Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live from the Pathway Studios.

And you're listening to Live From The Path. We're coming from the Pathway Studios in Johnston, Crawford. It's gonna be with you on this on this morning Hey. I lined up, like, three or four articles for the show, and then I've lost them.

That's not good. I know. Right? Like, I like, I actually sat at home. I spent a good twenty minutes or so. Wait. You did show prep? I did. I I was ready to rock. And now, I don't remember what the articles were. Holy cats. I feel like I'm under prepared. That's why I don't do show prep. I'll just lose it. Right. Normally, we just don't prepare for the show, and then we're all in the same boat. And we're never disappointed. No. Fair enough. That's true. When you don't have a lot of people listen to the program, there's it's not likely to disappoint you. Okay. Well, hold on. Hold on. I know where I got them from. So I got a couple of them. So one of them was well, we'll we'll do some advice on Dear Life From The Path. Booby, you got that? I got that. Alright. Thanks, buddy. There was there was one from Relevant Magazine on the most ignored commandment. It's one of the Bible's most well known commandments. So why aren't we following it? Any guesses? Let's see.

Don't murder. Honor your mother and father. I was gonna say mother and father. Yeah. It's it's on it's the Sabbath. Sabbath. Yeah. Yeah. It's the Sabbath word, which is interesting because it's it's something that I there's been a part of a group of pastors that was talking about the same thing. And and frankly, it didn't look like anybody had any answer to this. We actually were not doing it and no one had any good feedback on, like, the right reaction to it. So I'm kind of interested and we'll talk a little bit about that. We have a lot of people who don't follow it. Yeah. That's true. Like, we we raised that up. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. So we'll go through that one. There was another article about eight health eight things healthy couples don't do. It was stupid

because they're, like hold on. I'll read it. Right. Well, I'm glad you came to that conclusion for us so we don't have to read it. It's the cover story on the magazine. Like, they're dumb. Don't post negatively about each other on social media. Is this Yeah. Is this a deal? Where, like, people are, maybe this is okay? I see it all the time. It drives me bunkers. Really? Well, it's I'm not so here's the thing. It's, like, I get that people are are are acting this way. Mhmm. Okay? And that you shouldn't do that. But, like, I can't imagine if if people if couples were given a I don't know, a quiz. Let's say it's a quiz, a relationship quiz. Great. We say, hey. Those. Hey, is it okay to post negative things about your significant other on the Facebook? Is that just a thing where people are like, sure. This doesn't seem like a problem. I would say most people wouldn't necessarily just jump to a yes, but I'm sure there are many people who would try and justify it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Except for this. Except for my spouse when they do that. They no one would outright just go, yes. It's perfectly fine to throw your dirty laundry out in in the middle of the road. Okay. Hold on. Let's keep on this track then. Would someone

Buva, is it your understanding that people would say it's okay to make your career a priority over your relationship? I think there's plenty of people who would agree with that. Yes. They would say, as long as I'm taking care of my my family or my husband or wife, I me spending eighty hours a week at work is perfectly fine. They have food on the table. They have a roof over their head, they have clothes in their body. Alright. So what's what's the mistake there? What makes them not right about that? You providing for your family is much more than just monetary. There's a there are so many more facets to what you have to offer to a relationship and to a family other than just money. If you can get by on forty hours of work, a week and a $12 an hour job, and your parent and your family still has clothes and stuff like that, but you get to spend time with them, and can actually help to,

to have a relationship with your wife or husband, and then to actually be able there to father or mother your children, I guarantee that is better for the family than it would be if you guys had $300,000 a year. You know, my my children are both in the adult range now. One's 19 and the other's 26. Never have I heard one of them say, man, you remember that shirt you bought me in third grade? I just want to thank you for that. Hey, that pencil was sweet, dad. That that that name brand pair of pants I really wanted, that made my life. No. Yeah. I agree with that, but like, I I guess I'm maybe maybe I'm wrong about this thing. I looked at it and thought and I said, this is stupid, because I thought, like, why would someone believe this? This is stupid as someone who has a good relationship and someone or at least someone who understands what a good relationship like. Well, would so but but to your point, if if I'm the guy with the bad relationship, would read number two and be like, yeah. No. This seems fine. I love my fans. People would definitely

I think more people would just blatantly say yes to two than one, but I'm certain there would be quite a bit of justifying Yeah. When it comes to number two and number one. It's shocking how many, guys I know firmly believe they are loving their family by not being there, but but but by providing a nice car and a nice home Right. And the cool clothes and a good good comfortable Yeah. My family wants for nothing except for my attention Yeah. For me and They don't know me. Yeah. And when I'm around, I'm I'm really angry because I'm stressed out from work, so they don't like me. Right. But I haven't seen my kids in three weeks, but we don't need a budget because I make plenty of money. Yeah. Yeah. I suppose, in comparison, really, what you're saying is is as dad of the year, I want my kids to be raised by this pair of pants Right. And the sweet ride that I bought.

Number three was what things that sorry. Eight things healthy couples don't do have all their together time with technology. Pokemon GO? Hold on. Here. Hey. You know what? I was I went on a walk today over lunchtime,

and I I go by that sculpture park. Uh-huh. Yeah. And that place was rolling with Pokemon GO folks. And you know what I saw? I saw a bunch of people out and about. Yeah. I saw multi generational groups Yep. Going around looking for stuff. I saw dads and kids, moms and kids, and I thought, heck, yeah. Yeah. Don't know. This this is awesome. I actually did that with my daughter tonight. Alright. We were sitting there watching TV and said, hey, let's just go out for a walk and see if there's any Pokemon out there. This is they're not called Pokemon. Oh. Multigenerational. Those Pokey things. What? Did did you catch any, Dan? Yes. Yes. Actually, they both did. Dan, next time call them pocket monsters. Pocket monsters? Pocket monsters. Yes. Yeah. I booba's setting you up somehow. You're gonna end up having It's originally what they were called.

Yeah. But I feel like it's something Pokemon is pocket monsters. It's code word day and you're gonna get jumped by a bunch of Italians. Oh, no. You will get jumped by a bunch of Italians. However, back to the article, I do believe this kind of maybe is is the exception to the rule. Otherwise, you're usually all sitting there looking at your own technology and not interacting. That, you kind of interact together. Yeah, that's true. That's why it's so successful right now. Healthy couples don't check Twitter on dinner dates. Ah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I agree with that. Yeah. I do it, but I agree with it. Yeah. Put your phone in your pocket and pay attention to that person. Yeah. Yeah. Because if you're text messaging that person,

I'd say that was half acceptable, but it would be much better to just have a human conversation with them. Hey, babe. Meeting with someone right now. Pretty lame. Can you write out your spouse while I'm with them? I'll just Snapchat them to them. That's breaking two rules. Number four was avoid hard subjects. Relationships are about intimacy. If you can't talk about the hard subjects, then your intimacy factor is off. For a second, thought they were saying pro avoid hard subjects. No. No. Couples don't avoid hard subjects. They were talking about anything besides dinner and what movie you want to see next. Cotton candy flavors. That's true. That's not healthy. I would say that as a society, we are very bad about this. I think that unless we're on social media and we could talk to 50,000 people at a time and make a really snarky post, like if we're face to face, people are very difficult with having hard conversations that have a lot of depth to them and things like that,

on a majority. I'm certain there's there's plenty of people that are finding it, but, I would say that this definitely would leak into, modern relationships, depending on on the people. So I'm certain it's it's probably a bigger issue than we see. It is easier to avoid. Yeah. Definitely.

And you have to intentionally engage in a hard conversation. I know people that are two years into their relationships that are on their way to marriage within the next couple of months and are having serious difficulties because they had to set a budget. Alright. They had to set a budget for their relationship, because they're saving for their wedding. Mhmm. And it it has come to scream fights. Uh-huh. Because one person says, hey, we set this budget, we agreed on it, everything like that, and now you wanna go out to dinner again. We went out to dinner last night. We cannot afford it. And then that person went out to dinner anyway. And it's just it's it's ridiculous. That's like, you're you're close to marriage. You've been engaged and are close to marriage, and you're fighting about whether or not you can go out to dinner. Hey. That's people who've been married twenty five years. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a pretty standard fight. Yeah. Yeah. And that's and that's fair, but, like, when it's a chronic thing that's happened consistently because they've never had that conversation. If you're twenty five years into a marriage and have never had a budget conversation, I have absolutely no idea how you've done this unless you're making millions of dollars and have an accountant. No. Yeah. The healthy way to handle that is to know who's the who's the loosey goosey and who's the hardliner. And you have to be honest with yourself about that. If you're the one who's gonna go spend a bunch of money, keep your money with the person who's not going to. Yeah. Here's here's what's funny about that. Okay. I'm the Lucy Goosey in our family. Uh-huh.

