Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live from the path.

Path, the people from the Pathway Studios here in Johnston Cupboard. What is that? I don't know. It's an iffy Internet connection and a slow computer. Lag. Here's the deal. We broadcast fifty. 10PM on the Internet. I don't know what you thought you were getting into, but

this is what you're getting into. You've gotten on to life in the past. My name is Ben Foust. It's good to have you with us tonight. Here's what we got going on. First of all, it's kind of a truncated studio here it's me me, Dan, and Dave Herrick hanging out. So, you know, I don't know. I'll invoke a stand in mic if necessary if we need to fire something up with the rippledry. I can, I can handle that? Here's what I got going on the show tonight. First of all, so there was there was an article on Time Time Magazine, and

it it basically had to do with what I gained when I lost my religion. It was a former evangelical Christian reflects on the benefits of losing his faith. And there were there there were basically… There were 10 things that he listed. I I like a… I'm a I'm a big fan of a list. I just deal well with lists. 10 things of blah blah blah. I like lists. Yeah. So so, anyway, he listed 10 things, 10 benefits, basically, of losing his faith. And so over the next ten weeks, we're just gonna kinda pick one off a week and and see if we can understand where he's coming from. What what truth is there to what he's talking about? How would how would you see it differently in the way that he's explained it? So I read through that, and and it was just grief. I just felt grief. Interesting. Alright.

So… Yeah. So, yeah, we'll see how that goes. We'll we'll… I I think there'll be some interesting things that come out of that… Come out of these examples. Yeah. Yeah. So we're gonna go through that. Dan's got some what's trending in the news. Dan, you hit me with a preview. What's going on? Let's see. We got three different things. We got Kanye West trying to get everyone to stand up at a concert, and some of them are in wheelchairs. Didn't go over well. Mhmm. Big old popular video right now going around of a dad playing peekaboo with his daughter, and and somewhere in there, he loses his very long beard. I I think it's just the youngest daughter. She only knew him with a beard, and it was quite a reaction. K. And then there's an elementary school in Virginia that banned lip balm and a girl who is fighting it.

Oh, yeah. Very serious. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's… Yeah. I think we should definitely take that on. And finally, one other thing that I came across this week that I thought was interesting… Actually, it was part of a different story about a couple, a Christian couple that had broken up.

As a matter of fact, I'll start with this. So there was, it it was about some musicians, some Christian musicians, that I'd recently come across some of their music, and I was just interested, so I was kinda googling And it was very sad because what… They had they had gotten married, and then there was some… Sounds like some infidelity, and then they had broken up. So, anyway, I was kinda catching up. It it really stinks, by the way. It's like you find a… You find an artist, and you start to like their music, and then you go learn more. And, like, instantly, you go from, hey. Introduction. Exciting. Get to know them. And all of a sudden, they're getting a divorce, and you're like, oh. That's like a lot to happen in a span of, like, twenty minutes Oh, man. Of getting to know people. Yeah.

Anyway, I… It was it was it was a real bummer. Like, I felt I felt really sad for them. But, anyway, so they they… There's just this article kinda talking through this thing. And one of the one of the things that I didn't… This just caught my eye, and so I I wanted to share it. It says while approval for divorce within the church has increased within the past few decades, here's the big stat. 90% of evangelicals

remain opposed to extramarital affairs. Now So 10% permit extramarital affairs? That is the question. I'm

all for it. Or is it just 10% didn't fill out the survey? Where in the heck does this stat come from, and who is the guy that's like the one in 10 that likes the crappy toothpaste and says, yeah. You know what? I'm not really opposed to extramural affairs. This seems fine to me. Wow. I thought… I was I was… Actually, I tried to get ahold of the guy that, the person that wrote it. I mean, the article, by the time I read it, was,

you know, months old. But, like, I couldn't believe there was no other reference in… Especially in the in the comments. This was like a Christian post. You know? People are all over this stuff. And I'm like, where is the con… The conversation around the 10% that are like, yeah. You know what? I'm not opposed to this. This seems fine. Heck, man. Even the guilty are like, no. You know what? That's not supposed to happen, but I did it. You know what mean? It's fine. You look at all the statistics, though, they have it, and and I'm always amazed at, like, you know, how many people really don't believe in the Bible, but they call themselves, you know, evangelical Christians. Or how many of them, yeah, god's alright. You know? I mean,

you read those polls, you think, what? I mean, are they are they confused with what the term is? What is a a Christian? You know, what is a follower of Christ? If I don't really believe in Jesus, I I don't really follow him. Well, then you're not a, you know, Christian or a follower of Christ. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised to see a much higher approval rate across broad society.

Mhmm. And and probably… And here's the deal. In practice, if you were to say, if I have done it, then I do not oppose it, that number is certainly worse than 90%. Mhmm. However,

as plainly stated, as if you took a survey, it just seemed very odd to me that there was a 10% contingent that are like, you know what? No big deal for me. I think this is gonna be fine. Anyway, that was, I I have nothing else to say on the matter. It was just an interesting stat that I thought… I I couldn't I couldn't figure out why it wasn't a broader point of discussion within the article because of, like, of people getting divorced. I'm like, yeah. It happens. I get it. It makes me sad. But that particular set, I thought, was rife with commentary, and there was no one talking about it. I thought we're talking about the wrong things here. We're not focusing on the right items. Alright. So I'm gonna give you an introduction to, the What I Gain When I Lost My Religion. Was an article from time.com.

It's from today. And, here… Here's basically the setup. It says people often ask me if my life is better now that I've left my religion. My honest answer is that it's a mixed bag. On the negative side, I have to say that the reactions to people who liked me better when I still had faith have been at times very strong. I usually become a target for re… Revangelism for a while, but they eventually learn to quit pushing me after they realize that I've heard everything they have to say about this a thousand times. Most people probably just decide I'm being stubborn and or that the devil's got me under a spell, semicolon.

But while the pushing may stop, the disappointment lingers on. Some do their best to keep a lid on that, which I appreciate, but you can still hear it in their voices, and that can hurt. If you crave the approval of people and if you live where I live, I wouldn't recommend atheism for you. But once you rule out how some have behaved toward me because of my unbelief, I have to say that when I'm not working too much, I'm enjoying in life in a way that I haven't enjoyed it in a long time. It's not always about what I'm doing at the time either. Often, it's just about feeling more at home in my own skin than I ever felt when I still believe that Earth is not my home and that I'm supposed to be longing for some other place. To explain what I mean, here's a list of the things which leaving my religion has brought me. Not everyone will necessarily experience the same things I did, but these are the benefits that I see personally I have personally derived from this development. So before we get to the first one, I I don't know. Anything in the premise, even to buildup that you have a reaction to? I I noticed the word I in there a ton as I was reading through the… Those first couple paragraphs. I, me, I, me, me, I, I, Chris is writing about himself. I realize that. But Yeah. But it's like a… He's a a self absorbed person that's, like, finally free from the shackles of this self imposed guilt he'd given himself. I I I don't see in here anywhere a a real relationship

with Jesus or a real understanding of the word of god. I think he had a list. He lived by the list of do's and don'ts and good and bad and and guilty and, you know, and and he just felt bad all the time, I think. So he did… I I think he didn't have a very healthy relationship in the first place with with Christ. He's looking at it as religion, and and that's kind of a foreign word to me. So so maybe that… That's a bias I already have when I was reading it. But but that that was my initial thoughts on it. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. I I kinda actually agree with him on on a lot of it, especially his his take on religion. I mean, I… I've seen Christianity manifested as a religion apart from Christ. In other words, you know, people just kinda going through a lot of the Christian things to do, a lot of the the the Christian y emotions, listening to the Christian bands, doing whatever it is that good Christians do.

