Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live from the path. And you're listening to live for the Path three for the Pathway Studios here in Johnston proper. Yeah. I was just coming in hot. Yeah. Yeah. No. You do that.

Okay. It's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. I thought it wasn't good. So here's what we got going on the show tonight. Booba's in town. Hey. I I I think it's some sort of court summons or something. Yeah. I know I always get in trouble. Yeah. Request to appear or whatever. So Boova's in town for tonight. You're welcome, maybe. And then Dan, listen here. I'm a tell you something about Dan Hudson. Oh, no. When you when you when you see him on the show and you watch him, you think that guy He's hot. He's been yeah. Oh. Like, one, he's burning up the pixels.

And two, like, you would think that he's a man harvesting show content all week. You're like, it's just it's pouring out of him. Yeah. He vomits it like a sickness. Yes. He just can't it's it's he's got content poisoning. Now we will be surprised to find out that that Dan is more of a kinda wait and see what the room shakes out as, and then and then tread lightly. Right. Right. Yeah. Jump in, maybe not. There's some prudence in it. But Dan was on fire this week. He get a number of articles I saw come across the old the old Facebook from Dan Hudson. So we're gonna now, Dan, did you have do you have a favorite in here?

I have to be honest. I have to look at what I said. Okay. Was gonna say he's gonna have to remember all the things he sent this week. You know that. All I do is read stuff all day long, and sometimes I think, oh, I should send this on. And Okay. Bubba, I'm gonna give you guest guest choice here. You got warning signs of a cult masked as a church or pastors are glad they're quitting ministry. Oh, cult for sure. Cult. Okay. Let's go first. Let's go with the cult. Yeah. I thought that was Then you could do a view of, hey, man. Have I been in one of these, and I just have I just don't know about it yet. Yeah. Maybe I maybe I I don't agree with it. What do you mean you don't agree with it? Maybe I maybe the thing they say is cult behavior is not cult behavior. Oh, well, okay. Let's try it. Here we go. What's that? Where did go? BeliefNet. Dan, the open the You didn't even check the The the opening of this is weird. Cults may appear may appear wonderful on the outside.

I mean, you know feel like I don't really fault here if it was Dan for sending it or if it was me for picking it. Playing little finger cymbals. It's great. Man, I mean, I feel like we're really being set up. Well, you know, cults may be wonderful. I often think of cults spoken in a very positive light. That's not a negative word at all. I've been trying a cult. It's fantastic. I mean, something has to be attractive. You're, like, gonna drink Kool Aid and then go wait for the Haley bop or whatever. Sure. Mean, you know, it's it may interest me to suddenly get everybody. But Something's attractive about them. Kool Aid Kool Aid has been more appealing to people than Jesus for at least fifty years. That's about it. But they're like I mean, you got a fruit punch bowl that breaks your house down going, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Alright. Cults may appear wonderful on the outside, but on the inside are They may not. Are very manipulating.

Cult leaders are desperate to trick you into joining. They're after your obedience, your time, and your money. Cults use sophisticated mind control and recruitment techniques like a Jedi that have been refined over time. Many people think that they can't be deceived by a cult, but that's far from the case, Mike. Yeah. Now the the reason he opens that way is he's he's setting it up like this could be your church. I mean, because you're thinking it's wonderful. I love this place. It's very friendly. Right. Right. They're not saying, you know, that that death cult sounds appealing. I mean, he's trying to get you You know? Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. You gotta shake it author here. Alright. Beware of thinking that you are immune from cult involvement. Cults Hoover, you want a cult? No. I'm immune. No. Mean yeah. I got the shot. I've been approached I've been approached a thousand times and, like, I just I fend it off. I'm I'm in for a booster on that one.

Cults have millions of members around the world who once thought they were immune and still don't know they're even in a colt because Get to it, flabber jabber. To spot a colt, you need to know how they work, and you need to understand the techniques they use. Mhmm. I feel like there's a guy who puts on a weekend seminar Yeah. In 50 cities 50 cities a year, of which nine people attend, who are probably obviously in a cult already. Okay. How to avoid sophisticated mind control one zero one? Just give me your tax papers. I'll tell you everything you need to know. Okay. Once you understand how cults work, you will be better able to identify them, avoid recruiter, and protect family and friends. Here are five warning signs of a cult masked as a church. Number one God. The pastor slash leader is always right.

See, now if this is a quality, I do feel like there are probably some in fact, some of the most egregious videos that have gone around you remember that guy who called everybody out from the pulpit? He'd he had a big old had a big old pulpit, and he was like, I'm doing this because I love you, but you sleeping with that girl. And like And turn the sound down. Yeah. Yeah. That yeah. Yeah. That guy. That guy was yelling at the guy's mom, don't you you let me chastise this boy because I love him. Anyway, this guy seems like a real wingding who, like, he's always right.

Yeah. He's he don't fail. So it says, if the pastor leader is always making himself or herself right, this may be a sign of cult involvement. There's no tolerance for questions or critical inquiry. If you disagree with church leadership, then you're told it's your issue because you have to learn to submit to imperfect authority. Well yeah. I mean, I appreciate that it's just said as, like, a sign of this because I think that might just be a lot of The problem is is that people people who generally don't wanna change their life will will act the same way as and they'll be like, these guys think they're always right, and they're always trying to tell me what to do and, like and and it's spiritual abuse. And

it's probably a solid fifty fifty Yeah. Where the guy just literally does not wanna change anything, wants to continue acting in a horrible way, and then just have people go, yeah. That's cool. Keep rocking. You know? Like, the same guy will accuse leadership of being, you know, over commanding or insisting they're always right. But like if you're insisting that Jesus is always right Right. And I agree with him as a person, then Jesus is right and you're wrong, for instance, you know. And so like, I'm not saying that that that there's plenty of spiritual authority

abuse that has gone around, but it is it is a pretty broad brush. Yeah. You know, just to say that leadership if if you disagree with leadership and they say, look, we have to stick to our principles on this thing. If they come from the bible, then they should insist that we are going to stick on our principles on this thing. Yeah. We'll we'll have to see how this case builds with the rest of the four signs there because I think that's just a a common thing that happens all the time regardless of cult or not. Okay. So far, I'm not sold. But it might it might contribute. But it's possible. Yeah. 20% in. We'll see. As soon as the tambourines show up, I'm totally moving over to the cult camp. Does that guy 14 bracelets and a handpan? I think I'm out of here. He sewed a tambourine in his jeans leg. That's

wild. That was the that was after Matthias, the next apostle appointed was Bo Jangles. Says whenever you bring up a legitimate biblical issue to leadership, they find a way to turn it around on you and point out that you are not only wounded. Dog, okay. So here's I'm a tell you this up front. This this is the same type of conversation that you're gonna hear from a good portion of house churches and

people who feel like they just got burned at the church. Right. But half, at least, of those two crowds who are taking a whiz off the back deck onto the church are people who severely needed to listen to what people were saying. And so when they said, you know, I really got a problem. I don't think we should allow, Tristan and his wife in here because I heard that they were intimate before they got married. And you're like, no. You're wrong about this. The lord is good. They've they're repenting and moving on with a good wonderful and I really don't think they should. And, like and so they left because the pastor's not biblical, and their complaint wasn't heard. Their complaint wasn't heard because they were wrong. Yeah. And they refused to actually submit to their wrongness, and then they went and started their own organization that could set they they actually are becoming this. You you know the critique is misplaced

when the thing that you are upset about somewhere else, you created in your own backyard to to fix the problem. You you didn't you wanted someone to be right. You just wanted that to be you. Yeah. You weren't burned by the church or by god or anything like that. You just couldn't handle a a spotlight being put back on you and and your crap and taking any kind of criticism. That wasn't the problem. You were the problem, not it. So so I guess, like, I'm I'm the the problem is this can be it's like every every dear life from the path. You know that you're there's another side of the of the equation that you're not getting where you're like, I'm mistrustful that I'm getting a full story. And so I I would say, I I'm agree I will agree that this happens for one. And but two, I'd have to hear it from, like, your best your best Jesus loving buddy to tell me that this is also someone who loves you enough to tell you that you're off your rocker Yep. Before I would totally buy into some of that. Alright. Number two, deception. A cult needs to recruit and operate using deception. Why? Because if people knew their true practices and beliefs beforehand, then they would not join. I'm looking at you, Sam's Club. A cult needs to hide the truth from you until they think you are ready to accept it. What is the truth, though? Hey. So think about this, though. A cult needs to hide the truth from you until they think you are ready to accept it. Now I will be honest. I am particularly sensitive to this in modern church contexts

where it doesn't feel like we know exactly when to transition people from milk to milk to meat. Uh-huh. Like, if if you're if you're hey. They're guests. We wanna make them comfortable. I I'm on that. And we want but but you want them they're seeking Jesus, so they need to meet Jesus in the thing that they're seeking. Right? And so I think there is a a well intentioned line that is difficult to try to try to make sure you don't put them off with the celebration of Zeus. They don't know. But that you're not trying to trick them. Like, well, they've been here a year. Now we can tell them, by the way, you have to give up all these things. There I mean, there's a can you imagine if the woman at the well, like, she ran into Jesus. Right? But instead of the interaction that he had with her, he said, here, have a cup of coffee and sit down. You're loved. And then that was it. Right? That's where we left it. Yeah. There is there is a thing where, like, for people to meet Jesus, they actually have to be introduced

to to Jesus, you know, and, like, I get the milk part and I and I get, like, I I can't imagine that you wanna open up on on whatever the festival of booze, you know, and really beat them up on it, you know, or, you know but but honestly, we do tiptoe around letting them meet Jesus and letting be let them be offended if they're gonna be offended. Let them let them take it in harshly if they're gonna take it in. Jesus did did not obviously, he has the wherewithal as the son of god and whatnot to to be able to, like, have a pointed conversation with somebody and reveal truths to them Yeah. That are very specific to them that you may not have, you know. But we do I have seen this with a couple of very

well intentioned people who I think love people and their whole goal is to just be around others and and to just love them like Jesus would love them. But like if you watched how Jesus loved people, he really hit them with true things. Right, he didn't pull punches. Right, like a good friend of his, Peter, he called him Satan. You know what I'm saying? And they'd been friends for a while, you know? He's gonna do some good stuff too. You know, like the Sons of Thunder he'd made fun of. I mean, he was on it and so like, it just seems like, you know, if you're gonna take the love of Jesus is intentional

and always truthful And so sometimes, like, there is such thing as omitting the truth until you feel like the time is right. I don't know. I'd be really checking in with with with Jesus about that stuff, like, on how much you're gonna withhold back for what reason. You know? Like, if you're talking about non or traditional Jewish laws versus the Pentateuch, maybe we can hold off on getting in the weeds on that thing. Right? But if we're talking about the things that Jesus talked about, I you should probably have right at it. I I don't I don't know that that's what this article is talking about, though. No. I don't think so, but it jumped out at me. It's like what what you're withholding. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's more like, well, when you get to a certain level, you shave your head and wear a robe. You know? It's like, we're not gonna tell you that's the first week.

