, well, we better do another dad series. So we do another six weeks on how to be a a good dad. Well, I can't say what I said last year, so we're gonna say something different this year. And it might even be almost opposite. And you got these guys after six years, they're getting kinda tossed all over the place going, wait a minute. You know, what what what am I supposed to do? You know? I mean, how am I supposed to be a good dad? And and we're meaning well, but I think even the church is is giving a disservice to families by by just trying to put product out. And then you go back to, you know, every every three

weeks another book comes out. You know, it's kinda like health. Know? One day bacon's gonna kill you. The next thing it's the wonder drug. Yeah. Right. Eat eggs. Don't eat eggs. Yeah. I mean, we don't know what to do. Whether it's our diet, whether it's how to be a dead. Do you spank? Do you not spank? Do you talk? Do you do time out? Do you count to three? No. Don't count to three. You gotta do it in one. You know? And I'm saying that it's it's it just it's a it gets to be crazy. I I just wanna do what's right. Yeah. Right. But I can't figure out what right is. Yeah. Yeah. That's prob that's I feel like that's the modern position just about anything. Yeah. Right? Especially for a guy that's especially on the on the moral ground. Right? Like Yeah. Like, you show up and you and and everyone this is this is where the Christians start to blame society, but, like, society swims in the gray. You know what I'm saying? I feel really uncomfortable in the gray because I can't make good decisions in the gray. That's why I let Christ run my life. Yeah. You know what saying? I, like, I make foolish decisions on my own to my own peril. And so I I look at situations, and I look even when it comes to, you know, it's like black and white stuff like buying a house, financing a car. You know how much I hate going to buy a car? Oh, yeah. They're gonna screw me. I know that, and I'm not shrewd. I can't lie to them. I I'm not good at putting on some kind of front like I'm some machismo. Away. Right? I ain't good at that. Right? And so, like, I beg that someone will just tell me the truth. Listen. I'm gonna pull your pants down over this thing, but I'm a sell it to you today. That's just the way I make money. Okay. You know, I appreciate your honesty. Honesty. Thank you. At least somebody can tell me the truth. You know? But no one will do it. Like, they they hide the truth in the gray, and and and and it forces the modern Christian man to swim in it. And and he you should you should feel uncomfortable there. Well and I think and that's that's the thing. Like, the the the one or the other one was the modern Christian man knows the difference between morally right and morally wrong, but he often struggles,

when what he knows, this is what I know, meets head on with what the culture around him claims to know. He doesn't wanna fight with people. Like, he's generally a peacemaker. He doesn't he likes people. He's not there to battle with them. He's not there to, like, to run at them and and and cause trouble, but he feels guilty that he may be passive and cowardly by not correcting misconceptions of false beliefs. Yeah. And and, like, that's a that's a really hairy subject. Right? And, like, the and and if you wanna talk about a a guy that that that that lives and works in the world but not of it, that's probably the main struggle. Right? Like, I watch I watch a person after person who loves Jesus fight moral moral battles that are that are fruitless and and not worth it and not talking about the kingdom of God and not talking about the redemptive blood of Jesus Christ. What they wanna talk about is your behavior and how it's not right. And it's a it's it's almost always a fruitless battle, that ends with fist in the air and and no and nothing and absolutely nothing. And frankly,

that's where we get most of especially the big ticket items of the day. That's where we get most of the of the side bashing and the you're you're discriminatory and and whatever. All of it comes from that because we got people swinging in the moral cheap seats. Right? And that's not the way that that that, I guess, faith was presented to me. And so, like, I just don't I I see that Christ changes the heart and your and your decisions move after that. But, like, the question is if you don't ever bring it up, how will they ever know you love Jesus? Right? Is there is because what the what the modern Christian man looks out and says, hey. This is this this is my stance. You know that Jesus does has has something to say about that, and your decision is if I don't say anything, then I'm not really proclaiming the love of Jesus Christ. But if I do say something, then we're gonna get in a big battle. Right? Yeah. Is the truth of the matter if you do say something, are you proclaiming the love of Jesus Christ, or are just trying to fight a moral battle? And and, like, I see I see way more I I like to disassociate with those people, to be honest with you, because it gets embarrassing when you when you're trying to fight a battle, without the heart of Christ behind it, and you're just trying to fight a morality.

And then you've you've made a poor decision. You've you've you've bolstered yourself into a battle, on a moral topic, fighting from the stance that you're coming from the Bible or from the love of Christ, and they know nothing of either one. And and so so then you've you've made a poor decision. Jesus, no. Seriously, Jesus love you. You're wrong. Yeah. They'll roll their eyes at you, you know, but but the but that question does come up. This it happens at at work all the time. You know? Like, they'll talk about something in the news or this decision. They'll roll your eyes, and and I'm like, you know, I

feel like I'm not gonna win this one. It's not what it's not something to be won. You know? Like, I'm I'm way more concerned that that your heart becomes for Christ than for me to change your mind on this moral aspect of it. I have Christian friends that that that disagree with the Bible, and I'm like, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say to you. I feel like it like, you know, you wanna pick a fight and you wanna battle over this one thing in the Bible you disagree with, but you'll claim the rest as Christ as your salvation. I feel like you're making a mistake, but, like, you wanna you wanna battle that out on Facebook? You know what saying? Is that where you wanna do it? That's foolish. It's absolutely foolish. It is not furthering God's kingdom at all. And and it's it's you making a a very poor decision, which I've done. Like, I've done that before. I've picked a moral topic. I fought it out, and it was stupid. And it did it did it made no friends. It did nothing for the glory of God. It brought no one to the kingdom, and bay basically made me look like an idiot. So, like, well

so what do you what's the what's the root of that? Like well, let let's walk through another one because I I think I think this is all points to something, but let's let's hit another one. So one of the other one was, had to do with the modern Christian man in scripture. He revere scripture and concept, but doesn't spend much time reading it. He tends to catch up on on Sunday and hearing that throughout the week, but doesn't study much. When he reads something that doesn't make sense to him, he passes by it until he finds something he's heard before. Feels that some of scripture, if not the majority of it, is beyond his ability to understand correctly.

True? I think so. Yeah. I I mean, to a point, sometimes I feel how can I say this?

Sometimes within within the church structure, you will get, people that will study their own Bible, and they're the they're kind of the outcast folks. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And, like, they will they will push they will push the barriers of what people are comfortable with. They will push, you know, teaching into a into a a direction, not in, a a sorted, you know, off the scales Galatian style direction. But you know what I'm saying? Like, they're they're like, I need more. I need meat. Let let's let's do this. And, like, you know, you're still surrounded by milk, and they're not interested in moving.

And I could see that as a as as a a real issue. But, like, the the folks that, I guess I maybe I should've shouldn't have spoke so soon. I guess I don't understand that perspective as much. Like, I I really appreciate, the services on Sunday, but if that was it for me, I'd bail. You know I'm saying? Yeah. Like, I just I couldn't I I I can't I can't do it. Now now granted, it's, it's always comforting to know that it's there, that if I slough off my relationship with with Christ the whole week, at least I have a refuge to come back to. And I know I'm loved even if I physically can't seem to get myself back in front of God,

that I can come into his house and know that it still stands and it always stands. Right? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with the church on Sunday. But if, like, that was my if if the the thirty five minutes that that the pastor is constrained to on a Sunday was my sole relationship with God, I I I don't I I don't think you'd have my heart. You know what saying? Like, like, I can't live I couldn't live like that. Well and I have been I have been underwhelmed, I think, by the the pursuit of scripture, like, by people's desire to know more. Like, that that's how people end up using it wrong. Right? That's how they end up fighting for the wrong thing is they is one of the other things I, I thought was is that they're they're firm on the rules that everyone agrees on. Right? But Bible's pretty clear. Like, you take a 10 commandments. No one's agreeing disagreeing that that's what God said. Now they may disagree or not agree with whether it's right or not, but most people are arguing that is what God said. But what they they kind of reject or otherwise don't follow through through on is the underlying ethic that, like, ultimately defines the kingdom of God. Right? Like your sermon on the mountain type of stuff. They'll they'll they'll pick out the rules, and they'll defend those fiercely, and they they miss the broad picture of it. And and I feel like we just the modern Christian man just doesn't pursue that. He doesn't he doesn't pursue that. He gets what he wants out of the scripture. He looks for it, and and he has a genuine desire to understand it. But, like, it requires some devotion to it. It requires some perspective to it. It requires some study to it. And,

