Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live live from the The Path.

And you're listening to live from the Path, coming from the Pathway Studios here in Johnston Proper. If I could see you, I'd hug you. That's just the way I am. I'm a people person, Mike. Seek, seeing somebody and hugging them are two different things, Ben. I feel like that's not a qualifier. Fair enough.

Alright. Hey. It's good to be with you, and, thanks for hanging out. You're either on live from thepath.org. It's Monday night. It's 10PM. You put the kids down. You have a little bowl of oatmeal, maybe some grits, and you sit down for some live from the path with friends. Or it's Saturday at 7PM. You're having a little, beef jerky. That's what happens on Saturdays. What's up on Saturday? Oatmeal on the weekdays, jerky on the weekends. You really live for the weekend. It's gotta be in La Vigas. And here's the deal. If you're listening on KTIA, it is Saturday at seven. You might be driving in the car. Be careful with that beef jerky. That's just like texting and driving. Yeah. It's the same problem. That'll knock you off. That's why the macho man eats the beef jerky outside of the drive. He wears the reflective clothes just to win his car. People get emergency workers can flag him down. Easy. Alright.

Here's what got going on the show tonight. Lots of cool stuff. It's a I call it the battle show. This is the show of battles. Here first, John Wagner is here. Hey, John. How's it going, buddy? Okay. That's John over there. He just started talking, and you'll, you'll hear more of his. Are me and John battling? No. Well, maybe. We'll see how the show goes. I was I'm very scared right now. I'm very scared. So here's here should be, John. Here's the battles for tonight. I wanna talk about grace versus, conviction. Not not grace. Guilt.

That was not a topic. I'm trying to see how that Not it. Ten seconds. Jesus wins. Crap. I'm a start over. I'm a working man. You're listening to Library. Alright. So we're gonna do guilt versus conviction. Yeah. And we got some secular versus Solomon. That's a game. You can play along in the home game. I'm gonna give you a proverb,

and you're gonna tell me whether there's a biblical set of wisdom or a worldly set of wisdom. If it's a worldly set of wisdom, non biblical, you gotta tell me the country of origin origination. Yeah. It's rough. Alright. And we'll walk through that. There's gonna be 10 of those. You guys on the chat can play along. And you guys in the car, put down the Slim Jim. Don't count more than more than your fingers can handle. Also generally count to 11 with a beef jerky in your true. You know what I'm saying? 10 fingers, one jerky, unless you eat the jerky. Oh, better It's gonna run the game solid.

And third, there's an article out on the belief blog that I'm a little interested called Birds of the Bible. And we're gonna do pigeon versus dove, holy spirit edition. Just said the the translation of the dove really is is more likely as a pigeon, a rock pigeon.

And so we're gonna walk through that. Where did you get your thoughts? Who cares about that, Ben? I don't know. It's there there's a whole there's a whole thing about birds of the bible. They talk about pigeons and vultures and chickens and stuff. Pretty close, though? Pigeons and doves anyway? I mean Yeah. Yeah. I I and maybe it matters. Maybe it doesn't. But we're That one might not have any legs, man. We're good. I'm looking forward to it, though. Oh, yeah. Hey. Things you didn't know before you came in here. Was that a conviction? I feel guilty.

And then we're also gonna do we'll have some Dear Life from the Path? Dear Life from the Path. We'll get some pope style advice. We'll get that in. And also, five ways potentially five ways that young men could matter. Yeah. I anticipated having five ready. I may be at three, 3.5. So, anyway, if you wanna only kinda matter, stick around, young man. We're gonna talk about it.

Alright. I tell you what. Let's get this out of way in case it's really distinks. No. Don't sober that bird. We're start with the birds. Alright. So here we go. This is on the our article in the bleep blog today. Let's talk about birds of the vile.

What have I agreed to? Can we stop for second? Birds, Wagner. Yeah. What's going on? I brought you in as the bird man. Oh, man. Alright. Alright. Here we go. Pigeon so, anyway, there's a list. We're not gonna go through all the birds here, but it talks about pigeon. Take the one bird everyone thinks they know, the dove. In each of the four gospels, proven by instant research by me and John and Pantsola before the show started, In all four of the gospels, the spirit of God shows up at Jesus' baptism in the form of a dove. In the popular imagination, this holy spirit dove is Snow White.

K? But non capitalized. I've seen it in the movies. That's right. But but the bird at the baptism was more likely a rock dove, a species much more prevalent in Palestine. These birds are gray with an iridescent green and violet neck. It's a technicolor holy spirit. Can I stop that right there? Yeah. Let's have it. Here's the deal. The holy if if the god wants to send something, the cultural location at the time is really of no concern to him. You know know what saying? If he wanted to send a rhinoceros that is, you know, androgynous towards the South America, he could have done it. That's true. Because that that's like saying the son of God when it would says the son of God appeared and it was a man, they can make these well, you know, man isn't known to this region. It was more likely a turkey. Yeah. That's what that's the kind of stuff I'm saying. God will send whatever he wants, whenever he wants. And whether the the dove is native to the area or not, I I really don't think it's relevant. Though most of us have separate categories for pigeons dirty and doves pure,

ornithologists would tell you the names are interchangeable. That means the symbol for the holy spirit is just a hair's breath away from the symbol of urban trashiness. The dove has come to seem a bit bland as far as Christian symbols go. That's true. I've never seen a I've never seen it on, like, a Pentecostal church with a big pigeon on it. I'm just saying. Doesn't have They just usually do the outline of the bird. It's usually you use can't even you can't even tell what kind of bird it was. He's generally white. It's generally a white bird. Maybe it would be helpful to imagine the Holy Spirit is a pigeon instead of a dainty white bird. I was right about this thing not having any legs. Wait. You're not it's not not done. Alright. Alright. Pigeons are ubiquitous. You hear me?

Do you hear me or don't you hear me? I was really hoping you'd say this for the end. They are forever leaving dropping. Alright. It's done. Forget the bird. Totally could have left. It was at the end. Yeah. I could have walked out. Yeah. See, Weidner could have gone away. The spirit of god descends like a pigeon, always underfoot? It's been it's just not important. No real it's just not important. So it's just getting a lot of, play on? No. I mean, no one's talking about it all. Kind of religious big hats are sitting around discussing this? Nobody cares. You know? I just I can't I it said it late. In in fact, most of the gospel say, like a dove.

It doesn't necessarily literally a dove. It says like a dove. I don't know. That seems a little cheap. That's like if I saw a cardinal in the back and I said, hey, man. It's a bird like a like a black dove. Describing a bird an action. It's red. Yeah. Say say descended like a dove, like, in the manner of a dove. Do doves descend differently than pigeons? Apparently. God said so. I always think a pigeon's a little bit heavier. That's terribly And doves a little bit lighter. Discriminatory. It's fat pigeons. I was just saying. Like a pigeon's a beer bellied dove. Yeah. They they sit around in the park bench, and the old guy fed feeds him bread, and the dove just floats around like, yeah. I got a good life. Yeah. I've never seen a dove eat gum off the sidewalk. A pigeon does that three days out of 10.

You're listening to life on the pathon lifeonthepath.org. Here's the deal. Usually, within five minutes of the show, you can discern whether you've made a mistake or not. Go ahead and tally them up. I feel like you're on mistake. Okay. That's fair. That's fair. What an unusually odd way to start a show. Alright, Mike. What do you got for me? Okay. So

we're on the why don't you do the guilt versus conviction, which was the main draw? Oh, sorry. What do you got? Tell me talk talk to me about it. Okay. So I was we were talking about it this week a little bit on we're rounding up a little bit of teaching on, God's heart on things. And sometimes,

I think people gets, I I don't know, messed up a little bit in their thinking about, guilt versus conviction. Usually, people are really offended. You know, like like, name the top three sermons that people don't wanna hear. Right? When the tithes sermon comes up, usually, twice a year, they're like, oh, why are guys doing the tithes? I talk about demoniac all the time. Blah. Same thing when it comes to any type of sexual immorality. No one wants to talk about that. Yeah. You and and and that that covers a lot of ground. That's usually probably three, four sermons a year. People hate that. They're they're like, all you guys wanna do is talk about sex around here, you know. And then, you know, and the third one is any type of you you you know, helping other people. They're just generally not digging on that. They start to feel convicted, I don't do this enough. And and, you know, I'm I'm just I I don't wanna hear about this. Right? And and I I think I think it just depends on where you're sitting when you hear the information. Right? But I I think a lot of people take guilt and then they attribute that to people trying to make them feel a certain way. Like trying to elicit response out of either by, you know, their presentation being particularly drawing in a certain direction. And they're like, you're trying to sell me something. You're trying to make me feel this way. And I I think a lot of conviction gets hidden under perceived guilt and gets shoved to the side. Like, some of those things are not people poking you in the side and saying, hey,

you know, you're guilty of this. You should feel bad. It's really the Holy Spirit going, hey, this is separating you from the father. I need you to pay attention to what to what's going on here. And so I I think the question on the table was is like, what is is there a good biblical way to discern that, right, between feeling guilt and and and actually feeling conviction about something? John, what do think? I like what you someone said. You said something that separates you from the father. I mean, if something makes me feel guilty, I I don't know exactly where you're going with this when we started, but, you know, I today, I came home from lunch. I had 4,000 chips. Right. It was my I felt guilty. Sure. You know, but I didn't feel That does seem a bit extreme. Yeah. I know. I'm sorry about that. Like starting a radio show with a bird conversation. Ubiquitous. But I didn't feel convicted necessarily by it. Right. You know, I felt guilty for doing something something silly. But once I start to begin to be separated from the father, whether it's by an action or an inaction,

by something someone has said or something I feel like, you know, you mentioned kind of in my side, like, man, maybe I should be thinking about that. Yeah. I know at that moment that I need to get back and listen, get back to my bible, get back and think about, do I feel guilty about something that maybe someone's trying to make me feel? Know? You pushing me somewhere? Just you're trying to get me to give Right. Trying to get me to stop doing whatever I'm doing, trying to get me to help people, or really is God trying to tell me, this is a plan I have for you. There's something better for you. You know, you need to be into something else. And then that's when you just gotta listen. You gotta listen. You gotta pray. You gotta discern. You know, I think that with guilt and conviction, another word that goes right along with those, for me anyway, is confession. Yeah. And that's kinda how how I'd like to measure those two things as well. So if it's something I need to confess about, chances are I'm being convicted. No. That's actually that's actually true too. It's like, if it's something that you don't wanna tell someone else about, like, I mean, after a while, like, there's a reason that that that that God spreads your relationship out with other people. Right? Especially the people that you probably, a, like, have sinned against. Right? Oh, absolutely. Like and so it's a two part. Like, when you when we're talking about that that that you've separated yourself from God through a sinful behavior or or something that you've done,

