Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live from the path.

And you're listening to Live From The Bath. Cody from the Pepley Studios here in Johnston Proper. It's good to have you here on this wonderful evening. Commentary on the weather, things of this nature. Hello. Hey, Mike. You gotta tell me when you move microphones, because you you loud. Yeah. Sorry about that. Okay. Alright. Here we go on the on the show tonight. So here's here's the thing, is we're sitting about an hour before the show starts, and Andrew Carson goes, hey, I got Pope style.

And I thought and I was I was amazed. So anyway, we're gonna have some Pope style. Andrew Carson, can I have a preview on your Pope style? It's about shepherds. Okay. Pope style on what do you why is that funny? Because because you asked for a preview and he gave a general topic. Yeah. No. That's true. You said, hey, man. Give me the preview. He goes, it's shepherds. You know, I haven't talked to a guy

ever in my whole life where I've been like, hey, man. What do you do for a living? A shepherd. You know what I'm saying? Like, they they they they call sheep sheep farmers or something. Farmer in general covers it, but no one identifies themselves as a shepherd anymore. You think it's because it inherently holds too much weight? It's a possibility because of all the historical text. If I were a sheep herder or sheep raised man, have no idea. No, Mike. It's just because you don't know any shepherds. I'm pretty sure there's parts of the world where there are shepherds. There are people here in Iowa that raise sheep that I would never think of them as shepherds. Yeah. I don't think they think of themselves either. That's kind of a small. I I don't think it's too too weighty. I think it's too

small. It's just a niche A A niche market. No. I do a lot of stuff. Yeah. Dan, you're a pastor. Have you ever referred to yourself as a shepherd? I I have. But but not like What do you do? I'm a shepherd. Yeah. Only when I need people You need to start doing that. I'm the shepherd. Sheep,

please start introducing yourself as Dan Hudson, shepherd. I'm the medium good shepherd. That doesn't have a good name to it. I'm the somewhat not horrible shepherd. Let's see. So if I search

job opening as a shepherd. Is there a LinkedIn thing for shepherds? No. Shoot. These are all doggone. It's the names of the places. Job openings, Shepherd of the Hills Church. Employment working at the Shepherd Center. That's because there's no shepherds out there. That's here, that's the deal. There's no one people stop calling themselves shepherd because they can't get a freaking job without finding a whole bunch of places they don't wanna work. Yep. Hey, man. That's the comic we need to create. We need to create the dude that legitimately raises

sheep looking for a job interview for as a shepherd and he keeps running into churches. Keeps walking in. Yeah. I'm an actual shepherd. They're like, oh, so how many times have you been a pastor? Have you been a pastor before? He goes, no no no. No. I actually just legitimately raised sheep and and I'm I'm not an a shepherd. Hey, listen. If you wanna make an unfunny comic, you can do that by yourself. Hey, man. That's gonna be funny. I feel like there's no reason That's gonna blow up my that's gonna blow up my people are gonna love that. Hey. So I started to type it. Was I was gonna search it differently and search I wanna work as a shepherd. And the four options that Google gives you as a suggestion are I wanna work as a Disney princess. I wanna work as a call boy. That is that a dirty I think that's what you think it is.

Oh my. They make phone calls? Yeah. No. No. I can call them for you. Wait. Hold on. Operator? The third one is I wanna work as a receptionist. Right. That's the third one? And I wanna work as a photographer? Those are very different from each other, all of them. And all not shepherds. Absolutely. Yeah. Boy, that's I just wish you turned this into a comic. I kinda wanna

it's gonna be awesome. Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold on. And then I if you put in an s, it changes to I wanna work as a spy. I wanna work as a secret agent. What what Nine year olds got their hands on Google. I wanna work on a cruise ship. Here's the deal. When you Google search, you're gonna work as a spy, you are now the worst spy ever. You've basically just thrown out any evidence that you could go incognito on anything.

I'm applying to be a spy. If okay. Now I wanna work as a I was starting to slowly type out shepherd. And this is where I think Google's just phoning it in. Because I got I wanna work as a she, and then the options are shellfish, sheep, sheep song,

sheet on my bed. And the algorithms aren't put together right. I wanna work as a sheet on my bed. Hey, did you know that the tag always goes up in the upper left hand corner?

I thought it was the bottom right. No. On the fitted sheet, upper left. Oh, really? Yeah. No. I didn't know that. Yeah. If you always put it on the upper left, it will fit correctly all the time. You'll never get that short side and go, crap. Now I gotta start all over again. It took me until I was 23 years old to finally buy a fitted sheet. What do you mean? You just put a flat sheet on there and call it what it was? That's it. Hey. Hey. So hold on. I didn't then I'm gonna drop this. But if you could careersearch.com under Shepherd

says, career advice on how to become a shepherd. A lot of the time, we smugly think that we know what a career is all about. Popular culture leads us to believe that we understand the ins and outs of a job or career pretty well. In the case of the shepherd, this smug preconceived notion of what a shepherd does is completely accurate. Indeed, shepherds are still keeping track of sheep just like they always have.

Here we go. Career facts. Shepherds have been watching over sheep for several thousand years. Often, the image of the shepherd is that a protector, and that is accurate. But to be completely clear, shepherds are paid to keep eye over an investment. Or if they are in the shepherd biz for themselves, the sheep they are watching over are cash money in the bank. I love this guy. Thus, the shepherd might be using the sheep for their wool or their milk or often their meat. You ever drink sheep's milk? I would I would if it was offered to me. I would do the same. Okay. So keep in mind that being a shepherd does not mean hanging out with sheep all day and being their friend. Every now and then, the grim reaper comes for one of your furry friends. Much of the fear that shepherds have concerning their flocks comes from predators. Wolves, dingoes, and other predators find sheep to be rather tasty.

Thus, they are the historic enemy of the shepherd. Career opportunities and job outlook unknown. Today, sheep herding is more of a regional activity with much of shepherding taking place in just a few regions across the world such as Scotland and Israel. This fact means that landing a job as a shepherd might be a little tricky, but one never knows. What does the future hold for the shepherd? This ancient job has seen a lot of change since its inception thousands of years ago. Whether or not we'll continue to exist and thrive is an excellent question. The odds are that the shepherd will be with us in some form for quite some time to come. Average salary.

Salary can vary greatly between shepherds who have their own flocks and shepherds who are working for others. In general, however, one should not expect to build a shepherding empire. When is last time you've heard, oh, that guy made all his money in shepherding? He's a real jerk too. Oh, man. He's talking to your wife. Career training and qualifications, you should probably like both sheep and dogs. This is usually a skill that one picks up on the job. That's careersearch.com, Shepard.

I feel like I'm qualified. That's awesome. I'm a fired up. Hey, man. I like that some guy did that. I mean, he's got nothing better to do to create a career search page on Shepardy. I mean, you're you're really scraping the barrel for web hits. Picking up a few cents per click on the on the Shepherding page. Like running a live from the Path Radio Show. Yeah.

That's weird. Okay. Anyway, Billy Graham, the Bible is the most important book and Christians need to understand. Sorry. That was that article I was looking for that states the obvious. Alright. Here we go. Hey, Buba. Did you go see that Deadpool movie? Yeah. I've seen many awarding not to see that Deadpool movie. What is your reaction to it? Yeah. Don't go. Oh. I went and saw it thinking to myself that it was not gonna be as bad as everyone said it was going to be just like everyone said it was going to be. Yeah. No. Agreed. So so ultimately, six months ago, I feel like this would not have bothered me. But just where's god's got me in the last couple of months, it it really bothered me because,

there's some parts of movie like it's it's an awesome movie from a superhero perspective and I loved it. I thought it was great. But there's just there's way too much stuff that you just don't need to see. There there's a there's like a whole strip club scene that I literally thought it was gonna be maybe twenty seconds, and it wouldn't be that bad. And, you know, I expected a sex scene in it, and I I thought it was maybe gonna be a couple seconds. And for some reason, I justified that. But the sex scene ended up being, like, almost two minutes worth of doing that. And, like, no holds barred on this thing. Like, there's a that's due to how long it takes, bubba.

Why? Really? Why is this why is this the deal? So moving I'm moving my scene to go much longer. Move. Moving past this conversation.

Shoot. So back in July. Hey, man. You should play your cards last. You know mean? I mean, yeah. Forty five minutes is about me too.

Right on everybody else. My So community is supposed to refine me. Thanks, boys. Way too short. Go on, boo. Should I even light the candles this time or

wait. I can make some popcorn. I made a whole CD, but apparently, I needed the one song. Wait. Oh, man. That's what comes after YMC. Hold on, baby.

