Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live from the path.

It's good to have you hanging out with us this this very you don't even know what date is. You have no idea. Here's the tricky deal when we podcast stuff. It's like you you literally have no idea what's going on at any given time. It could be like a it could be like a Thursday. Yeah. Okay. But it's Sunday. Does it matter? It doesn't matter. Not to anybody. Here's what's going on the show tonight. So I I'm not actually sure what's going on the show tonight. So here's here's the things that I know for certain. One, people need advice. And so there are people lighted up with the dear life in the past and they say, life

in the past, I got troubles and woes in life and I need your assistance. Yeah. And so we're here to do that. Second of all, as a healing salve to that existence, Ted Yoder is joining us in the studio. That's that's pretty much I think that's his handle. They call

it the salve. Yeah. Is it is it is that is your full name like, Tedithy? Or is it What? Is there a long form of Ted? Theodore. I think you're thinking Theodore. Yeah. Yeah. Listen. It's my job to be the buffoon around here, I guess. I'm just asking the questions people wanna know and people are too afraid to ask. Tedithy was a decent option.

So so actually, let's let's before we ruin the show, let's let's jump right in and talk to Ted. So this is Ted the owner. We first ran into Ted at the Spirit Midwest Music Festival. It had to have been Three, four years ago? Five years ago. I yeah. It's years. Yes. It's been years. So anyway, as far as I'm concerned, Ted was the coolest guy there. Yeah. Because there was there was a lot of lot of really good musical acts and stuff.

But but Ted brings the hammer dulcimer in and it's if I remember, he played Eleanor Rig May. Yeah. I I wasn't prepared for it is the deal. It's like I'm not prepared to engage in instrumentation like that in the way that Ted brings it. So and we actually talked to him. I I meant to go back and and watch the interview to see what we talked about and I just neglected to it. But it's it's hanging on the website somewhere. So this is where people get hung up. Right? Because like when someone plays the hammer dulcimer,

all you could think of is, so the dulcimer, And that's your best interview tact. You know what I'm saying? Like for some reason, every other aspect of a of a traveling musician goes right out the window and you're like, you went with the Duxmer. Tell me more about this. No, right. It speaks to a life choice. Exactly. You have people other other musicians like, tell me about your process, how do you write tunes, this kind of thing and and write it's just it's oh, shoot. This gonna seem inappropriate, but it's a bit of a cleavage. Yeah. It's the thing that people stare at.

And they and they can't seem to talk to you about other things. So what do you do with that? Yeah. It's a bit of a cleavage. I'm sorry. This is the kingdom of mine. Anyway, you're listening live from the past. So we're getting to know Ted a little bit. So I I tell you what, let's do this. Let's start with the tune and then and then we'll follow-up with some non

focused dossier questions about Ted and his existence. So Ted, tell me tell me a little bit about the first tune you're gonna play, You Gotta Get Up. Like, what made you what drew you to this song? Well, it's a Rich Mullins song for one. He didn't play it on the hammered dulcimer, but he used piano.

But I love Rich Mullen's, huge fan. And being December Christmas time, you know, once we get our Christmas tree really close to after Thanksgiving,

All seven of my kids and I sleep on the living room floor all December long by the Christmas tree. Really? Yeah. Well, that sounds So the excitement of the holidays, I think this song wraps it up really nicely. Awesome. Well, you're listening to Live From The Path. This is Ted Yoder with You Gotta Get Up.

I thought Christmas day would never come, but it's here at last. So mom and dad, the waiting's finally done, and you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up. It's Christmas morning. Last night I heard reindeer on my roof.

Well, you may think I'm exaggerating, but I swear I'm telling you the truth. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up. It's Christmas morning. Did my sister get her baby dodge? Did my brother get his bike? Did I get that red wagon, the kind that makes you fly?

Oh, I hope there'll be peace on earth and I know there's goodwill toward men on account of the baby born in Bethlehem. Did my sister get her baby jog? Did my brother get his bike? Did I get that red wagon, the kind that makes you fly? Oh, I hope there'll be peace on earth and I know there's goodwill toward men on account of that baby born in Bethlehem.

Mom and dad stayed up too late last night. Well, I guess I got carried away in the Christmas candlelight. And you gotta get up, you gotta get up, you gotta get up. It's Christmas morning. And you gotta get up. You gotta get up. You gotta get up. It's Christmas morning.

And you gotta get up. You gotta get up. You gotta get up. It's Christmas morning. Hey, man. That was sweet. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a so so what do you play do you play with the kids? Like, you play the the dolphin out there with them while you're sleeping Sleeping around the Christmas tree? I just like, it's a very it's a very picturesque thing It is. Talking about. As a matter fact, my kids were asking about that just the other day. They're like, hey, can we sleep out here? And I I did the non cool Yoder thing, which is I said, I mean, yeah, you can. I'm gonna sleep in my bed. And

then and then, of course, it would come up a few days later that Yoder does it with all these kids. Yeah. You suck. I do suck. You do suck. So, like, I love that tradition, though. Like, when did you start doing that?

Oh, I can't I wouldn't know how to put a date on it. You know, it it was definitely I would probably say once we had three kids, probably after the third kid. So the first two didn't get the No. Didn't get the sweet action. So three, though, you gotta make a change. Yeah. I love that. That's pretty like, all like a whole the whole month? Yeah. Pretty much. Man, that's cool. It's like a big party around the Christmas tree. You have a big is it a big room? Yeah. I like it's like you got legs on top of legs.

