Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live from the path. And you're listening to live from the Pathway

Studios here in Johnston proper. What are saying? No one said anything. No. Shoot. I had oh, I thought I had something of genius to say, and I and I've lost it. It had to do no. No. No. It wasn't good at all. It wasn't good. Hey. It's the book of Nehemiah I was reading a bit of Nehemiah this week. Mhmm. And

there was this there was a few chapter, like, a few chapters in the middle. Seems to just like, he knows he's writing something people will read later. Like, it looks like like you could call the book the defense of Nehemiah. Because, like, whatever. I think it was chapter two or three, and he's like, these people tried to do this thing, and I told them. I told them I did. We were supposed to do blah blah blah. And then something else happens, and then he reminds at the end, I called him to task like I was supposed like, it was it's very Isn't Nehemiah the beard ripper?

No. Ain't there somewhere in Nehemiah where he starts ripping beards? Oh, okay. Hold on. Let's see. Bible beard rip. Okay. That's oh, no. They're not Isaiah. 16 bible verses about beards. Okay. Here we go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now we're talking.

I don't know why we haven't been on this website before. Hey. Here's the thing. I I realized I did realize this week oh, wait. Nathaniel, talk into your mic, will you? Here I am. Okay. Now you're back. Okay. Yeah. Sorry. So I realized this week that that, like, I'm super impressed with people who who spend their time well because I just I'm a total time waster. Like, I cannot

nail down, like or or under my own volition, do do things that will say you would use your time wisely. Like like, if if if left to my druthers, I would waste time just constantly. I have no motivation not to waste time. And, like, people get up and they write. People get up and they read. People sustain good things in their days. And like, I'm not even talking about, hey, you're wasting your time on your phone. I mean, like, I would sit there

if given a choice to do to like, hey, you wanna do anything? No. I don't think I'm gonna do anything. I'm gonna oh, I'll just sit and sit there and stuff. And I thought, this is a bad personality trait. This is terrible. Like and I find myself to be a fairly productive person, but it's because I just have the mechanisms in my life of which I have to do things. Like, I have to show up and and and maintenance the computer at the radio show. I have like, I care enough about the impact to somebody else that I'll generally do things. But, like, if all the laundry was cut up and I'd eaten relatively recently and none of my family was around for three days, I mean, I'd probably just sit there. I just Like looking out the window or Yeah, I could. Or better, like I could just go to sleep.

Hey, it's 08:30. I don't care. Can go to sleep right now. Yeah. I actually, those constraints put on us are dumb anyway. I don't see any reason you can't pull up on a nap just about any time of the day. Are you sitting around thinking about stuff, though? No. No? Your mind is awash? I might, but I mean, I'm not ponder I'm not pondering in a in a a helpful way. A place where, like, hey. Let's think about the world's problems. And it's or or, like, I really I really wonder what's going on at that guy's house and how I could be of service. No. No. Well, you are legit. Numb. Yeah. A massive uselessness. I know. I know. This it scares the crap out of me because, like, I have had certainly had points in my life where,

like, like so so no joke. If you go into my house and you look on the side of of the the wall, we got like a wherever your fridge is at, there's like a wall next to it. Well, it's not a wall, it's just like the end of the cabinets. And there's a list attached to it that has a it's a to do list for the house. K? It's three pages long. Wow. Yeah. Mostly I'm I'm guessing your wife adds to it mostly, not you. No. No. Yeah. She created this list. Okay. Got it. K? And we've already crossed some stuff off. This is the refreshed list that is down to three pages. Okay. Okay? And so I had some guys mocking me. They're like, hey, man. I feel like a list of homeless is anything more than half a page, and I'm not gonna get to it or whatever. And so three pages just seems outlandish. And it's been like this at my house for probably the whole time I've been married. We always got three pages worth of stuff that could be done. And and and seriously, like, if if I found myself with, like, just some like, work was a little bit downtime, and maybe the wife and kids were gone, I thought, boy, I got, like, a free hour, hour and a half. I should do something. And, like, I got a whole list. I got tons of stuff to do. I could even make dinner or like watch TV or something and like I might everything within me goes, man, I don't really wanna do any of that. Like, I'm just gonna let that

you know. And then I'll do something they I'll do something on the list so that when my wife comes home, I'm like, yeah, knocked the thing out of the list there. But like, I choose the easiest thing so that it can justify the fact that I probably just would like it's everything it would I have to force myself to do it. Everything in me wants to sit there and not do anything. Now, see, if I have a list, I have to do it. You feel compul I just have to. Yeah. I wanna say I wanna cross that puppy off and get it done. Well, usually, about this time of year, we haven't done it, haven't even thought about it till just now. We'll make a list for the summer. Was like, okay, what stuff do we wanna get done this summer? And then I like that. And you feel like and you gotta do it. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it. Otherwise, I'd go, no. We're fine. You're like the Roomba. You gotta set you in the room, you're gonna bounce around and get it done until it happens. You're out of batteries. You have to go back to charge charge time. Do you travel, Dan? Because I could put you in my kitchen. Okay. So Dan feels compelled to do it. Mike? Only if I have a list. Yeah. I our lists are usually way shorter than that, but they're way

