Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston Proper. You are live And you're listening live the Path coming from the Pathway Studios here in Johnston Proper. It's beautiful to be with you on this fine evening. I hope you enjoyed something delicious from the gas station. I will suggest the Reese's folks have come out with the

peanut butter and jelly Reese's peanut butter cup. What? What? Yeah. They've got a great version and a strawberry version and yeah. I mean, nine out of 10. Is it at is it available at Quickstar? You know, I didn't see it there. I got mine at a Hy Vee fast and fresh, and it was alright. Anyway, I I mean, I FOMO, you you'd gotta try it. Like, you gotta go I don't understand how this has not happened up to this point. It's crazy. You think about it. Yeah. Makes sense. It's it's wild this has not occurred. Whichever guy that thought, hey, man. I'm gonna put this stuff right by the counter

so they'll look at it on the way out. The impulse buys or whatever. Yeah. Like, he had me in mind. Oh, totally. We put anything within three feet of the counter. I'm like, oh, what's that? Even gross stuff. I'm like, I gotta try that. I'll give that a shot for sure. Okay. Here's what we got going on the show this evening. So the the pope pope Francis died

today. What was his full popery name? It's just pope Francis. What? He wasn't like pope Francis Paul. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe not. Yeah. I can tell you. I don't keep that close of an eye, I guess. So, you know, this is slightly on the peripheral, but I was looking at my Google Calendar yesterday and

of the prebuilt holidays that Google provides, Easter Monday was one of them. I'm like, why where is this coming from? Yeah. And so I clicked on it. I thought, well, maybe there's more cultural information available to me. As a Christian, I feel like I should know, but as a and as a pastor, I'd be embarrassed that I can't explain this Easter Monday business. Right? So I looked at it, and it did not tell me anything else. Have you guys heard of this? People refer to it as Easter Monday? Because they were talking some a Catholic priest guy was talking on the news about the pope, and I'm trying to think of what he said because it made sense at the time. Thought, oh, okay. It's like, yeah. Easter's over, and it's done, and we're still here. So so you gave that a name? Yeah. Easter Monday. Yeah. Like Does that make it tomorrow Easter Tuesday? I guess. Like, under that premise, like, it's Easter every day because we just got past the Easter. Yeah. Who's still going? Okay. It it yeah. It is pope Francis was his name. His full name though was Georges Mario Bergoglio, which I I mean, to be honest It's

He's not French. Jorge. Jorge. Where is he from? Yeah. He was I think he's from South America. I mean We're gonna stick with Jorge. No. We're not I'm not gonna say that. Jorge Murillo Bergoglio. That's a cool name. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He should have been a street fighter.

Yeah. There was an option. I don't know how we got down in this route. Anyway, continue on. Don't wanna blaspheme the man. Anyway, anyway, the the the pope has passed away. So one of the questions is, like, how do they do this thing? How do they how do you find the next pope? And, like, we're not Catholic. But, I mean, let's just say you had a big institution like the Catholics. I don't know. Like, how would you go about it? I I don't it's very intriguing, the situation they're in, especially the influence that a pope has. And like Do they do they ever vote on anything as like the Catholic church?

Like, every everybody? Yeah. No. I don't think so. No. No. You it's a it's a rep it's a republic, really. It's a representative government. But you don't pick the representative. The representative is chosen for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess the Protestants never get together and vote on anything. No. That's we just avoid this problem by not having like, you either gotta figure out a a mechanism to manage such a giant thing. Otherwise, you go, can't be done. Split them all up. Yeah. Most churches, though, there's all kinds of votes for all kinds of things. Well, at the individual level, you're right. Like Yeah. Like, members can vote. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I've been so far out of that. It's been twenty four years since I've been in a church that votes on on stuff, you know, you know, because we don't work that way. But, yeah, I talk to friends all the time. They're like, oh, we're gonna have a vote on whether we have whether we change to a communion juice. And like, what? We're not gonna do that. Which it's just which is wild though. Like, think of that. And, like, I'm the ultimate cheater because, like, the house church thing just completely blows up. We we don't have to manage anything.

But because I feel like it's so difficult to start to like, the bigger you go, the harder it is to manage, the more I'm like, I don't know. Are we even talking about the right things anymore? And it it can be done. I just am like real wary of it. But like, let's just say you you if you were trying to run something as big as what the Catholic church is trying to run. Yeah. I mean, it seems like a crazy thing to try to accomplish. And so I I I know it's kinda it's it's easy, right, for scrutiny about some of this stuff. I'm just saying, like, nothing runs that large. Because they they I mean, that's like it's it they run it. I mean, it Oh, yeah. It's it's not like some CEO off in a corner somewhere like Pope Pope speaks.

That's a worldwide declaration. Right. I mean, that's crazy. It is wild. Yeah. Can't there's I can't think of anything else like it. How could you find a guy? Dude, we can. In a in a in a room and they're like, alright, fellas. Who's the best of us? Yeah. So so, like, the general once the pope dies, there's like can't I remember it exactly. It's, a two to three week time frame where they gotta select another pope. It can start as soon as possible, like but everybody has to get there. So, like, there's criteria. You have to be less than 80 years old, and then there has, like, a number of like, there's a a few other things. But, like, I think there was a 185 people who qualify, like, who could be the next pope. And these are the people who are voting. Now now didn't

the last pope he's still alive, right, that that retired? Because that was such an unusual thing. No. I think he's dead. Did he oh. Didn't the other guy die? I'll look him up. Okay. I don't I don't follow. No. Sorry. I said you don't have to anybody could technically be pope, but most of the time, vast majority of the time, they come from this stock of people who are the people who get to vote. I'm waiting for a phone call. Oh, you're not a Catholic, Dan. You're not allowed. I'm part of the the the Catholic church. They want capital c. It's I'm I'm small c Catholic church. No. You can't do you can't cannot be done. So so anyway, they get this group of dudes here and like the at the last pope could pope choosing, they limited it to like only a 120 of them, I think. But anyway, they show up and they everyone gets put into this to these chambers or whatever and they go, alright. From here on out, like, no visitors. Nothing. You don't get any outside,

world, you know, information or whatever. It's just us, a 120 fellers, and, we're gonna vote for the pope. And they all write down they vote up to, like, four times a day. And so they take these votes and like everyone comes up and they you got this little slip of paper and, you say a thing like some some, Latin that is something about commitment or something and then you put it into the box. And then they get them all, like, sewn together. They, like, sew all these votes together, and they count them up. And then if if there's no consensus, I think it's, like, two thirds or something,

they they take all of them and they mix it with a chemical so that when you burn it, it's a black smoke. And then that's where the the black smoke goes out the chimney. It's why the the cameras are gonna be on this chimney in, like, a week, and there's gonna be, like, twenty four seven coverage of the chimney over at the Vatican. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, they they sleep. Like, they everyone stays on the grounds. They said they have very, like, rudimentary dormitory type of type of places to sleep. I mean, you're spending your time in, the Sistine Chapel and in, like, very, you know, I don't know, historically awesome looking buildings, but these dudes are sleeping in, you know, cots or Do do they have, like, a talent show? It's it's unclear. A voice type thing? They some people sing. Maybe put a mask on and totally try to guess. But there's a but I mean, like, are they all, like, praying and then be like, hey. Let's get together in a couple hours. Everybody go pray about it. Oh, yeah. I think the like, they don't they they pray together and they people are praying separately.

And there is there is some jockeying, like, it would have to be. Yeah. Like, you just because you're saying there's, like, a 175 people, and those are the ones voting on themselves? Most of the time, it's coming from that group of guys. They could technically grab anybody, but most of the time, it's from that stable of dudes. Okay. And so, like, you get to hear their like, they're trying to figure out you know, you don't wanna you don't wanna it's kinda like a jury. Like, you just don't wanna be way out of left field and not know where the winds are blowing. You gotta know where you're gonna start compromising or what people care about or or whatever. Have they ever kicked a pope out? Like, have they ever made a bad decision in their life? Look, man. You're you're depoped. Yeah. Yes. Correct. Yeah. They've had to do that. So anyway and they they just keep doing it. And they said like two to four times a day and they keep doing it until they get closer and closer. And eventually, you get to two thirds. And they they take all that up and they put a different chemical in there. So when it burns, it's white smoke. And then everyone knows that a pope has been chosen. And then within a few hours, that pope will come out and generally speaks. And he's he gets to choose his name. So Francis, we said his name was