Mean, dude, dude just lined up, you know, everybody's just Do you do the real Christmas tree? Mhmm. Oh, yeah. None of the kids are afraid of being caught on fire by the lights being on overnight or something? Because that's the first thing my kids said. Is this place gonna burn down? Dude, what of TV you've watching? Why do say that? You're not that old. I mean, Christmas trees haven't caught on fire for years. Well, that's not what they sell me on the news. That old man at 10:00, he's like, no. You gotta water it, give it extra stuff, or it's gonna I'm like, they're LED lights, man. They're cool to the touch. I don't think they're gonna combust. LED technology still produces too much heat, smoking the bear's ass. Like, you're ruining Christmas for me, dude. I'll leave these lights on all night. Alright. So, hey, if you're if you're interested in hearing more from Ted, you can go to tedyoder.com.

And here's the deal. There's all kinds of cool stuff out there. He's got he's got interviews you can watch. There's music you can listen to. The the tour schedule is out there, and we were real lucky that he was he was coming back through the area so that we could pick him up on this on the special broadcast. He's also got a new album out. So, Ted, tell me a little bit about your new new album. Now when did it come out? It came out, like, two days ago. We got one box right before I left for this little tour here. They overnighted it to us so I could bring it with me. Sweet. And it's you know, I'm I'm not sure how to describe it because I I I try not to belittle my other albums. It's my fifth album. Right. But

it's by far well, it was it was a group of other musicians that came in, you know to the studio. The producer hired the musicians and brought them in. So there's world class musicians on this album. Yeah. And this is what they do for a living. And so and I I and I gave the the producer free reign, free creative reign. I said just let the music

go where it does. Yeah. I'm not gonna I I'm gonna I sent him my tracks, know, and I just said go for it. Just do what you do. Wait. So you didn't record in the same in the same place? No. You did your stuff and then handed it off to him? Yeah. Oh, That sounds exciting. It was more cost effective that way. Well, Sure. You know. Took it from 40 down to 20 or whatever, you know? Right. But so yeah. They and so they brought in, you know, guitar players, cello players,

fiddle players, mandolin, all kinds of stuff. And I they even do you know what a Mellotron is? Of course, I do. Wait. Is that that's not the thing that that's not the thing that turns with the crank, is it?

No. I'm not you're thinking of the monkey thing? Yeah. I looked like an idiot just now. Relax. Yeah. Shoot. The thing that turns with the crank No. But you're close. You're close. It it's it's this really bizarre. Mean, Beatles used it a lot. And so so it's an old old type thing. It's What? The Beatles? Did you say drugs? Does it? They use drugs? No. I've lost what happened here. Pillow grinder. Okay. Sorry. Explain that. Anyway, so it's it's a keyboard that has recorded sounds on tape.

Okay. And so literally when you press down on the keys, it releases a tape, a recorded sound on a tape on each key. Following me so far? Like an early sample type of thing. Yes. Okay. And then once you let it off, the key it rewinds and then it come know, so it's totally bizarre. Now does it do it like in the pitch of what you've pushed down or not necessarily? Yeah. Because it's on each individual key. It has 88 keys. Okay. So So there are 88 sounds and 88 different pitches or is it one sound at 88 different pitches? One sound at 88 different pitches. Okay. And then you can pull different levers and things. I've never messed around within myself. I had to look it up on Wiki when I heard the producer was putting it on there. Anyway, that's I'm getting going totally nerd on people. It seems something like you would find some crazy man on YouTube doing, you know, eating the Clark bar and moving a bunch of levers around, playing samples and be like, we found Earl doing this in his place. Pay no attention to the man behind it. So like what Beatles songs have this instrument in it? Norwegian Wood and Here Comes the Sun. Okay. And I think he put it on Hotel California and a couple other songs. So this this album,

it's it's a total mishmash of pop songs that I just love playing just like you said Eleanor Rigby. And it has one one original song that hopefully by the time this airs or something, I actually sent it out to a competition. It might get an award of some sort. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. So

let's see. What what style of competition? Well, it's it's a songwriting competition, but they have a category of instrumental. Uh-huh. And and this particular song is called Whispers in the Trees. It's an original of mine, so I sent it in under the category of instrumental, and I'll know in January. Well, that's cool. That would be awesome. Yeah. You're gonna have to give us a heads up on whether that happened or not. Yeah. Because I'd like to call Kenny G and say in your face. You think he also submitted one? I've met him one time and we didn't get along. That's all I'm saying. I wanted a cab and he took it. I I really like the I'm still hung up on the fact that like you you recorded the stuff and then you gave it to the guy. Mhmm. And then like he filled everything in. Like that had been a really cool moment like when you got it back and he felt like he had it kind of filled in and said, alright, now check this out. I Like don't know, that just seems like a really cool time. Well, was because you know, most of the time you go into the studio and and you're you're like

creating this baby and then you bring it home and you but by the time you get it, you've had all the ultrasounds and everything. You know what he she is gonna look like or that, you know, that type of thing. So this one, yeah, was like a surprise. I mean, I knew what my track and and the arrangement of the song as far as verse, chorus, bridge, that kind of thing was. But the other instrumentation was just whatever. Well, that's crazy. So I got it back. Yeah. And and we were listening to it and it was just it was you know, it was like eating a beautiful wonderful Swiss dark chocolate with a nice glass of wine. Yeah. It was fantastic. Oh, yeah. And I'm not saying that just because it's my album. Right. It's really good music. And that's even cool to think about like you got to be part of something I mean, we don't think about produced music this way. Right? But like just the way that you're telling it, it reminds you that you're part of something even bigger. Right? Like you came to it with with with the song and your part and then to see to watch what other people have done with where you started and have it come back and it's yours, but it's also kind of a bunch of other people's. Right. Yeah. That's that's a really cool thing. It's it's a like a better picture.