like, they're really vague and and take a lot of take a lot of work. Right? Like, it doesn't say, like, paint, trim, and living room. It goes, remodel living room. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And there's, like, tearing all the drywall out and running can lights and putting new insulation and like so but our lists are small. They're just gigantic things. And I psych myself out. As soon as I walk in the house, I feel the weight of whatever list is there, and I'm like, man, I can't do anything. It's like the eye of Sauron. Yeah. I mean, it's ridiculous. Like, it's it's a way of overreaction on my part, and I've I've let it get me down for like a day or two. And finally, the wife said, look. You gotta stop acting like this. You're making me angry. I'm like, that's legit. Yeah. Okay. I think that's fair. Because I'll get super mad about it. I'm like, I got no time to do anything. You know? And, like, I hadn't literally done anything, but the thought of doing something was weighing heavy on me. And so I got all spicy about it, and I was weighing the wrong. And so that's why the Lord hands over to spouses to give you a quick turnabout and go, look. You are not only embarrassing yourself, but me by association. You need you need to tuck this up. You realize you've done nothing. So given a man in my position,

I I have a choice between telling the truth or doing what I'm supposed to do. Because like, if my wife says something like, hey, man, you wanna come outside and help me? The truth is no. I do not. No. I got this list. I do I do not want to go out there. But it seems like the right thing to do to come out. And so I sometimes I'll try to shade it. She go, hey. You wanna come out here? And I say, yeah. I'll come out. But that wasn't what she asked me.

Is that right? Is that alright? No. I Yes. Need to Okay. Yeah. But yeah, there's a great poet of the of the early twenty first century named Ben Fusz who says, you live your minutes or you live your days like you live your hours like you live your minutes. And so if the man you wanna be is the one that goes out and helps his wife, then you say, yes. I will be out there. And in that minute, you were the man you wanted to be. But she says Not the man that you are. But do you want to be out here? And then I say, no. I do not. Yeah. You actually do, but the better part of you does not. I wish I was a person that did. I can say that. Yeah. Your whole life is the whole the whole the whole life is you trying to be a better person than you actually are. We'd both be happier if I wanted you out here. Well, I don't want you out here if if you don't wanna be out here, and I say, all's fixed then.

Yeah. It sounds like we got this tucked out. The the truth has set me free. Wow. My my my dog has, like, seven, you know, tennis balls and little bones and all kind you know, just all winter long, he gets this new stuff. And and he takes them outside in in the wintertime and hides them from all of us and himself. So the spring, you know, I have stuff all over my backyard. So I've been telling my wife lately, man, it should be nice to have I gotta mow soon, and maybe the two of us could go out there and pick everything up besides all the sticks. And she just looks at me like, yeah. Well, we'll see. And I I probably said that seven times in the last couple weeks. And then finally, I said, well, I'm going to mow now. She's like, yeah. Okay. Seems alright. So I spent my half hour picking up all the bones and sticks and Yeah. How's that dream of us going out there together going, Dan? So I'm just saying, Ben, I know how your wife feels. Okay there.

Now I would say to be fair, when she I says, I'll come out if you want me to. Now I know that doesn't seem right because then it puts the load on her. Yeah. It does. That's not fair. Even Nathaniel cringed at that one. I know. I know. I know it's not right. I just okay. So the general principle is is you can it's okay. It's not being dishonest to say this is who I wanna be and I'm gonna act in that way. Mhmm. That's fine. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. I don't know how many times I've given this advice out over the last three weeks, but you cannot trust your feelings. Right? You feel like you don't wanna go out there. You know that you should go out there. And so what you're basically saying is, how much weight should I give my feelings? Zero weight.

You said? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Will you come out here out of a sense of honor and duty? Yeah. Will do it. You're a broken you're a broken man, a man that is is broken by the world due to sin and folly. And you are trying to say, can I embrace folly? That's what you're asking. Is folly embraceable? And the answer is no. You should not. Okay. Okay. So this is fine. Yeah. Alright. Alright. Yeah. Now but now listen, you can answer your wife's questions honestly. Do you wanna come out and help me? And your answer is, yes, I do. I do wanna come out and help you. That's not true though. Yeah. See, Ben? What you said? You just said,

I wanna answer my wife's question honestly. You put I don't understand this black hole of advice you gave me. Set up. No. Because you wouldn't even be asking if you didn't know that your first response of folly was wrong. So that means that you actually do wanna go out and help her. You're just trying to let your folly run the day. Okay. Let me try this one. Did you feed the goldfish? Yes. I did. Because I had every intent I know it's right to have done it, but I didn't do it. The fish is dead.

