Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live from the path. And you're listening to live from the path. We're coming from the Pathway Studios here in Johnston Proper.

Boom. What do say? Did you say boom? No. Zoom. Oh, Hey. Who says boom goes the dynamite? Is that Ogilogorilla? Oh.

Oh, man. I I start I was reading a book. I was reading a book to my kids, and I I I caught myself representing one of the characters as if it's he was Droopy the dog. You remember Droopy the dog? Yeah. The real lazy sheriff? Yeah. Yeah. There's a there's a there's a a book that was written by this Stan and Jan Berenstain, who wrote to Berenstain Bareth? Yeah. And it was called the Berenstain Bears Bee book. And, like, it's it's full of words that start with b. Big brown bear, beautiful

baboon, biking something or other. But like there's a point where where the the baboon and the bear are on a bike and they run into brother Bob's baseball bus. Uh-huh. And I found myself going brother Bob's baseball bus. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. And I couldn't I couldn't figure out where it was from. Like I said, I know this is from somewhere I've not come up with. Yes. Yeah. Anyway, and there's another book I caught myself.

Have you guys heard Arlo Guthrie's Alice's Restaurant? Yeah. Have you heard that, Nathaniel? Yeah. Is that the one that goes, do do do do do do do. No. That's Tom's Diner. Oh, yeah. Same thing. That's where they're throwing Just down the street. The garbage down into the church. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's, like, nineteen minutes long. It's long. It's super long. And and he's telling a story, but, like, Arl it's the Arlo Guthrie sings City of New Orleans. You heard that song? Yeah. Anyway, it's it's a really it's a really long song. It's an epic, but it's a really really long story. Ultimately, like a draft protest.

But anyway, he talks in a really distinct way. Like this. And so you should listen to it, but I've I've noticed I started reading a book like that, and I can't take credit for that either. Is it as long as the Wreck of the Edwin Fitzgerald? Long oh, no. Longer. No. Yeah. Longer. Yeah. I know. I really like the Wreck of the Edwin Fitzgerald. That's good. I wanted Hayes, have you ever have you ever gone up there? What? To see where where the wreck is at? Where is it at? It's in Michigan. No. I've never been to Michigan. Or you can go in Minnesota

to Duluth. It's right to be the other side of the lake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People go to Duluth for fun times, and then sobered when they find out the Eddie Fitzgerald's just right around the bend. Right. I've been there. Wait. Did you look did you look over, Dan? We kinda looked out at the water and thought, woah. That happened out there. But I didn't go to a specific spot. Didn't I wasn't aware of that. Did you listen the song on the way up? We sang it as we walked along the the water. Yeah. Is that where the Duluth Trading Company is from? Yeah. Because I Duluth Miss underpants one time. They were, like, $75.

They're very expensive. Yeah. And I could not just imagine the situation where I felt like, I'm glad I'm wearing these $75 undies. I wanna know where they get all the fire hose to make their pants. You think they buy them off used fire trucks? Well, I mean, how much fire hose could there be? Well Like, they've got a lot of pants. I mean, you work in the industry, Nathaniel. They they probably make them change the fire hoses out every three years. Oh, man. Yeah. Here comes this hobo in a wagon being like, I'll buy them hose. I'll buy them hose again. Yeah. Have you guys seen the new true the newest True Grit?

No. Yeah. Okay. It's really good. Hey. I feel like I'm picking up on all your all your references today. You sniffing my sandwich, brother. You said you had true grit. That sounded like the girl. No. It's anyway, it's it's a remake of the it's Rooster Cogburn. It's it's pretty good. And actually, there's a really cool it's underscored by a bunch of hymns, like instrumental versions of hymns. But

anyway, he runs into this guy who's like a he wanders the woods and he's he's a traitor. And, like, he's offered a there's, like, a guy hanging from a tree who got hung, and he wants to trade out his teeth for, like, a bottle of expector or whatever. Anyway, whatever Tanju said reminded me of that. Okay. Anyway, I'm on a I also I I lost my shorts on that GameStop just for an update. Oh. Oh, no. They yeah. Things aren't going very well. Yeah. Yeah. Was Are you down, Fin? No. No. I'm holding. Oh, okay. I'm holding. I'm already here's the deal. The only the only thing that that I gained by selling is to admit defeat. I'm a hold that thing till I die. That's what that's what most stock traders say is, like, you gotta put your pride first. Yeah. Yeah. And hold on to investments longer than it makes financial sense. Yeah. No. No. What was it that, that one that one analyst, Ken Rogers, he said you gotta know when to hold them. You always hold them. That's what he said. Yeah.

So so how much did you start with? How much do you have invested personally? I'm not never mind. Did your wife listen to this? It's 3 it's 3 figures, dad. I'll tell you that. Oh. I'm in for 3. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's in the hundreds. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I knew it had gone up and you were, like, at a at a good spot, but I didn't know how much you started with. So at least none of my business. Just say shut up, Are you gonna make money on the deal? No. If I sold today, no. No. Because I got I I got in a mix of stuff. I got some low, and then so like I what what was it? At the highest, was at 400. I got some in at like 90. Oh. And so it was in really great shape. And then I got some in at like $3.25 because I got too optimistic. I got I I rode the rainbow and it I'm gonna pay for that. Mhmm. So anyway, I'm a hold on to it. I I don't think it's gonna pan out. But anyway, we'll see how life shakes.

Okay. Alright. You're listening live from the path. That's what we're this is what we're going on today. Let's see. I was I thought there was another hey. So there's always I I noticed this on on a lot of the the Christian news sites is people are always writing about, like, dealing with perfect, like, quotes perfect Christians.

Have you have you guys ever run into someone that you felt like was posturing in that way? No. Like, is this a mythical being? Like, some of some of the church arrogance, is it is it just popular because it's easy to take a target at? Or like, do do do you feel like this is a this is a character we're running into with some normalcy within the church? Doctor doctor perfect. You mean like the person who who is portraying themselves Yeah. They have it all together? Yeah. Yeah. What'd you say that? Like, are you running into it very often, If I do, I I I don't

acknowledge it because I I know it's not true. So I I can't say that I've, you know, run into someone who interacts that way, but there's probably others who would say they do, if that makes sense. Well, I guess that's that's what I'm trying to figure out is that, like, I it's it's a common target, I think. As a matter of fact, a lot of the stuff and so this just comes up with us too, is that, like, we run into common targets. Say the church is acting someone's arguing over the the the proverbial carpet colors. I've actually never hit someone that's done that. Yeah. I've not run into someone acting that way. Like, there it's indicative of something churches can argue about, but I've not I've not really, really run into it. And same thing with, like,

like, the perfect posturing folks. I just I I guess I wish I had in my mind. There was an article that came up, and I was gonna read it. But then I thought, like, I just don't know if this is a real thing. Like, I get worked up about something that's not even happening. Yeah. I mean, people do argue about stupid stuff like that, I guess, but, like, I don't know. Yeah. I yeah. I I wouldn't consider it, like, even in the top 30 things I'm concerned with. So Yeah. I mean, maybe it's just easier to focus on that than, like, why aren't you out evangelizing?

You know? Like, why aren't you sold out for this thing? Because, like, once again, like, this continually shows itself to be continually true. It's like people who who come up with these giant opinion based things are like, whatever. Like, they're they're bored. They're not out doing if they were busy doing something, they wouldn't have time to be upset at this guy that's like, I really I told him not to get those curtains, and I'm tired of those curtains. Like, no one's listening to you, Dave. You know what saying? Calm down. No one's no one cares. And so I I I we were just having this discussion before the show started about giving people power and the way that they they act or the influence that they get to have. And, like, once again, it's like there's so many Christian opinion based blogs and thoughts and whatever. I mean, heck, I guess we're one of them. You know? But, like, if we were literally out doing something right now, we wouldn't have time to sit around talking about whatever this guy said wrong. And so I think that's probably more indicative of the guy that wrote it than the people he's running into. I had a I had a guy once come up to me after church just so angry.