Anyway, I I don't know. I I just I I really like the the thought of that. Even even from a I'm gonna get to overly it's not nostalgic is the word I'm looking for. Right? But like maybe that is the right word. But like, I don't know. Just just the way just the way you live and interact with people is like you bring something to the table and then like other people are able to contribute to that thing and and parts of it are theirs and parts of it are yours and otherwise produces something that's otherwise very cool that you get to interact with and be be part of of of event that that other people were also participating in. I don't know. Just seems really neat. It it wasn't and and even the producer was saying the guys are just having a blast with this because nine out of 10 times studio musicians are doing music the way other people want them to do it. Yep. We want fiddle but we want you to play this and it's got a sound like this where they they just had free reign to be their creative self. And like you like you said, it was almost like we're a band but I I never met them. So Hey, man. Far less bands break up that way. Exactly. These guys are totally easy get along with. Now, do do you have being playing a unique or a more unique instrument like has that ever happened to you where people like drag you in the studio for something and say, look, we need Dulcimer action. Call Ted in. Not as often. I mean, that this will be a door that opens up and I don't know if we'll end up moving Nashville, but you know, being able to

hear the dulcimer with a different style of music. One, it's not solo hammer dulcimer. Right. It doesn't have streams flowing in the background and rain Right. Whatnot. Yeah. The loons. It's always the loons. It's always the loons. Somewhere there's a loon weeping. They're like, oh, no. No. No. No. If if Ted moves to Nashville, gonna lose our opportunity. We've been paired for life.

There's a song there somewhere. The weeping loon. With Sorry. Never mind. Yeah. I gotta let it go. Yeah. Just give it. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. So so so let's see. It came out a couple days ago. You can go to tedyoder.com. It's where you can pick up the It's also available. We're all fine albums and sometimes not fine albums are sold. But like you can go on iTunes and We've released a couple of them. That's

the thing. I don't wanna oversell what goes on on the Spotify. Oh, wait. Spotify too? Yes. Alright. Yeah. It's everywhere. You can go check it out or go to teddyota.com or you can pick it up at shows. And here's the deal, make sure you check back at teddyota.com

all the time. You can see where he's gonna be. You can catch the live show. You can also pick up stuff directly from him there. Wait. Do you do shirts? You cut your face on a shirt? I I do. It's hilarious. Yes. Now, you know, it's probably totally hubris but it was funny to me. So as a Christmas gift one time, we have we we had a friend make a caricature of our family. Yeah. And so we I took the face of that caricature

and put it on a shirt and I call it Ted Head. Brilliant. So the shirts are coming out in December as well. Oh, man. Later this month. This is awesome. Yeah. Will I be able to buy this propaganda through the website? Is that what I want? Yes. You may. Okay. Excellent. Yeah.

Kids your your gift count is going down to two. Dad's picking up a Ted head Yeah. For Christmas time. She's right on the back and say, if you don't listen Ted, you're a loon. It marks the earlier breakup of Ted and the loons. Alright. I'll pay double for that, Ted. Yeah. Yeah. It it has to be done. It'd be a limited run. You might have to copyright that. I may come back to that one.

I tell you what, let's let's keep rocking with with some music from Ted. So tell me little about Calling Out Your Name. Well, is another Rich Mullins song. Yep. Probably one of his most famous and well, they requested it. So that's true. It's got a deep backstory. It's a good tune that we'd like to hear. Alright. Well, you're listening to Live From The Path. This is Ted Yoder with Calling Out Your Name.

Well, the moon moved past Nebraska and spilled laughter on them cold Dakota hills. Angels danced on Jacob's stairs.

Yeah. They danced on Jacob's stairs. There is a silence in the badlands and over Kansas, the whole universe is still.

But the whisper of a prayer, the whisper of a prayer. This song puts in the flight and in the East, so the I can feel the earth tremble beneath the rumbling of the buffalo hooves.

The fury in a pheasant's wings. Yes, there's fury in a pheasant's wings. And it tells me the Lord is in his temple, and there's still a faith that can make the mountains

move, and a love that can make the heavens ring. I've seen love make heaven ring. Where the sacred river meets beneath the shadow of the keeper of the plain.

I hear the thunder in the sky, see the sky about to rain with the prairies I am calling out your name. In the place where morning gathers, you can look sometimes forever till you see.

What time you never know. What time you never know. How the Lord takes by its corners this whole world and shakes us forward and shakes us free. To run wild with the hope,

to run wild with the hope. To hope that this fury will not last long but it will soon drown in a song not sung in vain. I hear the thunder in the sky, see the sky about to rain

with with prairies calling out your name. Now I know this glory will not last long, but it will soon drown in a song not sung in vain. I hear the thunder in the sky, see the sky about to rain.

With the prairie's eye, I'm calling out your name. Haven't played that one for a while. That was awesome. Got a couple of the chords. Yeah. I didn't.

I didn't do anything. That was Ted Yoder. You can go to tedyoder.com and you can pick up his new new album. What's the album called? It's just titled Ted Yoder. What are the wait. You didn't wanna put your namesake on the first four yet? You were just waiting for the right one? Yeah. Do do some people make that mistake where they self title their, like, first or second album? They're like, dang. That was my best work.

You know, that that that's the way it was. It was like we got it back and and the the we had the idea of what the album cover was gonna look like and everything and and didn't know what the name was. But by the time we got the graphics back and everything, he gave me like six different options and and we fell in love with a totally different one. By the time the music was there, the the graphic arts came in and and then it it just didn't have a name. And it was like, you know what? This is kind of a reinvention. Yeah. And so, yeah, we want this self tie is that hubris to self title an album? Well, look, Deodor, I don't I I didn't wanna say anything. Basically, what you're saying is Well, I didn't wanna do the Adele thing and call it 43. By the time I got it back, I realized, you know what, Ted Deodor.