That's what you're saying to me. So fish died? No. Did you feed? Yes. I did. No. You're saying what I'm saying is you're gonna embrace the man that you want to be, not hide the fact that you're a crappy man. That's what you're saying. Okay. So when it's a matter of opinion, I may posture to my to my best self. When it's a matter of fact, I should state the reality. Yes. Okay. Good. I suppose if we have to drill it down that far. You know, most other people, I could just say, look, man. You need to do better than this. There is no opportunity. Because here's the thing. You're responsible for everything that surrounds you. You chose to get married. You chose to have kids. You chose to move in a house. You chose to have cars. You chose to have everything that's at your place. No. You did. No. I saw this no. This there was this episode of an old TV show that we watch, and the the the the young couple got married. Mhmm. K? And then it was it came to light that the dude was feeling a little bit out of he he he didn't he sold his stuff because he said, I don't want my stuff to encroach upon this nice places that my wife has. And the lesson of the thing was is that this is a marriage that you have together. And so your stuff now belongs here. It's good that both of our things are here. You don't have to think that your stuff has to stay outside or is not good. And so she went back and rebought all the stuff that he sold and put it into their house and stuff. And I looked at my wife and I said, how much of this stuff is mine in our house? And I looked around And I mean, not a not a wig of it, Mike. Except for the wife is yours. No. No. She doesn't Of which you chose. Yeah. But you said it was my house and my stuff too. I yeah. I'm saying that you chose everything that's around you. And what you're trying to do is blinder yourself and act like this is your problem anymore because you just wanna hang around doing nothing. I'd like to sit on the couch and stare at things. That's not an option for you. You made a bunch of choices earlier in your life that negated that as a possibility. No one told me that ahead of time. No. You didn't look into it ahead of time. Marriage counseling did not sort it out and say, look. If you wanna sit and stare, this might be a problem for you. Mm-mm.

Nope. And do you cover that when you talk to counsel people? I I I have never covered that. Would say. This is why it's coming back to bite you. I don't know what your divorce rate is on these marriages, Dan, but I'm just saying you should put it in. No one leveled with the guy and said, look, man. You're not gonna be able to just sit around doing nothing. You gotta be kidding me. Yeah. Yeah. That's on the way out. Happy talking me that either. No. I think I only gave two pieces of advice. He doesn't need a sympathizer, Nathaniel. I know, but he was the one giving me the I believe I prefaced with I'm not a marriage counselor. That's true. He does. And to be honest, I don't really wanna be here. Think Let me just start staring off at stuff. In fact, if I think if I remember correctly, I think my two pieces of marriage advice were live your life like you like you live your days and learn how to argue correctly, and maybe keep your family out of your business. I think I think that was it. It's pretty much the core of what I said. That sounds right.

Okay. Hey. You're listening to live from the path. Now if you're now hold on. Is listen to a podcast, is that productive? Yeah. Yeah. Is it okay to do it in isolation, or do you have to be doing something else? Driving, mowing the lawn? Yeah. I would do it doing something else. Fold laundry. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think you can just sit and kumbaya in. I think if it's ours, you have to sit and really focus, though. You got to yeah. Pull it in. Yeah. There's a lot there's a lot to pull in. Yeah. You you can't do other work. No. What about a YouTube video? Like, you're learning something. And listening to the Are you gonna go do it after you learn it? No. You're you're, like, learning how to do something, and so you're watching the video. Is it a specific task, though, or you're, like, trying to learn, like, astrophysics and you're never gonna it? Yeah. Yeah. That number two? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No. No. You don't have time to a lot of that. I watched a YouTube video the other day of how to use a digital thermometer because believe it or not, I've never used one. I've had one for, like, 2.5. I've just never used it. It was intimidating and all these electric gadgets, you know, and batteries and wires and Have you been a funny man, Dan? No. I really have. And and so I thought I should watch a video. So last night, I cooked a couple a couple steaks, put the little Oh, for food. For food. Food. Okay. Well, yeah. I don't know. I thought it was one of those in ear things. Oh, no. No. No.