I I just feel like that falls really low on our list, and then that's how we end up people, like, defending things, with the wrong perspective. Yeah. Is that is that sound bite mentality? Yeah. Exactly. You know? I just need a slogan. Need a bumper sticker. I need that one little thing I can say. And then they'll throw that on Facebook and think, yeah. Proved it. And someone says, what about whatever? And they're like, I don't know how to answer that. Yeah. And they get mad. And then it starts going downhill. Well, I I guess that's the thing. That that's that actually kinda leads to the big ender here, which is which is what I thought was, like, it's a basis. And this is true for me. And so I don't know. Maybe maybe it's not as true for everybody else, but the truth for me is is, like, you ever hear that phrase that the grass is greener on the other side. Right? It's never true, except for in this case, except for when it comes to the kingdom of God. Right? Like, I know for a fact that that when I if I would if I would be willing to pull that curtain back and live in that pasture, everything changes for me. The the whole perspective, everywhere that I live, the decisions that I make,

the things that that that I base my life off of, would work how God promised them to work. Yeah. Like, would run-in the in his design, and people always like, I wonder what God's plan is for me. I wonder what his plan for his mate. Why don't you get over in his kingdom and and and try that? And check it out. Right? Like, his plan is not for you to stand outside the kingdom and and ask for for for duties. Right? Your job is to live in his kingdom, and, like, those decisions just start to stop being so confusing. You know? And, like, I'm scared to pull the curtain back and live over there because I might know one guy that does that. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, I I mean, I know a lot of people who love Jesus. I might know one a handful of men

that live in God's kingdom on Earth. I know a ton of people that love Jesus, five maybe, that that live in God's kingdom. And I can go, that man pulled the curtain back, and he stands over there, and that's where he lives. Yeah. Right? And I see I see men like that, and I and I see all that anguish and struggle going away. And I think that it goes right back to what I what I probably struggle with, and why your number one point hits me most hard is is that not only is it my job to get in that kingdom and follow the king, but I'm in charge of leading my wife and my kids to come with me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And, like, as as as as cowardly as it is for me to not enter that that fenced in area of the kingdom, like,

they're not gonna follow me if it's not genuine. You know I'm saying? They'll see right through it. You know, it's weird that you say that when when you're talking about people that actually live it, like, are living in the kingdom on earth. We do have quite a few people. In fact, I would say the broad majority that are doing it like Alexander Duois style. Alexander Duois was the guy that wrote, the three musketeers, Count of Monte Cristo. K? He was a he was a French author, and, he he he had a very famous, very prolific writer. I mean, he wrote all the time. As a matter of fact, they they often was accused of having people write for him, and they locked him in a cell and had him and to see that he could kick out pages. And the guy was writing, like, eight pages an hour freehand, these long stories. But, anyway, like, the the story goes that he he often wrote travel books, ways to guides

to go visit other places, places he's never been. Did it all the time. Like, wrote very long, excellent, like, well thought of travel guides to destinations that he had never visited. He read a lot of books on it, kinda got the gist of what it was, and then wrote these with glowing language, was able to present a picture of a place that he's never been to. And I wonder how much of that actually exists in our day where, like, we have these glowing things to say about a wonderful kingdom of God that exists on earth, Holy Spirit living in us, guiding our lives, and we tell a pretty mean story, and we don't live there. We I mean, we could we could tell it convincingly. It sounds really good, and frankly, it represents it accurately,

but we don't live there. We don't we can't really testify to what that looks like. We can just describe it very well. And most people are fooled, and they go on and they tell the story to someone else, and they don't live there either. And we perpetuate a group of dudes that love Jesus and tell a lot of stories about how things could be,

but don't live lives on how they should. Well, that I mean, isn't that the thing? Like, isn't that the thing that that if you pull the majority of guys and you strip down all their machismo crap and said, look, boys, what do you want? I I I it's gotta be it's gotta be a majority of them that look at them and go, look. I wanna see a guy that's doing what living in that kingdom. Yeah. And I wanna see I want I I want him to help me to know how to get there. That's what I wanna know. Right? And, like, I know I know that that the bible points out the way. I'm not saying that it doesn't. Like, Christ is the way to get in that kingdom. That's kind of the deal. That's your entrance. Right? But, like, that's like saying that the that there's a magic Wonka bar, and you never see anyone get it. That there's a lottery that everyone plays every Saturday, and there's no one ever gets it. Like, it's it's available,

but it doesn't seem like anyone ever follows through. Yeah. You know? And, like, sometimes I think that you have that you have people that have faith in in the sacrifice of Christ for their sins. I think they believe that. I think that they believe that God loves them. I think they believe that too. I think they believe almost every biblical principle that they've skimmed through. But, like, when it comes down to practically, what is what how does my perspective completely change, and why hasn't it happened? And the truth of the matter is because you're living outside the kingdom. Right? You're you're you're in the you you most people like to say I'm in the world, but not of it. You're you're of it. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're standing on the fence looking at God's kingdom going, it really looks great over there, but you're still standing on the outside. You're not in the gate. And I I and it's not a salvation metaphor, so don't take it that way. Yeah. But I guess what I'm saying is, like, I'm I'm talking about kingdom living. I mean, sweet times. You know what I'm saying? Kingdom living. That should really that should really get you pumped to to actually see the difference. And and and I don't know. I just feel convicted that, like, some of the times when I don't see the difference, it's because I'm not in there. Like, I'm saved, and I'm allowed in. I'm just choosing not to go. Right. Like, you got the you got the uniform. You got your pants on. You got the right hat for the job. You got a weapon and everything. And then you stand at the front at your doorstep and look out and, boy, like, woah. There's really something going on out there. I'm ready. Yeah. But then you never actually take step outside the door. You just you just prepare for the for the guns sitting inside your living room with your hat on. You look stupid.

I mean, like, you're just you're missing on the whole benefit of having the uniform. You go out. I talk I was talking to guy at work today, and I thought about this when I thought of Kingdom Living because this is an outrageous example. Right? But but, like, he was he he lives in a in a house, in the city. Right? Before he lived in this house, he owned two acres. And so he has, like, a commercial walk behind, like, 50 inch mower. Right? Yep. It takes him literally two seconds to mow his grass. Done.

Puts it away depending how fast he does it. Done. Right? And I said, why don't you get rid of that mower? He goes, well, you know, I might need it at a place that I eventually moved to, plus I mowed the lady's place next door. And I said, well, did she bring you a fruit basket or anything? You know, it was payment. He goes, no. No. She doesn't have she's dirt poor. She doesn't have near enough money, and and, you know, she doesn't do that. I said, well, it seems to me like you have too big of a mower. Why don't you sell that mower, give some of the cash to that lady, then buy yourself a reasonable sized mower. Right? I'm the biggest idiot in the world for this idea. Right? Like, I'm thinking this is perfectly reasonable. Right? Sell that giant mower, give her some of the cash, and then still mow her grass with your smaller mower that's more reasonable. You know? And and they said, this is why you don't have any money. I said, that's fair. And I thought I I sat there and thought about it for a minute. I thought, am I an idiot, or is that Kingdom Living? You know what I'm saying? Is Kingdom Living selling the mower? Give her the cash. Get a reasonable sized mower. Or is Kingdom Living I own a 54 inch mower that it takes me two seconds to mow my nothing grass? Right? I'm not saying anything bad about the guy. Like but I'm I'm trying I was thinking about my own perspective. Like, I kinda said it as a as a joke, but I'm like, I feel like I could do that. I feel like I could sell the mower and give give the money to poor people. What do I care? You know what I'm saying? I feel like that I feel like those decisions stopped being so hard in the kingdom. You know what I'm saying? Like, outside of the kingdom, I need a giant mower to mow two two square feet of grass. Right? In the kingdom, I need a regular sized mower, and that lady needs food. Done.

So so final I don't know. Final thoughts. Picture of the modern man modern Christian man, what's what's his next step? What when he he hears this, walks out of his door tomorrow, what's the next step for the modern Christian man? Bubba, do you have laryngitis? Are you a woman? Yes. I'm a woman and therefore have no input on this. So I think the next step for the modern Christian man is to go beyond

the rituals of being Christ follower. And I know that that some of the things that we do on a daily basis are are good for us. And the daily Bible reading we do is good for us. We we get into that. And the daily prayer that we do is good for us. And and those are the things that help to develop the relationship with Christ that we have. But you need to make the connection from ritual to relationship. You have to make the connection from I am following what God has laid out from a standpoint of it is a direction. Not I am following the things that God had laid out for a standpoint of it is so that I have a greater relationship with him and so that I can have a daily relationship with him. I mean, let me ask you this, though. Like, do you think that people are having a hard time doing that? Like, I hear what you're saying. And, like, I want that for me, and I want that for you. But if someone asked me how to do that, I don't know that I could tell you.

I to be honest, I don't know if I could tell you either because I I think that because I'm standing at the gate wondering why I'm not in there. Exactly. And I find myself here too. I mean, I know that it within the last couple years, I I'm new to my actual faith. I've been in the church for for ten year ten plus years, but to have my own actual faith in in Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, I'm still kind of new in the situation. And I'm finding myself running into these walls of am I in a ritualistic situation with Christ, or am I am I in a relational situation with Christ? Do I have a relationship with Jesus Christ?