This was probably fifteen years ago that that he was shaking. I mean, he was physically shaking, and his eyes were just on fire. And the issue was we had sung, what is it, Chris Tomlin has the amazing grace. Yeah. My chains are gone? Yeah. That one. And we didn't sing the original Amazing Grace. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and it was like I mean, he was like just so angry that

God's chosen Amazing Grace song wasn't being sung. And I'm like, now you you realize that that was only written, like, couple you know, hundred fifty, two hundred years ago. Right? I mean, that's not scripture. You you understand that. Right? Right? And he's just like he had he had none of it none of it. He was just like, you can't do that. You can't you can't change the songs. It's like, well, actually, we can. And and that was like a bar tune, but Yeah. I mean this is gonna be fine. It just didn't end well, and he never did come back. Well. Yeah. Oh, he was mad. Okay. So, I mean, some of this stuff is happening. Yeah. But I put it weird. They're just individual,

you know, swinging contests, you know, where, like, people are gonna show up and say, hey. Do this. And then you go, no, man. We're good. And then they leave Huffy, and then you go, well, it is what it is. Actually, I mean, that goes actually to to part of the conversation we're having before before the show started. We we were talking about just the notion of being afraid to say true things either because the culture at large is going to think something about you or because it

you're led to believe that it's going to hurt or harm someone. And so, like, how many how many of how many of the the societal positions that you that we'd say are predominant in America are really a result of people actually believing something or and how much of it is a result of being afraid of being on the other side of it? And

or the same things with as we talk about things that are of consequence like how you react to some of the COVID nineteen measures like we just ran into something just with our kids in school and like it just seems like the stuff that they put in place place is beyond the pale. Like, it's not even close to a CDC recommendation. Like, it's borderline

bleach and hazmat suits on your face every twenty minutes. The the way that they've set this up. I feel like they should just cancel. Like, if that's the alternative, like do do record it and then just share it with them. And then, yeah, pass it around. Mhmm. Why but but like like I can't because it's not it's not legit scientific thought, like the only reason that you've got, you know, eight masks on and aerosol on your face and fifteen thirty feet apart, if that's not even the scientific recommendation, and and just so you know, the scientists will give you the long. They'll give always give you the long end. Yeah. The scientists aren't the optimistic type. Right. They're not like it's exactly six feet and they'll tell you. Yeah. They probably think it's two feet and they're like six ought to Yeah. Six. Let's do six because you people can't eyeball six feet anyway. Yeah. So so but but like if it's not even in that realm, like the only reason to be doing this is fear and either fear of an irrational,

at least a little fear of of the the disease itself, of the virus itself or fear of people's reaction that you might not be taking the right level levels of protection even if their reaction is irrational. And so and look, I don't wanna get in the middle of that stuff but like the the point is is that like sometimes, and I I think it's often,

our reactions as a society are in protection of people that either don't require that level of protection or for fear of being perceived as if you don't protect that group of people or people who have that belief.

And there is a I I think there is something charitable about meeting people in their fear, but

there is also something dishonoring by continuing to allow it to persist when you know that it's not right. And and and the same thing is true when it comes to when we're talking kind of about basic truths or how society should work or what God says is good, it is charitable

to meet people where they're at, not like a jerk. But but the there is a journey through that of maturity of which just like God doesn't leave you where you are, the notion of what you know to be true,

also, like, makes sense to to share into the world because I think truth does good. I think it changes things for the good. And we're not doing, if the truth sets people free, then we're not doing a service to the world by by withholding truth. And and the the the problem, the traditional problem that there's been,

within Christianity is, is to treat truth, as if it's a shovel that someone needs to take to the face. And that's missing the heart of God and that's a mistake. But,

it doesn't mean like, when you use when when truth should be a salve, truth is is a healing ointment and you should apply it as such with the gentleness that it would take to approach someone with healing ointment. If you if you run up and throw Ted's utter bomb into someone's eyes and go take that, your life is better, you've made the mistake. And I would say, the, the ointment of truth is is probably along those lines. So anyway, the the whole point being is that like we have to we do have to be careful or mindful that the notion of charity does not extend to unreality and it's not charitable to otherwise avoid saying true things but they do need to reflect kind of ointment levels worth of stuff and I think that's hard. I think these are hard conversations. They're hard conversations about

people's perception of themselves, of their, I don't know, sexuality, of the uniquenesses as of as people, whether it's from their heritage or from their cultural backgrounds or racial backgrounds. There's a lot of things in which we derive identity from and those are all contributors to who we actually are. They're they're they're elements of the story and there's no reason to to deny those. We should celebrate those.

But but, where they become places of which, I'm trying, I can't think of the right way to say this, it's not gonna get me in some trouble or another. When it

otherwise overcommits to what life is is either beyond them or through them, we're not doing a service, I think, to otherwise avoid that type of thing. I mean, this is my whole job. Right? Like, I spend most of my my day reading manuals about all kinds of things. Right? Like like, how how is this thing designed to work? What is it supposed to do? Why is it not doing what it's supposed to do? Right? And and, like, it's never taken poorly. I was just I just talked to a guy this morning at, two in the morning. I was down there watching I was down at a place watching something work, and and he goes, it doesn't work. And I've I ran it through its paces, and I'm like, here's the thing. It's doing exactly what it's supposed to, but here's why I think it's not doing what you think it's supposed to do. So we talked about how the thing was designed, what it's supposed to do, what button goes where, and whatever. And,

at the end of the day, the the fellow ended up knowing a lot more about the thing that he had and the way it was designed and what it was supposed to do, and was getting the the the full benefit and joy out of the out of his piece of equipment, you know, that it's supposed to Yep. Supposed to perform. Right? Like, we are afraid that if we find a guy that says, hey. I wanna turn off the kitchen light, and I show up and find out that he's turning it off by opening the breaker to his entire house. He is accomplishing getting the kitchen light turned off, but, like, it's not how it was designed. Like, we have we have a much better way to have this work and and and and and and to both to your joy and benefit and not cause this destruction on the other side of it. And and we're afraid by telling the guy that he's turning off his whole house that he's going to be offended Because this is what he likes to do, it's accomplishing what he wants it to do, and and really, he sees no problem with it. But at the end of the day, he's missing out on all these other things that he has no idea. Right? And so I I realize that's a complete oversimplification of of of what we're talking about. But, I mean, at the end of the day, what I'm looking at is God's word on how he created a world, a gift that he gave to us, and he goes, this is how this world is designed to work. You can buck the system. I gave you the choices to do that and the freedom to do that. I'm telling you that you're not going to get the full benefit of what it's designed to do. You're not going to get my promises because my promises come with, if you follow the design,

my promises show up and can be and and and you will enjoy the full joy that is available. And so what we're worried about is telling somebody that they're doing it wrong, and it really is a fear based response on our part, and it's driven by pride on theirs. Right? Like, what kind of guy goes I say, look, man. There's a local switch right by your door into your kitchen. Check this out. Click click. Click click. Look at that. The rest of the house is still up and running. And he goes, how dare you? How dare you? I don't come into your place and tell you how to operate your machinery,

so get out. Right? Essentially, that is what we're talking about doing. And we're afraid to tell the guy that the local switch is available, and this is how it was designed. And so, I tell that story for for two reasons. One, to realize how ridiculous we look, that we're afraid on some parts to do that. Because, like, if the guy hates me because I gave him the revelation of the switch by his kitchen, I I mean, what can I say? I was trying to help. I was trying to show this is the way to go about. And then on the other hand, how fooled that the people that you're worried about talking to, you're giving them way too much credence. Right? You know they believed a lie somewhere. They're fooled, and they're swimming in a pool of fools.

Right? And they're fighting with the only bucket of dirty pool water they got, and and we're taking it personally. Like, it's our like, it's our business, and, like, they're coming after us and attacking us directly, and that's not what's happening. They believe to lie somewhere. And you should you should be able to realize that when you see them clocking open the whole house to get the kitchen off. Right? And so I maybe if we if we try to tone down Ben's right. It is charitable to meet people where they're at. I think, obviously, maybe of all people in this room, I am the worst at that. And so I can't really give this advice full steam, but it it's not enough to lose your perspective on what is real and what is right. And, like, allowing someone to swim in a pool of their own filth just because they love it. Right? That doesn't make you a hero. It makes you a a jerk. Yeah. Did did did I tell

did I say that I can't remember if I said this on the show or not about someone I was talking to who said, you know what they should do? This is set up a church that has like a bunch of different speakers and topics you can choose. Did I did I No. Tell that? Not really. I I was talking to someone and they they knew that I was a pastor and they said, you know you know what we think is we think it'd be really cool if like instead of you show up to church and there's like one guy talking and you you know, everyone goes there, is that like you should be able to go into the building and like there's five or six people talking and they kind of publish ahead of time what they're gonna talk about and then you can pick and choose which one you want. Oh, I wanna hear this this one from this guy today, know, and you can go and it. Like a sales conference. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Right? And you can decide what you need. And my immediate reaction was that's the worst freaking thing I've ever heard in my life. Mhmm. Because people traditionally stink at acknowledging what they need. Mhmm. As they would look at the thing and say, oh, here's what I want. I wanna be I think I wanna be a more encouraging person.

