Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live from the Path. And you're listening to live from the Path. We're coming from the Pathway Studios here on Johnston Proper. It is delightful to be with you here this evening. Alright. So I was recently accused of not washing my hands after I went to the bathroom. Why are you saying this right now? And as a result, now I make a big show of it. Like, I walk out of there Blanched out. I'm like, no. No paper towels at this conference.

I didn't like the accusation. And so now when I especially if I'm out in public, I'll take some paper towels with me and still be drying my hands by the time I get out of there. I'll make a real show of it. So people are like, that dude definitely washed his hands. Okay. Glad this has changed your mind to prove that you wash your hands. Yeah. The truth is because sometimes I don't. Woah. Good. No one was surprised by that part of the story. Okay. Hey, Ben. What are we doing tonight? Yeah. Okay. Here's what we got going on the on the program today besides creating disappointment in the lives of children of the neighborhood.

The we've got some some bad Christian guidance for the New Year. Oh, dear. I've chosen surprise there. I've chosen a smattering of of articles from our favorite beliefnet.com.org Yes. .Ous. And you guys are gonna like them. We're gonna see if we get some some solid Christian direction for the beginning of the new year. Great. Love that so much. Also, we were debating before the show started whether it's okay not to like Solomon. Yeah. And so we're gonna talk a little bit about about that. What's the case against Solomon? How should you react? I mean, I I think similar questions may exist for David,

parts of Samuel, Eli for sure, Moses at times. Or people that have given their kids a biblical name, and you're like, why would you name your kid Lamech? Did you read that story? Yeah. Actually Like, upside down king for every time. It's it's really it's the Old Testament stuff. Like, people are like, oh, I I named my kid Asa. I'm like, I don't know. You shouldn't have done that. Most people are not bold enough to name their kid Noah. You know what I'm saying? Like, I've seen it. You see it a little bit. You know? But, like, there's not a ton of Noah's. It's the homeschoolers. They do it. It is probably most there are a lot of there's a lot of Noah's. I've never met a Jezebel. Nope. Oh,

boy. I've never met an Enoch. That is discerning. Seems to be the best one. I know. You should definitely name your kid Enoch. I know. Would you what would you would we have a nick would you call him Enoch? Like, what would you call him? Would you say full Enoch all the time or, I mean, I can't because the only other thing I can think of is is saying Eno or Knock or Big e. Big e? Yeah. That's what you're gonna call your kid? Yeah. Mike, don't ever name a child Enoch. Enoch. Okay. Hey, Big e. Okay. What's up, Biggie Smalls? Dan, do you remember, like, the most

un not normal baby name that you like, did you have one that you, like, gave up on, but you were like, I think this would work? No. Because I I if I if I thought it was obnoxious, I just kinda cast it out pretty quick. So I I can't even think of any that stuck long enough to be talked out of it. My wife is a nanny. Yeah. And she has a running list of insane children's names that she hears in the nanny circles and, like, being yelled out at parks and stuff like that. Like, there is some gold on that list. I'll see if I can grab ahold of the list. Yeah. And then we can go through some of them in in the in the coming weeks because she there's some doozies. Yeah. There's some real doozies where it's like, wait. People name their children now, like, straight up, like, Apple and Yeah. Yeah. Like, I I think Apple Paltrow is an actual child in, like, celebrity world. Yeah. But, like, I think there are also, like, people in the Midwest that are naming their children Apple and, like, Pear and Guinevere. I wanted so I got I got two that come to mind that my wife talked me out of. The first was man.

Man two n's. Man? Like, manfoost. Not even short fur. As a matter of fact, I've Manfoost? I have a picture of Mike wearing a T shirt that says roll sixes for Manfoost. Yeah. Because I was trying to get my wife to say if I could roll double sixes, then she should agree that we can call this kid Manfoost. Oh, so this was your idea? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Manfoost? Okay. Yeah. Do it. Like like, could be Maniford,

Maniford. Like, all kinds of cool names. Could be. You could call him little man when he's young and big man. Little little man. I could see it. Yeah. Yeah. Also Little Alright. I'm totally cool. Is now. Yep. Shoot. It didn't even take that long to get me on this. It's cool. I also felt very strongly about Graves. Grave? Yeah. Grave. Not Grave. The name Graves? Grave. Yeah. Grave. Like the plural for grave? Yeah. I thought that that's a cool name. You Grave? Could spell it. You didn't have to say v e s. You could do a a e v e s or something. No. Should spell it standard so people don't get mad at you. I mean, he could yeah. Anyway, Graves or what else did I want? Not wishing sadness on your life, but, like, here lies Graves Foost.

I mean, eventually. You just save it eventually. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, no. No wishing sadness on you. And that's Graves may make it to 85. Not to literally make Graves in the gardens. Literally. Not to stick along that line, but I also I also like ransom. Jeez. Ransom?

Boost? I wanna name my kid Larceny. What? Okay. Now that one Sounds like you're trying to name a boxcar child in 1935. Okay. That one that one, though, it was the name of of one of the characters from like, the lead character in CS Lewis' space trilogy. His name was Ransom. Oh, yeah. I just thought it was cool. It was always a cool name. I'm just imagining you having twins named Ransom and Battle, and I can only imagine those people actually born in 1935 because I can only ever envision my great great grandfather Ransom. Yeah. Okay. My conversation is always was centered around what would their first grade friends, how will they mock them? Mhmm. And that's how we always got rid of names. My family never got to have that conversation because it didn't matter what we named our first names. It was always going to be ridiculous based on last names. Yep. And so Boova's a rough one. Boova is a rough one. You can never win that one, especially in The Philippines. Actually, I'm kinda curious. If you have I don't know. What baby names if you're of the of the age in life of which you've named babies,

which what did you reject that you're like you you were serious. I was serious about both of the graves and ransom, and, man, all three of those, I'm I'm in. So, anyway, hit up that live from the path, complaint line, (515) 517-0085. Call or text, I wanted to name my baby what? Stephanie. That's not wild. It is, though. I I've I've met I've I've I've find Stephanie's to be fifty fifty. Yeah. Yeah. Just on whether or not you like them as a person. Yeah. Whether or not they're good people. They bring a lot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I know. Here's what Stephanie's out there. We're fifty fifty on you. I know a current like, I know a few Stephanie's, like, right now that are good people, and I knew Stephanie's when I was in in elementary school that were good people, but then there's, like, a middle section of Stephanie's. Weird period of your life where Stephanie's were rough. No. No. We we had the same conversation. Like, we're gonna name him Fred, whatever. Like, oh, no. I knew a Fred. That's true. Know, we all you always go back to people you knew, but the name and you're like, we can't do that. Think about this. There's a guy named Brandon that I went to school with when I was, like, in second grade, and he ruined Brandon probably for multiple people. Yeah. Dang. Yeah. There was a He was not a good Brandon. There was a depreciation of Brandons Yeah. Because of this dude. The depreciation of Brandons is an awesome Band Aid, by the way. That is awesome. Anyway okay.

So so anyway, that's what we got going on the show this evening. I'm gonna go let's let's hit up you guys. BUVA, 12 3? Middle of road. Let's do 2. Okay. Four reasons. Oh, what the heck is all this? Never mind. You asked me one, two, and three, and then went straight to four reasons. Here it is. Four reasons god is keeping you single. Oh, boy.

In your marriage. What? Whoops. Uh-oh. Subtitle, you want a relationship, but why won't god bless you with one? I'm Oh, boy. I'm being real cautious on this premise here. Yeah. Here we go.

What You live in your mother's basement. Number one. Your name is Brandon. It's not time yet. Oh, cryptic. Classic. Trust in the lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight. God has a plan and a purpose for your life. He knows everything is going on in your future and has the perfect timing for everything,

for everyone that will enter your life. You must not go against his plan. We like this advice so far? This is terrible advice. It's a yeah. It's it's terrible advice. Yeah. Not in this context. I love it. Oh, I mean But in this context, this advice sucks. If you extended it to other Right. Context, it's very difficult to take in. Yeah. Alright. For example, there may be someone you're very attracted to, but you know they're not a Christian. Why are you dating them? God tells us not to be unequally yoked. Therefore, getting caught up with an unbeliever is a big mistake. Singleness at times can be lonely, but going outside god's principles in any way will only bring you more heartbreak. Okay? This middle part kind of Hold up. Yeah. The first argument or first in this list of four reasons why you're single is you're actually in a relationship with someone who is is not a Christian? No. It took a weird turn. It's not it's it's not God's timing. God has a plan, and you being single right now is part of it. What if God doesn't care who you're with?

As far I mean, I can I can I'm with with with this person on on to be with someone who has a love for God? I think that's just wise. Yeah. Totally. But maybe he doesn't care. Then maybe there's another thousand people out there who would be perfect matches, and he's not gonna be upset if you're with them. Ain't that wild? Right. Yeah. Maybe you're on christianmingle.com, and your dating profile sounds really, really rough, and, like, you're full of yourself and have nothing to offer. Yeah. And then the whole time you're sitting there going, why is God keeping me from a relationship? Yeah. But but Dan's Dan's even got a surprise from the Rez here. He's saying, what if you don't have a soulmate? Yeah. Exactly. Well, I mean, who says there's only that one? Right. Yeah. I mean, I'm yeah. I mean

Yeah. What if humans are not all that unique? You know? Like like But he he knit me in my mother's womb. Boy, this show's not gonna make the Valentine's Day card. He knit you in your mother's womb to look like the other guy and to act similar to him. I I don't know. That's it that's it's the problem is is, like, with a fatalistic point of view that way. Right? Like, when it doesn't work out, whether you whether it was by your cause or the other person's cause or whatever Mhmm. You like, you're almost left to go,

god screwed me. Right? Like, he did not fulfill his promise. He did not do the thing that he was supposed to do. I waited and I waited and I waited for god to bring this perfect man and and or perfect woman. And then at the end of the day, what it turns out, what it really helped is if you showered on a regular basis and weren't a self centered boob. Right. If you did those two things, then the dating world opens up a little bit. And you were maybe, like, considered the people that you were going to date, one, that they followed Jesus in a way that you shared some common values and how you look at life. But, like, there's a lot of things that, like, with the knowledge both within the Bible and contextually with humanity itself that you could just do that would probably help your plight. Yeah. Yeah. Especially if you are literally sitting in your apartment praying, like, Lord, send me somebody. Send me someone to be soulmates with. God's like, maybe you should go out to the store. You're like, I ain't going out to the store. I have Amazon bring all my stuff. Yeah. Okay. I'm just gonna listen to these spicy podcasts. Maybe a dude will show up who who will show up and sweep me off my feet. You're like, hey, man. Like, you you can't you ain't gonna meet nobody that way. Right? Like, it's not because god can. He does not want to. Yeah. If you're go ahead, Dan. Oh, I said I went I went to old school, you know, bible college. Right? And there was a whole entire dormitory full of women who love Jesus.