I'll show you next time. That's a teaser. Talk to me in a couple hours. Downhill downhill So anyway You you watch That's we can't see the Deadpool movie. Yeah. That's the truth, man. So so you watch the scene and and I'm so I'm sure the people that were expecting it to be

that kind of movie and didn't have any reason to think that was bad, thought it was great. But like when you're watching that, like I legitimately found myself looking away and wanting to leave the movie theater. Like I said, six months ago, I would not have noticed that. I I would have just watched it and been, okay. Well, this is just some of the consequences of an r rated movie. But I watched it and I was just I was generally disgusted. I'm just like, man, I have no desire to sit like weirdly in my life. If you guys know me, this weird place. So didn't wanna watch that, looked away. And then it came to another, you know, strip club scene and I thought to myself like, man, another one, like, this really that necessary? It's it's gratuitous and, you know, I expected the language and I expected all that stuff, but just

it was just it was way too much. And I was I was watching Risen while you were watching that. Do I bring that up now? Really? Do you see my halo?

You're so much better than me, Dan. Holy is the word, booba. Dan, you are so set apart. Thank you. Thank you so much. We should make a comic strip on how crappy booba is. That would be awesome. Yeah. Probably. He can talk about how sometimes he'd cries to be a shepherd and ends up taking job applications to a church. Dan, did you really see that Risen movie? Yes, I did. Is it pretty good?

Wait. Was this the one where Was there any weird sex scenes? Yeah. Yeah. There are some things I really like about it. And there are some things I I think probably one of the hardest things in all of the world to try to film as a director to direct would be how do you how do you represent Jesus. Right? You know, because we all have our vision of what that would look like, you know. I'm not saying he did good or bad. He was just different than I would do it or or even more so, how do you how do you picture the disciples post resurrection being interrogated by a Roman soldier, you know, some some of the the the old old school mysterious

you know, pious stuff came in once in a while. They just had this mysterious, oh, we all just love each other now, you know. Right. And and I was thinking, no, you jump up and say, hey, I don't give a rip. I don't even know what's happening. All I know is he's alive, you know? That's that's what I'd doing. That's that's how I envision it, you know? And but it's all wanna say was bad. I enjoyed it. I go. I mean, would recommend people go see it but but it probably won't exactly match your imagination of of what some of those scenes, you know. But it's not, it's not in the same league as like the Noah movie where you'd be like, man, this thing is just off the bat. All the way. Crazy. They they actually, they did a really good job of having a non biblical person. The the Roman soldiers like, it it's totally from his perspective and like like like you missed the crucifixion. He shows up and and and it's like, why don't you go take, we got, we got a crucifixion. Why don't you go break his legs? Let's end this thing. So, he just shows up at the end. So, you don't even go through the whole crucifixion

and and and then a lot of it is truly like it's almost like a a Bible meets CSI. You know, it's like them going, okay, we got some people saying he's resurrected, some peoples, you know, obviously, the disciples stole the body. Let's see what really happened. Yeah. And they're just trying to investigate. Where where'd the body go? You know, and they're digging at bodies and they're trying, you know, it's like, somebody's lying here and they're just trying to get to the facts and so, I I don't know. It was it was it was decent. I mean,

yeah. I'd recommend it. It was, there was no, there was no time almost every one of those movies you go, man, this is so unbiblical like you said, you know, rock people but. Right. I I I never thought that. I I just thought I saw that differently. Yeah. That was the only. It's just a perspective change kind of deal. I don't think I've ever seen like a Bible movie that I thought that way. Yeah. That I didn't think that's not in the Bible. Right. They're showing this thing in the theaters? Yeah. No doubt. Yeah. Alright. Alright. Cool. Alright. So, Mubis saw the posturing movie from I'm a heathen. Yeah. That seems terrible. Alright. Dan has recently rebuked me for my weight. That's right. He's risen, Booba.

Risen indeed. Okay. Alright. Let's see. So Andrew Andrew, Andrew, tell us so now that we've kind of margined out what it's like to be a modern day shepherd, let's hear your pope style on shepherding. So here's the deal. Someone and probably multiple people have gotten together in conspiracy style to to claim that that Andrew is the pope. And the only way to get people from off his lawn is for him to give some sort of pope style advice that is relevant to their lives and and to his as well so that they can go about their day. So Andrew, how do you get these people on your lawn? What's your pope style advice? So here's the deal. Okay? I was watching myself some television,

and one of I was watching one of the an old show called Stargate Atlantis, and one of the characters in the show is named John Shepherd. K? And so he's like, you know, this military leader guy. He's like,

I never leave any of my people behind, and I'm gonna shoot, you know, bang bang bang and stuff. And I'm thinking to myself and

Hold on. There's like a bunch of other different media things and a couple other movies and like video games and even books where there are also these characters with the last name Shepard who are like, I'm the leader and I'm going to get everybody out of whatever situation

and save the world. And I think to myself, every single time I see one of these people named Shepard, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. If I were in that situation, I would totally trust this guy to do whatever he does to save the day. And you know, often it's like, you know, Jesus, know, he's the shepherd, and it's like, I'm gonna go to work and try and make some money and maybe survive another week and a half.

And it's like, you know, a bunch of like, you trust things. It's like, why would I trust a, you know, fictional character to fictionally save the world when, you know, it's like, I know a shepherd who did save the world. And it's like

yeah. So So so basically, if I'm if I can understand this, what what you're pointing is to say, like, how easily we are to to trust on in in your examples, it was like kinda more dynamic figures of who are taking responsibility for what's going on around them. When there is a reality of a of a shepherd and we we seem to to lack the, I don't know, the initiative to actually follow that shepherd and and kind of place our faith in what he's what a, what he's done and what he has is doing. Is that kind of what you're getting at? Yeah. Yeah.

No. That's true. And I wonder if there's there's also there's there's something about how people how people shepherd. Like, we get it we wanna follow things that otherwise we get excited about or I I know there's more of like a type a type of guy. And we're like, leader shepherd when

when I I I don't know. Maybe Jesus Jesus is that, I guess, but he's not he's also not not always that. And we're and because those those, like, other types of shepherd folks represent things that otherwise draw us in as humans as opposed to people that are trying to be faithful to Christ. You know, I I I've I've I've come to the reality here in in the last couple months or so that if I had to I was I was trying to figure out where people get stuck between accepting the gospel for what it is and

getting into the kingdom and saying, this is, yeah, okay. I it's it's sinking teeth into it and saying, you're right. This is what I want to do with my life. I want to follow this king and I I I liken it very much to a parachute. You know what I'm saying? Like the kingdom of god is very much like a parachute that it actually can't get used until you until you let it do its job. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you take a run at the cliff and then grab one hand onto the tree at the end of the cliff and don't actually ever ever jump. Your parachute's never gonna open and do its job. Right. And like, I I think people are so I mean, and this is me, you know? But so afraid to just jump off the cliff and let the parachute do do the work. Because you can't ever say I have faith in this parachute because you actually never even gave it a shot. You just talked about how great the parachute would be if one day you decided to jump off the cliff. And but you never actually put your faith in that thing. Right? Like you you you would tell everybody on on how great it was and why you bought it and and what it's gonna do when you finally use it and how you know people that have used this parachute. And it really does. It does sail. And it's good times and glorious. But at the end of the day,

you're still taking a run go at the cliff and grabbing onto a tree bench on your way out and saying, no. No. No. No. No. Not quite yet. I wanna look over the cliff, but I I can't jump. And and it's it's just it's right there. Like, there's a there's a there's just a trust factor of I'm not willing to find out whether this parachute is going to open. I will tell everybody it will open, and I'm sure it will open, but I I can't do it. I'm just I can't jump. And so does it does it does it eventually all point out to that we're just flat out scared to trust a god of this magnitude?

