Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live from the path. And you're listening to live from the Path coming to the Pathway Studios coming coming coming to the Wow. To the you are at the The That's all, folks. I am at the Ear Ear Ear. What's the thing that the giant chicken says? What's

the thing that the giant chicken says? Dan Dan Dan did a Looney Tunes noise, and it made me think of that giant chicken. See. See. Foghorn leghorn? Is that what you're saying? I said The giant chicken? I said, come here, boy. What he say? What does he say? Well, that's that's that's buried deep deep in the recesses of my mind. I don't remember. I can picture him. Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Is it a rooster? We should do we should ask the AI to respond to some advice as if they are Foghorn Leghorn. Foghorn Leghorn was my dad's favorite character. Remember Oh, that. I've I I, like, I think I laser engraved a mug for him with Foghorn Leghorn Oh, man. Yeah. In, like, high school machining class. Oh, I see. I see. Alright. I'm working on the I'm working on that. Hey. If you do a good foghorn, leghorn impression, hit it up on the complete line. Claire. Five one he doesn't say I do declare. Yes. He does. He's a southern chicken. He does I don't think he says that. Original or extra crispy. Five. He doesn't talk about selling chicken. He is a judge. Literally his line from Space Jam. Oh, that's a perversion. That's not canon. That's a perversion.

You couldn't remember his name, and now you're arguing what's canon? It's not canon. What's that giant chicken say? That was your lead in for Foghorn Langhorn? Foghorn Canon. I know that. 5155170085. If you do an impression of Foghorn Leghorn, I'd like to hear it. Also, I'd like you to weigh on on this Canon thing. I think move his way out of left field. He's a pervert in the Canon. Anyway, here we stand you. So we got going on the show this evening. There was there

was a video of there was a men's conference of of which Mark Driscoll got chucked out of. So we're gonna talk about this. Essentially essentially, he he gets out there. He's invited to speak at this men's conference, and he comes out and says, hey, man. There's an Asherah pole out here, and there's a sacrifice

to the gods because there was some sort of shirtless man climbing up the poles. Doing sword swallowing. Yes. Swallowing swords. What it feels like happened is a a bunch of testosterone factory fellas goes, what's the most manly thing we can think of? A dude swallowing a sword climbing up a pole, and they decided to put it on display at this men's conference. And then Driscoll comes out and basically goes, hey. This is like a this is a Jezebel spirit. And, starts critiquing the thing, gets chucked off the stage, and then the pastor comes back and goes, hey, man. He should have brought this to me privately. And he starts, I don't know, awkwardly going, Matthew 18. Yeah. The whole thing was really weird. So, anyway, we're gonna read this story.

I'm not there's not a there's not one sane party in this conversation. Like, there's a bunch of iffy parties who've got various degrees of being right. But It's it's odd though to have Driscope be like the humble guy on the stage. Right. Right. The I mean I mean, he obviously, he's pretty arrogant. He is who he is. Right. But but the dude, yeah, kicking him off in front of yeah. You're done. You're done. Right. It's like I'm sleepless because of praying for you guys and your Jezebel spirit. Yeah. Everything about it was a train wreck. It was so it was so great. And, like, I I I won't show it to you because it takes too much for me to go find the pictures and stuff, but, like, it they're they're trying too hard. There's, like, a Harley in the back. Like, there's I mean Yeah. It I thought it looked like it was a it was a monster truck rally

disguised as a a men's conference. Yeah. I mean, it's okay for men to be men. Like, I'm on board. I'm with you. I like to be a man as well. It feels right. Right? But, like, I don't know. It feels like you're trying too hard. Like, if you have to bring an oiled up man into your men's conference because you feel like oiled up man starts to blur the line of whether this is manly or super feminine. And so I anyway, we're gonna talk about it. But he's muscular. Yeah. And that shows masculinity because he's strong. I I yeah. I just can't imagine what actual reaction I would have had if I was there, not no one you know, just I don't know if I would have signed up for that one. Been like, yeah. What is what the heck is going on here? I mean, I don't think I haven't had a, you know, big righteous indignation or anything. I would but I but I would be like, this isn't real I think I'm at the wrong conference. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, he sended the poll. We have a god that ascends, and it's like, oh, come on, Mark. Like, what what is happening right now? Yeah. It it would it would be like if you went to let's say you like, it's it's finding something that doesn't is not enough that you would kinda raise a stink about it, but be like, this does not add. This does not actually heighten Right. Bring anything to it just Just use a critique. Yeah. Well, that looks like a poor decision. Like like like caviar at a hockey game. You're like, you know, I don't know. Caviar at a hockey game. I mean, aren't dudes generally don't they like to be challenged? Yeah. And he was kind of they're challenged. I'm like, you know, rethink what you just watched. Yes. I mean, you should have been troubled by this. Yeah. You're out. Alright. So we're I'll read the article just so we can bring you everyone up to date. It's super interesting. Secondly, I'm keeping I'm keeping a secret from my wife, and I need Just stop it there. I need you guys to tell me whether this is okay or not.

Alright. What do you think, Buba? No. Okay. Tell me. It doesn't matter what it is? I'm interested, but my my my immediate reaction is probably no. Gut reaction? I'm sure there are sometimes yes. But but your gut says, regardless of what it is, you probably shouldn't be If it's to the point where you bring it up on a on a live podcast, then I would say maybe not. Yeah. I mean, wouldn't it wouldn't that wouldn't you presume that it's a very poorly kept secret if I brought it up on a podcast? Agreed. Yeah. I don't know. I'm gonna give a nuance to maybe. Okay. Alright. We'll give it to nuance. Guys you guys can try it. You'll let me know whether I need to whether I need to share this directly or not. Also, we got some advice on dear life from the path. We are not gonna ask Foghorn Leghorn, but I'm gonna keep that in the back pocket in case we need to hit it up at some other time. Yeah. Sounds good. Okay. Alright. So let's hit up this let's hit up this. This is from not the bee dot com,

and I'm gonna I'll read this as it sits. Not the bee is a little bit more they're they're casual in the write up, so it's not like coming from some sort of a formal news source. It says, alright. Everything about this story is weird. And if anything, it serves to show how so many American churches have become actual circus shows devoid of sound teaching and common sense. Let me try to sum up what happened. I really have to give some background here, but skip it if you want, and then we'll get to the video. Mark Driscoll is a megachurch pastor who fell from grace over a decade ago. Known for being fiery at a time when almost no one else was delivering fire from the pulpit, Driscoll had quite the following, particularly among young men until his anger, abuse, and control issues surfaced, disqualifying him from leadership and putting his church, Mars Hill, in the middle of a Nash scandal. It was a big deal since Driscoll was also a founding council member of the Gospel Coalition and the cofounder of the popular church planting network, Acts twenty nine. In the years since, Driscoll has resumed pastoring in a new church he founded in Arizona, but has popped up from time to time on the radar for occasional firebrand moments.

We're gonna skip. Okay. Which is why the leaders who invited him to speak at a men's conference in Springfield, Missouri should have known he would raise a holy ruckus when they invited a guy to do interpretive pole dance on stage. Yes. The leaders of the Stronger Men's Conference at James River Church in Springfield. River. I didn't pay attention to who posted it. Okay. Never mind. Okay. So you see you'd see this thing coming. It all makes sense. Yeah. Okay. Invited this guy, and there was a copy of a a sleepy a man from a sleepy Moldovan town became a seedy Las Vegas stripper before wowing millions as a BGT's daredevil sword swallower. Britain's Got Talent.

So the man was a male stripper, went on Britain's Got Talent as a sword swallower and acrobat and became famous. Okay. And the church dude says, that's the guy we want. Bring him on. Bring on Cirque du Soleil. I wanna put him on. The article says, what the heck were they thinking? Hiring a male stripper and sword swallower for a men's conference. Well,

Mark Driscoll had thoughts, and while they're theologically sketchy on the metaphor side, it's hard to disagree with his frustration. And so let's see here. Church commentary site. Oh, I I can't share it. So in general, his comment he he basically comes out and goes, hey. There's a I've been praying for you guys. This is kinda what Buva said. I've been praying for you guys and because there's a Jezebel spirit in here. Yep. And he goes, there's a like, even at this conference, there's a pole like an Asherah pole, and a man was on an altar. Yeah. Up on it because it was on a platform. He's, like, up on an altar. A shirtless dude just like ladies in strip clubs who are showing their skin or whatever. That was the basic critique. So he he goes through and he provides this critique,

and he's calling them out for it. And all of a sudden, the pastor from James River basically chucks him from the stage. It was interesting. Driscoll's reaction goes, what was that? And then, like, the the pastor again said, hey. Hey. You're done. You gotta get out of here. And Driscoll basically goes, I accept that. Yeah. I I hear that. Left. And then he, yeah, he picked up his bible and he walked off. He didn't he didn't argue with him. He didn't fight with him. He just said, basically, I submit to you the thing that you're saying. Interesting moment. Yeah. It was. Yeah. That that kinda stuck out. Yeah. Yeah. And so and then he left, and then the the pastor come back on the stage, and, like, people are starting to boo. It's not clear to me exactly what they're booing. Like, feels like some of them could be booing the thing that Mark said. Some of them could be booing the fact that he got chucked. I feel like more of them were booing the fact that he got tossed. Right. Like, they didn't hear him out. That's what I think so too. But I but it wasn't super clear to me, so I don't I don't wanna make it sound like the whole place was up against it. And the pastor basically said, Hey, Mark said none of this. We talked beforehand and he didn't say anything to me and he came out here and like, in the spirit of Matthew 18, you should've come to a brother first, as opposed to just airing this out everybody. Front

that was basically the end of it. And so was a very interesting situation. So we've come to the first question which is level one to 10, level of appropriateness, shirtless man, sword swallower, climbing up a pole, doing acrobatics at your men's conference. One to 10 level of appropriateness. Moova. Two. Two. You said could be. I I didn't even know. Maybe a zero. I I just

I yeah. There's no there's no reason for that. Like, there's no reason. Except for, like, a two level reason. No. I in fact, I rescind the two. Okay. It's a zero. I say I say it's a two. It's okay. Dan? Yeah. I'm I'm a solid zero. I also am a solid zero. They're all I just I can't I I I'd like to know the whole process, the thought process that went through that. Did did they have a committee? Do they have do they have a team Yeah. That that plans this?