I don't think I was on the edge of a seat saying, I hope he picks the right one. You know? I mean, mean, I've got that one for him. I mean, I I happened to pick one that was really great. We've been together forty years. But but, you know, there there's a few others I could have chosen from who who tried. And it's like, I don't think he would have been highly disappointed. You know? And it's like, nope. That's not my plan. You're going down, buddy. I I think that's maybe I don't agree with the premise of of their argument here. I mean, I think you're just a better dude than I am, Dan, because I think god, like, directed me to the only option. I think I think I found the one, and he he made it perfectly to where, like, that was awesome for me. I don't think there was a field of ladies. Maybe you just drove the others away. So, like, I mean You're not wrong. Is it possible that god does

bring people together? I think the answer can be yes to that. You can. Yeah. Possible that he doesn't? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I think it's the same way how you think about God's intervention in your life in general. Like, can he give you something specific to do? Yes. He can. Sure. Does it mean everything in your life is specified? Actually, we were having this conversation at my house because we were talking about, hey. Setting goals for 2025. And, like, one of the questions was, hey. Should we even bother setting goals? Like, if God didn't give me one,

and shouldn't I check with him first? I'm like, well, if your life otherwise aligns with the character of Jesus, then your goals will probably reflect that. But if you look at all your goals and you're like, I want a house that dominates the neighborhood, and I want more power over people. I mean, these are not good goals. I I wanna chalk pumpkins with a hockey stick. Absolutely. Why do your goals sound like Sauron? What's happening here? I guess that's

the thing, though, is is that, like, hey. Is it possible that I set a bunch of goals that are self centered? It is possible, but, like, it's kinda more of a heart issue. I think I would check. But, like Sure. Yeah. I I I was thinking back on my goals for last I mean, like, should I read my bible more, find more dedicated time for prayer, and make sure that I'm using what God has given me to help others? It's been pretty consistent on the list. Like, I'm not after world domination. Yeah. But but, actually, if you think about I wanna I wanna take out pumpkins with swords.

Like, if god is if if if my son came to me and said, dad, you know what I really wanna do? He's like, I got a goal of taking out seven pumpkins with this katana. I'd be like, you know what? Yeah. That sounds fun. Let's do that. Set that up. Yeah. And, do date. Heck yeah. Sounds like a fall project, myself. It's it's it was one of The Indian pumpkin. It was one of the things of, like, hey. Can you is it possible that you set a goal that is, like, antagonist, like, that you would enjoy, but maybe god doesn't want you? I like, it almost frames, I think, god's positioning toward us in kind of a, if I don't own your entire goal sheet, then I'm upset with it as opposed to, like, if I found something that one of my kids delighted in and they wanted to, like, hey. I really wanna do this. I wanna learn more piano. I don't have to go did god say it was okay for you to learn piano? Now, like, I'm I'm exaggerating the thought, but, like, it it's what it gets at when, like, do I have to if god didn't give me a goal, do I have any? Well, I don't know. Do you? Like, it's okay. True. The original goal was just go be be fruitful and multiply, not be fruitful and multiply specifically with Karen. It's just yeah. Go yeah. Dominion. Go do it. Have fun. It does it does have, like I'm sure there's plenty of theological arguments about what I just said was completely wrong and off the wall. There's a Fine. Dealing in that reality. There's a stretch where this stops. Right? This is not all encompassing, and you can't, like, stretch this to fit every situation. But, like, we're turning our affections over to him and letting god

Yeah. Right? Like, change the affections of our hearts. Right. And mostly to to to match his character. And, right, is god well aware that there's pianos and katanas and pumpkins? And you know I'm saying? Like like, you they can be you can have what what are autonomous human character choices that are still within the affection of his heart. Right? And so, like, now granted it there there's a stop here because the affection of his heart is what we're going for. I can't just say the affection of your heart Yeah. To mirror his because, like, you've then people go off and do nutty things and then tie him to it like it was his deal. You know? But, like, really, what we're submitting to is that he is creator, ruler, and overall benevolent god who wants to create his character in us and be reflection of him because that's where the joy and the freedom of the world he created comes from. And does that encompass

learning to play the harpsichord with your thumbs or and with your toenails? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It does. Right? Like, if that's if that's you got time for it and, you know, you're otherwise submitting to what Jesus has and your your kids are loved, your spouse feels appreciated, and you're helping the folks. Yeah. Right. Like, it it actually goes back to, in my mind, something you said before, Ben. It's like, in this instance, right, like, you're praying because you have, you know, the hots for Jenny and and, like, Jenny very obviously doesn't seem to have the hots for you. Your prayer is, Lord, make Jenny like me kind of thing. Right? Like, you are you are actively praying for the Lord to take away Jenny's will and and so that she is now stuck on you. Yeah. Like, really wants you to be in her life. You did not take any step back and go like, hey, am I the kind of person that attracts a Jenny? Or that is best for Jenny? Yeah. Right. It is for Jenny. Like, am I gonna be a good honoring person to Jenny that's like the right person here? Most of the time, people and I this is certainly myself here, and I'm I'm calling myself out here because for for years I prayed the whole single man's prayer kind of thing. And rarely did I take a step back and go like, Lord, can you help make me into a person that deserves to be or is is is the right person to be in a relationship? Like, Lord, allow me to be a a good enough man so that I can be loving to one of your daughters and honoring to them. Yeah. I prayed that when I was in my right mind sometimes, but most of the time, I'm just sitting there sad and angry because I'm like, man, this is ridiculous. Yeah. I'm a real smoke show. Right. Where are these gals at, Lord? I look in the mirror every morning and go, this is what the Lord made today. Yeah. Right? And, like, I never thought to myself, maybe a bunch of gals don't really care about the difference between fourth and fifth edition and and

how how the mage class went to this and. Like, it's just like I never looked at what I was doing for me nor was I ever really subjecting myself to go, god, what is your will for my life? I was very much just praying like, god, grant me my prayers or I will be angry at you. Yep. Yeah. You set yourself up to date another man like yourself. Right. Lord, find me, Abuba. Right. I really wanna look in the mirror and see myself. And I I will say, like, it does not imply that the answer is always true the other direction. So, like, just because you do not have a a mate or succumb someone currently on the line doesn't mean that you're doing anything particularly wrong. Right. And and like we said a few weeks ago, I actually do think things do tend to work out. You like, the the right person responds to you in the right way. But I I don't know. I I think if you pull it too far to the edge and go, well, it'll happen when god wants it to happen. Well, there's all kinds of things that god wants to wants you to do Right. That you are not faithful in doing or you're not participating in. So, like, you you do actually still gotta leave the house. You do gotta, you know, smile at someone to know you are friendly. Like, it's all kinds of stuff that you actually have to participate in life for someone else's benefit as long as well as your own. And so it's it's not like, both of the neither of those extremes are helpful, I think, when it comes to this question. Okay. Obi Dan, will you say something? I was

just kind of pondering that how many times has God had a specific plan for someone? You could you could maybe make an argument of, well, you look at the lineage of Jesus, there was a goal to have a Messiah. Mhmm. But then you even look at that and you go, like, really? Was he hoping that was it Rahab that was gonna be there? Hanging out with his daughter-in-law. I mean, you know Yep. Right. Who he thought I was a prostitute? You know, like, come on. Go for her. I mean,

that really the plan, or is that well, that's what happened, and it happens to work. Yeah. God made it work. A lot of questions there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Was that the plan? I'm really hoping you you make it with your daughter-in-law because she's dressed up as a prostitute. You know? We need a messiah. I got a mullet bike. Give me I a mean, Yeah. And, like, like, the same the same thing. Like, would Israel been able to to continue just fine in the relationship as Yahweh as their king with judges? Yeah. Probably. They asked for a king. They got one. And and, yes, Jesus comes through that, but it did it have to be inevitable in that same way? I don't know. Maybe that's why it took so long. Might. Maybe. I don't know. I mean, just saying. Multiple exiles and lots of kingdoms rising and falling. And Oh, lord. Yeah.

Number two, there were four reasons god is keeping you single. Number two, god isn't. Satan is. Oh gosh. Satan will do whatever he can to prevent a Christian marriage from developing because he wants to bring people far away from Christ. A great marriage can have the opposite effect where the couple's love of god only gets deeper and stronger. I will tell you that sometimes bad marriages chase people away from Jesus. And so I think that this the the the opposite of this can be true where, like, you marry a person. The marriage doesn't go very well, and there's some semblance of somebody saying that they follow Jesus. Like, they'll they'll leave the person and walk away from the church and the doom or the lady at the same time. And so I'm not sure this is always true that direction. Marriage brings glory to god, so it's no wonder Satan would want to sabotage it. Spiritual warfare is something to consider if you struggle in your relationship with others. Does Satan whisper in your air frequently telling you to give in to temptation?