Without Christ there, you've taken the heart out of the thing. And what you're left with is actually pretty ugly. And I think he's just kind of calling it for what it is. It really is kind of an ugly thing. Somewhere along the path,

either he missed it or someone just failed to introduce Jesus. And what they did was said, hey, here's what it means to be a Christian. All right. We'll do that. And so they, you know, they do the Sunday morning thing and they do the the the Christian y thing, but, you know, a lot of the things that as I was reading through the article, it just seems to be looking at, well, what's that Christian religion thing look like? And you know what? Without Christ,

I'd reject it too. I think that Christian religion, quite frankly, a religion is supposed to connect someone with God. It's supposed to feed and take care of the poor and take care of people. But that's

not what it was doing. It was, for the most part, just kind of pointing back at itself and saying, hey, you must be this and you must be that and you must have these answers and you must do these things. Yeah. I was picturing kind of the modern church… A lot of the modern church. I don't wanna, you know, knock at all because there's some good churches. But but a lot of the modern churches, it's all about the moment and and and the event and and, you know, the band and and the splash and the glitter and even some good moral teaching. There's some good moral teaching in these, but there's there's there's a lack of Jesus. Yeah. You know? It… It's… Why do we do this? Well, I don't know. Because, you know, because… Just just stop stop doing this and stop doing that. And why? Because because we say so. That's what our religion teaches as opposed to let's just connect with Jesus like you're saying. And I I I… That was missing the element. Yeah. Yeah. This is something that I I honestly struggled with. Back when my daughter was born, we lived in a country that requires a birth certificate to be filled out, including the child's religion or at least the family's religion. Yeah. And I'd really struggled between… I mean, I I grew up in a in a Christian background and…

But at this point, I I was just… I'm a guy who follows Jesus. That that's it. I had rejected all those religious elements and just pursued Jesus because he has the words of life. He he he is life incarnate. And so I I just follow him. That's not in a religious sense, but not something that you could really tell from the outside as being different. But What did on the you birth certificate?

I went ahead and it was a long struggle. I almost left it blank, but I eventually just I filled it in as Christian because that's our family background, our tradition. If it was just something that was only for me and for my family,

our records, would have been blank. But this is something that speaks to all of society. And it would be similar to what's your citizenship? Well, I'm American. Even though there's a lot of things that I do that are well beyond American, but this is still kind of honoring to some extent the tradition that I come from and speaking to them in the way that they understand it. They're looking at religion in terms of what do you do,

what's your practice. And well, realistically, there's a lot of Christian practices that are in my life and I do come from a Christian background. So I went ahead and included that. But quite frankly, that's not the dominant driving force for me. That… That's not why I do it. Well, so that… I mean, that's interesting because I read… There was an article that my my wife and I were talking about. It's probably a couple years ago, and it was the lead singer from… It was it was Bono from U2, and Mhmm. The lead singer from Bumford and Sons Yeah. Was

talking about, about separating themselves or, like like, they… About using the word Christian. Let's say, I wouldn't I wouldn't identify as Christian. And, and the thing is is I I thought about that for a while, and I thought, you know, this is the same

this is the same term that the first century church is, is eventually embracing. First, first, it was derision. Right? But then ultimately came to came to, you know, identify them. Mhmm. And I thought, you know, it's just

because someone has identified… To who identifies underneath that banner Mhmm. Is doing things that otherwise… That that aren't that aren't following Jesus or distracting from Jesus. There was just a part of me that thought, I I I really feel like, like, it's easy to to to walk away from that, but, like, there's a little bit of a responsibility to thought, like, why are… We should fight for that term. Like, meant something different than what it means. Reclaim it. That's the truth. The truth is that it means something different today to most… In the eyes of most people than it did if you were to find someone in a d eighty Right. With that term. And and I think if I understand… If I'm understanding your sentiment correctly, it's,

because of of of how people use that term and, frankly, how even the church has has has used that term, that isn't something that I necessarily wanna be like, yeah. I identify with this institution. Mhmm. However, there was a part of me that thought, like, crap. Like, we… We've we've let this thing go. Yeah. And and and, like, we're we're letting the dogs, you know, put the put the, I don't know, the family name on and then pee all over the streets, and we're like, well, we just better get a new name. Well… And, originally, you know, it was it was some believe it was the nonbelievers looking at the followers of Christ. It was a derogatory term. Right. Mhmm. You Christian. You know? Yeah. Which would be the greatest compliment to them because that means they're Mhmm. Little Christ. They like it. They're walking his steps. You know? Mhmm. Yeah. And we we we kinda do need to reclaim

But but but the thing is is, what… Here's what I don't want. What a waste of time within hype at the quote Christian circles to be battling over a stupid name. We got better stuff to do. So, like, in practice, I don't think I'll ever do anything about it. Mhmm. However, there was a part of me that thought, ugh. I hate that. Hate why I say Christ follower, which is the same thing. Mhmm. Yeah. Just not the word. Yeah. Mhmm. So Yeah. That someone's gonna screw up priced follower. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. We just have to keep changing the name. It's that 10%. Extramural affairs are just foreign. Yeah. The the thing that I don't want is it to just be regaled

down to just here's a simple… Single single singular label for who you are, and then they don't look at the complexity of what it might mean to me. I want to have a discussion. Don't want to just say fill in the blank and move on. No. No. And that's actually true for most things. We've got the power of of media, like, the the the way that that our culture has been shaped by how quickly ideas can spread,

Christians are always like, well, it depends. Here… Here's… This is this is not a this is not a referendum at all, but the truth is is, like, when it comes to media, like, Christian stuff in the media, Pentecost is all over it, man. Those guys know what is on the forefront, and they are in on it. Like, they know how to get on the on the forefront of media, and then everybody else is, like, fifteen years behind. Yeah. You know? And then they jump on it like they just found out about it and then diving in like they're gonna change the world. But the deal is is we are having conversations in a… On a broad spectrum that aren't broad spectrum conversations. Right. You know I'm saying? Hey. I wanna relay… I wanna talk to you about a relationship with Jesus Christ in a very impersonal way. And I get it. We're, like, we're we're part of that, but that's that's kind of the concept of, even if you look at life in the past versus other radio programs, there are guys talking

at you to influence you on how to do things. You… Frankly, with our program, you're just sitting in on a conversation that we're having anyway. We're just having to put some microphones and cameras up. Mhmm. And it's not that I don't love you. It's just like I can't have a conversation with you. I don't know you. Yeah. And and, like, I I don't I don't proclaim to have a bunch of wisdom that I can just kinda speak into your life. We've not met. But I know the guys that are in this room, and and I know that our experiences aren't so different that you might be able to benefit from conversations that we are otherwise having or come… Things that happen in my life. So, like, if you're looking for for for some… Somebody to, like, influence your life from behind this microphone in a broad spectrum way, I feel like that's that's not us because I don't know that I can have that genuine of a conversation, but I can I can talk to Dan and Dave Herrick while they sit here in front of me? But but, like, but that… But that's what we do. And, like, that's… All the biggest things that Christianity has been fighting, especially in mainstream media, is when we had broad conversations that don't belong in that arena. Mhmm. Now the thing is is, like, you'll find guys who will try to stay out of that, and they're gonna get beat up one way or the other. Like, the guy says, you know what? I I… That's a conversation I'd love to have, you know, at a kitchen table with someone who's asking me about that type of thing, but I'm… I… You know, I just don't really wanna go into that here. It's it's much more than a pithy answer that I can give. And and and and there there are segments, in fact, broad segments of of a, Christian population that gets real pissed at that because because they're like, you know, why won't you just stand firm on biblical truth? Well,

the question isn't what's true. It's like, what's the right audience? Mhmm. Is… I mean, do do you really change hearts by, you know, by by people hearing half of what you say because you weren't sitting down looking and having a conversation that is good and that is healthy and that allows them to react and have questions, and you can see their face and you can see their reaction. Like, that's just a different vibe than, you know, spraying your sprinkles all out over the back seat and then hoping that people will take a look at it. Like, it's just it's a goofy way of going about stuff with the message that we're talking about. Mhmm. And so, anyway… And there were a couple of things in that… In the in the preface that I that I thought that struck me. One was