I sat down on the toilet and I thought, who's the star of this thing? Am I pulling this later right now? Yeah. You I don't know, Joder. You might have made a mistake there, but I'm excited for the album. I did do most of the heavy lifting. You know? Well, here's the truth. I mean, I am the star of the show. I mean, sure, everything's a symphony, but someone has to play the violin. That's

that's this guy. You're listening to Life From The Path. That was Ted Yoder, and make sure you check out that website. Are you much of a social media guy, Ted? Yes. You're right. I mean, I I don't know. I'm not I'm not I don't live on Instagram and stuff. But, yes, I'm on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. Do Snapchat? I don't do Snapchat. Not either. No. I thought about it. And there, you know, there's all these gurus out there that always say, oh, there's a new thing out here. You gotta try this. And if you're a musician, you gotta do this. Yeah. And Snapchat was one of them and I looked at it and I was like, really? I'm 43.

Yeah. Yeah. Don't Here's the thing. If I think you're gonna I think the truth is that this stuff like that comes out and you'll be chasing that all your life. Yeah. And so the thing is that people people that really wanna hear from you will find you wherever you're at. So if I say, hey, Ted's on Twitter and I wanna know where Ted's at, I go to Twitter and I find out information about Ted. Yes. And I mean, there's a certain blindness, right? Like if you if you say, I refuse to be on on the web at all, I mean, you can't be surprised if you're you never leave in Oskaloosa, Iowa. Right? Right. But like, to the extent that there's 50 options out there, if you play in in five and people wanna know about you and they know you're on the five, they'll go find you on the five. I I think I think there's truth to that. Yeah. I agree. Alright. I don't Snapchat myself.

Like, wait. You don't take pictures of yourself or you don't or you're not on Snapchat? Yeah. All of the above. Yeah. Sometimes people will post their Snapchats to Facebook or Twitter and then I'll catch it. But just on its own, like, just don't I don't get the point of it. Right? Here's the thing. It's like the stuff that I see is unique to my life and it's none of your business. You know, like, if I wanted to be eating a bowl of soup with you, I'd invited you over. There's no reason you need to see a picture of me eating the soup. You're not here. So I I don't know. I just can't I can't seem to pull it off. I don't I don't I wanna share that much that much part of my life with people. I think you're just missing the whole point of what social media is. What do mean? Are you saying I'm antisocial? Well, I didn't get it. Here's the deal. Don't be naming an album Mike. I'll tell you that. Okay. Mike, what do you got some dear life from the past? I do. I do. I have a couple things that here's the deal. People have been living life, and they're having a hard time picking between choice a and choice b. And hopefully, we're gonna help bring the the the more Jesus centered

advice to the situation. So it says, dear life from the path, every year my husband and I throw a formal holiday party. We invite a small group of our closest friends, and every everyone always has a wonderful time. Over the years, we have grown apart from some of these couples. This year, we are starting to plan. My husband asked if we could trim the guest list. There's one couple in particular we rarely see. They have fallen out of favor with some of the other guests too. Oh, no. We've done this party for many years with the same group. When we see this couple, they talk excitedly about it with anticipation. I feel uneasy about how to politely exclude them. The event is mentioned on social media, and I know they'll find out if we uninvite them. Oh my. I am a peacekeeper. I don't like hurting others, especially this couple, who have a tendency to spout off when they feel someone has offended them. Any suggestions? Hey, man. This seems kinda difficult to deal with. Right? I'd Snapchat it. Put it on Snapchat directly. I mean, if you have to tiptoe through the tulips because they're gonna get fired up, maybe it's maybe that's why everyone's falling out of favor. Yeah.

Is it is it inevitable is it inevitable that you're gonna run into this problem and someone just has to deal with it now? Yeah. Here's it's only out of pure uncomfortableness that you're trying to avoid the situation. You already know your answer. The answer is, yeah, they're not gonna come anymore. Like, it's just it's it's not gonna work out. And so it's not like you're gonna violence them or hurt them or say that, you know, you're cut off from ever knowing you anymore. It's just, look, for this particular situation, we're not inviting you anymore. Or or does it mean, is this a group of people that just need to need to buck it up and and take them in? What do you mean? Like, you invite them anyway? Yeah. I don't I don't think so. No. What? No. Okay.

It's it's just a bad mix for them. They they obviously can't handle themselves in this type of social setting. Okay. So, Dave, I want you give me say it, like like Mike's Mike's them. Okay. And you have to explain it to him. Go ahead. Well, part of the problem is the the person who's saying this is also very much a peacekeeper, so they shouldn't be the one delivering the message. Are you a peacekeeper? Me? Yeah. Not so much. No. Okay. Alright. So tell Mike. Tell Mike as if you you're handling the situation, Mike is the irritating couple. Go. Alright. Listen, Mike. The problem is every I love your parties. Every time that you you show up at my party, you just you know, you you can't handle yourself. You're you're out there spouting off. You're you're bickering back and forth. No. And then next thing we know, you're up there dancing on the table. No. I'm overwhelmed by love. You guys make me feel loved and I do crazy things. I just can't tell you how much that party means to me every year. I sometimes I go through this life, feel like I don't have any friends, but this party really gives me a foundation of of that I'm loved. Really? This party means that much to you? It really does. Alright. Well, then is there a way that you can work on your behavior during this time? I mean I mean, if it means that much to you, I I I wanna see that, you know, you respect it. I like people that love me for me. Okay.

Well Yeah. We very much do. Well, apparently not. You're trying to disinvite me to your party. Well, we just need you to show the respect that that you seem to have for this That you're you're telling me this but your actions are saying otherwise. Well, listen. I know you kinda grew up prudish and I'm not sure why you're bringing this to my doorstep. But if you need me to change my ways, then I will definitely attend the party early and try to meet as many people as possible. Alright. I would appreciate that. Fixed. Hey, man. Eric didn't throw you out. No. I don't need to. We we So your advice address the behavior. So your advice is changing from throw the guy out to look, just have a frank conversation with them about their actions. Yeah. The just the issue needs to be addressed one way or another. I thought I thought we were gonna get some fireworks, Dave, and you know, if you let him into the party. He said he'd handle himself.