Satan cannot make you do anything. Rather than try to overpower us, he works in more subtle ways. The devil's desire is to tempt us to sin and then to shame us for sinning. Maybe he tells you it's no big deal to lie to someone or not an issue to start talking to someone who is bad for you. I this is weird. Do you think that maybe your brokenness would say all those things too either way? Yeah. Like, you just being a human being and, like, you are selfish by nature, and so, of course, you're gonna lie, and, of course, you're gonna go for things because you try and take everything into your own power. Well, I mean, you're you're also protectionist by nature. You know? Like, you don't have to feel pain if you can, like so you tell yourself different things. Oh, sure. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So either way, I I would not jump to the Satan is, like, trying to keep me from marrying. Not that there are always bigger fish to fry, but there are bigger fish to fry.

Yeah. Also, it it gives Satan a lot more credit. Right? Not omniscient. Right? Not all knowing. So at the end at the end of the day going, I thwarted this maybe. Possibly, I think I stopped it.

Like, they were gonna be a good godly marriage. I can't see it in the future, but I'm pretty sure I really got in on the ground level of breaking this up. If you see this trend in Christian proposals where they're like, he asks, and then the lady goes, I do. And then just all a sudden, the dude turns around and is like, suck it, Satan. I'm on you. Get me no more. I just yeah. I I wouldn't put a lot of stock into this particular one. Alright. Very interesting one. Now don't get What had just happened? Mike is Mike

says, but wheels move. I I actually just I don't think this is attributed to Satan. I think it's attributed to a broken humanity. You know? But, like, yeah, parts of you were unappealing because you're a turd. Right. Know I'm saying? Like, you're like, Satan is trying to get me to give in temptation. Did you put yourself in a situation where you were gonna give in to temptation? Right? I mean, like, this some of this is on you, and that's okay. But you're also it's on you, but it is through his strength and power if you're willing to take it. Right? If you're willing to ask him for it and submit to it, then you will find that his strength is more than enough. And, like, there'll be times when you when you tend to give that back to him and go, I got this on my own, and then you're gonna find yourself in a little bit of strength sometimes. And that doesn't cover every situation.

But I think, overall, right, like, it's it's a cop out to blame to blame Satan for this. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. And I I you know, I I it makes it sound like it's way more complicated, but it's relatively binary to say in the presence of something that says, hey. You you should probably change your behavior. You either can grab on a hold of it, stick it inside,

your mind, and let it sink you, or you can go, hey. Someone told me that there's something about how I'm behaving that is keeping me from things that I care about. I I'm going to try to change that. You know what? Like, ever since when I was a kid, like, I've this is gonna sound so stupid. I've always wanted to stick my hand inside of a spinning fan. That is stupid. I've always wanted to do it. I get it. I've done it. It's great. K. I totally get it. I've done it on multiple occasions because I couldn't stop it. It was a mess. It is a thing. So Yeah. So at the end of the day, though Ben, you don't know what you're talking about. At the end of the day, I've never done it. I've never You pansy. Do it.

Start with a plastic fan, though. I always thought this isn't worth it. Like, it's just that like, I really wanna know what it feels like to stick my hand in this fan, but I'm not gonna do it. And here's the thing. It's like, I will think back to that example when I've been in situations where things feel like, oh, man. I really wanna do this thing. You know what I'm saying? And I think, remember all those times that you didn't stick your hand in a fan even though you really wanted to? It's possible. Right? You could say no. You could say no. Yeah. Oh, Listen to coach. Except for booba, apparently. There are plenty of situations in which you should say, no. This is not one of them. This is a joy that you're not taking advantage of. The lord gave you a drive. He said, Mike, my son, I'm gonna give you a desire, and I saw that it was good. Yeah. Stick your hand into a fan. He's willing to white towel and have a stick your hand in a Only only plastic and wooden fans, but that's it. Don't I was gonna say, grew up in the seventies. It was a big box metal fan. Okay. I didn't do that. And it was great. And then my brother's three fingers. They call me stubby. Yeah.

What's the matter, sir? Were you in the war? Yeah. Yeah. A war with the blades. War with the blades. Oh, that sounds biblical. Me me and my buddy Graves were in a bandage house. We had a best friend named Ransom. Listen to me. You tell me two brothers named Graves and Ransom aren't doing something in the world. Something Yeah. And it's not good. Oh, it's good. Graves and ransom are not bringing Jesus to people. They're vigilantes for Christ. For

sure. Yeah. They get up every morning and go, let's get in some holy trouble. Holy trouble. Guy with his face on the panties? He's doing that. Look at those spiritual bonfires, graves, and ransom. Okay. Number three. Four

reasons god is keeping you sick on. Number three, you are lowering your standards. Oh, interesting. A bad marriage is infinitely worse than your worst day as a single person. Till death do us part is a very, very long time. Preach preach on, brother.

Man, this is You're not with someone because you've lowered your standard? Yeah. Hold on. Maybe I hear that wrong. Maybe they're gonna bring it back around. There are a ton of people who were sure they needed nothing more than to get married only to quickly realize once married how wrong they were. Instead of taking things slowly, they are quick to jump on anyone that could jump on anyone. Why would they say that? Goodness. Thing. Goodness me. I've apologized. This

is a sensitive topic on the program. Anyway, that gives them attention. They push standards aside and justify the bad relationship. If you want to be rash, impulsive, or move forward without truly knowing who they are, then don't be mad at god when you are married without happiness. That's not the same reason why you're single. This is this is such a poorly worded argument. This has jumped the shark. Make any sense on any level. When you desire relationships so badly, you begin to idolize it. You ruin your chances of having one at all. No. You don't. You just get a bad one. That's what you just okay. We're gonna skip this one. Yeah. I think yeah. Right. You know what's keeping you from being single? God. Yeah. Dating dumb people. Satan is doing it too. Wait. What? Okay. Option two are you.

Option number four, four reasons god is keeping you single. God just so you know, there's a pensive Asian man taken from shutterstock.com, so they you can see it. You can see the demand at the bottom. He's forlorn for sure. He's thinking it over. God doesn't grant every promise.

God doesn't grant every promise? Do he promise you a Yeah. I don't that's weird. You mean grant every petition? Yeah. That would be better. But if it's a promise and he doesn't grant it, then I All promise? Then we're we're in rough spots believing in him. Agreed. Like, that's kind of the whole point of the faith. Pretty rough for Jesus. I have faith that he's a promise keeper. Yeah. This one's a this is a theology turner. This one. Here we go. The Lord promises us peace and joy with him. However, he does not promise us a removal of all desires

every time we ask for something, which we are while we are here on earth. Desiring to be married does not mean you will marry anymore, that desiring to be healthy or believing you will be healthy does not mean you are not going to get healthy. It doesn't hurt, but it doesn't guarantee. What the heck are you I've I've have no idea. What I'm asleep right now. Yeah. Well, I Okay. Is one of the most poorly worded articles I think I've heard us read. Do need to rate these articles? Like, give them five stars or Hold on. Let's see see who Do we have an author? Megan Bailey. Megan, I'm so sorry. Okay. Alright. That you chose this profession. Okay. That one's out. We're gonna do that. Listen to me. It's okay. It's it's not at all, god is not mad at you or something because you're not married. Right.

Now but it it is possible that you are single, for things that are within your control. Not not all of them are, like, to the depths of your personality. But if you're not meeting people, then you're not gonna meet people. If you're not actually showing people that you might be interested in them, it's harder for them to be bold and show that they're going to be interested in you. And so you gotta take some chances, take some risk. You gotta be among folks to find folks. And so those might be my encouragements. It's it's possible God has a specific thing in your life. I I I'm not sure that's a normative pattern. And but here's the thing. If you knew it,

then you probably wouldn't be stressing over this question a lot. You'll be like, I I kinda wish, but this is what god has for me, and that's like mother Theresa wasn't fighting it because she's like, I this is the thing. Yeah. If you are overall doing the things. Right? Like, you're taking care of yourself. You are submitting to god's characteristic of what a spouse would be. Like, you're in a place where you can be in a loving relationship and give for all those things. Right? And it's just not happening. Like, father is a loving father who likes to give good gifts. Right? So, like, that I would trust him with. Yeah. Right? But, like, I I think it's the shortsightedness that goes, it's nothing I'm doing. It's either as a result of Satan,

Satan's interference in my ways, or me lowering my standards, which should have stayed high. Like, none of that article said, here's anything about you that you can improve to make yourself more palatable to living a whole life with somebody. Yeah. You know? And and, like, even people who get for freshly married, you're not you still don't know. You have zero idea what this is gonna look like for you. You are poorly attuned to living with with someone for the rest of your life when it first starts. Yeah. And that's just true. You know? Four years in, I'm still learning Yeah. So much every day. Seriously. And so, like, I I I think the the biggest problem like, the overall approach to the article is one is, one, it's always somebody else's fault. It's either spiritual influence. Yeah. It's either God withholding something.

It's either God saying, I'm not gonna fulfill this for you for a special reason. Either way, all you have to do is look outside of yourself and go, there's something else that's causing this. It's definitely not me. When the truth matter, most problems are you. That is just you. Right? Like, it's either it's either a thing that you're not doing, a thing that you're being unfaithful in, know, a thing that you're not submitting to, and and, like, a oh, you're not making yourself available to even be around old other people. You don't wanna be vulnerable so you don't get hurt. All the things. Right? And so, like, it's just misleading because you could run off that article for five years and go, I'm still the same guy, and yet nothing. Satan is really coming after me. Or you could have been in 15 bad relationships, and then the opposite is true of the situation where you go, yeah, god keeps putting me in bad relationships. Yeah. This is is I'm just mad at him for that now. I think I think he loves you. That's what I think. And I think that if you will submit to a god that loves you and trust and hope within him, he is not withholding a spouse from you just to hurt your feelings. Yeah. Yeah. And, I mean, it doesn't hurt to to to remind you that, people tend to be attracted to people who are attracted to them. I'm just saying it creates a soft spot for someone. They might not even notice you, but if they feel like you might like them, you just

you become a little bit more attractive. And so feel free to share your feelings. Be bold. Ben seven trips tricks to being more attractive. Yeah. Find them attractive. You did you know that magnets pull together? Yeah. Where's my reverse UNO card? Just telling you. Do you find me attractive? No. What if I told you that I find you attractive? Do you find me I'm selling more attractive? Yes. I do. With a bend.

