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No. I came in regular, then Nathaniel came in weird. He does that. He can't he can't be controlled. Alright. Okay. Here's what we got going. I don't remember what we had going on the show tonight. Well, here's the thing. We were just talking about, and and maybe it's not it's like a mixture of Pope style advice and just a discussion that everybody should be able to agree with. But it's talking about being obedient to the thing that God has you doing. Or

in general, putting some gimmicks and a bunch of I don't know how I want it. It's showmanship aside and just doing the thing. Doing the thing that God has you doing.

Yeah. I feel like maybe maybe we talked about this a little bit a few weeks ago. We some some the conversation was around, like, are we ready? Are people, have to be we we we're talking about false teachers and heretics.

And then people afraid to share about the gospel because they don't feel like they don't know enough. And there was encouragement in there that says, like, just go with what you got, and and kinda walk faithfully in that. So it kinda feels a little bit like that. Like like, what is it like is the question that we're getting tied up, trying to think of the the new strategy, the new way of either reaching people for Jesus or penetrating the workplace or what all that kind of Yeah. So let's let's take the so there's a couple angles that these conversations usually end up going in. One has to do with,

like, as a church or as at your church service, what that looks like and the angle that you take doing that. And then and then it's always a separate conversation with how you deal with it in your personal life, you know, like with your folks at work or with your neighbors or whatever. And so, first of all, let me ask you this. Do you feel like that's a a fair split? Do you treat those two things differently? That's a that's difficult for Dan. It's a difficult question. Yeah. Yeah. Can't answer that.

Yeah. So between between work and what was the other option? Is it the same attitude, I guess, that you would run your church service or the way that your community is outreaching as a community Yeah. Versus how how you would look at it as an individual? Yeah. Yeah. I I think I think I would generally think of those different. Okay. It's pretty standard. Okay. So so if you were if you were gonna characterize as as people go out into their,

you know, their workplace or the clubs that they're involved with or the extracurricular activities they're involved with, and they say something to you like, hey, I just want to know I want to create opportunities to talk about the gospel in these situations. Where do you think that our biggest hang ups are?

So I think we are we're worried about what people are gonna think, like their reaction to it. Mhmm. We are probably hesitant on what to what to say, especially in an environment where, like, people aren't coming and asking or trying to introduce.

You're trying to get someone to eat the cupcakes as opposed to them saying, hey. Did you bake any? And so I think I think we're concerned about that and the perception of of of trying to communicate true things to people. I think that maybe I think those are the major, like yeah. What what what people are gonna think of us, what their reaction will be, whether we are skilled enough or we know the right things to say to be effective,

that we don't embarrass ourselves or embarrass the gospel going about it. Those are things that popped to my mind. Nathan, what do you think? I would say sometimes, not necessarily sure what to say to somebody.

And even when you get into a conversation, it's like, okay, where do I take this now? Yeah. You might you get too far in. It's like trying to someone asks you, say, hey, I'm having trouble with the with my my wife or whatever, and they you're like, oh, I might be able to help. And then you find yourself, like, knee deep in it. You're like, I don't even know what to do. Yeah. I'm in over my hip. I'm sorry for you, partner. Yeah. I've had fellows that like tell me a story, they're like, I need I have this problem with my wife, and then I'm like, the problem's you. You're the problem. And I hate it when people come to me for advice, thinking that I'm gonna agree one way, and then I always it's nine out of 10, frankly. When people come with me and say, here's the problem. This other person bibbidi bobbidi, they tell me the whole story and I'm like, you're the problem. Yeah. You understand? You are you're the one causing this issue. And so but so let me ask you this. Do you think people temper their advice

based on who they're talking to? Yes. Right? Like yeah. Yeah. So so if I I think if you took all the the things that you just listed and pushed them off to the side and go, look, these aren't actual problems. You just need to be honest about the way that you live life. Right? So for example, if someone asks you a question and Jesus should be in the answer, you should put Jesus in the answer. And then you're not constantly going, hey, how do I present

a way to talk about, you know, Jesus or try to come up with some kind of phony in, you know, and and try to describe something that doesn't come up naturally. And we were talking about this before the show started. People who follow Jesus smell like Jesus. And you don't have to be a follower of Jesus to recognize that that smell is different. Yeah. Right? To to know that there's something different about those folks and there's something different about the Holy Spirit's indwelling,

you know, presence in somebody's life. And so I I don't think the problem is is that we don't have an inn. I think the problem is you're not actually living your full life when you're there. You're not actually acting like a Christ follower at your job. You're pulling your punches. Right? And you're and you're saying, I'll wait till the right time. I'll wait till someone asks what I'm doing Sunday and then I'll go, hey, I'm going to church. You know? And then feel like I you know, they know this about me, so then we're solid. Right? They will also know that like based on everybody has a conversation, you know, with with their coworkers. Every once in while, it comes up about their spouse. Right? And there is no doubt in anybody's mind that if you answer those questions like you would to your your friend at church, they're gonna know that you love Jesus. Right? It's gonna come out real quick

that you look at marriage probably slightly different than they would, and and you have responsibilities for both husband and wife that maybe they don't think, you know, is is really necessary. Yeah. So I guess what I'm saying, instead of instead of, like, racking your brain trying to come up with a good in for, you know, preaching the gospel at work, you let the Holy Spirit do the work and you stop being such a coward. Right? Not saying that you're gonna boldly show up and beat people with the Jesus handbook. You're just gonna live your life like you actually believe it. Yeah. Not not in a way, a a covert way of which you sneak Jesus in either where it doesn't belong or as a side saddle to something else that you're doing. Right. Like I think at at its core, we could say evangelism is not a scheme. Right. It's an influence. Yes. Like it's it's it's it's a ability to then to live your life as you would have been called to live anywhere where you are plopped. And by doing so,

you have the opportunity to influence people. They are influenced by what they see you do, how they see you speak, the things that you bring up, your candidness, your willingness to answer honestly, regardless of the situation. If someone says, hey, you know, we're go team activity, what's the most important thing in your life? Jesus. Like, are you willing to do that without thinking, hey, should I say this? I wonder how this is gonna land. Or, like, I think it'll get Ted over there if I say it this way. Like, no. It's not a scheme. Mhmm. Like, it's just an influence. And so it should relieve you of

any any burden that says, how do I figure out what to do here? You you be you, the you that follows and loves Jesus, and then just go do that in whatever situation you're put in. And then, frankly, you've done everything you can. You cannot control other people, and God will solve his own problems. Like, the the you you need to restrict your understanding of how much you're capable of doing personally outside of just fall like, you're fealty to Jesus showing up in your everyday life. I think I fell into a scheme the other day on accident at work. What? Yeah.

Like a Christianity scheme? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. On Sunday, I was I had to they they called a plant shutdown, so maintenance has to go in. And so and it was twelve hour thing. So I go in and we're all working, know, blah blah blah. Comes close to the end of the day, and one of the reliability managers

was coming up to me, palling around, whatever. And he's like, hey, it's good money. Alright? And I've been listening to an Ecclesiastes sermon earlier in the day. And I so I say, it's all Hevel. And he said, what are you talking about? And like, I didn't mean to like get into this, you know, discussion with him about, you know, Hebrew words. Yeah. But then it happened.