Mike. What? Dave was the Dave was the couple. I was lying. I wasn't gonna handle myself. I was gonna get there and turn the place up Van Halen style. Alright. Yeah. Okay. So we'll have frank conversation except there okay, now, how many years does this go up? Let's say they say that they're gonna do that, then they don't really do it well. They don't handle themselves. Now what?

Then so then you have another frank conversation the following year? Here's here's the problem. We get we get the two principles messed up. Loving somebody does not equal accepting their bad behavior. You can still love a guy and not accept their bad behavior. And like, they will try to make it the same thing. You know that it's not. And so if you're gonna if if they're gonna continue to show up at a party and and act in an unacceptable way, you can still love them, but they're not coming to the party. And if they wanna make that one thing, that's their choice. But the truth of the matter is, you cannot continue to come to this party and act this way. That's it's it's just the truth of the matter. No. Actually, I now that you say that, I mean, it's a it's a relationship principle, but, I mean, even from a kid's perspective. Right? I love you. You can't continue to do that. Yes. Exactly right. Does that mean I don't love you? It just means you can't continue to do that. Yeah. And and and they'll say, but, like, look. It's just me. You know, they're they're they're your friends. It's one time a year. It's only a couple hours. Well, listen. Just like what you were talking earlier, there's moments are unique for a reason. You have x number of people in the x number of time, and it's all those combinations that make for you unique moments. And when that playing field gets leveled because one couple seems to take over the stage, your opportunity for having unique moments with people is is severely trashed. And so, like, that's an unfair that's an unfair relationship to put everyone else in as well. Would you go to a party if the if the dominating couple hosted it?

I don't know. I don't know them. I'm kind of third party to this thing. I mean, probably. Alright. Ted, if we have resolved is this the right way to resolve this this problem? Was this more of a this couple getting offended or they get wild?

I didn't catch that part. Yeah. What did they say? They have fallen out of favor. That's it. They'd like to trim the guest list and and

almost everyone else that attends the party, this couple has fallen out of favor. But they seem very excited to attend the party. Tough times. Do you just have them? Do you just let them come, Ted? I think you just let them come. I think everybody just understands that well, you know, because there's

I I I can't give names or anything, You're a couple. Yeah. We have a similar situation even in my family. Yeah. Mhmm. And there's a certain

couple that just gets offended easily. Sure. And it has torn apart holiday gatherings just because a week later you find out someone got offended over something just silly. Right.

Eventually well, that first of all had has to be talked about. It it just has to come up kinda naturally. When something when the offending party gets offended,

you just say, you know, nine out of 10 people would not be offended by that. Why does that bug you? You know, it has to be addressed right then. So but it has and it so for me, I would rather do it in a circumstantial way. So I would rather have them come to the party,

and then if something happens, you actually address it right there. Pull them aside. Is there a time when when you invest and invest and invest and then the investment continue to returns void? Like, you you've had that conversation multiple times. The consequential thing has gone down. We tried to do this privately, and it's you you they they just refuse to change anything about the way that they operate. Is there a time where you go, look. I I cannot keep doing this. Sure. At some point, I mean, they they'll say yeah. And they'll agree to and and make promises about what the behavior is going to be, and it it's just not doing it. And you'd you know, in the next conversation, you simply say, look. You've said this before, and I just haven't seen any results of that. And so until I see some results of that,

this is the new reality. This is this is what's happening going forward. When I see some results of in terms of what you're saying and what you're doing actually match up, then we'll be able to go forward with it, bring you back in. But until then, this is just the consequences of your actions. So So so so generally speaking, Ted says, first of all, you can't do this on the sly. Like like, if people are acting in a way, you should be reacting to the circumstances as opposed to, like,

making the onus on the party to otherwise be the arbiter of of right and wrong. If there's behaviors if people are not acting right, like, should just be talking to them about it to start off with. Right? Like, the the the party is not the bat. No. No. The party is not the you shouldn't be using the party as the bat. To the extent that that that it continues and then otherwise affects the party, I mean, I suppose it's on the table that says, look, if you continue to act this way and you refuse to stop,

that's just the just just what happens. People don't really want you here. But but, you know, that that makes that makes sense. Right? Like, you want to have dealt as opposed to, hey, you've fallen out of favor. Like, I mean, people I mean, I suppose that happens, but, like, generally, it's because there's reasons.

Yeah. And and if short of a history of you've attempted to try to bring that relationship into rights What? You seem to be overreacting and relying on the party to do the the hard work, which is you're just actually, you know, living life with someone and then having a conversation. I mean, that that actually does kinda matter if what you're saying by falling out of favor. You know, like,

know, are are they are they people that you used to be and your life changed and you went a different direction and they're still those people? Like, there there's still that situation that this is just not you anymore. Is that falling out Like of like like, let's say, like like, had a you had a tendency to love the whiskey back in the day. Uh-huh. And you left that and and changed and and now you do something else, and they still bring that lifestyle there. That doesn't mean that you don't like them, you don't love them, but that's just not you anymore. Like that and everything that comes with it is not you anymore. So,

like like, I mean, can they can they fall can people fall out of favor like that? Sure. Yes. That's that's reasonable. That's completely reasonable. Right? So why would it be unreasonable not to invite them to your holiday party? That's just not they're not they're not you anymore. I I I suppose in in that circumstance. Although I mean, that's not rude. I don't like you. I don't like who you are. It's just that's just not me anymore. I don't do that stuff. I don't I don't live that way. We don't have near as much in common as we used to. It's not anything against you. We just we're not the same folks. How is I mean, that's there's there's no crime in that and there's no there's no sinful behavior there. It's just like I mean, God gave you the perfect ability to pick your friends and choose your friends. Like, didn't give you the ability to decide who you love and who you don't love, but he does give you the ability to choose who you who you spend your your intimate moments with. And like, I don't know that you have to be so worried about offending people that that, you know, that's an option that you were given. Don't talk it about like the intimate moments. I should have said intimate moments. I put I

put a flavor on it that I think was unintentional. Okay. Agreed. You're so you're in your life for a time with with people, and then for a time, you you go off and and do other things. And so your pot your paths have split. So Yeah. Know, it's okay. I think anything short of having that direct conversation is cowardly, and you're not showing them the ounce of respect that you owe them. Andrew Carson, I feel like our paths grew apart. Okay.

