Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live from the Path.

Alright. You're listening to life in the path. Thanks for hanging out with us. This team my fellows are riled up in here. They're like, they're coming to fist to cuss before the show begins. Dude, it was almost hugs. Hugs to fist to cuss. Good night. Hey. I'm I'm making a promise right here. I'm not gonna fall asleep tonight. Yeah. I don't know about that, Dan. You were pretty out last night. Week was bad. Yeah. I didn't sleep the night before, and that was this showed. Okay. Okay. I don't remember any of it. Promises. Promises. Alright. The fellas did not have a bunch of stuff on the docket today, so I'm gonna maybe it'll be a short night. Maybe we'll give some advice. It's not about are you gonna do political things? No. No. Okay. Here's the question. And this is gonna show my some level of of insecurity on my part. Uh-oh. Okay. The insecurity

is is it is it wrong that that I don't feel like singing singing Jesus tunes whenever they pop up? Oh. Like

Give me an example. So Sounds stupid. Like, I guess I guess is it is it to be expected is it to be expected that a person of Jesus in any situation, if you were to walk into somebody's house or some

dinner or something going on or whatever and they go, hey. First of all, I prepared a couple tunes for us all to sing together. And for me to like, it should should is it wrong for me not to be excited? Okay.

Hold on. Let's be let's let's narrow it down. Let's say it's not just a random dude's house that you're going to to have dinner at. Let's sing. Let's say that you're in an event held in a church. Well, maybe. No. Okay. Fine. Like, yes.

You could you could do that. Well, I guess the the question is, I've I've found no. Actually, I've got I have gone to somebody's house. This is this has occurred. I prepared a selection for us to sing together. They were singing. Or there are like I've just like, there have been places where it didn't feel like

I don't know. Like, I wasn't I I it sounds like there has to be a moment for it. Like, I also I found this actually we kinda touched on this a little bit on prayer. I want to say like, I don't know, a couple months back, where like there's

just occasions, and this happened recently, where someone was praying and they're just like saying things and like, they're things I agree with, but I'm like, Okay. Yeah. Like Yeah. But but like, I'm not I'm having a hard time getting invested, like, emotionally in it. And the the question became is all like and I'm open that's like, why not?

Why like, am I is there something where like, why why don't I like, anytime someone wants to say something that is in praise of the holy God, why do I not just leap at it? But I don't just leap at it. And I thought, like, I don't know. Is there something wrong is there something wrong with how I'm thinking about and approaching it? Or is it is it not to be expected that you would just are jazzed about it every time it shows up? Yeah. I I I don't. I mean, I I I don't necessarily every moment. If I I could be driving down the street and a song comes on, I won't sing with it in the car, or I don't so there are times on Sundays, I I'm not singing necessarily Yeah. Partly to save my voice if I'm doing multiple services. You know? I'm like I only got so many so much voice these days. Right? Yeah.

But sometimes I'm just I'm just kinda soaking it in as opposed to singing it out. I don't know. I mean okay. Okay. I need to separate a couple of things. I don't remember having this conversation about prayer. I find this way easier to get on board with for prayer mostly because, like, sometimes people will be praying, and I'm like, I don't know. It's just not where I'm at right now. You know what I'm saying? Like Yeah. Or, like, people pray on the radio or something. I'm like, I ain't doing that. You know what I'm saying? Like, I ain't gonna I ain't gonna just pray because someone else at the studio is doing it. Or, like, I I really, really, really, really hate prayer circles. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, where people just get in a big old circle, and then they're like, okay. I'll start, and then I'll be the one that finishes. You know? Yeah. Do. And they just kinda wait awkwardly long months time for people to pick it up. And I'm like, I hate this. Like, because it feels like you're like, we're just waiting for the spirit to move. And really, everybody's literally thinking the same thing. Well, have I let enough time pass before I talk? I wanna give someone else a chance. Maybe I'll wait it out. Have you ever been in a good one where, like, you felt like, hey, wow. That was great? Nope. Yeah. No. It has. Not not a ton, but I had the time. Yeah. They're a rare find. You know what I'm saying? Like, I and it's I've I've been a part of one where they're small. They're, like, four people. Uh-huh. Yeah. And then and, like, everyone's like, we're everyone's gonna pray. And then it's just kinda certain. But, like, when there gets to be a group of 18 or 20 of them,

especially when we're praying for something heavy, like we're praying for healing for somebody or, like Yeah. There's a big thing coming up and we all need to get in on it. Like, just it just drags on for, an hour and a half. And, like, I'm literally bored to tears. And I'm like, I just start praying on my own. Like, Lord, I really wanna be involved in this, but I can't take this anymore. I don't know what's going on. You know? And so like prayer, I definitely see this. Yeah. As far as the worship tunes go, like, I mean, can it just have a catchy melody and then you sing it a little bit? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. And like, I'm not opposed to it. I just like but I'm not I'm not connecting with it. Kinda kinda like the prayer thing. Like, we've been to some

I mean, this tend to be like homeschool type of sporting events Oh, yeah. Where they're doing this kind of thing. But, you know, like Corn chucking. They're Someone brought the bases from home. They're they're going to it's that kind of thing where someone's like, hey. We're gonna play a let's all get in on this worship tune or something prior to a thing. I'm like, I don't okay. Like, why? I and it it seems so there there's a part of me that goes like, you're gonna are we gonna sing in for heaven forever? And so, like, shouldn't I just get used to the tunes firing up all the time? But, like, I'm not connecting with this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Are saying it feels obligatory? Like, they just figured because a bunch of Jesus people got together, we should fire up a tune. Yeah. And and and I think and the question is is it like you wouldn't

you wouldn't know the difference. I don't like if it's helpful or good or connecting or not. Because just like the prayer, if you go in, and it depends on kind of the audience, like you can get a bunch of tight shirts in there. But like, I think like depending on the audience, you could go pray. And if you say things like, Lord, I thank you for rising from the dead and rescuing our sins, you're going to get a few amens in there. Sure. Because like, that's what people do. They do that. And so like, it feels affirming. Just like if you fire this up before they play ball and like, yeah, people are singing because you played it and they're kind and they do love Jesus. And no one wants to be the guy who like goes, no, ain't gonna sing that. That's not amazing grace. Yeah. But I just I don't I and I thought like, is there something cold in me that does not connect with it? Yeah. At all times. It just felt like I I

and it's not like it has to be at like, oh, I only do that at church on Sunday. That's not true. Right. I just wonder if we've we've got a belief that, like, hey, this is what people do Christians do when they get get together. And, like, yeah, does it feel obligatory like a prayer time or a prayer circle or something like that? It was like you're you're you're thinking of something, you know, like whether it's a sporting event. Okay. We're gonna get ready to go, whatever, blah blah blah. And all of sudden, they're pulling you out of what you're thinking and to sing.

So you're that's probably like, well and that's not what I'm doing here. I'm doing I'm getting ready for something else. Yeah. But it just immediately puts you to a place where you're like, why are we doing this worship? Let's get to the ball. Right. Right. Right. And it feels wrong to me. And but but anyway, I I have that has happened on the prayer thing and on some of the tunes thing, I wanna say, like, three or four times over the last six months or so. And I'm like, I don't like I don't like how I feel about it. But it's unclear to me is am I being put in an awkward position, or am I am I postured wrong?