Or am I good at at looking like I do? And I don't know if there's a tipping scale point where where you go from, yes, I am in ritual and I need to get a relationship and this is how what it looks like. I don't know. You know, you can follow along with the fruits of the spirit and things like that is is that's what it looks like to have a relationship with Christ. But but, I mean, I honestly don't know how to define it, but I think that that's the next step. I think we need to define that next step of where do I take my rituals that I have in Christ? I go to church. I have a small group, but, you know, I'm accountable with other people. I sing at church or I don't sing at church, but I still worship in a different way. You know, how do I take it from there to actually saying that every single day I can tell tell myself that that I have a relationship with the with the God of this universe and that I am striving in every way, shape or form to be a man after God's own heart and to truly

be in in communion with God and in relationship with with our father from a standpoint of being a man of Christ and what that looks like outwardly for our families, for our friends, for the people that we don't know, for the people that we touch and and and see. I think that that's the next step is we need to define that and then live it out. Yeah. I think you need to put some skin in the game. Yeah. You know what saying? You just need to put some here's the deal. Like,

folks like to live safely under the the the cloak of grace and love and and whatever. I'm forgiven, and I'm doing my best. Right? You need to put some skin in the game. Your best is kinda stinky. Yeah. Your best is terrible. Your best is awful. You know? Now now the bible's pretty straightforward. It's never gonna be any Right. You know? But, like, once again, and what I mean by skin in the game is is, like, like, literally just put your put your feet where your mouth is. You know what I'm saying? You say you're gonna stop, you you know, you you read that bible and you say love others like like love God with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind and all your strength and, you know, love your love your neighbor. Why you start by doing those things? You know what I'm saying? Not in thought, but indeed. Do it. You know I'm saying? And, like, the Moore example was ridiculous. But is it that ridiculous? I mean, is it way out of line? Is is it that crazy? Most folks say, yeah. Like, is Francis Chan crazy? Three years ago, I said, yeah. He's a nutball. Sells his place. Go and move off to the Nepal or whatever he does for himself. I mean, I read his book, and I'm like, you are the softest, weirdest man. I know you love Jesus. I can tell. But, like, you and me ain't the same guy. Yeah. Is he that crazy? Right? Is he kingdom living? I don't know. Like, I you see examples of people that are off off their charts crazy,

you know, and they claim the name of Christ. And, like, I I put I put crazy and Christ in the same sentence describing somebody that maybe I should be looking up to, going, hey. They're in the kingdom. You know, look what they're doing. I it's I I just think it's I think it's a a trepidation. I think it's a a bit of cowardice. I think people are scared. They don't they they believe what God says, but not enough to put some skin in the game. And I think that's that's probably, if I had to be honest, it's right where I sit. I believe God, and I believe everything that he says is true, but not enough to fully invest and walk through the gate and stay there. I'll put a toe in. I think it's a reengaging

in genuine discipleship, you know, where you're truly being discipled. You have people that are truly mentoring you, people who've been down the road further

that that can you you know, it's the older men teaching the younger men type of thing from scripture. You know, we don't have enough of that going on. We'd Yeah. Every new generation comes up, and my mind was the same way. I've got this. I don't need you guys. You know? We're we're smarter than you. You guys are old fashioned. We don't do we don't sing your old hymns. We do our own things. I I kinda feel the same way, though. Like, I mean, I literally know a lot of people who love Jesus, and I literally don't know that that many men that qualify. Yeah. You know I'm saying? Like, I I don't know. I I wouldn't be against men. I'm I'm in an LTG for that exact reason. I surrounded myself with older fellows with kids who have strong marriages because I wanna learn from them. But, like, outside of those fellows and like I said, I mean, we do a Christian based radio show. I attend the Lord's service. We go to festival. I know a lot of people who love Jesus. I don't know that I have that many people that I would I would trust with that job. You know I'm saying? And I'm not saying there's that that it means you don't get to do it and you gotta bail on it. But, like, I mean, it maybe it's as much as a call to the young guys to be willing to submit to some discipleship, and it is to the older fellas that stop hiding in your house while you teach them fellows, you know, that are willing to to to learn. Because I think there's more,

than you think. Like, I I think I think a couple generations above me looks at my generation and goes, you know, they're they in the they do all kinds of things that I know nothing about. They run everything by computer. They do everything on their phone. They they seem to be self reliant. They put everything they they have ever done on Facebook. I think that's foolish and disrespectful. There's no discipleship capabilities in them. They're just off the charts idiots, and I can't help them. And the truth is, you know, they're just standing outside the gate. You know, we'll see watching it watching it be open, and they just need help getting through. Well, I I think we're I think that speaks to something even within even within our community, our Christian community, where, like, we're easily put off. We're easily put off by, like, I see someone that, like, you know, that guy just lives different than I do, and, you know, I I don't wanna kinda bother his life. He doesn't really wanna get involved in mine. Like, we're we're we're individual, and we're protective, and we're, you know, if I here's what I would really hope. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the guy that's two generations above me that says, you know what, Ben? It's not right what you're doing. It's not right. I saw it. The guy that doesn't go, you know, look, I I don't I don't I don't like what he's doing, but, like, you know, he doesn't really care what I think. Like, what do you care what I care what you think or not? Like, is the right thing to do as the guy I have leadership positions in the church. I'd like to see someone kinda shake me down for a while. I don't wanna do anything to cause that, but, like, you know what saying? It's like Like someone bold enough to to to be more worried about kingdom than they are about about you and your particular feelings all the time. Because that's because that's that same thing that happens. Like, we we we just don't we're not we're not grounded well enough. We're, like, we're we're we're too afraid to reach out on a branch because we don't trust the tree. We think we do. I do in concept. We we get we're all, like, roaming Descartes. We're like, hey. Yeah. No. I I agree in principle. I agree in theory. I'll check the box. I'll say amen. But, like, it seems to not translate at all into what we actually do. And it makes you question, like, is that really a belief? Like, if I say I believe this, but it has no impact on what I do with my life, I question whether using the word belief correctly. Right. And and I feel like this. And I right. And I feel like that's where we're at. We're like we're in a, we're like a post enlightenment

mental agreement. Yes. I agree with the following. I agree that this is the way to live. I agree that these are the things to do. I agree that these guys are the way to act. But then, like, I don't do those things, and I don't act like those guys, and I don't, you know, actually follow through. And I don't say the impact of of believing this is the following. And we and we don't do that. And you think, like, what this is even a weird disconnect to even have in your mind. A cat doesn't ever look at a bowl of food and go, hey, I think there's food there, and then like not go eat it. That's what the cat does. They're hungry. They believe there's food. They take a bite. We are a race of people who can say, I believe there's food there, and I'm hungry, and still not go eat that food. Yeah. And it doesn't I get food elsewhere. It doesn't make any flying sense. And but but like but that's that's the disconnect is we got things in our mind, and we just we don't I don't I feel like we just kinda stand there and let things kinda blow us around a little bit without we there's no firm stance. The guy that's two generations above me that says, you know what? That's not moving the right direction, and pulls someone inside and says, hey, man. I'm gonna step into your business Yeah. Because I love you, and I love Jesus. And those two things combined in me stepping into your business.

You know? And and I I I feel like we're not bold internally. We're not bold and loving externally. We're just we're kind of we're kind of pansy ish. And it's not and the thing is is we get a lot of we get a lot of petty arguments, petty fights about what we believe. And here's the deal. We all actually, in mind, cognitively,

believe the same thing, but we do very little. We do very little with it. And like that's the disappointment. We end being a bunch of guys that are scratching each other's eyes out without actually doing anything that we're arguing about believing or not believing. Yeah. And and so actually, I think it probably comes back to Skin of the Game. That's when I was writing all that stuff down, thought we're a group of people who believe the right things, who who like will defend truth but won't pursue it. Who will say, I need to lead my household, and I want to, I desire to. I don't know how, and I don't do anything about that. You know, I think I should read more scripture. I know that it's grounded in truth, but I didn't. I can read it, and I don't understand it. And I I feel like if I don't understand it, I should learn. But instead, I pass to something that I really understand, and I think that's gonna be alright. Yeah. And then and and you the thing is that we do that now, and then we're we're 80 years old, and that's what we've doing our whole lives. But, you know, mean, you that's that's how we got most of our denominational structure. Right? Is we got a lot of folks. We had we had one, two, three, four, five, six, 10, a dozen mainstay guys that read their bible, found some found a contention where they're like, I don't know if that sounds right, and then decided to live there. Right? And then you get thousands of people that follow behind them that don't read their Bible and go, I I don't know if that's right. It seems like it might be okay. I don't know. I mean, I suppose. I guess he's right on. He seems to talk loud and pretty fluent. You know what saying? But, like, that's that's how we got that's how we got so separated as we are now. You know what I'm saying? Because the Bible readers, you know, instead of, playing a, you know, grandpa versus uncle ping pong in a family, like, they decided they were gonna stand on a high horse and start moving out. And and and, like, we have our our denominational structure is is way screwed up, and we we internally fight, like, I don't know, like, rabid cats. It's just dumb. And and but it's only because, like, if you get if your uncle goes off the deep end, you just let him go like you love him, but, like, you don't follow him and then take 10 guys and go off the deep end with your uncle. You know what saying? You still love him, but you don't follow him. But, like,

we we have a bunch of folks that that that that believe the scriptures, don't read them, and you get a guy with a new idea, and they're like, heck yeah. I'm gonna follow him. You know? And that goes back to something Dan was talking about. Like, I I think we are we're we're always attracted to the new to the new thing. Right? The new way to the the answer. The one answer on how to raise your kids correctly. The one answer on how to strengthen your faith. The answer on how to how, like, connect all this stuff. And, like, it's way more simple than that. Like, the it's just work. It's just work. You like, it ends up there's a reaction to basic truths. And instead of accepting those truths and applying them to your life, you try to find something that makes that easier, that makes it more simple, that brings it all together. And and again, it's a cognitive exercise where we just keep thinking about it and thinking about it and thinking about it, and then no one did anything. We just spent a lot of time thinking about it. It's a bummer. It's a whitewashed tomb. It's a yeah. Alright. Anyway I gotta tie that right in. Anyway, I there there are there are certainly hints of me in the in the modern Christian man.