you know, there there's a reason that generally repentance means not only confessing it to to to God and let and letting, Christ take that weight off of you, but you gotta tell the person that you that you sinned against. Yeah. That one is generally harder. Right? Because I know that I'm going to a grace filled father, and and he loves me no matter what. Right? The guy on the other end of my apology may not feel the same. And so, like, that starts to get really hard. And when you're like, when you come up against something, you're like, I don't mind telling God about this, but I'm gonna have a hard time telling so and so this is what I did. I feel like that's generally a pretty broad, but but accurate qualifier for

conviction. Like Oh, absolutely. This is something that you wanna be paying attention to. Right? And and when it fits just something like like we were talking about it was orphan Sunday last week. Right? And so, you know, a lot of churches, including our own, had had had a talk about orphans and and whatnot. And, like, what you generally find when people talk about, adopting or impoverished nations or or this kind of thing is is like Dan always brings up. It's always the kid with the fly in his eye and the ribs, you know, the ribs hanging out. And it's it's meant to Insight emotion. Yeah. I feel like it's not it's not really meant to convict you. It's meant to guilt you. You know? And and, like, here's the truth of the matter. Right? It's like and and and this happens for across Christchurch. Right? Not everybody not everybody is gonna be doing this. Right? Not everybody's gonna be involved

in that particular ministry. There's gonna be a lot of them because God's heart's there. Right? And there's things for you to do. Right? But when people say this applies, it it always makes me really weary when people show up and say, this applies to everybody. Because I don't know what God's got you doing. Maybe God's got you, you know, you like, mentoring to or ministering to abuse victims or the poor just right down the street, not the poor in the middle of Africa, you know. I can't discern that for you because I don't know that answer, you know. And so and and and people I think sometimes they oversell it with the guilt, you know, like, guilty about this. Do this, you know. All you can basically do is point out God's heart and say, ask him. That's that and that's that's where you find guilt versus versus conviction. And I think the whole thing there is is, the pursuit of trying to be, to try to understand God's heart and and to and with a genuine desire, to have that as well. Right? Like, that's the that's the whole thing about,

about repentance is is I'm turning from whatever it is that my heart is in and that my thoughts are in and trying to align myself with God. And I'm not doing it because someone's pointing a finger at me. I'm doing it because I recognize that God's heart, is is ultimately a more joyful direction, is ultimately a more beneficial direction. Right? God's not shaking his finger at me like trying to grab my arm and drag me around the store like a like a parent. You know? I can see in my own life to have a desire to say, whatever God's heart is, I wanna be on board with that. And when he calls me to holiness because he's holy, I say, like, again, that's not a finger shake. It's a, why wouldn't I wanna be what God has called me to be? And that he's that he can work through my life and and and help me to become and align myself with that.

And so, you know, I I think a lot of that that guilt stuff is where you you're kinda just decided to sit in it. And and if your attitude is that I don't really wanna align myself with the heart of God, you'll you'll have guilt because now you got two problems. Right? One, I'm not aligned with the heart of God. And two, I don't care to be. And I think that that kinda sits in yourself as as both guilt and conviction. And I think it's what you do with it after that that kinda ultimately ends up where they how you label it. Right? Yeah. Like, so so what what do you do from there? Once you feel that I mean, conviction, you can let go of. Conviction can be repented of, and you can move forward from. Guilt, you just tend to hold on to, or you have to ignore, which doesn't solve the the base issue that was going on to begin with. Yeah. Guilt guilt is kinda kinda cheap. You know, it's just a a a fleeting moment. It's it's an emotion. It's a it's not based on reality necessarily. It's based on you know, hey. I had an emotional story at the end of the sermon, and it had the the the keyboard hit nice little e minor chord and, you know, it's got people crying. They all felt guilty and bad, and they

made all kinds of promises to do things they're never gonna really do. Yeah. You know, that that that's not that's guilt. That's not conviction. Conviction leads to to change and and a closer relationship with Christ and, it's transformation. And so so you have to be careful even as if you're putting if you're presenting materials, you know, are are you showing the the dude with the fly on the head to to produce guilt? Or

legitimately, that's happening No. That's true. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. So you it's how you present it. But when you got the music in the background and, you know, you're $29. What you know? You you just Yeah. Like, are here's the deal. Are you taking the devil's tactics in fooling people? Yeah. Right? Because the devil's good at fooling people. He's done it for years. Yeah. You know? And so, like, are we, as God's people, taking the devil's tactics in in in a cheap, guilt ridden mindset?

Are we trying to get you to change your mind based on the devil's influential tactics, or we just do it with what God says and say, look, here's God's heart on the matter. What do you wanna what what does he want you to do? I would much rather have you say, here. Here's the facts. Here's a legitimate need. This is happening. Please spend some time in prayer. Is God calling you to do something about this? Right. And if he is, you know, that's not the that's not a good closer for a sale, though. You know? Yeah. You're not gonna spend money on a advertisement and get as much return. And I suppose that's the thing is, like, we spend a lot of time trying to show you how much someone is an orphan or a widow as opposed to saying, God's heart is for widows and orphans. There's widows and orphans over there. Help them out. Right. You know what saying? Like, our distinction is whether they exist. I think a lot of times, advertisement and pamphlets and stuff focus on how much of an orphan they are. Because we have to have that separation. Like, we have to be able to understand what that gap is. That's what makes us feel guilty. It isn't seeing the fly or seeing the child who's sick. It's knowing that we're not. Yeah. And that's what makes you feel guilty. Is that kind of realization that, wait a minute, time out. I have it so much better and I shouldn't. Right. Right. You're beginning to feel guilty. But when we allow that guilt to be transformed into conviction, something else can happen. Maybe you don't go help that orphan, but maybe you realize you need to live, you know, more frugally. Right. You realize you need to live live more sacrificially. Maybe you give to other people. It may not be the orphan. It just may be in in the rest of your life. And so I think we can use guilt. You know, it can be righteous. It can lead us back toward the father. It may not even be for what, you know, the conviction we think it was intended to be for. So Yeah. I mean, a a light into your path will also reveal stumbling blocks. I mean, you'll see them and you and you, you know, when you when you recognize you have the the option to walk around them or stand there in front of it and let it do it. And I think a lot of times, we reach for the, you know, don't tase me, bro. Don't guilt me, bro. Be because don't tase me, bro.

Because, like, we're legitimately fighting off conviction. We've labeled it as guilt. It's appropriately conviction. And, especially in our in our Western society,

you know, like, we've we've taken this we've taken this this deal where we we just we don't deal with that very well. We we are rightfully convicted on many things, especially when it comes to wealth and possessions. We get we've become very comfortable, even especially in the church, to have certain sins that we will we won't take, you know. You need to you can't be living with your girlfriend if you're gonna attend here. You know, certain sins were like, you know, we you know, you really can't be comfortable with that. But, you know, you have idols. You got you know, you worship possession. You wanna keep your wealth. Come right on in. Right. You wanna keep money as your idol? That's okay. We all got that problem. Yeah. We It's fine. Exactly. And so, like and that's the thing. It's like, our sins, become comfortable with, and we'll invite you into the community. We'll deal with that together as a group very, very slowly. That's why we're working on this thing. It's a Yeah. But that sin that you're doing, that's gonna stop right now. Everybody's posture gets better when someone else is sinning in a way that you don't. Yeah. And the problem is is that you you can you can sit in in pews in most churches. And I mean, this is broad. I'm I'm I'm painting this very broadly, but, like, you can be very comfortable idolizing wealth and possessions

and and and and maybe not feel it so much as, the sexual sins or, I I don't know, holding anger, holding stuff against your brother. You know I'm saying? Like, you can you can be a lot more comfortable with that kind of stuff. Yeah. And and a lot of it is because, not because it's not being said, but because you have this filter that says, things are just different here. Things are just The social norm. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's I I make a normal amount of money compared to everybody else. I'm not rich by any means. Yeah. It's true. It does take more money to live here. You know,

the the kid in Somalia might be able to get by on $3 a month, and $30 might be rich, but, like, you simply will just be another man's burden at $30 a month here. I get you. No. That's true. There's no reason to be unreasonable about this thing. You know? But, like Yeah. It takes a lot of money to afford my Lexus. That's right. How can I pick up people on the street if I don't have a giant minivan plated in gold? But the the relative nature on what we're willing to be convicted convicted by in a society like ours is a is a very dangerous relativism that we've largely accepted, as something that we'll work on over time. As something that doesn't have to doesn't have to be a stumbling block to me. It's just a general incline on the path. It's supposed to slowly make make me slow down, and I'll I'll eventually deal with it when I'm 16 retired and not bringing any more income. Well, to the point where when you hear, like, a Francis Chan talk about selling his house and downsizing and living in a hole or something, you're like, that's just creepy. I'm telling you guys out really just wrong with that guy. You know? It's like He seems kind of on it. I mean, making some good moves, I guess. You know? And then but people are like, here's what I know. I asked the Holy Spirit if I just sell my place, and he definitely said no. Yeah. He said I should stay here. Yeah. I I said, dear lord, is it okay if I'm creeped out by Francis Chan? And I didn't really hear anything, so I just assumed it's probably alright. I clearly heard you need a new addition. Where are gonna house all these people, man? Yeah. And, you know, the reason this came up is because I talked to some fellas. You know, because I I I get the I get the the random kickback from dudes, you know, because we we probably do a tithing sermon a couple times a year. We probably do a I mean, sexual immorality will show up a little bit more often because, I mean, Jesus talks about it. Right? Jesus talks about money more than anybody else. And so, you know, there'll be random people, you know, kicking rocks out in the lobby and got, you know, like a a tithing. And you and I I I just wanna look at them and go, do you know why we're still you know why we have these tithing sermons? Because people still aren't doing it. You know what I'm saying? Because God said to do it, and and and we're having a hard time. Right? I I you wanna talk about legalism and the 10% or whatever? I know, whatever. That's a conversation we can have. Right? But, like, the fact that that that the money is your current god, that's why you're in the lobby kicking rocks. You know what I'm saying? People are like, you all they wanna do is talk about sex. That's usually coming from the guy that wants to be left alone in his immorality. He just wants to be able to do what he wants and is tired of people looking down on him. Well, here's the deal. Like, our job is not to is not to really, you know, make you feel bad about the person that you are. It's to make you feel good about the God that you serve and the grace that is offered to you and realize that you don't have to feel like you're feeling right now. You don't have to. Right? You could choose to, but you certainly don't have to. And that's what the that's what those that's what those messages are inviting you to. You know, it's not inviting you to guilt. It's inviting you to repentance in that conversation you don't wanna have with your wife. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's what the invitation is. And like anybody who's gone through that will tell you that on the other side of that, man, grace is sweet. You know I'm saying? It really is sweet. And, like, I I think that you never you never can imagine that it can be. You know? You're just sitting on one side going, you're trying to make me feel guilty. You don't like the way I live. And the truth of the matter is, God wants you to be closer to him and what you're doing is is obstructing that. That's what we want for you. You know what saying? We want you to know the father. We want you to know, what Jesus looks like and what his love feels like. And you don't know what you're missing out until you're willing to give up what you got. Right. And the and the the the broad difference between condemnation,