one was the, the people that put a lid on that, of the… Of trying to evangelize him, which which probably… It could speak… Here's what I don't know. It could speak either to how he views things,

or people are going about talking to him. Because here's the deal. I've never been at a kitchen table with somebody or at a coffee shop or cafe and talking to someone about something relatively serious or something that's impacted to their life, and they and they gave anything to the expression of put a lid on it. Right? But I have seen people. I've not been a part of this, but I have seen people walk up and just randomly start talking to somebody about Jesus, which was not, like, anything… Like, just interrupted somebody and basically said, I don't love you. I wanna say what I wanna say, and I've heard something similar to that. Mhmm. So, I mean, you know, okay. Possibly. And then, ever felt when I still believe the Earth is not my home and that I'm supposed to be longing for some other place. I have a theological problem with that. Yeah. But, you know, what are both… We can differ on that, I guess. But but, I mean, I guess what I would say is if he was here, it's like, can help you with that perspective. Do do you mean you have a theological problem with the religion or the religion's position or with this this guy's position? I I think it's probably both. I think it put whatever he was involved with got passed on to him that said,

life suck… Life sucks. God rocks. Wait it out. He'll burn everybody. And I'm like, yeah. That's lame. Yeah. That's lame. Hey. I created created something. It was good, but I will destroy it. Yeah. Alright. Anyway… So, anyway, here's number one. What I gained when I lost my religion. Peace of mind. As a person who likes to try to understand the world around me, I have found that this perspective fits so much better with the world I see than the religious perspective ever did, and that brings a tangible sense of satisfaction for me. Every week, every month, I find things seem to get clearer and clearer to me. Things just make a whole lot more sense to me now. Julia Sweeney said it perfectly when she said, the world behaves exactly as you would expect it would if there were no supreme being. I don't mean that I understand everything, and I've still got plenty of unanswered questions. But you don't have to be ruled by your need to have answers to all your questions. I think our religious fee… Our religions feed that problem in order to perpetuate our need for them. Leaving your religion can free up… Free you up to find better answers to some questions while enabling you to let go of the ones that don't really have good answers.

I don't know. What are your thoughts? It sounds like religion was kind of taking the wrong position on this one. I don't like I don't like it when religion kind of comes at me from a a very top down type of a perspective where God has given us all the answers. I don't know any human beings that would qualify like that, that they have all the answers. And anyone who gets up in front of a microphone and pretends that they do, I mean, can smell it from a mile away. I mean, so

if he's been in a community where the leaders are taking that kind of position, hey, we have the right answer to everything, yeah, I'd want to get out of that too. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds creepy. It it… I think it'd be even worse if if they were expecting me to have all the right answers. I mean, this Yeah. Like, I suppose if you're… If, if whatever whatever…

I I… He said he was an evangelical. Right? So, like, whatever church or body of believers he's in that that's posturing as if, a, they have all the right answers or that god is saying, I will give you all the right answers. Like, that's just a mistaken view of god. Yeah. I don't remember him ever promising that. No. No. As a matter of fact, there's a lot of there's a lot of mystery in that deal. Yeah.

Back half of Job is like everything you don't know. I see a lot more of God kind of posturing to say, hey. I'll walk with you in the in the mystery, and and let me reveal some of these things. He's not gonna reveal everything, but let me walk with you as you explore the wonder of what I've put together. Yeah. And and that I I like, and I appreciate. I like the people who will come with honest questions and say, hey. I don't understand why marsupials. That just doesn't make sense to me. Yeah. God. And God's like, hey, it was just a funky day or something. I do what I do. Whatever. Yeah. I mean, but just sitting back and saying, hey, this looks cool. This is amazing. I wonder what's going on with it. And just being able to be awestruck and and in a sense of wonder. I I think we often miss that in our churches. We'll… We try to have God all figured out and creation all figured out, and and I think we lose something with… Because of that. Mhmm. Well, he seems to be… To come from a place where

god is in a pretty small box. You know? This is this is what god is, and this is what religion… He keeps using religion. You know what religion is. And he feels that now he's opened that box, and he's walked away from the box. Now he sees things better. Now he understands things more clearly. Now everything is just… It's just coming into focus that wasn't before. And the the the scripture that went through my mind as I was reading that is… Because because he's deceived in this, partly maybe because maybe he just was in a wrong setting. You know? He did… He didn't engage fully in Christ, which we kinda covered that, which means he's not coming at it from a full picture. You know? But the the scripture I was thinking of as I was reading his comments was in the Proverbs. How's that go? There's a way that seems right for a man, but in the end, it leads to death. Right. That… That's the the nutshell of it. And I thought that… That's where he's he's marching toward death right now, and, like, he he doesn't know it. He kinda knew it in the past, but now he's like, no. That that was false. And now I'm… I don't know what he's marching toward now. I suppose just a nonexistence is what his thought is. But at some point,

you know, this life will end, and and and and he will see his lord. And and, you know, I'm… I I fear for where he… He's at. You know, I'm I'm hoping he kinda comes around. Is a guy. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was thinking so.

And and I hope he comes around and kinda comes to terms that that… With with with genuine Christianity. Mhmm. You know? Because I I just feel bad for him. I just feel… Just… It's… My heart just ached as I was reading that that first one. You know? But he feels so free now. And it's like, oh, the

freedom's in truth. The freedom's in Christ, there's this living water and this bread. You know? It's just like, you've missed it all. You've got the religion. You've got the the Czechsliptic. So Missed it. Let me ask you this. So what what do you think from what we know of of of Christianity or evangelical culture? Like, what causes this? What causes him to feel like that? To feel like he can't ask questions, to feel constrained, to feel like life isn't… Or or the world isn't clear?

Like, what are the behaviors that's contributing to to something like that? I I think we stopped disciple making. We've kinda talked about that in the past. You know, he wasn't discipled. He he was converted and thrown in a group Mhmm. And said this keep keep looking like us. We're making clones of each other, but but not of Jesus. Right? And and so that's where he's… Did I answer your question? That's what that's what I was… Was going through my mind when you were saying that. He's not been discipled,

and so he doesn't know what he's missing. He he doesn't he thinks he knows what he had, but he doesn't know what he had. What he's so close to. I I I would almost say that it's deeper than just him. I I would almost start to look at some of the leaders in his community and ask, how did they respond to the questions when you brought him? Because there's something about that that kind of communicated to him, hey, your questions are inappropriate. And, you know, I I never saw that in Jesus. He never seemed to say, hey, this question is inappropriate. Don't ask me. And, you know, there by all means, someone can bring me a question and I do not know the answer to it. Nope, tell them straight up, nope, sorry, I don't know the answer to it. And whatever your question is, by all means, I mean, it may be something that I'm struggling with.