Longer than me for a minute. I mean, this getting embarrassing. I I just figured you could read my mind. That guy at the Walgreens could get it done. He's got no training. And you stared at that package forever going, I don't know, man. This seems terrible. Rip off because the video did not tell me that the little metal gadget in the steak would be hot after you cooked it. And we were I'm like, I'll just pull this out. I'm like, oh, I just took that off the grill. That was a bad idea. Wow. You're I blame the video. You're the reason for the warnings on the McDonald's cups, Dan. I know it. People say, I feel so stupid. Don't spill this on yourself. And you're like, who would do that? There's Dan over there, water falling it up. The don't know grill should be fine. There's 700 degrees on that puppy. Yeah. Yeah. That was a proud moment. I've been got some stuff to work on. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, I gotta I need to change my ways.

I don't know how people do it. Emily Dickinson wrote poems in her spare time. I looked out the window. I was thinking about this today. Why would anybody wanna be an author nowadays? Like, I went into the library today. Uh-huh. The Bondurant public library. Uh-huh. And it's not it's not a big library. It's a pretty small library by library standards.

And you see so many books there. Yeah. And you think to yourself, in all my days, I could not read all of these books. Yeah. Nor would I want to. And I feel like that I I I'm maybe I I am and I don't realize it, but I feel like I'm not a minority opinion on that. That, one, I would not read these books, nor do I want to. And there are still people out there who wanna write books. They wanna add to the pile. Yeah. Like, there's 75,000 pieces of ice over there, and a guy shows up with another bag and goes, here, Have some more. Yeah. People are like, we're never gonna use all this ice, man. Don't worry. I'm contributing. Is there anything that hasn't been said already? It's all been said. And been put on print?

Yeah. There's nothing new under the sun. Jason Bourne's already been created. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. You feel like it's writing books is like peeing off the side of the boat. No one's gonna notice, and nobody's gonna care. So who still writes books? Why do why are there still books being written? Well, it's it's gotta be out of sheer pride. Right? People will understand if I put it this way or wait till they see how I deliver this. I don't know. When's the last time you saw, like, a a solid new movie and you're like, you know, you just don't see movies like this. That's completely original. Yeah. Yeah. It's always like, that goes back to Shakespeare. Yeah. Yeah. That's not fair. Because he he was just well recorded.

He probably stole it from another guy back in the day named Red Beard. Red Beard is Even so that, with a movie, I can understand why someone would wanna get into that because people watch movies. Well, I mean, books are the theater of the mind, Nathaniel. Yeah. Sure. But who reads them? Mean, I'm kind of with Nathaniel I on this don't really care about wish people would sure stop writing it's too still well. Yeah. Frankly, it makes me feel bad. Right? It makes me feel like a dummy. Like, when I walk in the library and go, who who would do all this? And then there's a guy loading up seven books, and I'm like, I haven't read one book in seven years. Hey, man. No joke. I I had to drop off a bunch of I had dropped take some books back to the West Des Moines library on my family's behalf, and I was at that book drop off for six minutes. I dropped off 68 books. Oh, wow. Wow. Drop open thing, drops more, reached out. You see this impatient Karen behind me. I wanna know. She's got her her two two two books that she got for a preteen or whatever. I'm sitting there like I stole the whole library. This giant Aldi's bank. Yeah. You're talking to the wrong guy because I was out we were out looking at spring cleanup day at a town here, and it's where people put all their junk out on the curb, and you get to go look through it and see if it's cool.

And Ben sends fires a text out. He goes, hey, man. Somebody threw away two copies of Fox's Book of Martyrs. What a score. Can you believe that? I mean, at least burn it. What are the odds? There is one thing. When I was I had a tenant upstairs, and he he left all of his things, basically. He had I think he probably took two shirts with him. And he He reverse hoboed. And

he didn't pay last month's rent. But that's not a matter. But he he went to the Bible college, and he bought probably, I don't know, 500 worth of books. Yeah. And he left them all there. Nice. Do you still have them in your possession, or did you keep Well, them on picked up the good ones, and then the rest of them I sold to the Bible college students.

See, that's the beauty of the Bible college, is like it's the same books. We're still reading Fox's Book of Martyrs. Like, if you go to the community college, they're getting updates every six months of the, you know, chemistry one zero one Yeah. Or what do you call it? Volume 19 or something. I mean Yeah. They won't won't take last semester's book. That's the beauty of the Christian College. You can keep selling those things for ten years. I mean, even even longer. The Matian's Greek, they that they've been using that since the nineteen hundreds. I remember my professor said, well, this is out of print, so you'll have a hard time getting this. Well, why don't you go ahead and read a new book?

Somebody's out there writing new books. Well, who's reading them? Yeah. Who's reading them? To Nathaniel's dismay. Hey, man. I mean, the guy threw out a hardback copy of the Greek New Testament. Nice.

I'm just saying. Like, I I was here's the deal. Last week last week was an odd week for me. Like, I I I just I was feeling a little bit I don't I wasn't low isn't quite the right word, but like discouraged or something, like, as a as a pastor. Yeah. And and, like, just the the notion of my context too as a house church pat like, you just don't there's not the formality of someone going, great sermon today, pastor. Like, it just don't ever happen.