and the opportunity for restoration is basically your view, of wanting to be to come back to the father. Right? Like, if you're seeking God's heart, I I I see very few things ever as condemnation. Right? Because, like, what I'm pursuing is simply a way to to become closer to my heavenly father and to to take care of any gaps that I've created in between that. And, but condemnation

tends to show up when when you you wanna argue with God about it. When God says these are the things that were that are that are separating us, are making you, your heart different from my heart. And when I wanna argue with him about it, I feel condemned because I feel like God is not agreeing with me. But, like, God is right. I I mean, if I'm from the right perspective, God is correct. I'm not. And so there's no reason for me to feel condemned. I stand corrected and restored from seeing the difference. And I I I think that's generally the gap. I I'm, you know, I am I am very rarely am I in a place where I'm like, boy, I just feel really down in the dumps because as sin is highlighted in my life, I think, boy, I'm glad I know about that. I'm glad I see that the way God sees it. And, and then I know what I can be praying for help for restoration from that thing that I'm that I'm struggling with, to be closer to God's heart on it. Yeah. How do we translate that though? Because I think there's a fear. You know, guilt is something we can get comfortable with if we still have our money, if we can still be sexually immoral Right. If we don't have to help other people. We can kind of compartmentalize our guilt, put it on a shelf, and only have to think about it when the preacher calls it out. Right. You know, we're scared. I'm not gonna say we. People are scared that when they get rid of that guilt, what's gonna be left? What happens when I don't have money then? What happens when I don't have that immorality outlet? What happens when I actually have to help someone? Is it scary or you know, I don't like to we don't like to talk about condemnation. We don't like to talk about Yeah. Angering the father, but at the same time, you know, we're we're so scared of what life might be like when we do the right

that we we don't even fear the condemnation anymore. We just compartmentalize it Yeah. Put it away and say, I'm guilty and I'll deal with it. You know? You know what? That's that's, I mean, that's amazingly close to the truth. Right? Like you talked about about anybody that has that has an addiction or has come off an addiction or gone through an addiction. Like, they'll they'll tell you why they're why they're looking at at at at the precipice of making a decision. They're like, it almost breaks you down. You're like, I honestly don't know how to live without this. Yeah. Like, I don't know how to do it. I I'm you know, I I hear what you're saying. I wanna change. I you know, I I wanna get rid of it. I have no idea how to live my life without this sin in it. I just don't. And, you know, and and, I mean, that's that's an excellent spot to, you know, where where, know, some people in the church can really be your walk through. Right? And it's gonna be hard. It it really is. It is hard because you're basically I mean, when God says, look, I I I don't prune trees. I I I plant new ones. Right? You come in here and you and you wanna go through the car wash and God says, new car. That's it. I go from the roots up. I go from the tires to the top. That's the way I change. Right? And so, like, that's the kind of change you need because if you take, say, an ex addict of just about anything and put them in new clothes and fancy shoes, you just have an addict in a, you know, in a different a different get up. It's the same. You know? And so, like like, I I totally agree with you. I know I I mean, I've been through that. I know what that looks like. I know what it looks like to to to be on one side of an addiction go, I I just I don't know how to live without this. I just I wanna get rid of it. I just don't know how to live without it. It's taken up my entire life for five It's six years. It's it's you know, think of the language that you're using. That is exactly the swap that God is after. Right? Is to swap whatever that is for him. I don't know how to live without this. I don't know like, if I'm on the precipice, I wouldn't even know where to go if I didn't have this. That's what Jesus is asking for. Think of when he when he when he says, take up your cross. Right? That's not a it's not in the salvation picture when he's saying it. He's saying yourself. Yeah. Exactly. I mean cross. And, like, the whole that whole sections,

actually, most of Matthew is is pointing to complete reliance on me. Like, are you willing to when when he talks about, you know, lilies of the field, and he's talking about providing food and demonstrates that through, like, the fishes and loaves and stuff. What he's saying is, like, can you rely on me for absolutely everything? And that same like, he's asking to swap that out. I don't think that becomes any less scary. Like, I I I don't know what where your faith has to be for that not to be a a daunting thing because I've we've just come to rely on other things, relying on money. It's it's not a particularly Scrooge McDuck dude who's, like, relying on money. Like, that's a that's the basic transaction in our world in which how I get food and how I get shelter and stuff. And and and Jesus is saying, I know, And I'm asking you to rely on me. And and I think the the very thing that is so scary about that is dead true. It's dead truth. I think it's what he's actually asking for you to do. That's the full weight of that of actually having faith and trust.

And and I think, I don't I think everybody struggles with that. That's why he's talking about it. And it and it is a very scary thing is to think, like, if I jump from this thing and I leave the thing that is part of my whether I want it to be or not, is part of my identity and I leave from this thing. What what will be left? And and if God is if God is there to catch me, awesome. But if there's, you know, you you're relying on a God that you haven't had an established relationship with to be the one that catches you, and that's a that is a jump. That's the faith. That's the faith part of it. And if you sit in a faith community, it doesn't have anyone doing it with you. Yeah. Then you're alone. Right. You know what mean? You got nobody to turn to why it's so important. These conversations right here are why it's so important. Yeah. Have people around you who will say, hey. Don't worry. It's gonna be scary. I've I've done that. Well, that's the been there. That's the thing is if you're currently in a faith in a faith community, right, you know, you just double check and humble yourself to make sure that you that that you are available for that conversation.

Don't be the guy that's like, I figured it out and say, brother, I've been where you at. Let's do this thing. I'll do it again with you. Right. You know? Right. And and so and I don't know. So if you had to boil this whole whole conversation down, if you're talking about guilt versus conviction, let you know, here's where here's where I think that the line is. Right? Is first of all, it it really helps if you know God's word. Right? It really helps if you know what God is asking of you and and and the person and the work of Jesus Christ. Only because it's it it helps to vet out where the devil can make you feel guilty where it's not warranted. You know I'm saying? Where he can drag you down and make you feel worse than you are and that you're not worth anything. God says otherwise. So that can get rid of that right off the bat. Second of all, if you're feeling guilty, don't be so quick to kick that to the curb.

I would pray on it and ask ask if it's true. And if God says it's true, then you got tough conversations ahead, and you'll come out on the other side, with a lot more glory to God and a lot more joy to you. I and I I had that thought because, you know, we went through the with with the adoption stuff and the orphan stuff. Like, my wife and I have kinda talked about that, and we've prayed on it. And, like, I I got nothing. I feel like that's just not in the cards for us. It might still be. We we keep praying on it. But, like, I'm not I'm open. I just feel like it's something that you know? Yeah. Right. If God's got me doing it, then I'm I'm for it, and he'll figure it out. If not, then I'm supposed to be rocking somewhere else. I don't spend I don't spend days thinking like, it could we you know, we have covered it this Sunday. I didn't think, oh, man. I really should be different because I thought, I'm open. Yeah. I'm not saying You want me do it? I'll do it. You don't care. I you want me to do something else? I'll do that. Yeah. And so but but I think that's the difference is, like, if you're really open to letting God do what he wants to do, you don't have to walk around with this heavy heart that's, like, that sees everything that goes on. It's like, oh, Lord's upset because I didn't do this or that. Because, like, if I'm doing what God wants me to do, I gotta assume that he's part of the faith isn't just for me. Part of it is saying, if I'm relying on him for food and shelter,

I have to rely that he's got something going on. And if he's if he wants me in it, I'm willing to go. But if he's not calling me to that, I gotta assume he's taking care of it. And so yeah. You you mentioned something a couple minutes ago that that that was pretty key, being a community where you can be honest. You know? Because one of the struggles is in a lot of church settings is everybody's trying so hard to to appear to have it all together that we're not very honest with each other. You've gotta be in a setting whether you know, listen. You don't have to be honest with the whole entire church type of thing. But, mean, you you got hey, everybody. The deal. Let me tell you about my you know. I mean,

you you you have to be with a group of people that you can you can be honest with and be in community with and and and say, hey. I'm struggling with with this drug addiction or this alcohol you know, whatever it is that's going on. And, that is just so key. You got you've got to find that connection Yep. To help you through that zone. And we talked a little about present guilt, but I don't think we can forget about past guilt either. A lot of guys I talked to are struggling with guilt or things they've done. They don't know the love of God Sure. The real forgiving Yeah. Graceful love of God, and so they're dwelling on things ten, twelve years ago, you know. Right. I did this thing to my wife a long time ago. I said I was sorry, she forgave me, but I can't get over it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, go back to God. Know, God said he forgave you. God says in the word that if you confess your sins, he is faithful and forgives you of those things. You have to move on. You have to forgive yourself. And you know you know That's what we were talking about about the devil though. Right? Like, that's the exact like, same when you read the that that's why the Bible is important. That's why God's word's important is because God said it was done. It's finished, he said. That's it. We're done. And so if you're still dragging that around, the only thing that's accomplishing is separating you from God because of the guilt and stopping you from telling other people about Jesus because you feel like you're not qualified. Yep. Satan may not be able to drag you out of the kingdom, but he could shackle you so that you're not a force for good in it. That's right. I mean I mean and and that's that's as effective as anything else at least trying to stop the movement of God's kingdom is try to shackle somebody and tie him down to something that says, God didn't let that go. It's not true. And ultimately, it will bear out that it's not true,

you know, at the end of your life. But as you sit with it, like, he's at least silenced you for a while because that you become way less bold when you're dragging that rock around with you. That's right. What if they find out that I did this thing, like, twelve years ago? They'll think of me. They'll think greater of Jesus. That's what you want. Yeah. And, you know, and that's the thing is is I was talking to somebody, you know, within the last few weeks, and I said, you know, what you feel and what is true tend to be different. Tend to like, whether you feel like you're forgiven is irrelevant to the fact as to whether you are forgiven. I said the truth is, is that right? Christ said it's taken care of. He said it's finished. Said I whether you like, you need to slowly they take whatever steps you need to take and process this so you align yourself with the heart of God that says that's finished. Because it's it's true whether you feel it or not, that thing has been forgiven. But recognize that you're being shackled by something that God never put on you. And, and and and sometimes that's a hard road because the guilt, the guilt from that kind of stuff makes sense because you realize that you wronged somebody. And and it it exists for good purpose for conviction, but like once once it's dealt with,

you have to let it go. And and sometimes that that will overwhelm someone and they become very ineffective for, being seeing both God's glory and his and your joy shine through that, more so because you've just been kinda shackled down with it. And it's a tough thing to to recognize,