However, a few years ago, we went through the Dave Ramsey, like, first time and did the classes. And I'm like, yeah. Okay. We need a budget and we're going to get all serious. My wife was the one saying, I don't wanna be constrained by some stupid budget. Nice. And she's she's not like the heavy That's right. That's because the construct appealed to you because you'd never had that. She just lives that way. Yeah. Yeah. And so she's just like, I I don't need that deal. She has personal boundaries. I don't. Hey, that's shiny. Yeah. It's called self control, Dan. That's all you need. No. Yeah. When my wife knows that we shouldn't go out to eat or something, you should ask me because I'm mostly likely the guy to say yes. And I know when I wanna go and we really shouldn't, I say, hey,

Amanda, should we go up to eat? And then she'll say, no, we really shouldn't. I'm like, oh, yeah. You're right. Yeah. But like whoever's the first agent really really runs the table. So let's see. Eight things that healthy couples don't do, punish one another. Punishing one another often comes out in the silent treatment or withholding sex or affection. Healthy couples know when it's good to take a break from a disagreement, but also know how to come back together and find a resolution. Alright. So here's the deal. I actually really struggle with this, not intentionally though, is I I I like sometimes when when my wife and I've had had some sort of argument, like, I I really just don't feel like talking. Right. And I'm not I'm generally not upset, I'm generally not angry

but, like, I just I have to process stuff. Generally, I'm wrong and so, like, it takes me a bit of time. I'm so proud of you. And I even know this, right? So I'm like, I know that I'm incorrect here but I don't feel, I don't like, my mind is resolved to it, but the rest of myself is not resolved to the fact that I'm in error. And so I I just I just need a little bit of hours, where there's just no one asking me questions and I can kinda usually, if I go to sleep, that's good, but like, it's very difficult because my wife wants a resolution. My wife wants to be able to talk something out and be able to affirm something and, like, even if I can agree to something, it feels like I'm just giving up which isn't fair to her but, like, I'm not I'm conceding and I agree to it. I just don't feel that way and so I it takes time and it ends up being silence and it's I'm working on that because, like, that that's on me. That's not her fault

but it also isn't a, hey, I'm trying to punish you by not talking to you. It's just that, like, I just I really don't wanna talk about it. I'm still working on things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I tried to hold sex away and and she didn't care. So that'll work a bit. I'll show you. It's okay. You can find a new Alright. Keep that going, buddy. Reverse punishment. It's terrible.

You know, it's awkward is when you have to finally concede. Okay. Okay. You really want it. But it's under protest. That's right. Oh, jeez. I wore this shirt to kinda get out of this funk here and I'm glad to straighten it out. I'm glad no one really listens to this show. Six, here we go. Withholding forgiveness. Relationship runs on forgiveness. That's big. Pretty sure relationship runs on Dunkin' Donuts.

You can't have It's America, isn't it? Well, that would include relationships in America, doesn't it? So America and asterisk American relationships run on Dunkin'. America's everything. Macro. Cool. You can't have a healthy relationship without abundant forgiveness. The best relationships forgive quickly and frequently. Living with another person will always bring conflict and hurt feelings unnecessary, semicolon. The trick is knowing how to handle it. Forgive and ask for forgiveness.

Yeah. I mean, you can't overstate that. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Would agree with that entirely. Any any relationship that doesn't understand that is bound to fail. Yeah. I I I gotta be a pretty hard guy to live with. Yeah. I don't know I don't know who would want to be with me and I like, forgiveness has gotta be there quite a bit. Blindness. Some levels of ignorance. I mean Saw that. I would say it's a it's a brew of the three. Like, it's a good it's a good mix or a soup of the three. Look. It's a jambalaya because the forgiveness is the Andouille. Actually, that's exactly what I've been praying for. Lord, send Buva a blind woman

who was unaware of his That's complete. Buva a gal who cannot have who does not have to look at him. Yeah. Hide hide his well, no, not physically. It was hide your frailties. Oh, I meant physically, hand off. Oh. Well, I mean, I yeah. Like, she can just be, like, ignorant to everything and physically blind. So when you say yes to everything, healthy couples do not say yes to everything. They have good boundaries with family, friends and each other. If we've had a long week at work and my husband asked me to rally and go out with friends on Friday, whose fault is it if I get mad at him on the way home because I didn't want to go in the first place? Mine.

Healthy couples know their limits, know how to ask for help and understand that no is a complete sentence. I would say that's fair to say. Yeah. If I get mad at him on the way home because I didn't want to go oh, okay. So she's saying that I didn't want to go there anyway. Why'd we even go there, Steven? Oh, yeah. Right. Rally?

I've never had that conversation. You know I don't like your biker friends? It's time to rally, babe. We're going out. To friends. I don't have any friends. We're storming the castle. Let's do this. I know you've had a rough week, but ran no, I just can't say it. Hey, I went to this I went to this baseball game, like a little league. Sounds like a terrible decision. No. No. No. So so we're there to support we were there to support a friend, you heartless boob.

Terrible decision. So we go to this Your relationships are fake. And this TS team is getting, I mean, beat up. It's like 15 to one or something. And these poor optimistic kids, I mean, like, every inning, they were going down pretty quickly, these guys that were had the one. And, like, if there was one out, they were cheering like, one out rally. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. I mean, over and over again. And then not not forty seconds later, someone gets out, and then it's two out rally. And it just sounded more and more pathetic every time that show up. Right? Because, like, the evidence of them not actually having a rally continued to show itself, and their optimism was certainly not well placed. They were just getting stamped upon. They eventually called the game because they were getting whooped on so poorly. Oh. But I I just like I thought maybe the coach should say, hey, fellas. I mean, you're you're really exposing yourself as being

pretty ignorant of the situation around you. You're not at a two hour rally and haven't been for the last three innings. I don't know. It's kind of The battlefield. In athletics, you just kinda you you just always have to believe you can win. Every once in a while, the impossible not rare. No. Not very often, but, I mean, I play, you know, I play football in in high school and, like, never I went to Hoover High School. Never in the history of our school had we ever beat Dowling ever. And every year, I thought, this is it. Was this gonna happen? This is the year. You know, they're they're ranked number one in the state. We're, know, o seven, we're like, this is it. This is the one. You know, we're going to do this. Wait. Did it ever happen? It never happened. No. I think it still hasn't, to be honest. I mean, honestly, is what it is. I was in high school a few years ago. I'm pretty certain it still is. Still not happening. Yeah. Don't remember. Okay. So we were actually better back then than we are now, but I say we, but, well, I guess it was we then. That's been a few years. Very dedicated alumni. They know their limits, know how to ask for help, and understand that no is a complete sentence.

Nope. That seems a little uncold. I Yeah. That was just like a quippy way to end that, that's what We it don't have anything to tweet in this article. You go at least say, no, I don't think so. Yeah. You can quote no as a complete sentence, people will dig on that. Yeah. If you're a jerk, like No. No. We're in a rally. No. That's right. Thinking about rallying tonight? No. Do out rally. No. Number eight, throw in the towel.

Healthy couples don't throw in the towel. They don't give up when things are hard, even when things are really hard. If your spouse is important to you hey, what's the what's the reference to that phrase? What? Throwing towel? Yeah. The box office. Thing? That that means you're done for? Like, if you're in your corner and you chuck your towel in? Ring made a real throw in the towel. I thought it might be a lifeguard thing. What No. That's like when they died. Yeah. That wouldn't Not really. I just threw in the towel. It's pretty Like, that was when they gave up on being able to save somebody. Let them go. I don't have don't don't wanna get wet. I don't have the life saving ring anymore. I already used that on somebody else. I don't like the sand in my toes. Go ahead. Just throw in the towel. Hey, will this help you at all? That's boxing. I certainly hope so. It's extremely morbid, boo. You can you can take one of two answers. You can take the boxing one, obvious answer, or the awesome one, which is a lifeguard throwing in the towel. No. I hadn't considered that. Says quitting is never an option for healthy couples. Hey. If you're not married, maybe it is an option.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. This I think it's perfectly understandable. If you're not married, quitting may be Yeah. Those times have been we've had Because yeah. My my boyfriend of four years that we've been living together since, like, year one, he's now cheating on me with 15 other people, and he also calls me stupid. That may be the time to walk away On Facebook. And throw in the the proverbial lifeguard towel towel. Yes. Do it. Yeah. No. Yeah. I would agree with that. Alright. Cool beans. Okay. Alright. Well, that's it. Those are the eight eight things healthy couples don't do. I don't think we disagree with any of you. That wasn't that stupid. No. But I I guess maybe my reaction was,

it's more of like a duh. Yeah. I suppose that's fair. Hey. Hey. Wait. Hold on. Hey. Yeah. I'm I'm married, married. By the way, I post negatively about my wife on social media. I value my career over her. I look at my phone all the time while we're together. I refuse to talk about anything difficult because we're that close. I punish her often. I refuse to forgive.

I'm a people pleaser, but not really, because I say no all the time and that's a complete sentence. No is a complete sentence. And I'm prone to giving up. Like just didn't seem like reasonable for These are the people that keep counselors in business though. Right. If this is one dude that's doing all eight of these, like, I hate to give the generic answer, but dude, you need Jesus. Here's the deal, that problem What? I would do these come in spades though? Like, is it is it most likely that if you're running into a unhealthy relationship, you got like five of eight, whereas a healthy relationship probably struggles at some point with like a couple? I think it's fair to say they struggle with one or two, but like five out of eight is is bad if that's a normal bad relation. No. I know, but I'm just saying like, to Dan's point, if it's keeping people in business, I mean, some of these are like, hey, you're really you're really fighting the good fight here. Just a couple of things to work on and some are, hey, man, it's gonna take you, like, a year and $60,000 and we might be able to straighten this out. Right. You guys need to live in different countries for a couple of years and then come back. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. But some of those are different levels, like like, the forgiveness thing is way bigger than, hey, I over scheduled and and I forgot to say no. Yeah. I know. Yeah. That's true. That's But no is a complete sentence. Did you guys It's complete. Did you guys hear like, there's a talk show on called The Preacher?