Did did what did the contract look like? I mean And 30 decisions happened. Yeah. Like, it's so many levels. Someone went, that's a good idea. Yeah. And nobody went, no. It's not. Hey. Who's Like, a single person. Pool. I mean Yeah. That event was enormous. And, like, the amount of people that went into planning that to, like, get Mark Driscoll there. Right? Like, this is a large deal. Yes. That same group of people that were planning all of those events went, yeah. Male stripper sword swallower. Let's someone installed that poll and went, yes. Well, they had to ask. Like, hey. What what kind of platform need? I need a poll.

Code. That's what I need. I mean What's your act gonna look like? I'm gonna take my shirt off almost immediately, and I'm gonna be real shiny because I'm covered in oil. And then I'm gonna be on a a pole swinging around, and then after a while, I'm gonna incorporate sword swallowing. Yeah. Everybody on board with that? Masculinity forever. So I'm a little I'm a little shocked that Driscoll

speak at this. Yep. Yep. They would have contacted me, which they wouldn't, just because they don't know who I am. You're too fiery from the pulpit, Dan. You can't handle it. That is the only reason. I would've been like, you know, I'm pretty sure we come from different camps. I'm

pretty sure I'm gonna pass, so there was all kinds of misjudgment, but here, let me refute. I'm going through my mind when he's he's yelling out Matthew 18. Yep. You know, Driscoll could have screamed out first Timothy five, publicly rebuke those who sin so the rest will be afraid. Yeah. Right. I Would have been perfectly legitimate. Say, but go talk to him first personally. Yeah. And I don't think I mean There was also a perspective, like, from from what I I heard and saw from the the article and then also from the video. Like, it didn't feel like Mark was coming out on the stage and going, like, this dude made this bad choice. Blah blah blah. No. He he was there's a spirit of this already. This happened, and I think he was planning on

just talking about it and then moving on. It was like a broken heart. Right. He was even like, I don't mean this as a specific rebuke to anyone. Yeah. He said that. Yeah. Just a this is just on my heart, and I need to say it out in this moment. We should not be okay with this. Right. Exactly. And he's like, there's a spirit here. Like, look. The hypersexualization of this situation, we're so numb to it and dull to it. Like, this is this is what we're offering at the beginning of our let's be men in Christ. Now here's the thing. It's like, I I don't I think his I don't know that I would connect the things he connected. No. Agree. Not an No. Awkward. Not an ashore Isn't that like a fertility symbol? Like an ashore pole? There's a lot of sexual things that happen. Right. Yeah. Which I can understand that, like, there's remember reading about. Yeah. Yeah. And I can understand that there's a draw between, like, hypersexualization. Like, he's saying strippers and stuff like that. I get I get, like, the Asher poll's rough. And I think if I don't remember correctly, call me out, but, like, I think he was saying something like and then the the the gentleman ascended the poll. Yeah. And, like, no. Only our lord ascends and all this. Like, just so Yeah. I don't yeah. I think that's I think it's overcooked. His his example, I think, is a bit overcooked. I'm not also, I'm always suspicious of people who say Jezebel spirit. I just I would say that just mean 90% of the time, I'm like There's adulterizing happening around here? An evil influencer. I think generally because, like, if you think Jezebel's influence of Ahab Oh, yes. To go take actions Right. I I I sometimes it's more specific than that, but, like, in general, I've heard people use it in that way. Like Did Jesus ever call a Jezebel spirit out? No. He he actually you know, it goes to the conversation we're having well, I think maybe it was a couple weeks ago Yeah. Which is, like, how much of it is some sort of evil influence and how much of it is, hey. You're being lazy, shortsighted, sinful personally, as a group, whatever. So I I don't know. I I wouldn't have near have connected as far as he said, but it is completely fair to come out and go, what is this show that we're putting on here? Like Right. What what does it mean to be men, and what does this have anything to do with it? Yeah. And and, like, I I here's the thing. There's all kinds of places which you can go see that crap going on. Like, the one thing let's it's the come back to it. The one thing the church has to offer that is not available anywhere else is Jesus. You can go look at the stripper and the sword swallower and the pole guy,

every other place. And so if people come to a conference or any event that a church puts on and the main focus is not Jesus, then, like, all you're doing is probably putting on a, like, a cut rate performance that someone else can probably do better than you. Like, we we're not gonna compete on these areas, and we wouldn't want to. We're gonna offer the one thing the church offers that no one else can beat, which is our Lord Jesus Christ. Yep. Right. And so it's interesting because just a minute ago, Dan had found like a local church who was bringing in the bluey. Yeah. And here's the deal. I don't mind the bluey Of of kids' shows, it's okay. It's okay. I think there's places where they're probably trying to be a little bit subversive. But, like, generally speaking, Bluie is is an okay thing. There there's a there's an episode called Keepy Uppy. It's particularly entertaining. But, like,

again Wasn't expecting to hear that. You what do what do we have to offer our children? Right. Even then, we have we have the the only thing we can offer them is so, like, yes, there's all kinds of things. I'm glad your kids are happy and that they're entertained and that they're not making a bunch of ruckus at Sunday school. However, the only thing that we have to offer these kids in this building and in our meetings and stuff is Jesus. So if that is not the priority, then we're letting them down. We're failing them. Man, I feel like I need to make an ad to say, flannelgraph Jesus is gonna be at church on this ex date. Bring your children. Bring your children. We plan to win We'll have no ice cream. That's that's right. Right. And, like, I it's not that you can't have fun at the dude's conference. It's not that you can't have fun with the children. It's just like but, like, there is there is, hey. Are are we doing this with the right attitude and recognizing, like, this this is this is the thing that's the important thing. And so, like, you all you keep the main thing the main thing. Do other things that support the main thing that are fun and awesome. Like, I don't know what you I don't know if I need entertainment actually at the dude's conference. Right. I I just like, I've been I've been to some and, like, I don't

actually, the places where, to be honest, the places where it's fallen the most flat for me at dude's events is when they try to make it feel like you're not they're trying to change me. Like, I wanna I'm there I'm there to be refined. I'm there to be changed. I wanna hear a guy, like, lay it to me close and clear. The the thing you would do if there wasn't anybody who might take it wrong. And if you figure, because men and women are different, maybe a lady would hear it differently. Most dudes are gonna hear it the same way. And so I'd like to hear that. I don't mind a guy being funny, but he better be funny in the context of kinda helping me out. Like, I just don't I don't need to be entertained. I don't need to have the fire going on somewhere else. Like, it's not what I'm there for. And, like, if this is our, hey. Let's let's see if we can get my neighbor to finally come closer to Jesus because of this. Like, don't we wanna win them to Jesus, not win them to the spectacle Right. And then hope they eventually meet Jesus because we were they weren't so we were kinda dodgy about it. And I think that weird push for hypermasculinity, especially in, like, probably American churches that put these kind of things on. Like, it's like this Hollywood

expendables Sylvester Stallone rendition of what a man is, And then we're gonna go ahead and and and tailor all of our content so that we can all we're like, we're taking back what it means to be a man. We're no longer pansies and blah blah blah. I'm like, I don't know if we're saying the same things, to be honest with you, sir. Like, I don't know if it's chainsaw juggling and like, hey, man. We're gonna set stuff on fire, and it's gonna be great. And, like, we don't bathe ourselves because that's lady stuff. Like, that kind of thing. I don't need that. Like, I wanna I we should be crying after, like, the biblical experience of what a, well, the Jesus experience of what a man is. Like, that's that's the deal. I don't need this. Some elephant. Like, some some of the elements are. Sometimes you go like, there's only certain types of people who agree to, you know, juggle chainsaws, and you need men like that. Yes. Right. Right. But but, like, it's it's don't don't make me I wanna be a righteous follower of Jesus, not a cartoon, and you're trying to drag me back into cartoon, and you're trying to make and and, frankly, God looks like a cartoon when you do stuff like this. What's that old quote?

Something about if you attract them with the circus, you'll have to keep the circus or Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's old time preacher. Right. 1800s or something. Yeah. We've been doing this for a long time. Just it's just now we're just doing it in more fantastic ways with sword swallowing That's true. Oiled down Come to our men's conference. No. We've got fireworks and whiskey. Here's the thing. Here's what's what? Here's what's probably true. It's probably true that if you were to watch this conference start to finish, I bet 80% of the stuff, you'd go, yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Absolutely. Built up. Right? You know I'm saying? Like, you're not most of the time, we're actually pretty close here. Yeah. We just keep we're we we can't hold on to the fact that, like, the gospel does the work. Jesus does the changing. The spirit does the guiding. Like, we we we just get nervous when you turn it all over to the lord here and so we try to fill in the 20% with some sort of weird garbage and that's the thing that threw it off because, like, I cannot imagine. I've actually it's interesting. Somebody I knew, this had been ten, fifteen years ago, was vacationing, and they said they stopped at James River.