You know what I'm saying? Because do you you think of how much stuff you have to let go and you have to say, I I I don't have to be in control of this. I'm going to let god be in control of this and I will just accept what comes. That is an that is an impossible life to plan for. Yeah. And nobody likes that. Nobody likes saying, I don't know what's coming next. I don't know what we're going to do but this this parachute says it's got me covered, and I'll be good once I jump off the cliff. And we just we just can't jump. We just flat out can't do it. And that's the thing, I guess, that like the opposite of what is it? The office opposite of faith is not doubt. It's it's certainty. Right? It's it's being being sure of things. Sometimes we we think of faith wrong,

whereas, if we're called to faith and we feel like we have to be certain, like, that's not the right burden. But there is but the nature of faith is to trust that those things are what they are and to live life in the reality of what you're placing your faith in. And so if you if you say, I believe this thing, but my life doesn't change, I don't live my life as if my reality is impacted by the things that I say I believe, then I don't really don't really believe it. Right? And so what you're saying is is that if we are we are just it's so big to hand all that stuff over and say, I I actually am placing my faith in God in this thing and say my reality has changed in the way that I interact with the world and with other people has changed because of what I believe. And that's a hard thing to grasp onto because we lose all of our attempt at control or understanding and just say that it belongs to God. And and maybe to Andrew's point, like,

why do sometimes we struggle to embrace that when otherwise we may not struggle to embrace that from a from a human leadership perspective? When when obviously God has demonstrated through the things that he's done with humanity that he can that he can and should be trusted as the nature of his character be trusted in those ways. And I think that's hard. Yeah. And and actually, I think some of the things that that they have a harder time jumping because they just assume that that your entire reality changes, like you no longer eat or drink or or or need to, you know, breathe once the parachutes got you. But like that's not the way that's quite not how it works. You know what I'm saying? Like like god will do he will guide the parachute on where it needs to go, but like,

you know, just because you decided to take the plunge and follow this king where where the king was going to lead you, this does not automatically mean you're uprooted from everything that he connected you to to start with. You know, like they they they think they say, okay, if I'm going to follow Christ, then my I gotta be willing to to put my job on the table and my house on the table and I'm going to be willing to move to a foreign country and I will live in the dredges and and here's the deal, if you were smart, you'd do that. Right? Like, not do all those things just because you want to but say, yeah, these are all on the table because I trust the parachute. Whatever the parachute wants to do, I guess I'm cool with. Right? Yeah. But like, it's foolish to think that all of a sudden just because you're flying in the air that your hunger is satisfied, you no longer need drinks, you don't breathe anymore, you look nothing at all like the creation that he made you to be. Cause that would be, that would be inherently a lie in in God's reflection of his own character when he created you in the first place. Right? And so like, I think there's there's some there's some

fear there in in that God's going to change you into something that you don't like. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And he's going to produce something if you let the parachute take the take the breeze and he guides you to something you're like, I don't I don't like this. I don't want this. And look, there is a possibility he will do that. But really, from all the things that you say that you believe about the parachute,

are you any better off holding on to the tree stump? Are you any better off trying to grab onto the the rock on your way out of the cliff? I, you know, I think that's that's foolish. And I say that as an indictment on my own life as as I pass it around. But. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, are you is life looking any different or any any more free with you straddled between a 3,000 foot chasm that you could be, you know, soaring over opposed to you just hanging by the 3,000 foot chasm holding onto a tree and going, yeah, bet that would be sweet. Yeah. Alright.

Alright. That that it, Andrew? Get off my lawn? Get off my lawn. Alright. Alright. Get off her lawn. Follow the right shepherd, I guess. Okay. Hey, listen to Live From The Path. You can find us every week at livefromthepath.org. You can watch past clips from the show, sign up for the podcast, and all that stuff. There was a there was an article about

it said that the Institute on Family Studies released a study Thursday, which found that the couples who attend worship services together or when only the man attends worship services are happier than couples in which neither partner or only the woman attends. Oh, interesting. I don't believe that that makes sense to you, Dan. Yeah. How come?

I I know a lot of families where just the wife will come and then she puts pressure on the husband to come Even when she tries not to, she'll go in spurts. Well, she'll back off, and then she'll start pressuring, and that causes strife in the family because the husband didn't wanna get Oh, that makes sense. That makes sense. It's a man who's kinda leading in that area. Right. It tends to things happen more naturally as opposed to stubborn stubborn dude on the other end of it. Yeah. Okay. Interesting.

Anyway, that just seemed to pop out of me. Mike, you got some got some deer lodge in the path? Yeah. I think so. Hang on. Okay. Alright. I wasn't quite spaced up for him. No. Yeah. Yeah. That's okay. That's okay. I was trying to there was something else in here. Hold on. That was interesting. 2008, they found that married churchgoing Americans were more likely to describe themselves as very happy than Americans who did not attend church regularly. Well, I mean, Christians are liars.

In general. And I don't trust the word happy. They just they just tend to say false things sometimes to prop up like they're like they're Jesus's PR people. You know what No. You know what Jesus makes us super happy. Actually, that's kind of a weird way to put it too because they said 78% of men and women and couples who regularly go to service together or where only the man attends regularly report that they are very happy or extremely happy after adjusting for differences in race, age, education, marital status, region, and other factors. How do you adjust for marital status? Isn't the question as to what earning people? Couples are thinking. A region and other factors? How do you adjust for any of that? Yeah. Right. Well, they're a different ethnic group. They're probably not happy anyway. Yeah. What's up? That's right. Happiness

to someone in New York City probably means a little bit different than happiness in someone in Louisiana. Yeah. Right. Look, the age, they're 70. They must be curmudgeons. 10 difference in the other way. They survived the great depression. Everything's happy. 39. They don't even know stress yet. How did you get married? Forget it. We're we're banning the survey. Preteen couple.

So here's here's their description. Our findings suggest that men's religious attendance is particularly beneficial to the relationships perhaps in part because churches, synagogues, mosques, and temples some of the few institutions in American life that devote sustained attention to encouraging men to invest in their families. Well, that's probably true. So really really this is a question on on on dudes going to church. Who did this survey? It said it's by the

Institute on Family Studies. Okay. Probably people of faith maybe? Yeah. Okay. And it probably said that on on the questionnaire. Yeah. I I, you know, because so so often when a when a person of non faith

tries to study people of faith, they just don't get it. You know? Oh, yeah. Right. They don't get the parachute. You know, they they get, oh, you attend church. That makes you religious. It's like, maybe this has nothing to do with religious. Maybe it's my life, you know? Yeah. And people, just they just don't get it. Anytime you hear like a news investigation

on religion, you know, they're always so surface y and so, I I I always walk away going, you don't have a clue what you just were talking about, do you? No. That's true. You know? It it you know, it also it also brings up the question. This was read later in the article that where there's a issue with correlation and causation. Said it they said that may reflect the fact that males who are settled in their lives and highly socialized are both more likely to succeed in their marriages and more likely to attend church. Once again, it may mean that folks who have their lives together tend to avoid substance abuse, practice good health habits, and go to church. So, like, they're implying that it's not church that made the difference. It's just the people that are have it more together in their marriage are more likely to go to church. But they're not willing necessarily to attribute it to the church attendance. Because their lives are already perfect. So oh, yeah. And we do church too. Yeah. So, that's not exactly a representation of a Christ followers. Just someone that tid's church. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It could be because they should or something. We have a white picket fence. Yeah. And we go to church. Okay.

Go ahead, Mike. What? Moova. I ran into a situation this weekend where that that that

designation of people who who actually have relationship with Christ and people who just attend church kinda came to a spearhead because I was out at at one of the homeless camps this weekend and I met a dude. His name was Lau. And he was talking to me about the fact that he had just graduated from

a program that was a year long substance abuse program where he had to learn about Jesus and

was trying to get clean of of of couple drugs that he was on. And he has a sister who's been a Christian for ten, fifteen years is what he said. She's gone to church for the last ten to fifteen years and she even works within the church. And dude's been been knowing Jesus for about a year now is what he said. And

he had conversations with his sister to where he was talking about deep in faith stuff that he had run into through this, this substance abuse program where she had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Like, she had absolutely no clue what he was saying. And we he was telling us about this and we were understanding him. You know, he was talking about stuff like when you finally are are a part of of the church and finally have have, you know, the spirit within you and things like that. You start to see,

you know, Jesus from a, a different light. But through the process of of getting to know more about Jesus, you find more and more things that, that you thought were okay or or things that, you didn't realize were a problem that you need to start working on. And and God, the Holy Spirit just keeps showing you these things. And he was talking to her about this, and she just had absolutely no clue what he was talking about. And it just made me think to myself about, when you guys were talking about that whole, you know, difference between really knowing Jesus or or the people that are that that checkbox Christian that we we've called them before,

how that works. And and it just drives me nuts with these surveys that we hear about the percentages of Christians that do something like this. But, you know, like you guys said, it's it's a huge amount of people that all they do is check the boxes. That box says they're Christian, but they don't actually have any kind of faith and they don't have any kind of of relationship with Christ. And and then we get this skewed information about how Christians live in America and and all this different stuff. So it just made me think of that, and that's why I made that face. What a crappy life. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, what a crappy life to be hanging out by the cliff for fifth, ten years, fifteen years? Never jumping? Going, yeah. This looks great. I'm good here. It's like you're bored on Sundays. Yeah. Yeah.