Jorge and Jorge Mario. Orgaglio. And he and he chose pope Francis. He became pope Francis off of Francis of Assisi. And, so same thing, like the Pope gets to change and it kind of like, it gives them a chance to like, you get a sense for what they care about. So Francis of Assisi had a a deep, care for the poor and the underprivileged, and you'll you do see that a lot in, I think, what Pope Francis was was trying to do. And, and so the same thing is gonna happen here. Like, you kinda get a sense. If you get a some guy names Pius

the tenth or something, like, you you know that he's like, a hard noser, and Uh-huh. He's gonna he's willing to take the sword. And so, you know, like, that's what you'll get. And then, whenever, then the stuff all just starts falling into place, and he he starts poping. I think this the whole thing is fascinating to me. Yeah. They have to have some have some site type of sense of what's going on. I mean, you got a 175 whatever big guys. Everyone of them is thinking, hey. This could be me. Oh, right. I mean, why wouldn't you vote for yourself? Yeah. I don't know. Or they're honest with themselves and say, ah, but, you know, John over there, he's he's He'd be good. He's he's he's probably better than me. Yeah. That I I think that's gonna be because, like, it could go one of two ways. Right? Like, everybody's, like, super humble about it. They're like, I don't know if god's chosen me for this. You know, what what about the rest of you fellas? And they all do the same thing. Uh-huh. Right? Until one guy's like, no. Yeah. It's definitely me. They're like, I don't know about that. I mean, who screams right to the front? And think about it. Like, let's maybe it wouldn't go quite this way, but if you took that same structure and you looked at non Catholic, so let's just go with Protestant churches, and you think of all the, like, the big leaders, you've got some theologians,

you've got all kinds of, like, very popular pastors. And let's say you could scrounge up a 120 of them dudes to put into a room. Like, wouldn't that be chaos? Oh, yeah. And there's no way they'd come to a consensus in even two weeks. Kenneth Copeland and and what's what's the guy we always make fun of? Is it with the with the curly hair and the Olsteen. Yeah. Jesse Duplantis. Can always be with You could put all these guys in a room. TV evangelist guys who who, you know, are building empires and, like, okay. There's only one of you. Yeah. We're gonna vote. You wouldn't get to two thirds. It feels like there's no way. No. I would never have. You couldn't do it. You couldn't do it. And, like, and I think this was a protestant church is, like, so split because, like, you'd have theological lines where people, like, hard nose, cannot do it. I can't vote for this guy. The Catholics are like, well, mean, this is what the Catholics believe. So everyone in here is Catholic. So, I mean The hell? We can lose, but I mean It's really the age old question though. Like, because it it depends on what community you're in that, like, that almost kinda guides which kind of pastor you're gonna have. Right? Cause you're right, there's really good theologians out there, but they couldn't deliver a sermon to spend their days. There's really slick talkers, they're

more motivational speakers than they are or whatever. And then there's pastors who are just really good at running a church. Right? The business of running a church. Right? They make sure this is funded and this is whatever. And so, like, what is the Pope's, like, job? Actually, I think you've seen but, like, I'm obviously I'm no Catholic historian. I know someone enough to be dangerous at times. But, like, I think it is varied by popes. And so you saw the the two popes previous to Pope Francis, like, were largely concerned with,

the theology. They they wanted to make sure, like, is has the Catholic faith articulated itself to, to know that people knew where to what's where to stand on hot button modern issues? Sure. It it was less pastoral. It wasn't not pastoral, but it was less so. It was more like, hey. What are the what how do we think about these things?

And that was true for I feel bad like Benedict. And Benedict. And John Paul. And John Paul. But then Pope Francis was more pastoral. Like, he was, he would be the guy where, like, you know, some of the popes would go to these big cities. He would he almost wouldn't, like, stop and do big events in big cities. He would always go to, like, the peripheral cities. He would,

there's, like, multiple places of which you can stay in Vatican City, and he his is, like, the most like, the not ornate one. Like, he was a very that's that was his backgrounds where he like, a lot of the work he did. And you see that when he chooses, like, know, Francis of Assisi, like, that's the vibe that he's giving. And, yes, of course, like, he when he spoke, people listened. And, like, it got him in in some hot water a few different times when he was talking on something that that was intended to to communicate a level of grace to individuals and, like, it got translated into, oh, this is this is, like, new this something's changing about how the church thinks about things. And really, like, it's almost the equivalent of things where I would say there's conversations that are kitchen table conversations.

Yes. I mean, if you ask me plainly, what do I think the scriptures and Jesus feel about x y thing, I can tell you that. But it doesn't mean that I want to. What I wanna do is have a kitchen table conversation with you because I know there's a lot of that goes into these types of things. Yeah. And, like, I'm not defending pope Francis. There's some things that I just find out wouldn't agree with that he said. But I do think the the tenor of what he was trying to do was more pastoral than those other things. And because people were looking for, like, very solid lines of which to say ins and outs, goods and bads, Sometimes he was difficult for, both the more conservative and more liberal folks to take in, be because of that. He would he was dealing with human situations. But, unfortunately, to your point though, like, you're the one guy whose words carry impact to the whole world. Like, maybe you can't have that guy doing it. Mhmm. Like, the pastoral guy who who can't like, I couldn't do that. I couldn't have people hang on to my words. Like, the things that I say to individuals in comfort and encouragement like I'm just not that careful with my words and so I'm the wrong guy for that job. Anyway anyway, that's that's what I don't but I I think it is as as like it's I mean, it's rife for, hey. Can people abuse it? Is it mystery is it mysterious? Well, yeah. But, like, what would you have it be? Like, you can't have it be some sort of populous circus.

Yeah. And and you can't have how many was it? Like, do you know, a billion and a half Catholics or something? Yeah. Like, not like you can send out 6,000,000,000. Yeah. So you can't go send out votes for everyone. And so, yes, you got representatives. Yes. They're older and wiser dudes, you know, coming in to do that. And and it's the Catholic church. Are you surprised it's all fellas? Like, these are not surprising things. It's like there's a practicality to it. And there's one thing like, the things I've I've always appreciated, I I don't I think it can be barriers to, like, meeting and following Jesus. But, like, as an institution, you know, they've been saying the same crap for a thousand years. True. You say the same thing when you put the vote in. You make the same commitments when you, you know, get in the room and go, look, we can't talk to anybody. And, like, there's something how else can you feel comfortable when stable in something in in the in the selection process of someone who has so much influence for good or for bad? That, you know, like a crappy pope could here's the thing. A a a really terrible pope,

like, don't just whiz on Catholics. You know what saying? Like, if something were to happen, like, it would fall on everybody else who claims to follow the same Jesus. And so, like Yeah. I don't believe in the pope as a authority figure, but, like, it does it does I will pray for him. Mhmm. And I will pray for the process because it does influence how people think of Jesus. And so, you know,

anyway And and I would say the average unbeliever who's not attended church anywhere, they don't know the difference between a Catholic and a Protestant. Yeah. Right. They're just okay. Well And actually, I think they tend to lean to think that most Christians are are the Catholic version. Right? Because it's the most new I would not not nuanced. It's got its most idiosyncrasies. Right? Like, they unlikely think of a nun or a guy in a black, you know, cloak with a white something or other, you know, or or doing hail mary's or stuff. Like, if you were gonna ask people what Christianity was, they didn't know anything about it. They know the form and the function of the Catholic church better than just about anything. Yeah. It's it's most visually apparent. Like, if you were to walk down the road and say, hey, pick out me the street thief. Like, you're gonna look for exaggerated cartoonish versions of what a street thief looks like, but most of them look like you. That's what makes them good thieves. Yes. And so that part will stick out. How old how old was Pope who just passed? Wasn't, like, 88? He's up there, though. I mean Yeah. Everybody in that crowd who could be in that pool of potential new popes, they've really been vying for this job for the last five years. Oh, yeah. You you you know. No. He's not gonna last forever. Right? So it's not like out of a clear blue slate. Okay, guys. Now what do you wanna do? It's like people have been thinking about this. Yes. Right. And he's been sick. He was sick the last number of months. And so, like, probably two months ago, people are like, I don't know, Theodore. You might be you might be a good one. Let's start talking to people. Right. Right. I'm always watching your health because one of these days, if you're gone, I'm taking over. You're taking over. Was that a hey. Was that a cough over there? Maybe you got the tuberculosis.

My guy can start vying for that chair. I'm not it, Dan. I'm I'm the wrong guy. I don't see any white smoke. Okay. You're listening to life from the past. So, anyway, I don't know. Interesting stuff to be praying for regardless of whether you're Catholic or not. It is a force of which people recognize and believe Jesus is involved in and so it is important. Just like just like if there's a CEO of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes.

Like, I'm not one of them, but I would still should still pray for the guy and I care who they pick. So I hate that you said that. Like, there's a I forget to pray for the things that are actually important to me. Mhmm. You know, like and then I'm like, hey, man. Have you been praying for the CEO of the fellowship of Christian athletes? I'm like, well, no. Dang it. I don't often do was one. But, like, I also will pray and then go, well, nothing else is coming to mind. I'm like, it's crazy. It's crazy that nothing's coming to mind. And it and it tells me there's usually a really good indicator that, like, I'm,

I'm just going through the motions a bit, that I'm not thinking. Because even if I just stopped and let my wine wander for ten seconds, it would land on somebody or some situation of which I could offer up in prayer. And if I if I'm like, the same, you know, you pray for your wife, pray for your kids, pray for the day, make sure you don't say something you shouldn't do. And then I'm like, okay. I think I'm ready. And, like, that's that's it. It's not bad, but like it also feels like I'm just going through the motions if that's all I thought of. Because like there's whatever, people in the room who need prayer, their families and friends who need prayer, people at the church who need prayer, the guy who runs the fellowship of Christian athletes. Like, you know Yeah. Like there's all kinds of people. Yeah. So, alright. You're listening live from the path. A few other things we were gonna get to today, we're just gonna cross that one off because I think we got all the way through it. Mike might have some nope style advice, and so we'll see if it comes around, but we felt it just just didn't feel right at the day of the pope's death to give out pope style advice. Yeah.

It felt crass. And you know you know we've drawn a line somewhere if we said, you know what? We're not gonna do that. Yeah. So anyway, we may do some nope style advice today. Nope with an n. Nope with an n. That's right. And then we had you know, it was an observation. And maybe maybe I'm not sure. I don't know if it holds. But, like, does

there's a there seems like people who are wishy washy in their faith, I've often found also appear to be not standard behavior in their other, like, non faith life. And I I could just be sensitive. That's a really nice way of saying that. Yeah? Does it seem right? Like, nonstandard. Like and I I hate I don't like the way I'm proposing it because it feels like,

hey. To faithfully follow Jesus, maybe you should aim for a nine to five and a Subaru and a bit too much of a mortgage and I don't and you don't care for your mother-in-law. Like, whatever the standard, thing is. It's not what I mean. But, like, I I just it it says seemed consistent that that, like, I know lots of people where their faith seemed to, like, go wishy washy.