And so It just happens. It does not come up. But but anyway, like, last week, I got, like, three people, like, took time to say something. And that was very and it was it was very encouraging. And then the same week, the Lord delivered over to me

Greek New Testament and eight Old Testament commentaries and three copies of a box Fox's Book of Martyrs, of which I put one back and kept the other two. It sounds like someone's walked away from the faith. No. I was gonna They threw the books away. I that's what I was afraid of, but there was there was, like, damage to, like, most of the books. Like, they'd gotten wet. And so I think they were just lack discernment as to which ones were still in good shape or not. They had an entire like,

a family bible size Matthew Henry's entire bible commentary all in one volume. Wow. I mean, giant like, you could kill a man with this. Yeah. I almost took it except for it had mold on it because it had gotten and something had got into it. And it's like the one commentary that's free on any software That's right. You can get it anywhere. It's always like, we can't get anybody to read this thing. You can't get Henry to show up. He's always the first first result. He's actually, I think King James. He's funny. Cause like there's a lot of modern commentary is gonna try to tell you kinda how we got here and the roots of the language or whatever. And like there's times where Matthew Henry would just take a verse and he goes, and the Lord meant it.

Yeah. So do that. The Lord meant everything he said everyone was wrong. And that's that's my commentary. So there was an article on the Christian Post. It's called titled Former Desiring God Writer Paul Maxwell Announces He's No Longer Christian. And I just oh, I don't know if I can get a good I wonder if he threw away books.

Is it wrong to ask looks like he's about ready to judo chop a man. Yeah. He wrote a he wrote a book called so he was he was a writer for Desiring God. So that's that's John Piper's website. John Piper wrote a book called called Desiring God, and he's got a website called Desiring God, of which there's just, like, a lot of Christian articles, advice, and apologetics, and questions, and teaching all that kind desiring god is pretty good. Yeah. And so he this guy also wrote the book, The Trauma of Doctrine. He definitely has some books, Dan. Yeah. I'm gonna I'm just wondering if that was his house you went by. Oh, is he a Pentecostal? There was a lot of iffy Revelation type books in there

that I had to tell the kids to put down. The kids were trying to sort through, like, we want this one? I said, no. That's full of heresy. Put that down. They said he goes I he goes he goes, I didn't know. I said, you should know. Trauma okay. Trauma I I was just gonna get the synopsis of this book he wrote. The Trauma of Doctrine, New Calvinism, Religious Abuse, and the Experience of God. The Trauma of Doctrine is a theological investigation to the effects of abuse trauma upon the experience of Christian faith. The psychological mechanics of these effects, the resonance I can't I don't understand all these words. We're gonna skip him. So what he said, he said he came out and said, I'm no longer a Christian. So he was he was deep. He was deep within the It was his job. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. He made money. He made money writing books and writing for desiring God. And he's he has a PhD in theology.

Yep. Yep. He he also teaches. I mean, like, he's a professor. I mean, he's like, he's yeah. He's all the way in. Yeah. Yeah. He's in the crux of all it. Oh, and he's got he wrote two books. The other other one was Mastering Christian Philosophy, The Definitive Guide to Key Concepts, Arguments, and Issues. Wait a minute. Did he title it The Definitive Guide to Key Concepts, Arguments, and Issues? That's kind of boastful. Yeah. That that is promising. I think you have to let other people call it The Definitive Guide, The ebook. I don't think you could title it that. Let me tell you how good this is. So he says on his Instagram feed, he came out and said, what I really miss is connection with people. What I've discovered is that I'm ready to connect again, and I'm kinda ready not to be angry anymore. I love you guys, and I love all the friendships and support I've built here. I think it's important to say that I'm not I'm just not a Christian anymore, and it feels really good. I'm really happy.

I can't wait to discover what kind of connection I can have. What is this connection business? Is this a COVID problem? And what I'm not sure what it has to do with Christianity. I can have what kind of connection I can have with all you beautiful people as I try to figure out what's next. He doesn't even know what he's going to. He just knows he's out. Yeah. I love you guys. I'm in a really good spot. Probably the best spot of my life. It sounds like Donald Trump. I think if you have to say that, you're really not. Yeah. It's a good spot. It's probably the best. Best spot that I'm at, and I've had others look at it, and it's supreme. It's the best I'm so full of joy for the first time. I bet his wife doesn't want to hear that.

I I love my life. Okay. Now This sounds like somebody who's been captured. People, you're doing okay. They're treating me well.