Categorical intrigue. Now I wanna know. Is this oh, go ahead. No. No. Oh, is this is this author saying the whole entire Catholic church is satanic with all their priests? They did not mention that part. I mean, they're no they don't none of them are married. Yeah. That could have been part of the unsaid things. That was that was number five on the list. You are a Catholic. Yeah. Number five reason why god is probably keeping you single. You're a Catholic. You're a Catholic. You made a vow. Yeah. Just Okay.

Let's see here. This is gonna be just as good. No. Okay. We're gonna skip we're gonna skip one. Discernment. Because it gets it gets around kind of the same thing. Ben. But let's do 10 self destructive thoughts to eliminate to be happier. It took us thirty minutes to get through four, and you wanna go for a tenner? We're gonna burn them. We're gonna move. Here we go. 10 self destructive thoughts. Potential. We're gonna burn them. This could be good. Number one, turn your life around today.

That's self destructing? Oh, this is turned your life around today? K. This, yeah, this claims to be self destructing. Let's see what it says. Your mind is a powerful tool. It can make you, semicolon, or your mind can break you. Weird. It is it

is responsible. Stop coming after me, mind. It is responsible. I own you. For your raw emotions. And without even knowing it, you may have unintentionally, unknowingly become a glutton for punishment. If these behaviors are left unchecked, it can lead to destructive decisions that can keep you from achieving true happiness. But you do have the ability to refrain from indulging in self destructive activities. To get started oh, that wasn't number one. Oh, okay. Because I was trying to figure that out. It was like a subtitle. Yeah. This the top 10 things to stop doing. Here's all of them at number one. Really weird.

Okay. Alright. Things to stop being self self destructive. Here we go. Be self destructive. Number one, self destructive thoughts. Too much pride. Remember, no man is an island unto himself. Welcome the help from others in any shape, manner, or form to thrive. Any? Dis shape. Disagree. Disagree. I am the best. This is very far into welcome any thoughts into this. Like, yeah, don't be fooling yourself, but, like, that doesn't mean that you need to let everything in. No. That was weird. No. We discern our way through these things. Help claims to be like, bad help claims to be good help. Fellas, this is why we don't write articles because our top 10 would just be like, don't be an idiot. Yeah. Stop being dumb. Get out of your own way because you're stupid.

Okay. So But you guys so you guys are saying it's good to be proud. No. Prideful. No. Don't be so prideful, but, like, that doesn't mean let the let every other person's thoughts in. Like, there has to be a level of, like, you can you you don't have to hate yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They they the argument here seems to be don't be prideful. Let all thoughts in of everyone else and allow them to help you in all situations. I know you guys have seen this in a corporate environment. Like, the the current corporate culture thought is to bring in a bunch of people, and they will eventually suss out, like, the best of what the room had to offer. Mhmm. And and, really, what happens is there's two people that should be having a conversation Yeah. And eight other people muddying the waters Oh, yeah. And making it take a really long time. And then, also, by the time the best decision had come out because the two people finally hashed it out, they've also agreed to do four of the things that were unnecessary to appease the other eight that had no business in there. Yeah. You could make a whole job of being the guy that walks into that room and goes, you ate? Leave. You were out of here. Yeah. Yes. So that that's the problem with this advice. Right? Like, a thousand people will offer to claim to help, but their motivations matter. A lot of people wanna help you because they want to be the one that helped you. Or they'll help you in the wrong way. That correct. And so, like but the but the motivation of where that help's coming from does matter. Yeah. Yeah. Right? And so, like, especially as we, you know, look at a a a life following Christ, like, I only take advice from other people that are following Jesus. I only actually tell, like, there are,

you know, three levels of knowing me. The people who follow Jesus know the top shelf level. Mhmm. Right? They know all the stuff about me. They know all the they it's all the questions I ask them. The b level people, I do love them, but they're just things I'm not gonna discuss with them. Right? Because, like, I don't need their input. Not that I don't wanna be their friend. I don't wanna love them, but, like, I just don't want their advice. It's not helpful. Yeah. Yeah. The cost of having a seat at that table and and to have an opinion that I'll listen to is is you gotta show some fruit. Yes. Like, you gotta show good fruit. Yes. We have fealty to to king Jesus, and I only do that because I've seen him work in so many awesome ways. I would be a fool not to. Mhmm. So as long as that as soon as that line's drawn, like, I love you. I appreciate that you love me. Your advice doesn't matter to me. I'm apathetic to it completely. Thanks for being in my life. Yes. I'm not gonna listen to you. I'm not. So the open throat where it says, welcome the help from others in any shape, manner, or form, that's too far.

There is something, though, here about it is self destructive to to not listen to input from anybody else. Right. Agreed. You do not have the market cornered on just about anything. And here's the thing. Even if you were even everything you do was totally righteous and good and the best way to go about it, If other people are not taking it in that same way, like, you still have to modify. Yes. I don't know how like Yeah. You can't be a prideful island. I remember Mike Mike told me this one time because he he threw something I would say back at me. Is, like, we were I think it was was at the church or something, and somebody we weren't getting the responses we expected from some event or something to sign up for. And I'm like, I communicated this thing, like, 10 times in three different ways. Like, people are not responding to it, and I and I'm like, they kinda suck. And he's like, you suck. He

goes, wouldn't you say that, like, regardless of the fact that you've done it 10 times in three places, you're obviously not doing in the right way in the right places? Otherwise, more people would respond. Numerous doesn't mean effective. But And I said, well yeah. Like, and and it's pretty natural to go, like, but I tried very hard, and that may very well be true, but it doesn't make it effective. Yeah. Right. And so if you but either I can blame all the other people for not responding the way I expected, or I go, you know, I obvious maybe I should change myself in something I did. This is the exact question the Democratic Party is asking itself after the election. You know I'm saying? Like, they spent two weeks going, the whole country sucks. And then maybe a couple days went, you know what? It's possible that we're not saying anything they can agree to. We present? Correct. Yeah. And so, like and, like, that happens in major political landscapes about every third, you know, election or whatever, but, like, that's hard to take in where you thought you had the market cornered on being great, and turns out nobody agreed with you. Yeah. Yeah. That's rough. That's rough times. Okay. Alright. Alright. Number two Nine more. Second. Okay. We'll start moving. Second self destructive thought to eliminate

destructive coping mechanisms such as drugs, smoking, and alcohol. I don't know. A good cigarette now and again. Just hearing you say I don't know. Immediately, I was like, what? Uh-huh. Like, this this one was fairly well say stated of, like, hey. Don't give in to drugs and alcohol. And Mike comes in real quick with a, I don't know. That's pretty strong. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, heroin every once in a while. Somebody

having to smoke it. They don't wanna waste it. What if it's thirdhand smoke from the smoke shack? Fine. Yeah. I mean, agree. Stop doing drugs and getting drunk. What do got? Like, 99% agree. Maybe there's a 1% available out there, but probably not. Yeah. But they say nothing about no chewing tobacco. They got that they got that strawberry shortcake vape juice too. Yeah. That's I right. Just like strawberry shortcake. Is that on the list? I wanna chew gum. I wanna chew snus. Come on. I'll chew anything, really. Sometimes I chew the cud with the cows.

Self destructive thoughts to eliminate. Staying in bad these aren't thoughts. Like These are actions. These are just yeah. Okay. Staying in bad relationships, which they've chosen an odd picture of a dude comforting a lady. Like, I don't I'm not sure what's bad about this. Go from that. What an odd thing to show out there. Yeah. Never let a man comfort you. Okay. Alright. I mean, whatever. Yeah. Don't I I guess don't stay in bad relationships. Ridiculous. Here here's 10 things to stop doing. Drugs, being prideful, being in bad relationships.

Yeah. Okay. Alright. I love my bad relationship. Were you expecting opposition here, friend? For frivolous spending, especially when you know you can't afford it, that's what makes it frivolous.

Okay. These are only momentary desires. Get behind me, Satan. Oh, man. But I love my Starbucks. Yeah. I mean, I here's the thing. I I understand that these are sometimes ways in which we just we go we avoid. These are avoidance tactics. I don't wanna have to deal with a thing, and so I'm gonna take a momentary thing to cover it up. But, like,

obviously, like, you you can't continue to behave in these types of ways. It doesn't actually cover it up. It's get to the root of the stuff. Yeah. And at the end of the day, you're gonna start unearthing a bunch of things that are too big for you. And so this these they're Jesuses to carry. And so you're trying to solve what is an eternal or deeper problem with shallower things, and it just won't be effective. Here here's the problem when you have an author submit something for publication and the editor changes the title because it's not matching the article. Yeah. Agreed. One's thoughts when and they're talking about behaviors. Yeah. Right. Which is, like, it took thought to get to the behavior, but that's not talking about changing the thought, just saying change your behavior. It just makes me sad about how much of of these kind of articles are are telling of, like, the way that people take in advice nowadays. Yeah. Because everything has to be a list, and everything has to be, like, a list of things I should or shouldn't do. Tell me what to think rather than, like, an article that I would write in opposition to this is the one way that you should live. And it's just like, yeah, look and smell like Jesus. Yeah. And then that's the end of the publication. I offer nothing else, and then I have a comment section underneath it. Although

It's not very helpful. I know that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I'm just saying, like, 10 things of their self destructive to stop doing. Drugs. Okay. Glad we're on the same page there, friend. Okay. Here's go number five, guilt. Gotta stop it with the guilt. Keep bad memories where they belong in the garbage. I thought you're I thought it literally just said guilt. You left a long pause there. Yeah. And I would not have been surprised if so far it's four things with a ridiculous statement, and the number five is just guilt. Okay. So, like, this one is actually probably legit, and, like, it does speak to the good news. You know what I'm saying? Like Yeah. Sure. If you don't believe that the things that you've done can actually be forgiven

Yeah. And renewed completely as if it never happened, then, like, it's arrogant to drop them. Sure. Know what I'm saying? Like, like, without an arbiter or to have paid for them, then, yeah, that guilt does belong to you, and you should hold it. You know? Yeah. But, like, that goes to sin that you've committed against other people, and it also goes to sin that you've committed against yourself. That, like, if the one who ultimately it is owed to said

the debt is gone, that should speak volume enough for you Yeah. To help process in your brain to drop it. And so, like, guilt is a it's like it's not like an emotion or a response that is unknown to god. Right? God's not like, I had no idea that they would feel away Right. About this. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's a mechanism in which way we were created to, like, help highlight when you have done a thing that you should not have done, you know, or that has weight to it that you thought did not. And so, like, yes, it's there as a as a repentance trigger mechanism. Right. And you should use it as such. Yeah. You can have a broken heart for things you've done. Yes. Absolutely.