And he was like, you know, I really don't like church. You know, I don't like the singing and I don't like the standing up and I don't like the sitting down. But I do like, you know, when when the preacher is talking and telling me how to live my life. And I was like,

okay. Yeah. You've taken a different stance than most people. Yeah, can say. And so then we just kinda got into talking about, you know,

Solomon and David, and he confused Solomon with Saul, and we talked about that, and in the end we talked about fearing God and yeah. Well, But here's the thing, I think you would have answered that question the same way. Right? If I like if you had just been getting done on an Ecclesiastes sermon and I happen to walking by and said,

Nathaniel, I heard you had a work on Sunday. At least it's good money. I think you would have still answered it's all evil. Would. Yeah. Evil. So that and so yeah. Not a scheme. You did the exact thing that we're talking about. It's because what what most likely, even people who love and follow Jesus would go, yep, it is good money. Some days, love it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And like, skip the whole thing. When and I don't know. It's just there's so many missed opportunities there that if you weren't so busy twisting your beard, you would just said the thing. You know what I'm saying? You'd have just come come out with it. And people would know would know the difference. I was telling the fellows before the show started about a couple of folks that we had been talking to recently and like, it's they came to know who Jesus was merely by being around people who love Jesus for long periods of time. Like two years eating one meal a week at at these folks' house with no pitch for evangelism, no, you know, see how our family does it. That's the way Jesus works or whatever blah blah. Just,

you know, an interaction with a family who talk to their kids like they always talk with their kids, talk to their spouse. They prayed before a meal, whatever. They just lived their regular life and invited people to come with them. And like as soon as those folks looked at their life and said, you know, I feel like I need God, they knew exactly who to go back to and exactly who to talk to. And if you could just be that for other people, I really feel like you wouldn't have to worry about trying to make all these weird stances, in your in your extracurricular stuff.

I used to we used to have some friends a friend who was a waitress at, Pizza Hut, like like a hundred years ago. Right? And and they were trying to figure out how to sell more, breadsticks. And if the server went up to the table and said, hey, do you want breadsticks? Nine out of 10 times, we're like, no, no, we're good. We're already spending money. I don't you know, we got pizza if we don't need it. Yep. But what they would do is they would make some fresh

breadsticks, and they'd have somebody walk once around the restaurant with it in their hands, and everybody would look over and go, man, that looks good. They'd smell it, and then they'd go back into the kitchen with it. And then within two minutes, they were ordered. Like, everybody's table started ordering breadsticks. Yeah. You know? And it's like, that's kinda like, we just can't smell he said we smell like Jesus. Know, he's gotta you should be able to see it and and and and we don't have to have we shouldn't have to spell it out every every time we open our mouths and get awkward and weird with it. They they should just sense it in us, I think. That is a great example. Yeah. I love this breadstick story. Yeah. Agreed.

It really It makes me hungry. On all cylinders. Oh, boy. Look at that. Yeah. It was great. And then she showed us a few times when we were there. And and we would do sit there. We were in the corner watch. We're like, man, that really works. Yeah. I mean and pretty soon, all these tables are getting breadsticks, and they just yeah. That's wild. Tricky. So yeah. So so I I I guess the the the call here is to say, one,

you know, there's no such thing as like I'm not prepared to to influence the word for Jesus. Mhmm. That's that's weird. That's not a thing. If you love Jesus

and you're trying to follow him faithfully, then you're already doing it. I guess that's the thing. It's like, it speaks something to never say a thing. It's it's like, most people in some way will will kind of sniff out and figure out that you're a Christian. And like, it's not outside of the bounds of someone to go, hey, I wonder why that guy has never talked to me. Like, know, isn't that what Christians do? Don't they come and talk to you about Jesus? Like, that guy's never done it. I don't see him. It's I I this doesn't look like any different than me and my friend Bob. And so, like, oh, maybe it's a real passive thing, this this church business.

I got a few Catholic friends. That seems kind of what it is. Then may maybe it's not a thing. And so, like, your inaction still does speak something. That's assuming you're you're not living like everybody else. Yes. And looking like everybody else and sounding like everybody else. Yeah. Yeah. That that's what I mean. Is it like and may maybe the way Mike described is probably right. Like, you're pulling you're pulling something of yourself back. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise, yeah. Did to to the point, I think you could just go about your normal business and like people will will take it in.

But, like, if you're pulling it back because you're you're not confident, you think you're not ready, you think you're not prepared, you think you do not have the knowledge, or you don't know what people are gonna say, like, I think of the promise in in Acts where where, you know, he says, look. I'll I'll make sure that you know what to say in front of the governors. Don't worry about what you're gonna say. The spirit will will provide. Like, if the spirit was all about influencing governors in Paul's day, I don't think it's given up on your neighbor, Stu Mhmm. And your ability to say something that's helpful.

And and maybe you're gonna think, boy, I wish I could have said something more eloquent. But the thing that the spirit drove in you might have been just the things Stu needed to hear. I don't know how many times I've, like, I've really crapped I'm sure Dan's had the experience too. Like, you craft something, you you put a sermon together, and you're like, you got two or three things. You're like, this is whiz bang. People are gonna hold on to this. They don't they don't hear anything. The stuff that you thought was whiz bang, and then someone grabs on to something. In fact, I okay. I'll give you an example. I was teaching on, I was teaching on one of the beatitudes, I think. And like, I was given an example, I think around not, you know,

what was oh, people making sacrifices for other people, people, following Jesus in very difficult situations. And one of the examples was there's a guy who had been, like, kidnapped as a child. And, and anyway, he had survived it and then also had

come to Jesus and influenced his kidnappers and blah blah blah. And like, this is like real poignant stories about people taking taking kind of a narrow road. And after the service, this lady comes up. She was an older lady, and she goes, you know, I really appreciate what you said. We gotta be we gotta watch out for kidnappers. They're everywhere. I'm like, yeah. That's that was it. Nailed it home. Deuteronomy seven. Watch out for the kidnappers. I'm like, this is what she grabbed on to. It's

funny that it's the it's the things like that that like and it all this is what it boils down to. Right? Like,

you have the the being afraid to talk to people thing. You haven't once again, you have the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit in you. Reread the book of Acts and then get go leave your house. Yeah. Right? Reread the book and do and if it if it if you read through Acts again and go, this doesn't apply to me, then you just keep reading Acts for the rest of your days until it does. The thing that Jesus said, I have to go, but I'm gonna send you a thing. That is still the thing that we're operating on. And it did amazing things and continues to do amazing things. Yep. And you've been given the exact same thing and you won't you won't tag them in. You're like part of a crappy tag team where Bruce the barber beefcake's ready to come in and whoop tail. Yeah. And you're in there doofsing around like an idiot. Yeah. Right? Swinging your fist and and doing the Hulk Hogan moves that you can't pull off. And if you just tag them in, they'd come in and do work. You know, and and so I was trying to think of a tangible example of when this might go up. So so let's say you in your job,