but, know, that's where you get guys like like Paul who can walk, come out of that stuff and say, you know, no one's worse than me, but look how those glory shines through the things that I'm doing. Yeah. And, yeah. Yeah. Definitely. You're listening to live from the path, and, we're coming to you every Monday night here at, livefromthepath.org. We're Saturdays at 7PM at ninety nine point three KTIA. Quick shout out to our two great sponsors. You can, if you wanna gotta buy or sell a house, Bob Eisenhower is your man. Bob's been on the show. He's also been, done some real estate work for both Mike and I. Go to eisenhowerteam.com,

and, those guys will help you out in anything. And, Bob's just Bob's just a sweet potato. Yeah. He's better looking than you too, probably. So be prepared for that. Here's the deal. He was wasn't he named, like, the most one of the most, eligible guys a while back? Yeah. He's a sharp looking fella. He is. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Just keep that in mind. Don't I mean, I mean, just be prepared when you show up. He's he's gonna be better looking than you. Yeah. Yeah. So I put your humor a game on. You know what I'm saying? I'd be ready to show him up in some aspect, but looks wise. You're done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's anyway, eisenhowerteam.com. Bob will help you out. He's awesome at what he does. He's a great guy. And, make sure you use the Eisenhower team. Also, excuse me, Westfield Veterinary Hospital here in Johnson for all your pet needs. Yeah. They're better looking than you too, probably. Yeah. I mean, as a company. You gotta know your cards, man. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway You've been dealt the humble pie. You gotta rock it where it's at and pray the god will use it. He can do that kind of stuff. Yeah. He'll work he'll work your face for his good. Paul was an ugly man.

So, anyway, go to use those guys. So I'd like, I've I've taken pets, and they always had great service. They really, they take care of your pets. They take care of all my pets. And they'll the the cool thing is is they'll kinda lay it all out for you. Say, here's where you're at. Here's what here's what we'd recommend doing. They give you they give the pet your last name. It's like a nice personal touch. I really love it. Yeah. It is. Anyway, they take great McFoost. They great take great care of your animals, and that's Westfield Veterinary Hospital here in Johnston. Make sure you get hold even if you don't need to sell a house or take your cat in, you do need to take your cat in. I know you ain't done it for three years. That cat needs to go in. The economy's turned around, man. Yeah. This is the radio. Get your cat in there. Spend it while you got it. But but, actually, get ahold of both of those folks, the Eisenhower team and Westfield vet hospital. Say, hey. Soon as I buy a cat, I'll bring it in. But thank you for sponsoring Life for the Path and keeping us on the air. Those two folks are doing it. They're doing it graciously. Alright. If you are ready, you've accidentally stumbled onto America's fastest growing Internet game show, Secular

versus Solomon. And now for America's fastest growing game show, Secular or Solid one?

And remind you of the premise, here's what I'm gonna do with on Secular versus Solomon, I'm gonna give you a proverb, a bit of wisdom, and you need to tell me whether it is a secular bit of wisdom or whether it's a biblical bit of wisdom from Solomon. That's the game. You can play along on the chat, or if you're driving around your car, just keep an eye on the road.

Don't get too excited on secular versus Solomon. I don't want you running any no problems. Alright. We'll go around the studio. You guys ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. Alright. Here we go. Option number one, secular versus Solomon. Here we go. A lie travels around the world while truth is putting her boots on. A lie travels around the world while truth is putting her boots on secular or Solomon. Mike Foost. Not only do I feel like that is secular, but I might even know the man that pinned it. Okay? I think it's Winston Churchill.

So you're saying England? I'm saying you gotta give me country. Okay. Okay. Mike says secular England. I will say secular. Well, I'll say England because I have no idea. I think you should say England. Wagner with the bandwagon answer. Secular England. Dan Hudson. I'm I'm going secular, boy, it's hard for me to pinpoint the location. I'm I'm gonna go South Africa to be different.

I'm not sure that that seems like more like a region. That's more of a continent, isn't it? More of a yeah. So Botswana? Sure. Dan was in with Botswana. That's terrible guess, Dan. I've never heard of such a thing.

Okay. So a lie travels around the world while truth is putting her boots on. That is secular French. France, the I believe Winston Churchill was in France when he penned it. It's him. The French tell dirty lies that spread quickly around the world.

Alright. Here we go. Secular or Solomon, like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country, secular or Solomon. John? Solomon. John's in for Solomon. Dan Hudson. I am going Solomon as well. Solomon Mike Foust. So John did the confident Solomon look away.

I feel like I have no choice even though I don't know, really. I feel like it's Solomon. That's, three for three. Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so was good news from a far country is Solomon. Proverbs twenty five twenty five. Ben Wagner, That's the way we live right now. Love it or leave it. Here we go. Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil. Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil, secular or Solomon, Dan Hudson. I'm gonna go salt I mean, excuse me, secular with that, and

that that's gotta be Afghanistan. The Afghanis like two hands full of dirt, Mike Foust. I don't know. Toil. Solomon loves toil. I'm gonna go Solomon, Ben. Mike's in for style, Solomon. And John Wagner for the tiebreaker. Secular

India. Secular India. Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil couple times monkish. There's a couple opportunities for real embarrassment. That is Solomon. Ecclesiastes four six. I'm sorry. Seminary what? Seminary what? Anybody? He even called Ecclesiastes. Oh, that's good. I'm sorry. The ESV is where I go for information. What do say? Uni v indoctrinated.

Tasty. Here we go. Secular assault. Hold on. I need to repent of my pride. You mean to say go guilty? I got one of those hotel bibles. Just psalms. Don't know what they say. They cut out all the juicy parts.

Here we go. A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener. A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener, secular or Solomon. Mike Foust. My head I'm so confused, man. I'm gonna go with the secular and

Ireland. Secular and the goats in Ireland, the famous Irish ballad. John Wagner, a prudent man does not make the goat's gardener. Secular and Earl May. Earl May. That's not a country, Wagner. It's a region of Ankeny. There's a little Earl May shop right there. Wagner's a funny man.

He seems to be stuck in his ways. I'm gonna accept it. Dan Hudson. That is definitely a Mexican proverb. Secular. Potentially

offensive over generalization. A prudent man does not make the goat his gardener. Secular Hungarian.

Very close, John. They just opened the Earl May in the group. I was there for the ribbon. Wait. So I okay. What what is the point of that proverb? Prudent man does not make the goat his garden. The goat is not discerning on what he eats. To the ground. Didn't have to to the ground. I feel like, Mike, we've talked recently about you renting out your goats to do gardening at people's places. Well, here's the deal. I thought the goats would would would eat the lawn evenly,

but they only eat the weeds. And so they don't cut the grass. See. Well, time out. You bought goats to mow your lawn? Oh, no. I have goats. And they're they were more a gift for the kids from someone else. And now I tend to them, like David in the field without the success or grandeur.

It's more just the scoop. They don't they don't mention that in Samuel. I fought off a bear Yeah. And then scooped up the the pebbles. Yeah. They also like to eat your coat. Once again, David made no mention of any of this. That that's not true. They ate his coat, and then he had to give his tunic as well. He

was ahead of his time. Secular Solomon, sweet is the sleep of a laborer, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep. Sweet is the sleep of a laborer whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep secular or Solomon, John Wagner.

Solomon. I'm going with Solomon. He's in for a long ass Solomon. Dan Hudson. I'm there as well. Solomon. Piston Honda two eyebrows up Dan Hudson. Mike? I feel like the word fool was not in there, and I'm going with secular and, Tunisia. Out on a quiet dirty limb. Sweet is the sleep of a labor, whether he eats little or much, but the full stomach of the rich will not let him sleep.

Solomon, Ecclesiastes five twelve. That's your book. Oh. I I also have the Gideon question. My mistake. The bitter pill of error goes down so soft. Every time my relationship with the Lord fades, I start in Genesis, and I make it only three chapters in. And then I'm like, I'm gonna start my Bibles all over again. I'm really gonna get it.

Here we go. Secular Solomon, it is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats. It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats. Dan Hudson, secular Solomon. That is an old English proverb. Secular. The English have,

complacent horses. Mike. Secular Germany. Secular Germany. John Two Shoes Wagner. Wow. That's a new one. Yeah. I'm gonna go with secular and,

Scotland. No. Wait. Chicago. It is not the horse that draws the cart, but a police horse eating the oats. Secular

Russian. The Russians. What did I guess? I don't remember. My country? It it wasn't Russia. It's close. It wasn't right.

Don't Actually, here's the deal. I really liked this one. I thought that makes a lot of sense. The horse doesn't move on his own. He's he's working for the old bag. Yeah. But the but but the way that it reads, it sounds like the cart is moving because of the oats. Yeah. I didn't get that. Ultimately, it is because of the oats. Because without the oats, the horse doesn't horse doesn't move. Horse is dangling the carrot. You know? Yeah. It didn't hit me as hard as it hit you, apparently. Yeah. I'm just saying. I thought it was timely. That was kind of a pigeon versus dove for me. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, maybe I should've watched the news or something. Not channel five. To Secular, Solomon. Here we go.

That it always looks like they're broadcast in the closet. Yeah. It does. The words of the wise heard and quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools. The words of the wise heard and quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools, secular or Solomon John Wagner? I'm going Solomon again. Solomon, Dan Hudson. Solomon. Solomon and Mike Foost. It does have all the donkey tales of Solomon. I'm gonna go with Solomon as well. Three fools make three fools guessing Solomon. The words of the wise heard and quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools. It is indeed Solomon. Ecclesiastes nine seventeen. Yes. We totally nailed down. You and the I hope you're playing the home game. You hear toil and fools or vanities. That's probably Solomon. Yeah. We would do grown man high five after this. Go ahead. Secular or did I tell you when I was in The Philippines, I saw two guys give a high five on the same side of the body. So, like, it's opposite hands, but, like, they had to give it, and they both were, like, you know So that means one guy used his right hand, one used his left. Yeah. Here's that's awkward. It's it's awkward to do. It's even more awkward to look at. Like, it looks like they're part of a,

what's the Doublemint gum? The, the Spearmint? Yeah. Yeah. Wrigley Spearmint. So that's what it looks like. Like, they're part of a re a cheesy Wrigley Spearmint commercial, because it's that type of commercial that have two people high five on the same side of the body. Yeah. It was awkward. Anyway, I don't even know how you'd propose that to a man. Like, even in The United States, anytime I threw up one one arm, they would always cross arm. No one would do that. I'm just considering that a challenge. Yeah. Yeah. Every high five I get with the rest of the week, I'm gonna try to match up. Well, because he yeah. Well, what are you gonna do? Say, no. No. No, dude. The other one. See, I don't know if people The only time you legitimately do that with another fella is if you won a boxing match or something. Then they would grab, like, your arm or have connection with your arm and hold it up or if you had a shared victory. But a but a high five, a momentary, hey. How you doing? Just not gonna fly. That's because someone has to do it with their non skilled arm. Like, it'll they'll miss you something. Yeah. You're usually not face to face. You're usually kinda coming at each other or something. Or Yeah. The You know? It's Well, it's not like Laverne and Shirley, Dan. I don't know I don't know how you high five people. That seems awkward. Hey. Face me, friend. Turns a chest bump. Turn

yourself. We need to celebrate. Here we go. God gives every bird its food, but does not always drop it into the nest. God gives every bird its food, but does not always drop it into the nest. Secular or Solomon. Dan Hudson. That is a secular out of,

Indonesia. They need to work harder in Indonesia if they want food from the lord. Mike Foust. Secular Poland. Polish have the same problem. John Wagner. Secular Egypt. They don't call them two shoes for nothing. God gives every bird its food, but does not always drop it into the nest. That is secular

Danish. That's right next to Poland. Is it Danish? Have birds there? Yes. Pigeons only. No doves in the country. That's where the New Testament happened.