What? Hey. That went way better than me. See you later. Yeah. See you. No more intimate moments for me. Alright. What's the secular Secular says, the next time this couple or any other couple you no longer want to invite raises subject of your party, tell them that you and your husband need to trim the guest list and they should make other plans for the holidays. Do not apologize for it, don't make excuses. If any of the invited guests ask you why the others weren't included, explain that you need to limit the invites to those friends you see on a regular basis. I don't know. I mean, you can handle it in a tactful way. You're gonna be like, no excuses. Don't don't owe you nothing.

You know, you're not coming. That's jerky. At least be honest about what's happening. Yeah. That's not There's no need no need to treat them subhuman or like they don't matter to you. It's just my holiday party and these are the people I wanna invite. That's it. And here's the thing. It's like you can't disassociate yourself from, yeah, you know, we really gotta trim the guest list. Like the command came down from Central Yeah. That says, hey, trim that guest list. From king of the guest list. You decide how many people are on the guest list. Yeah. So you're still responsible. At least take some responsibility for your stuff. Don't blame it on sort of, like, arbitrary count. Yeah. You said 30, not 32. Yeah. You're a grown man. Act like a grown man. Yeah. Okay. Or a lady. Alright. Okay. You want another one here? Yes. Do another one. No. I don't like that one. No. I don't like it. No. Hanukkah. No. Here's the deal. I had one prepared, then I read it. Like, yeah, I don't really like it. Give me just a second. Wait. Oh oh, here we go. Okay. Dear life from the path, I am 16, and my friend from grammar school is getting married next month. Oh. I just received was grammar school is that in place of a high school, or is it college college level action? So you're 16. It's gotta be high school.

I I think so. Yeah. But no grammar school is like elementary. Yeah. Oh oh, so what she's saying, she's not saying they're going to school currently. They just yeah. Okay. I'm 16 and I'm still in grammar school. A rough time. Okay. So that's why I was confused. Okay. I'm a long time friend. Okay. Moving on. Here we go. I'm 16 year old, and my old my my old friend from grammar school is getting married next month. I just received a wedding invitation in the mail. However, my mother does not approve of her getting married at such a young age. She's 18. And has forbidden me to go or even talk to her. Oh. I haven't seen this friend in more than two years because she moved away and has only recently returned. I want to attend her wedding. How can I go about convincing my mom to let me go? Oh. Invited in Las Vegas. Well, that's tough. I mean, I don't really have an issue with her going. No. I don't know how you could convince your mom, though. What do you say to mom?

She was I mean, she's slightly overreacting. It's never a business, frankly. Just ask nicely when I want something from my mother. Does that work? Well, sometimes, yes. Oh, your wisdom is beyond your years, Andrew Carson. Okay. We got asked nicely is on the table. I mean, she's gonna say no though. Know I'm Like, she's already said no. You're not going. Why would any mom say, look, you can't go to a wedding. It's it's obviously a principle based thing.

I don't think they should Although, I don't once again, like, we talk about this a lot. Like, when you don't agree with somebody, that does not give you the the right to withhold your love from that person. Right? You're gonna disagree with a lot of things that a lot of people do, and your love does not get to be a bargaining chip. And so while I see that the mom doesn't really see that, she's actually also causing the daughter to do the same thing. It's like, don't approve with what you're doing.

There is a difference between being a party to it, like helping something that they're doing that they shouldn't be doing or is harmful to them. That's different. Right. Like, don't approve of you taking nuclear arms across the border. Right. But I will assist you to show you how much I love you. Yeah. No. That's off the table. That's not what we're saying. That's not right. But but, I mean, they get arrested Chip and the nuclear arms and they're going to jail. Yeah. You're upset at their life choices. You don't get to use your love as a bargaining chip to show them how much how bad stuff they're doing. You go, and you love them, and that's the deal. And so what what the mom's doing here is taking a a classic, you know, lazy response to something that someone hasn't done, which means I'm gonna withhold my love from you because I disapprove of what you're doing. And it's just a foul way to live. It's there's no joy in it for you. There's no joy in it for them. Like, there's there's no heart of God in any of that. It's just an out and out mistake and a punitive reaction to a poor decision. So you're recommending to this 16 year old that she should tell her mom where she's wrong? Yes. And I would move out directly. Can I speak into this? Yeah. Go ahead. Yes. Go ahead. Since I have many Yeah. Daughters

Yeah. Around that age. Yeah. I would agree to you and with you, Mike, in some aspects. Wait for it, Yoder. Not not the moving out part. I'm girding my loins. No. I think I think that's it. You hit it on the head where

as as a parent, I would want to be confronted by my kids, not

not in the not in a nasty disrespectful way. Right. Yeah. But if I was not if I was segregating the love of God and just showing poor judgment or whatever, I would want my kids to be able to question that and say, dad, it seems like you're being awfully closed minded on this,

you know, I'm not the one getting married at a young age. Right. You didn't raise me to do that or whatever, you know, but why can't I go and see be with my friend at this important junction of her life? Yeah. You know, that would be a very approachable way and and a non condemning way to address your parent. Yeah. And then if it doesn't go well, you can always move out. That's I'm just kidding. That wasn't really viable option. Was just saying, like and and here's the deal, A good parent will accept that. Like, will say, look. Here's the way I'm looking at it. Here's what I feel like you've done. Where am I missing it? And maybe the mom has other stuff, you know, that that that didn't get included in the story. It's possible. Yeah. You know? But, I mean, this girl's 16 years old.