I don't know. You you're walking down the hall and you you're on your way back from a meeting, and then you see a a young young man or young woman from the company, like, obviously upset, you know, a few a few rows down. And if your first reaction is like, as a follower of Christ goes, how can I provide help? How can I provide comfort and peace? How can I go talk to this person? Maybe pray with them. If your first reaction is, I'm not sure whether I should go over there because of some sort of limitation on what people may think of you,

whether you're a boss there, whether you are not sure whether it's a you should offer to pray for with somebody. Like, if those are your hesitations, that's where you're missing out. Not the fact that you didn't bring tracks, not the fact that you didn't make a happy birthday Jesus cake and bring it to everybody to have. It's that a behavior that you that you want in your heart to do because you love Jesus and you wanna love people the way he calls us to, and you have an inclination to do it, and then you pull it back. You restrain your Christianity

because of some other outside force. That is what we're that's what we're talking about is that kind of thing. And it's it's the other stuff. Like, Jesus ain't desperate. He don't need a handout cake. He he the your pamphlets aren't compelling. People aren't shy of information. They're shy of seeing people follow Jesus in such in a way that feels real and tangible that causes them to go like, the the say, boy, if I had if I believed in this, I would talk to that guy because he's this seems to make a difference in his life. In some way or another, he's just so nice, or they're just so caring, or, like, I don't even believe in it, but he prayed with me and I appreciate it. Like, whatever that is, it's it's more about losing the shackles of restraint than it is trying to blow it up to something that isn't just what it looks like to follow Jesus normally. Mhmm. I think I think that's kind of the that's kind of the point. And like, that was the the whole thing about the example I was getting before I got lost in a coffin fit about that lady and the kidnappers. Is that like, you don't

you can relieve yourself of the burden of what you what human thing you've conjured up that you think is gonna be effective. Like, just trust that the spirit will have you say or do the things that are right in the moment as long as you're open to them, as long as they pray on it before you go in and then say, alright. God help and guide me here. I I wanna serve you faithfully. And then go about it. And then go do it. And that translates to how you are a boss to people. And it translates in all kinds of things that you don't have to plot, that you don't have to scheme. Just be you. Yeah. The you who loves and follows Jesus. And even even the good parts of your company. Right? Like, so even when you think like, if you see someone crying and go, we have a very good HR department. They should should counsel this woman. No. No. No. No. You. You should do that. Yeah. That's what God designed you to do. Because here's the thing, and like, you have to look at this with an accurate eye. You know more about how this world was created and how it designed that it's designed to work than anyone else in that office. Barring that there's other Christian folks at your place. Right? Like, there's nothing in this world there's there's no one that understands this better than you as a Christ follower. You know what sin is. You know what the effects of sin are. You know what the price for sin was. You know what freedom feels like, and what joy feels like, and what redemption feels like, and the and the the grace knowing that you can continue to go back as a fallen humanity back to a God that loves you, and you will receive the grace that he promised. And you know what that feels like, and so there's not one problem in that office, or in that construction site, or in that regular old job of yours that this don't apply to. Yeah. And whatever whatever whatever band aid they wanna use to address the problem is not the one that you're going to use.

Because you know that band aid won't work because you tried it at some point in your life and that's why you're continuing to follow Jesus. Because you know all that other stuff is just it's heaven. It's dust in the wind Yeah. If Kansas were to be brought in. Okay. So so I think if there's if there's a if there's an encouragement here, as you look at your life and and you know you've you've got it on your heart and says, God, I I know I know I'm supposed to be making disciples and evangelizing. The your your first step is to be you.

Is to just be and be it be it authentically and be it consistently and be the you that God is trying to use everywhere without pulling anything back. Because like, to be honest, that's not only how you evangelize and introduce people to the kingdom, it's how you disciple people. Like, I've had no success trying to disciple people by like walking through some kind of book that was available to me. And it doesn't mean you can't do that, but like not a book that I wasn't already reading. Where I where I've had where I've it's been helpful for me to build relationships is to go, hey, man. I was reading this. Here's what I here's what I was talking about. Is that interesting to you? Sure. Can I borrow the book? Yeah.

Or I'm listening to this podcast or or like like there were things I was already doing that I then was sharing with other people that, like, I don't know, maybe their style, it may not be, but they they got to listen to something and ask them questions, and we got to talk about it over coffee or eggs. And, like, it was stuff I was already doing. And so evangelism is like that. Discipleship is like that. I'd like, I just I wanna make sure, I guess, as a as a followers of Jesus, we have not unnecessarily chained ourselves to having to be good marketers or good psychologists

or good counselors, or or or like people who really know how to what what are we gonna trick somebody? Like, just be you and use the skills and personality that God has blessed you with or changing in you, and, just live it out consistently and faithfully. And that's that's the burden that you have. The Holy Spirit is is tasked with doing the rest. And if that relieves you of some things, but otherwise encourages you to to live,

authentically, your faith out in front of other people in every circumstances, then I I feel like we got some winners here. Yeah. I think we're gonna be like, people are gonna be like, it may not be happen right away because we're not marketing. We're not trying to convince them to buy a newspaper or vote for Steve. Like, you're trying to get them to meet the creator of the universe and to recognize their own depravity. That kind of thing takes a little bit of time. Yeah. People don't often embrace their own depravity. It makes them admit very harsh things about themselves, and they gotta be prepared for it. Right. And so, like, you know, it's not we're not saying how many people did I pick up this week. You say, did I walk faithfully with Jesus this week? That's your measure. And then

bless him. He will show you fruit. You'll see it. You'll see people do it like years down the road, months down the road, it'll show up and God as a gift will let you see what you living faithfully to him is is producing. But just relieve yourself of the burden of the count and relieve yourself a burden of the method. Just live yourself out authentically. Oh, man. It's funny that I'm I'm hearing what I'm saying and it's aligning with a lot of the cultural direction which I would very much disagree with. Just be you.

I mean, the you who loves and serves Jesus who's being sanctified. It's like the the me being me as a follower of Christ doesn't get lost in the shovel of of a bunch of other people just being themselves. Right? Once again,

like the the Holy Spirit's a it's something to be dealt with. It's not just a hey, I I want I want to bring Mike's personality out inside of a workplace. Like, I want Jesus to be known here and like, I'm just not gonna hide him. Right? I don't know that I'm gonna smack everybody in the face with him, but he certainly he don't hide. What's that? That's that he being salt and light. I mean, you're you're not overwhelming. Yeah. You're there to season. Seasoning. Yeah. Not knives and fire. Right. There was there was an article in

the Christian Post this week. Says old time Christianity, a condition necessary for revival in today's church. Let's see how we feel about it. I long to see Christianity come back to the old ways when believers were identified by their lifestyles. Okay. Believers oh, I think he's gonna take a turn to the left. I say we were just talking about that. So

so far we're good. Believers were first called Christians in Antioch because the people saw their behaviors and knew that they were with Christ. In the late seventies and early eighties, Christians in my country were viewed very favorably. Wait. Where's he from? No. He doesn't say. Seventies and eighties. Okay. This seems like I hope this is not old time Christianity meeting. Like, go ahead and do it, Nathaniel. Back in my day. Back in my day. Back in the nineteen seventies,

Christians were in the cat's pajamas. He says, I remember a local cult that confessed that whenever they went on rampages and attacked people I'm sorry.

I'm going on a rampage. What a thing to say. Alright. Okay. So I might have to hand the phone off. I can't start to laugh when it's them. I get to coughing. Anyway, when they went on rampages, they were always careful not to touch the born again people.