Are you familiar with this? I think I saw a preview or something. I I There's a talk show called the preachers? Yeah. It's like the view for dudes, the the preachers. You seen this one, Nick? Is that us? No, sir. No. Okay. That's not happening. Oh, man. Well, okay. Alright. So here's so it's a bunch of dudes on there. Sounds like a bad idea. And someone who check your other things out. Pastor whenever I say, the subject of open marriage comes up with one of the guests that's on the show. Essentially, they allow each other to sleep with other people. Right? That's an old phrase. Right. In response, there's a guy named I don't know, one of one of the pastors, who was divorced, said, I think that's amazing, adding, a lot of people think that is novel and y'all church people are going to have a heart attack. I believed in open marriage. I just forgot to tell my ex wife about it.

Yikes. Hey. Yikes. Really awful quippies when calling yourself a preacher. He followed it with a question No to the sentence. Right? Yeah. Right. He followed it up with a question to the person that was talking about it and says, how do they find that balance biblically? I'm sure. I feel like this is one of the situations where no is a complete sentence, because you can just walk up to that guy right up to saying that and just go, no. No. No, No. It says the clip and the conversation end up drawing criticism online. You know what I'm Woah. How crazy is that?

Who saw Bryant's response to sending an unclear message about open marriage? Yeah. In response, he addressed it to all of his haters saying that he made a jest, a joke about open marriages, addressing his own mother who he said also questioned his statement, said, please know that I still believe that marriage is between two people. While I believe in that, I'm grateful to have the opportunity to have conversation with people who don't share my beliefs, don't share my faith, don't share my theology. Do you think he chose his words there? He says two people. Right. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I was thinking too. I'm like, oh, that was a that was a good way to say that, because you don't wanna get yourself in more trouble. Yeah. Hey, man. Like, I get making jokes and stuff like that, but, like, when you've got that title, especially on that big of a platform,

like, you've gotta realize you are being held to a certainly high standard. Yeah. Yeah. Like Biblically, teachers are held to higher standards. Pastors, higher standards.

This guy is a pastor or a preacher on national television or whatever it's on with thousands of possibly millions of people that have access to his information and his statements Yeah. That can be tweeted. As in like, you can take two things from what he says, and that's it. That guy was just being irresponsible. Yeah. Yeah. That's yeah. I mean, You gotta be careful with that kind of Right? Like, mean, like, I've said things here that I've that, like, at the time, as soon as it came out of my mouth, like, nope. Nope, shouldn't have said that. That's awful. And, like, well, and we'll generally say that. Right? Right. It doesn't require Or we'll all say it for you and go someone will correct that and say, no, that's the a, that's not funny, and b, that's not correct. And, like, I don't know how you can sit in a group full of dudes, pastor and stuff, and no one, like, off the bat says, hey, I know this is kinda awkward now that we have someone who's in an open marriage and kinda you said what you said, but no. No. Sorry. That's it's not working out. What you just said was inappropriate and should never be said again. No.

Alright. Alright. Anyway, I I I didn't even realize there was a group of group of dudes. It sounds like we don't need to watch that show. No. No. I would say not. I I don't even know what what it's on. Is it like a radio podcast or is it like a TV show? No. Yeah. What is it? It's a TV show. I don't yeah. I don't I don't know what's on there. Channel, I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. I love how that that nice balance. The male view is the preachers. Yeah. It it's kinda weird looking. Okay. Fair enough. Yeah. Okay. Okay. There was something else. What is it with that? Oh, we're talking about Perry Noble a few weeks ago. We checked in the treatment for alcohol addiction. He finally got himself into something. That's good news. Alright. Good for him. Hey, man. Are you scrolling through articles right now? Yeah. Because I Like, is that what's happening? I picked a couple out, and now I can't remember which ones that that I thought were interesting. Has anybody has anybody listened

to anything from Mark Driscoll since he's been back? Not anything new. No. No? Damn. No. There's there's a big marriage one going around that I haven't Yeah. Listened to though. I haven't either. And like, I was I was I was kind of interested A new marriage one? But I didn't yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. I I it probably won't be the same same as the mid marriage thing. And that one was fiery. He's taking more of a grandfatherly role in posturing his new church. I don't know. I I don't know. You guys ever watched that original Men in Marriage one? Uh-huh. Yeah.

That stuff, like, destroyed me. Here here's the thing. I I was thinking, like, he gets a he takes a lot of heat from that, especially after he kinda blew up his own church. Oh, man. But oh, and there was a running joke on him because he yeah. Having, you know, allowed his his church to implode largely by his own action, he was leading, like, a leadership con it was, like, within the last few weeks. It's the worst. Like, I don't I don't know. The optics on that are just bad. Like, I feel like he should know better. But

it it's weird because that Midnight Marriage thing, as I as I listened to it a few years out, it like, I needed that at that time in that way. Yeah. I needed someone who cared about biblical marriage, who held guys to task

for for what their actual response like, I need to hear it as responsibilities. Yep. That's that's how I needed to hear it. Would I say that same thing or would I echo some of those similar sentiments to where I'm at in my marriage today? No. It probably isn't as helpful, I don't think. Right. But but but I I would just it was it was I was thinking back through it, like, some people have had some criticism for him and I thought, you know, it it just it just really depends who you're talking to and where they're at. And I and I like, that was that was a powerful thing. In fact, there's a lot of his teaching that was very that was very powerful to me at the time and it was really because he he always had like a good

what what there was a sense of oh, this is gonna sound wrong because it's gonna have a false comparison to Jesus, but like there was a sense of authority to it. Right? Like, it held some weight. You trusted it. Yeah. He he was preaching straight through books of the Bible. Right? So I was digging into scripture. He also but he also would use it for whatever tangent he wanted to go on that week because the man had to talk for, like, forty five minutes to an hour. But but, like, it also talked about relevant thing. Matt Chandler's a lot like that too. Like it like, we're not gonna shy away from, hey, there's something significant going on in, hey. Is it alright to to do assisted suicide? And, like, it shows up, and you're talking about it as part of kind of your study of the bible. So those things were powerful for me at the time. Listened back to some of that stuff. It it doesn't have the same impact on me that it that it did then. I don't know necessarily what's changed, but it's just interesting how,

maybe there's seasons for that. Right? Like, there's Right. A season where you need to hear something in a certain way, and then things change. Did things just go different? Season? I did. I did. Anyway, I I just I said that it was interesting about him, and now, like, I saw that, like, there's a clip going around about marriage from him and leadership stuff, and I thought, you know, maybe if I get around to it. Yeah. I was gonna say same same thing. I used to I used to eat I used to eat that stuff up too. It's like, I just love this because it's different. It's a different flavor. You're not used to that, and it's like, oh, yeah. Yeah. It's all great for wheat. Then it's like, okay. Yeah. No matter who it is, you get used to them. Yeah. And and and and, like, I think where where that stuff fails is if you try to convert what someone else is doing is if God has tasked you to clone a dude somewhere Right. And do the same. Right. Like, he's he's there's a reason. There's just different guys that do things different ways and it's interesting to listen to some of those guys and be able to take something,

and that that what it ends up in kind of enhancing, either from a pastoral perspective or even just from a guy following Jesus perspective. Right? Like, you get to it enhances what you do, but not by becoming what they do. Right? It's just Yeah. Like, it it kind of feeds in and and creates nuance and some depth into the stuff that you're doing. So, like, even a lot of the guys where they're like, like, I'm not I'm not beyond that guy. That guy's still a, he's still a a very good bible teacher. Like, yeah, Right. You can disagree with some of the things that he's done and I do. I think a lot of I think he handled his situation poorly, but what the heck do I know? I'm states away. I don't know.

Mhmm. But but generally speaking, I grew more in love with with God's word listening to that man teach. And there's there just isn't any reason to denigrate that. That that is what happened Right. From from having listened to some of that stuff. And that's been true for a lot of guys. So anyway, it's just interesting. I didn't know if anybody had checked anything out since he'd launched the church in Arizona or not. I may have to look that up. That's one of the reasons I like to have multiple speakers

where I preach with multiple personalities and multiple styles is because I don't care who you are, you're going to get bored, boring. If people hear you all the time, it's like, okay, at some point, they're like, yes, okay, got it. Yes, okay, yes, yes, no, heard it. Second verse same as the first, right, I got it. So it's just good to have a mixture

like that. Yeah. So I read something today, which was interesting, just a little quote, just a quote. Yeah. But stuck with me, I'm actually studying this week looking the topic of passion, lust next week, So I'm digging around on the xxxchurch.com website and

I usually jump on there about the time I'm talking about lust, right? It's like I forget it exists, I'm like, hey, had to go over there and see what's going And there was just some of this quote, I wish I I don't know who it was just in a blog, I don't even know who said it, but it it was fascinating. It's just been in kinda on my mind. It's talking about, know, looking at a woman and it said like if you you look once, you're you're a human, you look twice, you're a man. You look three times, you just disrespected your wife. That's kind of stuck with me.