And they're like, you should check this out. This pastor is really great. And it's like, okay. So I checked I checked it out. And here's the thing. Some of that stuff that man said was super weird, like real touchy feely or something that didn't seem connected. It was it's like Joel Osteen ish, but also like hyper. Again, I don't like saying hyper holy spirit because that's not like, I want I'm in on that. I mean, but, like, not connected to any other parts of the good news type of thing. Kinda building his own kingdom. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And he was very eloquent speaker. Very good. Here's the thing. 80% of the things he said were true. I would agree with him. Yeah. It's the it's the other twenty twenty, 20% where I'm like, dude, you just it just went off the rails. If you just had not said that,

we we could've cut the thing, and it would've been fantastic. Actually, some of the some of the fallibilities of Mark Driscoll, I'd actually put him at like 90% and that's me giving grace on his Reformation background. It's not that they're not right, but then there always becomes like a man's kingdom stuff in here or like, we just don't think, let's give it a little extra. You don't need to give it a little extra. And so it would be unfortunate that that that you were put on a conference where you would agree with 90% of the things, and then some dude's idea is up in the front distracting the world.

And, like, just stop that. In fact, that's what you should do. You should submit your church event idea and then give it to a secondary committee whose job is to go, can I pick out any of this that Dave thought of? Just run through the agenda and go, yep, that sounds like something Dave thought of. It's out. We're not gonna do that. And, like, whatever. It's not near that black and white. Like, have have fun. Bring in a good band. Totally. Righteous thing. Draws people in. Doesn't cause distractions. I think that's awesome. Have good food and drink. Also awesome. Celebrate. Sing loud. If you wanna shoot a canon every once in while, I guess I don't care. But like ACDC did it. Joe, that's right. That's right. Anyway, I it's it was an odd situation. Odd odd odd situation. And Driscoll actually, besides that weird Jezebel spirit thing he said, he called out the right thing, which is what I would have liked to happen. I think it would have been cool if he started to say that and the guy from from James River, the pastor, would have got up and go, give me a microphone. Let's talk this out. Yeah. In front of all the the dudes. That'd be a dude thing to do. That would have been great. Yeah. And someone and, like, watching two guys coming from different positions talking about theological reasons as to why we have a problem here or not, Somebody may be repenting,

somebody making sure that they're talking about things in a way that still honors the man next What to an awesome thing that Framing could have through. That'd been great. Chucking people. That's a wussy thing to do. Quit being a sissy and throwing people off the stage. You know, it's really funny, I haven't listened to a Driscoll sermon for a long time and it just so happened this morning that I was doing some painting in one of our rooms here and I thought, I'll just throw in a just random sermon. I just threw in a text and he popped up, Oh, listen to that. Yep. And and he was like so it was in his new setting. Yep. And he was all hyper excited. I'm so excited to be here. Right? And he was screaming, then I thought, dude, you're trying really hard.

But it was still pretty good solid stuff. And then, yeah, all all this information starts spreading. You know? The Yep. And I and I thought, wow. This is really weird that I have two things on Driscoll on the same day. It was such a weird deal. Like, what a what an incredible way to break down the good news is to is to, like, see 90% truth and then 10%, and then people that don't people that that that are just shaky on this stuff just fixate on the 10%

and then miss out on so much truth. Yeah. I I don't know if it's it's me getting older or maturing finally or something. I could give a rip if people like me or they are impressed with my style or anything. Yep. I'm I'm just much more, I guess bold is the word to use, with talking about stuff than I used to be because I'm just like, You need to hear this stuff. Yeah. Mean, is scripture. This is Bible and this is what it says,

and I don't care if you think it was cool. You're arguing. It's not with me. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Exactly. I don't have dancing elephants in the back, and that's alright. You know, you're gonna look at this, and you're gonna hear what God has to say, then you have to decide what to do with it yourself. And yeah. It's I mean, I both of you are in are in historical situations where I'm not, but, like, I can't like, it's the truth of matter is is, like, you are you are presenting the

the words of a god that is right Yeah. And just Yeah. And love incarnate to people that believe that they know better what is right and what is just and what is love.

It's like a creation that finds themselves, begging the creator to prove himself to them. Yep. It's crazy to me. Like, that shit and and I've been there, obviously. I've been the creation asking the creator to prove himself to me before. But, like, it really is like when I hear these the the the arguments against the moral authority of god and all these different things, it's like, how could a god do this? It's like you realize that you're arguing that you believe or have created this infallible perfect morality that God is then breaking, and you aren't the one breaking. Like, you're asking God to answer to your understanding of morality,

and I can't even imagine that. And how how broken people are by seeing that kind of it's just craziness. Like, it just I don't just wow. My god would never judge anyone. Right. Well, you're not gonna see your god later. Right. Yeah. It's like, do you even understand what justice is to be able to say that my god won't judge anyone? Do you understand love enough to say that, like, god doesn't love like, you you don't get that, I don't think. Right. It's it it it it I guess it's interesting because that's kinda colored my recent bible reading has been, on this, on this most recent bout running through it has been, you know, I really want to continue myself to the point where, like, I stand or or I kneel in front of the bible and go, like, this needs to change me. I don't need it to change to me. I need to change myself to it. And especially going through some of the Old Testament stuff where it's like, I don't know. I don't understand. Like, why I I don't know why god would act this way. I don't know I don't know how god's justice is shown here. But if I hold true that god is completely love and completely just and those two things are not

working against each other, then this move that maybe I wouldn't have made in my lack of wisdom versus the omnipotent creator of the universe that, like, this is love, and I just I need to bend my spirit to understanding that that's the love of my father, and I don't understand it all the time. But, like, I've been doing this for a long time, so I can only imagine being someone that just flat out has not spent time in in in the word, has not spent time being

feeling blessed by God and feeling like your life is a gift by God. I I understand why people are are breaking this kind of stuff, but, like, it's just craziness to me. Sorry. That was a super random thing to interject. But No. It's okay. And I think one of the key things in in a lot of those types of discussions is people wanna hold God to task for things that they've abdicated, things that they're not willing to breach. So like for example, take the judgment of the Canaanites. You're like, is it fair that God wiped out the Canaanites? And so if you're presented with the option like, you're like, think god shouldn't shouldn't be able to do this or I thought it was wrong. So what is the right punishment for a society who sacrifices children? Like, nothing? Right. Nothing I should let where's the justice in that? Why is that okay? Right? Like, to what extent you you bailed, like, because you're not on the hot seat. You're not the per there's an episode there's an episode of the show 24. Of course, there is. And vice president Noah Daniels has taken over. He's been critical of the president,

and he finds himself the president gets in is unable to discharge his duties. So now he takes over and and runs through a series of events of which is very stressful and difficult to deal with. And so getting towards the end of the season, he he goes, you know, I had no idea what it was like to sit in this chair. You can't. You can't until you've sat there. It's easy to kinda critique it from afar and think you know all the things, but, like, until you've sat there, you don't really know. And it makes me think a lot about how people interact with the Lord. So, like, in general, people, like, they wanna not take responsibility for what do you do with a society that acts that way. And they wanna blame God, and then they can't answer morally what to do, like, what to do because it's not one person.

It's a belief structure that will continue to sacrifice children. Yeah. Sure. You could go through and say, well, take out the guy who sacrificed the kids. Okay. And then wait another ten years for the kids to grow up, and then they start sacrificing their kids now. Like, it was a societal issue. And so what do you why is it what where what is your sense of justice? Like, lot of the people who are having that critique actually, I think it's a I think it's a right question because it's difficult. It's difficult to look at. It's difficult to say, lord, sure. There were a lot of really perverse things going on, but weren't there innocence? Isn't it the same question that that Abraham was asking Mhmm. Before Sodom and Gomorrah? Right. He's saying if there if there's but 55. There's 40. If there's 10, you know, whatever. Like, if there's only a few righteous people, will you stay your hand? And so and in that reckoning, there there weren't.

Right. But, like, you know, do I trust? Do I have this? There's a part I actually don't have a problem at all with God's judgment upon the Canaanites in general. What happens to the potential innocent women and children and probably a few dudes? That's the thing that requires trust. It doesn't it doesn't require trust for me to accept that, like, in if if he's a god of justice and justice need to be dealt out, justice was dealt out. We don't generally even have a problem with this. You're okay with with the police arresting people who did the wrong thing. You're generally okay praying that god would intercede

in a spiritual, unnatural way when you want the abused victim to stop getting abused because normal what would normally keep happening is they keep getting abused. When you're praying about it, you're asking God to step in. So like you're totally in with God intervening in all kinds of ways and you believe it to be fair. And so those are things I don't have trouble trusting God. It's the peripheral things. And so then I have to say, well, I have to trust that God either like that his that was a mercy of his to them in some way or another. Like, maybe he rescued them. Maybe in some way or another he allowed for them the same way I think about unborn babies or like like the grave injustices in the world.

God's gonna have to be trusted. Same thing, he's gotta be trusted on the what if you don't get the good news to everybody. I actually think we're pretty close. But I have to trust that God has this handled. So there's some of those things which are really good questions because it reckons with the reality of God. If if those questions didn't exist, I would say you don't actually believe it. Right? Because like a a a person who's concerned about doing the work of Jesus goes, well, shoot, man. If there's a reckoning to this and some some people didn't know what the heck is going to happen, You should care about it. If you care about God, care about people. It's a great question you should be asking. You should be asking, how do I understand God's justice when there may be circumstances of which misbehavior on the earth spreads out onto other people. The sin of people of one guy fell onto other people. Why do they have to bear the consequences? How is that fair? How do I understand these things? I as the moral center, we should you should be able to ask those types of questions. But a lot of times we're just abdicating. Big people who are arguing with God are just they wouldn't sit in the same chair.