And really, the the holy spirit has has put the scriptures down, and today, everyone's gonna get the thing about needing humility. Absolutely everyone's gonna get it because everyone needed it. You wouldn't have said, oh, no. Like, I need the humility check. People people stink at self identifying. And so, like, there is there is something about submitting

to, I think we did talk about this and maybe it was, we're talking about going into a church building. There is something about submitting to teaching that says whatever this person is going to say, I'm open to it and I'm open to the spirit working through my life to change me. It it's it's the same fallibility of curating your own theology by watching only your stuff online or choosing how you fast forward through your pastor.

It's it's that same thing where, you know, just saying this is what I think I need. Unfortunately, you don't know this, but you're not the world's greatest expert on you. You don't always know what you need. And I've had that I mean, this has happened to me plenty of times where I would say, oh, I I need to study this part, and then someone will teach, like, I'll come across the podcast and someone's talking about the Psalms that day. I'm like, oh, you know, I don't know. I'm kinda digging on this area of the scriptures, and then the Psalms knocked me on my behind because of what was going on. And I really needed that, and I never would have chosen it on my own. And there's just a level of humility that says, you know, it can't be that the world is only as true as I perceive.

And that I am in like, is a it is a heightened level of arrogance to look out and say, if I feel it or I think it, it must be right. Like, that is a crash course. And you don't even have to believe in the notion of of of fallen humanity, original sin to recognize it as a rational person. Like, you've got

350,000,000 people in The United States all looking out and if they're running from the same premise that like, if I think it or I feel it, then it must be right. And like, obviously, that can't be true. It's in contention. Like, you've got people who are in contention. Hey, I feel like we should love dogs. You know what? I feel like it's alright to kick dogs. Okay. Now we have a contention. Who sorts out this moral problem? Well, someone who's not either of the two you. I thought there was a legit boogeyman living in the ceiling of my first apartment when I was a kid. It was creepy up there. I made decisions based on that boogeyman. Wow. Right? Like, I wouldn't go near that hole in the ceiling because I thought the boogeyman could only reach out of the hole. He can't come out live in my living room. He belongs in the ceiling. But if I go within his room, he will grab me and do his boogie things. And and I, a 100%, believe this to be true. Fast forward ten years. I thought that I should be able to steal ashtrays

from bars that we were playing in in a band I was in. Mhmm. I thought that made perfect sense. Doesn't everybody take ashtrays? Absolutely, they do. This is fantastic. Now find me twenty years after both those items, and I think those are the stupidest ideas that I could probably ever had. There was never a boogeyman, and stealing is always wrong. And and and so, like, once again, is is deciding that you are the best arbiter at the time because I feel it. It's cool. One, that infringes on just like it's been saying of what other people are feeling. They could very much come to head. Now what do we do? Now do we get a third arbiter that gets to look at both how you both feel and goes, well, I feel that the way you feel is acceptable and you're not. And then you would say, that's just how he feels. That's just how he feels. This guy doesn't get to decide nothing. Right? And second of all, the way that you feel about things change over time. And and as I got older, of course, I start to realize that, like, things that God has said were true the whole time, they were just hard, and I didn't want to do them. You know? And, like, they seemed like they were stealing freedoms from me, and when really they were inviting me to freedoms. That that basically the the the world says, look. Here's all the different ways you can handcuff yourself to this thing. And I'm like, yeah. See? I get to pick my own handcuffs. And God's like, I'm trying to offer you no handcuffs,

and you're choosing handcuffs. Mhmm. That seems ridiculous. And so even if you don't believe in in a deity that is that is running the world, right, and created it and put it into motion, you do have to unless you are a complete arrogant blind fool, you should be able to look out and go, boy, I feel like my instant judgment on things cannot be trusted a 100% of the time. At least you can admit that. Maybe you think that you're ninety nine five. Most of the time, you're pretty spot on. You know, we'll let you carry some of your pride with you. But, like, you there's no possible way you can look back on your entire your entire days and go, boy, I feel like I just rocked it at every turn. I just I'm an amazing specimen. Yeah. And actually, even if you're ninety nine five, like, the presence of a point five is is is some level of of of admission that, like, at its core, everything that pops in your mind can't be trusted. Yeah. You ever made a wrong turn? Yeah. You ever lost your keys?

Right? You ever put the red shirt in with the whites? Yeah. These are the mistakes you make, sir. And so all these things, those big chalkboard of life where you're like nailing it, nailing it, nailing it, you're leaving the sus part out. You're leaving a part of the story out where you act like a complete baboon. Right? And you're acting like, well, that's not a big deal. But when someone else makes the seven colored mistakes, then you're like, that guy can't be trusted. What I feel is right. Yeah. It's not the deal. Yeah. So I mean, I guess so that's the thing though, is that, like and I'm gonna grant that a lot of the a lot of the societal rubs here where it comes to, well, this is what I what I feel, this is what I think, are are complicated things. They feel deeper than than than the conversation that we're just having. Agreed. And and and I don't disagree with that at all. I think there that's why people struggle with them. And it's there's a notion of, like, the way there's a couple ways to make struggles go away

is you can just say, well, I shouldn't struggle with it because it's fine. Or, the other way to solve it, say, I struggle with it, it's not fine, and then you have to go on a path to figuring out how to rectify whatever that is. And I'm not even saying the I'm not struggling with, like, make it okay is even an easy path for a lot of people when especially when it comes to like, you know, sexuality stuff. Like, there's there's those aren't easy paths. But like, part of the I think part of what we're getting at is that we are we are slowly but surely becoming a culture that elevates the notion of

here is what I feel and so it is not only my reality but it is a pervasive reality of which everyone else must bend, of which you should you also must acknowledge. I think we are foolish as a as a society. We we we can certainly acknowledge that you feel that. That's a true thing. But is it act is it real? And to what extent is it real? It's real to you. Let's that's true. There's no reason to argue about that. But to what extent is it true, universally true? Was it real for other people?

And then the question is if we're basing it on things that I either think or feel, am I a trusted arbiter of truth? And I and I think if if if there's a if there's a pause in here, there should be for everybody. And this is true for Christians too. This is true for everybody, whether we're talking about kind of these big ticket items or we're just talking about your day to day stuff. If your gut reaction is to flap your gap or make other people alter behavior based upon what you think or feel, like, you should start with the premise that I am not

a trusted arbiter of the truth of the world a 100% of the time. And secondly, truth cannot be bendable for every person. It it cannot be that the kick puppies guy is is true because and says it's morally okay is the same as the person who says it's never okay to kick a puppy because you can't have two contentious things like that and then both be true because they're both never. They're both firm statements. There's one of the main one of the main things that comes up when you you when people are doing apologetics work around why does why do we allow this or what if I think this way or I don't I don't I don't agree with the bible about this. That's generally the start. And the the one of the main starting points is how do we know what is right or wrong? And if it's what you think or feel and you find yourself contending with someone else, then now we're we're at a we're at a standstill.

Dan Dan says, don't kick the puppies. I'm full in. I think it's totally fine. They're animals. They're not humans. They don't have value. Kick them all you want to. Dan goes, no. It's not right to do that. We're supposed to be stewards of the world and you shouldn't kick the puppy. And now what? Me and both me and Dan both think those things are true. And so it can't be that what I think be codified as truth and what Dan's think can be codified because those two things cannot exist at the same time and be universally true. So I I story short is

we we do have a a framework to understand objective reality, and the scripture can be trusted. We do have the provision of the holy spirit to help us navigate through things of charity and through truth. It does not do us a service to otherwise deal in truth without charity,

but it also doesn't advance good news to omit truth from charity. Because oftentimes, if you omit truth from charity, you're not actually being super charitable. You're you're

you're enabling a a path that is ultimately not other ways not helpful. And again, as arbiters of truth, it's not because we are in and of ourselves perfect perfect truth people. We just we just agree on the source. We just say, well, god's right. Whatever I am, whatever I think, whatever popped into my mind, whatever I felt today,

I do understand and believe that there's an ultimate arbiter truth and that god is right, and all I can do is share that in my fallible human state. And that should change how we approach the conversation. I think I think some from a Christianity perspective, some of us burned bridges, Christians did, by not taking good news out to the world as fallible humans who are saved by grace. We took it out to the world as if it was our our kingdom to conquer, and that we were better than it, and that was a mistake.

But but it should not keep us from otherwise saying true things. Okay. Yeah. Okay, Ben. I know I know. Nathaniel got all jazzed up about it. I couldn't calm him down. Hey. You're listening to live from the past. Here's get jazzed in here again if that's what's gonna happen. Here's what I did is is the last time I was we were in here, I said, hey, send your send your impressions.