Do you agree with that quote? Yeah. I think I do. I think you like the second time as you're you're starting on the perv perv Well, it depends on how, I guess, how I was gonna say, your mind's going. I think the second is the is is where you're getting in perv territory. This is this is Triple X Church. Don't don't don't diss them. Hey, man. I'm not dissing Triple X Church. I'm just saying, like so you look once, yeah, that's you looking around the world. If you intentionally look again, it's not like you get to blame that on a gender. So yeah. I I mean, the premise of it, it sniffs right. Like, first of don't beat yourself up for,

like, if you're gonna encounter a lady, half of her body is gonna be prone to you looking at it. Right. Unless you're free being stared up all the time. Yeah. And that weirds people out. So, like Trust me. Yeah. So so don't Doesn't work. Don't have to bury yourself in your humanity. God put some of that in you to know that those things exist. But it's I suppose it's the point of which you then start kind of leering. I I I think it it could even be one though, like, you're passing someone

and you didn't catch the backside and so you that's look one on back Here's the deal, gents. Jesus knows if you use that side view mirror. Well, I believe that's turn your head doesn't mean God doesn't go, hey, I saw that glance into the mirror, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A jogger or something that was going by, and they got really skippy tight clothes on, you're like, hey. Oh, hey. It's the next hey is like, okay. Now you've now you're, like, really checking it out as opposed to this person. Hey. That's an attractive person. Right. Hey. That that's what I find attractive about them. Yeah. You know? Then then now you're starting to compare and and maybe go places you shouldn't be. And and and that their whole point was, you know, hey, God created beautiful people. They're everywhere. They're all around us. So don't be, you know, ashamed of yourself that you saw someone,

but discipline yourself to not, you know, start creeping on them. Yeah. I just think, like, after the second time, like, if you're married or whatnot, I mean, basically, like, you gotta pray for things like that. Mhmm. You know, so you don't get caught up in something that That was actually the one of the suggestions in the blog is is to stop doing that, is start start praying for them. Yeah. I thought that well, that's that's kinda like, you know, hey, that's someone's daughter, that's someone's wife potentially, you know, and, you know, they they said, you know, then just thank God. Thank God. It's a beautiful woman. Isn't that great? Yeah. Yeah. I will tell you though, that is that is a recipe to, in a good way, wreck yourself.

Like, seriously, like, when you're when you're driving or when you're walking around or when you're being, you know, whatever, on the on the Internet, even Facebook or social media, and you start to, to look at gals that way, you're a dude, and and you see gals, like, you have to take a step back and realize that is a daughter of king Jesus, it's just like, oh, man. Mhmm. Like, that's a weird deal. Like, that's that's that's

it's a like I said, it's a recipe for you to just go, oh, crap. Like, that is that is a daughter of my king. Like, that is a daughter of my my father. Like, that's one of my sisters, possibly. It gets really creepy when you get old enough to say, that could be my daughter. Right. Oh, that's worse. Oh, yeah. That's much worse. Yeah. Yeah. That I, you know, could be that old. Ugh. Ruined me even worse. Yeah. It does. Over the throat. I I don't know. That seems viable. I think we take a break. Let's do something.

It says, it's one of the Bible's most well known commandments, so why aren't we following it? So the recent poll of 2,000 pastors in North Carolina revealed that less than 10% are keeping a regular Sabbath. Less than 10%. Think about that for a moment. If 90% of pastors announce from the pulpit that murder or stealing or adultery is okay, don't you think it might raise a few eyebrows in the pews, let alone the press? It's true. Jesus freed us from temple and ritual laws, but nowhere does he say we get a pass on moral laws. Of all the moral laws, Christ is especially clear that we must honor the top 10 capitals.

Mhmm. In fact I'm not sure on that. In fact Yeah. I was going say. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not I'm not convinced it's the right way to look at that, but bygones. In fact, he ups the ante. That's a second full quote. If the law says don't commit murder, it's just unnecessary is all. Jesus says don't get mad at the person who just sent you a snarky text. If the law says don't commit adultery, Jesus says don't even surf the Internet looking for racy pictures. That's not the lowest I would go on don't even. The 10 commandments are engraved twice in the walls of the Supreme Court Building. Why? Even for people who don't believe in God, they service the bedrock of morality, except for everyone trying to take them out of the courts.

Did you even read this article? No. It was the subject matter seemed interesting to me. I'm just saying, do some research. Oh, man. Vet it out a bit. For those of us who believe in the creator, the 10 commandments are gifts from the very hand of God. Believe that. Okay. I agree with that. First three commandments are about our relationship with the Lord. The fourth commandment is a bridge. Another full colon. But they were just happen to be working on things that kept them alive Right. As opposed to things that were unnecessarily busy. The result, nonstop stress. When I asked my husband, Matthew, I don't care his name, a physician about the physical consequences of stress, he gave me a mini lesson on the endocrine system.

Aren't you great Matthew? If your body never knows when the next stop day is coming, what the heck is that? This 10 sounds out stress hormones. The these now that has happened to me though. And sometimes it's just related to sleep, but like if I feel like I don't have a I I know there's not a a break or a downtime or a free evening coming up within, like, weeks. Yeah. That happened to me two years ago, two and a half years ago or so. And that was that was actually pretty that did take a a a big toll, because it felt like there was just, you were never gonna recover. Yeah. It felt like you were slowly

following into, like, a crevasse of of weight of things that weren't necessarily overly heavy, but because there was no break in it anywhere, it became heavier than it was. Anyway, so if you've had a severe allergic reaction, a shot of adrenaline could save your life. A few hours later, however, you feel utterly exhausted like you've been rode over by a truck. So I think that is supposed to be

as he went on to explain that when we are under stress long term, our bodies produce another stress hormone called cortisol. Cortisol, I don't care about all this. Here we go. So if you're ready to start attempting to keep a Sabbath, okay, she's gonna give us the solution. I don't know that she actually developed I was gonna say, I'm interested okay. To see Yeah. Go ahead. So do do for her. What what what's

the what's the besides the fact that we're busy, what's the what what I don't know. We we don't prioritize it. Why not? Well, I think that that's your question, isn't it? Why why She's don't really gonna ask one. She's gonna She's not important to Yeah. But why not? We we don't think we need it. We think we're beyond it.

Why? Why do we think that? I don't know. I mean, don't we do half the things we do? I don't know. Yeah. I'm interested to see how she vets out the what to do for the Sabbath thing. Because I'm interested if she's talking about, hey, we need to take a day where we're just hanging out with our family playing Uno, or if we need to take a day where we're legitimately just, like, focusing nothing on God, or if we just need to take a day off from work and all activities. I'm interested to see what she wants

people to do in order to fix this. Yes. She's got some solutions here. I guess, what I'm interested in is so, like, personally, if this explains you why, like, what what why isn't this not a why isn't it a priority? Is it okay that it's not a priority?

Because it's not for me. I don't I I I might lament as I go through a week. I might say, hey, I feel like I should have got the following things done. I don't ever get to the end of the week and go, I should have made sure that I had that. I took some Sabbath rest. Right? Right. Yeah. I've never been there. What I don't understand though is that, like, I have a pretty consistent nag on my life of things like, hey, don't you don't get three looks at that lady, or you need to treat people better, or you need to have coffee with that dude. This one is not this one does not come after me. That's I've yeah. I've never been con the one time I've been convicted to talk or even think about Sabbath was when I was working two jobs

and was working Monday through Friday one, and then Saturday and Sunday the next one. And so I legitimately did not have a day off from work. Yeah. And so I actually ended up quitting that job for that reason. Well, that was one of the reasons, that I'd I'd talked to people that I trusted and, that that I knew cared about me from that perspective and wanted to talk about, know, hey. When's your Sabbath? Like, what are you doing for that? I And didn't have an answer other than I don't have one. And so I really kinda jumped in and thought, that's a problem. That that's an issue. Not just from a, hey, I'd like to be lazy one of the days, but it was really, like, I focus solely on where my money comes from. Yeah. So maybe that's part of the deal is like, I think maybe we don't prioritize it because we don't understand it. Because that would be my first reaction too is like, hey, I get it. I need a day where I'm supposed to just be lazy. Yeah. I don't think that's what the Sabbath is about. Well, even if it was, right, like, we're still prioritizing wrong. We're we're we're judging it through the

our current world's value system as opposed to God's value system. Right? That's true. Call it I call it lazy because external twenty four seven go go go world says, hey, man, I gotta be lazy. It's not doing anything today. Yeah. Whereas, if it is a if it is a biblical priority that says rest is important Mhmm. But it's how God describes at times his relationship, you will be in my rest. Right? So, like, if there's a value to it, I just disagree with God on the value of it. Like, at the moment, I'm simply disagreeing with him that it is a valuable thing, that is a necessary thing. I'm getting by just fine without it. Thank you, Jesus. I'm trying to do other things for you. Coffee don't drink itself with the other dudes. But, I mean, maybe God, you know, he needs you to rest up, so you can't continue to do his work, like, who knows what happens Right. On that day, you know, like But I think life do keep us moving and going, so you don't even have a time to do it. But, you know, kids and work and everything going on, you know, but I really think it is an important day. But it's just since nobody really exercises it, I mean, it's really hard to

really make it happen, you know, when like you say, like, you don't want to feel like you're a lazy person because, you know, these things still can be done, but at the same time, like, you will still even if you try to get some rest and you, like, you got the kids jumping on you in. Yeah. So I I mean, that that's the thing though, is that is I think, maybe this is just self indicting, but, like, I need to switch my value system. If I, like, if if what was it? Was it Paul's in Philippians talking about, like, if I'm gonna please if I'm out to please man, like, I'm doing a terrible job of it. He's doing things that otherwise are out to please God. And so if this is one of the things where God's like, yeah, this do this. This pleases me. And I've decided to say, well, I'm doing your stuff. That's why I'm all tied up and can't do this. Like, that's see that's dumb.