Like, broken and contrite heart. Totally. Yes. Bring that, not just sacrifices. But, like, when that leads to a shame cycle of because I hate myself so much and I'm I'm so broken and sinned and lost and all this different stuff, god could never forgive me. All that leads you into is more sin and shame. That is all it does. Whereas god comes in and goes, no. No. No. Like, feel that you should have your heart broken for what breaks mine, which is your sinfulness. However, it's gone. Like, it's done. Allow yourself to feel that. Confess that sin to me. Let me take that from you like I already did. You're not hopeful for something that's gonna happen in the future. You're thankful for something that's already happened, and let's let's move. We've got work to do. Yeah. Agreed.

Okay. Number six, keep on making the same mistakes. Wait a minute. All you had to do was not keep making the same mistakes? My life is a wreck. Why'd you wait till number six to say this? It seems like a golden ticket there, Charlie. I've been going to the great clips for years. Bold cut, baby.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I gotta eliminate that. Stop. Listen. I've had people give me this advice. Hey, man. I I'd really messed up. They're like, you should stop doing that. Yeah. Like, I hear you. I hear what you're saying. Yeah. I obviously came with that already, or I wouldn't have seemed so sad about this situation. Hey. I keep making mistakes. Woo hoo. Number seven,

ten self destructive thoughts to eliminate to be happier. Instant gratification. This is when you only think of the immediate future without considering the long term consequences. This is not true. I tell you what. Every Reese's peanut butter cup I ever purchased. Okay. I thought the same thing about Long John's. Yeah. I'm delighted to that. You could be talking about three things. You could be talking about the type of underwear. You could be talking about the type of doughnut, or you could be talking about Long John Silver's. I could talk about surprised by all three of those. Although

I can be real honest about your life and what you might get get instant gratification from. I believe it could be any of those three things. I'm gonna tell you, though. Like, I used to work construction, and, like, I thought I was gonna work outside all day, and was a dead and winter. So I put on some Long Johns. And then they're like, no, man. We changed it. You're gonna go inside and work in the hospital all day. And, boy, that was the most uncomfortable day. Those Long Johns were way too much. These Long Johns. But I saw, where am I gonna ditch these Long Johns? Like, I'm a have to go into the bathroom and then basically get down to my nothings. And then, like, put I'm like, how do I I'm just gonna keep them on. And it was so uncomfortably hot with these Long Johns on. And I was like, I'm never doing this again. Just the level of crisis you were in because of Long Johns. Did you have chiller for four years? Oh, so bad. I thought I'm doing bibs always. I will always add to my base layer. I will never, like, supplement my base layer. Just imagining your autobiography and you writing the story of the day of the long johns, bitch. After nine's swamp city. Swamp swamp city. The tale of the long johns. Oh, man. Oh, I hated that so much. Okay. Or instant gratification.

I mean, I guess. Yeah. I mean, I get it from the if, like, everything in your life is categorized by instant gratification, sure. Like, if you cannot possibly see past the immediate decision in front of you and only making the ones that are comfortable and immediately gratify you, yes, that is a problem. That doesn't mean that you can't have a Reese's peanut butter cup. This is why I haven't stuck my hand in a fan. You know what I'm saying? It seems like you're missing out there. You are missing out on the instant gratification of stopping a fan blade with your hand. Power. Like, the members of myself. I'll grab them. I thought it would overpower and chop. Now hold on a minute. Hold on minute. Mike, haven't you ever, like, replaced a a ceiling fan and Yeah. To stop it? Yeah. Well, yeah, but I didn't do it when it was running in full bore motor. I clicked it off, and then then I stopped it. No. You stop it. Haven't you yeah. To move this point, have you ever changed it for the seasons? You changed the direction? Yeah. Now why it's running? Why?

It's Yeah. A gratification. You're missing out. The button on my fans is below the blades. No. No. Every time I've ever seen it, it's above. It's up on the tank. You I've lived I've lived in many houses. I may not have worked on setbacks. Ceiling fans. I if there's anyone in this world that knows ceiling fans, it's a. I'm closest to it. I'm using it more often because I've lived in apartments, I don't really care that much about the power bill. Tell you. These are apartment ceiling fans, Mike. Yeah. Yeah. You just Alright. Bam. Flip. Yeah. No. Let go. Yeah. No. It may go.

As you said, as you stop it. Like, it may it may growl at you, but you tamed that beast. Mike, you aren't deterred by a little purr. I just No. No. I've never done it. Stop the fan. No. I gotta shut it down and let it as it's on its spin down, then you stop it if you want. Okay. What's next? Number later in the list is

second guessing yourself. Hold on. This is an exhausting, tiresome, wasteful activity to indulge in. I mean, maybe. No. It's not. If you made a terrible decision, second guess it. Good job having wisdom and discernment. I do this all the time. I am not sure about just about anything I've done all day. I mean, I think there's plenty of space for, like, hey. Have confidence in yourself and make decisions. Like, that's a space that you could live in, but it doesn't like, just flat out stop second guessing yourself. What if you went the wrong way down a one way road, and then you went, oh, crap. I'm going the wrong way down a one way road. Guess second and flip a UE and go the right way. This is You don't just steam ahead into traffic. This is a rightsizing of the way you live your life. Every bad thing that's happened to me has almost always been a result of me not second guessing myself. And so there's no way that past performance doesn't get to play in Right. To current, you know, availability of ideas. Jug on, friend.

I don't know. I I'm married to someone who second guesses everything, and it can be paralyzing. Sure. Yes. And I think that's what they're talking about. Fair. And there's there's definitely space for don't second guess all the situations. Have confidence in yourself. I wanna have toast. Have No. Have enough forethought that you don't have to second guess yourself. Right? But, like, if it's yeah. It it can totally be crippling, and that's that's completely fair. Yeah. Okay. When we go to a restaurant, this kills me. Oh gosh. I'm like, I I love this woman. Said the man with the long johns. I'm just it's just every time we go out to eat, my wife always she's the adventurous type at these restaurants. Yeah. And I'm like, listen. Give me the scampi. If you order something Scampi. Wild, there's literally a fifty fifty shot that you're gonna hate it. Yeah. And then you're like, man, I wasted my money. I

always order the same thing or some kind of dependable dish that I will know that I enjoy, and she refuses. And, like, I don't I can't my mind can't get there. Like, I am not willing to take the risk of a new dish because I don't wanna be disappointed at the end the meal and go, well, that was a waste of money. So I'll always buy the thing. A French dip is pretty solid most places. Yeah. And you can cover it up in a lot of au jus. And even if the au jus goes foul, you can salt that beast up, put some ketchup on there, and you're basically eating a hamburger with sliced meat in it. Yeah. Either way, you know what I'm saying? Like, you can't lose with this set of fries. And, like but my wife would be like, I got the rigatoni a la whatever. So I'm like, this is a risky move. I just you should've just got a hamburger because it's gonna come out right. You know? Yeah. Give me the scampi. That's a like, she doesn't I, like, I would I don't I I never second guess myself in these areas, and she has to do it all the time. She's like, man, maybe I shouldn't have got this whatever peanut butter a la tortellini. I'm like, yeah. You shouldn't have. You should have got the hamburger because it's gonna be right.

I don't I actually have the exact like, I'm I'm more likely to dry something that I've never had before. Yeah. But I'm never mad if it's not good. I just go, well, that's what it tastes like. What a mistake. Totally. I threw away a whole plate of Szechuan chicken recently from a Chinese place. It was gross. Uh-huh. Like, it was nasty. And my wife was like, do you wanna try some of mine? I was like, no. You eat your food. Won't I'll go cook myself something else. And I threw away $14 worth of gross chicken. I was mad. Yeah. Yeah. But I was like, I'm still alright with making this decision. I tried it. You don't know? Now I know. Wait a Now how can this is the thing. It's like, how can you compare restaurant to restaurant if you order a different dish everywhere you go? If you get a hamburger everywhere, then you can be like, that hamburger was very delicious. I'm just imagining you starting a blog that says chicken tenders across America.