As a leader, you should be comfortable with the fact that you're struggling with things. You're struggling with ideas. There are things that we're wrestling with. And if we can't, as leaders, also model that and convey to people, hey. It's okay for you to be struggling with things as well. Then they're just gonna take it and and hide it and stuff it, and they won't know how to deal with it, how to actually bring it to Jesus. Because quite frankly, a lot of the questions that I don't have the answer to, maybe it's because that's something that's between him and God and that the Holy Spirit's eventually going to be the one who will who will reveal what it is that that you're searching for. And, you know…

Yeah. I I think because we have not made disciples of of Jesus Mhmm. We had to… We made disciples of something. It's it's not that, like, our hearts were were bad. We were being on purpose, you know, being malicious and and… So… But we started making disciples of of our church. You know? This is our brand. This is how we do it. Yeah. And we're teaching all of these. This this is our way. Mhmm. And I I remember years ago, a guy coming in off off the street, basically. He was an alcoholic drug addict, and and and I can't remember how we met this, but we met. And and and he found out about Jesus and and was just diving into the scripture and wanting to be discipled. And I remember thinking the last thing I wanted to do was, like, unleash him into, like, a Sunday school class Uh-huh. Where they would teach him how to… This is how we do church. You know? Yeah. You've gotta put shoes on. You know? And you better wear this kind of pants, and Uh-huh. This is how you speak. You know? Yeah. And and,

you know, if the Holy Spirit wants to do do that to him, great. But but I didn't want it to be… We… We've discipled what our church looks like. Yeah. What does that what does that tell you, though, when, we find those rare gems of those people that somehow stumbled upon Jesus and they absolutely love who Jesus is and what he's done and they want to follow him passionately with all their heart. And we meet someone like this and we we wanna shelter them from the church because we don't want the church's yeast to get involved in this guy's life. Yeah. What does that tell you? Yeah. We we we we we messed up. Yeah. I don't know. A couple generations ago. Whenever it was. This… My generation. I I… Whatever. I mean, somewhere along the line,

we we we we stopped making the main thing the main thing. Right. And and I and I suppose that that contributes to his broad… To to that broad thing, which is he he lost he lost some wonder. He lost he lost some freedom because what what Jesus felt like to him was was shackles. Right? It it felt like, I I I don't get to be me. That that, it was italicized up in the… I didn't I didn't tell you that, but, like, up in its introduce… Introduction paragraph, says, often, just about feeling more at home in my own skin. And the the thought is is that, although Jesus wants to, wants to transform you into the… Into what he… The best of what he created it to be,

it is still you. Mhmm. He is still a unique creator god. Yeah. And and and the more that you know Jesus and walk with Jesus, like, I feel like you you should becoming more and more… Feeling more and more comfortable in your own skin because he continually reveals what that skin is. Mhmm. And and I feel like what what we what we really do is we we, by our actions, paint a skin that you're supposed to… Like, we just want you to jump into that skin and then find a way to get comfortable with it. And, really, it's the skin of, a two hundred and eighty pound man. And we're like, I just don't fit into this guy. Right. And I don't like fried chicken. And so what am I supposed to do except for either say… Convince myself that I'm somebody who I'm not,

or bail and say this isn't me? Mhmm. And, like… And and I I get it. There's there's there's some theological reasons to be like, whatever you think this is not you. Well, actually, it shouldn't be you, and you need to give that up. I'm with you. Right. But, like, that's part of what Jesus… Like, what you find is as people submit to that stuff, the people that are truly allowing the Holy Spirit to work in part of their lives, they don't have that same regret. Mhmm. They say, look what look what God delivered me

from and into, not look what he's taking away from me. But the the problem is is, like, often, I'm not sure that we're allowing the holy spirit to transform people.

We're trying to do the holy spirit's work on his behalf and say, no. No. No. No. Like, this is what you're supposed to do. This is how you're supposed to be. And so and so it doesn't… What what I experience as freedom may not feel like freedom to somebody else if I'm trying to get them to to to be me because God didn't create them to be me. He created them to be them Mhmm. With the guns of the Holy Spirit. So Yeah. Yeah. I I I would agree. I think that that contributes to how a guy ends up like that is is,

we are we are not even… Even when we're trying to make disciples, what we're trying to do is is is, like, I don't know, paint disciples. Mhmm. And then say, here's here's what a disciple here. Get him a uniform. That guy wants it to be a disciple. Get him the uniform. Mhmm. He's gonna wear this hat. Give him this ESV only. Get him, you know, get him these items. He's gonna be fine. So… Yeah. But but but I guess maybe that comes back to to the point we talked about earlier, which is,

discipleship happens at at at dinner tables. It happens at conversations. It happens at, it happens when people are close enough to smell like somebody else that's following Jesus and say, that smells good. Where's… Where do you get that smell? Mhmm. And, and even even the thought, I think, of, like, discipleship factory where we're like, we can reach the most people the most time, the most efficiently, you might be able to reach somebody. You… People might be hearing what you are saying. But, ultimately, with even the way that information is transmitted, are we getting them to know a god that isn't true?

Right? An impersonal god that that trans transmits information for you to soak in and then says, now put on the hat. Like, you you read the old… You read the manual. Now put on the hat. It's time to get to work. Like, well, you know, I could get a job. I don't want a job as a Christ follower. I wanna follow Christ and then see what happens around that. It's not an open position. It's an invitation for a kingdom. And so, yeah. Yeah. Alright. I'm not even sure that the paradigm of get the most people is even one that Jesus followed. I mean, he spent three years in,

of the 11 guys… Or the 12 guys that he really invested in, 11 of them were clueless, one of them was dead at the end of it. No. That's true. And as a matter of fact, was, reading through Mark and stuff this week. Like, the closer they get to Jerusalem where Jesus is heading towards Jerusalem, the dumber those guys get. Like, they are getting more and more dumb Yeah. As the days go by. But, ultimately, again, got us in the transformation business. Those guys, through the… Taking the message of Christ forward, the world has changed.

The world of Christianity is a is a is a majority in society. Mhmm. I what the difference makes when the Holy Spirit enters. Because, you it it was until, you know, Acts two when the Holy Spirit comes. Oh, they get it. You know? Yeah. And and it's it's true with us. You know? It's it's it's allowing space for the Holy Spirit and and rather than build these walls and fences and lists and and and Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So I I don't know. I'm… I think we can learn a lot from this man. So we got… He's got 10 reasons. We got nine more weeks to go. We'll just kinda Alright. Plop into these. If you guys wanna read ahead, you go to time.com. It's… I think it's linked on the front page, but you can find it under what I gained when I lost my religion. It's just something to pray about. And he… Here's the deal. Let me warn you up front. The right reaction isn't to be like, what

a doofus. He's he's had some interaction with the people of Jesus, and he… I do not believe that you can run… Like, have such what I call a mid ground reaction to the people of Jesus that are following Jesus honestly. You know what I'm saying? Like, I… I'd expect you to either run away or dive in. Mhmm. His reaction makes me feel like there was probably some opportunity

in whatever he's been exposed to, to point more towards Christ, without knowing the situation. Like, it's just… You don't tend to find those middle ground reactions. Right. So so, anyway, if you wanna read through that, please do pray through that, see what that looks like. And if you see any of yourself contributing to whatever might have happened to this man, yeah, I don't know. Get closer to Jesus. I'm not I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I feel like you might have some options, something to think about. Alright, Dan. What's going on, the world? Alright. Here we go. Number one. An elementary school in Virginia has banned the lip balm from their school because of a concern

over the kids sharing the lip balm. So it's legitimate. You know, you get some infectious diseases. They're trying to protect the kids. Well, a fifth grader in the school started a petition to reverse the ban. It caught the attention of the owners of Balmtastic Lip Balm, which is a multimillion dollar company started by a nine year old and her 10 year old sister just a few years ago. I think they're, like, 16 now, so they're still kids. And

they they jumped on board. They signed the petition. They sent 300 tubes of the fruit flavored lip balm to the fifth grader and then 700 tubes to the school. Like, here… Oh, yeah. Here's some lip balm school. Here's the question. It's it's not a lip balm question. If your elementary school aged child wanted to reverse a policy set by the school board in your community, how would you counsel her? K. So you're you're this gal's parents. Okay. A, tell her to conform because the Bible says to obey your leaders. Mhmm. B, encourage her to fight because you think it's a dumb rule. Or c, have her sneak a lip balm into the school and tell her to make sure no one knows about it. Once again, none of the above on this one.

I'm gonna go with e. You can't do that. I thought of all the answers. Wait. Wasn't e the weep over Jerusalem? Jerusalem?