Because it feels like I could be postured wrong. I don't know. I think if the tunes ripped harder, you'd be into it. I don't know. You think it's because I'm being asked via obligation where it should draw me in. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I feel like Homeschoolers have things to work on. Especially relating to other people. Like,

I have a this is funny. Like, I I really enjoy I tend to enjoy going to other church services or when other people play worship music because usually I'm working. Right? Like, I'm the guy that performs it or whatever or picks it out and whatever. And so, like, I love going to other places where someone else is playing music. It's like a gift to me. Mhmm. But, like, I swear I go places and they just it's like slow burners, like seven of them all cracked in a row. And I'm like, man, I mean, I feel like I poured out on that first one, and I'm out by number two. Like, know, like, does anyone not know any fast Jesus tunes? Like, we is praise out like we only do worship? And then, like, all these churches buy, like, this wispy ocean soundtrack for playing during communion or something. And it's like this space aged, like, zoosaphone. And, like, if there's you can hear, like, a couple weird sounds every once in while. And they're like, is this supposed to put me in a mood? Because it doesn't. Yeah. That did happen. We were picking apart one of my kids from, like, a church activity thing over the weekend. And when you go in there, there was this, like, this real vibey Yeah. Like, synthy. And I'm like, why is this happening? Real sounds. And actually and and it's it's interesting because, like, I don't know

I I I don't think someone I think someone probably thought, oh, I've heard this go on and it feels legitimate to do it or it helps to set a scene. And then I thought like, I don't know how much of these things that we do are because we feel like we're supposed to do them. But like if you were to ask somebody, it's like, hey, you get a lot out of that whiskey business? It's like, no, not really. Oh. You know what's a good example of this is given the offering. It's like, I don't like, there's no biblical bounds for this, like, dog and pony show that we've created about it. You know, where we get people out or we pass the plate, we turn the lights down, we turn the lights up. We put on the music, we don't put on the music. And then everyone sits there in silence for, eight, ten minutes while people are shelling out cash or filling out an envelope. Like some churches go the other way. They're like, we just put a box in the front and everybody can go to the front. And I tend to like that a little bit better, but part of me is like, why are we doing this in the church service at all? Right? Either give the money or don't give the money. Right? Like, it feels like a weird setup. Like, we get to invite you to be part of the Lord's just freaking do it if you're gonna do it. Right? Like, this this taking time out to watch everybody move money around, it's weird. It is. It's a weird thing. I the place a place where it recently passed through, it was like a clear bowl. I'm like, that's

bold. Like, I'd get a wooden bowl, friends. Don't Little LED figure out for that. $29. Like, I always just figured, like, in the book in the book of acts, you know, where they're like they're like like the temple's gone. Right? So the book of acts, and they were, like, giving bread or giving parts of a cow. And like, I feel like people are just dropping it off on their way to work. You know what I'm saying? They're like, gotta go to the leather shop. I'm gonna drop off my stuff at the building or at this guy's house where we usually meet or whatever. And then they just unceremoniously walk away. You know what I'm saying? But like, we, like, put a big old focus on it. You know? And it's just it's awkward. Yeah.

Here, I got I got a question. Back on back on the prayer thing. Yep. When you're in a setting and someone's praying publicly, what's going through your mind as a listener?

Are you like like, I've done things where like I'll kind of in my head repeat their words. And that's kind weird. I try to do that. But I'll just like, yes, Lord, or something. That's weird too. Like, I I kind of hop around. I don't know. I see I I will get easily distracted. Yeah. And so I I tend to to try to visualize the words that they're saying going across my mind. Okay. Because that tends to allow me to focus and like prey on what it is that they're praying because otherwise it will just Yeah. You're talking about mashed potatoes. And to be honest with you, some of that comes for and like I almost never pray in public settings. I be be because I'm I'm prone to feeling like I have to find a thing to say. And so I just I like I just stay out of it and or will pray very, very tightly. And I'll be honest, like there's just some folks be praying that like, you need to cut that way down. This kid this sounded like it was about you or whatever fancy words you can come up with.

And, like and and and I get tuned out. I'm not praying with you anymore. Yeah. Because it switches over to a prayer sermon in there. Yeah. And you're like, hey, man. You gotta stop this. Right? Like, we're talk if we're actually talking to the creator of the world, don't be sermonizing to him for one. Right. And two, like, we were all here. Right? Just get to the praying part. Like, we're gonna talk to him. Let's give up our appeals. You know? That's what that's like where I like, I I've only done it. I've been a part of it a couple times where people are like, look, we just gotta pray for a couple minutes. And then everybody just prays out loud all at the same time saying whatever they want, you know, different things. And like, part of me is like, I I think I sometimes like this better Because when when the when a sea of people are praying and you're all saying a different thing, people don't posture so much. They don't feel like they have to find the right words. They don't feel like they had to say something that, you know, other people can put in a package and hold. You know, you can just, like, pray like you would at home. You're like, and maybe people are super formal when they pray at home too. And maybe that's the thing, but I am definitely not. I'm the exact opposite. Like, I talk very informally after I, you know, get my heart in a place that understands who I'm talking to. But after that, like, just I talk to my dad, and I say stuff. You know? And so, like, I don't know. Some of it feels, like, beneficial because it pulls all the posturing out of it. Yeah.

Nathaniel, you ever been in a prayer circle that you felt like that was righteous? Not that I can think of off the top of the dome. I mean, a lot I mean, like, unless you count, like, church. What do you mean? Like, they're like, everybody gets in a big circle and holds hands? You've had that go well at a church service? No. Like,

when I was in college, we had a house church and we'd meet together and and we would all just take turns praying. Yeah. Yeah. And it wasn't like a like, currently, now at House Church, we'd like everybody says, or if you have something, you'll bring it up. Where instead of just bringing stuff up, you just everybody take a turn to pray. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe here's the thing is, like, it it it, like I was thinking about this a little bit last week because sometimes people just wanna tell a story to their friends and instead, like, they turn it into a prayer. And really, you just should have met with your buddy, like, on Wednesday and told them what's going on in your life. You know what I'm saying? Like prayer time sometimes turns into life update time. And like, it's not that I'm against life updates, which I think we should have them, but like, I'm like, we're praying right now. You know what I'm saying? Like, we have this set apart holy time to be talking to the father as a community. And so it was like, we should be praying in a really direct way. And like, if you feel like you don't know enough about the next person's life, maybe you should call them or text them or figure something out on Friday. You know what saying? But this is I felt bad about that because I'm like, is this a heart problem for me? But people be telling lots of stories and you're like,

Some stories are cool and God honoring. Like, hey, man. He did some crazy stuff this week. Listen to what the Lord did. And then some stories are like, you'll never guess what happened to me in traffic. And I saw this mean man, and I was so mad at him. And then anyway, that made me late for my dentist appointment. And then I'm like, man, the Satan's really after me today. You know what I'm saying? You're like And then grandma stubbed her toe. And then my grandma's got having toe problems again. And you're like, what are we praying about, though? Yeah. What part should we take to the Lord? Have you ever been in a, like, a prayer time with people and and you're thinking, I can't agree with anything you're saying? Yeah. It's like, that's theologically wrong. Uh-huh. I don't even know if we're praying for God right now. Yeah. Mhmm. That's kinda weird. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. That is awkward. Yeah. Yeah. We've been talking about that a lot. Well, like, we hit it on the radio show a couple of weeks ago about inviting the holy spirit in. Oh, yeah. You know I'm saying? Or like like holy spirit be in this place. And like, I have always found that just slightly just off crooked, but I just kinda always let it go Yeah. Yeah. Because of the heart, I think, is saying you're You gonna see know? But like, at the end of the day, that's weird. Yeah. You know I'm saying? To be a big tune. What's that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And frankly, that's what worship is like. That's

worship has kinda taken, like, different flavors throughout the, you know, throughout the years and throughout the cultures, whatever. And, like, right now, we're in a very vibey, you know, like, to have the holy spirit circle around and just kind of flow through the place. And we're all about inviting. You know what I'm saying? Like like having this this deep vibe. Or the song is, like, really about one person or, like, especially human struggle. You know what I'm saying? Like, we we struggle to have the worship part of it in a lot of them. Even I do it. Like, I feel like I like, a lot of the tunes that that most of the people I know really like, they connect with them because they're personal.