Well, that's interesting. Yeah. Okay. Halt. I'm born again. I long for a return of those days when smokers threw away their cigarettes because a born again child of God was passing their way. Okay. See, this went the direct I was afraid of this. Where is this at? This has never happened in America. We're more likely to go, screw you. Get away from me. I'm I'm puffing. Maybe in the fifties. Yeah. Okay. So this so this is probably Africa somewhere because like The United the American culture ends up there, like, twenty years later. And so maybe that maybe things were rolling around. This is second. This is Kenya. Yeah. Maybe.

When we were growing up in the nineties, you never dared to approach a Christian girl for casual sexual relationships. There was such respect for Christian girls that even the roughest and the toughest of the boys feared them. The spiritual fruits in their lives separated them from the world, and no one doubted their identities. Now here's what's interesting. The premise is actually right in line with what we were just talking about. Uh-huh. However, there seems to be a sense of, like, like, the dislike the respect me. I'm born again that I'm not like, that lacks humility.

On the put your cigarettes down, a man of god walks by. Like, where it's targeting the wrong thing. I'm with the the casual sexual relationship as a thumbs down. I'm with that. I just that that that cigarette example was it's weird. That was odd to me. Mhmm. Hide your deck of cards. Yeah. That's right. I stay out of the pool halls. Okay. Okay. Yeah, Dan. This might be Kenya. I don't know if other Western countries, it's Nigeria Uh-huh. Experienced a similar phenomenon.

But in Nigeria, Christians were feared and respected. Thieves were afraid to steal from Christians, and churches were sacred places that even unbelievers revered. When Christians testified in court, everyone believed because it was generally known that the Christians do not lie. That's fantastic. Yeah. You don't even have to put your hand on the Bible, sir. What do you you love Jesus? You're in. There was a clear distinction between the church and the world. Christians were not materialistic, but heavenly minded. Where have we missed it? The sudden degradation calls for sober reflection.

We cannot continue to pretend that all is well when we know that things have fallen apart and there are lots of deviations from biblical Christianity. The world is now intimidating the church and Christians are now afraid of unbelievers. This is an error which must be corrected. A return to biblical old time Christianity is the only antidote to the moral degradation in the body of Christ worldwide.

Let us you know, I appreciate this more written as a from a guy from overseas. Cause like Yeah. And like, again, the the return to old time Christianity puts in your mind some sort of like colonel Sanders looking Southern Baptist. And like he's just calling you to win like, my wife never talked back to me type of days or something. And so like this this is so this is I'm I'm I'm more gracious with the language with what he's talking about because it makes more sense.

Let us return to a time when Christians who had God's calling tarried for the Holy Spirit to give them power before stepping into the field. Right on. Mhmm. There should be a redefinition of the purpose of the church to prioritize the mandate of the great commission. Right on. Church abuse become an became inevitable as a result of ignorance of the purpose of the church. We need to go back to the time when believers were not afraid to die for the sake of the gospel. Let's not forget that the disciples celebrated because they were counted worthy to suffer disgrace for the sake of Christ. Okay. I'm I'm on board here. I thought he was going a different direction, and I'm really glad it's it seemed like it's turned a corner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And so I like so this is kinda reinforcing. I I think that the part of his point being that, like, people reacted to you because they knew it was you. Like, they could pick out a Christian and not necessarily because we're wearing the Christian T shirt or because you're handing out the pamphlets or because you're you're, like, being real caustic with the information. They just knew because as the that that we don't,

they don't have to swear. They believe them on the stand. Like, that's the people believe that because they've recognized Christians as trustworthy in their day to day lives. Mhmm. Not because he said, hey, I'm trustworthy. Like, it's because they've seen it, and it is trustworthy. And so, like, you know, there's that Tim Timmons song. He said, like, do you believe it or are living it out? Like, how can if you can if it's this is a true thing, how could you possibly not live it out or want to live it out? And then that's your only task. And then it changes the world around you already. You don't have to force the change. It just changes the world because you're walking faithfully with Jesus.

Said there was a time when ministers of God were not interested in riches, and when the messages of the church was Christ and him crucified. Emulating the moral characters of the biblical apostles will do us a lot of good and provoke revival and restoration. Here's the I'm gonna give it to you this too. I'm sure Dan experienced this in Zimbabwe. Like, there's nothing quite invigorating

quite as invigorating as listening to somebody whose language is English is not their first language, and and the things that they're communicating to you are like so dead simple from the Bible. Mhmm. Like, they're dead simple things. And so, I and and but, like, it's super encouraging because you hear someone using a language that is not their their normal one or their or their first one saying things like, hey, we should it would be good if we acted the way the apostles did. Like, duh. But Yeah. But but, like, it's such a thing where, oh, we're so beyond that now. Well, tell me about the new perspective of Paul, friends. Like, maybe we maybe maybe the basic things are the things we still are working at.

And here I don't know. Here a guy with a English as a second language do it. It's just it's it it it just pulls you back to something childlike almost. They're like, yes. That's that's right. I got caught up in a bunch of other things. How about we just look at how the for people who are living around Jesus lived and see if we can align to something like that. Says, as the psalmist says, will you not revive us again that your people may rejoice in you? This is the question in so many Christians' minds. A lot of believers crave to see changes in their lives and churches. Repentance is the gateway to revival. Come, man. He's my favorite, this guy. If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then then I will hear from heaven and I will forgive their sin and will hear their land. Today's Christians need to stage a walk back to old time Christianity.

Repent from man made theologies and principles, embrace the holy spirit for supernatural empowerment, and ask God to revive his church and restore the church. I love this guy. Yeah. Where does he live at? I'd like to have him come guest preach completely. He's in Nigeria. We should call him. Yeah. It's if he he ends with, there was a time when the prayers of Christians shook the foundations of buildings. When believers instead of running away from persecutions and attacks prayed for the boldness to preach the gospel to the lost. I'm convinced that a retrospective step back to old time Christianity I wish he'd stop saying that. We're

putting that through American filters. Yeah. Yeah. It's just it's just something. Somebody somebody should help him. Like an American editor should go, you know, this might not come up the way. I am convinced that a retrospective step back to old time Christianity will inevitably bring back the charismatic and raw power of God as it happened in the past. He could just say first century Christianity or something or Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something. He says old yeah. Again, I I I look at old time and yeah. It's just got it's got rough connotations.

He had me going the wrong way because like he told all these stories on how Christians themselves were respected, and then I'm like, look, man, the the guys from from Antioch weren't respected. Like, were treated very poorly. Right? And so like it sounds like in the seventies in Nigeria, maybe we carry some clout, but like whether Christians are liked or not, it's definitely not a bellwether on how things are going. You know I'm saying? Oh, man. They got another there's another interview with oh, it's a video. Anyway, the the Oscar I'm gonna say this wrong. It's Ama China

on he there was a video of him say talking about reaching the unreached with the gospel. Oh, boy. He's a he's an he's an older gentleman. He looks I bet he's I bet he's like 55. Sending that to me. 60? Maybe 65. I wanna I wanna watch that. Yeah. Don't don't call 55 older than that. Older than older than say Triggering me. Nathaniel.