And I tell you what, that real men's conference better really be a barn burner because I feel like I'm jazzed, he better he better kick it up a notch. Yeah. He'd be jazzed. I feel like a joke. Well, the truth is revealing on the show, boo. Here you go. You're listening to life from the path. Alright. So here's the deal. Last week, we talked about the 10 Christian

women that men should not marry. No. Other way around. 10 Christian men. Shoot. 10 men that Christian women should not marry. There you go. I'm with it. Alright. So anyway, we we talked about that last week. And frankly, the list ended up being nobody should marry these fellas. They're all around not worth marrying. Number 11 being me. So let's let's there's a there's a list of the eight women that Christian men should never marry.

These are the women that I tell my spiritual sons to avoid. Here we go. Number one, the unbeliever. In last week's column, reminded women that the Bible is absolutely clear on this point. Christians should not marry unbelievers. Okay. So that that that's the only Christian specific one that was in the men's one as well. I actually agree with that. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with that. Because I would tell a believer not to marry a non believer. Yeah. So therefore, why would you tell the non believer to marry a believer? Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. It's just yeah. And here's what here's what I people's reaction to that is weird. They're like, you know, what a what a weird strict rule. You're just trying to, you know, stay insular and stuff. And like, if some guy says,

the the order in my life is God first and then spouse, and you're marrying someone that says, there is no God, spouse first, I feel like you have a problem. Like like on its Different worldviews. Yeah. On its base root, it's not because I'm Jesus and I'm better than you. It's because, like, I put something above you, and if we don't agree with that, we really shouldn't be getting married. Yeah. And and I I mean, some folks take it a a little staunchy. Like, that could be redeemed. You know what I'm saying? Like, I wouldn't plan it that way. Know You what I'm saying? But it can be redeemed if you're in a marriage, you know, that that started that way. Mine was. And so I I I I'm not saying that it can't be redeemed and Christ can't cover all, but, like, if you have the opportunity to say plan for the tower, you should plan for it instead of getting halfway through and go, oh, crap. Yeah. Oh, we're gonna build a tower. Yeah. They're all gonna laugh at you because you couldn't finish it. I always like that story because, like, it's such a rudimentary, like, school like, grade school thing. There's the guy that couldn't build the tower. The base of his tower. Yeah. You see how there wasn't anymore? Yeah.

Yeah. He could've planned for it, but didn't. It's just whiplash, dude.

But it's just finish your tower? Yeah. You noticed that that that Jesus doesn't leave any wiggle room. He's like, this is how they will react. Like, they might make fun of you. No, sir. They're gonna they're gonna make fun of you. They will laugh at you hysteria. It's it's they're so they're such, like, flat people, but, like, you know that goes on. You go by a guy's house, like, that guy's been working on his house for a year and a half, and he still doesn't have it done. You know? But but but, I mean, doesn't that show the, like, the father the fatherly figure of, of Christ? Like like, I mean, I try to teach my kids a lot of stuff, and I like to give them a lot of freedom on how they dress and what that you know, like, that kind of crap. I'm not real strict about that. But every once in while, I have to pull them aside and say, listen.

I don't care that you do this, but if you continue to be this way, they're gonna make fun of you. Just so you know, love you. You could do whatever you want. I feel like you're gonna regret it. You know I'm saying? Like, Jesus is basically the say saying the exact same thing. Like, this doesn't call your salvation into question. I'm not kicking you out of the house, but people are gonna laugh at you. You need to tone it down. Alright. So we're grieving on the unbeliever. Second second, a woman that a Christian man should not marry, woman type, the material girl. Madonna say, what? One young friend of mine was engaged to a girl from a rich family. He saved up her money for months to buy a ring, but when he proposed, she told him he needed to go back to the jewelry store to buy a bigger diamond.

She pushed her fiance to go into debt for a ring that fit her expectations. She wanted a Tiffany's lifestyle and his Walmart budget. I warned my friend that he was stepping into serious trouble. Unless you wanna live in debt for the rest of your life, do not marry a girl who has dollar signs in her eyes and eight credit cards in her Gucci purse. I mean, you're gonna find hints of this in all ladies. I mean, come on. I'm not saying that, like I mean, this this woman's a cartoon. I

mean, there's ladies like her, but, I mean, not where I live. But, I mean, I'm afraid that this list is gonna knock every woman off the list, and you'll be able to marry no one. That's that's not a spiritual thing, though. I mean, I happen to be Donald Trump, you know, and I can afford whatever ring I want, if I'm a believer and she's a believer, you know, the fact that she wants expensive things is not a Christian issue, I wouldn't say. Yeah. I mean Yeah. I should say Donald Trump. But, you know, if I I have unlimited resources You're unfairly characterizing the money aspect. You know what I'm saying? Like Yeah. Let's say you hate Topaz, and he showed up with a $8,000 Topaz ring. You'd be just as likely to say, hey. Listen. Can we turn that in for something that's not topaz? I plan to wear this the rest of my life. Yeah. Please don't embarrass me. I feel yeah. But, like, if you showed up with, like, hey. This is what I got.

And she's like, no. Take it back and get something much bigger and go into together. He's totally telling it You're the flags there. Yeah. He's totally telling it one-sidedly. She can be like, I love you. Of course, I will. We need to talk about that ring you picked out. That's the way my wife would do it. That is ugly, Mike. I love you. It's not a not a question of ugly. It's how big. Yeah. Hey. That doesn't draw enough attention to me. She probably has a a ring from her mom on her sixteenth birthday. It's twice the size. She doesn't want her mom's ring overshadowing his wedding ring. I feel like that's fair.

I don't know. No. I mean, there's some incompatibility. Yeah. I mean, he he does bring that out. I'm just saying rich folks give away big rings to their daughter or something. He but but she's marrying a non rich man. If she can't get on board with that, now is the time to say something. Yeah. Yeah. True. I mean, this ain't gonna work out. I'm not saying there's not conversations need to be had, but I I mean, throwing down your your Wranglers and saying, that's it. I'm out. I mean, I feel like that's too much. I can see by this ring, we're gonna run into some high slash low expectations for the rest of our marriage. So I'm a say, no. We need go back. But we was gonna go to the drive through after this. Number three of the eight quit women Christian mentioned never marry. Number three is the diva. Some macho guys like to throw their weight around and pretend they are superior to women. Divas are the female version of this nightmare. They think the world revolves around them, and they don't think twice about hurting somebody else to prove their point. Their words are harsh, and their finger snapping demands are unreasonable.

What if you are reasonable? What if you're like, clean the bathroom. Mhmm. Because it's dirty. I mean And because the reason. You must it up. Yeah. What more do you want? Do the dishes because I haven't been home in a week, and you have. Mhmm. Yeah. I mean, is this just is it an attitude or a lifestyle? You know what I'm saying? Are they right or they're right? You

know the likes of go into that's that's the distinction. The snap, mhmm, got some bad rap because it gets followed by unreasonable demands. But, like, I feel like she's being reasonable about it. Yeah. Turn on the porch light. I'm going to bed. Mhmm. That's reasonable. Turn off the TV when you come in. Have a towel rack for a reason. Mhmm.

Alright. So wait. I I you know? Hey. I can't even stand the person they're describing even when I'm not married to him. I feel like we're running in the same situation we ran into last week where these kinda seem like some people that no one wants to marry. Yeah. But, I mean, we're talking about having a little grace for folks, though. Mean, if if they I mean, this is the curse woman, is it not? The woman that wants to to hold it over the man? Yeah. She's just a result of a natural implication to life. Yeah. All women are fighting man. Get a hold of yourself. They're they're fighting this diva thing. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes it's gonna lapse, man. It's just it's just the curse, man.

I'm sorry. You can't lead me, Corrigan. Remember Adam? Get your thorns and thistles out of here. Mistake.

Definite mistake. For the the Delilah. Remember, Samson? I I once we with the first time we did secular versus Solomon

no. That wasn't it. We were talking about the show, and I I spelled the word Samson with a p. It's Samson, but no p. Right. But I can't say without the p. Samson. Sam. Samson. Samson. Samson. Sam. I can do it. You y'all in the car. You go ahead and do it. It's alright. Samson. Samson. Samson. You better stop it before you get home. You don't talk like that in here. Yeah. That's why you have friends.