I had nothing to do on a Sunday morning. So, figured I'd come here. I mean, I was raised that way. It's just gotta take so much work to claim that you understand the cliff jump. It sounds exhausting. And and then they have never done it. And then have never given a shot. And even to watch it fail. Wouldn't you rather know? Like, I mean, at least you go to the best restaurant in your town and you look at the most expensive item. And one time in your life, you're like, I gotta know. I at least gotta know whether this thing's actually worth $65. I bet it's not. But I'm gonna give it a shot. You know I'm saying? Because there's a chance it might be. And and and you just can't find anybody, you know, that will that will say, I I I gotta give this a go. And most everybody I know that has left the church or left life with Christ never had it. Never jumped the cliff. Really stood 10 feet back from the cliff and saw a bunch of people jumping off and said, you know what? They didn't take enough time to be nice to me. Yeah. Okay. You know, jump off the cliff and be with everybody else because that's where good things are happening. Man, can you imagine just being a bystander to that joy too? Like, you're watching people,

you know, in that in that faith and in that relationship with Christ and they get that joy from that and they get the, the the things that we get that are tangible in our lives, from a relationship with Christ. And that person had to sit there for ten years and watch people, at least in some way deal with it hopefully in this church and just kinda stare at it and go, man, that must be nice. Yeah. I think I think that's where you get people who become fakes and they don't even intend to be but they they mimic it. They they say, well, well, I'll just smile like they're smiling. Yeah. I'll say what they say. Yeah. I'll climb the tree then I appear higher. Yeah. Yeah. They don't they don't even know they're faking it but they just have never they've never jumped. We're in the same building. I must be feeling the same thing. Well, and and that's the thing is and and and but I mean, if they were to ask you because I think Dan's right. I don't even know if they're going at it from a, you know, I'm gonna fake my way into this community. Why would you? Right? If there's pure joy available, you don't take the margarine. And so, there, you know, that they they attempt to fake it and then they get frustrated and go. But like, what would you say is the difference for them? Like, do you think you could convince them that they're phoning it in?

Or do most people reject that? Like, when you say, listen, I gotta be honest with you. You just you haven't jumped off that cliff quite yet. But but I have. Look at me. I'm taller. I'm higher. I feel like I'm floating. Look, there's occasional joy. I I respond to the church Facebook post. Come on, man. This is what it's gotta feel like. And I'm like, I that's the thing. It's like, just don't know how to talk to people in that arena and say, if this is what it feels like, I would bail. You know what I'm saying? If this is all that there is, you know, that that we get to show up and vacuum up the joint. Seriously, if that's if that's all the kingdom of god was offering, I I wouldn't stay. So here's here's my problem is the fact that I I'm not I'm not ever the one that finds myself having those conversations with Christians.

I have difficulty having the converse I have I have more difficulty talking to Christians about Christ than I do walking into, you know, a bar downtown and people are screaming each other, yelling at each other, fighting. And I'd rather have conversation with those people about Jesus than I would Christians. I just I've never found myself not necessarily willing. Maybe it is willing, but in a place where I'd have the conversation with the people that I go to church with. I think it's a tougher I it's a tougher conversation because now we're talking about

down to the nitty gritty. Stuff that you need to change or stuff that you're holding in front of God to actually, I mean, you're basically talking about guys that that guy's out at the bar, you're like, you don't even have a parachute on. I'm telling you what the parachute is and I'm telling you to jump because this is where the joy is and the guys that that are already at the church and can't quite jump. These guys are the ones throwing rocks in their own parachute and you're like, you gotta get rid of these rocks, man. They're keeping you from jumping the cliff. So, I think we're we're just we're gifted differently though. Shepherds, shepherds are rather not not. Yeah, maybe they they're more comfortable talking to the the the church person trying to help them take their next step and and more an evangelist, wired person is it would be more comfortable going to a bar. That god god does get this differently. Enquire us differently. I mean, that's that's legit. Thank god for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because we all be doing the same thing. Yeah. No. That that that's true. I would I'm I'm generally more comfortable

trying to help church people sort out The rocks and the parachute? Yeah. Yeah. Generally. And and the truth is, like, I've what I run into a lot is people miss what what you're kinda talking about, which is people mistaking kinda shallow Sunday school types of answers as if it is deep theological truth.

And not even recognizing when what they're talking about doesn't actually doesn't actually seem to apply to what's going on. Like, well, you know, you've been talking about something that has some sort of depth to it, and then we can say, yes, and and Jesus died for us. I'm like, yeah. But he also wrote a whole Bible and walked on the earth.

And so we should respond to that in addition to the good news of him dying on the cross. And like and and that actually is my where my comfort level is. And I've I've it's difficult for me to just to talk to somebody the way, Buba, that you're talking about. Like, it's a gap in my life. I just I'm not I'm not comfortable doing it. Not because I'm not because I'm afraid of talking about who Jesus is. Yeah. It's just I don't know I don't meet people well on that on that level because it's because it's so important to me. It seems like a big chasm. Like, I just jumped into something that's deeply personal even though they probably wouldn't take it that way because it's not deeply personal to them. They don't even love Jesus. Right? But to me, it feels like I just asked something that, like, really cut to the heart of a relationship that I don't I'm not I don't deserve to have yet. And so, like, that's what it feels like on my end of things. And there's probably there's not a reality to that at all at all points of time, but that's where my comfort level is. So Maybe that's some of our problem though. Because like most of the people that I know that screw up evangelism

are going at it in in a shepherd way. You know what I'm saying? You gotta treat your wife better. You gotta be better with your kid. You gotta stop telling lies. You know I'm saying? Like, they're going at it from a a this is what a kingdom person looks like, instead of just describing the parachute. And the evangelical dude is like, he just he talks about the parachute. That's pretty much all he talks about. And then and then it gets it gets moved into a shepherding conversation. But like most once again, most of the guys I know, I've talked to some some fellows at work about some about some Jesus stuff and like they got they they tried to shepherd him right off the bat. They tried to put him in the shepherd program. They fought it with every being without even talking about the parachute. That's the deal. We keep trying to help non Christians how to be better Christians. Yeah. You don't love Jesus yet. Yeah.

That's why you you need both. You're you're probably a terrible shepherder. Oh, yeah. You know, I mean, or, you know, I don't. That'd awful. I'm saying don't try, but I'm just saying. No. No. I'm saying. If you don't try, boo boo. Yeah. No. That's why I don't. You're getting in the world. Here's deal. Go see your dirty movies. I would I'd much rather the world if you're dirty I would much rather go to Deadpool and talk to the dudes that aren't looking away from the boobies. Just be like, man, you and I both know you don't need to be looking at. Look away now. Oh, I'm I'm sure that what is going on and you're like, hey, I'd like to draw your attention to me for a moment. Whether they're naked. Here's the deal. Here's what I do. I'd wear as I'd wear my banana suit. Yeah. True.

Well, obviously, I'm not gonna poison or pose like that, you weirdo. I'm just saying Why would I say it like that? That's creepy. That's worse. I know what's going on there. I would walk up to them, sit down to them, sit down next to them and look at that situation and say, hey, man, this is a bunch of trouble. And then they go, hey, that was kinda funny. Let's quit. And then situation's over. I'll be like, let me talk to you about Jesus. I don't think that's gonna work. Hey, these jokes have appeal. Let's quit.

Shoot. Why everyone else thought of a clean way to say that. Why did I say the dirty? Yeah. You went straight to the dirty. Dang. And you're the shepherd. I know. Yeah, man. Hey, maybe we need to go to a homeless camp and just talk to some dudes about the parachute. I might not need to be involved in any of this. Someone needs to show me how to be a better better Christian. That's my bad. I I I knew that too. Knew it. See, here's the thing. It pops in my mind. Says, don't first of all, says, you shouldn't have thought of that and then you certainly don't need to say that out loud. I'm like, well Don't make anyone else stumble on this, Ben. Maybe I'll just say that. Banana. Hey, it's a safe room. Whoops. My community.

What a mistake. Alright. Alright. Dear life from the path. I grew up in a poor family on a farm in the South. I worked very hard during my childhood. Throughout my childhood, I was told I was a bad girl, in quotes, who always did the wrong things or who would never stop talking. Yeah. That sounds right. When I was 16, I moved more than a thousand miles away. My mother happily drove me to the airport to go and live with my 21 year old boyfriend. Okay. Not as good. I am 29 now and still live more than thousand miles away. To this day, when I try to discuss with my mother why she sent me away so young, she tells me I was too difficult of a child and that I and that that was what I wanted, so she signed me over to the end of the tenth grade before summer break. I will never forget how happy she was to drop me off at the airport. I wasn't the greatest kid. I know. I know I was bad. Can 16 year olds choose where and with whom they live, or should the parents make those decisions? Please help me. Lost and lonely. I feel like you're asking two questions here. The legality of the situation, which sounds a bit shady to me. And then the morality of the situation.