We're gonna wait till you get to level four. Now you're at a Topaz level member. You Right. You we expect $10,000 yearly, and then you will first are second born we're not first borners. We need second born. Yeah. But in the end, isn't that actually less dramatic than the fact that, like, hey. We surprise you and say, by the way, Jesus wants to be lord over your whole life. It was a like, the hair shaving thing, if someone put that on you, you'd be like, boy, that's kinda radical. But, like, I like my hair. There's just a caution that we withhold this notion of Jesus is lord until someone's Yeah. Like, ready. And so, like, I know is right. I know that's what what what this wasn't getting at, but, like, I I almost it makes you think about Right. What how you couch information. What are you withholding so that people don't think that you're weird? Man, that's a valid point. Like, I always

I've I've never hit that like that though because I feel like in my in any situation I find myself in, I I air on the side of being soft in the beginning and, like, pulling punches. And, like, if I meet you and and, you know, sin a, sin b, sin c. Right? Doesn't really matter what it is. But, like, I'll go, oh, I'm not gonna bring them into to the sin conversation because Jesus loves them, and why would they care about what their sin is until they know that that Sure. You know, this kind of stuff. Right? Yep. But it also does make sense to your point. Like, Jesus didn't pull those punches. Like, he he hit that where it needed to be and and followed it up with love immediate. So I think that's that's the right distinction. And we talked about this, I wanna say, four or five shows back when, like, what does it look like to actually how do I evangelize? And, like, part of the deal was, like, you shouldn't have to be pulling punches because you shouldn't be going around throwing punches. That's fair. Yeah. It's the notion is more like, what did I with it's more about what did I withhold. Right. And so, like, if it was the right time to do it, did I back away? Now there's all kinds of times when this isn't the right time to do it. Just like, hey. Do I expect you to wear your Jesus t shirt and your Indus near placard walking around your church building or your office building? No. Because you wouldn't normally do that. But, like, if I would normally tell someone, boy, that's rough. Let me I'm gonna pray on that. Yeah. I'm gonna do it at work. Right. Like, I'm not gonna Be genuine. I'm not gonna pull yeah. That's right. There's a there's a genuineness to it. And so I think there's a genuineness to a Sunday morning. There's a genuineness to anything that your church is doing to say, look. I'm not gonna not be me

in my relationship with Jesus in any given situation, but be being genuine in my walk with Jesus also doesn't mean that I just name drop Jesus at every opportunity because that's not Right. That's not normal. Ned Flanders is the weird way to go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. A cult will also have a slick, well rehearsed public relations front, which hides what the group is really like. Yeah. The mission of the cult may look similar to a church. You will hear how they help the poor, support each other in community, emphasize peace, or save the environment. They will tell you how happy you'll be in their group. Everyone in the cult always appears to be happy and enthusiastic mainly because they've been told to act happy, and we'll get in trouble if they don't. So the city of Portland, Oregon is a cult? Yeah. Actually, I'm a agree with that. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's happy, helps the poor. They recycle.

Dogs have the same level of any citizenship as everyone else walking around. Mike, what's the what's what's what's the if you had to give Portland a vibe, like, by color, like, what would it be? Sounds like a terrible question. On a on, like, a rainbow scale. Turquoise. It's very turquoisey in Portland. Yeah. Turquoise on the rainbow? Okay. I don't know. Roy g. No. There's no t in there. You're you're pretty Yeah. Roy g Bifton. Yeah. Okay. Third, exclusivism.

A normal religious organization would not have any trouble with you moving to another similar organization as long as you stayed in that same religion because it's the belief system that matters, not membership in an organization. For example, if you're a Christian, then you could move from a church to another and still be Christian. Now, yeah, I that's a little shallow to me. One, it discounts the fact that you have relationships with these people. You do care that they went somewhere else. There's also like, sometimes it personally hurts because it feels like it's a judgment upon you in some way or another for someone to go somewhere else. It's also what I I think it's a loving question to go, where are you going and why? Right? Like, if if if if you know someone who is is proclaimed to follow Jesus and they they're church hopping every two years trying to find a place that is more toward their liking, they might be missing the whole point of the Jesus is Lord thing and more like, I am Lord. Suit suit these Sunday services to my taste. You know? And so, like, out of loving kindness, you go, what is it that you're that you're looking for? You know? Yeah. I mean, if you gotta go, you gotta go. I totally get it. But, like, you've you've been to three churches in six years. What is it that you're after? You know, if you can't and maybe you won't find it here, whatever it is, but

I you should be able to tell somebody, say, look. God's got me going here. I don't know why. He did, and so we're moving, and that's cool. That's a completely understandable reason. But if you're like, well, I like to worship at this other place or something or they have they have coffee and donuts, and I'm tired of having to work the nursery. I mean, you know, maybe you should try to try to organize and fix the place that you're at before you're ready to kick the tires and leave. Yeah. It's less possession, and it's more just loving relationship there. It's like, hey. I just I care about you. We've gotten to know each other over the last six months or whatever. Where are you going? Yeah. Yeah. I I think that's You can't leave here. And that's not like That's different. And that's not churches going, hey. I wanna own you or I want you to be part of our cult or, like, we need your numbers here. You know, sometimes it legit is just people going, look, I care about you. And, like, you have some actual things to do that Jesus has put you in charge of and you seem to be bailing on it to be entertained better Yeah. You know, for with a fog machine. Yeah. We care about why you're leaving. You're leaving because you've been here for two weeks and aren't an elder yet. Right. Yeah. Right. You want some more authority. Maybe these guys are just giving out. Make you head of nursery because one time you saved a baby from, like, grabbing a toy. Right. We gotta have that guy back in the children's ministry. You're in charge of everything. Great job. You're a deacon. Okay. Let's see here. So normal blah blah blah blah blah. For example, okay. We already talked about that. It's not the belief system that decides your future, but it's the belief system in your membership with that particular group. The cult leaders will make you believe there's nowhere else that you can go and still be saved. And if you ever leave the one true church, then you're going to hell. This is fear based control mechanism designed to keep you in the cult. Do have you have you ever seen churches that act this way?

I mean, are are these valid critiques? Are there churches out here doing this thing? Yeah. Says, yeah. Yeah. It's happening. Definitely. Yeah. I think so. Okay. Next, cult cult fear and intimidation. Cult leadership is feared. To disagree with leadership is the same as disagreeing with god. Cult leaders will claim to have direct authority from God to control almost all aspects of your life. If the cult is not a religious group, then questioning the leaders or program will still be seen as a as a sing of rebellion and stupidity. Guilt is a tactic they will use to control you. This is hard. This is hard because you'll find some dudes or ladies and, like, they will like, they seem to have a spiritual authority, you know, like, or God has told them something, you know, and and and you've seen it, and you're like, okay. And and you get worried about your own relationship with Christ and your own understanding of the scriptures and you're like, well, holy spirit isn't like tapping on my shoulder telling me things, so maybe God's talking to me through this person. Mhmm. And then, yeah, I mean, in the wrong hands, you know, they could totally use that for their own glory or power and not be using it for the service of Christ. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. The the the the authority within the the church body that you're a part of, like, that that does exist, but it is absolutely able to be abused in many times and all over the world is. And so that's it's dangerous, and it's very viable that it's a problem. But So what's a what's a way to combat against that, fellas? Right? Like, if if you feel like you're in a situation like that?

What's a good biblical way to feel like you're in a cult? No. When you feel like like like maybe you're under some spiritual authority that that might be taking advantage of you or using it for the other church that that it's no longer a a god given authority that they've got through that. It's they're abusing it. I don't know. What's what's a good way to double check that action? Hopefully, you have some solid Christian friends that you can bounce off of and say, just check me on this. You know, am I being overly sensitive, or is this what what do you what do you see in this? I think that'd be a legitimate conversation. Hopefully, ones that don't go to that church

who can look at it. Right. Just taking the information as it as it stands. You know? Mhmm. I mean, there's obviously prayer in it too. Like Yeah. Honest, like, bare bones prayer to it and figure it out through there. Like, hey. You know? God, if you wanna reveal to us that this is something that we are subject to in a way that is honoring and glorifying to you, and this is something that's real, you know, make that known. If it's something that's not, same situation. If this is authority that you have not given, this is authority that is being abused and we are under, make it known. Yeah. Okay. You're gonna push back, but you're gonna do it you're gonna seek in humility. Yeah. Absolutely. And and, again, I think this is where you gotta be careful somewhat to the example we were talking about earlier, which is, like, you know, you you run the risk of just disagreeing with someone in some level of Right. I don't even, like, love the word authority, to be honest with you. Like, someone who's got the responsibility for your leadership and responsibility for a group of folks. Yeah. And so, you know, they you should be able to talk to them, and they should also react humbly.

But, you know, people often do push back simply because they don't like to hear the fact that they're making choices that are outside of Right. Yeah. Biblically what what would be Still humans involved. Yeah. I I I have a young guy who's been attending our our church and coming from a background where that's a very controlling situation, where the pastor like, I mean, controls like a lot of their lives. And to the point he's like, okay, I don't know that this is healthy and that it's good, and trying to figure out scripturally what to do and everything. So he'd been coming here for a while. But then I hadn't seen him for a few weeks, and I thought, well, I better check up on him and make sure he's not like been sucked into,

intimidation Are type they after him? I said, didn't have to come to this church, but I wanna make sure he's okay spiritually. I checked with him and he goes, oh yeah, I'm good. I'm going to my cousin's church too, and I was praying about, I like Pathways. I well, I'm not here to try to self Pathways, just wanna make sure you're all right. Because there

can be intimidating fear mongering, is that the word? People that will threaten your salvation, threaten your spiritual health, threaten all kinds of threats

that if you give them too much position of authority in your life, you might believe them, that they can do things that they really can't. So, yeah. I mean, I've seen that. I've run up I've run up across that before, for sure.