Yeah. Old time old timey even. The guy who was back who was around back then. So in Zimbabwe, this this year we're going again, and, their their big theme this year for this mission is, the the year is it the year or the summer? The year of a thousand souls.

And they're really emphasizing evangelism in Yeah. Throughout throughout Zimbabwe, and it's kind of it's been intimidating. It's like we're we're gonna do like four or five revivals while while we're there. I mean, like, tons of preaching

and and in schools and in churches and in just villages. And, it's it's kind of intimidating as, you know, American guy. I'm thinking like, I mean, I I wanna make sure to communicate to them in a way that they get it, you know? Yeah. Right. Kinda like we're talking about, he's talking about the old time religion and and and, you know, maybe that's what they need to hear. You know, I mean, I'll maybe I'll borrow that phrase. Right. Let's go back to some old time religion and they'll be thinking, yeah. And I don't know. I don't know. It's interesting

to try to go get into their culture and get into their into their head a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. It would be interesting to listen to sermons. Mean, I obviously, they have to be transcript or whatever, but like listen to sermons from,

you know, Zimbabwe Yeah. You know, that are going on this year by, you know, fairly renowned preachers and go, like, what what are the phrases that they're using? Or what are the what are the things that they're doing? Do listen to one, or a couple of them, that that that they live stream their services. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll speak in in English often. And then then they'll kind of go back to Shona, but they'll come back in English and, yeah, it is it is kind of interesting. But you're you're right. It's very simplistic, though. It's it's as far as this is just a simple gospel, you know? Right. They're not trying to get all all fancy and and

a lot of lot of twinkle and pizzazz and stuff. They're just like, hey, let's just look like Jesus. Yeah. And yeah. It should it should almost put us to shame. Right? It's it's the it's the faith like a child thing. Right? We're like, you know, we spend so much time trying to, you know, shine up or re spin or reevaluate

or look at a different perspective on how you present the gospel, and you're like, there's most of the time if the gospel is landing flat, it's it's it's kinda how it was delivered, honestly. Like, the the holy spirit's all the fire. It's all the thing that makes it sparkle and shine and turn into this thing that you're like, no kidding. Right? That's all of it. It's really straightforward. Right? Like, you you sinned, you can't pay for it. God said, I love you. I will pay for this. And then, I'm telling you, I designed this to work this way. Follow me. That it it's really great news, and it's really straightforward, but we're like, we gotta shake it up. We gotta make it look like this. We gotta make it apply to people more personally. And like, how much more personal can we get it? Right? I feel like we should just allow longer awkward silences in our servants. Right? We just go and here's the thing. And then just look around and go, that's it. I don't know what else you're still doing here. Yeah.

What are you what are you guys thinking about? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you read Paul if you want to, but I'm telling you. This is what this is what he's getting at. Yeah. Okay. I think that's it, Mike. Oh. Yeah. You wanna do some advice? Yeah. Let's let's do a little bit of advice. There's a couple weird advices out there. We're help change the world. Here we go. Dear, life from the path. Nathaniel, did you read ahead?

On the life from the path? Yeah. On the dear life from the path. No. Okay. Good. Because I wasn't gonna read it. Okay. Yeah. That's right. So I didn't need to read out loud. Alright. For the last youth group that you made fun of my reading. What do mean? Did you did you do life from the past? I did. And I I'm not very good at reading out loud. I'm actually very bad. And, Ben said that I had a reading level of a second grader. Ben. I mean I mean, he walks like a man without knees.

Like, full legs, but no knee. Like, it was I just I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready for it. He's such a Wait a minute. When did you do this? We did a show we did a show a couple weeks ago. I just I left it here. I I tried to upload it. It didn't work. And then I haven't been back to the studio for like two weeks. I've been looking for new shows for weeks and I and I didn't know you had one in the can. Nathaniel's performance. Here's Nathaniel is a is a is a sharp guy who does sharp things. It's just that reading thing took me aback. He just Yeah. Yeah. Someone stole his tongue. Okay. I'm I'm gonna read well then. You ready? Yeah. Your life from the path.

For the last four or five years, I've been receiving holiday cards from an ex girlfriend of mine. I haven't had contact with her since meeting my wife. My wife and I have been together for six years, married for two. The cards keep coming and it's starting to make my wife uncomfortable. How do I respectfully tell my ex to quit sending them? I don't have anything in common with this person under under that we used to be boyfriend or girlfriend back in high school. What? This is like a high school girlfriend?

And and he's been married six years now? My wife have they've been together for six years, married for two. Oh, married for two. So after they got together, the ex girlfriend sends Christmas card. Now, she send them just to you and that's it? Or to him and his wife?

I think they're going to just him. Not like mister and missus x. Still, I I mean, I don't think this is a big deal. Is this a big deal? I'm I may remember my my girlfriend named Cheryl was not happy when I was getting Christmas cards from my ex girlfriend named Marina Mhmm. When we were in college. She was like, why why did you hang that up on the wall? Oh. With with the other ones. That's a mistake. I was like, why put it with the other ones? I don't know. In college, who gives who gives a college kid Christmas cards? No. I thought it was cool. I had an extra one. Yeah. Yeah. She did not like that.

I oh. Just say don't don't send them to me. It's not appropriate. I'm married. Yeah. But but is it really worth all that to go out of your way and go, by the way If it honors your wife. Yeah. Stop sending me these cards. Dan says if it honors wife. My it may it makes your wife sound very insecure. Maybe so. Yeah. I mean, I I have to be careful that I don't wear too tight of pants when I'm out. Does that make my wife feeling because No. That's for the nausea of everyone else.

Oh. Oh, look at those two bongos. Actually, now that you mentioned It looks like a flat iron. That that is what she said now that you said that. Like, don't do that to people. Okay. Fair enough. Like, so like assuming

the question is if there's no other there's nothing else going on. No phone calls, no visits, nothing else weird. This girl just sends a Christmas card, doesn't write any weird notes in there. Like You know how some people are. They send Christmas cards absolutely everybody. Yeah. They'll give it to the mailman. The mail's like, I brought all of these here. I don't want one of them. You know? Yeah. So so maybe I would go with

a split approach. I would say, don't overthink this. This is probably not this is not a deal. If it's not a deal, don't make it a deal. And I would do, you know, affirm to your wife that this is not a deal. But if she was insisted upon it, then I would do I would honor her and say, look, you okay? This I mean, what do I care? What's the worst that this other lady's gonna do? Be mad that she don't want her Christmas card? She kinda,

okay. You're not married. It already didn't work. Yeah. I I feel like they would just think less of your wife, and I wouldn't wanna walk my wife into that. Yeah. Know, like, she because she I mean, I suppose she doesn't care. So I don't care what she thinks of me. I don't want her Christmas cards in this Okay. So then you whatever. Write them back or call them. Be like, look, Stephanie, need you to stop sending cards to the house. Does feel odd now that you say that about Now it's it may it's because she's like, well, what's the problem? And now you're defending it because it's you're not really offended. You're just trying to handle on your wife's behalf, and it ain't gonna take Stephanie long to figure out that your wife is the one that doesn't want them. My wife my wife is concerned that you're a Jezebel. Yeah. Yeah. And now that is a that is a weird thing to have to communicate someone. I would just throw it away. I mean, if if if it's that big of a deal, just take it in and chuck it. I mean, I I don't have a problem with that. But but it's