Hence, it's you going to every chain restaurant that you can find, Chili's chicken tenders. About two points below Applebee's. Right. Okay. Dave Portnoy of the chicken tender world. Freaking ridiculous. Entry, Olive Garden. No chicken tenders. No chicken tenders. They suck. Lift immediately. Yeah. Took two minutes on my way out. We actually

we didn't follow through, but we made a goal one year to to try all these chicken strip around the area because what like, they're all made differently. Like, some are are Yeah. Totally. Some place had it as, like, in Captain Crunch is there. Uh-huh. And we're, anyway, he was we were reading all the different things. Like, we gotta try it because they're very different. Yeah. But, I mean, your typical, you know, chip yeah. I have a book called Hamburger America by a guy named George Motz that's literally just like he tried hamburgers all across the country. He gets All this good stuff. And every time I go out of town, like, I take that book with me, and I go to the restaurants that I'm driving past, and it's awesome. And it's really cool. But that's not what you're talking about. That is what I'm talking about. George Motes Burger was a bit of a burger. He started a hamburger shack, like, in Downtown New York. Like, it the it's a cool deal. That's not your situation. It is. How could I tell if the the Hardee's does just as good of a job as the Arby's if I don't always get the hamburger chicken tender? I order a hamburger at the Chinese restaurant. I don't get the Chinese do. You walk in and be like, I'm sorry. Do you have a hamburger? I it from the Mexican restaurant. Everybody else is ordering all kinds of stuff. I'm like, yes. I'd like the carne torta. I'd have the kids hamburger, please. This feels like you would bring your own premade peanut butter and sandwiches and go, hey. Will you bring this out for me? No. Don't trust that you don't I wanna know how they cook the peanut butter and jelly. That's the thing. It's like you gotta compare apples to apples. It's not how restaurants work at all. Here's the deal. Don't make a don't make a life out of second guessing yourself, but, I mean, a little bit of, hey. Are Are you down the right road, or should I really eat a hamburger from this Mexican joint? Yeah. Different plan. Evaluate your decisions, but don't second guess yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you what I'll tell you what, Dan. I just between you and me, we're not talking to boob anymore. I got one of those at my place too. You weren't even mentioned. And and she says things like,

hey. Help me make this decision, which is only a springboard to for her to choose the opposite of what I said. Right. Because there's no confidence just because I said it and said it quickly. And she goes, why didn't you think about it longer? I said, it's a very easy decision. This is decision. Well, like, I don't think you thought about it long enough, so the opposite must be right. You know, it's terrible. When it comes to restaurants, I I heard one time that if you're on a date and you've got somebody that you're going with that, like, only eats the same thing every single time and you're the more adventurous eater, you can help them by ordering the thing that they always order. Mhmm. And then they can then be adventurous and order something that they don't didn't normally order so that they can go back to their safe space if they didn't like it. No. And I did that one time Yeah. At the Cheesecake Factory Uh-huh. Which I don't know if you know the notorious deal with the Cheesecake Factory. They have 817 menu items, first and foremost. Yes. Second off, I I ran into this, and I the safety pick of this person was the chicken teriyaki. Mhmm. And so I got that, and then they ordered something else, and their adventurous order was probably just like the orange chicken, and it was crazy. And then she didn't like it. But I sat there with this chicken teriyaki, and and what I had not found out was that the chicken teriyaki had bones in it. Oh. And so I ate a big old piece of this chicken teriyaki and then had a chicken bone in my mouth, and I had to figure out how to spit it out into a napkin. But I was young enough, and it was very seldom that I ever, like, enticed a woman to go on a date with me. Yeah. So I ate a chicken bone because

I could not figure out to spit this thing out with some some class yet. Like, very, very like, nineteen year old booba. I had no idea how to be on a date Uh-huh. And I had no idea how to have class. Oh. So my my classy my classy nature ate a whole chicken bone that I just was like, this is this is good living. It's not pertinent to this conversation other than picky eaters. So there you go. Actually, what I thought of when you were saying that was if my wife ordered a hamburger to put me in my safe space, there'd be two people ordering hamburgers. Like, you ain't gonna bully me around. I'll the hamburger anyway.

I'll get the hamburger and then you get something else. Guess what? Dose hamburgers. Well, I've had it happen many times is I'll order something different, and and my lovely bride will order her normal thing, and then she'll take a bite of mine and goes she'll go, I like yours better. So she'll end up eating my fun thing because then she's really bored with her meal, I'll eat her boring meal. And Yeah. This happened way too many times. I was gonna say this sounds like happiness and marriage, Dan. Yeah. Yeah. You do you do what you gotta do. I took the opposite advice. I defensively order mushrooms on things to keep my wife away from it. Can I get extra shiitake on that, please? I say I sure did, Rudy. Listen here. This is a free country, and this is all coming out of my wallet. And you can order absolutely anything you want. You can order two things for all I care. Right. Yes. But I'm gonna put mushrooms on this thing, so you stay awake. This is mine. This is in my area. There's These are waffles, sir. Mushrooms.

My wife and I start off if we're doing an adventurous eating date thing, we start off with, like, either we're gonna eat our own food or we're gonna share. Like, we have to set that expectation at the beginning. Like, hey. Let's go to get a couple things we can share off everything, or I got my food. You got your food. Stay away. Has that been violated? No. You kept to it. No. We've kept to it, but I will tell you the the moment I realized that I love my wife was when I ordered for the first time when I lived out East, they don't have Culver's. Yeah. So we came back to the Midwest. I got a a triple butter burger with bacon. Yeah. And I was really excited about it. This woman, as I'm eating this bacon cheeseburger that I hadn't had in years, reaches over and grabs a piece of bacon out of the sandwich and just snakes it out. Oh. And then she had not mentioned that she was going for this. Uh-huh. She wasn't like, hey, baby. That bacon looks good. Can I have a bite? She just went, and then snaked it, and then ate the piece of bacon. Uh-huh. And when I tell you that, like, the previous twenty seven years of my life came rushing into me of, like, you are a man, and you will not stand for this. This is not how this world works. That was your bacon. And then I went, I got a choice to make. I gotta choose marriage

or this is a move of world. I get my bacon. And I just looked at her. I was like, did you enjoy that? And she goes, yeah. It was great. And I was like, I'm so happy that you enjoyed. And then I slapped her hand. And I said, never again. I went, no. And she loves that story. She was like, I knew he loved me then. I was like, were you testing me? Was that what that was? Ridiculous.

My heart grew four sizes that day. Yeah. I I was no longer the bacon Grinch after that day. Okay. There were two more. One, being too critical of yourself. Yeah. I yeah. That's not worth it, man. Like, I I tell you what. I swear. Not only people are too critical of themselves, but they cannot be talked out of it. Yeah. Just listen to me. Sometimes you don't take yourself in right. Totally. I I just I guess it's very frustrating because it's all it's like it's willful. It it it masquerades as humility. Mhmm. It's not.

It's a and It's self deprecation. Yeah. And I get there's a protection in it. I I I kind of understand that. There's like a, hey. I don't wanna seem like I'm inflating myself. Fierce. But, like, it's the same problem whether you inflate yourself or, like, wrongly or deflate yourself wrongly. Like, let's just let's just deal Deal it. With what we have. Right. And, like, I I get this from one one of my one of my daughters, like, about not using the mirror. She's like, I can't you don't look in I don't look in the mirror. I get up. I just walk out. Like, I don't I do not use the mirror for any reason. I haven't found a need. Because here's the thing. Like, it is what it is. I literally just had this conversation with my wife with my wife yesterday. Yeah. Like, what do I what am I gonna do? Primp it up? Like,

I gotta deal with what I got flat out. I'm not I'm a real I'm a really normal looking fella, like, straight in the middle looking guy. Wow. And it is what it is. And so, like, I just I but I'm not I don't avoid the mirrors like, oh, I can't take it in. I can take it in, but I don't go, oh, I gotta take it in twice. I don't know how to do that either. Do a double take on that, friend. It just is. And so, like, it doesn't mean anything to me. But I but if I got a boogie out to nose, might as well reckon with it. Someone should say, hey, man. Your eyebrows are connected. You got a boogie hanging out. Like, these are all things that I might as well know. I just I just don't I I don't see any separating any emotion may you may have from it, and I think you should. Like,

what are we doing? Why are we trying to chase this false sense of either less than or greater than? Like, you are what you are. Let's take it in, and let's work with it. I refuse to look at light bouncing back at my face of my face. This is ridiculous, man. I don't I don't I've never found it. What am I gonna do in it? Here's here's what you should do. This is how it came up yesterday is I like to pick my nose hairs when I drive. Yeah. Because I don't look in the mirror at the house, and I don't realize how unruly they've gotten. But I always look in the rearview mirror of the car. And so I'll see them flow in the breeze. I'm like, man, those gotta go. You'll pick them up. And then I'm picking my nose hairs, like, pulling them out. And Norman's like, don't be pulling your nose hairs out in this car. I'm like, why? This is when I do it.

Oh, yeah. What are you doing? Like like, literally, the fact that both of you are normalizing this behavior, like, yeah. This is the kind of thing that I'm gonna give advice about. I'm gonna say this out to the world on a podcast and say how great it is to live this way. You two are ridiculous. Are late for that. You are ridiculous. I was on a One of you was like, I can't do anything about it, so I don't look in the mirror ever. And the other one's like, I hate looking in the mirror. And so when I am looking in the mirror while I'm driving is when I go, better go excavating,

friends. We got some mowing to do. Yeah. Like, what's wrong with the two of you? Yeah. Act normal. This is insane. Any drive more than twenty five minutes is harvest. I hate that. I hate that so much. Hey, woman. Put on international harvester. I'm a son of third generation farmer. It's one of my favorite songs ever. Anyway okay.

I gotta get the licensing from that from Craig Borken now. Finally, choosing the wrong friends. You know who they are. Two of them are in this room. I get it. I was away from this for nine, but I made it my way back in on Tampa. Because your nose looks like Woodstock doesn't mean you gotta come after me. My nose looks like Woodstock. Do you mean the bird? No. Or do you mean, like, it's in the event that happened in 1969? Yeah. The long flowing hippiness of it.

Don't take the brown acid off my nose. Is that what you're saying? It's disgusting. Alright. You're listening to live from the path. I don't if you have any additional thoughts Oh, the country. What are you? About 10 things you shouldn't don't wanna hear about it. I if you have any reaction to this article, you just keep it yourself. I don't we don't wanna talk about it anymore. You're listening to life from the path. Alright. We're gonna see if we can deal with this quickly. Is it okay to to to not like Solomon?