Get that weirdness out of here. He was okay. Samson was anointed by God with superhuman strength, he lost his power when a seductive woman figured out his figured out his secret and gave her man the world's most famous haircut. Like Delilah, a woman who hasn't yielded her sexuality to God will blind you with her charms, break your heart, and snip your anointing off. Oh, that sounds really Okay. Sounds Hold on a minute. That's the way to put it. That Samson was an idiot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Realizes. Was a straight up dummy. She's telling this story. Oh, right now, granted, I mean, listen. This woman had no amount of cunning or shrewdness. It was just Samson. Samson, how do I defeat you? Here's a lie. Oh, man. You fooled me once. How dare you? How do I defeat you? Here's a lie. You know I'm saying? Like, she is not department in the story. The man's a moron.

I feel I mean, granted, you gotta be watch out for ladies. I mean, she was willing to be deceitful, but I don't know. I don't know that her womanly wiles, I'm not sure, contributed all that much to it. He's just kind of a doofus. Sam, mean, what what's what's his what's the point of the article that someone who who is being sensual to attract Yeah. If your Christian woman you met at church dresses provocatively, flirts with other guys Uh-huh. Post sexually inappropriate comments on Facebook, or tells you she's okay with sex before marriage, get out. I I agree. Hey. I I guess I'll agree with you. What sixth grader roaches are going on? These are not nuances to help defining a mate. You know what I'm saying? They're like they're like putting the poison man with the two arms on every bottle at your place. I mean, there's a difference between between saying, hey, she dresses for everybody, not just for you, as opposed to

she posts sexually inappropriate comments on Facebook and flirts with other men. Yeah. Yeah. Like and then it's I mean, what I I you can work with one and kinda kinda rearrange how women are thinking about that stuff. But, like, I feel like the other ones are dead slaps to your face. Yeah. Well, one of the things I found very attractive about my wife before we were dating was she was a modest dresser. Modest is honest. Modest is honest. Yeah. I mean, it just it was attractive to me. She didn't she didn't need to try to attract attention to herself. Yeah.

I had that changed about me when I got up. What are looking at me? What? Nothing? I said dress provocatively at church anymore because of the I was gonna say, I had that changed about me when I got married. Once I found out my my wife didn't improve, I changed my ways. I'm not hey. I'm not a piece of meat for sale on the market. Alright. Neither am I.

I don't know. I don't what time it is. Hold on. We got time to go through the contentious woman. A young man told me recently that he dated a girl who had serious resentment in her heart because of past hurts. Before I would propose, I told my fiance she had to deal with this. He explained, it would have been a deal breaker. But there was a powerful breakthrough, and now we are engaged. This guy realized that unresolved bitterness can ruin a marriage. If the woman you are dating is seething with anger and unforgiveness, your life together will be ruined by arguing, door slamming, and endless drama. Insist that insists that she get prayer and counseling. Hey. You know how you're human? Yeah. Fix that. Yeah. And then we can get married.

I I don't wanna help you with it. You fix it before you come back in here. All that baggage? I'm a need you to check that at the door. Goes back to we can become. Really, whether you're a believer or not, yeah, you wanna stay away from someone who's just so angry they can't breathe. I don't even know I I I feel like I really wanna know the guy that wrote the article. It's like saying, look, if you try to date a man and he kills people and insists that he's gonna continue to kill people, ask him to get prayer and do not marry him. Okay. You know, that's pretty obvious. Like, is there anybody in the free world that says, hey. I got this person I wanna marry, and she's seething with anger. Right. She seems to take it out on me. Can she drive your new fiance? Oh, she's got some serious anger. Anyway,

what She's contentious. Together. Alright. You're listening to Life From The Pathway. We're not done with this list. We got three more to go after the break. If you're on 99.3 Samson. Keep saying it. Samson. We gotta let you go. But you can catch the podcast. Go to lifefrompath.org.

We'll finish out this list. Mike's got some Pope style. Booba's got some Pope style. We got some advice on Dear Life From The Path. If nothing else, we'll see you oh, shoot. The real man event is over by the time you listen to it. Listen before now. Oh, crap. You listen to Life Path. I never plan ahead. It's

tough being in multiple markets. No. That's true. As soon as we turn into life on the path worldwide, the the the administration just gets out of hand. Okay.

Number six on the list. This is the eight women Christian men should ever marry. Number six was the controller. Marriage is a fifty fifty partnership, and the only way it works is when both husband and wife practice mutual submission according to Ephesians five twenty one. Just as some guys think they can run a marriage like a dictatorship, some women try to manipulate decisions to get their way. This is why premarital counseling is so important. You don't want to wait until you've been married for two weeks to find out that your wife doesn't trust you and wants to call all the shots. Okay. That's yeah. You probably should get that figured out before you marry. Yeah. Yeah. Here's the deal. My place runs better when I run it. That's all I know. I should it should be $95.05. I make good decisions.

I feel like that being said And you know what? I skipped marriage because I figured this out on my own. Podcast. Okay. Number seven

number seven is the mama's girl. It's normal for a new wife to call her mom regularly for advice and support. Hey. We might be getting insight into this man's marriage. It is not normal for her to talk to her mother five times a day about every detail of her marriage, including her sex life. That's weird. Yet I have counseled guys whose wives allowed their mothers or fathers total control of their marriages. Genesis two twenty four says a man is to leave his parents and cleave to his wife. Parents should stay in the background of the children's marriages. If your girlfriend hasn't cut the apron strings, proceed with caution. Sometimes that's kinda hard. There's some overbearing mama. Mama bears. Okay.

So, like, I get what he's getting at, but but until until I hand my daughter over Yeah. You don't know nothing, Jack. Yeah. I mean, married. Yes. But he said if your girlfriend hasn't cut the apron strings, yeah, yeah. Apron strings ain't cut until you were making some promises. I'm not handing that kid over. You don't cleave until you leave. That's Yeah.

Bought him. That's good, Dan. Yeah. Thank you. Was good, Dan. This is my business card, Dan. Yeah. So, I mean, I'm not sure that's a deal breaker.

No. Yeah. I mean, assuming it depends on how young you get married. Right? Like, you can grow you can grow beyond that. It's just what you've known. It's a person you've lived with your whole life. You just moved into you've lived with this guy, hopefully, for three days, two weeks, whatever it is that you've been married. I don't know. This is like normal things to talk to your parents about. If you're I think the guy's kinda spazzing up. Yeah. I don't know how you determine it's too much. Yeah. How do you I mean, I suppose if my father-in-law started asking how my sex life was going with his daughter, I feel like that would. Yeah. Like, if he called I wouldn't say on that at all. Hey. My daughter was saying such and such about your sex life. What's going on there? Here's here's what I know.

If my if my daughter's future husband thinks that we're gonna talk about that stuff, he is wrong. Like, I mean, I might I don't even can't even think of a time where I would even lightly joke about that. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't get be awkward. You know? Like, I mean, I appreciate you obviously, I trust you enough that I allowed you to marry my daughter, but, like, ah, you know, not even a wink or, hey. You know what I'm saying? None of that. Just I love that woman, and I'll kill you. That's pretty much it.

So, I mean, I hope it is fruitful and it is glorifying to the Lord Jesus as soon as it ain't. Might come come over. Yeah. With a cleave. I got people can love Jesus without that. That's right. Paul proves it. I will make that happen. Yeah. Know. I know Paul and nuns, you're none of those things. Let's see. Yeah. Yeah. If I feel like that's a distraction, praise the Lord, I'll make it easier on you. Yeah. That's right. Exactly. Eases my mind. That's right. Number eight. Number eight. The addict. So many people in the church today have not been properly discipled. Many still struggle with various types of addictions. That's a weird connection. Oh, boy. Yeah. To alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription medicines, or pornography, either because we don't confront these sins from the pulpit or we don't offer enough compassionate support to stragglers.

Jesus completely set a person free from these habits, but you don't wanna wait until you're married to find out your wife isn't sober. You may still be called to be married, but it's not wise to tie the knot until your girlfriend faces her issues head on. Your best rule to follow in choosing a wife is found in Proverbs 31. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the lord, she shall be praised. Look past the outward qualities and the world says are important, and look at the heart. I don't like this guy. I don't like him. Hey. Clean up yourself completely. The fact that the lord Jesus watched you is not enough. I want you to change everything about you to be exactly who I want. That's not gonna happen. Well, but maybe he's talking an addiction. He's not talking, you know, a struggle. I

don't know where that line is, but somewhere there That's it seems to be your distinction. I hope it's clearer than that. Yeah. I'm sorry, Dan. I'll let you rephrase. Volley. I only get one shot. I was I wasted all my brain power on that cleave leave thing.

They got nothing left. What do you want from me? My cards are at the printer. So Alright. Those were, those are the eight. Those are the eight. Here hold on a minute. I don't wanna I'm not just going so fast. Like, I mean, if if the the lady you're proposing to marry has an addiction and she works on it and fails and works on it and fails,

is that gonna stop you from marrying her? Yes. Really? Because I feel like I I mean I mean, she still loves Jesus. What's the problem?