That's That's right. Right. Yeah. Weep Weep over over Jerusalem. Jerusalem. Your your school is so… Yeah. It just needs weeping. What what would you do? Let's see. She's wanting to reverse a decision. So let's see. You need to somehow get the attention of the decision makers and find out why they've why they've decided the way that they have. They they feel it's dangerous. People are sharing it. They feel it's dangerous? Yeah. They're afraid of people getting sick for sharing lip balm. Okay. Then There's Ebola out there now. People get the Ebola.

Through lip balm. I I I think I would then go to a health expert and and try and get an idea of, hey. Is this actually substantial or not? Uh-huh. And if it is, maybe the health expert expert might change my opinion. But on the other hand, maybe that can help to change the opinion of the decision makers on the council because they're apparently weighing in on a health related issue and I don't think they come from a health background. Okay. So let's Anyways, I I would kind of give them an avenue for trying to address the address the issue.

So that's that's B. Encourage you to fight? I wouldn't say fight. I would just Alright. Key information. Alright. I'll go with B. Encourage… Okay. So using friendlier language, encourage her to pursue

a way to influence the decision. Yes. Okay. Alright. I was a little strong on my terminology, maybe. Lowercase b. There we go. Punch them in the calves. Yeah. Like, I I I… Yeah. I would I would agree. I would,

seems like a sounds like a pretty fun opportunity Mhmm. To allow my child to to to learn to work, to to change things in a way in the same way that I would try to share price with somebody. To be honest with you, like, figure out what's up. Mhmm.

Figure out, how I can relate to what… What's up. Figure out, what information I have that might influence the way they think about what's up, and then maybe change it to the way that they think about WhatsApp. So there you go. Alright.

So, Dan, what's your take? You know, honestly, I… I'm just thinking, what would I really do? Because I'm pretty sure I really wouldn't, like, find a health care professional. I'd be guess I… I mean, no. I'd be like, nah. Honestly, I would probably be the one who, like, tell… Gives her a lip balm and say, okay. Just take this in the bathroom and do it when no one's looking. Don't let anybody see it.

I would break the rule in an unscriptable way. And I like your honesty, Dan. I may have done things like that before. Here. Take take this aspirin.

They say you can't have any pills. You You got a headache. Alright. Chad is more concerned about the toxic flavors and color crap in the balm. Oh, no. It's all natural in this particular. Yeah. I can't speak for all of them, but Balmtastic is like birds of bees on the West Coast. They made it on their kitchen stove originally. Wow. I I think that they're beyond… They sell them in, like, Walmart now. They're pretty big time. It was pretty pretty neat all the way to do. Actually, what a… What an excellent marketing opportunity for the Balmtastic Corporation. Oh, yeah. Mhmm. Heck yeah. We're talking about them worldwide right now on live in the past. I'd stand out on the street corner, hand it out, and then some kind of silly hat, be like, bomb, pass it. Enjoy it on the bus. They don't control the bus.

Okay. Here's another one. K. A video was recently, excuse me, uploaded to YouTube. A very long bearded dad was playing peekaboo with his daughter, hiding his face under a towel. The girl's giggling, having fun with her dad. The dad slips away. He has, like, a really long beard, like like, several inches. He slips away, shaves off his beard. His daughter doesn't know it. He puts the face… His face under the towel again and plays peekaboo again. This time, they lift up the towel. She sees it. She starts bawling. I mean, she's just uncontrollably. She just, like, wants to get away from this freak. She has no idea. And some people think it was, like, a cruel joke to play on the daughter. People, like, you know, making comments, and and they shouldn't have videoed it and all this stuff. Other people think it was innocent fun. So question. What do you think? Lighten up. It's just a dad playing with this girl. No harm is done. B,

the dad should let his daughter watch him shave because she's probably never seen him clean shaven before. She was, like, two. Mhmm. Or c, this is ridiculous. I can't believe people are even talking about it. Oh, man. Wait. One of the options is to stay out of this conversation. I feel like I might take that one. I'm lucky can see right now. Wait. Maybe weep over Jerusalem.

Yeah. What… Whatever. Like, lighten up. Who… I I don't know. People are uptight. Maybe I'm a poor dad, but I… That's funny. Funny. Funny. Yeah. Yeah. I'd do that twice if I could get away with it twice.

Yeah. So, yeah, you gotta lighten that stuff up. Yeah. Here's the deal. If you're gonna be a snarky purveyor of Internet, Internet videos, you're gonna have to learn that, a, no one gives a crap about what you think about it. Mhmm. And, b, I'm not sure I can trust your wisdom depending on how how much of your day you spend watching Internet videos and

commenting on this one. So there you go. Alright. So that was d. Attack the attack the commenters. You know, both both of my daughters were born in January. I tend to grow beards in in winter. Yeah. And so both of them had to live through, you know, never seeing their dad. And all of sudden, you know, I didn't, you know, I didn't, like, make a big deal. I just shaved off my dad. I'm bored with it. Take… And and they'd be like, who who who is that guy? You know? Mhmm. It wasn't quite that. It's like seeing my grandma without her glasses. Like, if you ever grew up with your… Know, my grandma had glasses and Without her teeth. Take them off. Or my grandpa without his teeth. Yeah. Okay. That's not right.

Man, you grow your beard in the winter? I I I know that's pretty common, but, like, it's not really warmer. I don't know. Just makes you feel like it is.

What are you doing? Growing a lie? A misperception that's been passed down forever. What do you think? I don't know. My Sunday school teacher told me to grow a beard. For some reasons, it's a little more socially acceptable, though, in the winter. I don't You're less sketchy to have a beard in the winter.

This is where Christianity went wrong. Alright. What else is cool? Here's last one. Kanye West said he wasn't gonna do the next song in a concert in Sydney, Australia till everybody stood up and he stopped everything, and he's telling me, stand up. Stand up. He just paused forever waiting for everyone to stand up. Some people were in wheelchair. Was was this an Internet video? Yeah. Have you seen it? I I did. That's what I thought. K. Continue. And they were talking about the news the other… Too as well. Mhmm. One guy… Because I… It showed… One guy finally took off his leg. It's brilliant. Like, I can't I can't stand up and and showed it. And it was just an awkward moment.

So the question is, what's the best way to handle an awkward moment when you say something you really shouldn't have said? Or if you hurt someone, you know, you just you just say something. None of us have ever done that, but, you know, said something you shouldn't have said. A, immediately apologize, trust people to forgive, and move on. B, try and pretend it didn't happen and apologize only if people call you on it. Or c, people who get offended by what I say are weak and should be stomped out.

A, apologize and move on. Yeah. Yeah. I… Yeah. You gotta own that thing directly. Yeah. Like, oh, man. I've said the stupidest thing ever. Yeah. Yeah. Like… And here's here's actually what I don't appreciate. I… The… Oh, just apologizing is a half measure. Mhmm. I I want you to say… To recognize how dumb you have been Mhmm. And how… And so that I know that you're, like, you're not just, like, embarrassed because you've been caught,

but I at least have some reason to believe that you've learned a lesson. They're like, hey. I just told a guy who had a prosthetic limb that if he doesn't get up, I'm not gonna perform the song, and he sure showed me the business. And so, sir, I owe you apology. Hopefully, I have learned my lesson. Like, that is acceptable to me, but guys like, oh, that's rough, man. I'm sorry. Like, Like, that's not good enough for me. I really wanna hear it from your mouth. That's how you recognize how foolish you've been. And then, actually, I probably moved on to the not only do I accept your apology, but I enjoyed the whole interaction. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta own that stuff directly. Mhmm.

That's me. If I know I have said something, you know, that just shouldn't… I shouldn't have said, I I will immediately… Like, oh, boy. Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Usually, I don't know until later. And someone says, boy, what you said just really hurt me. I'm like, oh. Right. You're really weak. No.