Right? But they're not corporate worship tunes. They're not like just taking, you know, praises or or, like, singing about God. They're always like, I'm I'm having a struggle. I was down on my luck. I couldn't see anything. And then Jesus brought hope into my life. And you're like, that's a great story. I don't know if it's a worship tune. It is a great story, though. You know what I'm saying? And so corporately, sometimes I have a really hard time pulling the trigger on some of these tunes because I'm like, man, you know? But I've let my guard down in the last couple years because I'm like, all the good tunes are in that space. People aren't writing bangers for worship anymore. They will only write like was I in the worst spot of my life, and all of a sudden I feel better now. You know what saying? Like, those tunes are cracking. And then the other ones are kinda like, you know? I was just saying bangers. Go ahead. Yeah. No. Nathaniel fires bangers for sure. We don't ever sing those ones because they scream. Yeah. Los Angeles are hard to pull off with that ripped. It didn't work. I was at a conference a few weeks ago, and and there I there we were singing this song, and I thought, I can't hardly sing this. It was like it was I I I, me, me, me, I I I, and I thought,

everybody's really into this. So I'm probably just like the odd man out here, but I just feel like this has nothing to do with God. Yeah. I mean, it was Here's the thing that I think it unfortunately promotes. And like, I I really have been praying about this real specifically lately. It's like, I feel like the the the worship stuff does get centered on I I I and me me me. And then I look out like at a sea of Christians that only they're so inwardly focused

that like you're not reflecting out into the world at all. You're reflecting in your own room for sure. And and like but like even the thought of how big and how expansive and how good God is is focused on what he can do for you. Do I feel better? Am I do I have more joy? Do I have know? And it's just this I this be focused thing. And like, it's not like God doesn't do that. He very much does that. But like the the blessings of the kingdom comes from the work of the kingdom. And the work is actually getting out and like reflecting that goodness out into the world he put us in, the people around us. And like folks have such a hard time like going out, right? Like facing that thing outwards and like, I'm gonna surrender my worry about how I'm feeling today. And I'm just just going to go serve other people or surrender for other people or be there for other people. You know? And like realize not realizing that that's actually the root on which your stuff starts to diminish and stops running your life because one, you're not focused on it so hard. That's just a regular human thing. And two, like the Holy Spirit working through you is what cleans the pipes. You know what I'm saying? It kind of gets this muck out of here and lets you see the world how it's supposed to be seen in its truest form. And so like people are missing out on all of the benefit.

And instead they're just sitting in their room, like praying, asking God to fix them. You know I'm saying? They're like, ah, that's fixed in the mechanism, fixed in the work, and it's fixed in the thing that God is calling you into. Not it's all all of sudden gonna hit you when you're sitting at your place, you know, praying about yourself again. God's finally gonna answer that one. You know I'm saying? Yeah. I do I do think, like, there is and a lot of it's cultural is that a lot of the stuff is inward focused.

And, like, it's not wrong to be like, hey, it's hard to help people externally if you're feeling completely discombobulated. Like, I I understand. But, like, I think if we're waiting until like, sometimes we want the the peace that passes all understanding or the peace in places it doesn't belong without actually having to be in situations of which peace does not belong. And our lack of peace is probably from actually having not engaged in anything at all with, like, I'm feeling antsy. You're feeling antsy because you don't do anything. Like, you some some people can sit at the table and their legs bouncing,

and it's because they're sitting at the table and they needed to be out doing a bunch of other things. And so, like, I I I think oftentimes, unfortunately, the thing that feels like it's gonna help, is like, God, renew the thing inside me and, like, bring me peace. All the things that are focused on how you feel about a thing or your current orientation in your life is actually perpetually

making it worse, as opposed to like using all the faculties in the services that the good works of which you were created to walk in, which I think will then actually provide, the things that you were actually looking for. Hey, you feel better. You're more at peace. You have more joy in your life because you feel like you're doing something substantive. Well, you're not gonna do that at your place worrying about how you feel at any given moment. And so, like, it's not that none of that stuff is real and that there's not twisty things that go on in minds and hearts and bodies. I think those are all real legitimate things. I just don't know that they're always solved by continuing to try to work on the innards. Some of it is actually solved by getting out of that space and going out and doing and doing things and thinking of someone else besides yourself

and spending your time in something that feels accomplished and that is doing kingdom work. And then you might just find that, like, the peace and the joy and the stuff came from having done those things as opposed to asking for them first and then deciding that's the point at which you will go out and share. I I think I can attest to that as an experience. Right? I don't know how many times that, like, I've been asked to be a part of something or I feel like God's asking me to be a part of something, and I'm like, no. I don't want to go. Like, I just flat out don't wanna do that. That sounds awkward or terrible or I don't wanna have to say this thing, or or, like, I just don't I could use a rest day. Why don't we just do a rest day on Tuesday? And, like, I'll go anyway thinking it's gonna be terrible. And then, like, an hour and a half later, I'm like, I was gonna stay home. Mhmm. I'm so glad I went. This was the right thing to do. You know what I'm saying? Like, the thing that I thought was actually gonna help me was was lying to me. It was never gonna help me. I had propped it up in my own mind. Like, here's what I need to do. I just need to sit on this couch and stare at nothing. It's gonna be great. And then, like, an opportunity will come up to sit at the couch and stare at nothing. And about twenty minutes in, I'm like, this sucks. I should go. I can't believe I'm not doing anything with my time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Well, so I mean You're half a turd. Is that the question? Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. You're half a turd for sure. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. I don't know why your heart is so broken in this way. I don't know. People invite you into singing tunes about Jesus. You're like, meh. That's what I'm saying. That's or my I like, okay. Even more practically,

my wife will hear a thing, a song or whatever, and she's and it really meant something to her. She's like, hey. Listen to it. And I'll listen to it. I'm like, yeah. Okay. Like, I just I don't know why I don't connect with the things. The stuff often takes me a while. Yeah. Like, I gotta hear it two or three times. Yeah. Like, is there are definitely boundaries of entry for things to hit me. And so I don't I don't react to stuff well. Have you never had, like, a worship tune just hit you right off the crack? You're like, yep. No.

No. Boy, you are a you are a big toe with this operation. Yes. I I know. Yeah. I mean, but there there are totally there are totally songs and even like all kinds of art forms like poems and like like people doing dramas and things that like can totally get me. I I I'm I can be drawn into these types of things. But, like, if it I I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why sometimes it hits me. Like, I'm just I'm not open at all times where, if something happens, I'm like, oh, I might emote to this. It might hit me. It might Why is it so calculated? I don't know. I like to set up my emotes.

Because it feels like it's it's being put on. Like it does feel like saying, oh, like let's now that we have now that we have you here or now that I have you trapped in the car, take this and have a reaction to it. And inevitably my reaction, if I'm being honest, is not in the same way that someone else connected with it. And I don't have any problem with how someone else connected with it. I just did not

in the moment connect with it that way. Yeah. And I feel a little bit bad about it. No. Actually, I think that's fine. Like, I feel like this actually boils down to parts of the body question. You know what I'm saying? Like, God designed some people to be Modi and to take in worship and, like, be instantly worshipful.