Yeah. Both of them seemed a little bit maybe not the right move. Is there a dad in there? Is it just mom? Didn't really make a mention of it. Yeah. Doesn't doesn't I didn't hear a dad. Didn't really make a mention of it. But I mean, here's the deal, especially the difficult kid, you need to, parents. This is why god loves strong marriages. You know what I'm saying? You can both get irritated after about an hour and you gotta tag team out. Say, look, you handle these heathens for a little while. I'm done. They take up all my patients within an hour. Go recharge and then, you know, you work for an hour and I'll come back in. So, I mean, I'm I'm not trying to trying to figure out what she wants. So, there's no apology from her. Like, yeah, I really was crappy. I made my mom happy for me to go. She just wanting to diss her mom? Is that it? You know, I don't know. If you look back on your 16 year old self, I don't know that anyone is uber proud. You know what I'm saying? Like, do do do we give a blanket pass to say, look, I was 16.

I didn't know the world as it was. You knew better, ma. Yeah. You knew better. First of all, to send me out. Wait. But what's what's her point? What's she trying to gain from that now? I don't know. Perspective on whether she was that bad or her mom made a poor decision. I think twelve years. Right? I think she feels hurt and wants to be justified in her hurt. Like, because she said Yeah. She called upon the fact that the memory of her mom is nothing but she can't remember anything but the mom being mad or or I'll be excuse me, being happy about letting her go. I think she's just trying to hold. She's just trying to hold on to to something with her mom being wrong rather than her. And What does that do? Well, of course. It's probably not gonna be much, but still sounds like they're trying to find their worth somewhere. Right? Like they're trying to say, look, was I that bad that I deserve to be, given away? Or did my mom screw up and I'm not really that bad? You know what I'm saying? Like, is she Mom stopped maybe she failed mom and being a mom. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And I and and you know, some of that going on in there too. Absolutely. I think there is. Here's the deal. Let me tell you about a parachute I know.

It's just mom screwed up. Absolutely. I think that the mom should not have let her go that soon. Mom called her a difficult child and and now is seeming like she doesn't even wanna have the conversation. It sounds like mom has

might have a little bit of regret about the situation. Probably should. I mean, you know, regardless of difficult child or not, you don't just go, hey, I'm gonna ship you off a thousand miles away, be happy about it, and then rid myself of you. Now, I don't know how the relationship has been since then. I don't know if the mom Seems pretty active. Kept in contact. But, know, regardless You should've sent her to the uncle, not the boyfriend. Yeah. Well, regardless, it it sounds like the mom just shirked off her her responsibilities, for the for the parenting of this child. And ultimately, like you guys have said, it sounds like there's there's possibility where the dad isn't there. And and the dad not being there definitely makes it an easier situation to shirk off. I think dad's just working.

They're on a farm. Yeah. Yeah. This is dad's fault. Well, then dad failed. He's shepherding. Dad was not shepherding his family. No. No. He was not. Yeah. Dad failed which caused mom to fail which caused daughter to fail. Didn't like us. He went out and bailed hay. Yeah. I think if you if you look at this in a healthy way, if she's if if your daughter shows up in tenth grade and says, I'm out of here. I'm done. I'm running away. Here's the deal. There are With a 21 year old boyfriend. With a 21 year old boyfriend. You say, look,

I wish with every heart of my being, you were not doing this. And I will do everything I can to stop you. But like, I can't make you I can't make you change your choices. You have to give people the freedom to make some choices. This one's really on the line for me. Wow. With the boyfriend, man. This was really on the line. And she wasn't smart enough at 16. She's not developed enough to to make decisions like that. Yeah. I'm glad you said that last part because, like, I get the freedom of choice, but, like, I don't know if I'd let my daughter have the freedom to move a thousand miles away. Here's the deal. In the long run, what are gonna do? What are gonna do? Chain her to something? I don't know. Lock her in the house? Well, it didn't sound like didn't sound like she was gonna be able to run away a thousand miles. It sound like mom and dad helped drove her to the airport. That's what that's what I don't understand about this situation is like,

you don't get to bail as a parent no matter what the thing looks like. Right? And there are people there are people out there that are parenting kids that are much tougher than Oh, yeah. Than whatever emotional, you know, I'm having a tough time with you than you think. There's people that are gonna be wiping the slobber off their off their kid's chin for the rest of their life. And that's the deal. Yeah. And and and for you to walk up and say, I can't handle you because of your behavior Yeah. Is not only insulting to the parents that are wiping the slobber. Right? But it just shows that you were not ready to have kids, and you you you're in it for the wrong reasons. Yeah. All that aside. Right? You gotta have a little bit of grace for people. You know, she got in over her head. She didn't know what to do, so she did what she thought was best at the time. It help it would I think it would be helpful for the daughter if you say, look, you deserve better than you got, but it's all I had. That's at least an honest perspective. Yeah. You deserve better than you got, but I gave you everything that I had. And what I had was not enough. And I can tell you that right now. But she's not saying that. Yeah. I I also wanna know more about the boyfriend. Is this an Internet boyfriend? How does a farm girl have a boyfriend a thousand miles away? Well, yeah, I don't know. Good question. No. Did he move? Internet boyfriends are creepy. Shepherds kinda move around like that. True.

No, they don't. Scott would've been a No, they do not. Maybe it was a Wait a minute. What'd you say? She could've been he could've been a carny. You think he was a carnie that he was traveling through? Yeah. Met her and then he settled down a thousand miles away? All the possibilities just makes the most sense. That's true. Definitely a carnie. We have so far have shepherd or carnie. Yeah. Maybe the dad was a carnie as well. Maybe it's a bunch of carnies. I wouldn't include that in the letter because it would have shaded on how he would have responded. Maybe maybe dad was a carny. This kid worked with dad. Yeah. Dad moved away with the kid. Well, then she would have moved away to be with dad. That explains a lot. That's gotta be a deal. Don't be a carny father that moves away from your kids. Let's see what secular says. I feel good for her in this answer. If secular talks about carnies, I'm be pretty excited. What okay. What what what is your answer? What is your actual answer? This girl comes to you looking for this thing. She's not really her question. Her question is, isn't my mom bad? I'm a I'm a tell her to that she's asking the wrong question. We really need to talk about who her family really is and then talk to her about Jesus. That's the honesty. Yeah. Can 16 year olds choose where and with whom they live? No. Or should the parents make those decisions?

Yeah. Parents should make those decisions. Yeah. They did, didn't they? Yeah and they did. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. A different set of parents need to make the decision to keep you home. Yeah. The truth of the matter is, I mean, you got you gotta get past whatever what she's tying to a bunch of emotional crap. She's probably going through a tough time right now and is trying to to pull back from that and try and find a root of of her troubles now. So she wants to ask about something that happened twelve years prior. And and and and what is what is the root of it? Look, your mom's opinion of you does not define who you are. Yeah. That's it. And here we go. Jesus loves you. Yeah. You can start right now. Let's talk about here Grab the parachute. Let's take the parachute. Let's Let's talk about Let's start today. Your mom is actually one of the rocks,

to be honest with you. Our god is father to the fatherless. That's right. Let's see what secular says. It's a shame that when babies emerge, they don't bring with them a set of detailed instructions. You appear to be the daughter of a woman who didn't know how to be a good mother. Children who receive positive reinforcement for good behavior are usually better behaved than those who have it drilled into them from a young age that they are bad. When that happens, the child begins to believe what the parent is saying and act on it. While some 16 year olds are mature enough to decide where and with whom they want to live, it's usually with a relative or qualified guardian and not a boyfriend. However, from reading your letter, I can't escape the feeling that what's really bothering you is the idea that by giving in to your wishes, your mother rejected you. To work that through, you may need the help of a licensed therapist or parachute.

Right. Cheaper. Parachute. Maybe both. Ready? Yep. They're live from the path. I am a girl in my junior year of high school. My boyfriends of three years is very good to me. Affectionate, attentive, and very good looking. I don't think he cheats on me, but he does have serious flatulence.

Wait. No. You made that up. You did that was That's really what it says? You put a funny word in there when he said something like he doesn't take care of his back hair or something. He thinks it's hilarious. And does it impart Is this real? Just to embarrass me to death. Oh, boy. He also does it at the end of lovemaking. Oh. Which I think is gross, and he thinks is the funniest thing in the world. Life from the past, he's the only serious boyfriend I've ever had. Are all guys this gross and inappropriate? It's putting a serious damper on how I feel about him. Please help me to save our relationship. So here's the here's the situation. You're in a serious relationship at 17 that has now gotten physical.

No matter what has happened, you need to back out now. Especially if you're now seeing the immaturity of this kid for a, being willing to to go to a physical relationship with you to this point. And b, finding so much fun and flatulence after a sad situation. Here's the deal. Passing passing some Paul Gano wind is funny. It is funny. Yeah.