I would… I'd be thinking that at times. But You know? That really hurt your feelings? Oh, man. I've done that. I… I've probably done that probably twice a year. I'll stick… I really stick my foot in my mouth with my wife or with my kids. Yeah. And it's something where, like, I'll be kinda still joking around, like, you know, and two or three times quiet. And they're still not joking around. I'm like, oh, man. Yeah. And, like, not only did I do the wrong thing, but I dug a couple feet down, stood in there, and celebrated like I wouldn't stand in a hole. And and I'll admit, like, that is a part of my pride that I'm generally… I'm,

I'm loath to give you rid of because I wanna be like, if I just keep laughing, they will laugh too. Like, oh, man. Crap. So, yeah, I like… And and I… And I've I've learned that, the… Ignore it and act like it'll go… Like, it will go away, but that's not the same thing as saying, hey, man. Whatever I've done, I've just gone over the line,

and, hopefully, I've learned my lesson. I'm really sorry. And, like, boy, that makes life a lot easier. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Alright. Hey. I've got a challenge for everyone tonight. This isn't exactly Pope style, so I'll just call it some kind of a challenge. Okay. This is the Pathway One Coat Challenge. Okay. So go your closet, look through your closet. I mean, a lot of you know that we've had a guy named Bobby Depper on here. He runs this thing called the Thankful Leper where he brings coats and supplies

to the homeless in Downtown Des Moines. And he's meeting every other Sunday and just getting a roundup together of the body of Christ plus all the homeless people and just trying to live out things like what Jesus said in Matthew 25 when he said, you know what? Let's take care of people who need clothes, take care of the sick, take care of the hungry. And so that's what he's trying to do. And he's trying to encourage the body and followers of Jesus and just good people in general, just come out and support

the homeless population and help them out. So here's the challenge, and I want to support Bobby. So go to your closet and look through. And you've got some coats that are sitting there. Some of them you haven't used in since 1987. And that's for the best. It is not coming back. You do not need to hang on to that anymore. Likewise, you've got coats from when you were several sizes smaller or larger, whichever direction

you've gone since then. You don't need that coat, okay? If you ever get back to that weight again, can celebrate by buying a new coat. That's correct. That's okay. Just go ahead and get rid of that. In fact, you've probably got a coat for rainy season. You've got a coat to wear to sporting events that will keep you just moderately warm. You've got medium range coats. You've got those coats full of some kind of duck carcass that is sitting in your closet. It will keep an Eskimo cold warm

in the frigid temperatures because Iowa can get like that. You actually don't need that coat because in the deepest, darkest of winter, you spend only twenty minutes going from warm place to warm car to warm place. Maybe your car is a little cold and it takes a few minutes for it to warm up. But twenty minutes a day compared to people who are out on the street, who are in there twenty fourseven, you don't need that coat. Pick a coat, pick one coat from your closet, keep it, get rid of the others. You don't need the others. You don't need a coat for the rain. You don't need a coat to keep you

moderately warm for light weather. You don't need a coat to keep the wind off. Just pick one medium sized utility coat that will keep you kind of warm in just about any kind of situation. Get rid of the others. You don't need them. Now, let's find a way to get these. Bring them over to Life From The Path studio

and donate them because we're going to give them away to some of those folks downtown. You can meet with either Bobby Depper. You can get connected to his Facebook page. You can look up the thankful leper at Squarespace.

Yeah, the thankful leper. Squarespace.com. Yeah, thank you. Anyways, we can get it connected to people who actually need these coats. If you want, we can even get pictures of happy

faces of people who have found these coats and really appreciate what you've got. Yeah. Nineteen nineteen eighty seven is just as warm today. It's just not as stylish. It has. And so let's ignore the style and give it to the guy that needs to be warm. Yeah. Yeah. So reduce down to just one coat. Get rid of the others. You don't need them. What if you're gonna go shovel the snow, though, Eric? You can't shovel snow for twenty minutes in a medium grade coat. You're gonna get the the tingly fingers. Do you really shovel for twenty minutes? You bet I do. Alright. We'll keep that one on roof. You live in an apartment. That's true. Eric? That's Your cast is a little rough. I I really do. Okay. You can have servants come and do your walks. So so keep your duck carcass coat. Okay. Alright? If that's the one coat you wanna keep, keep it. So it was it was 40 degrees last week. Yeah. You wanna wear that giant down feather coat?

Do you wanna stay warm? I would. Alright. But I don't need to sweat my mom Mahomes off. Uh-huh. Alright. I'm I'm in support of what you're saying. I'm just saying that's a that's a pretty wide net you've cast right there. We do live in despair of weather. Alright. That's true. However, to that point, though, even if I'm shoveling snow, I might be out there for twenty minutes. I do go back inside. Yeah. And then I sit there and I get warm. And maybe I only shovel half the walk because I'm too cold, I go in. I wait. Mhmm. And I get toasty, and I go back out and do it. There are people that do not have that convenience. And so, so the deal relative… Like, you might be able to make the case that you're cold.

Relatively, though, you have a lot more control to do something about that, and you also have a lot more control to help someone who does not have control over that. So, I say… Even though I I like to argue with Herrick, he… He's right about this thing. So pick and choose, get yourself a good coat, and then distribute other good coats to other people who could use them. Thank you. I agree. Alright.

Shoot. There was something else I was thinking about. What was it? It had something to do with the… When we were talking about the shackles. Oh god. Nope. What kind of shackles? You mean metaphorical shackles? Or Yeah. The the guy that was feeling like he wasn't himself.

Oh, stuck in his own skin. Yeah. Yeah. Well, not not feeling like he lose… Living in his own skin. The out of the world thing? Yeah. Yeah. But, it had something to do with… I was I was contemplating this week, and talking and and talking with one of my one of my daughters about, oh, I know what it was. It was lying. It was lying. We were having a lying problem.

Uh-huh. Some dishonesty at my place. And We were or one person was? No. I have a couple of them. Okay. That, they like to do these things in groups. Some in different variations.

Here's the deal is I tell a lot of untruths Mhmm. As jokes. Like, we're driving down the road and say, hey, man. Did you guys see that, cow over there with a duck's tail? He was swimming along on the road. You ever seen a guy swim on the road? It's crazy. And so, like, that kind of stuff. And now see, here's the deal. That's a lie. Mhmm.

And so I've been trying to help, I've been trying to help the kids understand the difference between that, and they're just not Yeah. The younger they are, the harder it is to It's hard them. Right? Because they said that. And so and so, like, I I said I said, look. If this is a barrier for you, like, I know that you find those… Like I said, I I do that stuff all the time. Like, 15 times a day, I'm saying stuff like that. And I said, look. I… I'm I'm gonna have to stop stop telling stories like that just because, like, I don't wanna give a wrong example here. And, like, it's not worth me you not under… For for you not understanding that you can't say things that aren't true. Mhmm. There's a difference. But if we're struggling with that difference, then, as much as I'm… I don't want to, I will give up my lying ways Mhmm. On these on these, duck cows.

But, anyway, we're talking about the concept of, of lying, and I said I said, look. Here's here's what's gonna… Here's what here's what I don't wanna do is is is is I said, I don't wanna come in here and say, you know, god doesn't like it when you lie because he tells you not to lie. Because that's… I mean, I think that's both both what my mom would have told me.

And I thought… I said I said that's that's not really the right way to think about it. I mean, it's not that there's not truth in that. It's just… It's not the whole picture. I said the picture is is that you have a loving god, who wants what's best for you Mhmm. Just as I want what's best for you. And,

because of that, he has communicated to his people and said, here's the things that ultimately help turn out what's best for you. And one of those things is is telling the truth. And I said, you know, it's it's, I mean, I can give you a bunch of examples of, like, well, you know, you're gonna lose trust with your mom or, like, people aren't gonna believe you when you say things. Like, all those things are and I went through a couple examples and said that those aren't true. But, like… But, really, the the the thing to think about is is that, like, the things that God lays down, he's not saying here, I want to I want to bind you with these rules. I want to say, don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this. What he's saying is is I love you, and I want what's best for you. Don't do this because it it takes some of that away. It takes some of the things away that others want want want for you.