Send us your impressions on the life from the Path of Complaintland. And we got a few. Okay? So we're gonna play them. And I don't I I can't turn it up super loud in the room and you guys aren't wearing headphones, so you can see if you can pick them up. But here, here's impression. Let's see if I can get to oh, shoot. I should've I should've had these set up from Ready to Rock. Here's impression number one.

Did you get it? Nobody heard it. No. Be faithful in the means. God will handle the end. Okay.

Any guesses on any guesses on impression number one, and I'm it's a beatboxer. Yeah. I'm not gonna give it to Mike. I don't think you can guess. Oh. Oh. It's a beatboxer. It's not a beatboxer. I I think it's Beavis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Beavis. Who's Beavis? Friend of Butthead. What? Dan. Dan,

with with the medieval introduction, I am Beavis, friend of Butthead. Hey, man. I I was just thinking about that earlier when I thought, you know, people were like, man, I don't know what this country has turned into thirty years ago. I'm like, thirty years ago, there was a show called Beavis and Butthead, and it dominated the airways, and we're going back to to better times? Yeah. I mean, the glory days have not yet reached its peak. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So that that's the guess number one is Beavis and Butthead. Mike, what do you think? I think it's Butthead. Okay. Okay.

Alright. Mike says, okay. That's it. Alright. Ready? Next one. Here we go. Christful man. God will handle the end.

A blinking. Okay. Hold on. I might have to take it in again. Maybe let me let's try it again. Be first full memorial. God will handle the end.

That's dead on. I mean, it's not jump it's not jumping out at me directly. Like, I I'm with you. I think it's a politician. Is it Boris Yeltsin? I don't think it's Boris Yeltsin. It might be Boris Yeltsin. I would I would more circle my wagons around

a movie character. Okay. Hold on. I'm gonna do it one more time. Be faithful, miss. God will handle

the end. The guy from Slingblade. Slingblade. That's a child, Nathaniel.

It's a child doing an impression. Think of a children's type movie, not Sling Blade. I've not seen Sling Blade. Is it nefarious? It's called Sling Blade. I don't get those channels, Nathaniel. French fried potatoes. Yeah. That's not what it sounded like. Okay. Children's type movie.

I I'm I'm final answer, I'm in for Hunchback in Notre Dame, Dan. I'm I'm going the wicked witch of the East. Okay. Finding Nemo. Finding Nemo? Yeah. That's not wait. Are you choosing Nemo? That was the polar opposite of a sling blade. Yes. He can only think of one too. That's true. You said children's movie. I had tunnel vision. I'm pretty sure that I'm taking it in right, and it's Snape from Harry Potter. Oh. Oh. Is that a children's movie? I mean, kinda. Yeah. It's both. I mean, kids watch it? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Alright. Okay. Kids watch Sling Blade at your play

I mean, I don't even watch Sling Blade. I've seen, like, half of it. It's too long. I don't have the attention span for this. Okay. It's like a three hour movie. I don't get to I don't get to those channels. Alright. Number last one. Last one. Here we go. He first moved me, and god will humble me in. Okay. That sounds like Mickey Mouse. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mickey Mouse for sure. Minnie Max.

Who? I don't know. I was just trying name another movie. Max Max Hedren. Max Hedren. P p p for pork. Yeah. From the back to the future movie? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do hate I do speaking of which, I do a Boris Yeltsin. Who? Do you wanna hear it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ready? I drove Kiev for my family. That's not a dick like If Boris Yeltsin were a cab driver, I drove Kiev for my family.

He's a destitute cab driver. Play that play that Mickey Mouse one more time. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. There we go. Here comes here comes uh-oh. Mickey Mouse. Be merciful to me, and god will humble in. I think that's that's pretty good. Yeah. I think that's that's definitely good. That works. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Alright. So, yeah, hey. We nailed those. Hey. Do you have do you have an impression if and not a resident of Mike's household? Hey.

Now hold on. What if I tell me who's this. Ready? Yep. Be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. Woah. That's goofy. Yeah. All you have to do is make his signature at the end, and then the first part of the impression doesn't matter. Yeah. It could be me doing a goofy impression. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'll I'll be I'll be fearful. Good god. I drove care for my family. I used to work with a Russian guy, and

he would always say, it is what I'm telling you. It is what I'm telling you. I'd installed some MRI machines with these two dudes from Germany, and they only dug on extremely thrash metal German music. And it was the best two days of my life. I mean, they were just I haven't had it. They they we carried parts across the OR Room just slamming their head up and down. There's nothing but hair in Germany. German borders everywhere, and it was awesome. I was sad when they left. It is what I'm telling you. It what I'm telling He he used to live in the in the Russia during the what's that called? With the with the nuclear power plant. Grenoble. Grenoble. Yeah. Yeah. And he said he was on a on a kayak trip during that,

and it blew up. And he didn't know that it blew up because, you know, the government secrets and stuff and the and the people are just like, hey. Don't get in the water and don't drink it. And he got in the water and he drank it. And he was only 40 miles away. Oh, that's bad. Yeah. That's bold. Hey. Speaking of Russians and kayaks, I was out driving a couple days ago, and it's cold it's been cold. It's been cold, like, in the single digits or whatever. And I got behind I live kind of out in the country, and I got behind the guy who had, no joke, a kayak on the top of his black truck or whatever. In Iowa. Yeah. In January. Yeah. Yeah. It was odd. It was odd. So, anyway, I behind him, and I was afraid it was gonna come off because it was a bit breezy or whatever. And sure enough, I got about a mile down the road, we weren't quite to the main drag yet, and the kayak fell off of his truck and I was like, glad I was had hung back. So I pulled over to the side and I helped him. It made its way all the way down the

the crevasse, the the ravine, the The Borrowed Ditch. Yeah. So we go down there and I helped him pick it up or whatever and like it was a weird the kayak was weird. It was like an old. It looked like it was 60 years old or something and but it had Russian riding on the side. And I said, hey, man. This is kinda neat. It's like is there a story behind this kayak? I said, what's with the what's with the writing? Is it Russian? Because I want I felt like he was gonna appreciate that I look cultured because I could pick out Russian writing. And he kinda he kinda stared at me, like, dead in the eyes and said, this is this was my dad's canoe. And he did not have any sense of a Russian accent or anything. And I said, oh, well, that's interesting. Like, it was cold. I was trying to keep it moving, but I wanted to seem interested. I said, well, just I mean, can you tell me anything about is it a Russian canoe or whatever? And he said he pointed at the words and it says,

follow me to freedom. That's what the Russian meant. And I said, wow. I mean, that's kind of interesting or whatever. And he said then he looked at me and he said, I want you to do the same. I said, what do you mean? You want me to do the same? He says, follow me to freedom. I'm like, I don't I don't understand at all what this means. And he says, get in your truck and I want you to follow me. I said, why? Why would I do this? Now this went weird. Right? I was trying to help a guy. It went weird. And he looked at me. He kinda looked two sides to this side and he leaned into Whisper and he goes, the pope is in town. I said, to what?

He said, the pope. The pope is in town. I said, what does this have anything to do with his kayak? His eyes are sparkling. He is? So anyway, what he meant was

he was on his way. He so so the reason he had this, he was gonna gift this kayak to the pope because he heard the pope was in town. And like his dad became a Catholic during some some very rough times in Russia. And like him him and his young family had escaped across this river or whatever over into a territory where like just outside of Russia. And he had pain hand painted this this Russian stuff on the side that said, follow me to freedom. And but it meant two things. He was seeking, like, political asylum, but he also was trying to lead people to Jesus. And he, like, had wanted to go see the pope and thank him for the the church's influence on his dad's life, and he was gonna try to give him this kayak. And so, anyway, I said, look. There's no way the pope's in town. Like, there's no way. I don't know why where this came from. So he says, follow me to freedom. And I said, alright. I'm gonna do it. So I followed him. And I'll be dug on it. If he doesn't end up in Bondurant he he was in Bondurant, Iowa. And he pulls up to this house that I reckon like, I used to live at this place. I said, I know the pope don't live there. I've been to this place. And there are throngs of people sitting outside.

And I went in because Nathaniel lives there. And I said, hey, man. I don't know what happened, but this some there's a guy outside with a Russian kayak, and all these people think the pope is in town. You think you're the pope. And the only way that this has happened to me before, to be honest, in Bondurant. And the only way to get him out of here is you gotta do gotta do something. You gotta act like the pope. You gotta get them off your lawn and give them some sort of advice or whatever like they're looking for. And so I I said, Nathaniel, what are you gonna tell them? And and this is what he said. I said, thank you for the canoe.