it doesn't hurt to say, you know, this just makes my wife uncomfortable. That's all. I mean, not even calling you a Jezebel. It's just like, I mean, we're not really together anymore. You know, I don't I don't know. Right. It just makes her uncomfortable. That's all. I I don't want you sending me friend friend Christmas cards. It does feel like an overreaction. Like

like, like the lady who sold your, who who sells her husband an ice cream at the Dairy Queen, she's like, I don't like you taking food from other women. Like, it does feel a little bit like this. Like, I I don't know. I it's kinda it's kinda like you you don't wanna feed into a to a wrong, to an unnecessary fear to like like I I mean, guess it's a conversation. Babe, you're I feel like you might be overreacting. Or is there something going on that I'm missing? Because, like, it's just a Christmas card. Well, I think she's trying to I think she's trying to get back with you. No. No. She's not. Well, here's the thing. I think that you're you're probably reading. You're telling yourself a story. Right? You're like like she's purposely firing these things off. Once people get a Christmas list, they don't subtract anybody. They just add. And so they get here's all the people, all the addresses, you put you send them out, you go here. Put up the all these on the postcards out the out they go. So you you guys are thinking like, dude, you gotta think like your wife. Hey. Hey. Hold on. Time out. That reminds me. My wife did not listen to the program very often, but she took in one the other week, and she said,

I didn't agree with your with your, life for the path, your advice. I said, what the heck? Why not? She says we were too easy on the late you remember the lady who who, didn't wanna host family for, like, four days over the holiday? Oh, yeah. Susan. And we said we said, look, you know, whatever. Go go to hotel or something, or go sit up in your room. It's totally fine. You know, it's your husband's big family, and I get it. And my wife goes, she goes, you were way too easy on this woman. She needs to buck up. She goes, it's four days.

It's four days. She didn't she married you. She married your family. And so she if she married into a family and you guys get together, then she needs to be a part of that. She just needs to to walk away just because she doesn't wanna be around. I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. That's what you meant to say. That's what I would tell a lady in the advice column. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing though. It's like you have to try on the pants where you're the one that brought the mess.

And then you're looking at your wife going, I'm sorry. Like three hundred and sixty days out of the year, we're fine. But these five days, I've brought holy wrath upon this house. Yeah. But if you remember that, it's not the family wasn't destructive or anything. This woman just wants some kind of respite. She just doesn't like large crowds. And she and basically, her thing was is it like, you gonna are you gonna be with your husband or what? Are you gonna go look things aren't my way, I'm not gonna hang around. If the if the family environment isn't what I wanted for these four days, then I'm gonna take time to myself. She's like, you got the rest of the year. You you married your husband, you know what you're walking into, why would don't abandon him here with that family. You hang out. You do it together. She might be right. I don't She might be. I don't know. We were too we were too easy on the lady because we don't want the ladies to be mad and it feels a lot easier to yell If at the that if that dude had showed up with the same complaint, we would have been like, look you horses behind. You're gonna you're gonna work this whole thing out. You're gonna be up making You love your wife or not? I don't wanna hear anymore about this. You're not the waffle maker. That's right. You better buy new table cloths. I mean, you're you're Belvedere as far as I'm concerned. You're working the whole the whole deal. Anyway, thinking like dudes, that just reminded me. I thought, you know, I just, that's the first time I've had my wife mentioned that she didn't,

didn't agree with our advice, and it was because we were not harsh enough on someone. I thought, well That don't happen much. Yeah. That's new. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So so brought Nathaniel. What's what's the end result for you? What are you telling him? I mean, I just take the card in. Oh, look. It's from ex girlfriend. Trash. Yeah. Trash. This is you're not you don't have to hang it up on the fridge and frame it. Yeah. Don't put it in the place of of steam at your house, like a special box in your closet. It's Yeah. Plus it like it makes it seem like, what what if this other lady's married too? It's a picture of her and her husband and their two dogs and it just seems kinda weird. To them. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she turned around and started sending a card. See how she feels about it. Send a card. Spiteful Christmas card, Cindy. Are we still meeting on Easter? I I think I would just chuck it. I I would Yeah. It in. Throw it out. Everybody else. I mean, if you really feel like she is really honestly trying to cause trouble and there's no level of insecurity that's bringing this up, then, yeah, you can give her a call. But otherwise, just throw it away. That's not a big deal. Yeah.

Unless you send presents in it, like, you know, money and stuff. Yeah. I would take that. Then I'd take the money out. And throw the card away. Yeah. That's it. That's it. Alright. Segular says, this old flame may be simply trying to be friends and not intend to pose a threat to your marriage. A way to discourage her might to be to send her holiday greetings from you and your wife with a picture of the two of you, your kids, if you have any pets, etcetera. If you don't send Christmas greetings, perhaps a snapshot of you and your wife on vacation would suffice. Here we are madly in love.

Or a wedding picture may get the message. Across. Don't you think that's a little much? This is comically passive aggressive. Yeah. It is. I mean, here's the thing. This person that sent the Christmas card is a human.

They're a human being. Like, don't manipulate them. Like, if it's that big a deal, call them and say I mean, Dan's Dan's right. Like, if you're if if you really just want this to stop and you can't handle it and you can't just throw this stuff away, then treat them like a human who's got Right. Feelings and who put time to put a stamp on the thing and send it to you. Just say, look, can you just give it just makes my wife a little uncomfortable, you know, or whatever. Whatever you gotta say. But, like, at least treat them like a human being. Right. Like, what a what a jerk thing to do is like, hope you get the hand. Here's a pic of me and my wife on vacation, and I got my hand around her waist, and she's super close to the camera, so you know she's mine. Like We have two children, so you know what we've done. It's like a girl. Right. What day? It's like a lady who got her hands full and she looks at me and goes, hey, can you grab the door? And I go, I'm happily married.

Okay, dude. I you know what I'm saying? It's just a Christmas card. That's all. Right? Okay. You don't want it. I okay. Fine. Yeah. When's a Christmas card not a Christmas card when she's in lingerie on the front? Yeah. And then, yes, you know, or when if it has a note that says call me, Dave. Like, I don't Right. It's easy to pick out. If it's making your wife insecure, if if it's the the the be all end all situation where she's still a single gal, don't you couldn't you feel like you won? Right? Like she's still single from when she used to date your husband, and you can go, You know I'm saying? Celebrate a little, and then put it up as a badge of honor on your mantle and go, that woman's single. I am not. Score. Here's my card. I choose you. Yeah. I think you really I think you should try to let this go. Yeah. If we're trying to edify everyone involved,

I I would encourage you to just let this go. Yeah. You know, I because still disagree with you guys. Take it, though. You disagree. You don't call. It says call it up. Break it off. This pseudo relationship we don't even have needs to be stopped. Yeah. I'd friend her on Facebook, and then I'd say, hey. Stop it. And then I'd unfriend her. Then I don't friend her. That'll teach her. Yeah. I think there's a job opening for you to give secular advice, Dan.