Are you saying that if she loved Jesus enough, the addiction wouldn't be a problem? She has a self destructive I don't want my children around it. I don't want my future around that. I I I would be out. How how but but how long is long enough? You know I'm saying? Let's say she's got a drinking problem. How long she gotta be clean before it's okay for you?

I don't know. That's a discern that's an individual discerning thing. You're a terribly hard man to love. Here's the conditions in which I love you. They're unknown. I would love a loving person. But, I would I would not make a lifetime commitment to someone who I don't know I can trust will make that commitment to me because of a self destructive

habit. I mean, all habits are self destructive. Is that what about smoking? What if you had a habit of eating oranges? Yeah. That may not be self destructive. And it gets to the point where you, you know, you That's how I deal with. Out money and get what I'm saying. Yeah. That's how I got so big. I ate so many oranges. Troy,

work out every once in a while. You keep eating oranges. Here's the thing. Like, I agree with Dan, I think, to a point because that's not real it's not necessarily a marriage. Right? Depending on the depth of the addiction, you're not agreeing to the same things.

You know what saying? You're agreeing to dysfunction. Yeah. And, like, like, what what why? Why did you marry that person? Did it what what did it change what did it change for them? I mean, what I guess I I guess I'm I'm I'm missing your line on on self destructive addictions.

You know what I'm saying? Like So he provided alcohol, illegal drugs, prescription medicines, or porn. Okay. Yeah. I suppose. I

mean I see oranges. Oranges are I I think you're talking one out of ten guys can get married then. You know what I'm saying? Like, you're cutting a lot of strings there. Actually, I think it's a lot more than that. I'm saying ninety nine percent of the dudes look were addicted to porn. The one one is not. One out of ten could probably get married under those circumstances. Yeah. The other nine cannot. Yeah. I mean, I I suppose I wonder how he's

I don't know. I I I agree. I think it's a discernment issue. I I think generally speaking, though, if you're walking into may maybe it's the thought that you it's don't believe that it's going to change just because you have mirror. Like, marriage doesn't No. I agree with you. Marriage doesn't functionally change. It doesn't foundationally change you as individuals. Right? Like, in concept, is it like, something doesn't get burnished white just because you decided to marry somebody else. I'm not saying get married right now because they're strung out on heroin, now is the best time. I'm just saying, like, I'm willing to I'm willing to love through some

some things. You know what I'm saying? Like, I know there's a there's a there's a certain amount of things. It's just like it's just like having having, you know, grace where where where people are having a hard time. It doesn't define them as a person or the relationship with Christ. Right? We didn't you guys just talked about this last week with snake handler man. Right? You know, look at one thing in their life and go, their relationship with Jesus is shot. You know what I'm saying? They're just struggling in an area or or or, you know, they have somewhere a little off kilter. And maybe your discernment is a little bit more chopping when it comes to marriage and not just a guy that you know or a friend. You know? But I I guess what I'm saying is, like, I mean, if there's if if if all that stuff goes away, what work is there really in marriage? You know what I'm saying? You're gonna have you're gonna have problems, and you're gonna have disagreements. And and most certainly, some of them are gonna be righteous disagreements and righteous problems. And and and it's it's a I don't know. I feel like it's a relationship relationship thing either way. I feel like it's it's an odd distinction to make that says, hey. You're having trouble? Not with me. I can't. Forget it. See, I'm looking at both lists of the the eight ladies that do Christian dudes shouldn't marry and then the 10 dudes that Christian ladies shouldn't marry. And I'm just I'm having trouble with the whole situation because

every single person is in some degree one or many of the people on this list. Yep. And it's it's a very harsh distinction to say, if you fall into this category, do not marry this person.

If this person falls into this category, do not marry this person. And I I agree with a lot of what Mike's saying. And it's just it it makes it makes no room for humanity in the marriage. It makes no room for for being a a human, a man or a woman of this earth to be in a in a marriage and in a relationship? I mean, the whole list kinda the whole list presents

the thing where you're painting someone with a broad brush. Right? Right. Exactly. They'd have they demonstrate these types of behavior. They're this type of person. Right. Like, I mean, it's kinda it's it's an unfair premise, to be honest with you. But, like, I I think where those things are overarching, it's a bit being mindful of those overarching themes and how they tend to cause trouble in your relationship. Fair enough. Yeah. I wouldn't marry any of them. I was gonna say, I'm I'm reading through this or listening through this list, and I wouldn't marry a single one of And if I'm I'm listening to the dudes list also, and I would never say to any one of of my sisters in Christ, hey, I've got a guy for you. Come check this guy out. He's he's I can't remember the specifics. He's a beater. He's the beater. Not only once in a while. Yeah.

It just it it it leaves no room in this list for for humanity. And I think that we have a little bit of of each and every one of these. Well, but but that's not what he's saying, though. He's not saying if you have a a hint of something. Some some of those are just people you just wanna stay away from. I mean, the beater. I mean, really? Do we all have some of that in us? I don't even think that needs to make the list. Like, lists are made to help clarify things. Everyone is obviously does not wanna get beat. But there's too many people who who do marry That's the truth. To those people. What was the truth of that? What the is that that that's one of the things that that there are a lot of people who do marry that. Yeah. They don't want to I don't project. They're gonna change them. It'll get better. Maybe I deserved it anyway. Yeah. Don't know makes think about a flawed thought process right off Like, the if I'm if I I don't know. Those people were beating us kids. But those those same folks really don't benefit from lists. They're like, oh, know what? I shouldn't have married them. Know, I I don't like getting hit in the head. He's right. Uh-huh. I remember the one time we were dating, and John just punched me straight in the face. Yeah. And said, I'm handsome. Believe it. He said he was sorry. So I really shouldn't have married him. I should have known. Yeah. That that's true. The the the ones who need to to read this won't won't accept it. That's you know, I I was I was struggling through that with something else that I was thinking about at work today. Was like, there's a lot of times, we we produce a lot of directions,

content, education pieces for people that don't need it, and the people that do need it don't read it. And so, like, that's a lot of time we spend doing that kind of stuff. You know, that's the truth of the matter. Remember when I I I asked the congregation whether anybody reads Christian blogs and not a soul does. Not one person did. And I thought there's nobody? I'm the only guy? Now we've talked about it on the show multiple times. It's probably not the best place to be in the comments area, but, like, there's good content on on Christian Christian blog posts and whatnot and and certain material.

And there's not one person been reading any of it. And I thought, how are these guys even in business? I bet they read more than they like, the random Facebook posts. They just don't they probably don't commit to something. Think of themselves as reading a blog. They just read an article or something, maybe it was a blog. Yep. Boo. Alright. You're listening to life in the path. I tell you what, I think we're gonna have to move our old testament discussion next week. So we'll get to that. Mike, what do got for Pope style? It's not even very big. Okay. And, actually, it's funny because it kinda ties into that kingdom business. But, like, you ever been on vacation and you think this is the life? You know what I'm saying? Like, you work a regular job most of the time, and you thought you always see that guy that seems to own his own business, works, like, two hours a day, and he's always just randomly going out to lunch. Or you know what I'm saying? Like, he's gonna go down to Ohio over a couple days, and he'll come back eventually. And and you're like, man, what have I done with myself? Why am I tied to this this blue collar business? Like, I just I hate it. I and then you go on vacation for a week, and you're like, if my whole life could be this way, this would just be grand. Right? And I I was thinking about that when I was I was on vacation last week with my family. And,

you know, I constantly back to number one from earlier in the show, I constantly feel like I don't spend enough quality time with my wife. I don't spend enough quality time with my kids. I feel like I get shortchanged out of it because of, you know, work and and and, you know, crap. I'm like, I I give fifty, sixty hours a week to a job for money, and I just feel like I'm schmuck. You know what I'm saying? Like, I've been bought out. Really, it's what it takes to run my house. But, I mean, I still don't like it, and I still complain about it. And I think, man, I just I wanna spend all the time in the world with this family and not do anything, and we'll worry about this money problem later. But what I realized was is that it's it's a it's a kingdom distinction. Like, it's a kingdom distinction that I'm not making. Like, I'm I'm

when I I don't I don't go to my job still in the kingdom. I leave the kingdom to go to my work, and I treat it differently. And then when I come home, I'm back in kingdom living, and then I expect things to not to not cause me any trouble there. And I I think my pope style advice is this, is is is it's it's it's almost the same thing we've been saying the whole show, that you gotta put some skin in the game. Like, when I leave, I realized this when when I was I was coming into work today because I know that I constantly I constantly don't do this. When I'm when I'm was with my family for the whole week, every decision I made was, for the benefit of that family. I was part of a team. I was part of a a unit. The Foosk family moves, and we all go swimming or we all go out to eat and we do this, and it's all for, for this family and and and and for the for the for the glory of God and our joy, and that's what it was. And it was a it was a great time. Right?