Well, we're we're looking short term, you know, this week and next week and this year and next year, and God's looking more, you know, at a decade at a time and a generation at a time, knowing if I'm taking if I'm getting in my my rhythm of rest, I am sharpening myself so that thirty years now, I'm still going as opposed to five years down the road, I'm just out of gas. There's there's a lot of people, they just hit the wall, and it's they just burn out and crash, you know, because they they were drinking too much coffee with too many dudes when they should have been sitting at home, you know, in the newspaper or something. Right. You know, and and just disengaging a little bit. So I I think it's more of the marathon run than than anything. You gotta have those breaks. No. And that's true. And I think that that speaks also kind of the same thing. Like, if that's that's what we're focused on. Right? You're focused on your day to day, your micro stuff. Mhmm. And you don't you don't have a macro perspective. That's gods to give. And frankly, from the only guy who can see it correctly, we probably should be taking advice. Yeah. Yeah. You can see the beginning and the end. Yeah. Right. Right. Crap. Alright. So he says, if you're ready to start attempting to keep a Sabbath, Buva, here are a few ways that you can start. Sweet. Full colon.

Here's a simple truth. Full colon. Come on. You tell it. I know that I'm neurotic about it, but that seems excessive. Yeah. Do full colons in basically one sentence is a bit ridiculous. It won't happen unless you schedule it. For most people, Sabbath is celebrated on Sunday. For church leaders, hospital workers, and people who provide emergency service services, as well as pizza delivery men, Sabbath might have to be moved to another day of the week. Because our ministry requires frequent travel, I use Google Calendar to schedule our Sabbath. Yeah. I care how you keep your personal calendar. This lets our stuff know when we'll be offline, allows them to plan accordingly. Alright. So you you you got to do it intentionally for one. I didn't and I think that's true. Right? Anything you don't do intentionally, you will not do unintentionally. Right? Yeah. Double negative. Sift through it. Yes. Two, prepare joyfully. In today's twenty four seven world, Sabbath keeping is countercultural semi COVID. It doesn't just happen by default. If

you long to lay down your heavy burdens, good night, you'll need to be more intentional about your time the other six days of the week. On Sabbath eve, I clean up my email box, finish chores, run errands with an almost giddy joy. I also plan ahead for holy fun, seeking out new places for a hike or picking out a book to read along with my husband, Matthew, who I love. Did you just say holy fun? Now she said that, not me. I didn't even insert that. That sounded like something you jokingly inserted. No. Legit said holy fun. Yeah. She might be in on to something though, you know, like Schedule your holy fun walks with Jesus. You never know. Dan, do you schedule your Pokemon GO time? Here's the thing. It's on Thursdays at seven. Okay. Perfect. As long as that's the Google Calendar. Is that your Sabbath today? Yeah. Actually, it is. Well, there you go. Let's see. Mhmm. Pick a pick out a book to read aloud with my husband. Guess what? You read aloud to your wife? Nightly.

Hey, wait. Do you read? Alright, sweetheart. What's the book going here tonight? I feel like my I I would go back to that relationship thing. Was that in there? Was that on the list? Read aloud to your wife. He's 98. Number nine. That's a good one. I feel like my wife can't Don't tell read. Here we go. Figure out what work is for you.

Scholars have argued for centuries about how to define rest. Here's a simple definition, full colon. Decide what work is for you and don't do it on your Sabbath. For people engaged in sedentary work during the week, puttering around in the garden on the Sabbath might be restful. For people who do manual labor, holy rest might mean taking a nap. I feel like taking a nap is always holy rest. Yeah. Mhmm. I mean, it's mystified. Yeah. Pray and play. Eugene Peterson, one of my theological heroes and author of The Message, once said that there are only two to two rules for Sabbath, guess? Folkola.

Play and pray. Now, in his eighth decade of life, Peterson also believes Sabbath keeping is the best thing he ever did for his marriage, his children and his ministry. My family and I have been keeping the Sabbath for the past dozen years and all I can can say is, amen. Now grown, our kids kept the Sabbath throughout high school, college, medical school and now residency. The Sabbath gave them something almost none of their peers had, even while attending a Christian college, full colon, a day off. No homework, no chores, no shopping, just time with family, friends, and God. Oh, find a Sabbath, buddy.

My up your t shirts. Hey, Matthew. What are you doing on Thursdays at seven? I'm interested in having a Sabbath. Would you be interested as well?

Here we go. My husband Let's have few fun. Whom I love and who we spend time reading aloud together, run a non profit I'm calling. Run a non profit together. We both have workaholic tendencies. We both love our work. This is a dangerous combination. Yet, no matter what deadlines are looming, my hubby and I do not work on the Sabbath. When one of us begins to talk shop, we gently remind each other to give a rest. No one.

It's a full saint. A full saint. Sabbath is best practiced in community, so find a Sabbath buddy. Help each other. I like the shirts. David, you say so. That's what I did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, buddy. I wanna put out on Craigslist looking for Sabbath buddy. Are you interested in holy fun? We go to Adventureland together.

Pray or play? If I see you in that shirt, I will tell you to go home and take a nap. Here we go. Sabbath is best practicing community. Oh, no. We're gonna get another colon in here. So find a Sabbath, buddy. Help each other to create a Sabbath plan, full colon, what you'll need to do to get ready, how you'll celebrate, and what you'll avoid on your day of rest. Then check-in and encourage each other. That sounds like work. Hey, gotta check-in with Buva on the Sabbath, make sure he's holding to the Sabbath. Hey, man. You Sabbathing right now? No rest for the Sabbath, buddy. I was napping. Thanks for waking me up. Really? Think Super Bowl destroyed it. Yeah. The Super Bowl. That's what did it? You think people were Sabbath and clean until the production of the Super Bowl?

It was a downfall society. Yeah. NFL did it. Oh, man. Alright. Alright. See, here's the deal. I feel like I should do this, though. Like, this is legitimately the problem for me. I don't know about the Sabbath, buddy.

I'm not gonna be your Sabbath, buddy. Well, no. I was gonna ask you anyway. Yes, you were. No, you were. You were giving me that look. I saw it. No. I'd already I'd already knew it. I I was trying to You were contemplating. Is Buva gonna be a good Sabbath? No. I was gonna let you down easy. That's what I was trying to think of. Hey. I appreciate that. He wanted to surprise you with a shirt first. Hey, so what are the qualities that you look for in a Sabbath, buddy? What do you think, Gesemus? Someone that'll read to me. Hey, man. You could alternate Sabbath so the person who's reading to you is the one who's burdened on the situation and you can just see the one who's being read to. And so the next day, it's your turn to read to them since it's no longer your Sabbath. You know, here's what I think I think Harris is on to something slightly. I'm just trying to think of the modern things that ruin the Sabbath. It's probably lazy dudes going back to the Mark Driscoll sermon. So I could see a guy not taking the garbage out Saturday and his wife going, hey, you take that garbage out? He's like, Sabbath. Hey. Spread it out. That

is not holy fun, Donutius, for me. This is I did this is what I do all all during the week. I take the garbage out. I take the rest from it. Is it on The kids do it. Sincere question though. Is it honestly against the Sabbath to take your trash out? That's good question. New Testament Sabbath. Yeah. Real Sabbath? No. I mean, Old Testament Sabbath. Pharisees would Pharisees. That's what I'm saying. He's yeah. Yeah. Yeah. From a phariseitical perspective, yeah. Picking up a piece of trash off the ground. Hey, man. Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. But, like, I don't think there's a legit problem with, hey, man. There's dirty trash on the ground. It's gross. Jesus I want to clear out. Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Yeah. Right. Right. And that and that's that's where I feel like this is this whole article is just like, are you really taking into consideration that? I think you just just don't make it a certain day or certain hours. Oh, it's sundown. I can't do it now. You know, just just Mhmm. Get in a I can't lift anything. I need to lay here all day. Did anyone Right. Prepare food last night because I can't today. Right. We actually had the kids were studying, going like around the world

in in at school and stuff and so we're making dishes from various parts of the world and the Israeli dish was like a Saturday night stew Uh-huh. With herbs and then bitter herbs and chicken and stuff that was they had to keep, right, because you would eat that all day Sunday so that people weren't cooking. It was like an intentionally done so that you would have it Yep. Available on Sunday. But yeah. Yeah. So I think, in general, the the the two things you're looking for is don't disregard the don't disregard the amount of time. Right? Because, like, I, like, I Sabbath for a couple hours or something, like, I mean, even taking in consideration how Jesus talked about the Sabbath, like, that's still a day. It's still referring to, like, a day. Right. And so, like, I think you can lowball the impact of the amount of rest you need, time spending, not laboring,

if if you you sneak it in like a checklist item. And probably the nature of the work is less of the point. Right? Like, are you like, most people could be answer the question, hey, you working? Yeah. Right? And if you say, yeah, then maybe you should not do that on the Sabbath. But like, if if you saw me taking my garbage out on a Sunday afternoon and my neighbor's like, hey, Ben, what's up? You working? I'd be like, no. No. Just taking out the trash. Then I would not define that as work. And so like Right. I think there's there's a bit of a it's kind of in implicit. I don't know that we have to split those hairs, really.