Why why do you potentially not like Solomon? I okay. So what's what's happened is is I haven't recently read first Kings. Yes. And so I had this not deified by any means, but, like, this real perspective or, like, stuck on the wisdom of Solomon and the splendor of Solomon and the the glory of Solomon, like, all this different stuff. And I've I got stuck in the thought of how cool was it that, like, given the opportunity to, like, go to God in a dream and ask for something, I thought it was awesome that he goes like, Yeah, like give me wisdom, not strength or power or,

you know, money, just allow me to govern your people. And what an awesome thing to do right after he becomes king. Like, this is an awesome situation. And then almost immediately, when you actually read the story that's happened in first Kings, freaking like Solomon then goes like, hey, we're gonna build God a temple. It's gonna be awesome, but you should check out my house. It's gonna be real nice. Like, it's gonna be awesome. And then immediately goes into like and then he allowed his wives to come in and, like, build more temples for other gods right outside of Jerusalem

on the hill to the west. It's like, come on, man. Like, and then it just goes rough for a long time. I I literally I just feel like I skipped past all of those parts and only remembered the man that was really cool that he he asked for wisdom and Solomon the wise and what we get from him from Proverbs and Psalms. It's great. No. What? This dude sucked. Yeah. Well, he I mean, he is referenced throughout scripture

as, like like, having the wisdom of Solomon. Right. Yeah. Like, he pulled out this one thing that god specifically gave him Mhmm. And said this was the best thing to know about him. And then everything else about him was poor, and he set up astral poles, and he did not raise a kid that was going to follow Yahweh. And, like, yeah, like, he he yeah. He's not anybody to look up to. Right. And, like, his dedication to the temple was really awesome. Like, a lot of great prayers that he's he's bringing up, like, reflect some some earlier great pairs players prayers, excuse me, that were said about the kingdom of Israel. Like, there was good things, but it's just like, holy cats, man. Like, I don't know why the real thing I'm running into is how often I remember just a fraction of a story. And and then I get a real big thought in my head about how I'm supposed to live my life, and then I go back and I read the thing again. I'm like, oh, crap. Yeah. I've been doing this wrong the whole time. Yeah. Solomon yeah. He's no good. He's he's yeah. Well but the thing is is most of the old testament is that way. Right? Like like, even all the examples we think of, and you're like, man, I mean, they have such glaring

they're not good archetypes. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, they're they're and and they're written that way, like, to show the the work that god does through them. Sure. That we, you know, that we can pull out. But, like, yeah, Solomon as a whole like, even with all the evidence that he had of who god was, like, yeah, it wasn't it wasn't enough for him to keep it on the straight and narrow. You know? Right. Yeah. Okay. So it's okay to is it okay to go besides the fact that we're we're like, we he has referenced his wise. Jay, I think it's kinda like thinking about David after god's own heart. Yeah. Right. It doesn't imply that every action David took, god is okay with. No. Yeah. And Solomon was not I mean, obviously, he married hundreds of ladies, and so this this is not wisdom. Yeah. Built a house for pharaoh's daughter at the same time as building house for the lord. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I I think it's alright to be like, yeah. I don't care for that. Yeah. I I taking the step back and, like, answering the the simple question. Yes. But, like, also, read your bible. Read your bible closely. Like, it it's super easy to grab ahold of, like, the patriarchs and a lot of the big big name stories and then forget some of the really rough things. And it's important for the context of, like, how good God is and what he did through rough people over and over and over again to create a family that brought glory and his name to all the generations and nations of the earth. Like, it's important to read all that stuff. Do not read your bible too fast. Mhmm. I I was

kinda skimming through Hebrews 11. I thought he doesn't really show up there. I was like, well, they're he's called a hero there, but but he really isn't. You know? But, yeah, you know, these are human beings, fallible human beings. Totally is. So, as we you know, y'all said, it's like every character you look at had human flaw Mhmm. And as do we. Right. But there's some things we can learn from them. But but, yeah, we we tend to glorify. We tend to have this Hollywood romantic version of all the the bible heroes, you know, Moses and Abraham. The Sunday school lessons that everything's great, and what you know, you you don't we don't get the the nitty gritty stuff. Yeah. And and till you get become an adult and you read the story, you go, ah. Yes. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Exactly. I got the children's bible version of Noah, and then I'm like, oh, crap. Some rough stuff happened with Noah and then Jonah. And, like, it didn't end with Jonah and the whale. Right. It didn't go, and then Jonah lived a great life and did wonderful things for the lord. I mean, I I remember, like, just the first time I really looked into, you know, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, the 12. It's like, that's major dysfunction in those first four generations. Like, major dis dysfunction. I'm like, oh, I thought that was, like, the perfect family and the messiah came from. You know? And I want your breasts like that. Don't wanna be like them at all. Yeah.

Yeah. Every one of the patriarchs, hey. What do you think about your wife? Which one? Yeah. Which one are you talking about? Oh, that's my wife. That's my sister. Yeah. And I don't let my sister deer my food. I order mushrooms. Slap. No.

No. No. Okay. I think I think we we spend too much time on bad articles, so we're gonna have to pick up Romans 12. Yeah. Is it next week? 13. So, Mike, we got advice on dear life from the path. Dear life from the path, My mother-in-law has a habit that makes me sick to my stomach. Oh, dear. When we are out to dinner with her, she frequently asks, can I have a taste of that? And then without waiting for a response, she'll stick her fork or spoon into my food and take a piece of it. This is your mother-in-law?

It nauseates me when I try to eat the rest of the serving. I don't know how to deal with this. She's very sensitive and easily offended, and I've always had the feeling she doesn't like me and doesn't think I'm good enough for her son. Wait. Who's sensitive? The mother-in-law. I think it's the author. Dan, the article will speak for itself. Despite Dan's pleas, I have asked my husband to nicely ask his mother to stop doing this, but he refuses because he doesn't want to insult his mother. What? When I told him it makes me sick to my stomach, he asked if I ever actually gotten sick from eating food or used utensils I've touched, and I had to admit that I have not.

So he said, then where's the harm? It still bothers me. What can I do? I mean, unfortunately, I would have done what you did and ask your husband. It's ridiculous that your husband was like, I'm not gonna offend my mom. I can't if if my mother was eating the food of my wife, even though she has, like, told me that she didn't want it to happen, I will have that conversation with my mother. Ah, come on. That's an endearing thing. She's not being I mean, it's just she's taking a bite. Yeah. Man, taste it. But the flip side could be, oh, come on. She just doesn't want you to eat her food. I mean, I

like, on both sides of that, that hurts. I think it depend okay. So I think when there's a recognition that different people do react to this differently. So of my four children, there's one specifically

who will not drink or eat or anything after anybody else. Yeah. She'll take like, if we got something that the family's gonna try, like a drink or something to try in the car, she'll take a drink and then not touch it again. And so nobody else in the family particularly cares. And so, like, knowing that, unless you're trying to intentionally antagonize her, you wouldn't you wouldn't go about doing that. And so I think it is there is a bit of a lack of sensitivity. Like, it does bother some people in in ways that may not bother you. If if the mother-in-law is easily offended, I feel like you just it will take very little effort to go ahead and offend her and tell her to stop on it, like, knock it off. Yeah.

So you think you should use this sensitivity and easily insultedness to your advantage? Yeah. Oh, that was a rough way of putting it. No. No. I I he tried to bait the hook, and I took it. Like You showed attraction. He was like, I find you more attractive. It's not it is not a virtue to be overly sensitive.

Okay. So she spies over with this with this spork of hers, and you go, woe there, Hagrid. Woe there, Hagrid. Yes.

Yes. Insult your mother. I would say, look. You grossed me out. Don't take don't like, it let me cut you some off or something. Like, I think that's fine. What if you just said COVID a couple times? COVID. From

the From the back. I got a I got a plenty of good ideas to help with this problem. Hey. Anyway, I'm not saying I don't have tuberculosis. I mean, it's a at that. It's also weird that she, like, asks and then doesn't wait for the answer. I wonder how true that is actually based off the the the person saying it. But to be fair, you said that, she doesn't really like you anyway. I mean, I I'm not really sure where the deficit is. I'm not saying the person that's saying to her mother-in-law, don't eat my food, is a sane human being that makes great decisions all across the board. Like, she sounds very sensitive of her own self. There's probably a lot more to this relationship that she's not talking about. She's just letting us know about the very specific scenario in which she doesn't like Yeah. Their food is being taken. So so I think there's, like, there's a recognition of the uniqueness of people in two different places. So if you're the person who does not like the mother trying some of your food, just recognize that might be unique to you. It's not crazy that someone wanted to try your food out. Yeah. Right. I think to Dan's point. Like, I you you know, if How she grew up is important with that. They maybe that's the way that she's always eaten at the table with everyone around her. Yeah. So don't overreact and act like this woman is some sort of, like, base debased scavenger.

My mother-in-law has herpes. Yeah. And then she always tries to eat off my plate, and it makes me uncomfortable. Why? Why? I take a weird it. How dare the two of you tell me that I took a weird turn? No, sir. Nose hair picking is not the same thing as the herp. Nothing.

I mean, I do the herp made it weirder too. My mother has herpally herpolice, and do not like that at all. Anyway book did get great. Anyway. Herpolice.

Okay. Yeah. Wasn't that a Greek hero? Fine. Sidebar question. Oh, I'm sure. Oh, no. Okay. Now I repent of what I've done. I repent of what I've done because I did this. Okay. Hold on. Sidebar question. First of if you ordered a hamburger, she can't come over to fork and steal it. You know, so she'd have to take pull it off your plate and two hand it. That's true. I think that's way more difficult. Defensive ordering.

I only want handheld, sir. Yeah. Hamburger and fries. And they go, but, sir, you get two sides. You're like, double fries. Oh, you can steal fries. That's I was gonna say. You can have one of my fries. You can take fries because it doesn't involve a utensil. It should be easy. Stop eating pasta that's one homogenous serving of all the same thing that's touched itself. Soups. Yeah. True. Okay. Yeah. Soups gross. I don't know if I would share soup with somebody. Like, something about a casserole makes me think that, like or a noodle dish. It just touches just the food. But, like, when you put up, like, a spoon that's bit in your face into someone else's cesspool of a bowl, then it's just it's just migrating

throughout the bowl. That's true. Then it's a bacteria slew, and then this the whole thing is gross. Yeah. I don't think you could share soup. It's like, Jason, why does your wife only order Cheez Its nowadays? It's very confusing. It's like bathing in the same water. Yeah. Yeah. Don't throw the baby out with the tomato bisque. So long story short, first of all, Dan finds this behavior endearing. This old woman that types food off people's plates. Don't do that to a stranger generally.