When I leave to go to my job by myself, my world gets a little fuzzy now. Now it starts to look a little funny. Like, I I like to think that that my heart's back at my house, but I have I have other things to pay attention to. I have responsibility at my work that they pay me to do. I have things that I'm doing that they don't understand, they're not part of. I couldn't explain it to them if I wanted to because that's what I do by myself, and they just don't. They're not part of that. Right? And, like, I instantly missed that feeling of where I was working on the same team. It's just like being in a in a business partnership. Right? Like like, let's say let's say me and Bouvah are on a business team, and Bouvah's gotta go to Ireland to try to score us the big deal. Right? He's not next to me. He's not reading the same emails I am, but I know when he's in Ireland,

he's helping the business. He's there doing what he's supposed to, and he's there he's there working for the same goal. And I think I guess what I was convicted about last week when I was on vacation is is that's not what I do at my job. Right? Like, I I I do go there to earn money to keep my, you know, a roof over my kid's head and feed my family. That's what I do. Right? But, like, more often, the kingdom living

leaves my mind and my thoughts and and, you know, the but my my big standard motto at my at my house and pretty much everywhere is is is to, God's glory and our joy. And and, like, it's not that I abandoned Christ or will not talk about Jesus in front of people. I certainly will. But, like, that that feeling of being in the kin kingdom leaves me. It just doesn't feel as as tight knit as when I'm surrounded. And I thought, that's gotta change. I gotta get some more skin in this game. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm tired of going to work outside the kingdom. And like I said, like, I don't I don't I don't lose my faith when I walk out the door. I'll talk about I'll talk about Jesus just about anybody. Right? But I'm not believable.

I'm believable at my house because I'm in the kingdom and I feel loved. And, like, outside of that house, I don't feel that. And so, like, when you're talking about dudes having having some the modern Christian man, I'm talking about a guy that feels loved and takes that kingdom with him and is not just in the world only to scurry back out. You know what saying? But, like, goes there on purpose and has some skin in the game and knows that that kingdom has come with him. And, like, it was epitomized with my family as a a worldly example that I could grasp onto. Yeah. But, like, it it's more of a kingdom thing. It's more of a it's it's more of a thing. Like, if like, when I when I when I go to work for forty hours or I have to go out of town for work, like, it's it's am I a different person? Does my heart feel different? Do I not feel like I'm just the guy in Ireland? Because that's all I am. That's all I should be. But instead, I'm by myself and something's weird and I don't feel like I'm in the kingdom like I was and there's no bout of bible reading that's gonna fix that. Well, there's something weird there. Means I didn't have any skin in the game to start with. Yeah. Right? I left and I'm writing postcards. Postcards are lame.

And so, anyway, that's my that's my Pope style advice is is that if you want if you were ever that guy or that or that or that gal that that, you know, has to leave your family and you always thought, man, those those stay at home moms have it made. That's not true, by the way. You couldn't pay me enough to do that job. I love them, but that's not for me. But you think the people that that have all this freedom and then get a hang around their family all the time, and you're so much different, you're nothing different except for you're choosing to leave the kingdom, you're choosing to leave your family and create a separate universe for yourself, there's always gonna be a mistake. Yeah. Yeah. I I I think that the the sense of the sense of separate worlds is a is a problem. Like, where we make distinctions about about what we do and how we do and who we do it with and where our mind is at, why we're doing it,

that that does very much create separation. It it it it means you're not living a cohesive life under a single banner and a and a and a broad charge. You live it in segments, and your segments move independently of each other. And then you you end up basically, you you see you don't see a broad fruit pursuing a single a single community, a single goal. You you see incremental steps in in little segmented areas of your life and very small victories.

And, like and you don't ever you don't ever accomplish the big purpose. You don't ever accomplish the big goal, you don't do it supported by a broad community. Yeah. Not like and and and think about it. Like, it's not like I walk home. Like, I work on generators. Right? That's what I do for money. It's not like I walk home and my wife says, to get that generator fixed, right on. Nice job. We needed that money today. That's not really how it goes down. You know? Hi. You're home from work. Okay. Great. You did your thing for the day. I did my thing for the day. And, you know, we talk. We're not, like, fighting or anything. But you know what I'm saying? Like, I don't go like, hey. How'd the laundry go? Was it rough or you know, like, I'm interested, like, the team thing. Like, how'd that part go? Because I asked you guys that Yeah. Throughout the week. If if I know that you were tasked with calling a guy to get him on the show or we were having to talk to something about advertising or we got a big event coming up, I'm like, well, how'd that conversation go? Did go alright? You know, because we're for the same goal. Yeah. Right. But that's not what happens when I walk in at home. I don't ask my wife about, you know, those those little things like, I I I thought about you today, what you were doing today, and how things were going. I'm just interested, you know, to see how our team came out. Team Foost, team Jesus. You know I'm saying? Like, I wanna know how the kingdom stuff's going. How many times do I ask you guys that? On occasion, but not near enough. No. And and and, boy, I think about that on a broad scale. Like, if you're I'm interested in what's going on in team Jesus. When did I when I last call, you know, just think of your broad community of people and, like, I hey, man. What's going on in your life? I wanna know what not just because, hey, I wanna know about your segment of the world, but, like, we're we're team Jesus. We're kingdom Jesus. What's up? What's going on in the kingdom? How are things how are things are going in our kingdom over in your realm of it? You know what I'm saying? And, like, we just we don't think of it that way.

You know, that's pope stock. Get some skin in the game. Yeah. Put some skin in the game. That was your short pope style? Sorry. That was awesome. Cut me cut me deep.

Moova, pope style. Alright. So once again, we didn't get a chance to explain the concept of this for those of you who've never heard this before. The pope style is the concept that we walk out onto our front yard, and we've got, Ben, 50,000, for Mike and Dan and I, 10,000 out in our front yard. Alright. And these people want to hear nugget of advice from us, a little bit of of wisdom from us. And they're not gonna leave our lawn until we give it to them. So that's what we're here to do. That's why we're giving our pope style advice. My pope style advice this week is is similar to Mike, surprisingly enough. Normally,

I'm I'm a 100 miles behind him on a lot of things. But I noticed this in my life this week and then also with a lot of people that that are on my Facebook and in my social media life that I think we're we're really good at

at having the Sunday Sunday church mask on, you know. I think we're really good at putting putting a mask on, putting a face on when it when we feel like like God's watching. And we forget sometimes that that God is watching at all times and that that people are watching at all times. And God puts us in many situations.

I bring this up specifically because I saw one dude who his post on Facebook was just all just just about Jesus and about God and all this different stuff. It was really lit it seemed like just from from what I was reading and what he was he was posting out there was really living it out and was really tackling some hard stuff and some some difficult things and and really trying to get in the heart of God on it. It was awesome. You know, reading the comment thread and and seeing what people are thinking about it and get putting scripture in there. It wasn't just it wasn't

dudes and and gals just battling each other from a from a theological standpoint. It was we are all Christ followers, and this is something that a lot of us deal with. Let's talk about it. And let's see who has what to say on the heart of God. Let's see if God can be can be shown through that. And then, like, four hours later, I saw a comment of his on another dude's post that it wasn't it wasn't a Christian post. Let's put it that way. And it was pretty dark. It was some some bad stuff. And I'm just like, you know, I'm not judging the guy. But remember that that by what you said four hours ago, you might have been putting yourself

on a platform and God could have been putting you on on a small platform to to glorify himself through your thoughts and through your your words that he's giving you. And then you jump right back into this muck and this this mire, and it was awful. And then I really started thinking from a standpoint of how do I do that? What what does that mean in my life? Because a lot of times, I have those kind of posts on Facebook or I have those kind of conversations. And, you know, I teach kids and and I I I help out with the youth and I I talk to people about Christ. And and then an hour later, twenty minutes later, five minutes later, I find myself right back in the mire. And I'm misrepresenting the heart of God in that. And I unfortunately, at that point in time,

by by God's doing or not, whatever you want to call it, I am misrepresenting a relationship with Christ because I've got this this seeming mask that I've put on in front of some people, and then I take it off and then I'm my normal self in front of others. And it really humbled me this week to sit down and think to myself, you know, at what point in time am I putting God on the back burner? And at what point in time am I putting on a mask

of a Christ falling relationship and then taking it off for other people? How am I relating to the world rather than being someone after God's own heart and being a tool for God to use?

And so so I think to wrap it up is just the fact that make sure that at all points in time, not just who you're around or specific people or specific groups, make sure that you're always shining the light of God. And make sure that you're you're never misrepresenting God because it's easy to do. And I know we're all going to do it. But make a conscious effort to always be that light of God, not just turning it on every once in a while, Not just lighting that lamp and then putting it up on the on the stand so the whole house can be lit for an hour or two and then taking it back down because you know you've got another friend that you're hanging out with. So I was really humbled by that this week. I really had to sit back and and think to myself, you know, how am I doing that? And and I'm I'm going forward. I'm I'm this is one of the many things I'm committing to that I need to to start living the life of Jesus Christ, not as a mask, but as a relationship and as my world to be a part of the kingdom.