Although, be wary of a wise spouse when you try to pull the old, hey, I'm not taking that trash out. It's the Sabbath. And then she says things like, Jesus is greater than the Sabbath and he wants you to take that trash out. Because then she has you. Oh, buddy. She hands you a She laid the hammer down. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. He is the lord of the Sabbath. That's right. One one greater than the Sabbath Shoot. Is here and I think Alright. That's actually reads Hebrews to you. Yeah. Yeah. Out loud. Chapter five. Alright. Find a Sabbath buddy. I don't know about that, boo.

May Neither do money. Maybe it's maybe it's right as an accountability item. I mean, here's the deal. There's it's still wisdom. Right? It's there's it is still made for man. And think about this. We we pray for God. I I pray for your blessings upon me. Please, God, thank you for your gifts. And he gives you a Sabbath as an instruction, and we're like, I give or take it. No wonder he doesn't give out stuff to people all the time. We can't seem to handle it. We take his gifts and go, we'll use it as we see fit. Thank you very much. Yeah. Sabbath is a gift? I could see having accountability. Yes. But a Sabbath buddy just sounds wrong.

I don't think that's different from an accountability. It just sounds a little bit more friendly. Maybe you go fishing together. You have to ask you you have to ask what would you do. It has to be something you you have to have similar interests. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, man. You wanna make a puzzle this Saturday? Sabbath, buddy. We're moving up to 750 pieces. I mean, a lot of rest. Thousand pieces. You know what's ideal?

Your your significant other. Yeah. You know But if you don't have one of those creepily ask a dude, hey, do you have a Sabbath buddy? Yeah. Hey, actually, go out to the sculpture park and look for a guy Pokemon going, wandering around on his lonesome, and then don't look the app too. Either either he needs a Sabbath buddy or his Sabbath buddy is letting him down. So he goes, so give him the snuggles. Right. Give him the snuggles

Yeah. Does not sound like the right way to put that. Reward. Reward. No. No. Yeah. I landed exactly where I wanted to land. You're keep it on giving the snuggles? Yeah. Alright. Alright. Alright. You're listening to Live The Path. Hey, thanks for hanging out with us so far. I hope you're you can listen to the the Live From The Path on the Sabbath. Feel I like that's cool. I feel like that's understandable. That's not worth live from the path on the Sabbath. And here's the deal. Well, here's the deal. This is not really work for me either. I was gonna say, this is kind of my rest too. I'm I'm legitimately laying against a wall right now. Yeah. No. I keep switching the camera when you use your phone, Buba, so that there's video evidence every time you look down, I'll be using it. Hey, man. I'm legitimately scrolling through the deer and abbeys right now. Fair enough. Anyway, yeah, that's work. So There we go. Valentine fifty five. Hey.

Hey, if you haven't done so, go out and like like 45 on the Facebook. They were in the show a couple weeks ago. They're awesome. Yeah. Yeah. They're they're real good, and, they they I saw them. They were on, TV. What? They played acoustically for their local, television station up in Rochester. Hey, man. We're a stepping stone for someone else. That's what I'm saying. Everybody has to step on someone low brow to get to the top, and we're happy to be that low brow. We're the low brow. Mhmm. We're the we're the guys you step on and think, I gotta get a bigger stool. But you wouldn't know that had you not tried here first. Right. So anyway, make sure you go check them out. And also, Tessa Johnson was in here. She played a a song called Pentecostal when she was here and she just came out with her

it's not an album version, it's like a single version that And she got that's out there on Annette. Go go find her on Facebook and you can pick it up there or she's under what was her what was her Twitter handle? I am Tessa? Something like that. Was it I am Tessa j? I am Tessa yeah. Something like that. I think it's I am Tessa j and that's also on Spotify too. Oh, yeah. Sweet. So, yeah. Just look up Tessa Johnson and you're looking for the song Pentecostal and you can hear that and and you can you can check that out. There's some weird there's some weird murmurings at the start of the tune though. I can't pick it out. But power through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Power through it and don't get freaked out about the people people talking.

Hey. Did you hear that Tim Lehay died? Hey. I did see that. Left behind dude? I didn't realize he was that old. He's like 90. Yeah. He was like, I had no idea either. Yeah. Now, the the other guy, the Jenkins, he was younger. He's a younger dude. Not mean, not young young, but he's a little bit younger than that. But Older than 90? Tim Lehay. And here's the thing is like, when I read an article on about him, and like, it's weird, like you he kinda gets in a box, that guy. Right? Like, he's the guy that wrote the books. But I mean, the guy was a pastor. He was a you know, he produced other books on other pastoral type things. He wrote a big book, eighties, seventies, I don't know. The Act of Marriage was like that was like the standard book you would give to young couples who had, you know, never

been together and stuff. It had someone gave it to us, and that was like it was really awkward, but really kinda cool to read because I didn't know what to expect. I mean, I knew what I thought to expect. I saw the movies. It's about getting it on? Yeah. I mean, part of it, there's there's some pretty detailed stuff in it, like Ugh. Here's what you might expect. I'm like, I've never done this. I don't know. That made me It's not at all how I imagined it. That's That made me physically uncomfortable. Like the two of you having a conversation. What? I literally just went Hey, If you don't know what you're walking into, I mean, that's a good point. It is. It is. There's stuff you just assume and you're like, hey, that's not at all how I thought Dan, when I'm ready to make someone missus Buva, please do not give me that book. I I may have recently purchased that book from someone I know and Oh, man. Here's here's what you don't here's what you don't want. You don't wanna get into that moment, and all of a sudden, people are going, what is that?

Guys, don't see The movies never say this. Does that book address that? Yes. There there are there are steps missing here. I'm physically uncomfortable with this situation. You know, weird dudes.

What? No. I know. I don't know. It seems legitimate. Sometimes you need That's what scares me most. Is how for this you are. Sometimes you need some care, I guess. I mean, without the advent of the Internet, probably straightened out a lot of those questions. I was just about to say that. Hey. In ways that you wouldn't want them straightened out. Think about if you had a healthy way to do some of that stuff, and assuming that your parents or, I don't know, perv buddy didn't otherwise inform you of some things. Certainly, you need it's not wrong to have some sort of guidance like that. Yeah.

Alright. Alright, booba. It's a really awkward read. Is it? I've read it for thirty two years or so. Now I feel like I wanna take a look at it, make sure I'm not I kinda do it at same point in time too. Like, if I'm being I'm being honest about the duality in my heart right now. Like, I kinda wanna go That's why deal. But at the same point in time, I'm just like, what am I missing? You're all gonna be ordering it tonight. That's what I'm saying. What don't I know? Active marriage. Active marriage. The thirst of knowledge. What don't I know right now? Guestman's got four kids already. I got three, but you think you're like, hey, maybe I'm missing something. Currently.

I'm currently childless, so I'm just like, oh, I must be missing something. Yeah. No. You're doing alright for now. Thank you. I've never really been confused on that part, like, hey, Jesus, is it is it is it a bad deal right now that I don't have kids? I actually didn't know okay. I'm alright. I'm gonna gonna

I am today. This is gonna be good. Currently or possibly listening to Dear Loud or to Live From The Past. Flag it for playback. So I I the the way that they talked about stuff in health class, it was not clear to me that AIDS was not generated during sexual activity.

Right? That, like, you had to come into physical contact with someone who actually had AIDS. Oh, yeah. To get AIDS. Right? Or to contact anything, right? Anything Yeah. That was transmitted sexually. Like, the way that they described it, it was such like a scare fest Mhmm. That, like, it made it sound like Even if you don't have it, if you have sex, it happens. Yeah. So like Careful how you do this. Yeah. The person starts with a Yeah. Because like, I get what they're I get what they're coming from. They say things like, hey, having sex with random people, you could get herpes. But like, didn't it wasn't clear. They weren't specific that like That's random person. You had sex with a guy that had herpes. Yeah. Right. That's actually the cause of the problem. The random act is what actually makes it like contracting a virus. The right amount of friction will cause herpes. Too much hand holding and it happens. I I mean, here's the thing, like, a relatively sheltered in this area. Okay? So, like, I I'm not saying this is a universal experience, but, like No. It was, a year or two later where I thought, hey, man. That doesn't make sense. It doesn't it doesn't it's not like I'm not advocating for sex with random people. I'm just saying there was a missing element to this story that like you actually it's because and it made a lot more sense. I'm like, oh, yes. That makes it's like catching a cold. I get it. Yeah. You've come into close contact with someone's It's cold.