Riding from the mountains of Utah. This this is the the proof of life from the new atheism. Here's the thing, is that, like, this sounds like that that's the reason people leave Christianity is that you you you follow, you get into the faith, and then you find a rub point. And the rub point is generally something that you wanna do

that God says you can't, and so it makes you unhappy. Or your continual insistence to keep doing things that God told you not to do and you feel it in your life and it makes you unhappy. Mhmm. And the and the only way to alleviate yourself of those things is to negate the reality of God. Because if God is not real, then the thing that you are finding burdensome, guilty of,

or that you want to do that you've been restraining yourself is no longer there. And so I I I I would say that like when you say your reaction to I'm not a Christian anymore is I'm I'm really happy. I love you guys. I'm in a good spot. Best spot of my life. Full of joy. First time. I love my life. Okay. That sounds like a guy who just needs free of something, of a burden that he's carrying. Well, okay. So this is a super stupid example, right? But like, I can get his feeling right there. Because the Christian life, especially one that takes on responsibility and ownership of what God has going on, it does weigh something. Right? And so like,

super quick synopsis of my week. Right? Like, I teach youth group on Wednesday, which means I'm studying partway through Monday night, most of Tuesday night. Right? And then I teach on Wednesday. And then I do guitar lessons with a couple kids up in town on Thursday. I get a pause on Friday. And then we got worship on Sunday to do, so I practice most of the day Sunday or Saturday. Right? And so, like and all through the week, I'm listening to a bunch of podcasts and stuff to try to support both the worship and the youth group stuff. Right? And then Monday comes along. And Monday morning, I get my truck to go to work and I take a big breath because I don't really have to listen to a podcast if I don't want to. I'm not under the gun to have a teaching done by Wednesday. Right? Like, I could even

just scroll through and play a tune out of Amazon. That it might not even be on my house church playlist because I'm not trying to learn it for worship. I can just pick a tune, any tune I want, and it's a freeing Monday. Right? And then Tuesday's gonna show back up again. I'm back in it. I'm back in the soup. I got more work to do. We gotta get this stuff. I gotta listen to more podcasts. I gotta read more Bible. Right? And so, like, now, if you give up your Christian faith and let go of all these responsibilities, all the things that actually take work and effort this is true with just about anything. Say you're a world class weightlifter. Right? The first day that you don't go to the gym and don't eat six pounds of chicken, you're gonna be like, woah.

I feel so free. Finally, I got joy in my life because you got no responsibility. Right? You gotta know you're not under authority of anybody. You're literally doing nothing or anything that you want. And so you're acting like every choice that you ever made up to that point is now negated. It was all dumb. Everything you decided to do had no right to it, and now this freedom is what you actually wanted. And so that is exactly where that freedom is. That's where all that joy is coming from. It's just getting rid of It's not a burden, but it's getting rid of weight and responsibility.

If you don't have the responsibility of telling other people about Jesus, I mean, that's gonna feel like freedom for a little while. It really will feel like freedom for a little while. Yes. I think that's true. Yeah.

It relieves well, I mean, anytime you relieve the burden of either the responsibilities that come with Christian life or the responsibilities of following a god of which you know you cannot do perfectly, it's going to feel I I think it's going to feel freeing for a time but like I wonder how real that is. Because like if in the back of your mind

I don't know how how how it doesn't persist with you in the back of your mind. Mhmm. Like, there's always just something back there that goes, I I I mean, I was all in on this thing. Is it is it really none of it's none of it's true? Like, I can I is it okay to just borrow some of the philosophical impacts of Jesus being a good dude and maybe we should follow a golden rule? But the thing that that very undergirds and that makes them true, that gives them validity is completely fake and false. And I have no explanation for that. I just know that I'm free of the shackles that this put on me. That's what this feels like to me.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And so, anyway, he says says Maxwell, has his PhD in theology and has written on the topics of theology, trauma, and fitness, later followed up with a message to those who told him he's going to hell and are not really happy as a result of his rejection of Christianity. Now, we need to stop this. Yes. We need to stop this type of You're embarrassing yourself. Here's here's the thing. We we appear with this kind of thing. I know that potentially in the back of your mind, you're saying yourself, my job is to say true things, perhaps.

In fact no. Actually, not even perhaps. I know that's true. Unless your wife is asking you whether you wanna help in the garden, and then you just tell you lie. Of course, I do. You posture for reality. Okay. So If you're been. But you told me to do it. No. I told you to try to be a better man and then believe what you're saying. But I'm not a Lord has judged me correctly. I'm not a better man. So so but but here's the thing, is that you we come off as people without hope.

You come off as people without hope when you do stuff like this. Like, if if if you were followed up with every bad decision in your life, every every place where you fell short, where you where the world's perspective got a hold of you for a while and someone just was in your face about you about the consequence that you're going to hell and that I'm personally not happy about it.