Yeah. And and maybe as a maybe as a feedback on well, here, let's finish the last one. There's no accountability for leadership. This happens when leaders only allows I feel like it's written by a guy who's who's English is not the first language. Only allows those they know agree with them into leadership positions. It is biblical for a church to have elders in place, but they need to be mature elders, not puppets of the pastors. The elders are the butter buffer between the shepherd and the sheep. In fact, elders are the basis for the New Testament church, and as Paul planted churches, he appointed elders in every church. The Bible tells us Paul and Barnabas appointed elders for them in each church and with prayer and fasting committed them to the lord. It's imperative that your church has checks and balances. If your church leaders refuse to allow a mature elder board or council to put in place, your church might be a cult. Ran into this through my my in laws,

actually, recently. It was not a situation where they were appointing immature elders and stuff like that, but there was a connection network of churches where it was insane nepotism from the perspective of like, it would be one guy was kind of the top, and his wife was the treasurer,

and his brother was the pastor at a sister church, and then his whole family was in charge of everything there. Then every time they do a new church plant or a youth pastor or worship pastor, It was insane. The amount of people that were in this small family that were in charge of this whole network of churches. And it turned into, like, the head pastor guy was in some serious rough stuff with, like, a worship leader that was a younger gal. Mhmm. And it all came crumbling down because of that. And it flipped into the other perspective of, like, this weird dominating, like, pastor relationship

because even after he was denounced from the church, most of his family members were denounced from the church. He moved halfway across the country. He would still text the family and just be like, hey. Just so you know, I'm still praying for you, and I I wanna make certain I know where you're at and wanna know this different stuff. And, like, you could tell the heart was less about, like, reconciling the relationship that existed before to still living that power fantasy of, I may not be in charge of the church that you're a part of any longer, but I still wanna be in control of this. Yeah. Right. And know that I'm still your link to your salvation and I'm still your link to your faith. And it's still very real. I may have moved a thousand miles away, but I'm still there. And it was just That's creepy. Yeah. Was terrifying. I was like, what is happening right now? And that may may or may not be a cult, but it's certainly out of line.

Right. Exactly. Yes. Right. Yeah. But some of the stuff he has here on on his list is not I mean, I think the cults definitely have that, but some churches flirt with it. Yeah. And there's still churches, but they just they just need to to get in line a little more. I think the identifier of whether or not you're a part of a cult isn't the most important piece there. Like, you probably know, to be honest with you, if you're a part a cult. But that doesn't mean that there aren't things to take from this of warning signs in general for Yeah. Yeah. What kind of communities you're a part of. Not necessarily just the designation of am I a part of a cult or not, but am I seeing irresponsible

and and dangerous relationships that are being developed in the community that I'm a part of, and how can I be positive in the force of change towards that? Right. Right. I mean, I've I've worked with a guy in a in a church setting where where there was a lot of control going going on, a lot of things going on behind the scenes that people didn't know. A lot of these things were happening. It wasn't a cult, but it was a corrupt leader for sure. Right. I mean, and and the church the church crumbled because it was an unsolid foundation. And and so so, yeah, you have to kinda distinguish. And and I think that's probably what the author's trying to get at is like, your church doing cultish things? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I maybe I'm just putting that through my own filter. Some people are in actual legit cults, but but Yeah. The place may not be on fire, but there may be a couple warning signs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well and and and I think it's probably

in a grander scheme to look at it and go, like, god is after submitted authority. Mhmm. Right? Like, he will he will be your authority, but it's voluntary to submit to that. Right? And so, like, you find places that, like, churches that are like, hey. We need dudes to to mow this place every Tuesday. You're gonna submit to spiritual authority, and you're gonna get mowing. You know, like, that's that's not really that's not really like, it's it's weird stuff like that where they start creeping into oddball, like, sections of your life, you know. I'll tell you who you can date Yeah. Exactly. And when you or if you can get married. That's the and it's but it's way different if a young man comes up to me and goes, hey. Listen. I'm I'm I'm thinking about starting dating. Here's the gal. You know, what do you what do you think? Right. You know, that is I'm submitting to a guy that's older than me or has some spiritual authority over me and says, hey. I could just use your your advice here. That's getting guidance. Yeah. That's guidance. And, like, and and and, like, everything

everything when it comes to god is a free will donation. Right. Right? God asks for your heart. He he doesn't demand it. He asks for it. And you gotta give it to him if you want to give it to him. You know? And like the every everything, every sin that we try to avoid, every characteristic of Jesus we try to take on, it's all voluntarily. And so, like, everybody goes, hey. Look. I I'm I'm praying that the holy spirit can make this change in me. I'm asking to be part of this. That's the way that god wants your heart and your submission. He doesn't he doesn't put anybody in charge to take it by force from you. If you wanna roll off the rails and act a fool, Jesus is gonna come after you, but you can say no as many times as you want. Right. Yeah. I you know, maybe one of the prime takeaways then of, like, if I if I roll this up is, like, I am is that the that difference between the responsibility and authority thing when it comes to how you think about leaders. Like, if from a leadership perspective, you have any human acting like they own you, they own your time, they own your actions,

that's that's that's where the lines are starting to be crossed. I have a very strong opinion on people who I feel like I have the responsibility to care for, but I I do not have they don't answer to me. Mhmm. They answer to Jesus. Right. And because I'm not, like, I'm not worth answering to. And if you don't recognize your own humanity in that, it doesn't mean that, you know, as a responsible party, you don't have harsh, hard conversations. It doesn't mean that you don't speak very clearly to them and say, look and and with the confidence that the Lord has given you to be the person who says these types of things and who God works through in that particular way. But when it starts to be that there's a sense of control

as opposed to them humble serving you even in ways you don't like, then I I'd be cautious of that whether whatever else around you is the cold or not because then you risk following a person who is leading you closer to them as opposed to closer to Jesus. And sometimes they don't even intend to for it to get a skew like that. But, like, I I think that's one of the major risks of

we've talked about putting pastors in in bad positions with some of the way that the church is is just set up to do with the various roles. We also put the the pastor in a rough positions to have to be a face, to have to be someone who is, like, motivating an organization as opposed to someone who's just humbly serving that organization. Right. The what we're asking out of it puts them in a rough spot, and it puts them at risk. And I think we have to be cautious. And so not all that's intentional manipulation. Some of it, like, a guy just thinks this is my responsibility, and the only way they know how to get behavior the way they want it is to try to assert some false level of control. But, like, people always will they'll always get away from that. Your kids will get away from that even as a parent. You you can only assert I like, I have a my my oldest daughter like, I just know it's been at least a few years. Like, what am I gonna say? Can can I possibly force her to do something? What am I gonna do? Right. Like, she can run. She can, you know, she can probably evade me. What am I gonna grab her and you're gonna clean this room. Like, honestly, if she does not do it willingly,

I don't there's not, like, a ton of rep, but your toolbox ain't that high. Right. And, like, the the options that you might be able to use, you would never use. Like, they're inappropriate. And so, like, it's that kind of thing where it's it's a sign of a bad leader when you're reaching for those types of toolkits. Mhmm. Yeah. That stuff. And so I I'd be cautious about that. And it's one of the and and maybe also it'd be one of the things to be praying for your pastor about. Like, it's I think it's hard. I think you do have to be intentional about protecting that kind of thing because just like a parent where it's easy to go, look. I'm the parent. You do what I want. That like, sometimes it's easier just to go, look, I'm the pastor and you guys can't date. You need to listen to me. Yeah. You're gonna chase them from your church and then you're gonna chase them from Jesus because they think you're the guy that knows and they don't like what you're talking about and not just because they don't like it but, like, it gives them a bad impression of Jesus. That's why God was always upset with the Israelites. They can make their own choices, but they're they're shaming God's name in their behavior. And that's why God's irritated with them. That's why he goes the length he does to, like, you know, do the justice to try to bring him back to right representation of him into the world. And I think that's an important takeaway too is from that that last bit you said about praying for your pastors is it's it's important to understand that whatever

I I appreciate the distinction between responsibility and authority there. Like, the responsibility that they feel being the pastor of your community, it's it's a difficult act to to balance because it is exactly that. Like, you're not trying to bring the hammer of conviction of the holy spirit. That's not your it's not your hammer to swing. But at the same point in time, do you still have love and compassion and kindness for the people that are in your flock or whatever you wanna call it and hope the best for them and want them to have a relationship with Jesus? And deifying your pastor and your community is never the right answer. But, also, the other line of it is realizing that they're human. And prayer for them and the relationship that they have with God and the relationships that they have to to walk that that thin line from time to time or probably at all times is an important thing for you to recognize as a person in that community. Yep.

Alright. Cult identified. Hey. Maybe you're in a cult and you wanna talk to us about it. You can call the live from the path Bob Eisenhower complaint line. That's 515517. Hold on. I forgot it. Yeah. (515) 517-0085. That's (515) 517-0085.

The life from the path, Bob Eisenhower complaint line. You can let us know now here's the deal. I'm I'm I'm, like, half joking. I know some of you come from rough backgrounds, especially as kids. Your parents are involved in weird stuff, and you don't know about it until you get older and you're looking around. You're going, something not right about this. Yeah. And thank the lord for the holy spirit and John Wycliffe and all the other people who made sure that you had an English bible available to you so that you can read it every once in a while. You found it at the hotel. See, even the Gideons are in on this thing. And you took a read of it and you go, now wait a minute. Were the Gideons a cult? I don't I don't think I know what the Gideons are, to be honest with you. No. They're they're they're overzealous sometimes. Yeah. But They're excitable. Yeah.

They're excitable. They're not a cult. They're just excitable. But I'm They want me to join them and give them money. I'm like I'm a tell you this. Like, I bet there are untold number of stories of someone in a hotel room for random reasons Yeah. Doing whatever, who picks up a scripture and looks around and goes, I never thought of that. And sometimes, even in the situation that we're about where you wouldn't even know that the things you're doing or that your parents did were not normal. In fact, that's one of the great shocks that I think that happens, and you gotta be careful with kids, is that you you you bring them up in such a way that once they leave your house or your direct influence, they start seeing a whole bunch of stuff in the world. It blows up. And and then it it causes them to think, like, well, I didn't even know about this. Maybe my parents don't know about this. Maybe the people at my church don't know about this. And it starts to kinda make them think that what they what their foundation was built on

wasn't a right representation of the world. One of my great cautions to high schoolish, college aged kids is that, like, once you start leaving some of your comfortable confines and getting out to a view of the world, like, how you see the world is should always deepen. But if it flips, if it completely changes, you were sold a different bill of goods.