They'd say, well, society will work itself out. It never has. Like, the morality of the people will solve this situation. No, it will not. It also never has. Right? Like, it's just interesting because they're like, you know, why do we need the morality from God? Like, won't most people we all agree that murder is wrong. That's interesting because two hundred years ago, we did not all agree that owning a man was wrong. Right. We did not all agree that you couldn't treat them as property. We did not all agree of all kind that that that just because you don't weren't born in this country, we should be able to round you up in different camps because your people may be against us somewhere in the world. And admittedly, as a species, we still don't all agree that you can't murder. Yes. Right. We think it's okay. Maybe if you're not old, maybe if you can't survive on your own. Although you are allowed to kill a baby and you can't stab a guy in a ventilator. We're duplicitous in this particular matter. And so, like, we don't all agree. And, like, the the the majority

like, might makes right. The majority making the moral decisions. Like, that has been dangerous everywhere Mhmm. For all time. And so you you don't actually believe that, but you're willing to buy it because you don't want to have to accept that maybe there's a god with a moral load that comes into the world. And I get it, man. I hear what you're saying, brother. Yeah. Some of the things in life would be a lot easier to go if we could just go with the crowd here because the crowd is getting real loose and real self focused and self centered. A lot of things that my I might enjoy. But, like, you can't. You can't. It's out. Anyway, another time. Take a take a deeper. Alright. Speaking of moral problems, what are you hiding? I'm hiding something from my wife, and I want you to tell me whether it's a problem or not. Here's here's the setup. My wife has it comes up. We've got four

kids, one dog, two cats, about 15 I had 16 laying laying hens, and I think I'm down to 13 because there's a coyote around my place, he's got ahold of three of them. K. I fired a warning shot about a couple days ago. It seems to be working, but now I gotta wait in them out every day this week to make sure it doesn't come back. And also in the garage, there are roughly 50 more chickens, 30 of which we are going to ceremoniously murder and eat. The other 20 are gonna start laying eggs.

There's a decent amount of land at my house, stuff to mow, stuff to fix. It's an old place. So lots to do. Lots going We have a gravel driveway. This is the big rub in my house, which means every time you open the door, walk in from the road, there's dust everywhere. Like, there's no keeping up with the dust. It's bad. And so anyway, it's common that my wife feels like she's

carrying too much of the load in making sure the house continues to run successfully because we we also homeschool. And so she's got a burden during the day to do those things. And so I also always don't take this particularly well. I always think I'm doing a pretty good job, and I I find these critiques unfounded. I'm I'm generally wrong about that. I know that. I know enough to know that. Okay. And so the last time this came up and I'm I'm also prone

she would this would be she she would I don't think she's gonna be offended. I'm not telling you anything that, like, I'm most of this makes me look bad, and so I don't think there's anything offensive here about my wife. But, like, most of time when she brings something like this up, I tend to overreact. And so I'm prone to going, fine. No one's doing enough already. Then, like stage. Yeah. Right. Like, I'm a I'm a I'm, like, hyper focused on it for, like, three or four days. I'll be up to one in the morning, fold laundry, sweeping floors, and she's like, hey. You should we should get ready to go to bed. Maybe we can, know, go go to bed at the same time tonight. I'm like, can't. Fold laundry.

Here's the deal. She's done that to me plenty of times in a non nefarious way. Like, hey. I'll be up in a minute, but we gotta fold the laundry. I'm probably not doing it with the same general heart, but it's also reality. I also think there's probably too much going on. It's very difficult to balance all the things. She is more prone to thinking we can do all the things. I'm more prone to going, I don't think we can get all that stuff done. We're gonna have to cut something. Anyway, so I wanna say about a month ago, this conversation comes up again.

And I was about to respond and I didn't. I just said, okay, I understand. I try do I will try to focus and do better. And so immediately, I opened up my note keeping app on my phone and I put the today's date and I said, I'm gonna log all the stuff that I do because I feel like maybe she's not recognizing that there's a lot more going on. I I I legitimately thought that and I probably actually still think that to a certain extent. She's busy. She doesn't recognize. She's she she's more prone to noticing when you didn't do the wrong thing than the right thing, which is common for busy people. They noticed the thing that caused them interrupted them. Right.

So I I actually don't I recognize that. It's not a particular, like, moral fault. It's just a a byproduct of her personality. So I said, I'm a keep track of this stuff. And it but it was like the first when I first opened the the app, it was kind of a snotty. I'm I'm like, I'm a keep track of this. I'm gonna show her. So the next time this comes up, I'm like, hey. Didn't you see? Didn't you see you were wrong about this? And then about an hour after I'd started the note, I thought, you know, I don't know whether I actually do as much stuff as I think I do.

Like, I go to so I go to bed at night, and I'll be we're up late. Like, we might be up till, like, one, 01:30 most nights. And I think that I've spent my time righteously, but I don't actually know that. I'm just under that impression. And so I thought, you know, I this actually is probably a really good thing so that I can look at the end of the day and go, did I regardless of whether my wife is right or wrong in this particular scenario, do I feel comfortable how much I am contributing

to my house running? Now, again, for clarity's sake, like, don't I don't ever I'm not sitting. Like, I'm busy, but I don't know what I'm busy in, actually. And and it it may be things where, like, not that it's not a righteous thing, but, if I had to choose between one thing or the other, could I go two weeks and not fold anything or switch the laundry? I might. I might do that. I might think that I washed it like, they load the dishwasher all the time, but maybe actually it only happened twice last week. And then I'm just I got busy with other things, and it was it was okay to me that I didn't do it. But, like, the reality was I only touched it, which means all kinds of things happen at my house that I'm not keeping a reckoning a reckoning of. Right? Yeah. And so I thought, hey. This is gonna be really good.

Now so I keep I start keeping track track of it in my notes folder. I don't want my wife to see it because I don't want her two two things that I'm worried about. One, I don't want her to get the wrong impression. I don't want her to like, the thing that I started it for

is not why I'm continuing to do it. I've been doing it for about a month. And I'm afraid if she opens up if she opens up the notes that she'll see all these these logs and journals and it looks like I'm trying to stack up a bunch of stuff as some sort of critique to her and like that died about an hour in. I'm actually not doing it for that. And I have found, you actually get to the end of the day towards nine nine, 10:00 at night, and maybe there's only two things on the list and I'll go do other things because I don't I don't want if I needed it to to facilitate a discussion or to feel like I'm actually contributing to the house, like I I there's only two things on here. Right. Could I go do something? And so, I'll go sweep the floor when my inclination was not to do it. So it's actually been super helpful to me. Nice. And I actually think I'm doing much much better and realizing places where

I might be prone to thinking I did good things and didn't. The second thing is, and this is where this like, first one I'm like, if that was it, I feel like I could probably have that conversation realistic with my wife. The second thing is, and this goes back to kind of a personality thing, Maybe even to me, this is really on the couch, this type of thing.

My wife is not a super encouraging person. She knows this about herself and I am not generally encouraged by Her motive she does not motivate me because it tends to be because again, she tends to notice things that aren't done well or not didn't happen or fell short of her expectations. It's not likely to be a compliment in there somewhere. And so I would be so disheartened

if she were to find the list and have a negative reaction to it. But it's helping us. It's helping us. It's helping me and it is helping us. Even though I'm not sure, like she hasn't said anything about it for like a month. Like there's been no, hey, things have been different. Because again, it's probably what she expected to begin with. But in the back of my mind, like in fact, went to go grab my phone and she was looking for a note

where we keep track of updates that we're gonna make to a particular room in the house. I've got all those notes and they're shared with her, but her phone wasn't close. So she grabbed my phone and opened up the Notes app and I took my phone from her. I said, Hey. And I told her, I said, look, there's something in there that I don't want you to see. It's not bad. There's nothing wrong with it. And I'll show it to you eventually, but I

don't wanna show it to you right now. And it felt like it felt okay to me to go, look, I just want you to trust me. I'm telling you it's not a problem because like, what? Don't know what kind of nefarious thing I'm gonna have in my notes app anyway. So like, it feels like it's very low possibility, but at the end of the day, it is something that I'm not openly sharing with my wife and that at risk of her seeing it, I did take my phone from her and said, I'll find the list for you or I'll go get your phone. And I know she's like, I don't like this. I'm like, I understand Yeah. What you might be thinking. But again, think about it. What could be happening in the notes app?

And I promise you there's nothing weird going on in here. I just is it okay? And so so one, my situation but then I thought like, is it okay that you have is is a spouse okay to have a personal journal? A place where they digest their thoughts. Because sometimes I remember I've had this conversation during an argument with my wife that, like, I wanted to stop talking about it because I said, I don't think I'm handling this well and I need to think about it. Yeah. And saying out loud, I don't know that that

she's she's this she I love her and I'm with her forever. She's my life partner. But sometimes she's not the most helpful to me in trying to go walk through my own thoughts. Yeah. I need to need a little space. Is it different that I wrote it down and looked at it and didn't didn't give it to her to go look through? And so as much as I'm all in on, like, your phone should be totally open. You should be like, it's not you don't wanna start down a slippery slope on hiding things from your wife. Yeah. There is a reality to at least in my mind now that goes, look, you know you know where this may not be best

if she were to see that list and she may take it the wrong way. And like, that's something we probably should work through anyway. Maybe and we are. Like, we just both approach things in different ways. Yeah. She's working on being more encouraging. I'm working on being not a lazy loafer. Okay? But that doesn't change the reality that like something that's being valuable to us isn't I don't know. I just it's not my first inclination would be not to show her. So am I wrong? Am I wrong in doing that? And maybe to tackle the personal journal thing too. I think you've overthought it and made it worse than it is because now

she's thinking about it. Now it is a secret, and your mind just goes to the worst things, whatever that is to her. I mean, Oh, he's planning getaway. To move to Colorado. With Louise down the road. Yeah, whatever. Dang it, Louise. But I

think if you just When the time comes, you even said it, just, Hey, this is my accountability thing. I'm tracking myself because I haven't tracked myself well. So this tracks me and lets me know, Oh, look, I am lazy. So yeah, I think your motive is right, but maybe just more honesty.

What's to be angry with? I'm trying to track myself. You don't have to tell her that you originally did it to track yourself, to show her a thing or two because it changed so quickly that you would've deleted it. No, that's true. Yeah. The second thing probably is most more relevant where it's very possible she will not be impressed

with the list. Because I mean, she can have her own list of how can I encourage Ben? That wouldn't freak you out. Be like, Oh yeah, let me help you. No. But here's the thing. Like, if the shoe was on the other foot, if she goes, hey. I've I keep I write things down. I keep a journal for myself. And I I I I don't I don't really want you to look at it. I wouldn't care one bit. I'd have no I just have no reason to care. Right. I don't care.