She she doesn't she doesn't have a girlfriend. She has a boyfriend. Boys fart. Yes. That's just how it is. Yeah. Right? They do. Now he he's making some poor choices. She's made the worst choices. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Put your legs together. Stop it. There's something to be said for Dan saying that. I'm just saying. I don't know. I've been on the show for a couple years now. I just you never really get prepared for that statement to come from Dan's Dan's mouth. But I definitely agree with it, Dan. Yeah. Well,

here again, what's the here again, this is why ladies have to be very careful on who they choose to share their life with because they're expecting something that men at that I will call them boys at that age. There you go. Aren't prepared to give. They're not responsible enough to give. They're not getting into the same agreement you think you're getting into. When you when you get well, notice all the things that she said about him. He's affectionate, attentive,

and good looking. Okay? He is not affectionate or attentive. I can almost guarantee you both these things. You don't know what that looks Low bar. Yeah. Of affection and attentiveness. Because I know what those men look like. And you know what they look like? They're defeated. They don't even have enough energy to let one rip before they go to bed. They are wiped out from all the work that they've done that day and and all the attentive stuff that they've tried to do. Like, it wears a man down because it's not their natural habitat. Yeah. You asked the dude what he thought about during the day, he'll give you the the four things and that's it. He thought of four things. The women have 75 things. Don't go in ahead, how they're gonna organize this, what they're gonna do, what's gonna happen if she calls and says this thing, well, it look like I'm aligned with this gal. Oh, man. That will hurt her feelings, blah blah blah. Dudes are like, I should probably fill up the gas in the mower for this weekend because that'll be real trouble. I don't wanna have to go up there twice. That would suck. And I wonder if she'll think it's funny this time. I'm fart next I wonder I wonder if I really gotta fart in here if there's gonna be a deal. Hey, man. I'm at the place where I think even think about someone I'm never gonna meet. We'll never talk to him. We'll never see farting as funny. Yes. She'll think it's funny this time. Yeah. That's what that's the Or or she won't, but this is totally worth it. Yeah. It's still funny to me. I call this the lawn mower. That'll ties in with that gas thing I was gonna buy. I'm the funniest man alive. I know too.

So I so really what it boils down to is like you are living in a self deceived bubble.

Listen, I'm this is terrible to say. But but listen, a guy that you you have an intimate relationship with and, like, there is teasing your lady and then there is being completely inappropriate and showing no respect for her. Right?

And so, like, you know, maybe you tried that fart action one time and she wasn't digging on it. That should have been your line. And that's the end of it. And so like, there's enough here for me to say, first of all, you know, there's a parachute available. You're looking for good stuff on land.

It's not available to you. Like, you've made the best of what bet you've made do with what you could find, but like, you don't know what's available. And like, you got you gotta be done with this man. He's he it's time for him to go. Yep. Even in secular terms, I would say it's time for him to Don't go move on. I would double say it in in in bigger picture worldly terms as far as god is concerned. Like, I just I'm telling you there's parachutes available and there's good times ahead. There's joy to be found outside this dude. But, like, even just a black and white, hey, this guy farts after we have sex. I would say, you know what? You're done with him.

That's it. You're done. Yeah. And both I think people would say, look at that silly. Well, if it's silly, then he should just stop it. I mean, mean, you know, I don't know. Sometimes maybe he should stop eating. I don't know. Well Maybe there's a lot of people. Here's the deal. There's there's ways to otherwise go about these types of things. You know? You're talking like a left cheek sneak. Or leave the room for a second. Here you go. Excuse yourself to the restroom. Now hold on. This is gonna look different. You finish up lovemaking, you're like, gotta go. Womp. No. I don't think that's gonna go over very well.

He's not saying do it then leave because that'd be real awful. Yeah. Probably that'd be even worse. Yeah. Hey. Thanks for the love, Megan. Womp. Walk away. I'm gonna get some to drink you want. That's true, man. Put two thoughts together. Do something smooth. Yeah. Say like, hey, I'm gonna make a milkshake. You want some milkshakes? Breakfast? Yeah. I'm I'm cooking dinner. Any of the case, we're done with him. Yeah. Johnny affectionate is out. Anybody else wanna defend this man? No.

Secular says, your boy oh, boy. Your boyfriend's problem isn't his flatulence. It's his immaturity. You think? What? Young children think the flat flatulence is fall down funny. But they yeah. Yeah. Let's do this. All adults still think it's funny. They usually outgrow the kind of humor you describe by the time they reach his age. That's not reason that's not true. No. Here's the deal. She needs a girlfriend too. Yeah. We just move it to more appropriate places. When you're when you're two years old, you scoot across the front room and you womp it and you're like, yeah. When you're when you're say 30, you just go either around your fellas or you do it in a room by yourself and go, that's the best one all day. Yeah. Best one. Hadn't been in freedom. I can do that tonight. That's right.

She says, tell him what he's doing isn't funny to you, that it's making you think less of him and will be a deal breaker if he doesn't stop. Now, hold on. That's that's not how it works. Like, tell me that it's not funnier when when she goes, hey, that's not funny. Like, yeah, it is. Like, I'm sorry. That's not really moving the needle for me. You find more fun in the opposition. Yeah. Exactly. Just the reaction you like. Yeah. She says, if you do, it may save the relationship unless you want to continue being the girlfriend of the class clown Or should I say, no class clown. Or a dude in general. Yeah. That's not a Men. Yeah. There's a here's the thing. There's difference between

there's difference between, like, specific problems that you're having with your with your man and man problems. Wind is just a man thing. That's not like your guy isn't gross and has more gas than everybody else. It's a man problem. Just, you know, call a lady up and say, hey, is your dude wind? But I guess he does the wind. He laughs at it. He thinks it's funny. You know, like, it's that's a dude problem. That's not like, don't pile it onto the list of things as to why your relationship's messed up. That's just a man problem. Yeah. Alright. We got one more here. Yeah. We do one more. Dear life from the path. As an older male retiree,

I frequently encounter people at social gatherings who tilt their heads back, narrow their eyes, and ask, exactly what was it that you did at x y z corporation? What? This is a specific description? It's a very specific x y z is obviously generalized. But here we go. When they find out, was what they consider to be just a paper pusher, they abruptly turned their backs and walked away. Can you suggest an appropriate response to this form of snobbery?

Yeah. Walk the other direction. Yeah, man. I'd stop going to these parties. Yeah. Stop going to these social gatherings. Stop hanging out with Get the yourself a sweet hobby, old man. You got time. Start whittling. I mean, is this more complicated than his house? No. Hang out with different people who who like like the wind. This guy has no idea where his worth comes from. He wants to find it in social gatherings, and he's not currently. What's I mean, is he embarrassed of being a paper pusher? I mean, to be fair, I mean, there's not a whole lot of follow-up questions to Iran and the stapler.

Yeah. Agreed. But like Well, how often did you have to reload it? I mean, what else do you wanna ask a guy? Hey, man. That's actually something I would ask someone. I would turn around and go, well, that sound like a sweet gig. See you, buddy. Yeah. This this guy might be more hurt than he needs to be and is is painting it off like people are legitimately just going paper pusher and then walking away. That may not be the situation. If it is, I would say stop going to these social gatherings and find yourself in different places. Maybe find another set of dudes that you're willing to wind around. Because he's faced this his whole life. This is the job he's always had. Yeah. Yeah. So he It's just now his retiree thing. And hanging with different people and get a different response. Yeah, man. It's like Here's the deal. Who are these snobby people who are expecting a retiree to be someone who's made millions? Like a janitor retires eventually. Who? Nothing wrong with that guy. That guy, you know, pushed a broom for sixty years. That is admirable. You got a story or two in there. Yeah. Exactly. Like, hey, I remember this one time I cleaned up after an entire assembly of people who threw up. It's like, tell me about that, Chuck. Yeah. So here's the deal. It's like, everybody actually has stories like that. So the truth is, like, I feel like he's not trying.

But it gives we say, hey, what did you do? And say, well, I worked for x. And if there's something interesting about that that you'd like to share, just share it. Don't expect them to be like, hey, can you, like, tell me an interesting story or did you ever push paper at this time? Oh, claims adjuster. James, were you an astronaut or a cowboy? Neither? Well, I'm walking away. Well, and that's the thing. It's like, why don't you just open with that? Like, you know, what exactly did you do at x y z corporation? Nothing. I was I was of no consequence to that place. I supported my family. But I did. I mean, rock climbing. Let me tell you what my family did. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, bring up something that you is interesting about you. I mean, if you had a non interesting job, I'm assuming that you're getting inviting to social gatherings because you did something with your life. Yeah. So just say, look, I was meaningless there. I spent all my time blah blah blah making the world's biggest Lego castle in my basement. I worked there for fifty years and I I stapled some stuff, but I had a sweet vacation in Barbados last year. It's like, yeah. Yeah. Find something fun. Yeah. You're you're asking how to solve your inability to work in a social situation.