Here we go. Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a stench, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor. Dead flies make the perfumer's ointment give off a stench, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor. Secular or Solomon Mike. That that really does smell like Solomon. I'm gonna have to go Solomon on that one, Ben. Okay. John Wagner. Two for Solomon. Double on Solomon. Dave. I concur. What wait. What's the giveaway on the Solomon? It's the folly. Wait a Is fools in there as well? I remember the flies. No fools. Just remember that. I just thought that was cool. What's do dead flies really smell? I've never, like, walked by them like, is it there's a dead fly in here. Actually, that's a good question because, I've had a, like, a flytrap. You know, one of them ribbons or them cheese ball things you hang from the ceiling. Yeah. And I they probably gotta be 10. There could be graveyard up there, 10 dudes or whatever, and I don't smell nothing funky. Maybe they stink in Poland. Maybe they stink in That's where Solomon was based, a different climate.

I feel like it's Solomon, Ben. Here we go. Dead flies make the perfumers ointment give off a stench, stinky fly. So a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor. Is Solomon? Ecclesiastes ten one. Ecclesiastes ten one. Secular, so you're, you're in the middle of, America's fastest growing middle? How long is this game? It's very long.

You're towards the end of America's fastest growing Internet game show asterisk. That's not proven. I'm give you a proverb. You tell me, secular Solomon. Here we go. Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not giving it wings. Do not blame Secular India. I'm going back to India. Pardon. Nope. Do not blame God for having created the tiger, comma, but thank him, uncapitalized, for not having given wings, period. What was the show in Vegas? The two guys. One one guy with a blonde long hair. Sigfried and Solomon. Bit. Yep. Sigfried and Solomon. This is definitely secular.

Alright. So secular Solomon. Secular. Secular India? That what you're in with that? Either that or Siegfried and Roy. One of two. I'm gonna take India. That's a legitimate answer. Dan Hudson, I'm going secular as well, and, I'm I'm I'm I'm Ethiopia. Ethiopia. Flying tigers are a problem. My Foost. I'm going with secular and China. Secular and China. Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not giving it wings.

Secular India. Oh. 10 bonus points. Hey. Two shoes. And I wear them. And that's why they call me.

I don't know. That's what he's doing. It totally doesn't play on audio radio, but still, boys. I was awkward just being here. You

have just been a part of America's fastest growing Internet game show, Asterisk Not Proven. Almost. Here's the deal. You can catch more of secular versus Solomon by going to lifeinthepath.org. And, check out all the, guests that we've had. Cheddar Knuds was in here playing secular Solomon. Righteous Vendetta was in here playing secular Solomon. Yeah. Yeah. We get that stuff, but we don't know what else to do. We do secular Solomon.

Here's the deal. Read your bible. Check out read the Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. You should anyway, but at least you could prepare for the game show of a couple of low rent Internet guys. And, that's for you, secular versus Solomon. Thanks for listening to Live From The Path. We don't pay for this. Cost a big money.

Alright, Mike. You said you got roughly three to five ways that a young man could be worth a hoot. What was it? Yeah, boy. It was kinda it's kind of a bloated conversation, though, Ben. But, I can hit them. I can hit a couple of them at least. Okay. Do what you got. We got, we got seven minutes to station break. Go. Okay. Seven minutes. Here we go. So I was thinking about this, a little bit today. I was talking to a couple of fellas, and I was trying to think, where we're losing our young men at. Young men have the, opportunity to be effective in a way that, you know, I'm gonna say more mature men like 30 to 50 with kids, wives, and jobs, aren't. They just can't be as as effective

mostly because of time constraints, really. And so I was trying to think if I was gonna sit down and talk to a young man, we're we're gonna qualify that he probably already loves Jesus. Okay? And we're gonna start there. But, I I I feel like there's some things that we could try to hit, maybe focus on, and see where we can, you know, get some get some young men started a little bit earlier and maybe skip out on the ten years of folly. Okay? So the first thing I thought of is is what I thought would be most helpful for young men is to, get involved with helping people. And I'm not just talking about like, hey, they're having a men's breakfast at ten on a Saturday morning and we're gonna put new carpet in. Okay? You could certainly do that, but that's not the kind of stuff I'm talking about. I'm talking about making relationships with people. I'm talking about, like getting involved with their families, getting involved with other people's lives. Because here's the deal. If you wanna know,

if you wanna become accustomed to sharing the gospel with somebody, then you have to become accustomed with them. You know what I'm saying? You have to get involved with their family. You know, generally, you'll hear like like just people in your church, people at your work, people that you run into, they're they're roofing their house on Saturday. You be the guy that says, roofing the house, I I could probably be over. Most men will say, no, dude. I think we got it. And then you say, I wanna show up at five in the morning unless you tell me what time you're starting. Now you're in. And now you're gonna show up. And you're gonna learn how to talk to people, and you're learning how to make friends, and you're gonna learn, hopefully, how to do some kind of skill, which is useful all over the place. Right? Yep. But but, like, getting involved with other people's lives and getting off of your, I I just wanna say singular existence. You know I'm saying? Where it revolves around you, what you're doing, only what you're doing, you're, you know, get involved with a lot of people's lives and being helpful to other people that you will you will lose that time and you will regret it later. I I I just promise you, when you're able to to you finally get your stuff, your ducks in a row and be able to go start helping people, you're gonna you're gonna be out of time. You're you know, you're gonna have wife and kids and a forty, fifty, sixty hour a week job and you're just you're gonna have the heart for it and just not be able to do it as much as you could when you were younger. So I'd really encourage you to start in involving yourself with helping helping people,

families, do something, especially, dads and fathers that you look up to, for following Christ. Right? It's it's that was actually my number two is is find a guy, if not two guys, that you when you look at them, you think, I'm not exactly sure how to live life perfectly, but I think that guy's really trying to follow Jesus. Because when when push comes to shove, you're gonna end up in a corner somewhere and you're gonna go, I can't tell whether I'm being fed bump theology here. I I I I hear what this guy's saying that I listen to on a podcast or I saw on TV or I went to this church service and I just it doesn't it's not sitting right with me. You need a person to go to for that. You need a person to go to, hey, I'm I'm in this situation with my girlfriend and and she wants this to go farther than I than I should. How do I handle this? I know biblically what to do. I don't know practically what to say to not lose this, you know, and I I need some help. But there's some people at work I need to talk to. And so when you when you find a gentleman, and if you can't find a gentleman,

then I would pray on it and and seek them out. Don't wait for them to come to you. You're not, you're not a whiny Timothy. Okay? Paul's not just gonna come up to your door with open arms looking to hug you. Right? Find men that you look at and you look at them, you look at their wife and you look at their kids and you go, I wanna know more from that man because that man follows Jesus and he seems to be producing fruit around him and and pursue that man. So number one, you need to learn how to get involved with other people and help them. And two, you need to know what you're aiming for. Right? Like there's a lot of stuff in the bible that is that is very helpful, when it comes to practically living life. But sometimes, it's the nuts and bolts that you're gonna struggle with on exactly how you're gonna do that. And there are men out there that are not dropping their load on other men. And there are men out there that are picking up the responsibility that Jesus is offering and walking with it faithfully. And you just need to find them. And sometimes, you're not gonna just find encapsulated in one man. Right? This is not all one guy. I have a I have one guy for theology that I go to, and I have another guy for family stuff that I go to. Right? Like, I I spread it out a little bit. We're not talking about the a mega dude. You know what I'm saying? But, like, I mean, seriously, find yourself some biblical fathers and husbands that are doing their job and and and make relationships with them and and give them an opportunity to speak into your life where it needs spoken into and then humbly accept that stuff.

Number three, let your yes be your yes and no be a no. I have more problems with young men saying they're gonna do something and then blowing it off and not showing up. I mean, across the board, we're talking age 16 to age 25. Yeah. I'll be there. Yeah. I'm in. Something came up. Those are lies. You know I'm saying? I have two daughters, a full time job, a wife, and about five, six ministries that I'm involved in, and I made it. What is it exactly that is keeping you from showing up when you said you were going to? Sometimes I mean, don't get me wrong. Look, sometimes they're legitimate. Right? But I have more young men that are telling me they're gonna do something, and they're gonna be there, and they're involved, and they're ready, and then they bail. And I can't find them, and I can't get a phone call, and I don't know what happened. So

I'd say that I I don't even know that's limited to young men. I think that's a broad problem with dudes in general. Oh. Yeah. No. Yes. Like or we, we have our yes is a yes for a while. Yeah. Like, we put a time frame. Say, hey. I'm gonna commit to this thing. And if it doesn't go the way I want or if people aren't showing up or it's not what I think it is, maybe I'll give it two months. And then I'm gonna slowly start to bail on it because other people didn't care. And your lack of commitment is what makes no one else wanna commit either. Yeah. That's exact yeah. Like and so it it breeds problems. Right? It breeds we're talking about the men that are that that are gonna be running our churches in the next ten years. Have this exact same issue. I'm in. You know what saying? Yeah. Let your yes be a yes, your no be a no. Before you answer somebody, shut your mouth, close your eyes, say a prayer, and say, I'll get back to you in three days after I've thought this through. You know what I'm saying? Yes be a yes. No be a no. Yeah. Not anything else. And that's that's true in, like, in your whole life. Right? You don't tell your kids you're gonna be home if you're not gonna be home. Like, if you're the guy where, like, if you say, yeah. I'll definitely be home, and we're gonna play that game tonight. And if there's even an inkling in your kid's mind that you may not be there because you failed them so many times before, that's you should be ashamed of yourself. Yes. Don't lie to your kids. Don't lie to your wife. Don't try to tell them something you think. Don't lie to your Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like like, there's in fact, there's a list there's not even a list out there of people you can lie to. The answer is no. You just tell them the truth. Yes. Yes. No. No. I'm not sure. I will let you know as soon as I can. And sometimes that we lie with our actions. You apply for a job that you know you can't do. You apply for a job that says, hey. We need we need sixty hours a week. You don't apply for that job. You don't say, yeah. I can commit to everything to you and then come back two weeks later and say, man, you're really really pressing on my family time. You go to the job and you say, look. I can give you forty or forty five. Right. If if I'm still the right guy for that job and you know that's what I'm where I'm coming from, I I'd love to talk to you about it. I can't do sixty. Yeah. Tell them you can't do 60. Don't get the job and be like, I don't work 60. You hired the wrong guy. You need to bend for me. Right? That's the line. They drew the line, and you were dishonest when you took it. Right? And so, anyway, number number four was was was that's it. Your yes be a yes, your no be a no. It has to be that way. Don't don't don't fiddle fuddle around. You're in the world. You're not of it. You tell the truth, and whether it's harmful to you, worldly or not, that's what Jesus asked you to do. And I I promise you, it's more beneficial than doofsing around like you're doing.