It's a it's a kayak. Oh, I thought you'd be a kayak. You training bra? I amended that. I was gonna what was my mind was boob, then I said, you can't you shouldn't say that. And then I this is far away from it. Like, yeah. Fantastic alternative, Ben. I nailed it again. I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people. Anyway, go ahead.

Yeah. So I was recently not recently. Semi recently. Like a month ago. Okay. I was reading I wasn't reading because I don't read. I mean, this story is gonna be ten years. I I tell long stories. You gotta cut it down. My my bad. I was listening to the bible on the on the audio, and it was in Exodus. And it came to this portion where

Moses come down off the mountain and the Israelites are are freestyling it. And he's real super upset. And he says, Aaron, you know what? What what happened here? What did the people do to you to make you make this golden calf for them? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did they threaten you with? And he says, well, I, you know, I asked them for the gold and I threw it in the fire and out came this calf. And the calf jumped out. What can I say? I laughed out loud.

And because that's a lame excuse. And my kids were looking at me and they said, what's so funny? I said, the the bible. The bible's funny. He goes, that's a lame, lame excuse. But then, I kinda ruminated. I simmered and I percolated. And I said,

what lame excuses do I have? Like, dude, is is it really okay for me to say bad things about my boss because I don't like his decisions on things? Yeah. I think that's great. Yeah. That's a that's a this calf jumped out of that fire. Yeah. That's right. I put it in there. This is what came out. Yeah.

And that's all I have. So get off my lawn. Stop it. Think about that. Yeah. Ruminate. Ruminate. Yeah. Boy, I mean, that's terse. The pope ain't messing around. I mean, here's the thing is the pope has wasted a lot of a lot of time and energy on this flowery language just to try to coddle pee pee in. And and and Nathaniel goes, look, man. You said pee pee. I can't say training, brawl? People not pee pee. Okay. It's

it's going downhill. What if I put it in the fire, and now came pee pee. Yeah. That's what I can do. So now wait a minute. Is that the only example you came up with in your life where you could possibly be up with more. But I figured why lengthen the story? Like, you get the example from the one. Right? Actually, as as you were saying that, I I had a couple piling up where I'm like I looked to the Lord and I say, I I don't know what happened here. And then I thought, yeah, dude. Yeah. I know what happened. It's a lame excuse. Yeah. I came by I I put I put all the raw materials

in for this thing to happen. And then I looked at the Lord and the thing happened. I said, I I don't know what occurred, Lord Jesus. I've been thinking I've been thinking ill of this man for a very long time. I've not been actively praying for him. And oh, out came my negativity towards him. Yes. Yes. That is a natural consequence of what happened. Hey. I've not been spending as much time nurturing a relationship with my wife. I haven't been praying for her directly and often. And what do you know? Our relationship needed a lift or something. Out came this calf? Out came this calf. Lord, I don't I didn't even know what happened. You know?

Yeah. Boy, that's true. I wonder how often we are guilty of going, don't know what happened, Lord. And god goes, what do you mean you don't know what happened? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You do. Yeah. You do. Yeah. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because they did a lot of weird and odd stuff up to right to the point of which they were willing to consider it bad. Yeah. And plus, they're probably only telling half the story. They probably did a couple shady things in there that they left out. I'm like, I can't believe this happened to me. Yeah. You can. You know exactly what caused it. Here's the thing. It's like, I had this conversation with somebody earlier this week. It's like, let's say that there's a there's a benchmark that we're going for, or even call it a rule, which people hate. Right? And you broke the rule on accident.

Not defiant, not not set out to break it, but you broke it. Yeah. The the rule still got broken. You're still in the wrong. You owe an apology, and you need to make amends for it. And, like, the wrong the wrong thought this is this is the standard thought. It's like, look, I didn't intend for this to happen. Yeah. But you didn't intend for it not to happen. You didn't put anything in place to make sure it wasn't gonna happen. Mhmm. It's not one of these things that like, I don't know how many times I've talked with fellas where they're like, they they they've they've done done something again. They're shaming themselves. They're like, I don't know what happened. I was doing so good. And then and then it just this just showed up. And we're like, what do you mean it just showed up? You got a smartphone? Yeah. Well, what were you thinking? You know you can't be trusted with that thing. Right. Did you leave yourself by yourself at home when everyone else was gone, your whole family? Yeah. Well, could you have gone with them? Yeah. Well, I don't know what to tell you. You know exactly how this happened. Acting all innocent here like you had no idea what was gonna go on. You knew exactly what was gonna happen. You

know? And so, like, that's true. I don't know what happened, Lord. Out popped this golden calf. That is probably most people with their sinful actions. They're like, look. I didn't mean to. It's not like I woke up this morning, I'm like, I intend to offend the god of the universe. But what you didn't do is say, god, how can I honor you today? Can you can you help me honor you? Help me to figure out where I'm gonna screw that up and where I can replace my shame with your honor, and we'll just skip this whole thing where I gotta I gotta be all terrible again because I hate it. I don't wanna do it no more. You didn't do that. I can guarantee that. And so, like, well, that golden calf example's a pretty darn good one. Also, I started praying on it. I I said, you know, need I need the lord's help to show me where my where my outcame this calf is. Yeah. Where where where are my excuses? Lord, show me. Because, you know, like we were talking about earlier, you're not always great at, like, looking at yourself and telling yourself what you need. So you gotta have the holy spirit do it. Yeah. You feel like the holy spirit has been helpful in this Yeah. Yeah. Like that that the fur the boss one. That was the first one that came to my mind. I was like, oh, I gotta Yeah. I like this golden calf, though. I yeah. I I hate I hate what you had to say. Thanks. Yeah.

Yeah. I I do that all the time. I stick a little glass baking dish on the counter and come by a little later and throw a little chocolate stuff in there and crack a couple eggs. Little oil in there. Come back a little later. Another little milk. Turn the oven on.

Come back about an hour later after I let it sit for a while and throw it back in the oven. And, I don't know, fifteen minutes later, a cake. I don't know. Who made this cake? I don't know. Where did this cake come from? How did this happen? This is ridiculous. I think I'll have it. Yeah. I mean, it's here. I mean, god wants me to have this cake. Looks delicious. Might as well worship it and say it brought us out of Egypt. I had no idea how this happened. And then a calf came out. Boy, that's that's classic. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Hate it. I mean, I hate it. You know, I I it's it's interesting. Like like every once in a while, I'm sure there are things where, like, boy, this is totally out of left field, but think mean, I it's gotta be like 90% of the time that it's not it's not out of left field. Like, it's repeatable. It's it's something that could have been stopped. It's something that could have been avoided. And we act like it's actually, it it it reorients the

it reorients the nature of it. It happened to us. Hey. What happened what happened to you, Aaron? This calf came out. Yeah. Like, as if it happened to him and he contributed nothing to it. Hey. My marriage is in shambles. Well, no doubt. Tell me about it. And then you someone talks for like half an hour and you're like, yeah. Yeah. No. I could see that. I see exactly how you got to this marriage in shambles business. Yeah. Yeah. I mean and your wife contributed to it as well. Yeah. Great. Yeah. I could see that. Like, we just we just totally shake off responsibilities if the world is happening. When really, like, we're we're we're tossing ingredients into the brownie pan, surprised that it's put some extra pounds on your left butt cheek. Like, I just don't know. I don't understand how it's the opposite though of what most people think a Christian life is. Right? Like, we talk about a a life of humility and submission,

and it makes it seem like humility and submission equals inaction and not being in control of anything. Right. Right? Like, what it is is is is let's just change the word control out for responsibility. Let's let's say that you walk humbly, submitting to Christ, and you take responsibility for your actions.