Right? For I've for I've heard it. Yeah. And some people, like, it it it phrases things in a way that is easy to remember, like, to remember than scripture because it's put to a tune. And, like, that phrase will come back to you somewhere along the day. Yeah. And whether it's because you like the tune or like like God just needed to put some words in your mind, like, they'll float back in there. Music is like it's one of the greatest gifts that God could ever created for man because it just has this ability to stick and and in your head for years and years and years. And then they just come firing back at weird times, you know, when God needs to use them. And but, like, actually, secular music to that too. You know what I'm saying? You'll have a song that you knew in 1987. All of sudden fires up. You're like, weird. I ain't thought about that song forever. Dude, there's a there's a I I got a record player for Christmas from the kids. It's one of those suitcase record players from the oldies. This thing is like it's not a good record player. Like, it's not high fidelity. You you meet I I Stupid kids.

Out I changed out the needle directly because I looked it up and they're like, dude, needle's gonna scratch the crap out of these records. Yeah. And so but anyway, but I I tried I thought I'm gonna try to improve the sound so I can enjoy this record player. And anyway, I get this my oldest daughter has records because she's got a record player. And there's this Bob Seger album that she has. And so I put it on, and I'm listening to these normal Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band tunes are rolling through. And then there's a song that starts that I don't never I've never heard on the radio. It's called I think it's called Sunburst. And it sounds to me like it's about polycarp.

And, like, I listened to it multiple times. I'm like, there's no way Bob Seger wrote a song about polycarp. Right. Because but it's like it's it's like this arena comes in and there's like a bunch of like this massive crowd around and it says like there's talking about lions awaiting Christians. And I'm like, this is about it's not about polycarp at all. Dang it. I looked it up and I was sorely disappointed. Although I'll tell you this, the AI, first I I tried the AI and it lied to me. I'm like, hey, what's this song about? And it spits it out. Like, hey, it's about this thing or that. Like, blah blah blah. And I'm like, where did you pull this information from? Like, what are your sources? Like, I just derived it based upon the name of the song. I actually have no idea. Oh. I have no Internet references for this tune. I'm like, you completely

made up Blind me. What this song was about. I trusted you. I didn't even give it any lyrics or anything. It's just like Sunburst by Bob Seger. It's like, oh, yes. This song is about blah blah blah. It's a guitar. I'm so confident. It was ridiculous. Anyway, I I listened to that do you go for listen to the song Sunburst by Bob It's pretty good. Okay. I'm gonna put that on. But

there was something about it where like, I'm like, I like this. This points me it points me back to Jesus. And Bob Seger did not intend that with his tune at all. But I I liked it. I was set up and I enjoyed it. And there's also some Mumford and Sons songs that will point me and point me towards Jesus and it makes me happy. I could tell you I'm just thinking about this. It's like, I don't know. Like, I've had some I've had some songs really connect with me and, like, they almost become like a

a soundtrack for a while of whatever God seems to be running me through or whatever I needed to grab onto or whatever. But I don't know. I was just thinking about it, and I don't know that I've ever felt like I was getting, like, invited into something or direction from God through a song. Mhmm. I don't know that I like like scripture for sure that's happened. Prayer for sure. Circumstances, I've had that come about, you know, where, like, things just kinda line up in a way, like, multiple layers in and you're like, ah, man. I don't know about this. This feels like it needs more prayer. This is way too way too bunch of stuff coming together at once. But I don't know that I've ever heard a song and thought, I need to act on this because of that song. And which is like, if if there was gonna be like, I would find myself very susceptible to this because I actually do like worship music. And like, I am probably closer to the instant emote. I can get into a worship tune pretty fast. And but like, now that I think about it, I just don't know that I've ever felt like God was like talking to me through a song or like asking me to do something as a result of a song. But scripture for sure has done that. Yeah. And, you know, circumstances, holy spirit, prayer, stuff like that for sure. But never a tune, which once again, like, I'll let them I'll let them sit as soundtracks for a month and be like, this feels like the thing that God is trying to help me rest in. That has definitely happened. But like, I yeah. I don't the other thing, I don't think I've ever had that happen to me.

Yeah. I I yeah. I feel like I am the things that that I have connected most with are more about the songs and their posturing towards God. It doesn't the actual details of the tune don't mean so much to me, but like songs that otherwise

like remind me that God is awesome and that I need him. I find that I connect to those pretty well. And which is interesting because to your point, Mike, a lot of the I and Me songs are somehow like often like they're not self empowerment because they point you to Jesus for it,

but otherwise have something to do with you feeling greater or able or capable. And I actually don't care. I don't have to be reminded. I don't care to be reminded of that. I like I wanna be like, the thing that just like sets me as a small

child in desperate need of a good good king like that. I connect with that. Yeah. I think I think I agree. Yeah. Alright. Been listening to Live From The Path. Thanks for hanging on with us so far. Hey. I I don't know. I'm curious.

One, if you're a if you're a prayer blowhard, you should stop it. Yeah. And if you have a worship tombs ready at your place, I'm actually still fine with it. Just know that I'm I'm I don't hit it doesn't hit me the way that hits you, but I'm not saying you can't keep doing it at whatever event you have have going on. And if there's I'd be kind of curious if you have any

secular tunes. So like tunes that have not specifically written for the church that point you to Jesus. Yeah. And I'd I'd love to to share them. Like, share share them up and tell us, like, why? What what about this

points you to Jesus? Because that'd be super interesting. You do that on the Life From The Path complaint line. Call or text (515) 517-0085. (515) 517-0085. Call or text. And we're looking for secular tunes that point you to Jesus

and in what way, and we'd be interested to hear about it. Also, last week, we we discussed that Mike needs a new catchphrase. He's trying to get rid of get out of come on. Come on. And you were to text things to the Life in the Path of Complaint line. We we received zero submissions. Oh, dear. That website's website's a a liar. Liar. Yeah. Yeah. The website makes it sound like 16,000

people over the last thirty days have been visiting content or which either is not true, which I think is certainly not true, but also they're not listening to the program or they don't have any suggestions. Like, someone wanted it like, they wanted tuna fish, but they're embarrassed to say it. Dude, tuna fish. Yeah.

Tuna yeah. Tuna fish. Cold cut? I'm going back to cold cut. Yeah. Yeah. No one no one recommended anything. Okay. I I'll come up with something. Alright. Alright. I don't know, man. Anything anything else floating around here? We're just gonna give out some advice and call it a day. I would probably hit some advice. Anybody else got any burning things on their mind?