And, boy, that took me a lot longer to explain than god says don't do this, and I don't like it. And quit lying to your mom. And, about twenty five minutes in that conversation, I thought maybe I should have just gone with the the hand smacking thing. Like, don't behave this way. I don't like it. However,

I do think I do think it was… It it allows you to have those types of conversations in a much different perspective, than I think handling it, in in another way. Because, like, although there's truth to say, yeah, god says don't do that, there's a lot more… There's a lot a lot of value in understanding why. Like, why God God says not to do those things. Why this makes this makes a difference. It's not just… He's not trying to, he's not trying to shackle your life. He's trying to help you live it. And there are things that help… That keep you from living the life that you want. There's there's a… There's people. I I… There's, like, two or three people in my life that I feel like,

have that completely backwards. They're fighting God tooth and nail on stuff, because they think God is gonna tie them tie them down. And and what I can't seem to to articulate well enough or that their hearts are just simply not willing to listen to is that you're tied down already.

Like, you're… You you shackled. What you what you call freedom is not freedom. And these things that God is is saying, don't do these things. He's saying don't do these things because they result in the shackles that you're currently dealing with. Like, think of all the things God says not to do. Think of how many of those you're doing, high percentages. Mhmm. And then you say… And then look at your life, and now you tell me what produces shackles and what doesn't. Yeah. Where where are your problem areas? Where are your frustrations, your your stress, your everything? Yeah. Yeah. So, anyway, I I I was… When that guy was when that guy was talking about, you know, feeling feeling free or feeling, you know, he's able to explore life more and stuff. Mhmm. I guess, you know, he… He's probably having new experiences. That's true. Mhmm. But the the the simple fact that things are new doesn't mean that they are freeing.

Mhmm. And and that things are different also don't mean that they're freeing. They're just they're just new. And I think, ultimately, what we find is is, there there are some levels of freedom that people don't wanna give up. They're hanging on to semblances of morality, but, ultimately, you're embracing the thought that, like, I don't like god to tell me what to do. But if you if you trust in the broad sense of a creator on his own, anything he's telling you do is ultimately for your joy and his glory. I mean, it's… There's there's a there's a underlying root of a father that doesn't say,

I… Fathers don't like to tend rules that they don't believe in. I have not met a stubborn father that likes to, like, hold on to rules that are like, I just have these rules. They're like, I I I only wanna enforce things that care about. Here's what I care about. Here's what we're gonna do. So, anyway, I I don't know why I was thinking of that. It it… That just popped into my mind when when that guy was talking that I I, I wonder how often people are running into a god where we've given them the wrong impression of god the father. Mhmm. Because that's what we said. We said the Bible says this and this and this. First of all, the Bible doesn't need to be the paddle. It's not God's paddle.

It is a way… His way to communicate, God's love for the world, and and those and those things exist for that for that purpose, not for something else. Anyway, yeah, long run. Just something something I was thinking about. Don't I wanna share. Hey. If you're listening to, on 993,

we've got to let you go. Quick… Real quick big thank you out to our sponsors, Bob Eisenhower with the Eisenhower team. Go to eisenhowerteam.com. And for all your home buying and selling needs, now may or may not be the time. Bob can help you with that. Go to eisenhowerteam.com.

Also, Westfield Veterinary Hospital. That's Westfield Vet Hospital dot com. They're located right here in Johnston, and, they'll do what is best both for your pet and your pocketbook, Westfield Veterinary Hospital. Even if you don't need pet services or you're not looking to buy or sell a house, give them a call, shoot them an email, bother them at home, preferably late so they remember it, and tell them thanks for sponsoring Life in the Path and keeping us on the air. And thank you guys for being part of our conversation. If you're, I said, if you're on Kate Hale, we gotta let you go. If you're on the podcast, we'll be right back with you. Thank you for listening to Life in the Path. I'm not sure I'm not sure that my wife appreciated that long.

Think the kids were kinda sassing her pretty bad, and it had had, said some untrue things that otherwise caused some anguish in her life. And I think there was a little bit of a loss of, sometimes it's good to see the kids get to come up with something they deserve. And sometimes, like,

my my my version of discipline is, like, a long talk with that. We're gonna sit down, and we will be talking for a while. Where the talk itself is the discipline, not so much the point. Yeah. And, like, they they dread it more because, like, there's some level of, like, I don't say, like, I'm really… I don't say things like I'm really disappointed in you, but, like… I mean, the general nature is we wouldn't be talking about this if there wasn't something to talk about. They're trying to figure out how do I how do I look like I'm still listening to him Yep. But I'm really, you know, replaying VeggieTales.

Yep. Yep. And it's… You know, here's the deal. I'm I'm gonna keep with it until it stops working. So far, it seems to be going alright. Actually, the older one will tolerate it. The younger one is have any… She won't tolerate a lick of it. You'll be talking for, I don't know, forty five seconds, and all of sudden, she's stopping to tell you a story. She doesn't recognize when she's in trouble. Like, you can raise your voice. She don't care. Yeah. This kid's ridiculous to discipline. The other one falls apart. You even give her a stiff look. Yeah. I'm gonna trade you in for it. I like that one. I feel I feel like I'm making some progress on that way. Alright. Dear life on the path. I have overheard a person who works as an aide at the local elementary school talking about the students, discussing their special needs, behavioral issues. I think it is appalling that she's relaying confidential information to others in the community. The rule for employers here is what happens in the school stays in the school. I'm not sure what to do. I've heard from her too many times that it was just an oversight on her part. Should I let the parents of these students know or make the school administrators aware of the situation? The people listening are, of course, just as guilty. Perhaps it's not my place to interfere. However, I find her behavior to be unprofessional,

and she should not be working in such a setting. If you publish this, I hope it will be all it takes to open someone's eyes and seal their lips. What do you think? I like that everyone who writes to Dear thinks that everyone reads Dear Abby. Yeah. Especially the person they're they're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. No doubt this person with their malfeasance behavior always reads the advice column to find the best protocol and decorum. Alright. So, anyway Sorry. I shouldn't be talking about this. What does that mean? I I… You know, I don't know. I mean,

I don't This is kinda… Does this does this fall on that? What did we talk about a few weeks ago? Someone was asking about how how the daycare lady treated the kids. Like, is this a similar situation in which, like, you try to address it once and then you go around, or is it, like, not the same and you're like, you know, I don't know. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. It sounds like she did try to address it. I mean, she she talked to the to the… I guess it's a special ed teacher. Yeah. Is that it? Alright. And, yeah, apparently, even the special ed teacher said, yeah, this is inappropriate, But it seems like it's continuing to happen. So now the conversation is something different. It's not, hey, this was a one time thing, was it? It's what's happening in order to correct that behavior. And if the special ed teacher doesn't have an answer to that,

then it probably does need to be stepped up, but not necessarily to a supervisor, though probably I guess that could be warranted. But at the very least, the special ed teacher, if they're recognizing, hey, this is wrong, they should be doing something about it. I mean, they should be meeting with,

I don't know, a supervisor or something and saying, this is something that I want to change about my job performance. This is, know, I don't know. Yeah. It needs to end. I mean, it just… It's it's inappropriate. It it… I I would… Yeah. I I couldn't remember. If she has already talked to her, I'd go back one more time. It'd be very clear if I hear you again. Because she's talking in in the public, if I understood correctly. And I… Right? Not not like just to other teachers.