Not only the the the preparation of your actions, the situations you know that you cannot be in or shouldn't be in or probably should stay away from, the things that are gonna cause you trouble. And when you see like, if there's three main ingredients to a golden calf coming diverge in your area, and you start letting them come in the door, that's you did this. Yeah. You created this problem. Right? When you see three diverging on the door and you don't go, I guess we're not going in that room. But all there is is just this one ingredient for golden calfs. It's like, ah, that's too many. I don't need one. That's the that means I'm one third of the way causing myself some destruction. I'm a turn around if we go do something else. Right? That's taking responsibility for your actions, opposed to saying that, like, I'm gonna control them, because that sounds like you're taking control away from God, and obviously, it's not what we're after. Right? But you do you are completely responsible for the actions that you did take, didn't take, didn't prepare for. Right? You've seen the way things work. It's not like you see the the rain outside and bust out there and without a rain jacket on and go, I can't believe I got wet. Right. Ridiculous. Like, you know all the things that trip you up. You specifically. You know the things that trip you up. And like, if you still wait in that pool or see how far you can get close to a line before you fall in, look, there's no excuse for you, friend. Yeah. You did this to yourself. You shouldn't even been anywhere near the pool. You might not ever be able to swim again, if we're following the metaphor. Or even, like, sometimes it's even it's even proactive stuff. It's like you know that if you go if you don't keep good habits of of of scripture reading or you don't you don't you're not associated with the rhythms of a of a Christian community, you're not showing up to church,

you're not meeting with anybody, like you know when you're not praying consistently, you know those things open you up to temptations that otherwise don't show up when you're doing them. Then, yeah, then you then you the the calf came out, but like you didn't take any steps to not to to not throw gold in. And like it's that kind of stuff where like it's both. It's it's omission, it's commission, it's it's both of those things. And like our our level of surprise well actually, so like so we did

like I said, we were filling out the the prayer board. Like for every week, like we sit down as a family and we're like what do we what do we wanna pray on as a family? And and generally, someone will say, well, I I need this I need my family to pray for me about this this week. And, like, mine for this week was using my time intentionally. Like, I look back at my previous week and I and and, like, my my life just kinda carried me. I ended up on my like, I might have been on my phone or I might have been sitting on the couch and I might have been like, all kinds of other things, none of which are like implicitly wrong or anything, but like, I didn't live my last week with intention. My time passed,

but I didn't have anything specific of which I intended to use it for. And like, it seeded control over of of my life and what I was choosing to do at any given moment to whatever my device led me. Oh, oh, it it made a ding. I'm gonna go look at this email right now. I I didn't have control over it. And a few other things that kinda just did that and I thought like, I don't like that. I don't I I don't like not only do I have plenty to do anyway that I could be doing, but like, I just I didn't it doesn't I didn't give I gave my life control over just something that wasn't me doing things intentionally and it felt wrong. It felt bad.

And and that that there are peripheral things to that. I didn't spend I was I'm intending to read scripture every day. I think I hit, like, three days out of seven. Well, four. But, like, that isn't one my what I intended. And what I didn't intend carried away the times in which I could be doing those things. And so, like, I legitimately need my family to pray on that. And as they're praying on it, they're gonna see when I'm using my time unintentionally, and they're probably gonna mention it as I would want them to because I don't want I don't want to miss out on those things. I don't want to get to the end of the week and have a golden calf pop out and me go, I had no I don't know. I had no idea. Don't know where they came from. That's right. That's right. I might as well have everyone else looking out and say, hey, man. Are you walking towards that fire with your gold? Because you shouldn't do that. This is a mistake. Or, like, I'm just wand I'm leisurely jumping off gold as I walk by. Either way, I would want someone to stop me or to recognize that like, hey, man. I don't wanna be anywhere near this. I'm not gonna put the gold in my hand. I don't even need to walk by the fire. And these people look like they're up to no good, so I'm gonna stay away from that. Yeah. And and it's it's just living your life with some level of intention that goes, like, I'm accountable to this. I can recognize the problem what's in front of me. I can recognize steps that I should take to keep me out of problems.

And like this surprise is unfounded. It's it's totally unfounded and I have a level of responsibility which actually isn't even all that difficult that I just need to I just need to take up. Yeah. I like that both of us. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh, hey. I was if I if I ever get this mobile app off the ground, there should be an element of it that has a golden calf jump out.

Like hey, actually, that'd be kind of a fun game is you can pick you can pick through, I don't know, 50 elements and you put them together and and see whether a golden calf jumps out or not. I'm not talking to I've taken you in. I know you're excited. I can tell by that twitching and bitter. This is you. Look at you. You got you got a sketch of a calf. And you're saying, hey, Mike. You have any gold available? And you're trying to get suck me in. No. That's the sound it makes when the calf jumps out and you go, oh,

I contributed to a golden calf. Oh, shoot. But then sometimes you don't. Sometimes no calf is there and you go, oh, I must be alright. But it'll be real obvious. Like, take food to old ladies. Don't stay in my house by myself when tempted to pornography. And you put those two together and it goes, no calf. No calf.

You're safe, friend. Know. That's when you get it wrong. Take food to old ladies. Hang out by myself when tempted with pornography. Calf. Calf. Yeah. Yeah. You ready? Okay. You ready for some advice? Yeah. No. Let's let's give it. This show can can be redeemed. Dear life from the path.

My husband died eleven months ago, and I thought I was ready to date. I dated a guy I'll call Ken for six months, but things went south because it felt weird. My question is, is it normal for a 57 year old man to still be living with his mom? Ken's mom said bad things in front of me. She told her son that if he's going to have sex with me, he might as well live with me. We didn't do that. Another time, she didn't want me to wear shorts, hold Ken's hand, or even sit with him at their house. Why? Do I need help? What?

Know you don't need help. I think he does, and so does his mom. Yeah. I mean He said she said still lives with his mom. Does that mean he never moved out, or he is back with his mom? No. I thought it sounds like he never moved out. Oh, yeah. He okay. Hold on. It would I gotta set it right. Said to do it again. Read the whole thing again. My husband I doubt I've landed on it. My husband died eleven months ago, and I thought I was ready to date. Okay. I dated a guy I'll call Ken Mhmm. For six months, but things went south because it felt weird. My question is this is question one. Is it normal for a 57 year old man to still be living with his mama? Yes. Okay.

Ken's mom said bad things in front of me. You said bad things? She told her son that if he's going to have sex with me, he might as well live with me. Never did have sex. Another time, she didn't want me to wear shorts, hold Ken's hand, or even sit with him at their house. Okay. Why? Mean, she didn't have dementia. She said her almost 80. Yeah. Is that the end? That was it? Yeah. That's the whole thing.

Or it could be I know a mom who did that once with her child who was an adult, and it turns out she was really the one with the issues, and she was projecting that onto him.

Oh, interesting. Okay. Oh, so so I guess advice, you should just wash your hands of this whole thing. Yeah. This is not your problem. There people to this? I feel like you just wanna you just wanna vent. I think you should call one of your friends and be like, can you believe this ridiculousness? I'm so glad I dodged this bullet. Yeah. I think that's what you wanna do here.

And and if you really, really, really like this guy, get to know his mom a little better. Find out what what really what is her health and what is I mean, it's only been a few months, and there there's a lot to learn about this guy. Yeah. You've only known him six months. And and second of all, once again, we've talked about this. If we've talked about it once, it's a thousand times.

The the person whose family is causing the trouble, it's their job to handle that family. It's not for you to, like, jump the aisle. And, like, I mean, you could try to make it better if you want to, but, like, if Ken's mom says things like, you can't wear shorts in here, it's Ken's job to go, mama, you're gonna wear the shorts in here. Because I live here, and I invited the woman over, and it's okay if she wears shorts. That's Ken's battle to fight. And if he doesn't wanna fight it, then there's no place for you here. This is weird. The whole thing's weird, Ben. I'm say yeah. I'm I'm I'm sticking with you. I I would just walk away on this thing. Yeah. The advice is you dodged a bullet here. I mean, it I've I could be wrong, and I don't wanna overprescribe given how old you are. But, like, maybe this is just a project not worth taking on. Yeah. I mean, you're coming off you're coming off a

marriage, recently deceased, like, you're a recent widower, and this may just not be in the time to to to to go on a Jerry Springer show. Yeah. I'm say I'm saying it's just it's okay to leave. I would just leave and let it go. And don't wonder about it. No reason to sort it out. It's not your thing to sort out. Just walk you can walk away. Yeah. You want the answers to deep questions that aren't gonna come. Yeah. I mean, they they say you should never make really big decisions for at least up to a year after a spouse dies. Yeah. And it looks like about five months in, you started dating this guy. So

because now, what, it's eleven months. Right? Yeah. Did she wait eleven months and then it's been six months since then or did she just wait like five That's unclear. Either way. Yeah. It's too it was kinda You know, I don't know, Dan. Have you noticed, like, I feel like people who are married especially for a long time, they tend to get remarried super quick. Usually the dudes do. Yeah. It's amazing, shocking

how how quickly. Yeah. And is it in your I'm like, I mean, this is a broad brush, but, like, I've not I've seen it not go well quite a few times. Yeah. Jumped in quickly. Yeah. They they just needed a companion of some sort or they couldn't make eggs or something. I don't know what it was, but I always think, dude, what what what? What are you doing? And the children are going, what are you doing? Yeah. Right. What why? Why are you acting this way? Mom's not room temperature yet. Thought of a 60 year old man looking at looking at a dozen eggs on his counter and go I don't know. What do you want from me?