I know that I'm about done with these sex scandals. I think everybody should just step down right now. Let's just start over. Yeah. Everybody steps down. I mean, I was, you know, I was kinda thinking about this the other day. I wonder if there has been a study out there if you can figure out at what point what what comes the danger point? You know? Like, there's always like megachurch guys. Right? I'm I'm I'm sure happens to small churches too, but those are the ones that hit the headlines. Maybe it's just Yeah. Because they're the big ones. I don't know. I don't know. It was just I was pondering as I was driving. Is there a certain level of church when all of a sudden, like, guys get more susceptible to it? Or I'm talking myself out of it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or is it more likely to have an affair, like, when you hit a thousand or Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are there certain things where you could look at and say, like, this is more risky for this person simply by their power exposure I don't know a soul who's had that happen in small churches. I'm sure there has. I'm sure it has. Yeah. But of in my circle

of people I've known over the years, which is quite a few Yeah. I've not known a single one. But but the big ones are like, I'm just waiting. Well, when's he gonna go down? You know? Yeah. Yeah. Right. And and so it made us a skepticism on my side. You think it just the thing is is like like power and success just bring more trouble than you ever want. And so, like We're not designed for that. What what seems so weird is, like, I know very earnest people who I think love Jesus. And, like, when your church got to, like, 1,500,

there should have been something in you that's, like, shut down. Like I'm not gonna broadcast myself to seven satellite places. Right? I'm not gonna take leadership. Like the Bible is really Harsh is the wrong word, but like very accurate in the way that God says, look, like if you're gonna be a preacher teacher, just know I'm gonna hold you to a much higher standard. So like if you're gonna say you're gonna take responsibility for telling people who God is and what that makes you,

then like you should be scared to death, Right? Like Yeah. When you're like, I haven't ever talked to this person. I don't want I wanna make sure that they're understanding what's coming out, the things that we're talking about, the things that our our church is working on. Like, it should mean something to you that when you look out in a sea of people and you don't know but, like, a quarter of them, I would start freaking out as a teacher. Be like, I have no possible way of verifying this is this is landing. I have no idea what's going on in your life. And so like it it like, it just should just freak you out. But like what we do is we go, God is sending more people. And so God has God finds me so trustworthy with these folks that he's bringing more people in. And like, you should watch that thought like a hawk. And then you should have people praying about that thought. When your church starts doing well by the world's estimation, that it would require more resources, more money, and more building space. I'm not saying that's always bad, but I'm saying just be super careful. You know what I'm saying? Like, because now the thing that you're after is like, if you build a space, then there has to be more people. And where God was gonna stop sending people, now you're grabbing them. Right? You're like, well, the growth still has to happen because we have x space and x people. We're paying people to be greeters for heaven's sakes. People are on the payroll. We're giving them money to say hello to people as they walk in the door. And you're like, what? What do you mean? People just don't wanna do this on their own? This is weird. Right? And so like you embedded an infrastructure inside your church that now requires the money of men. And just be careful how much you wanna take on board with that. Like, that's the thing. It's like, what's always weird to me is like, I know that I can't be right in that God will say, you know, we will never have mega churches. I think God has blessed some. And I think he has brought people to those things. But, like, as a as a guy that would be involved in it, I would just start becoming really,

like, nervous Mhmm. After a certain amount where I'm like, ah, I don't know about this. I don't know about this. You know? Yeah. I I there was Francis Chan came out this week and with an apology because of endorsements

that he had done for there's guy guy named Mike Bickel, and there's another dude. I forget his name. And since since it wasn't like, hey,

this guy's done a bunch of nasty things and Francis Chan came first and said, oh, yeah, I'm for him. It's been like they had done some things together and said, yes. This they'd seen some things that he had apparently prophesied about, and they had believed that they had come true. And so Francis Chan like, he'd done some events with them, stuff like this. And so he came back, and he had to apologize this week. And he and his elders also apologized. And it was really funny, interesting to look at because Francis Chan had this apology about like, look, man. I I didn't as soon as I heard about any of this, I went and confronted this man and then, you know, stopped obviously, you know, doing anything with him and whatever.

And his elders come back and they're like, Francis did not was not aware of any of these things and Francis blah blah blah. I'm like, why are you talking about this man like he doesn't like he didn't just write his own letter? Yeah. Like, it's fine to go, look. We keep an eye on the things. Like, we try to help him. We're cautious about where he books because because he's just like, apparently and I don't think this is a surprise if you've ever read or watched anything from Francis Chan. He's just like a trusting man. He wants to go wherever he thinks the gospel is going on. Yeah. He is he is a bit more he leans more charismatic than like a lot of the guy. At the same time, Francis Chan's stuff was blowing up as when like the young restless reform stuff was blowing up everywhere. And so you got a lot of this like kind of restrictive holy spirit stuff. And Francis Chan was like more holy spirit ish than everybody else. He also cried all the time. And so like Right. There was just something about him that was a little bit different. But anyway, I I say all that to say is that like

he's one of the things that's interesting about a guy so popular like Francis Chan is that like there's a lot of good that can be done with that level of influence. But when it gets so big and everyone's inviting you to come speak at a thing or whatever, especially

anything that feels like an endorsement. Like, well, you can't you can't check all these people out. What are you gonna have? A private investigator that, goes through every dude you ever share a stage with? But the risk is exactly what happened. Something you didn't know about on someone who is saying something that you would agree with on a stage that was otherwise designed to otherwise to encourage and enliven Christians. And like, what do you not participate in any of those things? But the risk that comes with it is now someone goes, look, man, we trusted this guy because Francis Chan's shared a stage with him. Is that Francis Chan's fault? I don't know. Either you gotta go, we don't participate in anything this big because it cannot be controlled. But have there also been probably many, like, very good situations where, like, a bunch of Jesus dudes get together and they hold a conference, they say awesome things and people are riled up, maybe? Yeah. But think about it. Like, what a hundred year problem. Right? But, like like, no one would endorse anybody a hundred years ago because no one would know who Francis Chan is. Right. Yeah. Because we don't have the Internet and we don't know who he is. And so you'd be like, hey, this dude I met in California says I'm cool. I'm like, I don't give a rat's behind what that guy says. I don't know who that is. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And so like the endorsement was wildly unnecessary.

And even like like in a today's level, like what are Christians doing around endorsing other Christians? You know what I'm saying? Like Yeah. Yeah. What do you wanna have anything to do with this? But in a in smaller level, like how many times have people given out say a Philip Yancey book to someone struggling and thinking, hey. I endorse this book. I endorse this guy. Yep. And who knew he was having an affair at the time? Right. I I mean He's not a little smaller level thing, but it's I don't if we're doing the same thing. Let's see. To Ben's point here, like, I've seen pictures of these pastors that are having the inappropriate relationships. It's power thing. It's not a look. This is a world. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, these dudes look like a a West End salvage coffee table, half of them. Yeah. You know I'm saying? Leather skin, they're old. They weren't even cool when they was young. There's like I so for some reason, there's like this bent in, like, pastors who have affairs that are 65 years old and look like the Quaker Oats guy without his hat on. Yeah. I'm too good looking for an affair. That's that's obviously good. My wife is secure. See, this okay. Alarm bell number two. One, you got 15,000 people in your church. You should be real nervous. Two, you got a mirror at your place. Look at yourself. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You should be like, there's no possible way to get home. Right? You're you you've you've been lying to yourself. People are like, yeah, man. People just be throwing stuff at me. I don't know how to happen. You know how it would happen. You lied to yourself. You looked in the mirror and thought it's because I'm suave looking and I I can have good speeches. No. It ain't. That ain't the reason at the thing. Especially when you get to, you know, you got 3,000 people in your church or whatever, and you're like, oh, these people are just drawn to me because of my bible teaching. You go back you go to the old house church environment or to the country church somewhere where there's 50 people in the room and 38 of them are sleeping. Yeah. And like 10 of them are judging you very harshly for the thing that you said. You will not be under the impression that people are enamored with your bible teaching. Yeah. Also, like, wait wait. Like, where does the humility show up that goes? You didn't write any of this. Right? You know what I'm saying? Like, your job is to tell other people what it says. You're a glorified kindergarten story time guy. Yeah. But some of them did. Also the problem, you get enamored with your own sauce. You start you start kicking out words, and you're like, boy, those were good words. I'm like, it's if they were Jesus' words, then you wouldn't be saying it the way that you're saying it, which means you're impressed with your own thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. And then you then you and when you're impressed, you you recognize or you're like, oh, well, I understand why everyone else would be impressed. Yeah. When it stopped being like, this is such great news I wanna tell other people. And and when it turned into, I am so good at telling other people good news, like, there should be an alarm bell in you. You should be like, I'm so good at preaching on sanctification. You're like, what are you talking about? I actually I am and again, I don't have the I'm not there's plenty of dudes who are like super talented. Right? So I don't these aren't just huge risks for me. But I'm very suspicious. It was like, hey, Ben, will you come talk to these people? Like, goodness. Why? Why would you want me to talk to these people? Yeah. Like, I don't I don't have anything.