Number five, spend time with Jesus and spend lots of time with Jesus. You have time to understand your Bible and get involved in it and really understand what you're talking to when you're talking to people about gospel. And when I talk about you finding another guy to talk to about theological issues, this is what I'm talking about. Don't walk in there like, I'm young. I'm not expected to know everything. Get on it and find out what you're what you're basing your life on. You're listening live for the path. If you're on nine nine point three KTA, we've got to let go. Thank you for listening. If you guys are hanging out on the chat or on the podcast, we'll be right back with you. Don't do this, Timmons.

Alright. Brilliant. Hey. Did you see Tim Timmons put up a a a Halloween costume of himself? I did see that. He posted a thing on Facebook where you download his own his cutout where you can wear his glasses and his big funny beard. That's awesome. That is funny. Alright. Sorry. I didn't mean cut you on the last one, but we're we're on a we're on a hard station break like legitimate guys are. Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's the deal. I legitimately had three. I kinda made up two as I went, but then I started meeting that thing about being on time. I kinda got You know? I I got sacked in. I was talking about, that came up from, like, a church leadership perspective. Like, I was talking to some some of our ministry leaders about that. We're like, I we we just we just we don't do we don't do things that we say we're gonna do. We we say we act like we're gonna do them. We tell God that we're gonna do them. And, we we're not, like, rebelling against the thing that we said we would do. We just gotta let We intend to do it. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that sounds great. You know, like and and there was there becomes, like, this virtue of, like, how cool of a promise can I make? Like and you're not intentionally trying to shine people on, but you're like, hey, man. That's a good idea. We should do that. And we should do that for, like, three weeks, and then you just stop doing it. And we just we're we're noncommittal folk.

And I I think it's a broad it's a broad cultural thing. And because everyone acts like that, we simply don't care. And it becomes okay. You know? I've, I remember had this came out of bore out of something small, but there was a some guy with here at the church was creating a pamphlet. And I said, send that over to me, and I'll I'll get it reviewed for you, and I'll get it right back to you. And he sent it over to me on a Sunday, and I was I got busy with stuff. I got tired. I got it back to him on Tuesday. And, I was thinking later in the week, and I thought I told him I would get it right back to him. And I took me three days to do it.

And I thought, you know, does that guy care? No. He doesn't care. And if I would have said, hey, man. I'm so sorry it took me so long. He'd have been like, no. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it. Thanks for getting back. Thanks for viewing. He doesn't care. The problem is is that I said I would do it. I said I would do it right away, and I didn't. I went to sleep. I didn't send him an email or call him on the phone and say, hey, man. I got this. It'd just be another day. Is that a big deal? I just didn't do it and said it something Tuesday. And it doesn't matter that that guy didn't care. And it just it it's a I I get it. It's a small item. Right? But it occurred to me at that point that, like, I my yes wasn't a yes. The thing I said I would do, I didn't do. And and, I I I'm not trusted with little. I couldn't handle the little that I said that I would take care of. And that guy's not judging me, and it's not a sin against God. But I said that I was gonna do it, and I didn't do it. And that's not cool. Yeah. And and and and the thing is is is we could broadly look around and say the broad consequences of that happen aren't aren't really a big deal. But, like, I did that, and I shouldn't have. And and it was something that I accepted that I think no one would say that's not a problem, but it is a problem. It is it's something small, but I it's a problem. If you say you're gonna do something, do it. Don't don't say don't promise things that you can't make. Don't give false intentions when you can't. Just let your yes be yes. Yeah. I think it's I think it's that whole, like, buffet

syndrome thing. You go to the buffet, and you think, I'm gonna have some of this and some of that and some of that. And the time you're thinking, I'm gonna eat all of this. And then you get back and you go, I can't eat half of this. Yeah. You know? But it's just knew you were gonna be able to do it. And I think people do that with their schedule. Yeah. You know? Oh, I can do this, and I wanna do that, and that's a great idea. I wanna be involved in that ministry, and I'm gonna read that pamphlet. And then they get home and they go, it's impossible. Right. I just wanna hook my wife. Yeah. And that's it. And so, yeah, you gotta learn discernment. Well, you know, here's that's the here's the here's the the the problem with the yes, be, and s, no be, and no culture. Right? And we this is pretty prevalent within churches. Right? It's like the no, being no guys, outnumber the yes, yes guys. Right? And what happens is is like 85% of the guys are like, no, I don't have time for that. No, I don't have time for that. When legitimately, they might have time for some of it. Right? And then, like, the other 15% are just loaded

down with stuff. I mean, they like, the the the business of what needs to happen, to to to have to run a community for Christ, like, there's just there's needs everywhere. There's emotional needs everywhere. There's spiritual needs everywhere. There's just there's physical needs left and right. And they're like there's like 15% of the dudes in the church that are just I mean, they are working their living guts out. You know, they're still trying to to trying to be the father of their of their kids and and and spiritually guide them and support their wife, and they are dragged around, like, I mean, 15 other places because we just can't get dudes to take their share. You know what I'm saying? And and and some of that is because they're too eager. Right? Some of them, they gotta put your foot down and say, I just can't do this, you know, and be honest. And if you weren't some of that falls into like a people pleaser type. It's almost idolatry sometimes. Like, I want people to like me. I want to do the right like, you gotta watch out for that too. I mean, you you gotta help people, but you gotta you gotta watch out that you're not seeking their affection as much as you're seeking the the guidance from the holy spirit to do what you're supposed to do. You know? But then on the other hand, if we had a a couple of dudes that are willing to give up a Call of Duty night and do something Right. Maybe those guys wouldn't be so frazzled. You know? That kinda goes back to what we talked about earlier, you know, the whole guilt versus

conviction. You see the advertisement with a fly on the dude's face, and it's the same person that keep adding more children. I can sponsor one more child. You know? Yeah. And everybody else is not doing it at all. That's right. You know? That's right. And, you know, and That was that was, like, one of the unique numbers that I that I found was, when, when we're talking about the the orphan Sunday was, you know, there's a 153,000,000

orphans, considered on the planet pretty much roughly. And if a quarter of the people that claim to believe Jesus Christ as their savior would adopt him, adopt one Mhmm. We'd be done with it. A quarter of the people that that that claim to know Jesus would adopt one kid. It wouldn't even be an issue anymore, you know. And I thought, man, I is that how far is that true about everything? You know what saying? Not just orphans. I mean, is that true? I mean, how much stuff are we really reading the bible and going, yeah. I'll get to that. Never. You know? Well, the

the difficulty with a statistic like that is there are no more orphans that day. Well, the next day, more orphans are being created. Hopefully, there's more disciples being created. Otherwise, the church stinks. That's true too. But, you know, like, when I was in in Taiwan, went to orphanages orphanages in Taiwan and and and China, and, some of those kids were like,

you know, car accidents. Mom and dad died in a car accident, and all of sudden Yeah. The children are at their orphanage. And think things like that. You you know? So it's always I'm I'm not saying that the that the the church of Jesus Christ is gonna solve the sin problem. Right? Because it's not. You know, that's obviously not gonna be the deal. But, like, when you're comfortable not getting involved in the messy details, that's where and I'm not I'm not trying to hammer on the adoption thing. Right. But I'm well, basically, what I'm trying to it wasn't it wasn't a guilt thing for me. It was a conviction thing for me. I'm like, where else are are like, how often am I throwing my hands up in the air and going, the culture, the culture, the culture? Why sit back and I go, I'm not getting involved in that mess. You know what I'm saying? Instead of saying, the culture's messed up. But the problem is underneath the culture, there's also people that God love that are involved in this that are messed up. Right? And I can't attack the whole culture once, but I can get one person at a time. And we do this one dude at a time. And if that's what God's called me to do, that's what I'm gonna do. And if everybody started taking one guy at a time, we could really make a stab at this thing. You know what I'm saying? We get we I don't know what God's plan is. I don't know if God's plan is to turn our culture around, to love him, or to go down like Sodom and Gomorrah. Don't know. But I know I can take one dude at a time. That's what I can do. And so I I it just seems like one like one of those things that it it it just comes down to I hate to say integrity because integrity always appears to be a worldly, my my worth is based out of me kind of thing. And that's really not what I'm going for. But, like, the truth of the matter is is, like, if I can't even trust what's coming out of your mouth when you say you're gonna show up for whatever, the planning meeting for volleyball,

you know, I I I just don't even want to say. Like, I take you off the list of guys that I trust are doing what what you tell me. You know, if I look at your life and and and I'm looking at at Christ following dudes in the church, those are usually my line for people that I'm gonna step into their life and ask them how things are going. And so, like, I get two or three, you know, no call, no shows from you, then I start to wonder what's going on in your house. That's all. Because I think your wife and kids deserve better than that. I'd like to know what you're doing, you know, in a godly loving way. I just wanna make sure that if you're willing to lie to me, are you willing to lie to your wife and willing to lie to your kids? I just want to know. And if there's extenuating circumstances, your grandma's sick or there could be a million things you didn't wanna tell me. Right? But I just wanna know. I just wanna make sure because that's not very trustworthy. If you're gonna claim the name of Christ, at least want you to be trying. You know, trying. Yeah. So, anyway, that's the five ways that that I think young fellas can be a a little bit more relevant than they are. I think they get buried in everybody when they are in their senior year of high school thinks they're gonna get a college scholarship for football.

Let's be honest, boys. Let's be honest. Yeah. I don't think so. You know what I'm saying? I mean, unless you're nine foot and, you can you can lift up a Volvo, I feel like you ain't gonna make it. You know? So let's be honest. Let's get busy doing what God has us doing and and and not wasting a whole lot of time. You know? Well, and I think some of that boils down to give up on the transition. Give up on the thought that there's, like, an eight to ten year transition into adulthood. You're an adult. Yeah. You were two years ago, and you've just been ignoring it for two years when you're 14. You have this idea that your life starts when you get married. Your life starts when you turn 30. Your life starts at some other point that's not right now.