Their their life outside of faith was doing the same thing. Like, were in you know, no no one was in a job for more than two years a year. And their marriage was great and it was the best it's ever been and then it was terrible. And like it's just the whole a lot of it feels very dramatic to me. And I do and and sometimes I would say it felt like their faith is leading them and sometimes it would feel like their faith is just nowhere to be seen and, like, God has nothing to speak to in the variances of their lives. And I just have seen it so often. I was one, was I was gonna ask you guys is, one, have you seen the same thing? And two,

like, what is that? Like, what is it? Is costing us behavior? Like, be because it's it's hard it's hard it has to be hard to go through. Yeah. It has to be hard to go through. And I I don't you don't make an idol out of stability, but but, like, how can you walk faithfully when it feels like you're just jutting your leg out every like, all the time? And and it feels like it's somewhat related to life decisions, and is it somehow something

I don't know. How would we counsel something like that? Because I think I've been effectively counseled it. Yeah. Yeah. They effectively that's the thing. Yeah. So some people just like, all they have known is chaos. Yeah. They were raised in chaos. Maybe there's an unstable family. May maybe, you know, alcoholic parents. There's all kinds of different situations that can cause chaos. And then they become adults, and they don't know how to not have chaos. Mhmm. So so even if they're they have things all lined up perfectly for a while, they will self destruct just because they're more comfort. They have find comfort in the chaos Yeah. Which which doesn't make sense because I'm not familiar to me. Right. But my my wife has had students at school that that that they that's basically what psychology said, the reason they do this is they need chaos, and it's like, okay. That made sense to her. Yep. And that that setting that they I have to disrupt the whole class. Why did you do that? I don't I you know, you were doing great. You were getting a's. You were passing everything, and all of a sudden, you know, I'm throwing tables. It's

like Reese Bobby. From the Talladega Nights where he blows he blows up the have you seen that, Dan? Yeah. And so it's it's the dad where they sit down with the Applebee's, and he's like, I don't know, son. I just gotta blow it up. Yeah. Right. Down the road. So people just got to. The old Reese Bobby. Got myself I'm married. I got children. I got a church. I got a job. Everything's in everything's doing great. And at some point, they don't know how to handle that. Like like, I've had that for so long. I don't know what I'm gonna fail somewhere, so I might as well just go ahead and blow it up. Okay. Now that I relate to. I I understand to say, like, the much more as you add start to add stacks upon stable, you start to be grossly aware of your fallibilities, and

you you con you control the crash as opposed to being worried all the time that you're gonna make a mistake like some you may have made in the past and that that will blow it up. You basically steer the plane into the ground as opposed to it getting shot out of the air. Mhmm. Type of so, like, trying to control how it fails because you believe it's inevitable that it will, that it's it's not right, but, like, I that I get. Like, I I because that that I guess that was my reaction, which is like, well, how do you how do you make someone how do you help someone be more comfortable in the non chaos?

Like like like like with entropy diminishing, how do you because because because to your point, like, I have seen people, things are going they're starting to go well. They're trending in the right direction. They're feeling good. They're establishing themselves. They're getting healthy relationships. They have money that they have never had in the past. Like, there's a stability to that.

And then you're right. If it feels more like if that's not helping you to go, hey. I like this. I should keep this. You're not getting more comfortable because what effect where I would feel like, oh, you must be getting more comfortable. But if you're looking at it going, yeah, it seems like more that I can screw up. And so if I can just if I can blow this up a little bit and maybe it's it's not like super consciously, but like you're just trying to control a little bit how the thing destructs. And so you're not having to carry the weight of all those things because because because that other point, you know, think just think of the responsibilities of the fellows in the room. Like, my stability is important to about 15 different things. And if I went off the rails, like,

there is a serious consequence to at least three or four of them. Mhmm. Whereas if I didn't you know, if I was unstable, no one would put things on top of that stability. And so whether I fail or don't fail, doesn't have as much of a consequence. Like, there's a lot of impact to failing in a stable world. And so Yeah. Sometimes it's easier just not to be stable so that, people don't stack the the responsibility on top of it. Now to oversimplify it, in my mind, I always think, well, if the fruits of the spirit are like things like love and joy Mhmm. Peace and patience and kindness and self control and, you know, gentleness, all the things, that as you allow the holy spirit to take more control of your life, that that that it's okay to be out of chaos. You're more comfortable out of chaos. But but it's sometimes it's there's certain people you you that just don't ever get there. Yeah. And I don't know because they're not cultivating

spiritually. That's a judgment on my part. I I don't know. I just don't know. I don't blame you know, accuse them of that, but I have seen other people in chaos come out of it because of God's, like, the center of their life now. They'll and and they've gone years, you know, with with, like, stability and and success and and growth spiritually and in in relationships and the whole thing. Yeah. But then some don't. And that goes back to maybe what we a little bit of what we talked about last week is we were talking about, like, how maybe it's a couple weeks ago, but your what you believe even spirit like theologically can if you're chasing highs

and lows spiritually, like, I know it feels boring to be just be the guy who's like, just read my bible every day. Yeah. And I may or may not actually run into anybody and lay hands on a dude. Like, it may it may not happen for six months. And like, there's there's a stability in your walk with Jesus that he's not asking you to be Ben Foust superstar, disciple of the Lord. Like, it's the stability is actually perfectly fine,

and and you're not having to gin up things to otherwise impress God. Like, so what you believe about that type of thing can also, like, cause you to chase highs and lows. And so if you're chasing highs and lows spiritually, it's not as not as a surprise to me that you're chasing, like, the highs and lows will be happening in your physical life or or vice versa. Like, it's harder to hold on to even though I've I've like, most people will will keep the words, like, yeah. I'm back in the same situation I was that I didn't wanna be in, but at least I have the Lord.

Yeah. I I agree with that. But, like Yeah. I it's not it's wrong to think that the Lord is intentionally, like, running you through these peaks and valleys. I don't that is not that's not the scriptures. Like, there's not there's not evidence to me in the scriptures that those types of things are happening. What you end up having is a stability in places in ways of which it's not, explainable. Right? Where Paul's like,

you know, he could be in prison and he's not wigging out. Even though his even though his physical life is jumping up and down, he's he's stock solid. He's sitting there singing hymns. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I I don't know. It just and I I maybe maybe it's it's running through, like, because I'm frustrated by it. I'm frustrated watching people do it, and I'm I'm frustrated at feeling like I don't know how to help. Like, be because, like, the the the way the things that I would recommend, I can just look and go, I don't know. Like, stop doing unstable things. Like, stay at the job.

Make the car payment. Like, keep keep talking to your spouse. Like, don't don't go hang out with those dudes. And, like, I get that they're not, you know, things things are compulsions, and it's not I'm not saying at all that it's easy. But, like, that's what's that's what's stable. And, like, as you do that, you then start to, you know, spiritually, you know, like, don't don't go chasing things here and there. Like, just just try to keep praying and try to, like, remind yourself of the true things that God has told you and stick with those things. And so, anyway, like, I know it's not all that simple, but, like, that's that's my point of frustration is, like, I mean, I bet it's I bet it's two dozen folks that pastorally or relationally that the situations have come up, and I'm like, I just feel like I'm failing them because I don't know how to help it. But it's the same cycle of stuff. Mhmm. Same cycle of stuff. Yeah. There's a

you're right. This is fairly nuanced. Right? But, like, just listening to you put all this thing together, there seems to be, like, a couple major orb problems. Right? Mhmm. Is is especially the the peaks and valleys, like, thought process. Right? The whole point of following

Jesus and having faith in who God the father is is it takes the focus off of you. Like, God has to still be good whether you perceive it or not. Yeah. Today, tomorrow, three months from now, whether your God just told you that you gotta be naked for three years to prove what's gonna happen to Egypt. You know what I'm saying? Like and

so if if if you get in a pattern where you're chasing spiritual highs and being affected by spiritual lows all the time, that's only from your perspective that it's a spiritual high Oh, yeah. Or that it's a spiritual low. Right? So you're still the main focus of the story. And so, yeah, is that dangerous? And yeah, will that lead you to believe that your perception of God changes

based on how it's going for you? Right? Like, yeah, that's unstable. Right? So, like, the consistent part of being a Christian is the fact that God is consistent. Yeah. Everything else is not. You know? And so the consistency that that this is where it gets kind of melded up with the American dream a little bit. Right? Because we what you don't wanna say is is that being a Christian or like God has you set up to have a boring stable life. Yeah. You don't wanna add her all the Christian life. Right? It's and and it's why people would rebel against it. They're like, oh, well, we need more rules because our life needs to look this way. We need to have more rules. We gotta do this. We gotta reign this in. We gotta make sure we don't stay up past 09:30.

You can't be within three miles of a woman. You know what saying? Like, this kind of stuff or no dancing. You know? And so, like, we do all this because we're like, consistent life. But the problem is is all your consistency is built into Yahweh. He's consistent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right? And so, like, if you your life could be a chaotic mess. Talk to any AA counselor.

Right? Or, like or or a pastor, you know, for heaven's sakes. Like, it's it's coming at you from 10 different directions on the different levels of depravity. People have decided to send their way into trouble, and you're like, good night. I haven't heard that one. I've been doing this for twenty five years. You know? But but you can still have stability in Christ Jesus. That's where it's at. Your life is not a reflection of whether he's stable or not. And so I guess what I'm I think what I'm trying to point to is is like mostly those ups and downs

are in the eye of the beholder. And and so instead of chasing the ups and downs or even calling them ups and downs, right, you go, God is consistent. God is good. This is the situation I'm in. And, like, your choices start to become more consistent because as you start to follow Christ, you start to live a life that's not about you. Right? It's ultimately about him.