Whatever you're looking for, I'm probably going to disappoint you. I only do one thing. And so I'm actually and I think there's something that's okay about that to go, yes, I'm gonna do it because I believe in the thing that I'm going to talk to you about. But just know whatever you're looking for, I'm probably going to disappoint you. Right. Have you guys ever had someone come up to you and say, I really want you to talk to my friend. And then like, let's set it up. Will you go talk to this guy? Yeah. Yes. How did it go? Terrible. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have the relationship.

Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to just Yeah. I actually have had with even within the last, I wanna say it was last year, late last, like back half of last year, I I usually don't have a problem firing up like a coffee to talk about Bible stuff. And like dude was like a no. He's like, Yeah,

I know that's really important at your house. But he's like, he's not interested. I'm like, oh. Yep. Got it. I may and I may like, I kinda tried to make the case back to him to be like, you know, I I get that maybe maybe it doesn't strike you as important, but like, you you probably should know for sure. And just know like if you ever want to chat through this thing, like I'm here. You might just vet it out, you know? And then if you come to the conclusion it's not important,

you know, at least you were working off of a full set of info. Right. No. He ain't doing it. No. He don't he don't want anything to do it. I'm like, well, dang. I got I got turnt out. Oh. Alright. You listen to life from Beth. Alright. Mike, I think that's all we got. Let's do some let's do a little bit of advice. Okay. Here we go. I was half ready. No. That one seems stupid. Here we go. This one seems great.

Dear life from the path. Eighteen months ago, I was staying with my son and his family when they had a get together with his wife, wife Corinne's father. His wife, Corinne's stepmother, had just finished chemo for several different types of cancer. When Corinne's dad went to leave, I offered to put together a small plate for his wife, hoping it would make her feel better. When Corinne saw this from the outside, she came in and accused me of giving away family food that her son might want. They have lots of money. And I replied that I just thought it would be nice for the recovering woman. And if Corinne thought she needed more food for her son, I'd be happy to get it. My son and his wife have barely spoken to me since. I have offered to meet them for counseling and have sent my grandson little gifts every month, which have gone unacknowledged.

I saw them for the first time last month at a family wedding. They barely said a word to me, and my son avoided me. The rest of the family could not believe how rude they were to me. I don't know what else to do. I have reached out. I've written notes. When I talk with my son on the phone, he's receptive. Then he talks to his wife, and all of a sudden, nothing is acceptable. Please help me. There's got there has to be I I There's more, isn't there? Yeah. I don't I I'm not there does not have to be more to this specific story. Right. Right. But there is likely more to this relationship. Water under that bridge. Yeah. Yeah. Don't give away my food. A nice straw that broke the camel's back. Are you trying to give away our leftover beans to the cancer lady? I don't think so. Like, This doesn't make any sense at all. I'm trying to think of a situation where it does make sense that the wife would get all all peeved up about it. And it might be that, like, it's the wife's wife's home. Home.

Right? It's her She's getting up in her business. Yeah. It's her obligation or her, like, responsibility to offer food to the stepmom and to for a take home plate, and she was gonna do it. But instead, busybody mom stepped in and took her homemaker roll away and, like, offended her. And, like, I could see that as being a possibility even if one of them it was unintentional. Right? Right. But, like, some people just don't know can't respect the house. They're like, I am the I am the top matriarch everywhere, and I will do the offering of the foods. She hasn't respected boundaries in the past. I think that's I think you're right. Yeah. This is where it would make sense to me. After that, hey, I wanted to send it to GoPlate for a woman who just got out of chemo and someone that goes, how dare you give away food we might eat later? You know I'm saying? Like, that makes zero sense.

So, yeah, something about this story is all is all frazzled up. So I I was totally waiting for you to say that, like, the the husband made a pass on her or something. It went totally different direction. Yeah. What? On the bomb? Food? They've tried to go to counseling over food? That seems wild. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a super stuff. Dude, actually, if that's the reaction like, if if even if you were gonna read this story in a vacuum, if if the the mom's reaction is I offered to go to counseling, like, that makes no sense either. Over one misunderstanding

over a plate of food you would like to give away. And, like, now she hates me. Would you like to go to counseling? Like, back off, woman. Yeah. We're not going to counseling. Okay. Nathaniel, have you ever have you ever, like, you or your wife or somebody made a dish for some sort of gathering,

and then as the day or night went on, you wished that people who were at this gathering would stop eating so much of it because you wanted to take some of it home? Oh. Not that I can recall. I've been involved in something like that. I've I've I've I've there. I also have been there. I've also, like, watched a dish that my wife had prepared and saw very little takers, and I'm like, I gotta chuck half this stuff so my wife feels like I've done that too. Thought your pizza was good. It was empty. It's just sitting there with one cracker out of it, and I'm like, I don't even want that. It's got beans in it. Everybody's stuff's empty and ice in here full. Yeah. It don't happen very often. But, like, I'll do that for other people's dishes too. If there's one widely ignored thing Yeah. I'll, like, start taking heaps of it and then just start giving it to the dog or something. Like, I don't want people feel like their food no good. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You should know man, I've outed it. But you should know it's possible you make bad food and some loving person in your life is covering for you at parties. You know what I'm saying? They're like, but my everyone loves it at the parties. And there's I've screwed the husband who's like, no. Woman, I'm telling you this bean dip's terrible. And he's like, everybody eats it when we go to the parties. You know what I'm saying? Turns out it's me dumping it to the dump. Right. Right. Okay. Would it be would it be would it be terribly out of place if the say if somebody made the same dish all the time and nobody liked it,

do you think it would be out of pocket to write a small note, put it under the dish, and just like anonymously say, look, need you to know that nobody eats this. No. Here's photos of people throwing it in the garbage. No. That's a that's the here's the thing. It's like, that's how you mark good friends in your life. They're willing to tell you a hard thing. Yeah. If you could if you let's say you pulled this off for like seven, eight years and you don't you don't have anyone close enough to you that would walk up to you and go, Ben, your jambalaya smells like feet and it's way too freaking hot for the normal person. Stop it. Hey. That felt really on the nose. Yeah. Is that how you feel about my Gemini? It's actually not. Ben's Gemini is actually pretty good, but I needed a solid example. Right? Like like, I love Ben enough to be like, listen. Yeah. Everyone's just patting you on the tush and sending you on your way. I'm telling you right now, it sucks. Yeah. You need to stop making it. Yeah. Pretty rough. Yeah. Okay. Wait. So do you think it would be wrong to leave the note because

I should have just said taken them apart in the I think if you're willing to cowardly write a note, then you should man up and tell him to the faces. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I mean, to the side, you don't wanna make a big show of it at the party. Like, who made this? It's like diapers in here. Start gagging. Yeah.