Then you're you're you run risks. Right? Anyway I have to say, out of all the things that I was expecting you to say, that was probably one of the better ones you could have said. So I I I I'm proud of you. I filtered. Finally. I I can't give it all away. I'm publishing a book. Now that Lehay's out of the way, feel like this is Oh, man. Open the market. We need a new book for the new generation. I didn't realize this was such a gap. You didn't even know about it. I wish I had more commentary, but I just

what to do with your Sabbath, buddy? Have him read you the act of marriage. I know. Was Full disclaimer. Do not do that. I was thinking of something else. Go ahead, Bubba. I'm just I'm just saying you find the right Sabbath, buddy. Anyway, go go about your business. Oh, jeez.

I find nothing to repent of here. Continue. Alright. We're Dear Lives Path? Yeah. Let's go. Alright. Please ask about virginity. Dear, lie from the path.

My beloved father passed away three years ago. One of my older sisters sisters moved in with mom to help take care of her and be her companion. My sister has a boyfriend, my father absolutely disliked, and the rest of our family doesn't like him either. My issue, parenthesis, and I'm not the only family member who feels this way, is that when her boyfriend is at the house, he sits in dad's chair. It's hard enough not seeing dad there anymore, but seeing the boyfriend sitting there is offensive.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? If there is a way, how could I or my family approach the subject without with my sister or her boyfriend? Daddy's gone now. Buy buy a new chair. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. The sister's boyfriend sits in the chair? Yeah. The sister's boyfriend sits in dad's chair and everyone's offended. Three years? Mhmm. Yeah. It's been three years since dad passed. Yeah. Mean, here's the thing is I get it. I get it. Right? Like, especially if you every time you ever went over there, dad's in his chair. You know? Okay. I get it. It would be different. I guess, for and then now that I've asked this question, this makes more sense. But I was I was thinking that the mom had picked up a boyfriend and he was sitting in the chair. Oh, yeah. And that seems to be like, hey, get a new chair and maybe move it to the other side of room or something. Yeah. I would definitely say that's a boyfriend. But like sister's boyfriend sitting in the chair, like And apparently, everybody like sister's boyfriend. Suggest him a new chair, like, maybe get him a new chair, like, hey,

why don't you just sit in this chair? Know, how awkward is that gonna be? Dude sitting in a chair, you walk up a separate chair and go, hey, doesn't this one look better? Yeah. I mean And then just set it in a different part of the room? Come on over. Check out it. And then haul the other chair out of the living room. Come and see. Pat Dick Harris trying to sell it. Hey, he's good at it. Hey, you could totally just put a sign on the chair that says do not sit here. Yeah. Or just put a sign on the chair that says, Sabbath buddy.

He'll sit in the other one. Yeah. That's right. You invoke the wrath of father for I his I mean, you gotta I get it. I get the sentimental attachment. Like, either get rid of the chair if if no one can sit in it or or get get over it. Rope it off and hire a bouncer. Or or have Harris go, come and see all my sides. Right. It it seems like they're just offended at this specific person sitting in the chair because they'll be like for another reason to not like him. Yeah. It's like, yeah, you know that that Mary's boyfriend, oh, I can't stand up. Yeah. You know how he sits at dad's chair? Oh, yeah. He's been That's with it. He's been drinking diet coke in the house too. Dad always drank diet coke. He's trying to turn into dad. Yeah. I yeah. I I I there were certain circumstances, like I said,

boyfriend of mother, if she started dating someone, that I would say, you just gotta get rid of the chair. That's fair. But but short of that, I feel like you're overreacting. That's Or maybe it's just he just don't understand that he sit when the whole room's looking at him crazy, like, what's he looking at? So, like, I get that, but right, like, what do you tell him then what? Nobody sits in the chair? Yeah. That's awkward. Keep a shrine to dad sitting with the best view of the TV? What a waste of him, man. Keep a shrine, but put it, like, somewhere else. Yeah. Could count it No instead of one else sits in the chair, then it's sort of, like, I don't know, like, a remembrance of them. I mean, since it's so early and you never know what type of relationship they got with That's a number of years though, Haros. Don't you think that, like, that enough time has passed where you can't you gotta take this idol out of the living room? Yeah. It happens at certain it happens for certain times as for certain people though. Like, my dad Yeah. So my dad's been gone for almost seven years now. It took

it probably took a good couple of years for me to start kinda getting rid of stuff. Yeah. Like, kept everything, because I thought it was awesome. I even kept I kept his clothes. Because, like, I'm a big guy, my dad was a big guy. I didn't fit in the clothes, but, like, just in case I ever got that big, I wanted to have them. Right. It it took me I probably didn't throw those away until two years ago. Mhmm. So I was five years in, and I and I threw in my dad's clothes. It could take a while, but is the mom offended, or was it just It sounds like this is the sister Yeah. The daughter of the mom. So this is like this is just another daughter. Yeah. I think she just doesn't like the boyfriend. Yeah. That's that's what's well, she that was the first beginning of that was her beginning. Yeah. Alright. Let's see here. Secular says, please accept my sympathy for the loss of your obviously much loved father, but the boyfriend may be using dad's chair because no one else is using it, and it is comfortable and available. As I see it, you and your others or you and your other siblings have two choices, either speak to the boyfriend and tell him nicely that seeing him occupy your father's special chair is painful for all of you, or replace the chair with one that has less sentimental value.

Yeah. Take it with you. Alright. Let's see. What's the next one? Sorry. I've been sitting there on that one trying to figure out. Give me a second here. No. Yeah. No worries. Just take your time. It's what I'm doing. It's actually exactly what I'm doing. Anyway Alright. Okay. Good. I was gonna talk with Gus about our sex manual, but I Hey. Thank you. I'm really glad I found this right now. Dear, live from the past. I'm a grandmother and great grandmother who's concerned about the behavior of my grandson toward his seven year old daughter, Beth, and her nine year old cousin, Mandy. When Mandy recently visited me, she told me her uncle crept up behind her and put his hand over her mouth and then held her nose so she couldn't breathe.

She said he has done that to Beth too. Mandy said he held her like that until she felt faint and then let go laughing. Apparently, he does this all in fun, but I see nothing funny about it. What would make someone do something like this? Mandy told me Beth is afraid of her dad and doesn't wanna be left alone with him. I'm very concerned, but I live several states away and don't know what to do. Not funny. The I don't know. The that's

tough because the example like, there's there's people who don't have a good filter for, hey, you know what, that's not really funny actually. Right? Like but then, like, the second part that those two don't necessarily correlate for me. Right? Like, the guy that oversteps his bounds on what he thinks is funny, because there's always there's always people like that, is different than someone who is, I don't want to be alone with him, specifically because I think he might try to hold my nose and laugh. Like, that that those two things don't necessarily correlate. Right? So I think that it's designed to paint a trajectory. I just don't know that we have enough information to be like, yes, that trajectory is true. Okay. Yeah. So I'd be I'm I'm a little hesitant there, but I I suppose I would I'd follow with the mom.

Like, is is is it did it imply that she's no mom? Doesn't it doesn't make it seem like mom's gone. It's just a grandmother and great grandmother. Yeah. So I might I might ask the mom and just Talk to mom, see if they can glean more information on the situation? Yeah. Make sure the kid's not overstating the facts. Make sure there's nothing about the story from mom that might give you a little bit better perspective here. Yeah. I mean, somebody you'd like to talk to the guy to tell him to to knock it off, then it's not funny. But, like, it depends what he's actually doing in addition to that as to whether this is a, hey, hey, man. Just I know you think that's funny, but, like, you're kinda wigging around. Is this the one instance where the dude just thinks he's funny and we need to stop him? Yeah. Or is let him know that he's not being funny, or is it just, like, the one thing you see versus everything else that's happening? Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's fair. Alright. Anybody else?

Yeah. That seems it's just weird. That's weird. Yeah. I I mean The dude's just being creepy. Yeah. Yeah. It's not funny. And, like, I I don't understand, like, what about that do you get your jollies on? Like, what is exciting about that? The kid's obviously not enjoying it. It's not funny on its own. Right. Like, I don't understand. Yeah. There's there's nothing funny about overpowering a child. So I'm thinking that, like like, I know a guy who would probably do something like that. I do too, actually. Yeah. Yeah. You all in this room know this guy. And and and he he he just needs someone to say, like, honestly, really, don't do that.