You're like, what do I do about my awkwardness? You're not you're you're your question is way too pointed. Just say, in general, don't know how to handle myself. To your life from the past, I'm an awkward person. Yeah. How do I handle that? It is amazing, though, how how adults treat other adults in the work world. Like like, my my wife just changed jobs. Right? She's been in a school district for fifteen years as an associate which is about the bottom of it is the bottom of the totem pole of

public education. Right? I mean, it is it is a scourge job. And they treat you like that. People don't make eye contact with you. They don't talk to you. You say hello to them. They ignore you For fifteen years, basically. Yep. Now, she's the administrative assistant to one of the principals.

And everybody is talking to her as a peer. It is never it's it's a completely different world. I mean, it's like birds sing when she walks down the hall. She's like, I'm I'm the same person. You guys just make me sick. Wow. Say that makes me sick. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, that makes me angry. Different. She's in a different school. She went to move to a different building which she probably needed to and now she's getting all the heaps of praise because she did a great job for fifteen years and and people miss her but it it is. People, people just treat you completely different. Now, because she has a different title, it's the same person, people are looking and communicating with her completely differently than they did. A week ago. Yeah. You know, and it's just like, It is kind of sad that it's that obvious. Yeah. I mean, it it's it's night and day different.

You know, I've never I've never been any good at that. Oh, yeah. Like, I've always had a problem with talking to people in higher authority to me the same way I would talk to the guy that, you know, is works in the parts department. And it's actually gotten me in trouble a couple times. Because here's the deal. Like, it's I I think it's perceived that that with exposition comes, you know, this way of speaking. You know what I'm saying? But like as far as I could tell, it felt like a lie to me because I would never talk to that man that way. It doesn't matter what job he held. Uh-huh. And so, you know, I've I've arm wrestled a couple people that are quite a bit, know, quite a pie up in the company. And I told them that their speech was terrible, and I just was just here for the free soda.

It's awesome. I'm lucky they found it funny. What do think, Booba? I don't know. I I I wish I could say that I did that. I used to posture so much to people that No. Yeah. No. Imagine me. Imagine that. I work in the corporate world and I would never do that. But No. Who's No. If I found out if I found out there was a visitor that came to town, like, I'd make certain that I met them and spent time with them and, like, introduce myself even when I was an associate. I'd, like, I would intentionally run to them and not run into them in the hallway and just talk to them a little bit. And, you know, now when I'm a little bit of one rung higher in the company, like, it's it's made it so where I have a little bit more of a of a a direct relationship with those people. But not not enough to say that it was worth it.

At one point in time, I got an accidental call from a VP. And, like, I went and talked to my HR about how I should handle this situation. I was like, should I should I call this person back? Should I send them an email? You know, should I just leave it alone? Or do you think it might have been an accidental call? Or what do I do? I literally went and talked to HR about it. And nowadays, I just look back and I'm like, what kind of posturing was I trying to do? Should just call them back like, hey, man. You need something? You called my phone, bro. You called my phone. Who calls my phone and doesn't leave a voicemail? What do want? Yeah. That's rude. So yeah.

Alright. Let's get secular's advice here. K. When someone asks that question, you might smile and respond. You know, I'm having such a great time in retirement. I can't really recall what I did there. Lie. Stupid. I

don't remember sixty five years of my life. Somebody said that to me and be like Slammer showed up. Yeah. Somebody says that to me and we go, oh, okay. Well, you do remember. So what was it Yeah. Maybe you should have put the Jack Daniel down for a little while. So you were a drunk your entire career. Or if you're feeling mischievous, you could call out after the person. Just kidding. I was the CEO. Advice is hard give? This is the worst cocktail party

how to guide ever. And if the person turns to come back, turn your back and walk away because if your perception is correct, you have been conversing with someone who has terrible manners and no class. So here's the deal. Secular's advice is to if you when you run into a guy that has no class, you join him. You out class you have no class in him. That's right. You get rid of all your class too, and then you will both be no class fools. Stoop to that level. No. Stoop lower. These are this is terrible advice. Seriously. Thanks for that one, secular. Oh, mercy. Is this what the parachute offers differently? Look, you just act the same. Yeah. You just be you. Be a human being. That's it. And be happy that you are. That's

you know, actually, that that's come up for me a few times lately where where people are looking for some sort of advice or direction. And and like, one of the things the Christian life offers is consistency. It's it's like, as the environment changes around you, when if the nature of being faithful in the means is is that you you actually get to keep asking acting the same way even as the environment flips. In good good times, bad times,

like, whatever the certain people are acting like, jerk people are acting awesome. It just it really is just irrelevant. You just continue to be faithful in the means and God handles the ends. So like, it it it ultimately de stresses your life, Because there isn't much that could happen around you that otherwise doesn't it doesn't make sure make things that are easy to handle, but like

how you acted yesterday is really how you get to act today. It's just happening in a different environment. It's like as things have changed around you. But like, don't I know. Like, it's kinda it's kinda nice to be able to lean back and say this is just how things are. I'm honest today. I was honest yesterday. I will be honest tomorrow. And like there isn't anything about the situation that can change that will make it say, don't live a life of integrity and be honest. And so that's just how it is. Like, it's just easier to live life. You're not carrying around a bunch of I don't know how to act in this situation. Well, am I being faithful and righteous and honest? Well, okay then. Thanks for fighting. You could claim to be the CEO and then turn your back on. Yeah.

Yeah. That's an option. I'm actually too good for you through my lies. Yeah. And here's my back. And this is gonna be weird if you say tap me or follow me. That's awful. That's just awful. Hey, Stu. Why'd you turn your back on me? Well, I was trying to prove a point. Done. I did it before you could. Yeah. Well, everything doesn't it is that like, she not thinking through this? Because I feel like I I try not to put myself in a situation where I think, boy, if I get caught here, I will look double foolish.

And like that's exactly what you've done. Like, well, I'm gonna take a stand and then someone just gonna be like, hey, why are you why are you overreacting by turning your back on me or walking just wanted to know. Yeah. My dad was a paper pusher. That's a respectable position. And here's the deal. He's he's obviously undercutting his own experience. That's not a title. No one actually says I hired you as a paper pusher. Yeah. You're doing something. And like that you say, oh, well, I just pushed paper. If you dismissed it, how could you be upset that other people are also dismissing it as not important? No. That's true. And actually, what you're you're doing is you're buying into the lie where you're like, everyone says, was a manager of this. I was a manager of that. And I'm sitting there thinking, you know, that guy got to go home every day at, like, 04:00, and he made good money. And he didn't get wrapped up in a bunch of weird crap or was involved in a bunch of stressful stuff. He just showed up, stamped that paper, moved it right along, and loved his wife and kids. Yeah. That dude has got it figured out. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's trying to climb the corporate ladder to what? So they can be weighed down by more responsibility for less money just so you can say, they gave me a name tag.

You dummy. You're a dummy. The life has fooled you. You know what I'm saying? You have believed the lie. You have exchanged the truth for a lie, and you have climbed the corporate ladder, which equals terrible which is not terrible pay. It looks to be better pay. Except for when you take the $85 they're offering you, spread that over seventy five hours a week. Now you're making $8 an hour. The kid raking your yard has made better decisions than you have. And and you're sitting there worried about, is the decision I'm gonna make today? I think they're gonna fire me. I think we're gonna downsize. I'm gonna have to fire another guy. You're an idiot. You should rake yards for $8 an hour and go and be happy and be a happy man. Right. If paper pusher didn't like it, he shouldn't have kept the you know, like, he should he could have done something else. But really what he's getting upset about is if someone says, hey, what did you do? And he basically says, I'm unimportant. And then they respond as if he was unimportant, and then he's surprised at the nature. Yeah. Hey. Hey. They're treating me like I'm unimportant. Well, is that what you told them? Yes, it is. Well then. They should read between the low and then. Maybe they were right. That's fine. You got the right job for him. Let's see. I tried to talk to someone and basically influence how they thought of me through guilt and manipulation, and it didn't turn out right. What is your advice for me? Stupid.

Alright. You got you got one more over there? We do one more and we'll be out here. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. I wasn't I wasn't prepared for one more. Deer, still not prepared. I'm just kinda guessing. Deer, lie for a fact. Oh, no. That's too much. That's too heavy. We don't wanna talk about that. Couple feels taken for a ride by freeloading friends. Oh, yeah. This is up early right here. Your life from the past. I've been married to my husband for eleven years. Okay. We are financially and emotionally stable. We recently became friendly with another couple who are newly married, and the man wins all the time.