This is it's messy because I've I've argued with myself listening to this from, like, three different places already on on what is right and what is not. Interestingly, from the whole, you should never keep secrets to, well, maybe I mean, this is a harmless secret

to, well, who is believing it's harmless and who could be harmed by it, all that stuff. But, like, I totally understand where you're coming from when it comes to, like, this is something you're legitimately putting effort into. Mhmm. And this is something that you've recognized is is something you want to work on and you're proud of yourself for. Like, you have every right to have a pride in this of, hey. Change behavior. This yeah. Exactly. This is and this is now accountability that that I have continued to change this behavior. It's something that I don't like about myself, and I'm working on. That would be crushing

to have that laid bare and then someone who has has historically been not that encouraging to you. Mhmm. And, again, by your own admission here is is is not the best at, like, seeing the progress. They just see that 70% means 30% isn't done. Right? Like, that would be devastating to me too. Yeah. Like, to to to have that run into. And I think that you have you have correctly you've accurately figured out that there's there's something in there that needs to be worked on between the both of you of whether it's

you figuring out a way to to find the the encouragement in the way that she's doing things on top of her also trying to find more encouraging ways to say things. Like, there's there's give and take in that, and I think you recognize that. I think that's one of the more healthy things that you've done here Mhmm. Is to recognize that, like, hey. There is improvement to be made, and this is something that could be, you know, a magnifying glass onto that to go, hey. We I noticed that I started doing this list out of spite. It only lasted an hour where it was not even spite. It was more just I'll show you once once you ask me about this again, but then, you know, you did the right thing of turning it into something that was good for you. But, like, yeah, like, that's this messy. It's really messy. I don't think you're doing anything wrong by by by

saying, hey. This is something that I'm not ready to talk about now. I don't think you're holding anything that's hurtful. I think that there's a level of looking at the entire relationship that you guys have had where she can go, this is not a secret that I need to be super worried about based off of, like, all of our history, all of the community that is in, all of these different things. He's willing to be open and honest about this kind of stuff. You you've said plenty of things about this. Like, it it doesn't sniff as though this is gonna turn into a really bad thing. And so that's why I'm not super inclined to say that, like, this is dishonest and, like, you know, you need to come clean about this because it's it's something that's you're hiding behind your back. Mhmm. So,

I mean, yeah, I just, for lack of a of a better advice than just empathy, like, can understand why that's messy, and I can totally understand why you're trepidatious. So so so back in the day before there were smartphones and Yeah. We had paper calendars and everything, my wife and I had a difference of opinion on the frequency of intimacy.

That never happens, I understand. I think that's uncommon, Dan. Tell your weird story. I've never even heard of this before. Yeah, yeah. So because I knew it was so uncommon, I decided in my little paper calendar I was gonna put an x whenever intimacy happened. And my whole purpose of that was so I could show her, See, I counted. You think it's a lot more often than it is. Right. Now I have never told her about that. Yeah. And I never followed through after however

long I finally thought, Okay, this is ridiculous and I don't have a good heart on this. That's what you have to be careful of. But you stopped yourself quickly. Yeah. You fixed it very quickly. So yeah, just wanted to say the word intimacy. No, think that's fair. I

think that does bring up a good and interesting point because that is one of the things I considered is that like, there are also sometimes in those conversations, I do feel like I'm dealing with unnecessary feast famine. Like, no one's and everybody's or none of the time or all of the time type of stuff. I'm like, I know that's not the case.

But but here's the thing. Like, even though I know that to be true, whatever the perception is is my wife's perception is that, like, it's often enough that she sees it as all the time, you know, everybody everybody always does blah blah blah or no one ever does blah blah blah. Like, well, that's probably not right. But the semantics may not matter. Either way, if I hear my wife rightly, what I hear her saying is that, like, she feels like she's overburdened and doesn't have enough help. And I don't know, our kids are old enough and probably shouldn't be doing leaving things out and all the other things that we're doing. And so I it's it's it this felt super weird to me because it it was so rudimentary for a man who's been married. I'll be married twenty years next year to start with the assumptions like, just presume your wife is right and take it from there. Yeah. Like, if I just said in some way or another, and this is what's been helpful in this particular conversation is like in some way or another, my wife is probably right. And so why don't I figure that out? Let's figure out in what way she's right. And then if I have some sort of feedback on in ways that she wasn't right, I don't even she doesn't even know here's the thing is that like,

don't even know that I would ever have to tell her that I have a list. But if she goes But it would help me jog my memory if she were to say something like, Hey, no one ever helps out with the dishes. I would go, Actually, I'm pretty confident I did the dishes like six like six days last week. And so I hear what you're saying. Like, you needed some help yesterday and no one was around or whatever. Yeah. But like, I need to pull you back because it is still she is still my wife. Right. I do still need to make sure that our household is representing to each other correctly. Right. I have tell you what, most of the things that I'm trying to mediate between children and wives has to do with someone exaggerating.

And so I I am the middle. I am the media. I'm the voice of reason that goes, what you're saying, I understand why you're reacting that way in this situation. It is not fair to talk about your mom as if that is always the case. So let's focus on this particular situation. Sometimes it goes the other direction. And so that is a ground of which I wish to hold to make sure that we're actually solving the right problems. The wrong problem is no one does any dishes. The right problem is everybody was tired last night and went to bed and left my wife to pick up the dishes or something like that. That's the right problem. That's not everybody sucks all the time. You know what I'm saying? And so like, it would be I frankly don't have a good memory. I don't remember things that I've And so, okay. Okay. I think this gives me some room.

Maybe what maybe I'll I'll she doesn't listen to the show. Otherwise, I would have just given the whole thing away right now. Maybe I'll just say, hey. You should listen to last week's show. So and sorry to interrupt you. I apologize there. But if you were to tell her that you have this list Yep. And that it has been helpful for you, operating after the hour under the guise of, like, let's find out, like, where's where's the truth in this? Like, my my wife is right here. Let's find where it's at. And I found that I I'm I I feel

more productive and able to call upon the things that I've done by having this list. I'm willing to show it to you and share to you that I have it, but what I'm not asking for is you to take this opportunity to then tell me how much better my list could be. Because, like, there's a certain level of I'm willing to be open about this, but I'm not I'm not asking this as a level of please give me all of the feedback about how much better I could be. Take this in as a way that this is helping me to achieve more transparency

and or productiveness productivity, excuse me, in what I'm wanting to do. Like I'm meeting expectations. Right. This yeah. Right. This is for me. This is not supposed to be an evaluative thing for you to be able to look at and go, see? No. You weren't right and blah blah blah. This is like, this is for me now. This exists, and that's what I was that's what I was worried about showing you. Yeah. I'm not I'm fifty fifty on how that might And that's that's totally fair. That's why I'm asking it as a question, not offering it as advice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe based upon

you guys' advice, I think maybe what I'll do is is I'll say I'll ask her I'll I'll I'll say, look. This the thing that that's in my notes is the thing that's for me. It's helping me to be better. Yeah. And specifically in reaction to things that you have communicated to me that you would like to be better. That's what it is. If

it's important to you, will let you see it. My preference is that not because it's personal like, it is it's it's framed for me. Yeah. Right. It's not written for you. And so I I don't know. There may be ways in which you could take it wrong. I I I don't and I don't want you to. And so but if it's important to you Right. I will show it to you. Yeah. And so then then it'll be her choice. It's not meant to be a report card to her. Like, it's something for you. Yeah. Then, how I approach things like that is we would have a conversation and and we'd say, Well, what is it you want me to do? And I like this, this, and Okay, okay. Then I'd make my own little list and I have a little check off thing so I could just, every day, I could check it off. But that's just for me. Whether she ever saw it or not, I wouldn't care. Right. I'd have a

That's true. You know? Actually, that's a really good point. If you were just try trying to write some to dos for the day on a sticky note, you wouldn't feel compelled to go, hey. I gotta show my wife my sticky note. No. Less like, the only problem was if she reached for the sticky note and then you go, I don't want you to look at my to do for today. I'm a sloth. Right. This is to help me not be a sloth. Right. And and it goes to the same thing as we have a conversation before before the show started around, levels of accountability and so we've

talked on the show before, multiple folks related to food or gas station visits or whatever, saying no to things. And as an example, my wife, I think said to me one time, like, think I was buying coffee and it wasn't even like fancy coffee at the time. It was like gas station coffee, but I wasn't making it before I left the house. I would take some kid to school and then get coffee at the gas station or something. And I think I'd done it like in her mind, something reasonable was if you did it three times in two weeks, that seemed reasonable.

In my mind, like stopping every day to get a coffee at a gas station while you're out and about did not seem unreasonable at all. And so if I were to cut that in half, which would be a significant effort from what I thought was fine, still wouldn't touch what her level was. And so from an accountability perspective, I could tell that same story to Dan

and go, Hey Dan, I've been trying to do better and I'm down over the last two weeks. I stopped seven times and not 10. And Dan might be encouraging in that because he might go, Hey, making progress, man, less than what you were. I would be embarrassed to mention to my wife how often I think about stopping and getting something or blah, blah, blah. And again, some of that falls into the encouragement bucket and things that we continue can, we both can be better at in our But like, is it, I don't think that it's wrong of,

like I'm not hiding that from her. If she were to go, hey, just off the gas station, would say, yeah, sure would. But like, it goes to a question of full transparency all the time, like vomiting of it. I'm not sure is absolutely necessary because you're your own people. You're gonna do things in different ways. And some of the things are causing,

I don't need to know, for example, if my wife Like I said, we homeschool if Whatever. I wouldn't even care about any of these things actually. But if she were like, two hours, we just decided not to do school today. I said, kids, go do whatever you want and I caught up on reading a few texts and whatever. I don't need to know that. Don't care. A general rule, I trust you, things are going fine. You tell me if you need any help and I'll be glad to help you. But like, don't feel like you have to report to me your sick like your failures for today unless you want to. Like, if you want to share them with me. And I wouldn't consider that hiding or dodging.