And, you know, your life's been living for a long time and, you know, the freedom that you claimed when you turned 16, 17, 18 was the freedom that says you're an adult and should be able to handle your own biblical affairs. And, you know, I think we have this idea that as long as we're in some sort of school structure, some sort of system that they're passing us through, that you're being passed through as if you didn't volunteer to go there and didn't sign the papers that said, yeah, I'll choose these classes. Like, if you're gonna control your own deal, control your own deal, and you're you're on the hook for living an adult life. And I think we gotta get rid of this thought that there's this big long transition, which people are taking care of you. There people it's weird. People approach college that weird way where it should be like a real time of independence.

And, like, it is, but it's always a people have this mindset that it's a time of independence from, like, authority without otherwise taking responsibility that comes with being your own authority. And, and it's a weird separation. It's and it's very few cultures that take that as true,

besides your, you know, your Western Europe, your your American cultures who look at that and say, yeah. You know, you can still be a kid, and you get to make your own wild crazy choices, but you're not responsible for any of them because someone still has you in a class or, you know, some you're on their health insurance till you're 24 or whatever it is. Yeah. And we we gotta get rid of that. And we, we've talked about that even even in our church about, you know, what kind of even by say by putting having a youth group, like, it it kinda gives an impression of non adulthood. Like, we we suddenly go, you know, kid kid kid stuff, youth stuff, and then bam, adult,

without actually rightfully transitioning people into thinking, no. No. No. You know, it's not just a, like, hey. One day you jump and you get the big boy church. That's a that's a that's a slow and steady climb. And, I I don't know. I I I think some of that just bases on the fact that we have this mindset that that their adulthood doesn't start till later on. And, and, again, I think it keeps them in that in that mind frame until something big happens. As soon as the big thing happens, then like, oh, man. I really felt the weight of my adulthood when my mom died or when I finally got married or when I impregnated a woman. You know, these are all things to say, oh, now it starts as opposed to, you know, you could have started in a lot less dire circumstances.

Your adult your adult has already been been rolling. What did you do with it? Right. Alright. What do we got here, Mike? Did we get through our get through our big stuff? Kind of. We got to steer deer life from the path. John, did you end up with any kind Pope style? Pope style advice?

I like your Pope style advice. No. I was I like the guilt versus, conviction topic. You know, I went a different angle, when we were kinda talking about just via email. Sure. I didn't really understand that you were kinda coming from the, what am I hearing that's making you feel guilty Yeah. Versus conviction. So all the only word I had tonight, you know, pope style, pontiff style, John Paul, pope John Paul,

is confession. You know, I feel like a lot of guys our age are scared of confession. Confession's a sign of weakness. Confession's a sign that I can't handle myself. Confession's a sign that maybe I'm not in control. Yeah. But I think confession is essential, especially when it comes to guilt, especially when it comes to being convicted on something.

You know, I talked to a lot of guys at my church, a lot of guys who are in accountability groups with me who feel guilty about things they've done, who feel convicted about either the inaction, you know, the things they didn't do, they said they would do, they don't do, or the things they've done, it's their spouse, their girlfriends, their families. And I always point them to confession. I point myself to confession. If there's something that's dragging you down, holding you back, keeping you from the life you're supposed to be living, that effectiveness and communication,

that effectiveness is spreading the word of Jesus, confess. Go back to God. Go back to those people. It's not a sign of weakness. It's not. You know, there's, there's something in our culture that tells, especially men that, you know, being strong means that you're not making mistakes. You do make mistakes, you hide them. Right. So that people don't find them. Yeah. You know, but then you carry it. And so the more we talk about, I think confession as being, being essential and not being weakness, but being strength, being able to say I've made mistakes.

I've made mistakes to you. I've made mistakes before my God. The the the closer we're gonna get to actually living our lives every single moment like Christ as opposed to compartmentalizing our faith. That's the biggest problem that I see right now in my own life, in the lives of the men in my church,

is that we're compartmentalizing our lives, and we compartmentalize our guilt. We compartmentalize our conviction because we feel bad, we don't want to confess. Yeah. We won't let anybody know in Suburban Iowa you know, this is a suburban area. I work in a suburban area that maybe we've done something we were weren't supposed to do. Maybe we haven't done all the things that we're supposed to do. Right. And so, you know, when we talk about guilt, at least in the county police I'm in, we talk about how guilt is a entry point back into our relationship with God. Yeah. How if I feel guilty, if I feel convicted, this is my time to confess right now. Don't wait. Don't feel bad about it. Don't go to bed on it. Don't go talk to your friend about it. Stop. Pray right then. Yeah. God, I've done something. I feel guilty. I feel convicted. I need your help. Forgive me now so I can leave this and continue right living. We don't wanna hide our faith, and I think we hide our faith inside of our guilt. So that makes sense to you where you're at. It's not as deep as your guys' guilt conversation. Holy cow. You guys are blowing my mind over there. It was awesome. We're kinda long winded, John. That's alright. No. Was good. Internet access. You know what I'm saying? I loved it. I loved it. You know, I'm a but I'm a simple guy who gets burdened,

with guilt and conviction. You know? We talk about conviction. You know? I felt convicted to go into ministry. That's a whole different kind of conviction. When I hear conviction, I think about, you know, being convicted that maybe I was supposed to do something I didn't. Yeah. You know, or feeling guilty that that I didn't follow through on that conviction or follow through on that yes and yes and no and no. We had a big sermon on that recently. And I was surprised just how many people, and myself included, were like, man. Yeah. If only my yes really was it. Yeah. I feel like I stink at what you're saying. Yeah. If only people really trusted me, how good Right. Would that feel? So go back and confess. If you feel guilty about that Yeah. I'm sorry I let you down. I didn't come to your meeting. You're talking about that. Didn't come to your group. I blew you off. Right. I said I was gonna go. Yeah. I didn't make it. And I have an intention of going, but I put too much on my betrayed. Yeah. You know? And so I looked at the things that I thought were important. You were, number five, Yeah. I didn't make it now. Exactly. Exactly. But that's why I think confession is so so very important. You know, how are you in a relationship with God? Can you go straight to him and say, you know what? I trust in your love. I trust in your forgiveness, so I need it. Yeah. Right? You know what? It's it's funny, like, two things I thought of while you were saying that is is, like like the phrase against you only have I sinned. Right? Like, where it's coming from David and, God said, this is a man after my own heart. And so, sometimes I I I think about, you know, I get mired in, the confession conversation that's gonna have to happen after the one with God. Right? But realize that my covenant is with Jesus Christ. Jesus made that deal with me. Right? And that's the first deal I need to be worried about. So it's against you only having sin. I don't care what I did. Against who? Right? It's it's me and God first. We need to get this right because I'm gonna need your strength to go have this other one. Go have this other conversation. Yeah. Because it's not it might not go as well. But like, I still wanna do it. I still I once wanna do those things and like I like some of those confession things, I I mean, I ain't kidding you. They're rough. Some of them aren't. Because after you start to do it for a while, it just becomes your lifestyle. Right? Yeah. Because you're not trying to hold a you're not trying to drag, you know, whatever whatever semblance of Mike Foust I thought I was gonna be behind me like a Santa bag. You know, like, I'm I'm still a pretty uptight dude, but I made this mistake that one time. Yeah. Right? So you give a a life with Christ a little bit of time, you're like, here's the deal. I'm not really pretending to be anything fancy here, so this is gonna come no shock to you, but I screwed this up pretty bad. Yeah. And here's what I did. I I actually did it intentionally. It wasn't an accident. I really did this thing, and I didn't consider any any repercussions to you. And I'm sorry about that.

You know, after a while, that conversation, I promise you, just it gets easier because you're not trying to you're not trying to gain glory for you anymore. Yeah. You're not trying to make people think highly of you. And and and sometimes, the best part is, is like, sometimes that blows people away. Like, I've never met honesty like this guy puts out. Right? And eventually, they'll they'll they'll gonna wonder why. Why are you so transparent? Because it's not good for you. You know what I'm saying? Like, the guy that's that's pulling punches and making his his work look awesome when it's not or taking glory from others, like, he's gonna get the promotion. And you're just gonna be grinding the wheel for Jesus for another twenty years with a big old smile on your face. Yeah. Yeah. I sure make a lot of mistakes, but I sure love this wheel. You know? But like, sooner or later, that's gonna stand out. Because your words and your actions are gonna start to back themselves up, and they'll go, what's the deal? And you can say, Jesus is the deal. And like, that's the conversation that you always wanted to have, but sounded like a door to door bible salesman before. Right.

Well, and and and you're trying to sell that just like a door to door bible salesman because of, you know, the the tie that you wore, the smile that you had on, the spiel that you had. Right? And that only works on so many people. And frankly, it barely works at all. Yeah. That's why people stop selling vacuums door to door for the most part. Right? But but when you show up and and in spite of all the things that you confess to, in spite of your imperfect nature, they still see that guy's got a smile on his face. He seems to have joy in his life. And they're they're endeared to a man that's open, like, everything that they wanna be. They wanna be open even about the things that they're struggling with. They're like, I I I just don't understand it. I don't understand how you can how you can do that. Yeah. I can't take that kind of hit. Right. And the cool thing about that is that that that that does point to Jesus. There's nothing about that that points to you. We've, one of the thing I'm gonna this could sound sounds weird, but, like, I really like apologizing to my kids, because I feel like it that's just you know, if I screw up, I could either be the be the dad that's like, big dad doesn't screw up, or, hey, man. I really hosed that up. You remember that time I made that joke on your mom's behalf? Not cool.