Like, I would be very I I went to when I was in college, like, I noticed this very thing is that there's a set of things that I believe, and then you go start meeting a bunch of different people from a bunch of different places. And, like, no joke, 90% of my life was different than maybe what I'd seen growing up. And it causes you to think that mine the thing you grew up with was a very small thing and that the real world is like this. It's it's it's and it can easily confuse you into going, well, then maybe I throw out the small thing and this is the new what the whole world is. But, like, that isn't how it is. I think kids and parents, like, we have to reckon with the a deepening world. So, like, as an example, one of the this is this is relevant to a lot of the things that cause cause cultural rubs. It's like how many guy how many times have you sat and you grew up in a church environment? There ain't there's no gay folk there at your church because they're they don't feel welcome. They don't feel comfortable. They don't like the teaching. Whatever. Multiple reasons. And so, like, you go you go twenty years. You never met a you never met someone who thinks that way or believes that thing. And then you walk out into the world. You start going to different places, and you just start meeting folk who believe different things than you, feel a different way. And you're like, well, that's that seems like an alright person. And

and then you're just like, well, what for whatever reason, how I grew up just made it feel like that this it was a caricature of sorts. Not intentional even, But, like, because you don't know anybody who's been in that type of situation or with that belief system or or feeling or whatever, it starts to make you question whether the things you knew from before were were right or not. Now here's the thing. Your world just got deeper. You have to reckon with the world where here's the things you you were taught. Here's the things you believe. Here's the things you feel like god, like, saw that god is communicating, and then it got deeper because there's a person in front of you in a situation that you're not familiar with that you never had a chance to think through it, even thought through at all when you were younger, deeper.

It doesn't mean the thing you knew already isn't true. It means how that how that applies to the world, how it looks like to be a person who believes this thing and interacts with a deepening world. Like, it means that your world got deeper. But, like, I've met and and dealt with people who they ran into that thing and they turned around and go, you know what? Then everything I knew from before must have been garbage. Mhmm. It's all gone. And you just flipped it. Now I'm gonna tell you that whatever new world you think you just interacted with, it's shallow because you have to reckon with all the stuff that you saw when you were growing up. All the things that were true, the holy spirit moving in people's lives, the differences in the situations you're in, the love and service of the church. Like, you can't just throw that out and go, well, here's the brand new reality. Your world got deeper, and it's a much it's it's a maturing adult thing to have to reckon with a deepening world and asking Jesus for help in that. And

so I I think we just have to be cautious about how we think about those types of things and, like, what we what we are preparing our kids for. It doesn't mean you dunk them in all the in whatever cesspool you can find and go, see, the world's deep, son. Right. Like, but it it does mean that we have to be careful about recognizing how deep the world gets and helping people deal with the depth of the world as opposed to setting someone up to completely dismiss what their foundation was because there's a whole unfamiliar world out there that has no she doesn't seem to have a relevance to what they grew up with. I think that's

something that as as I get closer to, like, the possibility of being a father happening anytime, you know, soon. That terrifies me. Is is I honestly don't know what that truthfully looks like in in parenting of doing everything you can to raise your children in in the love and understanding of Christ and the presence of the holy spirit and glorifying the father as you can. And then there being a point when

not to say you had total control up until the time they turned 18, and then you just, like, go bye, but, like, you can't you can't save them from the world. Dan's turned a couple out into the world and go, well That's what I'm saying. It's like it it worries me from that perspective. It's like, what is that how do I how do I even know that my fathering of my children is gonna be anything but me just doing my best to not fail at everything and and screw them up less than I was screwed up. Like, I feel like I hear that all the time when it comes to being a parrot is, oh, you just do your best to not screw them up as much as you were screwed up. I wanna do better than that, man. I wanna say that is the legit output of the kids in my youth group. Yeah. That's exactly how what that looks like. Way to go, parent. Right. And and I want more than that. And, like, that scares the crowd because I I don't wanna turn out a a a little bit better than me. Yeah. Like, I want them to know who god is, and and that scares the crap out of So there had to been that moment for you, Dan. Like, kids go off to college or whatever when you're just like, right now,

I no longer Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Am able to shape it the way I used to. And and part part of the part of doing this, I think, successfully, I mean, they still have to catch it. I mean, so it's not like you do it this, and it's gonna work. Yeah. But I had to keep an eye on what you were saying. There there's the wider world. There's stuff out there. There is a world that I'm not personally exposing them to, but I know either they have been or will be. Yeah. And, you know, it's there, so it's not like they can escape the realities of what's out there. So while trying to protect their innocence as a parent, you know, you would introduce the fact that it's out there in

a way that was understandable, relatable to their age without, you know, doing some of the stuff that some of the schools are doing these days. And and you man, you surround that with prayer. That that's the that you you know, I mean, that's the cliche answer, but but it's like, man, I prayed a lot. And now I'm praying for a grandchild, you you know, and then whatever influence I have there. And and but, yeah, it's it's frightening thinking you're you're sending them out into this world of where there is an enemy who wants to devour them. And

in a world where many are in full process of being devoured, you know Right. And and saying, how do you build that character that says, yeah, the whole world's going this way. I'm gonna still I wanna be I always related it to, like, the if you were a child of Noah? You know, somehow they made it on the boat when literally none of their friends were living like them. Right? I mean, there wasn't like mean, you're right. Everybody else is doing it differently. Right? So just pretend I'm Manoa and and you're my child. Said that multiple times. Multiple times. Oh, man. And so that was just in the back of their mind that that just because all the cool people are doing whatever, maybe they're wrong. You know? You know? And and I didn't down grade them. I didn't, you know, slam them or anything. I just, you know, just follow the scripture. Keep your eye on them. Yeah. Yeah. I think I've just I've I've been a witness to, I don't even know how to say it, the bubble popping. Yeah. Like, I've I've I've seen the the spiritual bubble

that was created around a child for years and years and years of protection and well meaning protection from I'm I'm trying to keep you from the filth of this world Mhmm. Pop. And then it's just like, oh, that's a rush. I I I can't even imagine that. Like, I I went to public school, and I had plenty of run ins with the world before I turned 18 and all that stuff. I can't imagine being one that didn't. And it's crazy to me, but I it's a tightrope, I guess, between trying to figure out how to protect them, but then also how how to I hate the word expose, but, like, educate them. I like d I'd like that that word deep and keeps getting to me because, it it is a reality. It's not a it's not just a it's not a faceless fact. Right. What they're running into It's the world. And this is this is where I think, actually, you're seeing a lot of people from a reformed background who are either leaving the faith or turning, like, what you would call very progressive. Yeah. It's because they they

you you spend all your time in books, and you you got very firm understanding of, like, oh, I submit to God. I submit to a spouse and, I do the thing and I'm a sinner and everybody knows I'm a sinner. We all agree we're all sinners here. And then and then it just you start meeting people. Right. And, like, you will love people. God has put it in you to love people. And so you're gonna start making relationships with folks with from that come from different backgrounds and different situations, and and it's gonna start opening your eyes. You're like, this isn't everybody was a cartoon to you. Right. Like, when you grew up in a in a Christian situation where, like, all those other things are, like, so easily,

they have the twisty mustaches and I'd and we don't. Jesus people know mustache. Everyone else mustache. And then you're like, well, these people have the same problems I have. And they've and that person had a rough background for the parents, I sympathize with that. And it looks like that person got burned by the church, like, legit. Something in a church caused that person to be all burned up. And so you you start going, I feel like I missed something. Mhmm. Like like, I just got I got given the pamphlet with all the good news, and I never read the underlying contract. And so so then what you start doing is you start giving up stuff, but, like, here's the thing. Jesus gets in your crawl, and he won't leave. And so you start hanging on to little sinews, but you're like, but there has to be room for dealing with these situations that I don't think were included. That's a failure. That's a church failure. It's a human failure to properly reflect Jesus gather and what we think and what we talk about because, like, your world the complications of getting deeper should be our business.

That was Jesus' business. It was very easy to show up and call balls and strike. Overly religious. You're out. You what you just you'll take rescue. You know that you need it. Hands up. You're in. Like, very easy he could do that. But what who is he doing? Like, you look at these different groups of people. He's reaching for the deep. He's the deeper whale man. He's going around and finding, here's what it looks like to get rid of the basics things and start the complication of the lady at the well, the complication of the of the woman caught in adultery in Johnny. Like, the complication of religious folks who don't know quite what to do with them, the and the I'm blanking the guy who comes in the middle of the night. Oh, Nicodemus. Nicodemus. Right? Like, he's complicated. Yeah. Joseph of Arimathea is complicated. The ladies following him around and funding us in ministry. These are comp these are deep these are deepening things. And so I like, I say all that to say, if if we think about where there's a frustration at times, we're like, what are all these people? They feel like they're bailing

from orthodoxy here, and they're and they're letting things infiltrate. I might submit to you that part of that is because orthodoxy has not always been rightly in the business of deepening. They shouldn't happen to be let it in.