Actually, I had this weird deal last week where my family was gone, they were out of the house for, like, six hours, and I I kept going. Work upstairs in my bedroom. I come downstairs, and, the places, you know, there's no sound or anything going on. I thought, this is what it would be like to live in this house without my family. And then I just had this premedition that if somehow something were to happen to them, like, I legit would be in that same house forty years later and nothing would have moved. Like, I probably wouldn't even have picked up the books in the hall. I probably I would never clean out the bedroom, like, of the kids' bedrooms or whatever. I never would have redecorated, repainted. I probably wouldn't. I probably would just leave it be, and it would stay there. And it didn't give me a feeling one way or the another. I just thought I'm someone could come in here, it would be a time capsule. Not hopefully in a creepy way, like, I can't get over my family dying, but, like, it's just I just wouldn't touch it. I just don't know that I would find any motivation to do anything about it. Mhmm. And I but and I certainly I don't think I'd want some other lady coming in and going, you know, we should change the drapes. I'm like, nah. Leave the drapes. Yeah. I love those drapes. My best wife picked those out. Yeah. Number one. I refer to them like presidents. Number one. You're number two. Yeah. Back off, Fillmore. We're keeping those. I I don't like, maybe fellas, and I know this this don't seem right coming to a dude who ain't crossed 40 yet, but like, know, put the holds on it. Give yourself some time. This is true for any relationship, even non widowed. Like, you got out of a relationship.

Like, I mean, give it some give it some time and and find some friends, fellas. Like, it's alright to have a man friend. Maybe like a good group of them. And that, like, it's alright to say, look, to keep me from dating a Jezebel, we need to go out to breakfast three times a week. I get around to someone will show up Yeah. With buying hash browns in the morning. Someone will do it. But, like, just don't you know, you don't gotta crawl in to fill the gap. Secular says, a single man living with his mama is unusual, but not necessarily abnormal.

Ken's mama mama's behavior, however, was not normal or acceptable. The extent to which the man's mother controls his dating life is over the top. Apparently, she perceives you as a threat, she doesn't want to, quote, lose her 57 year old son. You don't need help. She does. And so does Ken, who appears to be your hostage. The tie that binds him to to her may be emotional or financial, or these apron strings would have been severed decades ago. So what was the advice? You don't need any help. They need help. Yeah. That you go say that. Yeah. I don't need no help. You can help. Ken, bring your mom under the door. Yeah. I got something to say. Wait. Wait. What what what did the Russians say?

It is what I'm telling you. Yeah. Yeah. I can't do it. It drift key from me. Tight screw. Alright. Here we go. Wait. Do you think she was implying that she should go say that to Kim?

Oh. Yeah. Or she just said like, because that's not I think Nancy's washing her hands of it. Okay. We don't care about that. I'm just saying that's not really good advice. I got two more to get through, and you can't be pontificating for ten minutes. I have a thought. Okay. No. Go ahead. Number two, dear life from the path. My friend and I are planning a road trip. Okay. We live in different parts of the country, so he'll be flying to my city where we will start the trip. We plan to split the cost of car rental, gas, and hotels. However, I was assuming that he would pay his own airfare, and he and he was assuming that we would split it like everything else. What's normal in situations like this? Is it normal to pay one's own airfare and expect costs to even out in the future when the other person flies to you, or is it normal to split the cost each time? The road trip isn't at risk because of this, but I want to set the right precedent for future vacations we take together. Hey. You sound like a real wet blanket.

I'll tell you what. Yeah. I mean, that is tough. They're in Iowa. Both of them? Well, the other one's obviously flying in from the coast. Yeah. I mean, if you're doing a joint trip, I it does seem and you're splitting everything else. I'm not sure it's outlandish to to split the the airfare

unless you know that you're gonna do it consistently, and it'll it'll shake itself out. Yeah. But that's I mean, that's future plans that haven't been made. I mean, if you split it down the middle right now, then it will always shake itself out for the rest of your days. Yeah. May maybe you should start at a neutral location so you both have to travel. They yeah. They that's right. Double the costs Yeah. To avoid this problem. Yeah. I mean, what's a flight from New York to Des Moines? It's probably you gotta get a layover in Omaha or Minneapolis. $7.50. $7.51 way? It cost me $7.50 to go to Minneapolis. What? That's ridiculous. I know. I mean, I didn't pay it. That was my work was paying for that stuff. But, like, I've I've booked a car most of the time because I can drive there and back in a for a couple hundred bucks, and they want $7.50. It only costs, like, $4.50 for Megan to go to Connecticut. I know. It's outrageous. Alright. Well, let's let's let's split the diff and put it at 600.

Okay. Okay? So, I mean, it's 300 to do? That don't seem that bad. You seem like two swinging fellas. Like, you you don't got families. You're just kinda getting on a road trip, tearing it up. Yeah. I mean, I I I don't know. Like, it's there's no reason for it to be at a point of contention. It does seem like like, again, if you're gonna continue to do it, it probably just makes sense to, look. We'll just split the whole thing down the middle. Worries. More sense to Dutch treat this thing. I mean, do you I mean Well, they're gonna still gonna share a hotel room, maybe. Well, fine. Pick a hotel room, and you could split that. But, like, what if one guy's like, hey, man. I wanna eat at the fanciest restaurant in town. The other guy's like, I wanna eat at the grease pit. You know? Oh, you now I gotta split a bill with fancy man just because he insists on going to some steakhouse every night? No. Yeah. I would Dutch treat it. Yeah. I would agree with that. Like, you're gonna buy enough gas. Hey. Look. I'll take tank. You're

You're tank. Yeah. Like, you could do that. Yeah. But I but the the the air thing is probably a big expense up front. I so here I here's what I would say. I don't think it's beyond the pale for you to pay for your own because he's gotta pay for his own flight. However, you know, I I it's not completely outlandish for you to offer to cover half it. Say, I know you're coming to me this time. I'll cover half. When you fly to me next time, you know, you can I wonder if they're flying home? Right? Like, it's let's say the dude's in the originale

is in Iowa, and then fancy man's on the East Coast. He he he scours in from New York to Iowa, and then they road trip to where? Where's the end point? Are they both flying back home after that? Oh, yeah. Because the guy that's flying out of Des Moines is gonna pay higher prices because there's one airport there, and you almost certainly have to lay over somewhere else to get there. So Unless you're on Allegiant. You can go to a $100 to Florida. Yeah. If you're road tripping to Florida, but the guy's gonna fly from New York to Iowa and then road trip to Florida? You made you made that New York part up? No. He's he's on the coast differently. Hold on. I'll tell you. You can tell by the accent. We live in different parts of the country. Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming from Hawaii City. Yeah. So if this guy lives in Iowa, the different part of the country is New York, obviously. It's Tampa, Saint Petersburg. No. Then they're gonna road trip back to where the man lives? That don't make no sense. Anyway, I I don't think this is a big deal either way. I you know, you wanna make this thing smooth like butter, offer to pay for half.

You want a potential stuff going on over and above it. Like, maybe he won't make it a big deal, but I I don't know. It seems reasonable for you to split it to me. I know. You sound like a worrywart in a wet blanket. You're gonna ruin this trip already. I think the big thing is he they should be asking each other, not us. Yeah. Because, like, they're the ones doing this arrangement. I would take all this worry and use it to buy a full box of almond full size Almond Joys. Yeah. And instead of bringing this kinda anxiety ridden business to his desk, you go, look, man. I bought a full box of Almond Joys, so we're gonna tear this up. Yeah. I got some Johnny Walker and some Almond Joys. Yeah. Some twin beans. Let's go out on a Some Dotts pretzels. We're not even gonna stop. We're road tripping. Yeah. Yeah. I'll cover yeah. Or shake it out with the snacks. You're flying all covered. Like, don't know. There's a way to do this. There's millions of ways to do this. Yeah. Don't I wouldn't bring this type of attitude on this road trip. I hear actually, here's what I would say. If you're not if you're if you're not comfortable asking this person this question, I don't think you should get in a car with him for extended amount of time. No. Right. It's gonna come up. Yeah. Yeah. Not in that jet. Yeah. Doesn't hurt to say, hey. How should we do this? Are we gonna do this in in the future? I mean, let's just figure out. Yeah. Here's the thing, One of them gonna get married next year out of the blue and then have a baby, and they're like, oh, man. Can't do our annual road trip no more. And they're gonna gonna get stiff. Yep. They're gonna write in and say, Greg and I usually, you know, we we do these onesie twosies, but then Greg married a wife, and his his Jezebel soaked him up. Yeah. Now he can't go on a road trip, and I got Dots, pretzels, and Almond Joys and over to hang with, and I'm out $300. And I'm gonna marry a lady super quick cause I can't be alone. Yep. That's right. Don't do it. Here we go. Segular says, this is something you need to discuss further with your friend. Do you consider his getting there a part of your shared vacation, or do you feel your responsibility begins when he arrives? There are no hard and fast rules about this, and frankly, I think it depends upon your financial situations. Okay. Lame.