Oh, speaking of, quick side story. I went and saw CS Lewis' screw tape letters on the stage. Dan saw it. I was there. Yeah. That's crazy. It was so good. It was. I was really impressed. Yeah. Have you ever read the book? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You're better than me. I hadn't even read the book. Yeah. I but I struggled. Like, I was gonna struggle with the play for the same reason, like, I just slogged through CS Lewis because he writes so Yeah. Colloquially Yeah. That I get lost in it, and it makes me feel dumb. Like, that's a lot of syllables in that one. It really is. But, like, the stage adaptation was really good. It's great. Yeah. If you ever get a chance to see it, I would for sure recommend it. That the the little demon toad pipe's funny. Yeah. He's the comic relief of the operation. Here we go. Yep. Secular says, could there be more behind this than you have mentioned? Yeah. Perhaps hurt feelings that drove Corinne over the edge? You have done all you can to make up with your super sensitive daughter-in-law who appears to be uniquely possessive of her food. Take a step back. Sometimes things get better with time, and this is what I'm hoping will happen for you.

Yeah. I don't know. Basically, someone said, hey. Will you pull the wool over my eyes? And then you showed up with half a lamb. Right? Like, you didn't ask any follow-up questions. You just cited what the person that said, I've been wronged. Now now it could be that she used a special plate that was her great great grandmother's from World War two and gave that plate away with food on it. We we didn't we didn't go there. That's possible. I mean, the wife did say a weird thing if that was the case. Right? Instead of going, woah. Woah. Don't use that plate. That's my grandma Miles. Yeah. Instead, she's like, my son might eat that food later.

So she didn't help the situation if she said completely the wrong thing. I hate that Jibelaka. Jeez.

Okay. Dear life from the past. A year ago, I got out of a verbally abusive relationship. Five months later, I met the man of my dreams Oh. Who had also been in a very bad marriage. We are really good together. But if something bad happens, he flies off the handle and accuses me of being stupid and not normal.

Good night, woman. You're making poor choices. He also threatens to leave me if I don't change my behavior. Oh. This was the same threat I got from my ex. Yep. I suspect that when I get upset about a problem, he thinks I'm his ex wife. What should I do? I love him, but I don't want to be back in the same kind of relationship as before. You are. For sure you are. Yeah. You definitely Come on. No. They're they're not are they were they married, the second ones? Or are they just dating? They're just dating. Okay. Yeah. Run. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, listen to me. Dear dear daughter of the lord, you don't get to be called stupid and not normal,

especially by the person that you're trying to be one person with. Like, this is horrible behavior. Like, I'm gonna say that you've probably had a bad relationship experience, obviously, and that you view yourself in a way that is not correct. You also have terrible friends or you're very stubborn. Right? People are like, no, Cindy. No. This new fellow James or whatever, not for you. Look at him. Like, he's not even treating you right at out out and about. You're like, no, but I love him. He's the man of my dreams. He's not. The man of your dreams does not call you stupid and not normal. Yeah. And then fly off the handle and tell you I'm gonna leave if you don't change your ways. I look at my wife and go, I will always stay. I will tolerate all of this. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's our motto. We will tolerate all the things because we're gonna figure out how to get through this thing as one married couple, and we're never gonna leave. And that's that's the promise that I make. And so it doesn't matter what you do or how how poorly you turn to me and treat me like crap. I will go,

I know, woman. We're gonna stick this out, and we'll figure this out together. You know I'm kinda what she's proposing. Yeah. Who? The lady. What do you mean? She's like, she's gonna stick it out regardless of how this guy treats her. Yeah. But here's the thing is like, I'm I'm selling my wife as some kind of crazy lady. She's really not that's really unfair. But, like, I've also made a covenant where, like, we're gonna do this for a lifetime. You know what I'm saying? But, like, at the end of the day, like, either your friends have warned you against this and you keep butterflying your way into stuff, or like, you should have known like this I don't even understand the question right now. Like, you've been in a verbally abusive relationship before. You can recognize it. This is obviously one of them. It's time to leave. Like, right now, the man's on his best behavior. You are not married. Right? He's trying to woo you in a way, and you're allowing it, and you should go immediately. Yeah. I don't really I don't understand the psychology of this that that it's so common, though. People who've been abused find abusive they keep finding abusive guys, you know, whether it's verbal or physical sexual, whatever. And they hate it, but then they go back to it. And it's very common. Very common. Yeah. Yeah. There's I know there's some deep stuff in there that that's beyond above my pay grade. Yeah. Well, I I think there's a parts of it that like they're obviously not like that all the time, and the non

abusive times are probably manipulative and flattering. Right. And so Right. Like, what what it paints for you is that the verbally abusive part is, like, the exception. I really love this part, but I I I I hate this part over here, but, like, it's it's very utilitarian.

It's like, oh, like, someone put arsenic at the bottom of the cake and, like but I but the cake's good. I mean, most of it's cake, very little of it's arsenic. And so shouldn't it be okay? I'm like, no. It's it's literally not okay. You're it's going to kill you, and there it is possible to eat cake. Or you may be just a cookie or something. Like, you don't get cake all the time. Have a cookie, but no arsenic. And so it's gonna be better. And so I yeah. I that's the thing is that, like, you the minute you start treating the behavior that's bad as the exception, it makes it seem like it's something that you have more influence over. Like, oh, well, it's only happening every once in a while. Either I can tolerate it or it's just kinda like this at these times or if I changed if maybe if I wasn't so dumb, he wouldn't call me dumb. And like, again, it's a misunderstanding of how your spouse is should be postured towards you. Like, you don't don't measure

to to Mike's point, you don't measure the health of your marriage based upon stacking events up and down and go, good times are a little bit better than the bad times. It's the same the way that you think about your relationship with Jesus, which is the posture of my life in all its imperfections is a recognition of Jesus and humble service to him. And I know I'm not gonna get it always right, but like that, my life is postured towards that. Just like my life is postured

towards my wife, towards forever with my wife, in service to her, in love and deference to her. And like, although I will not get it right all the time, my posturing at all times is that. Mhmm. And like, if you if the posturing isn't that, if you're then weighing events, like, that's just a really crappy relationship to be in. This person is not postured towards you when you're good, and that you can tell by some of these negative events and you need to get the heck out of there. Mhmm. This guy sounds pretty stupid and not normal. He's not normal. Get a mirror, bro. You're stupid. Yeah. You need a bro to stand up for you and be like, I'll tell you who's dumb. That guy. I told It's just, like, not normal to, you know, call people names that you're in love with. Yeah. Truth.

Don't do that. Is it that simple? Yes. It is. I don't know how maybe it's just culturally or because you follow Jesus or whatever. But like, I get so embarrassed at time when like something comes out of my mouth. I'm like, what the heck? This is embarrassing

to, like, not fight fair with your spouse or to, like, take an easy way out or, like Or painter is being crazy on a radio show. Yeah. Like, shut the door a little harder than you should have just to like make your point like a five year old and be like, oh, it feels so embarrassing and stupid. And, yes, you gotta go apologize and go, shouldn't have done that, and I feel stupid for having done it.

And so, like, I just don't understand these people who have the ability to act like a child, and it doesn't, like, rack them. Like, I don't understand it. They don't have a conscience. Yeah. Segular says, you may not wanna be back in the same kind of relationship that you had before, but it looks like that's almost exactly where you are. I don't blame you for being scared and confused because there's something wrong with your man picker.

You What? Man picker? Man picker? Is that it must be a device that ladies have. Don't I need take. Okay. You have now been with two emotional abusers. Before involving yourself in any more romantic relationships, it's important that you discuss this with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional who could help you break this pattern. If you do, you'll spare yourself years of bad choices and heartache.