Another couple who are newly married and not as financially secure as we are. They spend frivolously. When we go on vacation, they invite themselves along and assume they are staying in our travel trailer without asking. They have their own trailer they could bring. They don't offer to help pay for gas? The last trip the last trip we took, the wife cooked only one meal while I prepared the rest for a three day trip. This upcoming trip, they haven't offered to bring any meal. We don't mind sharing what we have and helping our friends out. Yes. You do. But we are starting to resent is the assumption that because we make more money, we'll pick up the tab for everything. Are we wrong to feel this way? My husband and I both are are seeing this the same way. Here's the deal. I had this conversation not two hours ago. You cannot be upset with people who you refuse to discuss with them as to why you would be upset. Yes. You can't expect them to change behavior unless you actually talk to them about the behavior that you don't like. And so you're being ridiculous. But how excuse me. How hard would it be to be like so you're making planes to go and said, hey, we'll take Monday, Wednesday, Thursday for dinner. Why don't you guys take Tuesday,

whatever the ones I didn't say? You take those. Whatever those days of the week are. And then what and then and here's the thing. You don't even have to confront a guy. You just said, we'll take these. Why don't you guys take those? And then what are they gonna do? Well, we prefer to free load off you. Yeah. Okay. At least it's held in the open. What happened to our contract of you obviously make more money than us and are much more financially and emotionally stable,

and therefore, you're gonna foot the bill for everything. This just Then you have an open conversation about the fact that, well, yeah, how do you think you're gonna get to our place? You gotta start making good financial decisions. And how about, hey, why don't you you guys got a camper. Why why you bring why don't you bring your own camper? Pansy isn't willing to have this conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Who says, hey, we're going on vacation and someone says, we'll go with you. And they don't say, no, you won't. I feel like I would never have that situation where someone was just like, I'm like, hey, man. I'm a go have lunch. And then one of my buddies goes, yeah, me too. You're paying. I'm either gonna go, okay, that works for me because we have that relationship or I'm gonna go, no. No. I'm not gonna do that actually. Thanks for asking though. Like some random stranger walks up to me, hey, man. Pay for my lunch. I see you got food. I feel like this has some parallels to the to the feast or whatever where the guy sat himself at the table and then had to get And had to get moved? You know I'm saying? Don't seat yourself at the high place. It would be better to to walk to walk up and say, hey, you guys are going on vacation? We were thinking about taking one. Maybe we'll see you there. Yeah. Maybe we'll go. We can bring a trailer.

Here's the deal. Like, in my own experience, I only know this because this is the way my wife operates. But, like, I mean, we've gone places with people that do pretty good they make good money. And but, like, she always offers us to bring the same the same amount of stuff and lets them talk us out of it. That's not her goal. I'm sitting really I'm thinking in the back like Yeah. I hope they talk us out of it. Yeah. Right. We don't wanna be that generous. I don't think we can afford that. But like she will she says, well, you know, we'll cover half the meat or we'll bring the meat or you bring the whatever. And I mean, because it would be embarrassing for someone to think otherwise. You know, that we were looking to freeload off of them. That is more embarrassing and we don't want to take advantage of people's generosity. And so like, I would be more embarrassed if they if I thought they thought that of our family. And so it's odd that actually the the frivolous couple isn't like overselling it and getting talked down. I wonder if so as a matter of fact, I'm being just as in my mind is ruling this over. I'm becoming more and more confident. Is that this this frivolous couple is not taking advantage of them like they say.

This the other couple is extremely passive aggressive. Right? Like like, to the extent that they are not have not said anything to date, I bet they're not saying they invite themselves. They're like, oh, hey, we'd like to go along too. And they're like, oh, yeah. You can do it. Because they simply do not know how to handle anything in the situation to be able to respond and push back on them. So they're basically getting stomped on, but they're permitting it. So that's my guess is that they're, they're they're shading the way that they're describing it. It's not really happening as bad as they think or or as as they're representing. But if they say it that way, it justifies a little bit of the behavior as opposed to taking some responsibility that says, yeah, they kind of been asked if they could come along and we were too embarrassed or didn't know how to handle saying no. And so we just let them do that and we think, well, they need to stop taking advantage of us. No. You need to grow up and have a conversation with someone when they say, hey, I'm coming about. You'd be like, well, you know, if you wanna get in your own trailer and buy your own meals and end up in the same relative space we are because like, we're neighbors, so we're kinda used to that. So, you know, do what you wanna do. Hey, man. I mean, how far how financially poor can they be if they have their own trailer?

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Know what the point. That owns the trailer. No. The the trailers are at the extremes of society. People with absolutely no money seem to have come across trailers, and then see people that have big money have trailers. It's the middle ground folks that don't really have that stuff. That's one. That's a valid point. Yeah. It's a bunch of crap. I mean, I can take a small trailer and work my way up if that's the deal. No. It's not how in fact, you go by to some of the dumpiest places ever and they got like two. They got like an RV. They got a trailer that like, hey, man. Maybe they got like five vehicles on the property. People that don't have any money need to start selling those vehicles to people that do. Actually, I thought of that. I've been kind of keeping an eye for an RV, and I saw a real shanty one. And I said, hey, man. I wonder if I could just give that guy $500. But here's the deal. He knows exactly what's wrong with it.

And, he it came from his grandpa, and he he probably wants, $2 more than what it's worth because it means something to him. Yeah. And so he impart well, he impart you can't even get a bargain from that guy. That's why he's got five vehicles. I figured actually figured that out about people that are still driving like an old jalopy around. And I'm like, why don't you just get a new vehicle? But the truth of the matter is is like their income only allows them to bay to buy like a thousand dollar vehicle. And they're like, I would rather be murdered by the wolf I know than the wolf I don't. You know what I'm saying? Like, he's fixed the window regulator. He's put a carburetor on this thing. He knows when the fuel pump starts to act funny. You know, he knows that you you you got three days on the front right tire before you gotta stop and fill it up again. And so you're gonna trade that beast off or sell it out for another thousand dollar mystery vehicle? No. No. No. They'll just stick with the jalopy they know and say, I know this beast by name. This is no problem. Yeah. Yep. That's how people stay married. Go ahead. Solid. Secular says, it's not wrong not to want to be taken advantage of. This wouldn't be happening if you had established some rules in the beginning, but it isn't too late to do it now. Call the wife. Tell her what you expect her and her husband to bring on the next trip and what tours they will be expected to perform. It isn't fair that you're doing all the work and paying for everything while they are on your vacation. They should provide or pay for half the groceries, half the gas, and share any housekeeping responsibilities. Ditto if you go to a restaurant. And the next time they tell you they are only coming with you that they are coming with you on your vacation, don't hesitate or feel guilty when you reply, we'd like some privacy this time. So it'll just be the two of us.

That seems like extremely extremely weird way to handle it. Like, did he say that you haven't said anything up to this point? And all of a sudden, you call them and say, hey, I expect the following. Yeah. Like, that's not a good way to introduce it. You went from passive aggressive to straight up aggressive. Yeah. Don't see problem. Don't see any problem there. Actually, but here's the thing. I'm under the the mind that, like, I would either pay for it all if I had the money and not really give it much thought or say,

look. We can't afford that. So And that's why you don't write in with this problem. So you do what you want. You know, that's your call. Your you can follow us around. You can even stay in this camper if you want, but all four of us are spreading a hunger man meal. So if that's what you call a vacation, then I suppose you can come with us. But I called the leg. Me and the wife are gonna split this one steak that we bought, and I I don't know that I'm gonna give you by a quarter. Not gonna happen. I'm gonna say it, like, for him not having said anything up to this point, to then come up like like, you're you're stock full of ammo from all the times you didn't say anything, and that's not their fault. Yeah. You know? Have it have it like it's the first time it's come up because that's really it is the first time it's come up. You didn't bother saying it before. That's not their problem. Yeah. Hey. Our next vacation, how about we split it? Or, hey. Like, just assume they're going and say, look. You again, just take the meals. Or, We we'd, it gets a little crowded in our trailer. Why don't you take yours and we'll take ours? I find that brutal honesty works pretty well in these situations. When people say blah blah blah blah blah, maybe we could come vacation with you. You say, No. I'm not really interested in that.

They won't they will be so taken aback by what appears to be a very rude statement, they won't ask you no more questions about it. You told them the truth. They got the point. You didn't drag it out for a couple days or have any him haw conversations about it. You said, look, I'm not interested in going on vacation with you. Love. Yeah. Love. Say love after it if you want. And look, I screwed it over a little bit. Alright. You're listening to Live From The Path. Thanks for hanging out with us tonight. Again, you can sign up for the well, you're on the podcast. Livefromthepath.org. Just check that stuff out. We got stuff to look at. And be faithful in the means. Hey, listen to me. Listen to me. If you're making some sort of weird political choice, I don't assume you're in the Super Tuesday voting block, but here's the thing. Faithful in the means. You hear me? Faithful in the means. Don't prescribe the ends. God will handle those. You've been listening to Live From The Path.