So you're saying it's a a compliment? No. It's someone that you're comfortable with. You're you're Someone's comfortable stealing food from you. I don't know if you're apparently, she's not comfortable with it at all. So maybe she really does like her a lot. Yeah. She's showing how much she loves her vibe, constantly eating her food. This feels like the equivalent of an uninvited back rub. Who? A Biden. Yeah. That's right. You got Biden. You smelled my hair.

How you like that, Dan? Is that your favorite now, isn't it? I've changed my mind. My mother-in-law keeps bidening me. I got Joe Biden by my mother-in-law. I don't know what to do.

You're laughing the past. I keep getting biting by my mother-in-law. It's so bad. What do I do? Okay. So the advice is I think you should mention it, but I also think, like, you should take a don't be so easily offended. Maybe order defensively if it really amps you up. Why don't you cut it off right when you get it? You don't be really know what's gonna happen. You should you should bring a binder with you, like like a school binder with you and set it up like a like a fence around your your food. Yeah. So that Like battleship. Yeah. Eunice can't even see what you get. Like, whisper what you ordered, and then set up a battleship situation where she can't figure out what you've ordered and can't get to it. Start playing defense. Smack the spoon. Yeah. It'll look like yeah. The conversation will come up. No.

Should go. Can I have a bite of that? No. No. No. Fine. Be get better at food defense. Yeah. Okay. What you doing over there, Harold? Protect strategic defense against you. B six, miss. So far, it here's the thing. So far, it appears you've tried nothing. That's telling your husband. Yeah. And and your lump of a husband is not gonna help you in this area. So I like, I think between Dan and I, we've come up with some good plans apart from the battleship binder. Like, take off a get, like, fresh silverware for everybody. Right? Yeah. Take a big old slop of it and throw it on her plate and go, here you go. You wanna try some of this?

And then nobody's you know what I'm saying? He calls on her. That no. The portion beforehand. Yeah. Do it. And then her fork's not sneaking into your area. Make it a game. You have you have the little app plates, and everybody take a little piece off, and everybody gets their own little plate of everybody's food. I really like this binder idea, though. To be honest about it, like, I don't I don't stand ground Yeah. Too often on these dear life in the past, but I am I'm putting my foot down. Even better if the if the cover image on the binder was the food you have. Little barbed wire on top. Trying to break down my defenses. Put some thought into this. Getting through this wall. Or a completely different food. Why does it always look like you have beef stroganoff? All mushrooms. Don't ask me questions.

I'm comparing restaurants. I get the stroganoff wherever I go. Okay. Here we go. So the question was, what can I do? Segular says, whether your mother-in-law thinks you aren't good enough for her precious son is irrelevant. Because tolerating her rudeness hasn't endeared you to her, you might as well start standing up for yourself. Next time she asks for a taste of that, smile, grab your plate, cut her off a piece, and then hand it to her. Oh, that ended differently than I thought it was going to? Yeah. Yeah. It really did. Okay. Alright. You got time for one more? Yeah. One more.

Okay. Here we go. Dear Nope. That's not wrong. That's not right. Talk to me. Dear life from the path. What was that, Phyllis? I heard that. My stepdaughter, Annie, gave my husband a photo album of his life for his eightieth birthday. The album included pictures of his parents and grandparents as well as photos from his first marriage to Annie's mom. She included one picture of their wedding and two more of them posing as a loving couple. She included a few pictures of me even though her dad and I have been married for more than forty of his eighty years. A photograph from our wedding was not included.

I love Annie. We get along well, and I am very hurt that she included these two pictures of the loving couple. I feel it was inappropriate for an album she expects to be displayed in our home for family, friends, and neighbors to see. I would like to ask her to reprint the album without these two pictures. Am I being unreasonable? Yes. Yes. Yes. That's that's her mom. Done. But I get it. Dan I get it. She she could have been more thoughtful. She's gonna be 60 years old. Why is she using words like stepdaughter and I mean, it's like, dad's 80. Right? So she's probably 80. So the child child, quote, unquote, is 60. I mean, that's just dumb. I mean, you haven't

call you haven't called this woman mother yet ever in in all these decades that you've known her? I don't know. Do you I mean, like, I suppose she's been married to him for forty years. It means they got married when they were 40. I mean, like, the kid was grown up Yeah. Before this point. That's a good point. Yeah. It wouldn't count. That's what I would say. Yeah. And so, like Annie was potentially 40. Yeah. Yeah. So So it's her life with her dad. So okay. I mean, I changed my mind. You win. Pictures of the

the new couple new couple in there. Not their wedding. Yeah. Not their wedding. Yeah. So it's got pictures of stepmom in there, just not their wedding. It's just a little selfish on her side. Yeah. Like There is plenty of things she could have included. Yeah. Or his, yeah, his gift. This should have included It's probably longest wedding of marriage. Her perspective. Sure. Yeah. This is my dad. Yes. And my mom. Yeah. So it's gonna be flavored probably that way. Yeah. It wouldn't have hurt, though, to add the other wedding. Should you have her reprint it? No. Like, I get it. Yeah. You were hurt by the thing. I can understand. But you can also put yourself in Annie's position. You could tastefully approach the situation and just be like, hey. Is there something about us that, like, you're upset about? But probably not because you're 80, and Annie's potentially 40 to 60. There's a good chance okay. Oh, just you might not this could be displayed in your home. Yeah. Okay.

Put it in a corner. Probably all of their friends current friends don't even know he they were married before, so it could be that's, like, awkward. Like, I've been with him for forty years, and, oh, yeah, there was this other gal. I mean, maybe. Don't display it on the mantle. Yeah. Yeah. That's not part of the deal. Right? He could just put it in a drawer somewhere. Sure. We print off albums every year for stuff. I don't ever go through people's photo album. No. This is they down and say, come and look. Yeah. Yeah. People put it out for a year, and then after year eighty one of your life, put it away, and then move on. You didn't actually say if the dad, like, really loves it or was Yeah. I bet he does. I mean, maybe. It'd be awkward to celebrate your first marriage in front of your second wife, I think, a little bit.

Maybe it would like Annie's mom's dead. Possibly. Maybe. Yeah. That's actually a very important thing for me. If Annie's mom and dad got divorced and then is married to a new woman and now she puts in this album that glorifies her mother and then barely mentions her new stepmom. It's a little bit different than if mom died and then dad remarried.

Admittedly, I care about that, and I don't know, so I can't get the answer to that. But. Here's the deal. Dad dad is gonna have dementia soon, and he's only gonna remember the first wife. So maybe that's okay. Yeah. Make a second album. Yeah. Make an album that you wish it looked like. Put two albums. Seems really silly. It's if if it was targeted for the daughter and these are memories of which means something to the daughter, then you have you did it's not your business. What's a gift to the dad? Yeah. It's a gift from the daughter to the dad. Oh. So daughter gave to dad an album about his life, and new wife is saying, oh, it seems like you're celebrating his life and not very much of me in it even though I've been in it for 50% of it. Yeah. Okay. It's heavy. Yeah. Like, I can totally understand why you're hurt,

but I I I don't know if we need to go as far as to go now, Annie, I would like for you to reprint this album and do the work again and add or she didn't even say add me. She said take the two photos out, if I remember correctly. Yes. So, like, take the two wedding photos of your mother and father's wedding out. Yeah. I don't I I don't think you wanna do that. Like, I think that it will have consequences that will really make the rest of your relationship very awkward. Yeah. I just the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

It's okay. I'm I'm now I'm going through it from my perspective. I did this for my dad Mhmm. Who was married to someone who was not my mother for twenty three years, whatever, twenty some years. He was married to my mom for twenty eight years, actually longer. Sure. But but still, I would have only probably included his current living I mean, situation. Like Okay. He he was not with my mom anymore. Sure. So for whatever reason, I don't even you know, it wasn't for me to know. That's just

he moved on. So why would I bring that back even though that was you know? I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I suppose unless it was like a like like you said, like, she had passed or something like different. Yeah. Like, it was a happy time, and it was just it ended because of that. Yeah. I imagine. And Yeah. First wife passed away, and he got remarried. Yeah. So that that would be fair then. Yeah. Like, my dad passed away. Why would you be threatened? Right. Yes. My if it was a death. I think it was a divorce. Yeah. My dad passed away, and my mom was going to be remarried. Yeah. Like, we we looked at, like, if if my parents or if my mom was still around, I very much would have included my dad in something like this. Yeah. I probably would have been a little bit more thoughtful to include Pat if I'm being honest about it. Yeah. By the way, that's someone you're currently with. Sure. But I don't know if I would as go to go as far as thinking, oh, it's gonna break her heart if I didn't include their wedding.

So I can totally understand why it was a miss, but it may have been malicious. I just don't know. But regardless, don't I know if I would go back to Annie and go, need you to reprint these and take out the two photos of his first marriage. Yeah. Alright. Secular says, the question was, am I being unreasonable? Secular says, because you have a good relationship with Annie, explain to her that you felt slighted when you saw the album and why. Explain that you would like to be able to prominently display it if she would please either have it reprinted with the addition of a couple of photos of you and your husband together or with only the wedding picture of her parents. This shouldn't be difficult to do. Anyway It's not true. This is a freaking pain in the butt to make. But you could just put a couple eight by tens of your wedding Totally. On either side of ways to reconcile this that doesn't have to be a situation where it's awkward. That book's not the be all end all representation of your family. Yeah. It's not going to be displayed at dad's funeral. He's still alive right now. Like Yeah. Yeah. There's plenty of ways around this. Okay. You're listening live from the Path. Thanks for hanging out with us on this lovely evening. If you have any feedback on the show, please hit us up on the live from the path path. Bob Eisenhower complaint line, (515) 517-0085.

Call or text (515) 517-0085. We'd love to hear from you. And that I think any other feedback in addition to what you might have named your kid if you could've gotten away with it. So we'd love to hear from you. I don't know. We'll probably be back in the studio next week. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to live from the path. That's gonna be stuck in my head for the next week. Haven't heard that song since the last time I watched Forrest Gump or whatever.