Okay. Ready? Last one. Yep. Nope. Dude, grandpa's vaping. We're not talking about that one. Yeah. Actually, what so one other thing on this one. And there's other scenarios where this is also true. But like, you need to get in your mind, like, right now, this is not the one that got away. Your belief of what was true about the relationship was not true. And so, like, it's not like, oh, like, oh, we were so close. No. You weren't. Oh, he was almost perfect. No. He wasn't. Like, the reality these aren't you like, again, we you're assessing the situation wrongly.

It felt like it was those things. It was not those things. And so, like, this is a zero regret situation. You walk away and just go, I totally misread that, and and I'm I gotta do something else. She she needs to attract she needs to approach men the way, Ben, you approach worship tunes. Uh-huh. Don't don't fall right away. Just kinda let let it soak in a little bit, kinda study a little bit, and then go, okay. Maybe. Yeah. I emote on Tuesdays. Yeah.

Don't don't be vibed into it. For sure. Actually, yeah. Like, broad point is like it's like a general marriage principle. Like, they should be postured towards you. Yeah. And, like, that like, the words come like, you can judge actions back and forth. You're both broken humans. Everybody's gonna have some disagreements, and, like, it's not how I see it. Whatever. But, like, you can tell when someone's postured towards you. Yeah. And, like, obviously, you are not. Like, he is not postured towards you. Yeah. Alright. Here we go. Last one. Yep. Dear life from the path. I work in an office with a man who has expressed an interest in me in various subtle and not so subtle ways, including winks. Is wait. Is that the subtle or the not subtle? Is

this third grade, or is this Undefined. Okay. Got it. Sorry. I have also caught him staring at me with intense longing. Ay yay yay. Oh, boy. Alright. Wuthering Heights. Go

communicate well, and he has told me I have influenced him. We are both disciplined, determined, and accomplished. I envy him for his easy smile, his self confidence, and his effortless universal appeal. The man is married with grown children. Oh.

I am a widower, 21 older than him. I am prepared to say to him, you are spoken for, and I am not a home wrecker. If you're ever single again, you and I should have a serious conversation. Uh-huh. But unless that day comes, much will remain unsaid. Jeez. I suspect This is a story. This is not a I suspect the two of us would have a good life together. Oh. I do not believe I am misreading his intent.

Have you any advice for me? Hey. Here's the thing. I mean, I I might have to step out because, like, this romance is white hot. He approached her and said, you influenced me. While looking longingly. Yeah. With a subtle wink. Oh

my. Tell him to leave his wife directly. Yeah. I mean, Nathaniel, go ahead. What kind of advice do you have for this lady? I don't know. She just seems so old. Okay.

Irrelevant detail number one. I'm sorry. Yeah. Just stay away. You know, if he's got a wife and kids Yeah. Just cut a trail. Yeah, man. I think she's projecting her loneliness onto him. Yeah. Yeah. You think she's making it up? Yeah. I think she is. Oh. Oh. She says she does not misread his intention.

Yeah. She doesn't think so. She does. He was probably thinking about Doritos looking at he just happened to look at her direction. Got a gnat in his eye. And then, like, he was staring at a sheer boredom and, like, he was looking at the clock who hap what happens to be by her desk. Exactly. You know I'm saying? Like, I don't know. I would not say all these poetic things. Like, there's no coming back from it. Once you once you done spilled that cookie jar open, I feel like if you have misunderstood this thing, okay, what's the best way to get to the bottom of it? Or is our advice like, you're not getting to the bottom of anything. Right. He's married. Yeah. It doesn't matter. You're out. Leave it alone. Barbara. Yeah. Yeah. You're not the it's it's not your responsibility to teach him a lesson or out him in front of everybody or whatever. You just are you need to cut a trail in that situation and have nothing to do with it. Yeah. Yeah. Here yeah. At the end of the day, you can only buy what's on the sales floor. You don't get to go rooting around in the storage room for next month's goods. And at the end of this, dude is not on the sales floor. He's right. He's not available to you. He's not on the market. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, yeah, yeah, you need to stay out of this completely. Yeah. Hop on bluehairsmangle.org.

Okay. Says, this younger colleague may be as attracted to you as you are to him. However, he could also consider you nothing more than a valued mentor. Because he is married, I'm concerned that if you say what you are thinking, it could disrupt your working relationship or even be considered harassment. Do not jeopardize your job by doing it.

Yeah. I agree. Would there be like, I I suppose if he becomes if he's more explicit at some point and you need to respond very clearly, then fine. I don't he's probably flirting with her in an innocent way thinking there's not like we're ever going to do anything. I'm married. She's old. We're fine. Yeah. She a safe place for his approach. Yeah. Just like,

You know? I mean Oh, that's interesting. It's just like these preachers. Yeah. She looking in the mirror in the morning going, hey, man, Fox. Look at this. You know what I'm saying? And this dude's like, oh, oh. You know I'm saying? And so, like, they're approaching it way differently here. He's he's he's trying to to just kinda compliment her or make her feel good about herself. He he's not intending

to do anything. Actually, so this is true. Like and and, like, the people definitely act this way. Right? Like, I feel very comfortable complimenting anyone 12 and under and then 60 and over. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, that's a nice sweater. Did you get your haircut? It looks really you look really nice today. Anyone in that middle range, I'm out. I think there's a year old looking at you thinking, I think he likes me. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, you just like especially little kids, like like, oh, I like that that pretty coat you have on, like when they're eight. Yeah. You know what saying? It wouldn't even think twice about it. But like, I would not make the same compliment to a 22 year old girl. Right. Right? Weird. And so, like, I like, yeah, I think you're right. This dude looks at her and goes, safe range. Like, I can say nice things. I don't know about this winking. This feels like it's this feels like that like, if if that was your not subtle, the winking was the not subtle one, you're grasping at straws. Winking is definitely in the subtle category for sure. It's not overt. Nice blouse, Deborah.

Did you wink back? You didn't include that story. You know I'm saying? Yeah. Have ever winked at someone unintentionally? No. I have. Done done what? But Have you ever winked at someone unintentionally? Oh, I maybe. I don't know. Yeah. I've never winked at someone on purpose. I mean, like, that's just

unless I was joking with my wife. Hey, baby. You know what mean? I wink at people all the time. Intentionally? Yeah. Yeah. I tell you I do.

I walk around at work, and I wink at people. Hell, yeah. Freaks them out. It is it is it does put a big question mark. There's all kinds of things that you could be like, hey. I'm gonna go hit the vending machine. You want anything? Wink.

And you're like, what are we doing? What are talking about right now? There's nothing funnier than seeing a bunch of, like, grizzly mechanics come around and have give them a wink. Some eyebrows.

It's awesome. I did I I don't remember the context, but I for some reason, acts like I don't wanna say accident. I did not intentionally wink, but like I said something to someone and then winked and I thought, oh, no.

Yeah. No. What do I do now? I don't here's the thing. I didn't whatever the situation was, it was awkward enough that, like, I did not wanna, like, oh, hey. I didn't real I really didn't mean to wink there because then it then it felt like super awkward. Dude, I would have the other eye. Yeah. Yeah. Would have fainted something in my eye for sure. I'd be like, oh, man. Dusty in I made, like, a big show of it in case they were walking away. I'm going out to my car.

Drive away immediately. I gotta seem like you gotta twitch. Do it with both eyes. Dude, you had to keep that up for years. Jesus was right. Have a plank in my eye. Eye. Alright.

Okay. Hey. I don't know if you wanna submit your waking story on this complaint line, but go ahead and do that. 515 I don't remember. 517-0085. Call or text. That's live from the Path Complete line. Or if you just have any feedback on the show, we'd love to hear it. Otherwise,

we're gonna cut you loose. I appreciate you hanging out with us, and we'll be back some week perhaps next. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to live from the Path.