I mean, there's a circle of teachers. They… People talk. You you know? Yeah. A part of it is con… You know, collaboration. How do we, you know, make View with it, whatever the circumstance is. Exactly. Are you sure it's not just in that circle that it's happening? I thought she said community, didn't she? A person who works as an aide at the local elementary talking about the students. Yeah. She says, I think it's appalling that she's relaying confidential information to others in the community. Oh, okay. Yeah. She's crossing a pretty big line there. I know. When it says what happens in the school stays in the school, like, that leaves plenty of room to say… To talk amongst…

Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. In a professional level, you gotta… Hey. By the way, Johnny's doing this. We gotta… You know, how can we help him Yeah. Overcome that? Right. Yeah. Or… And and sometimes, honestly, it… There's some stress relief of of just saying, oh, can you believe what Johnny did? Yeah. He bit me. I… Me too. Exactly. But it stays there. You you can't take that to the public. You just can't. I mean, if that person needs to be… If if she refuses, she needs to be reported Yeah. To to to the administration, and

I wouldn't stop. You just can't… You can't… You gotta have the trust of of of of the school and the community there. Yeah. And, you know, I think this this maybe goes to a broad principle that that we we seem to not be, all that comfortable with societally, which is, yeah, it's okay to step in to to a situation. Like, it just… It is. Mhmm. It's it's pretty easy. It's it's the reason you can pass a homeless guy. It's the reason that… You know, some stuff can be happening next, like, next door for two years, and, you know, nothing ever comes to it because you're like, oh, you know, maybe I don't wanna overstep my bounds. Oh, you know, maybe, they seem… Maybe they have it under control. It's not all the time. I don't wanna be wrong. Mhmm.

But, yeah, you know, just, if you're there, you're there. Okay. Crap. I hate I hate to coin that if you see something, say something, but, like, you know, if you're if you're… If if you were the closest thing to a situation or even part of a situation, like, happened that we that we feel so detached from being able to say, hey. What's what's going on with that? Like, there there… I envy that in people, to be honest with you. Like, my natural reaction is to stay out of stuff. Mhmm. But, like, people that'll walk by, and they'll and they'll see something going on, and they'll, you know, they'll ask questions. Even it's not a bad thing. Even if it's good things. Hey. What's that? Hey. How are doing? Where'd you come from? Where where were your parents born? You know? Like Mhmm.

We just… But but there's a hesitance, I think, sometimes to just be involved with anything. We don't wanna Yeah. We don't wanna invest the time. Be nosy. You don't wanna be that guy. Yeah. But there's but there's probably an element of that that we lost that, that's why, like, weird things can happen in some guy's house in, Massachusetts for years years over years or… And you're like, oh, I had no idea that the guy next door had a bunch of, you know, carcasses in his house. And you're like, oh, well, Feel like something might have tipped us off over a couple years worth of time. Now now this person probably needs an avenue

to to unwind a little bit. I mean, I can say that my wife works in the very same job. And… But so she'll come and tell me some things. She doesn't tell me everything. Mhmm. But we even have a system where where we don't use names. Yeah. Right. You know? I I mean, I have no clue. We could… I could be walking down the street, I have no idea. One of you two could be one of one of her students, and and and I wouldn't know. I just, you know, we do that to protect that child. Yeah. Right. And I and I and I listen to protect her to to, you know, give her some refreshment. And maybe this this aid needs that, but she needs to do it in a healthy way and in a way that protects There's a right context to do that. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. Alright. Secular says, I'm printing your letter, but I doubt it will silence the wagging tongue of a gossip who uses confidential information to get attention. What you should do is inform the principal of the school and let him or her seal the leak. If that doesn't work, you should inform the parents because they may want to take action. But don't jump the gun. Go through channels first. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I think that seems alright. Yeah. Alright. Here we go. Dear life in the path. I have a friend whose son is in sales, and he asked to give me a presentation. My friend instructed me that I was under no obligation to purchase anything. He just needed to practice it. I complied and didn't buy anything he was pitching. He has now contacted me again to do another presentation because he has changed companies and wants to practice again. I dislike sales pitches, and I'm also very busy. Ordinarily, I would just say no. However, because he's my friend's son, I'm unsure how to respond. Can you give me any suggestions? Say no.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Nope. Sorry. 57. I I did you… I did it once. I'm busy. Yeah. Yeah. That seems pretty freaking easy. In fact, if you just say yes, then he'll keep doing… Keep at it. So at the next job that he has, he'll keep after you. So Or ask for money.

If that door's open, then he'll walk through it. But if close it, he'll find another door. He's a sale… In fact, he's… As a… He wants to practice as a sales guy. He needs to learn to hear a no. There you go. Do that. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, man. I appreciate it. Hey. Thanks for for the offer, but, no. Thanks. I think I'm good here. Alright. Let's see. Sinkler says, because you agreed previously, the young man may not realize that his asking again isn't in position. All you need to do is tell him that you're very busy. Then explain that you agreed the last time as a special favor to his parent that you can't do it, but you wish him luck with the new company.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Okay. Here we go. Last one. Oh, wait. This was a different oh, that… We can't do that one. That was in reference to something that we've talked about before.

Sorry. Hold on a minute. Hold on a minute. I've gotten distracted. That's why I have Mike do this stuff. Okay. My sister, dear life in the past. My sister has a one year old baby boy we all adore.

He's a cute little guy. My sister's understandably proud, but sometimes I feel it goes too far. She sends pictures of him with captions like, cutest baby ever, or he's the best. She dresses him in shirts that say favorite or the greatest. I feel it is rude to other parents and insensitive to other kids because it implies that other people's children don't measure up. Also, there are some adorable little cousins living in the same household as the perfect baby. We all have attractive children, but not all of us feel the need to put others down in order to compliment our offspring. Am I overly sensitive, or is my sister tactless?

You are overly sensitive. You're absolutely overly sensitive. It's okay if teenage girls have multiple best friends. Yeah. Even though… Yes. You're right. EST is a superlative. There should be only one. But you know what? It's okay.

Get over it. Yeah. Boy, like, you're fighting over some grammatical malfeasance. I don't… I mean, unless unless her actions otherwise are betraying that she thinks everyone else stinks and her kid is the greatest, and that her other kids also stink,

I wouldn't get too upset about the captions and the T shirts that the child's wearing. Yeah. No. No. It is simply a proud parent. It's okay to celebrate with them. Oh, man. Alright. Alright. Sekler says, dear life from the… Or, sorry. Sekler says, your sister is over the moon about her baby boy. Shirts like this for toddlers are very common. The children of that household are probably too young to read what's printed on the T shirts and feel slighted, so simmer down and don't take it personally.

Holy cats. Here's the deal. We, I think we agreed with, secular pretty much On every point. So every point. I don't think that's ever happened. The common nominator is a missing mic boost. Uh-huh.

Alright. Hey. You've been listening to live from the Pathway. Thank you so much for hanging out with us tonight. Definitely… Hey. Hey. Hook up on that one coat challenge, guys. Go through, and there's there's some other stuff. I posted something on the Live From The Path Facebook page, about a week ago. If you wanna go check that out, there's other things besides coats that we need that we can use as well. But, yeah, get a coat. It's it's getting… Gonna get cold out there. These guys can really use the help. Ladies' coats too. Don't… Sorry. Don't take that the wrong way. If you if you need a place to take it, you can take it to… Bring it to life at past studios. We're at 6523 Merlehay Road in here in Johnston.

There may or not may be someone here. If you just wanna leave it, we'll we'll go pick it up. Don't worry about it. Bring it down. Sunday is gonna be at the Western, Gateway Park in, in Downtown Des Moines, not this coming Sunday, the twenty first, but the twenty eighth. Starts at 02:00. If you wanna bring it down personally, give it to somebody, see that they're enjoying your stuff, and get to meet some good folks, please come and do that. Otherwise, give us a call. Shoot us an email, and, we'd love to be able to answer any questions about the thankful leper. Like I said… Like Dave said, you can hook up with them at the thankfulleper.squarespace.com.

And thanks for listening to Live From The Path. We'll see you next week.