You know, there's she's heading towards freedom anyway. You're gonna have to I don't know. I feel like as a dad, the closer they get to you, you know, to them to them trying to run their own show and and have the freedoms to make the choices that you have to allow them to make, you've got at least be open to that conversation. Mhmm. You've got at least let them have that conversation with you. And if it's to their peril or, you know, it's it's a life life ruining situation, you may have to put your parent foot down. But I mean, otherwise, I don't know. You're gonna at least have that conversation with her. I think that's fair. Hypothetically, what would happen if the mom still says no? What would you

Yeah. I How how would you encourage the the girl to react? Yeah. You have to you have to respect that. You still live there, and she is your mom, and she hasn't, you know, she hasn't steer put you in such a terrible direction that you're you're still living there. Right? You're still under your mom and dad's roof. She hasn't been such a terrible parent that that you've moved out already. And And so I feel like you're gonna stay and you're gonna respect what she says.

I think that would just be too bad if that was the case. But you are still gonna you're gonna you're gonna listen to what she says. Yeah. I mean, if if your arbitration of of how you interact with things is whether you agree with your parent or not, like, that's gonna amp up any number of situations. Right? Like, there has to be a point where you're trusting your parents' judgment. Even to the extent that the parent can be wrong, I mean, they're they're they're still it may be wrong things, right reasons. Right? Even if she she's she the the parent thinks they're doing the right thing here.

It's it's just for, like, the wrong wrong reasons. Attempt to protect daughter is just protecting in a way that otherwise isn't isn't helpful, doesn't further a conversation, doesn't demonstrate love to people. And so I I think you the even even at that age, you're gonna have to have some grace for that. Like, either you're wrong, your parent might be flat out wrong, but let's say they are, like, you need to have some grace for someone who's who's still a human being, who's attempting to do the right thing, maybe for the wrong reasons, maybe doesn't have a full understanding of the situation. In either case, you're still gonna have to respect that. Yeah. There's a big opportunity for it, especially in the teenage years, to to learn to go along with a decision that's made that you disagree with. And that's a life skill that there's a lot of adults that are still just have not figured that one out Right. Of just

growing up doesn't mean that all of a sudden, now you get to make all your decisions. I mean, you're gonna be in places, either employment or or just situations where there are people who are making decisions, and you're just gonna have to go along with that even though you disagree with them. And it's a a life skill of handling that gracefully. And so, you know, if you're not able to convince your mom on it, then this might just be an opportunity for you to figure out how to go along with, hey. Someone else has made a decision that affects my life, and I'm gonna have to go along with it. I tell my kids that all the time. I I do I do make bad decisions just to teach you how to deal with them. Now continue on with your life. Secular says, at 18, the bride to be is an adult. And while marriage at such a young age isn't advisable for many reasons, there's nothing immoral about it.

I'd like to see her standing for moral. I am sorry you didn't mention that you might have happened in what might have happened in your friends' life. Hold on a minute. Are you implying that getting married at a young age is immoral? No. I'm implying that so I don't see her aversion to getting married at 18 with no no fact basis. I I feel like that the age is an arbitrary number and has nothing to do with the conversation. Okay. And so she threw that in there to for some reason. I don't know why. Okay. It says, I'm sorry you didn't mention what hap what might have happened in your friend's life in the last two years because it may be the reason your mother's worried about your association with her. Your mom may want to protect you, but she's going about it in the wrong way. You could learn a lot about life by simply observing what happens to your friend after she has reached the altar. That's odd. Yeah. Is she trying to imply that this marriage is about to fail? That's what it sounds like. And you can do it from the what the the back seat of your house, and then Yeah. You don't laugh from afar? That seems unnecessarily cruel. I don't understand. I don't agree with this advice. That's my questions from the cheap seats. Yeah. I think we got we got one more. Yeah. Yeah. Do one more. Okay. Dear live from the path, my brother, my only sibling, hasn't contacted me in fourteen years. I've tried to figure out why. I wasn't mean to him, and we didn't fight. My cousin told me it's because I called him incessantly years ago. I don't recall having done such a thing. I really miss and care about him. I live in a group home and wonder if he's ashamed of me. He has accomplished more job wise than I have. I want to move on with my life, but I continue to fixate on why he seems to hate me. I could use your opinion. What advice do you have for me?

Oh, man. There's weird stuff going on here. I wonder how old they it didn't say how old they are. I live in a group home. Can I assume that's older? An older folks group home or just like a group home? No. Yeah. Or he needs assistance. Assistance. Group home. Okay. Boy, that sounds like a bummer. I mean,

can you can you call the brother? I mean, here's the deal. Like, didn't call you for that long. And if it's because you called him incessantly, the the right way to straighten that out is just trying to get buzzed. I feel like that'll validate that. Why he seems to hate me. Here's the deal. You you you've grown a little bit of this stuff in there. You know what saying? Like, due to the lack of communication,

you've grown some things in there that probably are maybe not as true as you think that they are. The truth of matter is he probably should call you. Maybe he doesn't know what to do. Maybe you're in a certain situation where, like, he doesn't know how he could help or not help or he thinks he's busy or I don't know. I mean, obviously, there he's in some error here, but I feel like some of this homegrown hate, you might have grown in there on your own just by lacking of talking to him. I don't know if that's a 100% true. Is there is there a communication channel through your cousin? I mean, can you perhaps find out a little bit more through the cousin? Yeah. I I I think there's just there's not enough information here. Yeah. I agree. Like, there seems like there's just not enough to be able to actually give any advice that is not