And secondarily, it's about everyone around you. And by the time that you get that order figured out, you're like, alright. God's general principles and heart really dictates a lot of my behavior right now. And then after that, I'm responsible for or I care for x x x and x x. And so then by the time it comes down to you as the third priority in the whole shebang,

you go, I actually can't do this. One, because consistent and loving God says that's not for you. Two, if I do it, it's gonna have this effect on the other 10 people that I am sacrificing my life for. And so by the time it gets down to me, the odds are now 12 to one against. Yeah. I just can't do this. Mhmm. You know? Yeah. I just can't. And so, like, it's not all a spiritual problem, and I I think that chaos thing is probably right to some aspect, but once again, it's still self focused. Yeah. And so psychology will go,

this is why it they would do this. And once again, it goes back to like, this is informed but not excused. You you do this because it's still about you. Right? And I I don't think anybody's nailing this. You know what I'm saying? Like, I think I think I I mean, I'm guilt way guilty of failing at these things, but there's a level that I will not fall to. I just won't because God is still God, and I have way too many people that I've sacrificed parts of my life for that fall because I decided that I was I I it's probably been three times this week where I'm like, I I just can't do this. Even when it comes to, like, taking a day off of work. Right? Like, if I wanted to burn a day of PTO to go work on somebody's house for them, and I thought, you know what? I really wanna do this. Like, just for me and for them. What that's good. But I can't do this. Because the thing is is that PTO, that paid time off, I'm gonna need to go on vacation with my family. I can't do what I I can't just do this. I can't just take a day off to sit around and do nothing because I feel like I need a rest and a Sabbath. I can, but there's consequences to that and they don't all fall on me. And it I decided I gotta go to work. You know? Yeah. And so, like, there's just a certain level after of of doing this after a while that you're like,

if it's not all about me, which you should figure out pretty quick that it ain't, you know, but but the joy comes from all of that. That's the hardest part to see is like if you think that I'm if I don't focus on me, no one will be out for my joy. Well, that's the story of the bible. God says, I'm out for your joy. You do this. I am consistent. You follow me. You listen to me. You read that bible even on days you don't want to. You need to find me good even if it's your life isn't. Right? And those are the stories of the faith that people are like, that guy was awesome. Right? Paul is classic for this. Dudes that are being, like, taken by a hostile terrorist government and held in there for twenty years, and they're praying in their cell, you know, like telling the gospel to everybody and they get out and they're smiling. They're like, yeah, God had me doing work in the cell. You know? Yeah. And like these are all the things where you're like, now that that's faith. That's what we're looking for. And so it's unfair to boil it down to, look, man, you're thinking about yourself too much. But it's it's 85% of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's too bad too because, like, no one likes to hear that. You don't wanna hear that when you're going through the wishy washyness and say, at the end of the day, dude, like, even your your bad your bad decisions are are selfish.

And, like, not to pile on, but, like, you what you gotta decide that, like, I will not I, like, yeah. I can't I won't choose like, what I want is this thing. I'm not going to choose me. Yeah. I'm going to choose God and his direction for my life. I'm gonna choose the people that I am have some level of responsibility or influence on or frankly even just people who care about me. Because frankly, like, wishy washyness puts people through the ringer just because they love you, and they gotta watch the wishy washyness. Yeah. And so It's a hard word, man. Yeah. I mean, it it ain't easy going down. It ain't easy coming out. No. Right? Like, because because I'm just as guilty as everybody else in this particular area, but it is the truth. Right? Like, it is it is largely a a a focus on yourself, how you feel. It's like and that's a cultural thing. That is how you feel about something has become the top card in just about the way that almost our entire modern culture approaches something.

And and, like, it is a super hard word to have to look at somebody go, look, man, it doesn't matter how you feel. Right? Like Right. And I can't even like, twenty years ago, I said, I don't care how you feel. Now I do care how you feel. I'm just saying it doesn't play into the cards. And that's unfortunate because it's gonna feel worse for you, but feelings come and go. Right? Consistent God stays the same all the time. How many how many people over the years I've talked to who have, like, had affairs, and now they're trying to either figure out, do they break the marriage up? Do they go with a new person? And what's going on? It's always a selfishness thing. The whole thing is selfish. I felt good about this. This person I felt like they loved me more than my my other person did or or whatever. And I always think, well, what has kept me from doing well, for one thing, I've never had the opportunity, I guess. But why why do I I never put myself in the opportunity? I I thought You're an ugly man, Dan.

I've thought before. What what if the opportunity presented itself someday? Like, how would I battle that? Yeah. You know, be so I'm not overly judging other people. Like, well, what what what do I have in place to to make sure that that say someone threw themselves at me and I'd be like, woah. You know? That it's the all those other people that you have counting on you is part of it. Know, well, number one, I I made a promise to God, so I'm not gonna let him down Mhmm. To my the best of my ability. But I have a wife I made a vow to, so I I owe her whether I'm happy or not or, you know, whatever this or that, I still owe her. I have children who have a certain, you know, view of me that that that would destroy if I'd doing that. I'm a pastor, so I have a who knows how how far that goes, the the waves, the ripple effects of that kind of you know? Mhmm. There's so many reasons to not do it. Yeah. And none of them had anything have anything to do with me. It's it's it's other people. It's it's it's it's

it helps center you. It keeps you stable, I guess, is is when when you waiver yourself. In in any issue, that's a fair scheme to mind because it seems like you you hear about that periodically. And I think it's just the ultimate selfishness right there. Yeah. And I think it is I think that is one is harder for people because we are culturally surrounded

with, an elevation of of your feelings. Mhmm. Like, I felt like a thing. And, like, I it's it's not always like, you know, they're not all craven. Like, you just got, like, you got a feeling that goes, look. I'm just feeling like to Mike's example, I'm not feeling great today, and, like, I just don't really wanna go into work. It would be great to just sit here and get some rest and rest it out, but you might end up doing the thing that you don't wanna do Mhmm. Because for all the other reasons. And, like, so the feelings had to go, yes, but you weighed against these other responsibilities and situations and things that are important to other people. I'm I'm gonna have to go do the thing. And, like, I think we have,

I I think there's a wrong we've we've I'm sure we've talked about this. That, like, you can over you can overdo it. It's like your feelings do better. They are you're it's true that you're feeling them. Whether they're lying to you or not is a separate question. But, like, even if they are true, it doesn't mean that they always get the loudest voice at the table. Like, sometimes like, there's all kinds of just just think of every the things that we call the temptations. Like, these are all feelings that you have that you're like, am I going to act on this or not? Am I going to spend my time thinking about this thing? Am I going to take action on this thing? Am I gonna harbor this these feelings towards someone else, either whether it's ill will, resentment, or lust, or whatever it is. Like, you gotta choose as to whether like, it might feel good to to it feels good to be angry at certain people. It feels good to look a little longer at certain people. And, like, all those things may actually feel good to you, but doesn't mean they're righteous, and it doesn't mean they're serving you, and it doesn't mean that they're serving other people. And so, like, regardless of whether you feel them or not,

those feelings cannot be honored. And so, I I think that's difficult. Like, without dismissing that, like, hey. I know this is, if you don't get to the feeling part, it's harder to solve. Then you're you're always just playing defense. Like, you gotta figure out why am I so angry? Why am I even spending any time lusting after someone? Maybe I got some idle hands or something. Like, what you do have to still solve the feeling thing because otherwise, your life's just 10 times harder playing defense all the time. Yeah. Yeah. But but it still doesn't matter that at the end of the day, like, your your feelings don't have to be honored. And I think we've done we've done a disservice

on that as if it's just blind allegiance. Sometimes it is. Sometimes, like, it just means, like, you just put a gate that can't open to keep you out of things regardless of how you feel about it. Mhmm. Because it's important. Okay. Alright. Well, anyway, I like, you're listening live from the path. Maybe you got some did we get that Maybe we got it wrong. Maybe you've experienced this, and, we we're we're missing an angle on it, or you've, dealt with it or involved with people who dealt with it, you've got some recommendations. We'd love to hear them. That's, you can, give us a call at the or text at the live from the path complaint line. (515) 517-0085. That's call or text (515) 517-0085 at the live from the path complaint line. We'd love to be able to hear your hear your thoughts. Alright. This actually ties in a little bit to my to my nope style advice. Nope style advice. Okay.

Because I was just thinking about it the other day, and it's not only something that's true with me, but it's true with quite a few people around me right now. It's like they're waiting for something. They're waiting for God to do something. And it occurred to me that the tendency is to be like is to move it the thing that you're waiting for god to to show up in and to interact with. And it could be a health issue. It could be a sickness. It could be people

who walked away from him. It could be a job opportunity that you're just like, oh, god. I just need you to answer this. Whatever. Right? And so, like, there's there's plenty of biblical examples of of trusting god in the waiting. But I I think the part that that came to my head was the idleness in the waiting Mhmm. That that I think can actually you're you're you're basically playing for the other team now. Do you know what I'm saying? Like like, we used to talk about this. There's a there's a fella back in the day that we knew really well,

and it was it was pretty much what we just got done talking with. It's like these up and down roller coasters be doing great, then be doing terrible, doing great, doing terrible. And it occurred to me at the time that, like, spiritually, like, basically, if the the the the opposition, the opposer can take down one guy, he was taken down five at a time. Yeah. Right? Because everybody was following the highs and lows of everything this cat was doing. And I'm like, this isn't good. This is this doesn't seem like how we're we're being so easily swept up in this. Right? It's great to care about somebody

and about their well-being and how's it going and and and be excited for them when they've they're following Jesus and all is well. But then, like, they end up getting arrested or falling off the wagon or causing a bunch of trouble. And then, like, your stomach hurts, and then you worry about them all the time. And you're like and then your whole life is not operating anywhere to the way that it was or to the glory of God or to the your joy or people around you because this one event just keeps happening over and over again. I thought that's not good. Like, it it doesn't mean that it's either care a lot or apathetic. Those aren't the only two options. But somehow, we have to keep on doing the things that God created us to do while we're waiting for him

to show up. Mhmm. Mhmm. And I think my pope style advice is is it's healthy to pray consistently for God to show up in a thing, for people around you, for you, for a big thing, this big obstacle you see in your life. But it is not the only thing that he is doing,

and it's the it's not the only thing that you're designed to do. You weren't designed to, like, live following Jesus and then boom, this one thing shows up and now your entire pursuit of him or actions for you or people around you goes completely on hold while you're like, okay. I'll just wait until God redeems this part. And then I will be back on track. But in the meantime, I'm just gonna be. You know? And so