We should be going out. Mhmm. We should be looking out and making and and and so, like, these don't seem like foreign concepts. It doesn't mean that there's not complications with, like, well, this person says they feel and and believe this way about themselves or about something else. And Jesus, as far as we can tell, still doesn't align with that. That's a complication, but we should be in the deep on things like that so that you don't feel like you got sold a bill of bill of goods and that there's a whole new world out there that you were deprived of. The thing is you're still treating them like cartoons. That's the part that you're missing. Right? Like, the

more you get the deeper you get to know people, the more you realize that that that what they're choosing are outputs of mess, are outputs of complete mess. And, like, use you you get one step in and go, they've got it all figured out. They know a thing that I don't. That's true. That's still cartoons. They like, you're still looking them as if they're a two d character in your world, but, like, get to really know them. It's coming from mess. Right. That's where it's coming from. Mhmm. And so, like, God gave you the the the the opportunity Scripture and the eyes of the Holy Spirit to

see mess and to avoid it. And then when you meet folks that are like, they believe something completely opposite of God, nine out of ten, ninety nine out of a 100, it was born out of mess and it came from mess, and now it's just mess growing up. And so don't it's you're

them less than. You're looking them as if they're a cartoon example of these different other ways to be, and, like, what you're missing is actually knowing them. Because if you were to get in there, what you're gonna find out is that is is someone told them a lie and they believed it. Or may maybe they told themselves a lie and believed it. And they've been operating off a mess for years. And and, like, you have to get to know somebody to know whether that's true or not. Yeah. Yeah. To to find someone that believes something different than you, where it feels like it opened your eyes, it comes with this belief that, well, they have the world figured out. They've sorted and they've taken in both sides and they've ended up here. That often isn't the case. They often didn't take in whatever your foundation was. They they they were grasping. They were looking for something to hold on to. They didn't hold on to Jesus, but they found something that gave them definition or identity. They found a they found a finger hold on a mountain. They didn't find a chair. Right. Right? They didn't find a comfortable bed. They found something that could hold them up under their own steam, and right now, it's working. And for the and for the first five minutes of holding yourself up by the finger holds, you are ecstatic. Finally, I got something. You're like, at least I got something to hold on to, and you know what? This feels darn good. And then and then ten minutes in, you're like, my arm hurting a little bit. And fifteen minutes in, the bird come flying by pecking at you. Now you got an itch, and you're like, you know what? This isn't holding very well. You know what I'm saying? Like and and the problem is is, like, you have to look at somebody so shallowly

to walk past them in the first five minutes and go, man, look how much adventure and awesomeness and greatness they have. They've got this all figured out. You know? And, like, you're you're no you have no idea about the mess, and you didn't care enough to ask. And then you went off and made a bunch of decisions based on a half of a story you know and and and miss all the hurt and pain that comes from being the guy hanging from the rock. Yeah. You know, like, it's I'm just saying, like, you you don't actually love people like it. Like, I'm and I'm talking to to Christian folks that are struggling with cultural things that you feel like are like like like Christianity is not handling well or we're not loving towards, and and, like, I'm with you. We got a bad attitude about loving people and loving them holistically and loving them well. And, like, I I would say that we get we get nailed with that a lot and and it's true half the time. Right? We could do better in this area. But at the end of the day, you really have to love somebody to and know them well to figure out and take some of the confidence off of the decisions that they've made and all of a sudden act like they know something that you don't. You have a personal relationship with the creator

of the world who has told you all the things you need to know to operate this world with joy and and peace and comfort and confidence to tell other people about the same good news you have. And you get tossed aside by one guy hanging from a rock whose forearm is burning, and you're like, man, he's living all the adventures. He's about to fall down Sounds like fun. From the adventures. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's difficult. But actually, it made me think about what was the the the cult business where you have people who lead other people and it's primarily based upon this this infallible authority.

You didn't expose the deep to anybody. You made it sound like you got the world figured out. Like, I'd much rather have my kids and the people who I've I've pastor to to recognize that I that I swim in deep. So, like, there isn't this impression that if they only know the things that I said to them, that they completely got sold a bill of goods on the view of the world. Like, it's just wrong. It's a it's and it gives the wrong perception of how the world works. And, like, if what you believe totally changes because you met someone in a situation that you never contemplated, then then, like, we're not we're not jumping on the the trampoline of faith here. Like, you just put a poster up on the wall and stared at it. And, like, I think we have to give it some room to breathe. And if we think if we think good news changes the world, good news still turns the world upside down positively for the kingdom,

then it should be out there there walking around and doing work and and not fear any situation that might occur. There's no personal environment or personal situation or background that could come to me and go like, well, you know what? Maybe Jesus isn't the lord. And it sounds silly to say that, but, like, because if we don't talk about or give people, whether it's kids or maturing kids or adults even, the ability to see, like, how Jesus interacts in those situations, then it makes it sound like, well, he lives over here. He he's Jesus is lord of white people with a median income.

Okay. False. False. Jesus Jesus is lord everywhere.

Where are we restricting that so that that message doesn't come through well? And where where do we need to make sure that we've not bound it in ways that it it ought not be bound? You're listening to life from the path. Hey. Before before we we move on to advice, I just hopefully, Mike's alright with this. I wanted to share this with you because, it just keeps sticking with me. Mike gave an example yesterday for worship, and, like, the image just just not shaken from my head. Mike, maybe maybe you say it, and then I will expand upon it.

Was it in the here's the thing is what I don't think you realize is I didn't actually give that example. You did. Oh, shoot. Brilliant. Well, Yeah. Had given I had I was self serving boov. Well, here's the thing is I was talking about worship and what it looked like and and and and a good way to think about it, and I and I had I had said my thing, and we're about ready to play a song, and Ben goes, that is an excellent example. And then he went on to explain something completely different that I didn't actually say. That absolutely did happen. I was there for that. It was exactly how that went down. And I was gonna interrupt him, and I thought, this is holy spirit time. It's not my business. Okay. I'm a stand this. Okay. So I'm a tell you so I wish I I just think this is I thought this was cool. And so maybe this is helpful to people. I appreciate that call out so much. Yeah. I thought I totally nailed this. Here we go. No. I thought you said it. Holy spirit talk through me. As far as far as I remember, this was your example. Spiritual authority. Does that even occur to me? I didn't think it was me. So what I heard you say

was that, like, as we're worshiping, like like, god works through worship in such a way that, like, it it allows how he is speaking, like, words of scripture or how he was speaking to to soak in. Like, there's something about singing to god or things that god has said

that that basically allow things to saturate in that you otherwise may not hit. And so what what what it felt like or what I heard you saying was basically that that this this act of of worship is is basically tilling of the ground. So so whereby by you submitting in an act of worship to god and singing something, it allows words and movement of god to soak into your life in places where it maybe it just bounced. Maybe it just wouldn't stick that way if someone just said it or if even if you were you were you read it on a sign somewhere or something. And so, like, by by participating in worship, you're basically volunteering. You're saying, I'm till me. Till up the ground so that whatever you have for me may soak in. And so not only did that stick with me when I thought about worship and, like, how active it is, not only as an offering back to God, but I think God is working in you in return for that worship. He's saying, great. Now I'm giving you more of me. Not more of delight because you were singing, not more of, oh, you're memorizing scripture with the words because that's great. It's it's in response to you offering worship to me, I will give you I'm making it a way, a means of which through you get more of me.

And then, like, that thought then expanded to me about, I think that's true in some way or another with almost all spiritual discipline type of thing. Like, as opposed to just going, like, what is what am I doing with prayer? Well, I'm I'm trying to have an interaction with God. I'm trying to to offer him something to open and create space in which God and I can be in relationship, but it feels like the same thing. By by by submitting in prayer, posturing in prayer, just taking thirty seconds, ten minutes, whatever it is, out for prayer, I it just feels like the physical act has a tilling effect that starts to stir and open up things and so that whatever god is moving in your life can soak in. And your Bible reading is the same way. What am I doing? Am I just taking in words? Like, you can take in all kinds of words, but there's something different about sitting and focusing time and saying,

I'm gonna read my Bible. And the very practice of opening up the app or opening up the the the Bible I have in front of me and turning a page, it just feels like the physical nature of it is has a tilling effect. And so I don't I don't wanna overstretch, like, the realities of of it, but, like, that that hit me very hard yesterday because it made me think it made me appreciate the acts of worship and spiritual disciplines and things that god gave us, not just as I will submit to it because god loves it and I wanna make god happy.

I I think there's something in there that says, in reaction to do these things that god called me to do, it almost creates like oh, I'm gonna use a I'm gonna use an elevated word here, but, like, it's it's almost an anointed moment. Like, there's something about doing that thing that then creates fresh ground for god to work with, whereas if someone was just talking scriptures, you walk by them, it might bounce. Does this does that make sense? Do you think part of it is because you're using both your left and right brain at the same time and it's just firing things that I mean, not to discount the Holy Spirit. No. The Holy Spirit had nothing to do with this. It's more of a physiological response. No. No. That's not what saying. I'm just saying, you know, that all works together. I mean, God sometimes God gives us tools Yeah. Because he knows how we work. Yeah. You know? You're unlocking some something that you

purely by emotion wouldn't get and purely by logic wouldn't get. Right. But you're melding them together and going, oh, and and The comma it's a combination of of emotion, logic, spirit, physical. Like, you're basically all all capacities is saying open. But it takes having to speak the thing. It takes having to turn the page and flip the app or bow the head or whatever it is. So That was just a thought. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I just like, maybe that just in case you anybody's listening, if you think about like, maybe you struggle with these things. I really struggle to read my bible or, like, I kinda sing quietly or or not at all when it's worship time. Prayer seems like I'm just standing there. I just if it helps to think about it, it's been helpful to me to think about, hey, man. It's it's still in time. By doing this thing, by dedicating this moment or these moments

to god in singing and worship or reading my bible or praying, it has the effect of breaking down barriers that I might be having to hearing and interacting with God for whatever he may have for me. And I like tilling soil so that seeds can fall through and not just bounce off me, my protective shell of life that just lets things kind of not soak in. That image just stuck with me. So that maybe, since Mike didn't intend to say it, maybe that was just for me alone. But whatever, in case it's helpful for anybody, I just it's still sticking with me, like, twenty four hours later. Yeah. I actually went back and watched the video. I'm like, did I say something like that? Just make sure the holy spirit didn't take over me, and I was yabbering without me knowing about it. And so I said I said something completely different. Ben's like, that's a great example. Yeah. Chill in the field. I'll have you know that I thought you said that. Like, I didn't say those exact words, but, like, that was the picture. Mike, your comment about agriculture

really made me think about Till in Fields. I really appreciate that. Anyway, I'm glad you've been a part of it, I guess. Well, it's like someone giving a a thirty minute sermon to some guy coming at the end and going, you know, that really changed the way I look at my reactions to my family. And he's like, what? What are you talking about? There's think they built on each other. They built on. They're like they're connected. Yeah. There's a common ground. Okay. Ready for some advice? Yep. Dear life from the past. I have recently discovered that for the last seven years or more, my husband has been lying to avoid conflict. Well, he's like, most dudes Yeah. That's not yeah. That sounds out That's right. Yeah. What he has been lying about greatly upsets me, but knowing he has lied about these things makes it worse than finding out the truth at the time things happened. Boy, this is vague to the maximum.