And so I don't I like, that's just because they're fundamentally different people when it comes to, like, what is important. Totally. Totally. That is Ben, that's that's difficult communication in any situation. Yes. Yes. And so I so the point is the thing that that to work through, and this is true for marriages and friendships and and all the things, is that, like, recognizing you're completely different people. Marriages are different, of course, because, like, you wanna make sure it does not give you safe harbor for nefarious dealings. Yes. And for things that you're hiding from your wife or your spouse or whatever, like, you don't need you should be a totally open book, but someone has to choose to read it. I don't have to chuck the book from the library all the time at her face. I I just don't think that's necessary. And

again, but but but you do need to test it because it is a caution that you could start to get to a place where like you just get comfortable spending money and not saying anything about it or things that you know they wouldn't approve of and they would tell you to stop, but you don't wanna stop. And so you don't mention it. Know? Like, there's a danger in it. There's a danger in it for sure, which is why I brought it up. Yeah. Alright. You're listen to live from the path. I do you have any feedback for me? Hit us up on the live from the path complaint line. (515) 517-0085. Call or text. If you feel like I'm completely out of line and you know my wife and you want her to listen to the show, it'll all give it away. It's totally fine. I obviously recognize that releasing this to eight people on the interwebs opens up the possibility that she'll find out.

However, I maybe you have similar situations or other things that you're going through that you're like, well, I don't know. This feels grayish. Maybe you want Life From The Path to speak on it given our our advice today. But, anyway, Life From Path, Bob Isarco Plate Line, (515) 517-0085. Call or text. I would love to to hear your to your comments. So I think it's kind of fun actually that you're that sensitive to this, which shows how generally speaking, like, what am I trying to say? Like,

if my wife picked up my phone, I would give a rip because whatever. Dude, look, search for anything, I mean, have nothing to hide, and that's generally how you are. But you have this thing of like, Oh no. It's just kinda cool that you were sensitive to that and almost anxious about, I don't want you to see that. But it wasn't bad. No. And in some ways, you know, it's interesting because that that some of it, it feels like a gift. Yeah. And it's it's it's probably a right balancing. So it's it's in fact, it's fundamentally wrong to go, I will be a gift and do things roughly

better in my house. Like we just need help. And so I don't wanna think of it that way, but there was something where like, I didn't wanna like, if she were to look, just think back six weeks from now and go, you know, things have actually been a lot different and this is and I and that's great. I would like her to be able to receive that openly as opposed to feeling like

again, like, I don't want her to feel like, to your point, like, she gonna manage like, let me check your list. Like, I don't want that to happen at all. No. And it would it would tank it. So but anyway, I and I'll be honest. I I have actually suggested to a couple other fellas within the last few weeks to doing this very thing. And I I was actually gonna have my kids do it too. I keep neglecting to talk to them about it. But, like because again, you just it's odd. It's odd if you don't if you don't examine your days, like, you don't you get under some weird impressions that you just don't realize. Sure. I thought I thought I did a lot more. I thought I'd done a lot better.

Especially, like, when I go when there's key things going on in our house and I realized that I two weeks could go by and and, like, I didn't pick up the broom. Now it's fine. Like, there's plenty of there's older kids in my house. Things are normal that my wife would do. I fixed the lawnmower. She generally brooms. Okay? Fine. But, like, realistically, is it does it make sense that two weeks could go by, and I never saw anything that would otherwise cause me to go, you know, it's gonna take me thirty seconds. I should go grab that broom and sweep this up, especially with the gravel driveway. No. That's actually not acceptable. That means I'm not paying attention. And so, anyway, I just in case it's helpful, if I start a movement, then I feel like it goes down easier with my wife. But fellas, maybe just keep track of it for, like, a week or two and see if you feel like, yeah, this is rightly balanced or, you know, you think you're nailing it and maybe you're not. And so just write it down. Keep a journal. Gosh. I'd I've the journal thing is super helpful for me because, like, in my past, I have been so lazy. Yep. Like, so incredibly lazy. I would go weeks without cleaning my place when I live by myself. Like, it was bad. It was really bad. And so in a relentless pursuit to break that, I'm

fairly mindful of, like, when my laziness tries to take over. And so, like, ever since getting married, I it it's funny because I think, wow. She stuck with me, and I feel terrible about that most of the time. So, like, how much worse would it be if she was stuck with me and I didn't do the dishes is is is a very good,

like, thing to to motivate me sometimes. But, like, I'll find myself where I'm like, I'll see a piece of trash on the floor next to a trash can, and I'll be like, I'll pick it up later. And then I'll take three steps, and I'll turn around. I'll be like, it's the stupidest crap you've ever said. Why? You looked at it. You saw it. You're go do it right now. Like, go back and do that right now and throw it away. Because you know she'll do it. Well After you walk away. The interesting thing in my household is, like, my wife is my wife does a great job of, like oh, this is gonna sound so bad. She's fantastic. I love her to death. I'm home all the time, and so, like, I see stuff more often than she does. Uh-huh. And, like, cleaning happens for her when she's, like, has days off at work because she's away from home at work. For me, like, I'll be on a meeting, and then I'll take my dish to the sink, and then I'll realize after that meeting, hey. Go do that dish real quick and throw it in the sink, like or throw it in the dishwasher, get it done, and then go back to work because I'm 10 feet away from it all day. And so but, anyway, I just say that to say that, like, the journaling can help me on both sides of that to where, one, can kinda praise myself to go like, hey, man. You're not as lazy as you think you are sometimes. Like, you do you do good things. But then the flip side of, like, but maybe there's even more you could do. And, like but that's okay. Like, find those kind of things. So Yeah. I actually and it could work. Getting back I I actually think the the intimacy check marks aren't bad

if you have the right heart about it. Yeah. Because, like, sometimes, you know, you it's you probably should put some effort into things happening more often. If you're getting busy and going, you know what? We did not make time Right. For making time. And, like, I knew Boo Boo would love that. Oh, there's a shirt right there. T shirt of the day. He did that so much. I knew he would love it, so I said it. Agree with it so much, and I hate it so much. But, like, but here's the thing. And, like, either side of the relationship, there's always something that you know is important to somebody. Yeah. And, like, sometimes you don't realize when it's important to them, then they, like, they they are more aware of it than you are that the thing is missing. Just, like, frankly, and we've talked about this before, so I won't belabor the point, but, oftentimes,

the person who's home or, like, the the person who's primary responsible for taking care of all the things in the house recognizes all the things that aren't done, where I might walk I just might walk by them. I don't ever I rarely think about the cat litter as an example. And so, you know, she's gonna be very aware of something and, like, I legitimately hadn't put two seconds of thought into it, but what it looks like is that I'm neglectful about it. And so I actually my my journaling is is expanded a little bit. Now there's like rough pockets of here's something that happened today. Like, if it took a significant amount of time out of my day, wrote it down or like, you know, I realize how long has it been since I've, you know, my wife and I have made time to go out on a date. Well, don't know. I don't want my whole life to be a series of like check boxes and tracking 50 things. That's not what I'm trying to get to. However,

if I track at least loosely some of these things, it's getting my focus right now. And it's probably gonna get my focus until I have better habits and then something else probably will get my focus and I can start keeping notes of it or whatever. But like, it's just been super helpful frankly, it's allowed me I'll look back and I'll see, well, there's a day where I literally didn't do anything or like a gap where I'm like, what happened? I was out of town. But but you know what that should remind me? Not I I'm off the hook because I shouldn't I didn't do anything, but I was out of town. It's like, that means my wife took the full burden on when I was Did

I say something? Did I say, baby, thank you. I I know I was out of town. I know the whole you took care of everything while I was gone, and I appreciate it. You do great work around here. Right? Like, it reminds me to then do better at pointing out good things. I'm not likely to point out like negative things, but I'm not great pointing out positive things either. And so anyway, whatever, just don't overbook your life, but I think write some stuff down every once. So especially if it needs focus, it'll it's good. It's been helpful to me. Yeah. Alright. Let's give out some advice. Alright.

Dear life of the pain. My husband does not pick up anything in at our all. And he's hiding notes till the rain in his journal. I found puts x's on his calendar every time we my niece, Elle, and her husband, Liam, have been self employed for twenty years. But due to the economy, Liam decided to go into the workforce. He is now employed at a state job with great pay and benefits for them and their four children. Our family is elated for him and his family except Elle.