I try to say that I wanna be real light and careful in the way that I say that because like some of these things are very hard and they are life changing hard and your life is not gonna look exactly like it did. But while you're asking for God to redeem and show up in his perfect timing and his perfect will to allow these things to come to fruition, I think the idle the idle part is is dangerous, right, of just sitting

and waiting. And you're like, I have faith. I'm just gonna wait. And, like, I get that. But I think the waiting in our minds implies that you're gonna do nothing else but wait until this situation's resolved. And then it your life can get back on track to whatever it was supposed to be. And that thing might not happen in the time frame that you have in mind, even a time frame that you find tolerable. Mhmm. In fact, by the time it gets to there, while you were idly waiting,

it could have broken you in the meantime. And then all of a sudden, the god that you depended on to to come to fruition and to bring about his mighty right hand to fix a thing, you're actually no longer following because you were waiting for him to do a thing. And he's like, yeah. I I hear you. But it ain't gonna be a year. It ain't gonna be two years. It ain't gonna be ten years. It's gonna be whatever. You know what I'm saying? And so like, I think the pope style advice is is like, if if you're in the midst of one of these situations where you're like,

God, if you I know you are faithful in this and I know you will do this thing and I will patiently wait because you are good. And you're like, yes, that's where I need to be. I think the advice is that's kind of where you need to be. I think that's good and right. But I don't just be careful on how much weight that you're hinging the rest of your life on and the rest of the things that God has you doing. You're not so one dimensional in a way. And, like, I once again, I I realize this is probably a hard word for people with, like, very life changing circumstances.

That they're like, my life doesn't even look close to what it looked like until x showed up or this thing happened or whatever. But the truth is is like now you've boiled your entire existence down and god's faithfulness down to this one thing, and it it can't hold it that way. Right? He is faithful and good in a lot of things, and he is worthy of praise in the meantime while you're waiting. And he does have things for you to do in his good world while you're waiting for the time and perspective to match his. And so the pope style advice is just when you're gonna wait

I I don't even know if I could tell you to do it with joy because some things are just hard, but do do it with a consistent eye that is that is not the only aspect of your life. And if God's going to redeem it, you're not pushing it along farther by patiently doing nothing in the meantime. Yeah. I think that's super thoughtful because I think we are prone to being consumed by situations that are in front of us, especially situations that we let we believe only God can move. And so you spend all your time focusing on prayer and being watchful and waiting for God to answer a thing. And, like,

we run the risk of not being useful to ourselves and to the people around us because, like, we took a time out when, like, the rest of the thing kept playing. Yeah. Like, the rest of the situation kept occurring. Like, there's plenty of people who have done great work in serving others and loving people like God wants them loved and spreading good news, even while their marriage is not yet healed from some pain that occurred. And had that person, like, just bowed out and said, Lord, I because it means so much to me. This is that's the part that feels righteous because, like, it feels means so much to you. Or,

you know, it is just that big. It's life changing. And so you're, like but but but in effect, you became self fulfilling. It did change your life because you stopped your life waiting for God to step in as opposed to going back to our in in some relation to the old wishy washy situation, which is that, like, God is the stability regardless of those things. And so even as they yet the answer yet tarries, there is still, goodness to be walked in even pending the result.

And the and well, what the heck? Macro, this is our whole Christian experience. There is, like, a very big promise coming, and it is not yet in fruition. And it does right all the wrongs of which we are very well aware of, and either we can stop and wait for it to show up, or we walk in obedience until the thing comes to reality. And so, like, that's the macro story for every Christian in the world.

And now shrink it down to whatever your thing is where you're like, god was going to redeem this, or god, I need you to answer this thing. And I still gotta make up wake up tomorrow and bake eggs and, you know, interact with these people and blah blah blah. And sometimes it's hard because the thing that again, the thing is important. I think It's righteously important. I think that the hard I I honestly, what I think it boils down to is, like, if you still care about it and you still care about the person or the situation or the thing that you need God to be involved with, it hurts too much to continue to not be apathetic to it, which is why we try to do that. Right? Like,

what would be easiest for you and less burdensome is if you didn't care about it. And so sometimes we go that route. We're like, it's just gonna be what it's gonna be. You know? And you're like, I'm out. There's nothing I can do. God's gonna handle this. And, like, that sounds half faithful too. But, like, it's okay if it it's okay if it weighs something. Right? It's also okay to take that weight and throw it back on your creator and go, god, this is heavy. And I I wasn't built to carry that. And I'm pretty sure you know that. And so I have to like, it's an exercise in faith to keep throwing it back to him every day and going, I can't carry this, but I also am still breathing on your good world. Help me figure out what today looks like without letting this entire thing eclipse

all of my being because I wasn't created for that. This is your weight to carry. And, like, that sounds like you're bailing completely, but what you're actually doing is exercising your faith. And that's what it looks like to trust a god. Mhmm. Mhmm. And so, anyway, I just know I just know that there's enough big things that people are like, I'm waiting god for god to do this. Redeem. I'm waiting for him to open eyes. I'm waiting for him to heal.

And all these things are like, they are heavy. And I don't think anybody's saying, yeah, just set it down and smile and skip off to work. That's outrageous. No one's saying these things. You know? But I I think it's it's it's too much. Right? It's too much to be like, this is the the hinge point of which when God is faithful in this way, my life can get back to where it used to be. It's already not that. Right? It's not a it's not a diversion.

It's not a detour. It's you made a left turn. And so let's take the left turn. God is still faithful in the left. Yeah. So so I mean, to sum it up for for like a bumper sticker, it would be something to the extent of, instead of, waiting

while God is working, just be walking while God is working. Like, just keep moving. Keep trying to live the life, like, whatever life it is that you have and whatever barriers that you have and whatever things that are going on around you, like, you can only there's a finite amount of things you can walk faithfully in while God is doing what he's doing. But, like, it's almost certain that his intent is not for whatever you're doing to just stop, until he answers or until he makes a move. Yeah. Because plenty of plenty of things, which may even contribute to how God ultimately resolves it, happen while you're still walking in faithfulness while you while we pen for his timing to otherwise resolve. This one's a hard word too. You know what I'm saying? Like, I hear you. Especially if you got sensitive ears right now and you're like, you're talking about me and you don't like, I get I I I do kinda understand where you're coming from, and I think I do kinda under and I kinda get it.

And I know it's hard to hear. Yeah. Like, you're like, I don't think you really understand the full weight of what I'm going through. And I think that's true. I probably don't from your perspective at all, but I know the alternative to what we just said is is not good. That that does not produce any of the things that will actually help you in the time of which you're struggling. Yeah. Alright. You're listening to life from the path. We're gonna do one more thing, and then we'll get you some advice. And I was I was gonna talk about this, but I think maybe I'll just see if you guys have any quick reactions, and we can move on. This we I was

last Sunday was Easter Sunday, and I I felt I was taking a shower in the morning, and I had not otherwise planned it. Like, we did, like, a liturgy that I had drafted, which is just, a combination of scripture and then tunes that we perform. The the yeah. Whatever. It's just something like everyone can participate in Easter. Otherwise, you're just gonna sit and listen to me talk again, which we normally do. And so, anyway, we're gonna do that, and everybody likes it because it goes fast.

And everyone gets out of there on time. And Mike was gonna do, I think, a tune. Yeah. And then we were gonna call a day. And, like, I just I was taking a shower, and, like, it just kept hanging on me. Like, we we we we don't understand grace correctly. But it was more specific. It was more to, like, like, relationships. It it it ran up to how we think about ourselves and God, but it was expressing itself in the way that we interact with our key relationship with, like, spouses, friends, children,

parents, that kind of thing. And I'm pretty sure that, like, the it came from, there was a there was a Facebook clip of of Mark Driscoll, and he had said, like, I don't know, within the last few weeks. And the thing he had said was, before you fall out of love, you fall out of grace. And I wasn't like that. I don't remember what else was going on, but that particular thing stuck with me. And so, the reason I'm sharing it now though is it just felt so, it felt so relevant to if you think about, you know, key relationships that you have, like, before you would ever say, hey. I'm I'm I'm you you probably wouldn't ever come to the terms and go, hey, spouse. I don't love you. But, like, you give up on how gracious you are with them much, much quicker.

Like, it's a very low barrier. And think of it like spouses are the hardest because you're used to their behavior. They act how they act, and they probably have been acting that way for years. And so your patience for that, your grace to overlook it, your grace to be able to go, not only do I forgive that, but I'm I'm going to help reconcile their problem, not just make sure that they understand that I'm pissed about it. Like, we just it's so easy to lose because it's so hard to actually continue with. And think same thing with your kids or kids to parents. Like, yeah. My dad's always like that. Or, the other kids are this is the tenth time, and they never seem to learn and blah blah blah. And it's like, I'm not I'm not asking you just, like, whitewash over all the things that might, you know, need to improve in some of these relationships. But I am saying

that your heart about it, it needs to be the 70 times seven type of heart. Needs to be the God looks at me and of all the things that, like, maybe I'm I'm irritated because my kids have, for the fiftieth time, not done something that we've set clear expectations on, and my heart's getting a little mad about it. And then I think, well, God is in that same situation with me, and he seems to be handling this very gracefully.