The lies are about his relationships with his female, quotes, friends. He has always had a wondering eye. He has lied so many times that I'm wondering what else he has lied about that I don't know about. I found out because he tells on himself without realizing what he has said. I'm now questioning our whole life together. We have now been together thirty one years, and I've been thinking our entire marriage has been built on lies. When I confront him about it, he says, he never said that, but he did say it. How do I live with a lying spouse? Maybe you should be more give more details. Jeez. This is kinda that's there's not much to go off of here. Yeah. You'd basically put a a blank poster on the wall and said, see that? Oh oh, I mean, maybe respond with, yeah. Since you gave us nothing, we're gonna go ahead and say, you should pray about your marriage. You should talk to your husband more, and maybe you should talk to someone else about your marriage with your husband. Did he cheat on you? Is that what we're getting at? Did he The nature of her his female friendships, I think, maybe? I don't know. Maybe they're just, like, inappropriate friendships but not quite cheating.

I mean, if if there's a distinction If I'm questioning our whole life together and I'm thinking our entire marriage has been built on lies, if you've now found out that he has cheated on you, then, yes, your entire marriage has been built on lies. Yeah. There's no if and or but about that. That's what's happening. She doesn't actually know that. I'm gonna I'm gonna guess she overreacts to things. Yeah. And that's his he's nor he's used to that. So rather than have her overreact to whatever, did you put mustard on your burger? No. I did not. And there's yellow dripping off it. You know? He just doesn't tell the truth. Statement of To avoid the conflict. Without realizing it sounds incredibly like, I think I know what he's saying. Yeah. But may and maybe he his eye wonders, but there's a lot. There's a big difference in your eye wandering and having an affair. Right. Not that I'm not acknowledge I'm not, you know, saying it's okay to have a wandering eye. I'm I'm but I'm just saying that maybe she's overreacting. Maybe. Mhmm. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Write us another letter.

Yeah. Yeah. Here's the deal. Like We take repeats. We'd like to give good advice that is based on solid scriptural understanding and overall love for people. There's just not enough here to speak any type of wisdom into. Right? Like, if you found out your your husband should not be lying to you, that's true. We don't believe that lying is a good defense mechanism for a spouse that overreacts. Right. Now, if you have not always been this way and you've, like, become this way and, like, you are very harsh on everything that he does,

do I understand why he would want to do something like that? Like, let's say that he works in an office building and is doing a project with Bernice and you would flip out about this, but he is the sole breadwinner in your house and must do projects with Bernice. Right. Yeah. You've put him in a pickle and he's probably lied to you about it, and I don't think that was probably the way to go.

But I I would understand it a little bit more than the complete vagaries that you've presented. I'm just saying, like, there's the the actual story would help clear up where some of this is coming from. Thirty one years together also, if done poorly, is a long time to pack on a lot of emotional baggage and damage and ability to misunderstand, like, statements and, you know, misrepresent quotes from your husband or all that kind of stuff. Like, there there's a chance that this is just way out of whack because of a lot of junk, and it can't really be unpacked here. Yeah. Anything else, Phyllis? Pray.

No. Solid. Singular says, solid marriages are built on trust. Unfortunately, yours is lacking in that department. Your first task is to determine whether you want to remain married to a lying husband. Who

attempts That's the first task? Wait. Who attempts to gaslight you by denying he has said something you clearly heard. It would be in your best interest to schedule some sessions with a licensed counselor who can help you to gain enough emotional strength to make that decision rationally rather than emotionally. If you decide to end your marriage, discuss this with an attorney before informing your husband so he or she can guide you in the process. Wow. Secular has the easiest job on the planet. Yeah. You should get a divorce. And if you decide not to, you should do counseling. Thanks. I I go yeah. Do the counseling because the counselor Right. Is also gonna see if you're overreacting. Yes. Yeah. Totally. You know, they'll be more objective. Mediator and communication. That's fantastic. I I'm now I do wonder. Are there there, like, non, like, licensed people who could just, like, you can just have to do mediation? There are people out there. Not like mediators. Not like professional mediators. Know? Like a friend or Yeah. I'm just well, it's like, it can't be an associate because, like, really, most Yeah. Most marital problems don't require

some of that some of that deep skill that people have. They just need someone to go That's okay. You're listening to your own voice over here, and I know you're listening to your own voice over here, and you think both of each other are dumb. Can let me tell you, you actually sound wrong here. Hey, man. If you're needing someone like that, might I recommend a call to the live from the Path Complete line? Yeah. Yeah. I do believe that that at that number, there may be someone that may not have all the licensure that you think you need, but may have the ability to go, I think you're hearing that wrong. Yeah. Let's let's play that one back on it. I like to assume that no matter who's asking me for advice, they they are the root of the problem. I think that might be twelve years of dear life from the past. I like to start there, and they could convince me out of it. But I like to start with the fact that you I think you're probably to blame Just to set our common ground. You're wrong. Yeah. Prove it to me that you're not. So so this gal comes to us and and sits down across the the table.

You know, there's there's questions you you ask, like, can you give me some specific Like like, what has he lied about and what did he really do? Right. You know? And and then start unpacking some of that. Yeah. And because it does matter. Yeah. Absolutely. And then ask him, why did you why did you lie? You know, well, because she was gonna overreact because she Thirty one years ago, her her their marriage didn't start with her perceiving him as lying and everything Right. And telling on himself. Right. There's a lot of stuff that has led to her fully believing that he is telling on himself and that there are lies that exist. And let's be honest. We're lazy, guys. Absolutely. We are. Mean, and in relationships, we're lazy. So, you know, if it's a lot easier to just say, no. I didn't eat yesterday rather than say,

I ate that cookie. Yeah. Right. I didn't even eat. Never mind. I find myself more often than not saying, no. That didn't bother me. And that's that's the lie that I tell. It's like, oh, yeah. No. That that wasn't rude. Yeah. That didn't bother me in any way or form. Because it's way easier to just be on the other side of that wasn't rude other than saying Then you gotta wade through all this stuff. Let's talk about why it was rude. That sucks. Yeah. Actually, that's true. Boo was convicting me right here. Like, I will tell lies to avoid getting into some kinda Even if I was the one affronted. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. Well, because it feels like you can't it's you don't know how to sort it out. Especially, like, the longer you're married, the more you see the same thing coming. You've been talking about the same for a decade or two. Right. You're two decades in and you're like, you know, if I say this, she's gonna say this and I say this, she's gonna we still we've disagreed on this for fifteen years and so, you know, no. That no. I'm fine. I'm not irritated at all. Yeah. Am. But, no, I'm not. And he's going, okay. I noticed she's probably a 36 c, but if I say that, that's gonna offend her because she's gonna think I'm thinking things. And I'm like, I just I just hey, man. I just thought that. Right. That's a real situation where if I see somebody on the side of the road that I know has a wacky outfit on, I sometimes don't mention it because I don't want it to turn into a, hey, man. Were you looking over there? What were looking at that for? Yeah. Because my eyes were in that direction, and she was wearing a panda suit. I mean Sorry. Like,

head to Why are you looking at that lady? She was in a panda suit. You've always been attracted to pandas, haven't you? Dang it. I have been. Skin tight's alright. What do you think, baby? Okay. That's the thing though. I would never let a dude pass. Like, if I pass if I pass the dude in a panda suit, I'm like, look at that Mongolian rocking that panda suit. Look at that crazy man. That is insane. Even a straight up naked dude. I'd like, woman, naked dude. Check it out. No I looked over there the whole time. Did you see that naked woman? I see no naked woman. What? There was a lady in the in the vicinity? I didn't notice. I was counting windshield wiper clicks. Yeah. Yeah. I just saw the girl with the turtleneck. I don't know. That wasn't a turtleneck? I was pondering whether, you know, can the defrost here? That's what I was wondering.

Sometimes I like to whisper back to it. Right. See, now this is this goes back to our do you evangelize? You're pulling stuff. I'm like, I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that because it could be get get me into trouble. Yeah. Crap. I might I might not be as honest as I think. I mean, I think I'm pretty honest. But but, like, the question, like, hey. Are you upset? No. Everything's fine. Because, you know, I will get over it faster than this conversation will take. Like, I will I will go, you know what? I actually was upset, but I was wrong, and I know I was wrong. So if you would just let five minutes pass, I'll get over this thing pretty fucking good. Deal, man. And it's you will take a sixty second dig into the way that I think about it, not going any further than that. My whole thought process is I don't deserve to bring up that something has been wronged against me is because I am a general boob in most situations

and could be called upon as being an idiot all the time. And so I could call her out on the one thing and go, well, yeah, that did aggravate me a little bit or that annoyed me for a second. But then I have to reckon with, she literally lives with me and puts up with me on the daily, and I am dumber than a bag of rocks. And so it's not worth it to bring up the one thing. I'm not worth that thought, and so that's where I run into it. So I don't know if it's me trying to avoid honesty or me just trying to judge myself way too harshly. I don't know. It might be a combination. Well, I so I think there is there is just think about it. Their general position towards the advice is that, like, I think at its core, I would look at it and say, I know I'm wrong in here somewhere. Even if I've been offended Right. I'm probably overly reacting. Like, is it worth saying something? Yes. For the health of your marriage, it's worth saying something. Because if someone loves you, they would wanna know that they've said something that's offensive to you. They might not even noticed it. It probably isn't worth whatever you feel invested in it in that first thirty seconds. I had to in fact, was on my way here to the show tonight, and I I had to apologize to my wife. I was cranky. I was supposed to she got up early, and

we got chickens. And someone needs to take care of the chickens early. I start work, like, 8AM or so. And once I'm in working, like, I'm generally not free for three or four hours. The chickens have to be taken care of. So if I don't get up with any space and time, it's basically, I wanna take care of chickens. And what it feels like to her is like, oh, well, you just, you know, you sleep. Just sleep as late as you want to, and then you can avoid doing the chickens. Now that wasn't my motivation. Frankly, we went to bed at, like, 2AM, but we both went to bed at 2AM. And so, you know Right. Like so she she there was she was right. She was right. Like, hey. This felt this felt rough. I I don't know. Maybe I don't love how she brought it up. But the reality was that she was probably right. But then, like, here's the thing. That feeds into like, that feeds into all kinds of other things in which you're probably sensitive about in your marriage, especially sensitive about someone who knows enough for you to be sensitive about it. Like, you can't put you can't put on this woman that you've been around. She's well aware of your behavior. And so when you get away with, like, you maybe maybe well, not this room. But, like, you know, oh, yeah. And I'm not normally late, and so sorry about that. People can just write it off. Your lady knows that you late all the time or that you really did buy 13 donuts and then showed up at twelve. Like, she knows this stuff. And so

I think that's that's the hard part is that I think you do need to be able to share it, but you probably always need, like, a good buffer that says, do I not share it as a return punch? I share it as a alright. Now that I've accepted because I think you should accept where I'm either overreacting or should own whatever this offense is. And yet, this I took it in rough. Part of it was maybe how you approached it. And so, totally, I hear what you're saying. I might take it in better if you tried something like this. Smooth the edges insert internally for a second then bring it out. And it may or may not let and, like, I still feel like you're gonna spend time it's just a dude, fellows are pragmatic. And we go, I can we can talk about this for twenty minutes, but, like, in all reality, I'm gonna say that that's that was kind of offensive, and she's gonna go, I don't know why you found that so offensive.