I did that, and I'm sorry. And I gave you a bad example, and I didn't even mean it, and it wasn't funny. Because you know? Yeah. Or or, you know, so whatever I got going on, it it's weird at that moment when I do something that I know I should've I I wasn't a very good example or I handled something the way I shouldn't. And there's just this little spark inside your mind that goes, hey. I can apologize for that to the children. You know? And and there's, there's there's not pride in that. It's just like, hey, man. I did the wrong thing and not only like, that's an example. I get to use the thing that I did poorly, and I get to first of all, I get the chance to apologize because they're a captive audience. And two, they get to see they get to see them apologize. To my apology, and you go to bed. Those are the options. But but from the perspective of setting an example, there's no better feeling when you're trying to teach a child than to have that look in their eye that says, got that. Yeah. Yeah. Messed up, dad, but you said you were sorry. I get that. Yeah. That's what guys do. Yeah. It's so important. It feels so good. It shouldn't it's it's a righteous pride. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's it's a pro because you feel like because you're lining up with with how God has asked you to behave. That's not a pride deal. That's a, like, God is good. I see how this is gonna work. I can apologize to my kids. And I'm you know, I didn't they didn't lose any respect for me. No. They're not like, oh, I'm never gonna listen to that guy or I won't take him seriously because they know I'm dealing with him honestly. That that does a double thing because it also is teaching them someday when they start looking for their own life partner,

they're gonna be able to identify genuine faith. Yeah. I mean, you're teaching them what that is. It's good. No. That's true. And that's a that's a big deal. That's very big deal. You're you're laying a foundation for for You know, and and sometimes it it really is it it really is how you how you go about, that confession that apology. You know what I'm saying? You don't have to do it like a snivelly, whiny man. Right? Go up there's a man that God said is redeemed, that God said it's finished. Right? And so you walk up there and you look somebody in the eye and you tell them the deal. And and and and and some men, like like, we have men that border on chauvinism, border on on cowardice. Right? And and like, some of them will will will be what is it? I can't stand it. So it's it's the one thing, the character of men that just drives me nuts. It's passive aggressiveness.

You know I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Like like, you know, backhanded, like, whiny stuff, it's like and and then we got other guys that are just got so much pride in them, you can't even fit them through the door. And and and, like, you could be you could be confident in your relationship with Jesus Christ and be a confident man without being cocky or prideful. Right? And the same thing is is you don't have to lower yourself to make this confession or this conversation happen. Right? God already elevated you. He said, you're not that anymore. You're righteous in front of me. Now, walk in there and and and do it. And do it like a man and don't don't flower with a bunch of emotion to to guide the conversation,

so it comes out to be your benefit. Right? The benefit is God forgave you. That's the benefit. Right? And the benefit to you is you don't have to carry it around because you're done with it. And so, like, I see that a lot. Like, dudes who are who are like, oh, I gotta make a you it know, really wasn't my fault. I did screw it up, but it was kind of I'd say it was fifty fifty blame between you and I. Like, a dude who loves Jesus, knows redeems, walks in and says, look, I'm not I'm not totally certain where your heart was when this thing went down. I just know mine was not in the right place, And I was wrong. And I I I want this to be done, and I'm sorry. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, no conversation about what happened over there. Here's what I did, and that's where we're gonna start. And if you wanna reciprocate, we'll talk about that. If you're not interested, I I'm just done being mad at you. I'm not gonna carry that crap around. You know, anytime you find yourself in a heated argument, you're a guilty party. Yes. Yeah. I mean, like, it's a, anytime I don't know. Like, randomly, folks will, like, start will ask for advice on dealing with, like, something in the marriage. I'm like I'm like, 10 out of 10, if you're in a drop dead argument, you're guilty. Because here's the deal. Maybe someone came up. Maybe your spouse was unreasonable. Right? If you chose to be unreasonable with them. You chose to amp that up, call that their personality, and deal with them as if that's how they are. And that's wrong. You're guilty. Stop that. Go apologize to them for how you're behaving. I don't care whether they're wrong or not. But, like, that's how you anytime you're in a fierce argument, it tends to be because you agreed that they're unreasonable and should be treated like it was normal, and you just met them where they were at. And that's terrible. That's how you stop arguments from happening. You don't you don't agree to also be an unreasonable party in the in the action. I've done that a lot. Yeah. I've done that re they you know, the lady will do something I think is outrageous, and I'm like, you're always like this. She ain't always like that. Right? She behaves. She's fine. You know? She acted unre unreasonable on one day, and then I called that the new her, and then, like, we were just gonna battle that out. You know? I'm like, that's just immaturity as a man on my part. You know? And, like, that really stinks to have that conversation with your wife. But, like, I made a characterization to you that wasn't true, and I treated you like, we are not one. And I'm sorry. I still disagree with you. You don't have to say that, but I I sneak it in there because I'm a prideful beast. And then I gotta apologize for that later.

But Vicious circle. Sometimes sometimes I will do that. You wanna do one? Wanna for one? Yeah. Might as well do one. Okay. Let's do one. I didn't really I I didn't vet them. Let's see what we got. Oh, here we go. No. That's a good one. Okay. Dear, lie from the path. A little over a year ago, my husband and I were pulled over after a day on our boat. We had been drinking. My husband was charged with a DUI. He went through everything that was required and decided to go ahead and stop drinking. I'm very proud of him. Going to AA meetings has kept him strong, and he has become a better person.

I, on the other hand, like to relax with a beer once in a while. But if I do, I feel guilty. My husband says it's fine, but I feel it might tempt him. Am I doomed not to be able to to drink anymore to support his sobriety, or can I have a beer once in a while and hope he has learned to to cope with it? Is having occasional beer selfish? Oh. What what are the thoughts? Hudson? I I I think she's she's answered her her question. She she can have one, but do it not around him. Yeah. You know, go out with your friends and have one or something, but but respect him. She she knows the answer. She she already knows. She needs to keep him in the doghouse and say, I'm gonna go let the dog out. Yeah. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Back in. That's your suggestion? Just Yeah. Just stay away from the man. Hey, honey. I know you let the dog out, but you smell like lies and deceit. I can smell it on your breath.

I mean, you can even tell. Hey. I'm going out with some my my girlfriends tonight, and and, you know? But but I think it's respectful to keep she she knows she's keeping away from him. That's a weakness for him. It has been you don't go to AA unless it's it's serious. It's not like he just was drinking one day on a boat. I mean and then he thought, why don't you go to AA? I mean, this is a big deal. Alright. He I mean, it was enough to be charged with something. Well yeah. But he even thought that was it wasn't a one time thing. You don't go to AA. Right. This is a continuous issue. Right. Yep. And so he she she she needs to respect him and help him. Yeah. So I guess I would probably, say, look, you have freedom in Christ to drink.

But when your freedom starts to infringe on someone else's, just I I would put in perspective how important that freedom is to you. Right? Would you be willing to give it up for someone else's benefit? So, like, let's say that, you know, there's not a good fancy way to, you know, back off from your husband, you know, socially and say, I'm going out with the gals. It just doesn't happen as much as you'd like and you really love you might have to see just ask yourself what's more important. It's a little thing. Right? Unless you're unless you're addicted, it's a little thing. You know I'm saying? Yeah. Could I give up my iced tea drinking? I probably. You know I'm saying? Especially if it was causing my wife to stumble. Yeah. Yeah. I could probably work on that. If it turns out that you're having a hard time giving it up, you have the same problem he does, and you need to give it up. Yeah. I've known a lot of people who husband and wife smoke, and one of them decides they wanna quit. Yeah. And if the other one doesn't, it doesn't take long. Pretty soon pretty soon they're both smoking again. You know, it's just it's just so hard if you're not both in this thing together and Yeah. I'd say I I mean, I just wanna be clear on this. Right? You have freedom in Christ to enjoy a reasonable drink here and there. It's not that big of a deal. Okay? But, like, you just need to decide if what you're willing to take that freedom and infringe on somebody else. And are you as a couple in a spot where you can ask your spouse, especially if any other, will you be honest with me? You know, is this bothering you? Is this causing you a problem? You know, I want you to know because if it is, I will stop. Right. You know, if you can be that honest, you know, I have a one of my best friends in the whole world, has been sober for six years. Yeah. You know, we went the other not about a year ago now, out socially, and we were just sitting around talking with each other. Waitress comes up. You know, would you like to put a drink? He says, I'll have a water. I looked across at him, and we've been just hanging all day. And he looked at me, he said, it's not gonna bother me. Okay. It's gonna be fine. Okay. And I said, are you sure? And he said, it's gonna be fine.

And so I had one beer Yeah. In front of him. But I would not have done that had he not said, this is not a big deal. And I could tell because we're good friends. Right. This is a real answer right now. So just openly ask him. Yeah. Is this is this a problem? And if it is, know that I have no problem stopping. Right. Because you're more important than a beer after work. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Really. Like an iced tea or a coffee, whatever ends up being for you. Because it could be anything. Could be pizza. Yeah. Whatever it is. Yeah. I'm on a diet. Yeah. My doctor says I got a heart problem. I can't have food around. Whatever it is, you know, I is it really more important than a person? I really like to watch Golden Girls, and I'm trying to quit. You know? I need you to not watch it. You keep watching Maude. That's the same, dude. That is the same. I you know, I would say by the nature of her asking the question that I either she doesn't actually believe it's alright,

or she actually or she she needs to quit. Like, she's convicted to quit and is is you know? Like, is it okay if I don't? Sure. But, I mean, the nature of asking that question, I think, does does point to a little bit that either she believes it's not okay and that what when he's saying it's okay, it's not really. Or she does have a problem, and she's just doesn't wanna admit it full on. It's just kind of like, hey. Is it alright if I Yeah. Do this. Is this cool? Here we go. Secular says, when someone describes not imbibing imbibing? Imbibing. That's what I said. Bibbery. When someone describes not imbibing alcohol as being doomed and signs off as needs a drink, I suspect that the individual may be alcohol dependent to some degree. If there's any chance that your your sober husband might crave alcohol if he sees you having a beer, then do it when you're not in his presence. I call that being considerate and sacrificing for the greater good.

I feel like I I kind of agree with that. I think I'm I'm kind of with John. Just ask him. Just ask him. Right? Don't be sneaking around. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't be like having five girls nights out a week because you want that beer. You know what I'm saying? Like, I guess I got another meeting. You know? Like, seriously, have the conversation. And because I'd rather I mean, I'd rather drink at home too. You know, I don't be out and about doing all kinds of crazy business. I'm safe at home with my wife, but if she can't dig on that alcohol, then I gotta do something different. You're listening to Live From The Path. Big thanks to John Wagner for being in. Oh, it was awesome. Thanks, John. Having me. We're gonna have John back in, in one form or another. And

You sound very sincere. We're we're gonna stay away from the iced tea because John can't handle it. He gets punchy after 11PM. You've listening live from the path. You can catch it during the week at livefromthepath.org. Sign up for that podcast. There's a link right at the top of the page, and you get the full holy buckets hour and a half worth of content. Yikes. If you're on k yeah. You ain't listening on KTA. You don't get to hear this part. This is where we talk about the booze.

We don't talk about the booze on the Christian radio. Oh, shoot. Hey, man. We we got a big big event coming up. The Christmas for the Path Extravaganza. Dang it. We're broad we're broadcasting from Zeke's on 11:30. Live broadcast. Christmas, Jeff Arendal and company gonna be there playing.

Also, we're gonna be in Johnson at the Simpson Barn on December 6. Two shows this year. And the, the audio from last year, the album, Christmas from the Path volume one will be released sometime post Thanksgiving. You can pick that up, help out the show, and dig on the local artists that are playing in it. Thank you for listening. Have a wonderful week. You've been listening to Live From The Path.