It's unbelievable how determined she is to get her husband fired. She can't stand for Liam to be away from her. She fights daily with him, telling him he has chosen a job over his family. They were always a nice family unit, but now Elle is destroying it because of the insecure, overbearing control she needs to have. It's heartbreaking to see, especially since their teenage kids are looking for other places to sleep due to the constant arguments. Wow. I wish I could make Elle understand that this job means they will no longer be struggling financially, but she doesn't care. She wants to be near Liam at all times. The situation is awful. I can't believe they may end up in divorce court because her husband got a great state job. Your thoughts on this, please? That is a tough position to be in for the dude. Right. You're doing the thing. Well, okay. Here's so here's let's start with where can I sympathize with the wife? You worked with your husband for twenty years,

and he has to find a job that is not working with you all the time. I I can understand how you would prefer the other thing. Yeah. That would be great. And but but it is not his reality. It is your reality. Like, you're as a couple, these are it is a we reality. We can't make our bills. We, although working outside, have been getting away with this for twenty years and that was fantastic, are not in a position where we can continue to do that. And so it is not fair to act like it is simply his decision, like he's off on some sort of like personal midlife crisis. Right. He's doing a we thing by taking a job so that we continue to sustain ourselves and live the life to support the kids and stuff. And like, it is extremely shortsighted

and selfish and frankly double problematic to make the man feel guilty for doing what was necessary to support his family. Right. Agreed. That's rough times. I I would now, there's something very unhealthy about that level of clinginess. Mhmm. Like, you should you should be able to be away from I from your spouse. I I get that you might miss them. That's totally fine. But you should be able to be away from them without and, frankly, allowing them to live a bit of their own life without you having to be together all the time. I would suggest maybe taking up a hobby or getting a job yourself for a while. Maybe you guys can start, you know, stockpiling. And then if you wanna relaunch as, you know,

your own business again in two or three years when the economy looks better, you got a good stash of cash and your kids are out to house, great. Like, that might even be a good place. So you you like, it's okay to say what we ideally want is both of us working together again. Put that on the goal sheet, man. Write it on the board. Figure out how you're gonna get there. But you're not gonna get there by having the dude quit his job, and you don't make the money that you need where you weren't making it before, and then everyone's got you're gonna just be fighting over different things. It doesn't seem like she's given him much reason to want to be home. Also to Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah. He's like, I'm sure glad I got this job. You know? So so okay. I have a dog who really likes me to be home. Oh boy. Loves it when I'm home. Just gets really anxious and sad when I leave. And so

at some point, I thought, man, I need to make this a positive for my little dog, Turk. And so I got a bag of those no rawhide stick chew things. And so every morning now, I'll leave, I give him that, and then he's very happy that I'm leaving, and I'm very happy, and we all leave in a happy matter of fact, he will

on the day I'm not leaving, he'll be trying to push me out the door. He can't he's like, would you you know? We Get out of here. Have a pattern here, and I want my treat. Right? If you leave, I get this thing. This is good. This is good. So I'm not saying you get dog treats. Mhmm. But but like you mentioned, you get a hobby, do something, just make make some positive thing. Well, he's gone, and when he's gone, I do x. Yeah. I or I get you know, whatever that is. I read a chapter of a book. I Yep. Something. And that way it's a positive, and you're redirecting your mind from, oh, it's really sad. He's not here, and I wish we could hold hands and call clients all day, but whatever it is you did, find something, some outlet that you have that gives you something to look forward to. Yep. So Dan Dan, I recognize that you did say this is not what you're saying, but I do love a world in which what you're saying is positive behavioral recognition by handing her a Dutch letter every morning as you walk out the house. Go, baby, I know you love the flavor of almond. Here you go. And then you leave, and then you come back and she goes, man, thanks for that Dutch letter, dad. Like, that was the best. Yeah. Thanks. I wish you'd leave more often. Alright. Give me a dozen of those. Oh gosh. Secular says,

I think your niece's insecurity and insistence on having her husband on a short leash at all times is unhealthy, to say the least. She needs professional help, and Liam should insist upon it. If she refuses, he will then have to decide whether the current status of their marriage is something he wants to tolerate for the foreseeable future and plan his next steps accordingly. Yeah. You didn't really say the least. Yeah. You didn't Yeah. Like, you kept going. Yeah. To say the least. And I I I'm gonna maybe add in here as well that she's talking about her niece. There's a good there's a good chance you really don't know all the facts. Yeah. Mhmm. That's a good point. I mean, yeah, you might be getting it from the kids that are reaching out, looking for a place to sleep. Right. Right. Like and you know that's not a trustworthy place. Yeah. Okay. It is it is true. And, actually, Boob and I have talked about this recently that, like, you you almost never

was that you and I were talking about it? Maybe. But, like, you almost never get a whole story. Yes. Right? Like, everyone's a fallible narrator. Yep. Right. And so I would maybe like, if you only got one person talking, maybe vet it out a little bit. Maybe offer to talk to them both. Why don't you do that? Why don't you invite them over and say Before you offer divorce? Yeah. Right. Talk them talk it through with them. Yeah. If you're the close aunt that can have that conversation, great. Yeah. And maybe you know, here's the thing is that, like, what what could be difficult for the lady is not only that her husband's gone, but, like, he's almost crafting a life without her. Not intentionally, but, like, he's think about it this way. If let's say let let's just go with the traditional work setup. Mhmm. He he leaves his house this the morning at 07:30, 08:00. He's gonna listen to a radio program or a podcast or music that they are not both listening to. She's not used to that. They're they're used to being together, working together, whatever. Right? He's having lunch with coworkers that she doesn't know. He's got stories that she has not privy to, like a whole context of his life. And for a for a long time too, he's got let's say he works eight hours a day. You got a half an hour either side of commute. You're nine hours, and that's if you're not stopping random places. Like, didn't just lose that's right. The gas station. She didn't just lose, like, a marriage or or, like, a a coworker. He also has a life that feels like it's going on without her. Now that's not the reality. Like, I mean, it is in some ways, but, like, there's no reason to see it that way. Yeah. But, like, there's a lot to to reckon with here. And, like, if you're the type of person who's a bit

bit clingy in here, this is gonna feel worse than just, well, thanks for taking one for the team. Do what you have to do. Exactly. Because, like, the reality is sometimes I've had this conversation at my house is that like I know like sometimes my work does not come up with a lot of the deadlines are a little bit squidgy and I get to choose. Like my day gets partitioned out, but like I kinda get to maneuver around if I want to. I get to say no to things if I want. Sometimes I get to leave early if I want to. Like it feels luxurious, but, like, it's not really. Like, I and and or or, like, I have my own separate life. Like, oh, well, you went out to you went out to lunch. I'm like, I just ate lunch. Like, it feels exotic. Yes. I didn't go on a trip. Right. Chicken chicken nuggets. And even even traveling because I like, I'll travel every once in a while and, like, it feels like, oh, you got to stay in the night at a hotel. I'm like, it's a it was I still the last time I was out, I was out at a real divey Hyatt. Like, it wasn't Hyatt sound nice, but this whatever that was, the the weirdest conference It was a lit. The the Hyatt was, like, super nice. It was a really nice one, except for they wanted, like, $400 a night for the room, and I said, I I I'm not doing that. And so I ended up at a Hyatt that was close to there. This was not the same level of Hyatt. This they looked like an apartment building. Oh, no. Alright? At which like, I mean, okay. I got to spend some time where, like, other people weren't dragging for my attention. Totally.

But it was not luxurious. It was like, I would have preferred to be in my own bed and at my own house, but it seems different. So I sympathize with her. I'm not even sure it's a counseling problem yet. Definitely not a divorce problem. It may not even be a counseling problem. It's just a transitional life thing. So I'd like invite them over. Maybe you can be the center who helps navigate. Does is the husband being insensitive to those things? Even even if he didn't wouldn't have felt them. Maybe the dude would have no problem settling in. He just he just acclimates to his life. But it's different for her because it feels like she's left behind. Okay, maybe he needs to handle things a little bit more sensitively. Maybe he needs to come right home, make sure he's not doing anything extra so that it doesn't feel so different, until she can get used to it. So like,

I would say it's a talk through first before it's counseling and then it's probably counseling, and then it's still not divorce, it's figuring out how to acclimate to this new reality. Yeah, think he should maybe make a note in his phone of different things that he can do, Maybe monitor that. Right. Take a look at it. But she'll feel more fulfilled, so will he. That's right. That's right. I got time for one more. I got time for one more. And another thing. Dear lab from the path, my husband and I retired six years ago and moved from California to Texas. I have two grown sons, and my husband has two grown daughters still living in Cali. My husband's oldest daughter, 50, just came to visit along with her 10 year old daughter. On the Sunday they were to leave, my husband was to take them to the airport in the morning and leave me home to read my Sunday paper. Before they left, his daughter wanted a picture of all of us together. I told her I didn't want a picture taken in my nightgown, but she said it would only be from the neck up. I acquiesced, and she took the shot.

Two days later, former clients of mine from California posted on Facebook how glad they were to see me look so happy in retirement. My husband showed me the Facebook post to get me from the waist up in my nightgown on his daughter's page. I don't go on Facebook. I don't want my likeness on Facebook, and I'm not happy that after expressing my feelings about having my picture taken in my nightgown, his daughter put me on Facebook. Isn't it common decency to ask someone before arbitrarily posting their picture on Facebook? I don't know if it's common decency. It's not. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you Absolutely not. You could make a case that it would be it's a good idea to say, like, hey. Do you mind if I post this on Facebook? And she's 10. Yeah. Well, it was the it it wasn't the it wasn't the It's the 50 that that posted. It was the 50 year old. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. The 10 year old wanted the photo. The 50 year old posted it without cropping it.

Yeah. Yeah. Waist up in a nightgown. Well, I mean, why didn't Sounds like a terrible outfit. Change your clothes? Real quick. She was she was very excited to be in her nightgown reading her Sunday paper, Ben. Is she like Angel Reese, everything kinda flopping out? I don't want to think about or answer that question. I'm just why would you be so upset if it's everything's covered? Yeah. I mean, maybe yeah. I mean, I don't like to be seen in my nightgown regardless of what's covered. Right. Don't look great in a muumuu, Dan. It's just the truth. I can I can picture it? I think you It's tie dye. Don't worry about it. Oh, that does change the image. Hold on. Recalibrating.