And And then I'm wrong on the other end. And so maybe I just don't spend twenty minutes on it. You know? Especially if you know you're gonna lose. I don't know how many times I thought I when I started discussion, and I'm like, one minute in, I'm like, I'm beat. Gotta get out of this thing. I was right I was she was right the whole time. I gotta I gotta stop. Yeah. Hey, man. I'm definitely not speaking on a on a level of authority in marriage. I'm in, like, two years in, but, like, best ways those ever come out is by starting my I don't even wanna call it a grievance, annoyance by talking about how I can how empathizing about where her brain probably was when it happened and just go, okay. This happened, and I think this might be where you were at,

but this is where I was. But I've I've I've fully considered where I know you were. And and tell me if I'm wrong here, but, like, on the other end, this is where it felt. Does that does that have any ground with where you're feeling? Like, do you get where I'm coming from of where I know where you were at, but here's where I felt it, and does that make sense? Think so. Of the best conversations I've ever had with my wife is going. Dangerous to me. Oh, you think you know me? See You don't know me at all. I I have grace thinking as I close to being there. No. And here's the deal. I have grace in this because I married an angel on earth, and that woman gets my brain more than anyone ever has in my entire life. And she goes, okay. That's nowhere near where I was at, actually. Thanks for trying. I appreciate that you attempted to get where I'm at, but let me tell you where I was at. But it wasn't really an attempt, was it? It was showered in you and you only, and here's why. Because she knows my heart on it well enough. And and this is why I'm saying in some conversation, I'm certainly not a a a practitioner of this at all times and could talk on authority. I can say think it's probably a good way to bring things up. I've never tried that route. I've just gone with the accusatory. Yeah. I I was really good at that the first six months because anytime I did bring it up, I was like, oh, yeah. I got some beef. Like, my wife isn't perfect after all. Alright, man. Here's where I was at. But now I'm into it a little bit more, and I'm just okay. I know that that wasn't meant to be this way. How was it meant to be, and how did I take it? Well, I mean, if I bring it up from that perspective, that's not like me jabbing at her. That's me going, okay. Your heart was here, and I know it was because I know you. I married you. I know your mind. I know your heart. This is where I was. There was some there was some shaky ground in there. In boobery land where I live. You know, actually, I will tell you though that I think that is one of the risks in longer. Like, the longer you're married, like, you have to give your spouse the freedom to to change,

to be different. Like, one of the risks that you run is you're fifteen years I don't know how long I've been married. Sixteen years? Something something like that. And, like, there's probably if my wife says something, especially something that might be offensive to me Right. Like, I got know in back of my mind, I'm like, yeah. This is what she's this is what she's after. This is what she thinks. Now it's probably maybe it's something we've been talking about for a long time. I've been trying to say, look here. That's not you shouldn't think that way. That's not really true or blah blah blah. But, like, I don't give her any motivation to change if I don't give her the space to change by not just assuming that that's what she's doing. And so, like, sometimes, that have married for a while, they're hair trigger because they because, again, you see a conversation about seven steps ahead and you're like, know where this is going. Here's the thing. Chess game before. The the because, like, well, I know this person, and we've gone down this path before. But legit like, you can't how could I change? What motivation is it for me to grow from the last a 150 conversations we had about this and try to react differently if you're gonna tag me with it anyway? Yeah. You know what saying? So, like, unfortunately, fellas, I think we probably can't bail on those conversations because you can't actually

either have change or witness it if you presume that whatever even if you've had that same thing a 100 times. Mean, if you want if you want it to go away, to grow and mature, you're gonna have to let it play out one on one to see if it to see if it moves. Because I I know that, like like, there's there's been times when my life is like like, I know you, and I know this is what you think. And I'm like, I don't think that. I have never thought that. You guys forgot to let that go, but she's got it in her mind that that's what I think. And I probably have done the same thing to her. And then, like, an innocuous statement that shows up over here, you're like, I know what this is about. This is about that thing again. And, like, it could be, but I don't know that. Right. And but, like, familiarity often gives us license

to, like, start like, you start sorting things out. If you like, if you're a person who solves problems, you can walk into a room and you just start seeing buckets. Like, okay. You got a people problem. You got a process problem. The electricity is not working. Blah blah blah. You start just sorting things out right away because you've done it before. And so you you you run the risk in conversations in your marriage. You're kinda doing the same thing. Okay. That's about her mom. That's yeah. It just feels inadequate in this way or another, and she thinks I think this person's prettier than her. Like, whatever. You just start sorting conversations out, and it's not fair. It's not fair because now you've reinforced your belief, and so it just seems more and more true every time you think it. And it might have been not true the second time it occurred to you, but you just started using the buckets, and then you don't give you lose the ability to grow as a couple. And so it's a risk, says Ben to Ben. You you gotta you gotta let the stuff you gotta let the stuff play out. Yeah. Was gonna prompt you dear life in the past. It's it's always best to to marry a woman who is right Because then you can just at the start of every argument, you go, nope.

You're wrong about this dude. You better figure out a way to figure out where you're at on that directly. Somebody should have mentioned that to me before I got married. I'll have to listen to the show. Last one. Last one. Here we go. Dear life from the path, I had a friend I adored. She was someone I had known for over twenty years, but I had to say goodbye to her. I realized she is a shoplifter and also and

also doesn't tip at restaurants. When she shoplifted, I was with her. I had no idea she was doing it until we got back to the car and one of the items fell out of her bag. I was appalled. I told her never do it again when we were together, and I have tried not to shop with her since. I realized she wasn't leaving tips when her receipt blew away with a gust of wind. She was in the restroom when I picked it up and saw there was no tip for the server who was working very hard. I told her I didn't feel comfortable going places with her under these circumstances, especially with how things have changed during COVID.

The last straw was when I caught her trying to sneak into a musical event. There are musicians in my family, and I know how how they and others have struggled during these hard times. She has more than enough money to cover these costs. I don't understand why she does it. The problem is I feel guilty. Should I reach out and suggest we do things that don't involve music, restaurants, or shopping? Maybe we can just go for walks and talk. I miss her friendship. You're gonna find out she doesn't recycle. Okay. I'm a Who are you? Nelson Mandela? I'm a go ahead and go out on a limb here and say, you're probably one of those people that I have to love, but I I don't think I'm gonna like, and I'm be real honest about that. Also, I don't write the tip on my own receipt that I Sounds sticking. You don't know what Right. She wrote I write those on there. Merchant copy. I write the tip on the receipt that goes to them so that they know what to take. Yeah. Not the one I take away because I don't maybe I just don't have that level of commandment of my finances that I'm not keeping the $3 tip I put on my doughnut today. This is a woman who still keeps the check register after writing one at the Walmart. Yeah. Yeah. Still writes them stuff in the back. So one that no. You do that, Dan? No. No. Okay. You did you kinda did a then I thought, well, shoot. Maybe Dan writes checks. No. One of my best friends took advantage of the fact that I was in a wheelchair for a while,

and I found out that he was using my wheelchair to steal stuff from places we were going to. What? And I found that out by setting off the alarm at an FYE at the mall because he had snuck Ozzy Osbourne's discography into my wheelchair. Yeah. And then I set off the alarm and then flew

through the rest of the mall, and he is one of my best friends to this day. Wait. Did you you evaded like, you ran I evaded the stands of the of the security guards by I mean, I booked it out of that mall in my wheelchair. I was You didn't say, oh gosh. I have something I haven't paid for. Maybe I should go back in and give it back to them? I was 16 at the time. You're just wondering turbos on I did not put the turbos on it because what I thought at the time was is that he walking out with me had stolen something. Not that I was the one who had the the the So at best The contraband. You're an accomplice. Yes. At best, I'm an accomplice. You're part of the crime. Without a doubt, part of the And you wonder why you've been called to appear. And I'm here. I've I've tried to amend my ways. I'm here so that I can own up to that f y e purchase for Engelringer. Non purse non purchase. You're you're weird. Think I think this is a situation where you're looking for a reason to, like, hate on people. You're probably paranoid about yourself. Now hold on a minute. Let me let me ask Twenty years of friendship. Let's take these Talkatory. Let's take these things separately.

Let's say you were going out with a friend of yours, and they're constantly shoplifting while they're with you. What is the right reaction? However but that doesn't seem like the situation here. She's saying that she caught her once, and twenty years of friendship is broken because of I think the implication is that she caught her once. Doesn't feel comfortable going places with her under these circumstances, especially with how things have changed during COVID. K. I thought I thought shoplifting was a problem pre COVID. I was wrong. The opportunity for shoplifting has really either increased or decreased based on the COVID. I actually think it's harder. There's not as many people out in the place. I think she's saying economically, you should tip your servers because of COVID.

Is that was pre server discussion. No. I think that's where the COVID conversation comes in is because she's saying with the economic term craziness, you should tip your servers. I caught her trying to not steal from musicians. I caught her trying to sneak into a musical event like you were working security there, or you were there with her and she tried to bolt the gate to you or I have have several musicians in my family. Buy a chicken? Yeah. Right. I mean, you were there together. And, you know, you're waiting in line to go, and she just starts scaling the fence. Yeah.