Then I'd call the police. Then I'd call the police. That's very cool. Steve, you get this car next year, you call the law. Yeah. And I would suggest everyone go to a psychologist. Man. Hey. We're on a roll, Mike. Fire on a Dear life from the past. A

friend recently moved back to his home state. Woah. Because he was anxious about leaving, I told him he could stay with me anytime he wanted. Uh-oh. I was trying to be nice and calm his nerves, but he has taken me literally and thinks he can come stay with me whenever he likes. When he visits, we rarely spend time together outside of my house. What happened to Dan? There's an obvious hole in this person's advice, like, in what they told their friend.

Hey, come stay with me whenever you like. And now this guy stays with me whenever he likes. I didn't mean it. I can't believe it. It's just something a guy says, you know. Hey, how you doing? I don't care. Yeah. He took me literally. Okay. When he visits, we rarely spend time together outside of my house. He's off with other friends for dining, boating, etcetera. By the way, I know these people, but I'm never invited, which is okay, suppose. Shouldn't But I be? Question mark. In addition, he leaves piles of clothes lying around in my living room along with used tissues and face masks, which seems disrespectful.

Am I wrong to be annoyed? Other friends think I'm being taken advantage of. I would appreciate your thoughts. What? I mean yeah. Just say, hey. Offer rescinded.

Yeah. I mean Okay. So I here's the thing. I think you're right to be annoyed, but you're pointing the finger at the wrong person. Get a mirror. Yeah. Point at the mirror, and then tell me who the finger is pointing at. Because, like,

you weren't clear about what the boundaries were. You let you tried to be Johnny gracious and and and thought that no one would take you literally. He took you literally, so he's at your place all the time. You didn't tell him since then. You did not correct it and say, hey, dude. I didn't you can't live here. I just no joking around. You can obviously afford a place to stay. I don't know who these friends are with this dining and boating that you're going about. But, like, if it's often enough to say you go boating, yeah, I think you're doing alright. So you can pay for a hotel, go stay at your parents or something. And then, like, if he's leaving his crap in there, you say, look, you can't stay here if you're gonna leave your crap in here. Yeah. This is so these are, like this is your fault for having not been clear after it happened in a way that you didn't expect. Like, you don't have to predict everything.

One night of this is not on you. But the second night that it happened, this is on you because you didn't say anything. So this is maybe I missed it, but is this like a long term stay or is he just like hanging out whenever he comes into town? Right. He moved back home, but like so he was living in this same town with the guy, and then he moved back to his home state. And he said, well, anytime you wanna come back and visit, you're more than welcome to stay there. And then he just visits all the time. Of course but here's the thing. Look at the things he listed he's upset about. Right? He's upset because he says, when he visits, we rarely spend time together outside of my house. Oh, yeah. So he feels like he's being taken advantage of. You're not here to see me. You're here to just use my house. Yes. That's what you but you offered your house. That's true. He's always off with other friends for dining and boating, which he doesn't get invited to. So then once again, you're just using me as a place to stay. Yeah. I mean, you're a bit of a soil diaper friend. Maybe maybe that's why no one has you out. Correct. Because you're whining and, hey, look at me type attitude. Then he says, went to piles of clothes in the living room along with I so I I mean, that's a really easy thing to put put it into. I mean, if if you're good enough friends with the guy, I just don't understand the not mentioning this. Right? But, like, you look around and go, look, man. This place is a sty, and it's not when you're not here. So Yeah. Clean this up. Don't leave this house again like this. This is a one this is a one-sided friendship. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously, they're not really friends.

It's just being used. You you don't you don't leave your crap laying around people's houses and and then go off and party and No. Then come back. I mean, like, if you're doing that regular I mean Yeah. Even just keep put it back on the whatever room you're staying in, you know, and put close the door. Yeah. So here's the thing is you're gonna have to have a tough conversation that no one likes to have because the guy's gonna go, why? And you're gonna have to tell him because you flat out just don't want him there. It's not because you don't have the room. It's not because you're not available. It's not because you can't afford it. You just don't want them there, and you're gonna have to tell them all the reasons why. Yeah. Just say, hey, man. I made a mistake. I'm really sorry. I should have been more clear. Yeah. Here's my expectations.

You can stay if you can meet those expectations or don't. I'm okay with I thought it was gonna be, like, once every six months. Yeah. Not like once a week. That's too much. And it wouldn't be a big deal except for your underpants are in the middle of the living room. Yeah. And I'm not down for that. And like what I mean, we're looking at this a little bit differently. Right? Because we're Midwest and the further west, this is big deal. But I mean, he could be like, you know, Delaware and Massachusetts or whatever's right next to Delaware. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Where it's like, it's only a two hour drive to get to his new home state. You know what saying? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm thinking like Wyoming, and it's a big old fly. It takes like fifteen, twenty hours to get here. Nobody boats in Wyoming. Nobody boats in Wyoming. No. They don't. Yeah. This smells like Nantucket for sure.

Okay. So at the end of the day, you're to blame, sir. You you made you were trying to be generous. Someone's taking advantage of your generosity, and it is not ungenerous to draw boundaries on your generosity. That doesn't make you ungenerous. It just makes you pragmatic. Actually, I think that's, Micah said a wise thing, and that's worthy of a bumper sticker or t shirt or something or a nice plaque above your above your living room. It is not ungenerous to draw boundaries. It's not. Yeah. It's totally fine to draw boundaries.

Mhmm. And it doesn't lack and you're right. It doesn't lack generous generosity to install boundaries where you neglected to do so in the past. You're just correcting an oversight. Yep. It doesn't doesn't mean you're not generous. Yeah. And it's never too late to do it. Right. Okay. Secular says, do not blame your friend for taking advantage of the generous offer you made before he moved, and no rule of etiquette dictates that you should be included on his outings with others if it's an invited guest. It would have been thoughtful had he suggested it, however. I do think you are overdue in having a talk with him about the clothes, used face masks, and tissues, quotes, lying around. The bottom line is, do you feel you are being taken advantage of? If the answer is yes, speak up and express that while you don't mind him staying with you occasionally. He should not assume your house is his pad in town. I mean, what kind of Brandon Cono just like blows his toes and leaves the tissues everywhere? That's just disgusting. Why would you? I mean, even at your own house, that's a little bit gross. Yeah. But like, I mean, at somebody else's place, just

like dropping around. This guy's It's disrespectful. Yeah. He's comical. Like, either either he's like, this is totally his personality and everyone loves him for it, or he's a weasel. And like, it's I'm leaning towards weasel, and you shouldn't feel bad about this at all. No. Well The guy's overblown it. Like, he blew his nose. He took a, you know, Kobe from the from the three, and Right. He missed it in the can, and then he walks in and he's, what's this I'm doing on the ground? You know, freaking out. I wouldn't be surprised. He does seem like he's a little bit antsy. Yeah. Like like like maybe he offered this because he really wanted a friend, and he thought the friendship was deeper than he thought than Yeah. Than what it actually was.

And then now he's he's just like a he's like a it's like treating like a spouse. Like, he's got the inside track to speak to this man's life when really, like, it's a lot more casual. So there's two two in a row where, like, you really risk over overreacting to how invested you are in a relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Let's do one more. Last one. Dear life, from the past. I'm 44 and divorced. I have no kids, and I live with my parents. Mhmm. I didn't finish college, but I do have a job in my field of study.