that has any substance to it. It's like we just don't know enough about about that circumstance. I mean, you could say the brother's blamed, but what's that gonna do? I mean, that doesn't really change anything for you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe I mean, he could be doing a world of good in his own world, and God's got him doing this and whatever. I don't know if that gives him a pass to not talk to you ever. Well, write how how about how about write your brother a letter? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Seem alright? Pen to paper. Yeah. People love that. Just I I assuming you can't or dictate it to somebody, like, whatever your circumstance is. But, like, maybe that's the right answer is you if you have something you wanna communicate, don't first of all, don't assume don't assume you know what your brother is thinking. Just say whatever you wanna say to him, and then just see if he responds back. That way you have a chance to be able to communicate how you want to. Yeah. I think that's alright. I like that. That's solid. Okay. Anybody wanna disagree? Yoder.

Yoder? Nothing from the cheap seats. He loves it. Yoder loves it. I like it. Carson. Sounds good. Carson, I don't we don't pay you enough. That's what I'm saying. Wait. They pay you? I wish.

Secular says, what a sad situation. Not knowing your brother, I can't guess his reason for distancing himself. That's why I'm advising you to write him a letter. Look at this. Alright. Tell him how you feel that you miss and care about him and would like to know why he hasn't contacted you during all this time. He may or may not respond. But if he doesn't, please understand that his silence has less to do with you or your living situation than it does about him and his inability to empathize. You have every right to live your life as fully and enjoyable as possible. And whatever happens, I hope you will do that. I don't know that I'd bring it up that I wonder why he's not contacting me. I think I just say, hey, if it's you, and I'd to talk to you. Yeah. That's the truth. Yeah. Like any element about of of shaming or guilting, like, these are cheap tactics, man. You don't want you don't want a cheap tactic your way in. Just say, look, I miss you. I haven't talked to you in a while. What's going on with you? You know? That's all. I think that's fair and honest. And if you're not coming at it from that place, maybe you better wait to write them until you are. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Alright. Hey, if you need some advice from Life From The Past, shoot us an email at [email protected],

and we'd be we'd be glad to provide some pseudo level advice, understanding. Now listen here. Listen to the program first. Know what you're getting yourself into. Yeah. It is a I mean, a couple weeks. Don't just pick one week and be like, yeah. They're solid and serious and they love Jesus. That ain't the deal. No. Yeah. The love Jesus part sticks. Everything else seems to go Yeah. Here and there. It's up for debate. It is a room full of dudes. So, I mean, it's a sensitive situation and and most certainly, if it's a question of etiquette, this is not a good place for this. Nope. We are gonna give you poor, brutish advice on how to handle people. And so anyway, just know just know what you're walking into. Shoot us an email info at lifefromthepath dot org. And that goes now that we're

if you have any complaints about the show, guess you can use that same Yeah. Same email address. Maybe you love the show, tell a friend, and then also shoot me an email so that I I don't weep in the corner at night. And these are all good ideas. And check out the website. Go to lifefromthepath.org during the week. You can find out past interviews, performances on the program. Sign up for the podcast. And and as always, go visit our good friend, Bob Eisenhower with the Eisenhower team. Go to eisenhowerteam.com if you're in the I don't know, in the market for buying or selling a home. Bob Bob and his team are just the folks. He's still the guy. Yeah. He's still the guy. Alright. Let's tell you what. Let's let's tuck this thing up right. We'll

have Yoder sail it out so we can we can salvage the the drippy metal. Saint Saint Saint Basil's. I'm not supposed to say Basil. It's Saint Basil's. That's that's the tune. Alright. Tell me a little bit about this one. Alright. Well, this is a track from my new album and you I don't Yeah. Once you get it, you'll hear a cello choir on it. It is just absolutely beautiful.

And yeah, the the short story behind it is that there was a village that was being pillaged by this neighboring warlord and there was a monk there who decided to take matters into his own hands and took up a tribute

ahead of time and took it to the warlord. And he was either embarrassed or humbled but he sent it back and he never bothered him again. So they this is over in Hungary and so they

threw a party. They had all these jewels and coins that they didn't know how to get back to the people. So they threw a party and they baked the coins and the jewels inside the pastries and that's how they redistributed the the

tribute to the the town. And so this is actually the Hungarian New Year's song and it's highly yoderized so the the form of the song is yourself

as a verb? Yeah. That that may come off wrong. He's implying that it sleeps by the fire with a shield. I love the song already. So,

yeah. So they made the the monk a saint, and they they named the name the song after him, and this is the Saint Basil's Hymn. Very cool. Very cool. You're listening to Ted Yoder with Saint Basil's Hymn on Live From The Path. Hey, man. That's a really nice song. Now I'm really excited to hear it with the with the cello chorus. Yeah. I'm changing that to my alarm clock, like, when I wake up. Like, I'm taking stuff over today. Hey. But wouldn't you be surprised, though, if you went to have a pastry that morning and there was money in The Lord would freak me out that day. I'd say, I understand your hand in all things. He sent Yoder to freak you out. I love that. Hey, big thanks to Ted Yoder for coming by and hanging out with us in line for that. Thanks, Ted. Very much appreciate it. Thank you, guys. Go to tedyoder.com.

You can pick up the album and see see where he's gonna be at. Follow him on social media and except for the Snapchat. Ted, don't Snapchat. Nope. And if you run into an angry loon, Ted is probably responsible. Thanks for hanging on the show. Make sure you go to lifeonthepath.org. We'll get you clips from the show and you can sign up for the podcast. And thanks for hanging out with us. Please be faithful to the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to life in the past.