Yeah. It is weird. I'm picturing these people, like, 75 years old. Right. Maybe they're not. I don't trust any of this. I don't trust any of this person's breakdown of what's happening. All of it is told in such a comedic fashion. I can't twenty years of friendship, I caught her one time and said, never again. Right. I mean, she 40? Oh, I I suppose what is let's say let's say you met her when you were five. She could be 25 or she could 40. Either way She could be many ages. This is a Sailor Killed episode, isn't it? Now hold on. You didn't answer my question, You go out to you're you're going out with a friend, and that friend is constantly shoplifting while you're out. What do you do? Hey, man. Put that back. And they say, no. I'm not gonna I I put this in your wheelchair. If I if it was an actual situation where the the person has been I've talked to them multiple times, and they're just straight up klepto and will not stop. Yeah. I think there's a level where you can go, I don't think I'm gonna hang out with you or go to retail stores anymore. Yeah. Like, we can't go to the Walmart together anymore because I've seen you steal that same floor mat four times, Karen. Yeah.

I still got one for the back of the minivan to go. Help me get the double. I watched you steal my birthday present this year. I can't do it anymore. Yeah. Okay. So she if if was the background, she might be justified in saying, look. I'm not going out. Yes. I'm not going out with you. We can only go for walks at the park where I find out that I don't appreciate how you treat the the recycling situation. Now server server tipping. One, she doesn't know whether she tips or not. She's taking a weird piece of evidence. Right. But secondly Are you Dutch treating the meal, or is she covering the whole bill? Yes. Dutch treat. I don't care. Just over tip to make up for her cheapness. Yeah. Would you spy on your other person's tip and then, like, over tip? I always ask. What how much are you putting on that thing? $3. $3? Crap. Yeah. Alright. I'll go wingding. You cheap directs more. I'll cover 7. Yeah. I will I will I will tip more if I assume the person I'm with is cheap

and they're not tipping well. Yeah. Being cheap over there, Jim? If you can do just just tip some more regardless anyway. But So that the cheap tip thing, like, that's a different problem. It's not a default character. Some people are just skin flinty. There ain't nothing you can do about it. Some people are just skin flinty. Yeah. That's that's not a room to to part company. Like, we're done being friends because you don't like to throw a tip. I mean, they get paid or what I mean, I ain't gonna argue with about this. I'll give them $8. You give them 3. Whatever. We're good to go. I'm trying to imagine the upbringing of this person that has brought up three issues with this twenty year long friend that are all basically financially based. It is stealing stuff. It is not tipping enough, and it is shiesting musicians. And so I'm wondering if the friend was just brought up in a cheapo life, which is flat out how some people are, and you were brought up some straight up, like, you know, Martha's Vineyard life where everything was in excess and everyone should always get what they're paid. Yeah. Sometimes you just got cheapos in your life. I mean, that's a real that's a real perverse dichotomy you've presented. Of course it is. One says You're lying from the past. Was John Kerry over here in his private jet all the time versus it might be okay to steal because you were poor. Like, those are two lie I never said you're giving a pass on stealing. I'm just saying it's a weird thing that these three things you've brought up after twenty years of friendship, which all technically so far have only you saw only said you've seen once of each three.

And now you're you're in a place where you're, I miss my friend, and I'm ready to abandon I thought your friend died at the beginning of this, but it just turns out you don't like the way the tip. You're sick of them stealing around you, which you've only said you've seen once. And they snuck into a music festival, which we are still not sure about the premise of. Now hold on. Now let's just hold on. We didn't take Box 3. Let's say you're going you go to music events often, and every time Rhoda is trying to hop to fence, sneak underneath the turnstile, put a trench coat over her face, and walk in with Aerosmith. I would flat out tell security. You would say, hey. If it's been a multiple time situation where, like, hey, man. We went to this concert last week, and we went to that band place a month and a half ago. And I remember this maybe six months ago. You have snuck into every single one. We're at that festival. I will tell security on you. Yeah. I've told you, hey. Stop. Because at that point, I didn't invite you to come to this concert with me or I'm an idiot.

In that situation, you found out that I was going to some kind of musical situation and then went, yeah, buddy, and tried to hop over me I can get in past it. Nuh-uh. I wouldn't be susious out in the parking lot. Hey, man. I see you. You got tickets to to into the Doobie Brothers? Yeah. Show me your ticket right now or we're not walking in. I got them. I got them in purse. We'll get them out of the gate. No. We ain't getting them out no gate. Right. I don't believe you for nothing. When she shows up with her grand funk for free t shirt, you're like, I don't think this is gonna go Yeah. How I expected. Why are you wearing that Subo outfit? Hey. I see your button that says I never pay for band merch. I don't like what you're doing. So well, I mean, can't you solve couldn't you solve this problem less aggressively? Couldn't you just say, look, you're you're allowed. Dude, I'll totally go shopping with you. If you steal something, I will make a scene and make sure everyone knows you killed it. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. No. Totally. You can come to this show with you. If I see you try to get in for free, I will totally rat you out. If you still wanna come under those terms, go ahead. And if you've been, like, legitimate friends for twenty years where it feels like a passing of a friend when you stop hanging out with them, you are definitely in a place where you can look them in the face and go, I will call the cops if I watch you walk around walk out of here with anything. Yeah. Right. This is an insult to me as a paying customer. You're saying, I pay $45 to get to this festival, and you hop to gate. You know how how that negates my $45? I it's I should be insulted, not the band. Me. Right. Because I paid full price to get in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think this is totally fine. And you're right. The Boot was right. If this is that that close of a friendship, I think you owe to them not to bail. I think you just stick with it and be real irritating. Yeah. You gotta be a good Stop stealing. Good person here. Yeah. Wow. Okay. The question was let's see. Should I reach out and suggest we do things that don't involve music, restaurants, or shopping? Maybe we could just go for walks and talk. I miss her friendship.

Secular says, I don't advise that. The woman you quote miss, I hesitate to refer to as your friend, is selfish, stingy, dishonest, self centered, and lacks compassion for others. You need her in your life like a moose needs a hat rack. Find walking companions who are caring, generous, and honest with whom to get your steps in. Secular got a bonus for that moose and hat rack comment. There's no doubt about it. There's a $50, like, editor's bonus to that statement. The second there's been reading Morris the Moose goes to school with the grandchildren. Yeah. Yeah. There's a group of farmers at the local gas station getting a chuckle about that comment right now, and that's about as far as it's gonna go. First okay. Second Get of a divorce and get some counseling. I hesitate to refer to Self centered, stingy, dishonest,

selfish, lacks compassion for others. I you know, first of all, these are these are like these are humorous crimes to me. That's unfortunate. I mean, these are not these are not like like like drug peddling felonies. You didn't find out they stabbed their husband fifteen years ago. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I mean, you you put an almond joy in your purse. You hop the gate to Aerosmith. And, like, you'd feel like you people gotta earn their tip, and then you ain't seen it yet. So you gotta stick with nothing. Well, I think before before you pursue

this relationship, make sure they're paying for their Netflix. You know, make sure that I mean Yeah. These are weird people. Penny of the taxes, you know, that that they've never taken a pen from work. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. What are you not evaluating at? W two versus what you know they have, and you will never speak to this person again. Yeah. Donated 3,000 to goodwill. You did not. At goodwill. You stole stuff from that. What do you think those socks are worth? Rhonda, I

Rhonda, I'm sorry you woke out with that scarf. I know what you did. Was the only one who paid at that register, and you came out with a new hat. I know what happened. I just I mean, I I it sounds like you're like you're maturing past your friend, and so it's probably time to cut it. But, like, if you really miss their friendship, I don't know. Like, the fact that you have to decide the venue to keep them from committing crimes, it's I mean, it's ridiculous. She can't have any friends. I mean, all of her friends are gonna have flaws. Yeah. So, wait, can you think of a situation of which you said, look. I I still like this person. They're my friend, but I'm not gonna I'm will not willing to go do this thing with them. Any alcoholic friend I have. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. You say I'm not going to Hey, Joe. I know you get tanked every time you're around a bottle of anything. So guess what we're not gonna do? We're not gonna go to the I'll go see a movie with you, but I'm a sniff your drink. Where do you take someone who steals them all the time? You take them to a field.

That's right. Me me. You take them to the middle of a field that has no crops in it because there's a chance they're gonna get some corn out of the deal. And they're gonna try to sneak in. Or you walk in There a gate to this place. The gate, and they're hopping the fence. Yeah. Ethel, there's no pay here. There's no cover. I just wanna be certain. I totally did. I know. Anybody playing a guitar in here? Yeah. Or like an RV dealership. You're like, good luck, DB Cooper. You ain't getting out of here for nothing. See if you can if you can steal something from here. I mean You can get a seat cover out of one of those. I'll pay for it.

I mean, that might even be funny. Hey, man. Yeah. As my friend, don't ask me to go to a Chinese buffet. I'll appreciate that, but this is ridiculous. Ridiculous. Yep. Alright. Hey. You've listening live from the Path. Thanks for hanging out with us tonight. We really do appreciate it. If you have anything for us, any feedback, any questions, any common bits of wisdom, we've not done secular for Solomon for quite a while. So, hopefully, we'll hit that up on the next show, but you can hook up with us on the live from the path. Bob Eisner complaint line. That's (515) 517-0085. That's call or text. In fact, do text. Well, you could call, but I think ever answered a single one of my calls. I think the text I can tell it's you. Your number shows up. Alright. Dot point. And your face, I don't know how you did that.

He's made his made his a rendering of himself out of ASCII characters. Like, I know that's Boova. I once drew a turtle with those characters at the bottom of email signature work. I mean, I got more compliments on that than any work I've legitimately done in the company. Funny enough, I mean, they they paid me for two hours worth of effort doing that. I'm, like, spacing stuff around, putting little, like, parentheses together so it look like a turtle. I really have to reckon with that statement now. Are you talking about, like, keyboard symbols? Yeah. For some reason, I thought you said CSI Miami characters, and I thought, like, Buba put himself in as Horatio Sans. So it made that Yes. I knew if you saw Horatio, you would think of me. What

is that what is that noise? That's the opening to the Who's. I don't don't think the Who's song. Always know. See you in South Miami. Yeah. That's right. That's right on. That's wrong. Alright. Anyway, the we're gonna cut you loose. Be faithful to me. It's gotta land on the ends. You've been listening to Live From The Fact.