Yeah. And there's there's simplicity in that. Right? Like, there's a lot of complication in our lives in trying to balance how we do certain things, how we deal with certain people. And and a lot of it is it's questionable what we're actually protecting. Like, we're protecting a sometimes we're protecting a relationship where they really don't know you. And that's weird. That's weird. Hey, there's a guy that doesn't know me. Because, like, if I feel like I I can't be comfortable talking to him about Jesus stuff, I feel like that guy don't know me. But sometimes we'll go to great lengths to protect that relationship. You know, well, I don't wanna offend that guy or I'm gonna say something he's not gonna understand it. Well, like, if it's something that you would normally have said or something you normally would have shared,

like, there just isn't a reason to to protect that. Just like we falter on the opposite side, and there's someone who just I I don't agree with or whatever. And, like, then I way overreact at something so that they know who I am. And, like, just be who you are. You just be a guy that loves Jesus, and and and that that is what it is. And people will react how they're gonna react. Jesus didn't pout and and stamp his foot when when people turned and left because they didn't like what he had to say. He just said what he had to say. And some people some people accepted it and some people rejected it. And, like, it's just just who he was. You you deal with Jesus as he is. He's you know? And, boy, I I don't know. I've been thinking about that a lot just within within my life. Like, what complications have I allowed in my life? Things that are what what relationships in mind are complicated that shouldn't be? What circumstances are complicated that shouldn't be? Things where a lot I'm I'm I'm I'm protecting something that doesn't need protected, or I'm I'm holding up something that doesn't need held up. And, like, what? It's just a lot of work. It's a lot of work to do that kind of stuff. And so, I mean, I take I I hear what you're saying because because a lot of times the output of that is kind of what you're talking about is, like, you do one thing and maybe that's what you feel, and then you kind of I don't You're either protecting something or you end up representing something that's inconsistent.

And sometimes the put on is the god stuff. You're putting on the god stuff. That's the mask for some other folk, you know. Mhmm. Tricky. Tricky. Mike, you got a dear life from the path? We got time for, like, one. Okay. Here we go. Dear

life from the path, I've been married to a wonderful man for seventeen years, and we have two children. My life should be perfect, and it is, until it's time to visit my in laws. Uh-oh. We don't see them more than a few times a year, but I've taken to pleading work as an excuse not to see them on the holidays or special occasions.

If I can avoid it. I have even spent Christmas at home alone because I can't stand how verbally abusive my in laws are. Uh-oh. My mother-in-law admits to being mean and nasty. Okay. She says she doesn't care because she hates people. They are now pressuring my husband to move nearer to them. The thought makes me sick. My life could have been so different if these relatives were nice, normal people. I wanted us to be friends. I'm a kind person, but I have never been good enough for them. I would never even dream of saying some of the things they have said to me. They're upper middle class, and I'm trash. I never thought when I married my husband that his family would enjoy making me miserable. The Easter holidays are coming, and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid one day the buildup of anger will make me explode. How can I make their verbal abuse stop? I'm sick of being the brunt of jokes and sarcastic comments.

Where is that in the list of dudes not to marry? I wanted to let your parents beat a bunch of alive. No kidding. What a pansy. Yeah. That man needs to be a man. He needs he needs to stand up for his wife and and Right. Lay him the law. Yep. He should open up he should knock on the door, and his mom opens and says, hi, son, and he goes, skin in the game, and then he terrorizes him Yeah. Until it stops. I don't know. Here's the deal. I I love my mom, but I I would know I would there would be no chance I would ever put up with that. No. Like, seriously, never. Yeah. You know, I I just I can't even see a dude that even sees past that. You know what I'm saying? That's like, I didn't know that was happening. You know? I mean Yeah. There's just really no excuse for this behavior.

Yeah. Hi, mom. You're verbally abusive. We're not coming. Yeah. It's because I hate people. Well, that's gonna be a problem. Well, well My wife is a person. I would say, well, good. This works out then. We're not coming around. Yeah. Yeah. You know we needed more people to drive your anger. We're staying home. He has no business. I mean, he's he's going to holidays without her. That's lame. That guy's lame. Yeah. Hey, man. If my spouse has to work on the holidays, we stay home. Yeah. Like, me and the kids will hang out, wait for the wife to get off work if that's the case. You know, I don't go other people's place. That's outrageous. Well, like it what I mean, she's not it's not like she's being smooth about it. I think you'll get the hint for, say, the eighth year in a row that she's working or, like, I got a headache or whatever. Yeah. Hey. It's weird that you always have to work or get sick when you go to my parents' house. Lawns. That's weird. I now here's the deal though. However, I feel like she's overstating her case. Yeah. You know, they're rich and blah blah blah, and I'm trash. Well, like, if this woman hates people,

why are you even validating anything she has to say as if it's accurate? Like, are you really trash? Because, like, if you're if that's her opinion, like, I I hate that. I hate that people give other people power to do that kind of stuff. Like, hey. Here's a guy that's dead wrong, and it hurts me. Yeah. You know what? If I haven't the most frustrating times of my life, people call me up, they're like, so and so is way overreacting. I'm like, they have a history of doing that. Yeah. How many times have we been through this? But they're really doing it this time. They do it every time. They're overreact people. And, like, every time it happens, you call and be like, so and so is really overreacting. Yeah. They've been doing that forever. When are you gonna just give up on making it a big hairy stink? You know what I'm saying? They're crazy. Yeah. Like, I know a real nasty guy, and he's mean to me.

Okay. Okay. That's what nasty people do. Yeah. It's the nature of their existence. I've been going through this with my daughter at school. There's one girl there that just gives her the business every day, but picking on her, you know, saying mean stuff. And and every day, you know, like, it's kinda toned down a little bit last week, so we had talked about it. But but she's like, so and so making fun of me. She's being mean. I'm like, she's mean every day. Every day, it's the same gal. I said, here's the deal. There's problems at her place. Okay? Let's pray for her. Other than that, ignore this woman. Expect her to do the worst thing possible, and then when she's only half that bad, you'll have joy. That's what you're gonna do. You know? And, like, I I just it kills me. Now now granted, there's there's there's room to to to obviously pray for these folks. But, like, if you continually going to the same source of person and being outraged by continual behavior that's been the same for years, it's you that's the fool, not the other way around. Yeah. You know? Like, it's it's if it's if it's come expected to be the norm, then your ability to be outraged by it is gone. Outrage comes from, I can't believe this happened. Yeah. Well, you can believe it's happened if it continually happens. You can't be outraged anymore. It's done. Yeah. Yeah. And and and stop giving people control. Like, either either you're trying to soak it in from other people by how bad this person is treating you or you're really giving this person control over, like, over your life. Don't I mean, why would you give someone the ability to define who you are, what you do, what you believe? Like, that's just dumb. And that's actually a lot of the lot of the stuff you were talking about, Troy, is that you have like, what people may think or what people may do or how they might might react. Like, you've just you've opened the gate and said, okay. Here, you get to control what I do in life. Right. And that's how we end up not doing skin in the game is because we give someone else the ability to say, hey. Control me. Go ahead and puppet me around with what you think. Like, that guy like, that guy has any more power than you got. You just kinda ceded to him. Hey, buddy. Who doesn't agree with me? Push me around a while. Like, it's just it's a weird it's a pansy position. And we but we do that a lot with a lot of different things. And, like, that it complicates your life. It complicates your life to start giving control over your life to other people, and we give it to the weirdest people. People that have no right to have any control over your life. Like, people you don't even know that intimidate you from across the room. Like, you don't even know that guy. Yeah. And you just gave him power to say, hey, you know, impact my life for the negative. Take it. It's weird. It's weird we do that stuff. Secular says, if your husband is wonderful, why has he tolerated his parents treating you this way for seventeen years? He should have insisted from the beginning of your marriage that you be treated with respect. I can't believe the two of you would expose your children to this multiple times a year. You can't make your in laws stop their verbal abuse, but your husband might be able to if he locates his spine and puts his foot down. There should be no more talk of moving close to these toxic people, nor should there be any more visits to them until they either change their attitude or learn to watch their mouth. If your husband feels he must go, then he should go alone, and you should stop making excuses for your abs.

Home run for secular. Yeah. I feel like this secular put on the big girl pants. And when she says something, she says it was a force. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. There's not a lot of dance around. I disagree with her on occasion, but but not because she's tiptoed around the issue. I really appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. Solid advice. Sweet and secular. Hey. You're listening to live from the path coming at you every week from ten to 11PM. Well, 11:30. Heck, 11:40 maybe. Here on the livefromthepath.org on Monday nights, also Saturdays at 07:00 on ninety nine point three KTA. Here's the deal. We're gonna beat the Real Men of Faith Conference on on Friday at seven at the, excuse me, Rising Sun Church Christ in, in Pleasant Hill, Iowa. There's still time to get involved. I go to realmeniowa.org.

That sound right? How you doing? Yeah. Or search that. It'll pop up one way or the other. And, Bob Russell's gonna be out there. It's free to go. Hey. It's it's a it's a lot of fun. I've you know, I I I've gotten something out of it every year I've gone. Yeah. Big things that, I think focusing on, husbands and fathers this year, we're talking about that. They're talking about that. And, and we'll be out there. We'd love to say hi to you, but, make sure you go to that thing. It's it's important, fellas. Make it out there. You're listening to life in the past. We'll see you next week.