Like, he still seems to love me and is not, like, trying to throw me over the coals. In fact, fact, he keeps continuing to provide a helper to try to help me get it right as opposed to just going, Ben, I want you to know how wrong you have it. Now fix it right now. He's like, yeah. I I mean, I'm gonna do that, but I'm gonna send the helper because I genuinely want you to get to the place where the things that you're doing align. And so, I just I thought of that on it was just hitting me on how many times have I been ungracious with my wife because, oh, there she goes again, doing the thing that I makes me irritated. And it's not it's not that you can't notice it just like God always notices. He's gonna notice you falling short. It's just his heart positioning

towards it, towards you in those behaviors is so kind and so gracious. And sometimes I feel like I I I realized personally, and I felt like this maybe had some relevance to everyone, is that I have lowered the bar of what it means to extend grace

to my wife and to my kids and to my friends probably in that I, I was go like, I was measuring it by hold my tongue or I didn't I didn't bail from the situation. Like, I refused refused to take a phone call or said, look, I'm not gonna listen to this anymore and whatever. I don't really do that. But, like, as opposed to that, not only staying in those situations and not only just, like, holding back a little bit of what I might say, but genuinely

extending grace to this person and thinking of them in a gracious way and not like spending all my time on here's how you let me down, but actively helping them to get to a point of reconciliation, that thing. That is a much higher bar, much higher bar. And I'm feel like I'm not doing a great job on that. And I think it's because I had I had not considered the standard

of of the grace that I've been extended to Jesus. I get it. I do. I I understand that part. But his attitude towards that, like, which is baked into his grace towards me, I had, I think, not spent too much time reconciling what that means to how I have to think or should be thinking about people around me. And so, anyway, I just was gonna share that. It stuck with me, and, it doesn't mean that you're on your way to getting a divorce or, like, not talking to your kids again. But I will just say that, like, your standard of if it's like, I extended grace by holding my tongue. I'm sorry, sir. Yeah. It's not what we were after, actually. Like, we need not the negative thing. We need the positive thing. K? So times negative one, head in the other direction.

Not only do you not get to just not hold your tongue, you're gonna say something kind. And you're gonna be gracious toward how you think about them. And if it's happened for the tenth time, you're gonna go, they must be really struggling. How can I help them get that thing reconciled because I love them and I want to see a change in them? I'm not gonna overlook it, but, like, that's my attitude towards it. Not just, I'm not gonna say anything there. See, I was gracious. I guess it's not we've cut the word out a little bit, and I have. I have. Or at least it's not sticking with me. So anyway, I was just gonna share that in case that's helpful to anybody. It was it was necessary for me. Yeah. And I think that attitude of grace actually does not sometimes we we associate grace

and kindness with not saying a hard thing. Mhmm. And that's not true. Right? Like, you still can say true things that might be hard to hear out of an attitude of grace and kindness. So, like, it doesn't abdicate you some responsibility or even some authority,

honestly, about some of the realities. And, like, I suppose they take it how they're gonna take it, but like you you can it's your heart posture is the the issue that that we need to address. Right? Yeah. The hard thing you're saying is is still coming from an attitude of reconciliation. When most of the time our attitudes are like we just feel burned. Somebody burned me. Someone ignored my preference. They ignored my word. They they caused me some sort of grief or whatever. And I want it known. I want it to be clear. Especially marriages so hard. It's like, I want you to know you've inconvenienced me. I want you to know that I'm frustrated because this is something that we had agreed to, and you let me down. And, basically,

a lot of our attitude is reflected our priority as that people know how much I am put out by whatever the situation was. That's not the heart of grace. The same behavior still needs reconciled. I'm just like, the gracious gracious attitude like, God doesn't do that to me. He doesn't go, Ben, I need you to know how put out I am by your shortcoming. He makes me aware of it. I still need to change it, but his attitude is one that extends it to me and tries to help me and and provides help and moves me into fixing the situation

to the best I can. But it doesn't it doesn't have to be self justified, and that's where a lot of our stuff is. Like, you notice parents, you'll notice this. I didn't raise you to be this way. This is not about you. Why are you saying this thing? Like, you made something about you just now. Yeah. And, like, hey. You know, you put you just use you I I know why you're doing it because you're trying to help your kids contextualize it. Like, your behavior matters. It hits other people. That's even that's not wrong. I understand that too. But I'm just telling you that you regardless of the words you're using, your heart isn't actually out for, like, reconciliation, and you're thinking about them. You're thinking about you, and you want people to understand how mad you are. And, like, that's still it's a great it's total human behavior. It just isn't gracious behavior. Like, it's the attitude is so hard to get to, but, like, it's just a much higher bar. And I think if you if you realize how hard it is for you to do in your human relationships,

then you become much more thankful of what it means for God to react the way he does to you. And I think we know that. I don't think most Christians will be able to go, yes. Yes. Yes. I should be gracious to other people. God forgives me, so I forgive them. I just but you've you've made it an exchange of, like, I don't know, a words or something or or a ledger in your mind, and you've completely removed the attitude or the posturing around what it is to be gracious. God Jesus not only gives it, but he sacrifices to make it happen. I well, you're not doing that often. And so, anyway, that was it's just it's hard. That's if that doesn't hit you hard, I think you're not understanding it. But, anyway, extend the extend the grace, and it's it's an attitude issue. Alrighty. Yeah. Let's do it. Dear life from the path, I have a 16

old who has recently learned to walk. My mom was watching him one day a week while I worked part time, but she ultimately decided it was too much stress on her back and said she could no longer lift him. Lately, she has been telling me I need to, quote, train him to do certain things in order for her to watch him without lifting him. For example, climb into his own car seat. Life from the path, he's too young to consistently do anything like that. It's no longer possible for her to put him in his car seat, lift him to put him in his crib, high chair, etcetera. She's being very pushy about me finding alternative ways to do things that ultimately will make more work for me. I think it would be safer and easier to pay an able-bodied caregiver. Talking to her about this has become stressful because she calls me, quotes, crazy for thinking this is a safety concern.

If we're at the park and he does something unsafe, I pick him up and remove him because he is not yet a reliable listener. How do I discuss this with her in a kind but firm way, and is my concern valid? I What am I I'm missing something. Like, just get someone else to watch the kid for another, I don't know, for the next six months or whatever till he can mostly I mean, there's always gonna be a risk that for so a kid needs to be pulled out of a situation and you're not capable of doing it. And maybe you wanna roll the dice on that in about a year. But, I mean, doesn't that seem super easy to go just have someone else watch them for a while?

Yeah. This is the weird part is it sounds like they're in agreement. Yeah. Like Yeah. Old me moss said, hey. My back can't handle this no more. But but you gotta make it work. Yeah. But, like, you if that kid can climb into his own car seat, then we might have it. And then she's like, hey. I need people to be able to pick the kid up. Sounds like we're in agreement. You're not the right person to do it. But the mom calls her crazy for thinking this is a safety concern. There's there's weirdness in here somewhere. Something's not making any sense. Yeah. Also, you work a part time job one day a week? I mean, how big is this linchpin? You know? Okay. Yeah. So this feels relatively straightforward. Like, you're gonna you're gonna need to find someone else to watch these kids.

Do you think the mom's like, I I just wanna spend time with him, but I can't be the sole caregiver of this of this monster. He I can't pick stuff up. Yeah. I mean, that's you know, she can't help that. Seems pretty reasonable. Yeah. Physical limitations. Yeah. I mean, it is a health issue. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I doesn't it feel doesn't it feel like the person writing the letter is taking advantage of her mom? And does it, like, doesn't wanna not like

like, does I guess, I can't tell. It's hard to tell whether she's like, hey. Does my mom actually even have these problems? Or No. I don't feel that. Okay. So to your point, if they just agree, then, like, what is the what was the what was the final question? Feels like she still wants to spend time with the kid. Yeah. But she's unwilling to admit that her inability to pick him up could be a problem. Right? She's like, really, our only obstacles are getting in the car seat, getting out. And then the mom's like, that ain't the only obstacles. Everybody's getting getting all kinds of stuff. You know? Okay. And so I think the it sounds to me like the mom is like, she knows that she can't do it, but she doesn't like,

you know, the fact that she's too weak to do it. Like, she's the cause of why this isn't gonna work out. Mhmm. And then so so now she's just reframing history a little bit as if this is not gonna be a deal. And if the car seat problem was handled, then obviously all would be well, and that's that's not true. Yeah. Okay. So alright. So I think the advice then is, one, you need to find someone else to watch your kid half a day, one day a week or something. But second of all, like, assume sounds like mom could probably still drive. Like, come on over and visit, mom. We'll hang out with the baby. Yeah. I'll be here. Re like, you can even, you know, read in the read in the other room or something, like, if they wanna hang out to you. As long as someone's around to help pick a kid up in case there's some kind of trouble. Yeah. I think when your kid crosses maybe seven or eight are the times when, like, you're done kinda picking them up and yanking them out of something. You know? Like, by the time they're about that age, you're like, hey. Get out of there. You know? Yeah. Or there they go. You know, they just watered outside. But, like, up until that age I mean, this is why people don't sleep and why having toddlers in the house and why we have those plastic things we put in outlets.