Re recalibrating opinion. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. A tie dye moo moo, say no more. Where does the circle originate? Where's the radius? So I must see the pattern. Yeah. So you need to let this go. I think

I think it would make sense. Like, if she you she knew you were sensitive about it. And so is it necessary to post the picture? No. It's not. The world would've would've continued turning without a picture of you in your nightgown for sure. And so the 50 year old daughter certain I think should've respected your wishes. However, I would submit two things to you. If she wanted a picture to commemorate the moment, I I think you should have said, give me five minutes. Let me change my clothes. That would have been good. What what what is in this paper that you've haven't like Macross learns. Yeah. That's it'll be there whether you have a blouse on or not. Okay? And so you should have offered to change your clothes. Secondly,

even though she did post it, like, what do you care? And so far, experientially, the only two things that have happened are residents that go or your previous clients that go, hey. You look happy. Yeah. Right. They took it positively. And like no one ever most people don't love pictures of themselves anyway. And so like, I just I wouldn't worry about it. Like, what's even if even if they saw it and even if you weren't your best, things are lower than they should be. The makeup's not on like you would want. Whatever. Oh, okay. Like, okay. And so what? What what are you, like, 75?

What is like, it's it's time to give it up. The thing is though Things are lower than they should be. I often It's the concern in the night. I I often will post embarrassing pictures of myself because I think it's funny that everybody tries to put the best Dan gets ahead of it. What's that? I said Dan gets ahead of it. Yeah. He's like, you're not gonna find a photo of me. I'm gonna post it. If I have something on my teeth, I'll make sure I post that. Right. You know, I do something stupid. I'll I'll post that. And and the problem because so many people try to put their very, very best, like, and I realize that for that reason, I often ask people's permission. Hey, can I put this on? Just out of courtesy, especially my family. I can't think of any family member. I've never just thrown them up there. But if she's not even on it, why does she care? Yeah. What do you care? Yeah. It's like, if she's not gonna see it again, nobody nobody cares that much. It's not like they framed it and put it on their wall.

You know? It's like, okay. They saw that. Oh, yeah. Like and they went on with their life and liked 17 cat videos. Right. It reminded them of you Yeah. And that you existed, and it brought back happy memories. I thought you looked relaxed and retired. And the person that says, I don't want my likeness on Facebook is also the same person that if they had a Facebook, they would share that stupid thing that gets shared around by all the old people on Facebook every time that says, I own all of this, and I don't let anyone take all of my pictures, and you can't have it, Internet. And by the way, my actual profile picture is a recipe for a snickerdoodle. Yeah. Here's the Because I don't know what I'm doing. Here's what I know is our generation as as like, recognize that, like, the game is up, man. They have you. Yes. They do. Have you. 100%. I don't whatever protection you think is going on, and I have my birth certificate. I I don't exist. Get off Facebook if you want to. Every grocery store's got you on film.

The like, people are filming you all the time. Like, there's a guy we we work with a guy who's, like, very adamant. Like, he he you know, people can't take his picture because they're gonna I I would there's a hotel. I was at Minneapolis one time, and, when you walk in the door, they take your it just takes your photo and puts it up on a big screen. Like, okay. It was supposed to be hip. This was a weird hotel. Another Hyatt now that I think about it. You need to get out of these Hyatts. No. I also no. I take that, but it was a Radisson Red. There was the I gotta find this picture. It there was, like, a devil deer reindeer in a in the shower tile, and then some surprised spaceman painted on the back of the wall behind the bed. Like, he's like, okay. Hold on. I'm gonna get back. It was something like this. Like like, his phones are weird.

Weird as crap. No. Anyway, he the the guy I work with was like he was lit up about it. He's like he's like, they can't just take your image like that. They're gonna own your image. I'm like, dude, you live in Minneapolis, like, or near it. They they have you. You ever go in a gas station? They have you. Yep. Everybody so you've ever been like someone's taking videos all the time and you walk by in the distance. I like, we've we've we've given it that is compiling. Yes. Given it up. And so it's time to let it loose. Whatever image like, I understand. I if your gut reaction is, I wish she wouldn't have done that. Okay. Take a breath. Realize nobody cares, and you shouldn't care either, and let it go. Alright. You ready for secular advice? I'm going to assume that your husband's daughter didn't post the family picture on her page to inflame you. She may have forgotten her promise to you. Because this isn't the impression of your happy retirement you want to convey, ask her to take it down and hope she complies. If she doesn't, do not pose for any more family pictures when she's behind the camera. I find people asking folks to take stuff down pretentious,

just in general. Yeah. It's happened to it's happened to the show a few times. Got people reach out and go, hey. We take videos down. Yeah. Standards. Yeah. And here's the thing. Like, I understand. In fact Absolutely. That's generally what I'll respond back. Like, I could see disassociating yourself from the show. I've thought about it myself. Right? As a as a ingrained. That's what I said externally. But internally, I thought, you pretentious turd. Like, what do you care? It was like someone's gonna go dig up this old interview unless you've left the faith. And then I would understand it. But frankly, if you've left the faith and you're gonna advocate for it, you could at least go see. Look how I was. This is what I used to be. Right. I just we're not that embarrassed. Like, we're embarrassing. I get it, but, like, we're not that embarrassing. And so I I I do actually find it pretentious. It's the same reason we're, like, I've I've never actually pulled a program. We've got we've had programs where it wasn't a good show and then the lord has erased the tapes. Like, the file didn't save, the computer crashed, I I legitimately couldn't post it. That's probably happened a good half dozen times. And we bought and then we would look back and go, man, that wasn't a good show anyway. No problem. For that. Yeah. But, like, I've never not released a show even if it wasn't a good one because I'm like, man, it was what we did. Yeah. Right. Take it in.

May may you learn your lesson from from our ridiculousness. This is me. Actually, I always have that too. I'd like, I live with I got four kids and three of them are girls. And, like, it's often they're like, dad, did you see your hair? I'm like, no. I didn't one, I don't have any. And two, I didn't look at it. Or my wife will be like, hey. It's time to time to I got hair coming out my ear. She's like, did you look? I'm like, nope. I'll tell you this. I haven't examined my ear in probably three weeks. Why like, and it's because in general, I'm like, this is what I look like. Yeah. I was like, dad, can you True. I can't believe that you're going out like that. I'm like, it's it's what I what am I gonna do? Like, I made peace with myself a long time ago. Right. I'm a very no average looking man, and I have an average looking receding hairline. I there's no distinct figure about me. Like, I'm just a very normal looking fellow, and I don't think anything about that. That's okay. It's who I am. So what am I supposed to do? That's funny because I'm ugly, and I know that, and I'm fine with that. But, like, I have if there's any manicuring that I've done to my my my appearance and or what I put out to the world,

it's for your good, people, not mine. Like, I'm not actually doing any of this for me. Like, I wear undershirts because no one likes the belly. Like, if I reach up to grab a canned good off the top for a lady, I don't want I don't want any hanging coming out from under my shirt, so I wear undershirts. I also know how big guys are usually classified as the fellas who have, like, 11 and a half miles of butt crack. And it's like, you know what? I don't have that because I wear undershirts, and it's for your good. Oh, you still have it. It's just covered up. Right. True. Yes. Exactly. It's covered up. Fine. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with not being the guy that people like, I'm sorry. I can't I can't focus on what I'm doing right now. Do you see that gentleman over there that is spilling over the top of his clothing like a muffin that had too much muffin put into the muffin tin? Yeah. It's No. It's the plumb line of the temple over there. Uh-uh. Nobody says that about me. They go, wow. That guy is appropriately dressed with the correct sized clothing. Here's the deal. Like, they but it's not true, though. Like, you're a I would say you're a normal looking fella, maybe actually a plus one. I mean, not plus 10 for certain, but, like, I you're not I mean, I appreciate that you're giving me a plus one here. You're not mean, you're but you're not a you're not an unfortunate looking man. I would say that the vast majority of society would disagree with that. I don't think Which I don't care about. I'm married, and I'm I'm married to a very beautiful woman. Yeah. I don't think that see us and go, wait. What? Yeah. I don't think that's true. But irrelevant,

though. The point is is that, like I mean, you are who you are. Yeah. And and, like, you may wanna work with. You may take pains to try to do the best you can with what you have. Yep. But there's no reason to act like this is not like, I don't have any more than this. This is what I have available to work with. This is why I go to a good barber. His name's nice guy e, and he's great. And that's the only thing I got to go with is is that's the presentable thing I can fix. Mhmm. Make my hair look good. Yeah. Shave my eyebrows a little. Give it some discretion. Yeah. He'll do it. I've never asked him to, but he'll do it. I don't yeah. Anyway, you're listening to life from the path. Maybe you're, average looking. I think you should, actually, you should brace that. You are who you are. And if someone ever post a a unfortunate picture of you on Facebook, you go, well, I mean, that's what I must look like at the time. The photo evidence affirms it. Unless this has been tampered with. Like,

We should post embarrassing photo of dad. I'm like, it's what I look like. What is it? Like, it's no no takey backses. It's not embarrassing. That's just me. Yeah. Anyway, you're listening to Life From Path. Make sure you hit up that complaint line, (515) 517-0085. Hey. Another thing, if you've not just this is the time to to clean up your social media feed. So if you've not liked life from the past, you can get, reminded of all the, old shows that are being, coming up there posting. You should, you should go like that. We're posting every ten hours. There's a fresh retro Awesome. Retro hit coming your way, and, you should get in on that also if you And know that I don't agree with me either. So, like, whatever you're gonna listen to that's old and you don't agree with me on, I probably don't agree with me either. It's No. We've said some sketchy things for sure. Also, if you've not left a comment or rated the show on your podcast app, may this be the time. In fact, I want you to start a note journal every day and just indicate whether you remembered to rate the podcast and leave a comment as to how great it is or how if it's terrible, whatever. Just be kind to people and say true things. And that way, you can keep track of it. So if I if I ask you, you would be able to say, no, sir. Actually, I I admit that every last thirteen days, I've not done that. But you should remember to do it. And then I won't then I then every time I say it, it's not to you. It's to the other poor schleb who's not done it. And so you should just get it off your list. K? Taxes first, and then rate life from the path, and then you should call your dad or something. See how he's doing in that order. Wow. You've been listening to Live from the Path. We are gonna cut you loose. It is very likely we will be back next week, although I suppose we'll,

we'll see how it goes. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to Live from the Path.