Yeah. I mean, I guess the point though one of the point is is that I don't think this is a point of etiquette or technicality. Do do whatever your relationship can bear. Here we go. Last one. Yep. Dear life on the path. My husband passed away unexpectedly.

It was and is a tremendous loss to my two daughters and to me. While writing my thank you cards to individuals who attended his viewing and church service, I noticed someone had written Mick Jagger as attending his viewing and Rod Stewart as attending his church service. I was floored and deeply hurt when I realized the handwriting belonged to one of our pallbearers, my husband's sister's husband. Our teenage daughters also saw it and told me they thought it was disrespectful. I don't know if I should tell my sister-in-law or let it go. I want to ask him why he would do such a thing, or am I overreacting? You're overreacting.

You know mean? Yeah. I mean, obviously Mick Jagger wasn't there. I think the band's lacking a little bit of class. Here's the thing. A dad It depends on who it was. If one of you guys did that at my funeral, I would I would expect no one to have a problem about it. I would say that maybe, but what if I died tomorrow? I that I'm leaving two, like, teenage daughters. It's not like I passed away when I was 75. You know, I died unexpectedly. It's a little bit more of a impact

than it would be Yeah. Yeah. Now you I'm definitely writing Mick Jagger in your book. I gotta put it in my Evernote so I don't forget far as the sister in law's husband goes, you might be a little far removed for your comedy hour.

Yeah. I mean, it depends how close you are. They could be close. I mean, they were paw bears. Now, actually, I guess here is the question. That'd be kinda close. Yeah. That's true. But, like, the the question is is, as a fella, you need to consider your humor might have been appreciated by the deceased, but that is not who's going to see the book. That's true of every one of my friend's wives. Yeah. My friends think I'm funny. Their wives do not. Yeah. That is generally true. That's true. That's true. And and so that is it was not wise to have done so. I don't know. I wouldn't I wouldn't bother. There's no value in mentioning it. For what? No.

Don't bring it up. Just let it go. It was I mean, maybe it's not your family, but my I'm surrounded by people who try to pull off an unsuccessful joke. If you stopped the trains every time that happened, the trains would never run. Here's what I'm saying. Is if beforehand, any man would have come up to me and said, I'm gonna write Mick Jagger in the church attendance blog at this funeral. I said, look, man. I don't think that's great. I don't think now's the time. You should just let it go. You should let it go. You should miss this opportunity for what you believe to be a golden year. He already did it too. So after he did it, if the if the the the widow says, hey, man. This guy was rude. I don't like it. I'm like, well, yeah, I'd let it go. I I think you should probably let it go. It's already happened. I'd have a hard time looking at him later and like, you took this thing. Like, I I mean, this woman was devastatedly crying. She's the one writing thank thank thank notes. Know his handwriting? She's Agatha Christie, this thing. Would you know your cousin's husband's handwriting? Maybe not. Come on. I mean, but I don't pay attention to that kind of stuff.

No. You don't think that she actually knows that. She probably gossip wheels and figure out think it matters. I would I yeah. Yeah. I can't believe you have any level of support for this. It just seems I it is well, I I don't have I'm not supporting it necessarily as in Well, your words are betraying you. If you feel like you were in support of it. I already told you I was gonna do it. You said you you said you would advise me against it. Yeah. I would. I'm gonna ask your wife. Can I write Mick Jagger in Mike's in Mike's death log? She might feel differently the day of my death. I know that's why it's best to get it preapproved. Have her sign it. Yeah. We had an agreement. Yeah. I'm gonna comedy this thing. I would just write the thank you note. Thanks for thanks for carrying him out, Mick.

I mean, you're you're you're not gonna approve anything. You're not gonna solve anything. Just let it go. Yeah. I mean, just think, gosh. That was weird. Everybody handles death differently, and weird things happen when you grieve. So we're we're assuming this guy's grieving too, and he just thought that was, like, his funny way of grieving, that the little inside joke they had or something. I mean, he didn't mean to hurt you. I mean, I tell you that much. I'm sure of that. That's probably true. He didn't it the effect I mean, you just have to be very obtuse

Yeah. To not consider to the fact Is that aimed at me? Yes. Okay. That Rod Stewart was in attendance to comedy. I mean, you gotta be a real Neanderthal. There's a thousand other ways to bring a smile to somebody's face on the worst day of their life, and you went with impersonating a celebrity. I mean, that is a bit of a rubber chicken gag. Like I said,

that's that's not even, like, a humor story from their past or anything. The flowers I got you for the funeral. Oh, there's a blow up snake in there. Yeah. That's the kind of the dude we're talking about here. Alright. Secular Secular says, sis. Yeah. I don't know how this golden calf got here. Poor Rod Stewart's name. Oh. Secular says, no. You are not overreacting. What your brother-in-law did was, to put it mildly, insensitive.

A funeral memorial book is the wrong place to attempt a bad joke. By all means, tell your sister-in-law about it. And when you do, be sure to mention how it affected you and your daughters. You all deserve an apology for this inappropriate behavior. I think that's a little funny. Call the police. I think you'd already have That's right. Have them sort this out. Yeah. Get out the spiked bat. Maybe a government regulation to say you can only use your legal name in the in the funeral log. I've never heard of a funeral log. I'm a be honest. Maybe I haven't been to too many people. Guest book type thing. You know? Because my wife signs in

for all of us. Maybe that's what's happened. Yeah. Is that I just haven't had the opportunity to sign. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm allowed to drive the vehicle there, but once it comes into interacting with people, she goes to the front right on purpose to try to play defense on my behalf. Yeah. I mean, my handwriting is not legible anyway. Yeah. And sometimes I forget whether how to spell Stewart, like whether it's an e or an a at the end. Yeah. Routes Routes Stewart. I I never I never signed those because I'm like, well, they knew I was there. I was, like, usually talking. So Hands avoiding the government. Hands it for an affirmation of how his presence has felt. Everyone knows I'm here. Billy Graham. I'm sorry your husband passed away, but old Dan Hudson was here. That ought to be a shining light. I won't even sign a book. No. I gotta be forgetting somebody. Oh, yeah. Dan was there. He was the guy glowing.

He moves like a mafia member. Was he there? No evidence to that effect. I saw him with two cannolis, but that was it. He's nobody in the log. So now I know I can't go to funerals with Dan or Ben. Nathaniel, I guess it's just me and you, I guess. Oh, you make sure his wife comes so there's evidence that he showed up. I forget one of the kids is like, I'll say, Mike and Jared and Grace. And then they're like, do you have another daughter? I'm like, I don't. I was getting to it. I completely forgot. Ran out of room. Yeah.

Ben. What? Sorry. The thing restarted on me. I can't help how the life how life lives itself. Hold on. Out came this golden calf. And out came this golden calf. You knew this when you had that old dinosaur computer over there running your teeth. It's

not my fault. Well, yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. We've been running this crank start computer forever. Alright. Hey. You've been listening live from the path. Hey. Listen here. Every every once in a while, you know we're gonna run a stinker, and that was today. So you're very welcome for the comedic break. If you got any complaints about the show, I totally understand. Call the Bob Eisenhower complaint line. That's (515) 517-0085. That's the Bob Eisenhower complaint line. (515) 517-0085. And it is still open for impressions. You wanna say be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends in your favorite character.

And in fact, if you do a Rod Stewart, I think that would be great. Hey. You could do one like crawfish. Ho ho ho. Yeah. Remember that guy? What was his name? Catfish. Catfish. Yeah. Catfish. That guy was funny. Ho ho ho. Be faithful. Where's Poova? He didn't participate on the complete line. He don't listen to the show. That's what I'm saying. His vanity knows no bounds. I I think he only listened to the show when he was on it. And that's only when I cut a clip and he could watch himself. Look at me. Other than that yeah. Yeah. There's yeah. I don't think he takes it in. Hey, Buva. Prove me wrong. Leave me a leave me an impression. Here's the deal. Impression or it didn't happen. Alright? You you hear the show, you'd call the complaint line and leave an impression, and then I will know you watched the show. If not, you've outed yourself to the world. He needs to do a leprechaun.

Does he do a good one? Yeah. He does a lot of impressions. Yeah. Okay. Mostly, his best impression of a is a of a guy that doesn't listen to the show, and that's him. He nails it all the time. Mhmm. Okay. Anyway, we appreciate you hanging out with us. We will see you next week. In the meantime, be faithful to means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to Live From The Path.