You're like, you never know what this wild man gonna do. You know? And you can't keep an eye on him every single microsecond, so you do a little safety around the house to keep him out of trouble. But odds are you're gonna have to run and grab him. Yeah. And so, yeah, it's straight foolish to believe that there's any situation of which she should probably be left alone as the sole caregiver apart from maybe he's already in a nap or something. Alright. Okay. The question was though, how do I discuss this with her in a kind but firm way? And is my concern valid? We agree the concern's valid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. This it doesn't seem all that difficult. Be like, my, I I agree. Yeah. You know? You can't pick him up. I do think for until he's able to to do this on his own in a reliable manner where he's also making good choices,

you know, if he can make a bad choice and someone still could have to yank him out and you can't do it, like, I would never wanna put you in that position. And so this this is where this is actually the crux of the letter is the the gal who wrote in says, talking to her about this has become stressful because she calls me crazy for thinking this is a safety concern. So I think the mama the grandma is in just a little bit of a denial on her age and abilities and Well, but if it wasn't a safety concern oh oh, I I see what you but you you you said that she's just limited to, like, the car seat situation. Like, she's not thinking She's framing it as if the car seat's the problem. Yeah. Okay. The mom is like, it's it's all the problem. Yeah. Okay. I mean, whatever. Maybe her mom is just, like, manipulative. I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do to make sure your kid's taken care of. I think I would say, mom, I just we disagree on this. And, like, if I'm wrong, it sets everybody up for bad. The kid's in rough shape. It would make you feel guilty if something ever happened. And so, like, maybe I'm overreacting, but that this is my this is what I'm gonna do. K. That's what I would say. Yeah.

I mean. Secular says, you are not crazy. Of course, your concerns are valid. Your son is years away from being able to do what your mother is suggesting. End those discussions. She needs to be told kindly but firmly that you know she loves her grandson, but he needs more hands on care than she is able to give him, which is why you are hiring someone to do it. Yeah. Okay.

That's pretty straightforward. Yep. Mhmm. Yep. Agreed. Okay. Last one. Dear life from the pails. My husband and I finally got custody of his daughter, Amelia, fifteen days before her sixteenth birthday. Woah. She came to us with homeschooling and little socialization.

Now she's 18, and we've gotten her on track to graduate, but she has completely changed. She plans to move in with her boyfriend and is skipping school. My husband feels we can't get on her case about it since we've only had her for two years. We've had three boys who have graduated and two girls who haven't yet. We made the boys, his stepsons, go to school every day and live at home until they graduated. We will do the same with our younger girls. Life from the path, why is he scared for me to tell Amelia that she can't move out until after graduation, especially not with her boyfriend or get on her about missing school all the time? Yeah. He's he's worried about protecting the relationship,

but he's going about it in the wrong way. First of all, you said she's 18. Right? Yes. Yeah. I mean, could she can leave now if she wants to. Yeah. I I get we talked about this, I wanna say, a week or two ago. Like, you just you gotta realize where you don't have any control. We're actually thinking we're this is this is going to happen at my place, and I think it's gonna be a little bit messy. And that, like, I have an 18 year old who is is not gonna move out, but she's we homeschool. She's gonna be done schooling under under our direction

and, is gonna have a job in this type of thing. And, like, we've got all the things that you would think as a parent. Like, I've got monitoring services on her phone, and, there's just and her time, like, hey. I care how how much she spends and you can't use her cell phone in the living room and watch movies all night and all kinds of things where you're like, hey. As a parent, these these were our limits. And, like, I'm not sure all those continue to qualify just because you're living under a roof. Like, they could, but, like, I you know, when we're you were responsible for your schooling and some other things, then they made sense to me. I think there's a point regardless of whether I think she's gonna be wise with it that I'm not sure it makes sense for us to continue to monitor or try to restrict, and we we're more in the encouragement role. Like, I hope we can influence her to making good decisions, but we're we gotta get out of the bucket of which we can force them because, like, that doesn't help her transition to a life in which she has to, you know, end up actually making her own decisions. And so

I think this this cat here is worried that if he over because she could bail, that if you over pressure on school and, these other things that she might just go, you know, give you the right couple of fingers and then head on out the door, and he doesn't wanna force that. That but that's too shortsighted. Like, if you're being over if you're being over, aggressive on some of these things, then you need to back off. But if the thing that you're doing is for her protection or it's wise or it's good parenting, then you should do that anyway.

And just know that, like, sometimes people make bad choices in reaction to that thing, and, like, I hope that she doesn't. But, like, you can't control it. And so what you can't do is, like, completely tiptoe around people and hope not to offend or make your kids mad at you by parenting them, lest they make a a bad decision. I know it like, I and it comes from totally the right types of places, but I it will not end up well. And so I I would say, but that but that's why. It's it's it's he's not because he's being a real sissy. He just cares about the relationship. He's worried that if you press too hard, that she will make a bad decision. And, you should you should, you should be thoughtful about that. That's not the same thing as a guy being a real wiener and who doesn't wanna do discipline children. Like, it it comes from a different position, be my guess. And so just be careful,

but I think he is still approaching it wrong. I think you make sure your boundaries are reasonable and set them and go ahead and continue to hold them. Yeah. I'm kinda wondering what has happened that they got custody at 16, and she was in a homeschool situation. So that would imply to me that it's a family that was caring for her and engaged in her life, and now suddenly she's with them and then her life like, the wheels have fallen off. Yeah. And they're trying to figure out what to do or how to keep them on.

Gosh. That's a hard This would it would make sense. Like, that explanation would be very helpful. Only Claire, I've seen homeschool both ways. Right? I've seen homeschool with very involved, very attentive parents, and I've seen homeschools where they're like, hey. I just don't our kids causing too much trouble. We gotta homeschool. Yeah. Yeah. Right. It's almost like this kid got denim sprung. You know? Like, they went out on, like, sprung out where they they got involved in all the things they never saw before, and they just embraced the lifestyle. Yeah. I mean, they're flat out, like, some of the things, like, Ben saying, like, part

of part of growing and figuring out how to be adult is screwing some stuff up. And, like, what you're hoping for is it's not super permanent things or, you know, like, a completely crazy life altering things. And so, I mean, it's pretty classic that, you know, your kid's gonna get in a relationship that you're like, I hate this. I hate everything about this. This is not good for you. These are not good decisions. You know? And like, it's it's usually not forever.

It's use that's usually not the path. But like you offer like Ben says, like, your house is consistent. It's you know what I'm saying? Like, this is the way that we act here. You know? And, like, I I I know that there's a certain extent where you're like, hey. You know, these are the rules under my roof and you're gonna follow them. These are the rules under my roof for people who are of school age or were training to be adults. Right? But once you get there, the rules change for the adults in the house. Right? And so maybe you get the phone or whatever, maybe you can watch movies all night. You're the one that's gotta pay the consequence and get up 06:30 and, do responsible adult things. And so, like, some of them is some of that stuff is letting them fail. And, like, I I agree. Like, the skipping school part, that's problem. You're gonna have to address that. She chooses to move out and live with her boyfriend and fail out of school. I you know, I'm not I'm not a 100% what you think that you're gonna do about it. You could probably cut, like, funding out of her life if you're if you're paying for, like, gas and insurance and occasional fun time food because they're going to school. You know, that's a privilege of living at your house and comes with your protection and love.

So, I mean, you pull that stuff if you want to. It's just a not out of anger or spite, but just like, hey, man. That's kind of the deal. You're here. You're I know that you're restricted because of some of my rules. We're gonna take care of these things on your behalf because you're doing these things. You know? But, like, as soon as that's no longer the deal, you can be like, you know, I'm not gonna pay you gas money to do whatever the heck you're I don't even what you're doing. You know? And so I I think there's a there's a reasonable approach here that goes, you're a little bit too you can't control everything. You just can't control anything. And that doesn't come out to be apathy, but it does also mean that, like, you might be thinking too highly of yourself. Kids will do this. Almost every generation that I know that even with a good solid family, there's a couple eggs in there that just cut their own trail. You know? And you're like, what are you doing? You that's not even how it was mirrored to you growing up. And you're acting like a complete fool. And you're like, what did they do wrong? I mean, sometimes

people gotta cut their own trail and and hurt themselves in the midst of it. And the hard part is to watch it, but the loving thing to do is to maintain a relationship without changing any of the consistency that you're actually calling them back to. And so that's that'll be hard to do. But I think as long as they're still living under your house and, like, I assume there's still she's still eating your food. She's probably driving a car you bought her, all the stuff. Right? And so, like, you can be like, listen. These are privileges for being a daughter or son of the king. And if you're gonna, like, disrupt the kingdom or try to change the kingdom or give the kingdom the finger, the kingdom no longer provides rural vehicles.