Right. You know, he probably just doesn't even he didn't he's not even thinking, could really be hurting someone. Yeah. He's like, those gonna be great. And that's what I'm saying, like, I like you it seems real weird, but yeah, it could happen, right, that someone is would do something like that. I don't doesn't imply fear when you're in the room alone with him at all times, like that's I'm assuming this I'm projecting innocence on him, but I'm assuming, yeah, it's just like, he just didn't get it, like Yeah. That's just not cool. Yeah. Yeah. That that's what I would say. Alright. Let's see what Sekula says. Your grandson has a bizarre sense of humor, That he would smother anyone, let alone a child, to the point of fainting is sadistic bullying abusive behavior. Talk to this child's mother to see how she feels about this. If he would do this to a child, one can only imagine what he may be doing to her.

That seems demonizing. She's the person to put a stop to this. If she can't manage that, then any child in the home should be living elsewhere. Yeah. Okay. That might be too much. Just have a talk with Yeah. Have a have a talk with the mother and then kind of reevaluate circumstances.

Let's see if we can find a light one. I had a actually, to talk about something heavy, I was I was outside the other day and someone in the neighborhood was I don't the kid wasn't acting the way they're supposed to. And like some of the things that this mom was saying to this kid, I thought, good night. There's no way this kid is not going to be jacked up. Like it was real it was real threatening, real manipulative, like, what do you do what will you do when I hurt myself because of how you act? I'm like, what good night? What is that? Yeah. That's And like and like her daughter was there saying, stop talking like that.

But like, it wasn't flinching, so I'm assuming, like, this is something that is said before. Yeah. It was just it was and I thought, okay, I always think you would've jacked with someone. It's like first of all, it's it's it's it'll never accomplish what you want to accomplish. Right? Because, like, you've it's already not good. You're not doing that, and, like, you've basically shown, hey, I have no power to influence you at all. Mhmm. So I'm just gonna say whatever comes in my mouth to try to scare you and freak you out. But, obviously, like, it's not working. The kid was just completely blowing past it. And, like, I guess she's probably really frustrated with the kid who's not listening to her. She was asking something pretty basic of this guy, and he's and he's not reacting at all. But I thought, good night. Like, are you like, I I wonder if both of those people, like, the boy and the mom both realized that neither of them the thing that they actually want is well within their grasp,

and neither of them are going to attain it to the ways in which they're attempting to do so. Yeah. I I heard some mom the other day, I some store, and she was on, like, the other side of the aisle. So I didn't see her and her children. And she kept saying whatever the kids were doing, I'm gonna knock you out. Oh. And and obviously, the kid knew she wasn't. Right. And and she knew she wasn't, but she just kept threatening, and I was like, man, this seems kinda extreme. You know? Mhmm. You know, I was just like I almost went over there like this just to see like, who who is this person? But yeah. Yeah. It's kind of hard to believe people kind of talk the way they do to their kids and And I think that's what's that doing to them? And what what's so weird is that like parents want their words to be powerful, but then they treat them so flippantly. Yeah. Right. And they try to and they try to bully them the words that that that and they're not back with much and so like you actually your words don't mean anything and they get real frustrated and that's where they result to other ways of trying to get kids to to do something. But, like, you totally wasted all your words, your words of encouragement, your words of praise, even your words of, of discipline in such a stupid way, and now you're that your words don't mean anything to somebody. Mhmm. There

are so so being an a a younger guy that's wanting to be a dad soon, within the next couple years is what I mean by soon. I have, by the the words of other people, of taken it upon myself to find good fathers

to watch, to spend time with, to watch them interacting with their families. And by doing so, I I've started to become more and more sensitive to that kind of stuff. K. There's a there's a guy in my life that that's, he's a dad, and he is,

his son's best friend. Like, they're they're best friends, and they get along with everything, and they play fight, and they scream at each other for having fun. But when it comes down to you need to do this, and I expect this to be done, it is five minutes of disrespectful, disobedience the kid just runs around, doesn't do it, and then it turns into threatening.

And I constantly I have to set him down and remind him. I'm just like, how do you expect to command any kind of respect from your child when you're his best friend that's his age, in his eyes. You are not dad to him. You are buddy. If you both get along and do the same things, not from a paternal perspective, but from, hey, we both just kinda like doing this. We relate to each other as children. Yeah. We relate to each other as children. That's problem. And then if you relate to each other as children, father doesn't happen.

And so I say that because, like, as a as a serious warning to people, if you're not a parent yet, I sincerely want you to go out and find good parents. Find parents that that are doing it right. Not perfect parents because you're not going to. Find parents that are doing this right. Maybe they have kids that are in their twenties, and you get to listen to stories. Maybe they have kids that are very young, and they're learning how to do it too, but they're doing it right.

Watch them, and pay attention to them. Ask them questions. Because when it comes down to it, you know, you're gonna screw up parenting, but the preparation that you do today could make it so you screw up a lot less. Mhmm. Mhmm.

Yeah. Agreed. You got one more over there? Yep. It's a it's a light one. Dear liar from the path. I have a granddaughter who is getting married soon. If I give the couple money as a wedding gift, whose name should go on the check? First, the brides or the grooms? Grandpa in Iowa. What? You know, whichever one, I guess. Why does it matter? Would I be your mean, just don't write a third party's name on there.

The check balance. The heck? Write the check to yourself. That'd be hysterical. I mean, maybe there's a right protocol to that, but like. Yeah. Put the dude first and the and and the and the gal and the girl will think it's really cool because they're married now and then she has a husband and Would any of you guys have cash? Either way? No. I mean, maybe the one that's most responsible with the money. So

determine it based off of who's responsible. Yeah. I like your sound, Nick. Alright. Yeah. No. I don't know that I'd put two more thoughts in about it. Like, just start writing and whosever name comes out first, I think it's probably just fine. Better go with cash. Draw names out of a hat. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Just hit up an ATM. Well, then what name do I put on the letter? Just drop it into the bucket or something. I threw some cash in the bucket. And then if someone else put cash in there, they won't know how much came from you, and maybe you'll get the benefit of having put in 200. Did grandpa Joe give us anything? No. He just dropped cash. No. He just put cash in the thing. He was too worried. I can't go like

No. If you give us a card, no. Sure didn't. There's money in there. I gave you what you really wanted. You see that you see that giant present table? There's cash somewhere on it and it was for me. Yeah. Perfect. Alright. Secular says, if your granddaughter and her fiance intend to have separate checking accounts, put her name on the check. Oh. However, if they will be opening a joint account after the wedding, it would make sense to put both their names on it. And the order in which you list the names is whichever you prefer. Does anybody do separate bank accounts? No. No? I don't have. I know couples that do and I just laugh at them for their distrust. We've done it before, it wasn't mistrust. It was just we just did it for a while. Well, the people that I know, it it might the reason.

I'm not saying that's the only reason to do it, but that's what it is. Why did you do it before, Dan? My wife was, like, saying, I never have any money, and I said, here, you take care of these bills, you do whatever you want. And for some reason, we had two accounts anyway. And here, you take this account, I'll take this one. We did it for a few years, and we're like, you know, we just threw it all together, and it was just that would I mean, does it help you work better under your under a budget, like, personally? Like, there's not I don't know. Did did you have, like, an allotment that said once you pay these bills and the rest of the money there, you can do what you want with? Yeah. It was like, here's how much you make, and here's what these bills are. So it gives you x amount, whatever usually. Yeah. So if you work any extra, it's your play money. It doesn't matter. If you work less, whatever. As long as those are paid, don't care and I'll pay for these with my item. And my grandparents worked under that premise. Although, like, it was a basically, grandma was was responsible for the all the bills and stuff went into a joint account that they both had access to. And then grandpa,

she just gave him, $50, and then he didn't have to think about it. He just could he knew that he had money. He could go to the harbor freight and buy 8,000 tools with $50 or whatever it is at the harbor freight. And so, like, it was just a way for him to keep a budget. Either there's money in there or there's not. Right. So I mean, there's probably ways to do it, but like, I would agree most of the people that I know that have separate bank accounts like that are doing it in in a weird way that doesn't Yeah. This is we're we're married, but this is my money. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Don't spend it. Alright. Well, it's alright. So we said, grandpa, write whatever you want. I I do you have to would you even know that though? What was her advice to see? If they're gonna have separate checking us, were you gonna ask? Right. I was wondering. How are you planning to manage your finances once you're married? Yeah. It matters to me as I write the check. Hey, couple. What's the plan for financial future? You think this thing's gonna last? Because I don't wanna put his name on it. Alright. You've been listening to Life in the Path. Thanks for hanging out with us. You can go to the website info or excuse me, lifeinthepath.org, test, past clips from the show, sign up for the podcast. And, over the next few weeks, you'll see, we'll probably expand some of the content in there, just sharing some more of the stuff that we care about. Maybe it's articles, videos,

some of the music, that that kind of stuff. Some of the artists on the show or that we've had in here produce really good music. And though we don't when we have the acoustic recordings out from the show, we might start sharing just some of the stuff they got going on on the website so you can explore some of that more. So anyway, just keep an eye out where we'll be expanding a little bit on the website over the next few weeks. And if you need help for something that's going on, shoot us an email at full life in the path dot org with a dear life in the path. We're glad to attempt to severally mock you and then see if we do our very best to help you out. We'll try our best not to mock In the interim, thanks for listening and please be faithful to me. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to Live From The Pack.