Okay. I'm happy in my job, have some friends, and I'm content to not date anyone ever again. However, I feel like I'm a failure. I'd be embarrassed to go to a school reunion and have to tell my former classmates about my pathetic life. I was always the ambitious one in my circle of friends. I was the one who was going to make something of myself and have an amazing career, a husband, and kids. My parents are disabled, and it does help that I live with them. I pay rent, utilities, and for and for my own groceries. How can I convince myself that I haven't made a complete mess of my life and that my circumstances don't mean my life has been wasted? I'm real confused at their representation of their own life.

Like the opening description versus this perceptive description of whatever like, what she thinks it's a she. Right? Yeah. What she thinks about herself

and then or what she claims to think about herself versus what she's worried everyone else is thinking feels a lot more like what she actually thinks about herself. Right. Right. Because actually nobody is really thinking about her. Yes. Nobody at her high school reunion cares. No. Nope. They wanna tell their story. They might, but then they'll the next day, they're they're back to their life, whatever it is. Yeah. Selling Porsches and stuff. Yeah. Somewhere in this description, you're lying to yourself, and I can't tell where it is. Well, I think the lie comes in when you base your life around things that don't matter at all, like owning a house or being married or,

I mean, let me back off of don't marry Think you're one person more about But like Nathaniel's solid gold. Yeah. No. When he talks about marriage, I mean, just he he oozes silver. He oozes silver. Don't matter at all like I your I took a step back. I gotta level with you woman. Don't lose anything to do. Hey.

I took a step back. You're need a ladder to get out of Well, here's the thing, like, ultimately,

whether you're married or not, it doesn't like Yeah. It can bring some joy, but it shouldn't be your ultimate joy. Right. And so that I was very hoping you were gonna expound upon it in some wisdom type way. No. You guys know me. I say something and then I back down.

Dear wife, you are not my ultimate joy. Love, husbands. Okay. So there's a Christmas card from I don't care if we're married or not. You guys are picking up when I'm laying down. Yeah. So Nathaniel's right. He just said it in a real poor manner. The thing is it's like you are judging your entire life based on perceived failures. Right? Yeah. If you were gonna get married, the goal was to stay married forever. That didn't happen. If you were gonna get to have a family, you should've had kids, which you didn't. If you're gonna go to college, the whole point of going to college is to finish college, which you did not. And so, like, these are all fails to complete as far as you're concerned. Now, frankly, I think you could probably use some of this as a motivation to go, which part of these things actually is what's going on here? Why does it not appear that the things that I actually do want,

I'm not actually getting done? Mhmm. I think that's a decent self reflection thing. But as far as allowing the rest of the world to decide what is good, what is bad, and what is, you know, good for you and your situation, you're a fool to open that wheelhouse. Yeah. Because she's even she's staying with her parents, but she's actually helping them. She's she's not freeloading. She's buying her own stuff. She's providing her own needs, and she's caring for them who have some issues. So So the thing is is is is I mean, this is always true. Right? If you're doing a good thing, it could still look bad to other people. Yeah. You don't care. Right? If you are if you're living if people are gonna go, you're such a loser. You live at home with your parents. You go, okay. When you know full well they're both handicapped and you bathe them, then you just say, okay. Like, you

people don't get to know all that stuff. And frankly, trying to get other people to validate what is good and what is bad, they can't even handle their own lives. They're not even gonna be able to see yours correctly. It's the it's the the the plank in the eye and the speck in your own. Right? Like, you can't trust those people. They all got planks in their eyes. They don't know what they're talking about. To Nathaniel's point, Jesus knows what he's talking about. What hey. What would be Dan's now constant advice is, get yourself in a church community. Why don't you figure out what life is about and the way that we value things and value people and your inherent worth based on who created you, and then we can go from there. Otherwise, you're basically saying, should I trust other people to evaluate my life? No. The answer is no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I think that's right. Are you satisfied with your life? Let's let's start with, you know, don't worry about what other people are gonna think. You're happy with it, then be happy with it. If you're not happy with it, then do something about it that otherwise makes you happy with it. That's right. You're 44, not 68. It's probably a good time to sit, like, what are some long term, like, ten year goals? Where where do I wanna be in ten years? Yeah. Let's start working on it. Mhmm. I mean

Yeah. But I I think Dan does make a good point. Is that, like, especially at this age, like, you are one too caught up in what other people will think and they're not thinking about you at all. Yeah. It I mean and and and I think I think to that same point, I don't know what level of detail you think you gotta go into, but like, hey, what are you doing? Oh, I'm I'm back home. I'm caring for my parents. What kind of jerk is gonna go,

you're what a failure. Yeah. Like someone you don't care about their opinion at all. Right. Who would say that? Dude, you were married. That doesn't mean anything. Yeah. I'm such an idiot.

Why am I so dumb? I always do this. I do. Every time. But she's even working in her field. So maybe she got all the education she needed. Right. You're the job she wanted. Maybe she doesn't wanna be the the head zookeeper. I promise you. She just wants to scoop poop. I mean That's right. That's right. If you like, if it's in her field, it's in her area of interest, if she likes her like, how many people hate their job? Everybody hates their job. Nobody hates nobody wants to go there. Nobody wants to go I love my job. Nobody wants to go there. Okay.

Dan likes his job. Oh, well, Dan. So, you know I love my life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I think I think you're fine. I think you gotta give this get get over. And if you're not happy with your own life, then take steps to fix it. Yeah. Secular says, while you may not have achieved the lofty goals you set for yourself, like completing anything. I don't know about this. This seems a little bit too misogyny.

When you were younger, you were being awfully hard on yourself by calling yourself a failure. You have a job you love in the field in which you want to work and good friends. In order to have friends, you have to be one. Weird side note. I assume the reason you are content to no longer date is past relationships didn't work out. If I'm right, that makes you a member of a very large club. Please try to maintain an open mind because one day you may meet someone you can care about and who will appreciate the value in you. And caring for your disabled parents is a heavy responsibility and needs to take priority over a social life. A way to counteract these self defeating negative feelings would be to concentrate every day on those things you have accomplished rather than what you perceive to be your shortcomings

instead of comparing yourself to others. Yeah. I I gotta be honest. Just that that last paragraph, it's just a dangerous place to be. Yeah. You can't hold that. You can't hold your own weight here and your the people around you cannot either. Yeah. You know, I mean, you can you can call Christians, I don't know, weak all you want to, but like,

God carries all the onus for what you're worth and the things that you have accomplished and things that you set you out to do and like your ability to think that you can carry that around and evaluate it every day will wear you out. Yeah. Yep. Practice contentment. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what I'd That someone loves you despite what you have accomplished or not accomplished. Yep. Right? Your your worth doesn't change based on what you did or what you haven't done. That's the whole good news. Right? That's the whole thing. Man, when I was helping my mom

with with her Alzheimer's, I I I because I wasn't living with her, but every time I'd go to visit and I'd take care of things and do things, I I I I just was going through my mind the whole time. It's like, what an honor I get to take care of my mom. Yeah. You know, I mean, she she is, like, in the highest calling of life right there. She is caring for those who cared for her in the beginning. And what what an honor. I mean, man, take pride in that.

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