That's just regular. You know? Alright. Sorry. Segular says, your husband may fear that Emilia is too headstrong to be reasoned with and worry that if he asserts himself, his daughter will become estranged. You described yourself as, quote, stern stepmom. If the way you demonstrate that is by insisting your husband's children to graduate with a basic education,

I consider it heavy handed. Oh, I don't consider it heavy handed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. However, if there's more to it, Amelia may be moving out to get away from you. Perhaps a different approach might be more effective. Amelia is old enough to be talked with woman to woman. If you can impress upon her that you and her father care only about her welfare, that the decision she is making now will affect her entire future, perhaps she will be more open to hearing your message. The fact that she's moving out is less important than than failing to complete her education and get the high school diploma. Let that be your focus when you and her dad speak to her. Yeah. Yeah. I I yeah. Here's the that that feels a little disconnected to me from being around

teenagers. But, like, overall, like, you can have a woman to woman or man to man talk with a 17 year old. And I think you should do it because it's the right thing to do, but I would not expect that it would revolutionize the world. I think that your consistent behavior gives them a foundation to fall back to with figuring it out on their own. Yeah. Totally. Like, this is why, like, how you approach some of these things is super important. Is that, like,

you know you know, people when people start to, I don't know, act outside of nor like, the good boundaries, they're gonna notice it because, like, they're gonna realize that, like, they're gonna see it in themselves that they're the ones doing it because you're stable. If you follow them out there, their boundary seems reasonable to have gotten out that far because look how much you're overreacting, and now you got two people running outside of boundaries. But, like, if you would just say, if you're predictable, your stock's solid, you like, your decision making is like, they could have guessed it before it even happened. I I think it gives them then they realize that they're the ones changing, and they have to reckon with that. And, like, they're gonna be doing all kinds of reckoning with whether they're changing correctly or not and how they're being influenced or whatever. And sometimes, to your point, in the right direction, sometimes in the wrong direction. But like you just cannot force things. And like the the more that you will try to over crank on it, like they will rebel against that. It's built in them to not, you know, to to go out and do things on their own. I don't think God put it in them. And so the more you can't try to live your life vicariously through them. You can try to help your best to to get them to make right decisions and,

influence them and use the tools at your disposal to do so. But, I I would just make sure that, like, she's not, that this kid is not rebelling against places at which you are being unnecessarily heavy handed. I I just I would I would double I would triple check yourself because, like, everything sounds reasonable until you, like but if you said, does this make sense for a 17 year old? Does this make sense for an 18 year old? How long does this make sense? Like, if this is still going on, if this kid lived at your house when they were 21, would you still be, like and then why are you drawing the barriers that you're drawing? It's a helpful exercise, and you should really think through that just to make sure you're not pouring you're not pouring oil on a fire. Yeah. I think I think that's the hardest part, like, especially as your kids get a little bit older is, like, people learn lessons by failing. Right? If your kids still own no alarm clock because you wake them up every morning and they're 17.5,

you know, be like, hey, man, I'll get you an alarm clock, but you have to start getting yourself up in the morning. Right. Right. Like, we learn how to do this. You know? Like, if they forget to pack a lunch and you're still running one up to the school, right, you're not doing her any favors. You're like, you're gonna be hungry today. Let that ride. You know? Yeah. There there were times my daughters would forget a a band instrument or something or a piece piece some homework, important homework, and I have a flexible enough schedule. Would run it up there, but I kept thinking, man, at what point do I just say, nope. Right?

It's and it's hard because, like, here's the thing. I don't want my kids to learn the lesson that dad won't be there to help when they need it. Because they put work into it. I mean, it wasn't like they were just there. Whatever. You know, it was like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, you you gotta pick and choose your battle. It's the same thing and, like, this is way too much of rabbit hole, we won't spend a bunch of time on it. But, like, I mean, I didn't let I I didn't let our kids cry it out because, like, I don't want them to learn the less lesson that I won't come when they need me. I want them to know I will come when they need me. So, like, I don't wanna learn the wrong thing. Right. But to Mike's point, like, I also do will not have the ability and do not want to come wake them up every morning if I can avoid it. Definitely. And so you're not helping them by not allowing them to to learn that responsibility. I mean, some of that actually goes back to our other conversation of of wishy washy behavior is, like, a lot of them folks, like like, the consequences

never quite fully landed on them. Mhmm. Yeah. And so they're like, you know, like, they never quite had to feel the full brunt of some of the things they did because it got absorbed by everybody around them. And so, like, they they they're running on a different scale. You know? And until they had to feel that comp that that a little bit, then they're like, actually, I personally have to do something different here. Yeah. Because, like, I can't continue to do this. You know what's funny? So I I actually have a relevant example at my house right now. Is that like, my wife and I were talking a few weeks ago and I I I had done something that she was not very happy with. But like part of the the conversation that came out, she was like, hey, there's been laundry that's been sitting here for four days, the same load. And, like, I mean, I'll be I'll be honest, Fails. I did not know that. And I live in the house. I walk by the laundry. Laundry's in our bathroom. And, like, realistically, it's not that I looked at it and go, I'm not gonna do that. I literally just had it did not occur to me. And so I remember after that conversation that, like, we did not actually resolve the key thing that she was not happy with me about. I think we're actually still at odds on that one, but I thought, that that laundry thing, I can do that. There's just no reason for this type of thing. And so, like, she's not touched a little laundry at our house for two and a half weeks.

I got us caught up. I keep us caught up. But, like, the one of the thing that's the problem though is that, like, I've been going and getting the kids laundry. Because, like, the problem is if you let it go, everybody in the house has their own, like, basket, and then everyone gets it full at the same time. And so we go from no laundry to all the laundry. I said, is this is dumb. We're not gonna do that. And so I've been, like, I'll I'll be upstairs and I'll just grab one of the laundry baskets. It's got half a load in it, another one with half a load, and like, thing runs like a top. It's going great. Yeah. And but she said, she's like, hey, you're not teaching the girls right. Like, gotta remember to bring their own laundry down. Like, we're not preparing them for life if they're not bringing their own laundry down. And this is the place where I'm like, here's the thing. If I didn't wanna do this laundry, yeah, totally. I want them to do their laundry, they should do it. But are you telling me, like, realistically, if I kept this behavior up, they get two years down the road, they go to college, they go one weekend where they have dirty laundry, and they're and what's gonna happen? Oh, I have no idea. I must call dad and he will drive hours. No. They'll go, crap. And they'll put the stuff in the laundry Yep. And they'll put the soap in and they'll wash it themselves. I'm not worried at all that they're not going to have this skill. And frankly, at the moment, it makes more practical sense to me to just do the laundry and keep it moving and have it not pile up and have other people not worry about it. Yeah. And so I so that was the thing where, like, it's pretty standard for households to go, like, yeah. We gotta gotta teach the kids responsibility by having them do their own laundry.

I don't know. I'm not sure on that. Now, having them cook their own meals, well, yeah, because, like, that's actually kind of an acquired skill. Like, you don't just show up and know how to cook meals. And so I think you that takes time. But, like, the laundry, I don't care about that laundry at all. I think it's perfectly fine. So, anyway, just a current example. My kids been doing their own laundry since they were 10. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They rock it. Nope. But but we don't do it. We're terrible. It's it's a parenting problem because all the kids do it. All the kids have this problem. Right? So, like, we failed them for sure in some way or another. I just don't know that trying to force something right now actually solves my like, it's more important to me that the things are just moving. They they can lean that that one pretty quick. Right. They're gonna pick it up, and so I don't care. You do have to watch them, though. That tall one I got, she'll stuff that washer like a concrete mixer. I mean, I don't know. You couldn't get a fart in there. There's so many clothes, and it comes out as this big amalgamy blob.

You know that's not right? Well, it's well, the here's the problem. Like, the main issue is that we're also not very good or consistent at our laundry. And so by the time, you know, kids are gonna go do their own laundry, they're having to chuck someone else's laundry out or, like, mine's half washed and it's wet and it's holding the place up. And so, if I were better, if we did a better job as parents, then the kids would probably do a better job. Yeah. See, you need to this is it's a game at my house. Because if I leave my stuff in the washer and it's blocking somebody, they will literally just take it out and put it on the floor. They're like, hey, man. You watered your laundry through, you had your time, and you wasted it, sir. So then I gotta rewash my stuff because they smell like stink. And I'm like, well, fairly done. I I should have gotten my stuff out. Yep. Yep. Yep. I get and here's the thing. I'm not against that. Don't think it's a bad thing to teach your kids. I just like, from a logical perspective, I'm not worried about it. Yeah. Yeah. You're listening to Live for Path. Real quick, Justice Horsey, before the show ends, we did get a submission on the Live for the Path complaint line last week. We were talking about the advice we would give to the housekeeper. Like, what is the gift that you give Oh, yeah. To the housekeeper? And the suggestion on the complaint line

was, I think that this housekeeper deserves something that really commemorates the relationship between these two, not something that will wilt away like flowers and not something too romantic like jewelry. Oh, stop it. If this housekeeper has been housekeeping for thirty years, he she must be busy all the time. Because when you think about it, housekeeping is a busy job that keeps you up to all hours of the night doing laundry and all sorts of things. So he, she would probably love a vacation. Right? A beautiful trip to maybe The Bahamas or Italy where they can relax and really enjoy their time. They can sit on the beach and revisit all the good memories they had when working for you, and they can do this instead of sitting at home feeling awkward because their boss got them jewelry or feeling underappreciated because their boss got them flowers. Also, vacations are expensive, so to pay for one really shows how much you care for a person.

I mean, that feels well rounded, actually. I it wasn't jewelry isn't always romantic. I don't know. Would you get another man's ring? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. How many have you done?

I bought zero rings so far. Yeah. That's That's that's what I thought. I'm thinking if you're a house cleaner well, I guess you can't have life outside house cleaning, but it's not like you have a lot of opportunity to wear fine jewelry. Yeah. I mean, I guess, don't know. Know? Guys, you're way overselling this fine I mean, it's we didn't order it from the Tiffany's. You know what I'm saying? Like, this is just a a cheap bobble. Ah, crap. Alright. I don't know. What do you think of this vacation idea? Hit us up on the live from the Bath complaint line. (515) 517-0085. Call or text. Complaint line comments based on other complaint line comments? Yeah. Let us like, I don't know. Are we satisfied that this vacation really nailed it? Or was it to the Lake Of The Ozarks? I mean, did that do to Italy? Yeah. I agree. Italy might be a bit much. I agree with Dan. Just keep Domestic domestic travel. Yeah. Branson. That's alright.

Okay. Alright. We're gonna cut you loose. Thanks for hanging out with us on live from the path. I think we'll be around next week. And, hey, we do have some musical guests coming up. We're gonna get Air Nail and and Dirk Von Stein are doing a show together. And I said, whiz bang, fellas. Why you come on in? So they're gonna be here sometime in the beginning of May. It's gonna be great. Okay. So we'll I don't know. We'll see you when we see you in the meantime. Be faithful in the means. God will handle the end. You've been listening to Live From The Path.