What I'm telling you, regardless of what you're saying is true, it lacks hope. It says that it says that god cannot do anything with a fallen humanity, and that's foolish. And so I I I guess where I'd encourage us as Christians is that, yes, it is your job to say a true thing, and part of that true thing is that God can do amazing things with the fallen humanity. Even a guy who's gotten to this point where he feels like, you know, walking away from the faith is freedom. He he just misunderstand freedom. How many times can we like, we've talked about that. Like, they're not Christians. They don't expecting people to act like Christians when they're not Christians if they don't have the hope of the Lord. And there's things that the spirit does that just they're not happening in people who don't love and follow Jesus. And so, like, far from saying our job is to call the strikes, really, just the strikes.

We should be a people of hope. My my grand hope for this cat is like he's got a solid piece. Something's rubbing him up here, and he's and he's and he's getting torn away. And like, that's a brother that needs some rescue. And I feel like we're getting it wrong if our gut reaction is online, yeah, you're going to hell. Yeah. That's obviously a reaction of anger. People haven't felt let down or betrayed. Maybe they respected his writings, his teachings. I mean, he's a theologian. If if he

he he knows what he taught. Yes. Sure. Yeah. Sure. It's not like news like, what? You mean if I don't accept Christ, I'm gonna they're not gonna heaven? What? I mean, he he so so that wasn't for his benefit that they're saying that as much as their own benefit, I think. Well, can we can we give that up too? I mean Like, is it is it is it part of our Christian understanding that, like, well, as long as I get to express my angry and anger Yeah. Yeah. It's inappropriate. I mean, we shouldn't be doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a good point though is that it's probably for him. It's more where people have the feelings of anger, they need some they're finding a way to express it and it's quick and easy just to type it up. I I Man, that's just disgusting.

Like, we put it on like a smaller level. It's not. It's the same amount of of gross brokenness. And here's the thing. If I look over your life the last week put it in two categories that said God and not God, here's the things that I did that were in line with God and what it had me to do, here's the things where I didn't care and I did what I want, right? His ledger looks about the same as mine. Probably man, well, maybe. He kinda had a big week. But on on the whole, you got a really big bat coming after some people acting like, hey, man. You're gonna go to hell. You're not really happy. Of course, yes, he is. He probably feels happy right now for all the reasons we just expressed. Right? And so, like, you're not taking him in as a guy, and you're not thinking with a kingdom head or a kingdom heart. You're not looking at the man with God's perspective at all. And so you're under the same delusion that he is. Right? That that your opinion on the deal and the way you're taking the world in and the way you feel right now is enough to be blasted out to the world and tell them everything about you. You're sitting on a big throne that you built and doesn't belong anywhere in the room. And so that's

the thing. I can't believe He responds to some of the stuff that they said. Right? And it's total false humility. Right? There's no way you take this. I mean, I'm a Christian dude. I've read the book Revelation. I'm fine with how this all ends. And a guy going, you're gonna go to hell. I hate you. Right? You don't take that in well. You weren't built to take that in well. Yeah. Yeah. He says, so his reaction to people who told him he's going to hell and are not really happy, he said, I just say, I know that you love me. I know when I receive it as love. I know you care about the eternal state of my soul, and you push through the social awkwardness of telling me this because you don't want me to suffer, and that is a good thing. That's a loving thing to do. And I hear where you're coming from, and I respect your perspective. Yeah. No.

That's a even trying to think of what what time is appropriate for a Christian to say someone's going to hell? I can't think of a single one. I mean, it might be part of the teaching. Hey. Here's something you want to avoid or something. But they were real accusative there. I mean Yeah. Accusatory. Yeah. I I That's the thing. It feels like a celebration of your wickedness. Yeah. Right? Like and that's not us. Like now granted, I've said this to a person. Look, man. You're choosing hell. You're choosing it. Right. Right. I think that's an alright saying to say if you know a guy. Yeah. Yeah. But

once again, social blasting a dude that you don't even know, don't act like you're invested in him. And here's the thing, if you're gonna be that passionate about him, you have a lot of praying to do, which I'm almost a 100% certain you're not gonna do. Yeah. You're not gonna pray for that man. You're not gonna be down on your knees three times a day going, dear Lord, just be with him. He's confused, man. He's he's he's missing you. He's re attributing the wrong things to the wrong places, and he's blind. Give him ears to hear and bring him back, father. Yeah. If that's you and then you wanna ding him on social media, I think that's lovely. But it's not. It's not you at all. You're just throwing out you're you're mini throwing at people. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's I think I I guess can you think of just running your mind like someone who you had written off and you said, look, I this guy's either walked from the faith or they're not interested and and and it will never happen. And then at some point, this person turns. There's a repentance in them and they come to follow Jesus and it surprises the crap out of you. Yes. Okay. And so as a as a as a people, we should retain hope. And I think it doesn't do anything for the cause of good news or hope to go find that guy when he's on the path that we think that we've written him off and go, I just want you to know that from my personal perspective, you're going to hell. Yeah. Like,

okay. Come back to our community. Yeah. And like, I I mean, again, I I'm pro saying true things but like that that actually lacks context. You're going to hell lacks context. Well, we don't have we don't have the authority to say that. It's not you know, it's not it's not our business. That's right. We don't run the book. Yeah.

Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. So let's knock it off. Like, I think it's just not creating value. So anyway, he handles So I I guess the thing is is that, like, where well, let me finish the article. Maxwell is the latest high profile Christian figure to publicly renounce his faith in recent years. Last year, John Steingart, the Canadian Christian rock band Hock Nelson's lead vocalist, announced on social media, I no longer believe in God, explaining it didn't happen overnight. In 2019, Joshua Harris, author of the controversial Christian bestseller, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, sent shock waves to the evangelical

Christian community after he published an Instagram post announcing, I am not a Christian. Many people tell me there is a different way to practice faith and I want to remain open to this, but I'm not there now. You know what's the consistent theme seems to be? I don't know where I'm going. I just know I don't believe in this. Yeah. And also, they posted on social media Yeah. To the accolades of of thousands. All Instagram. A short time later, former Hillsong singer and songwriter Marty Sampson that doesn't seem like a guy. Marty doesn't seem like a a Hillsong man. Anyway, he says, time for some real talk, dot dot dot. I'm generally losing my faith and it doesn't bother me. In an interview with the Christian Post, H. B. Charles junior, author and pastor of Shiloh Metropolitan Baptist Church in Jacksonville, said stories of defections from the Christian faith should serve as a wake up call to the Western church. He said, the corporate worship of the church is a key way to not only disciple the young generation to strengthen all the saints to be steadfast in their faith. My perseverance in the faith is not so much about me holding fast to Christ but him holding fast to me. We need to be teaching and singing sound doctrine. I believe that there's no need for something exotic or special in order to build faith and sustain faith for the long haul. No, that's true. In fact, Jesus says about the same thing,

and Paul lived out the same thing. We're not asking for difficult well, no, we are. He is asking for difficult things. They're just not complicated. Right? It's a life of sacrifice is what it is. Right? Whether it be well, it covers all all the grounds. Right? We're asking for a simple life of sacrifice and that will help people know who Christ is. And frankly, we're not willing to give it. Yeah.

So the Gospel Coalition founder and theologian Don Carson issued a word of caution to those tempted to judge those who have apostatized and called for discernment, offering their mind that just as it's possible to stereotype those who have fallen away as losers, so it's possible to stereotype those who are saying that they're losers. They don't have labels on their foreheads, so it might be that they need listening to and praying over, praying with, and so on. They might come back. I could tell you some remarkable stories of people who wandered away in what we would call backsliding who nevertheless returned to the Lord a couple of decades later. So you want to allow that as a possibility and not, in any case, be supercilious or condescending. It's all good guys and bad guys without discernment and recognition that the Bible picture's falling away and inconsistency in many, many different categories. David. Yeah. Repentance is possible as well as a renewed commitment to the covenant. It doesn't have to turn out in a bad way. So so is is the question

well, this isn't new, I guess. No. We should be like, our ability to know about it is probably. Like, they didn't some guy could do that in Pittsburgh, and it's not gonna make the Des Moines newspaper seventy years ago. So my ability to see it so, like, even if you line up three guys over two years, I'm not sure that's particularly surprising at all. No. They're just, like, from the outside world perspective. And that's the thing. We're a little bit worried about our own shade here. You know? Like, from the outside world perspective, it looks like our organization's falling apart. Ravi Zacharias is off the deep end. This Marty Sampson from the Hillsong, which is one of the biggest churches in the nation, he saw he blows off camp. And then this weird dude who writes books or whatever who, you know, people got some theological basis on decides, well, even though I know everything there is to know about this Jesus, I'm walking out of here. Yeah. And so our organization goes, man, what is going on? You're making us look bad like we're idiots and that God can't be trusted. And, like, that's what it spins up at me. It's like, look. Why are you doing this? Can't you just fade off into the background? Why do you gotta blast it out on the on social media like a big jerk? You know? Like, it's so like you're a a twenty year member of the Shriners, and instead of just slowly walking out the back door because it's not your cup of tea anymore, you're like, the Shriners suck. I hate everything about them. Here's all the reasons. Right? There's no reason for that. I need you to know I am no longer a Shriner. Yeah. Nobody cares, dude. You know, fade off into the wind. But that's I think that's where it gets them rubbed off is because you're invalidating the thing that these people believe. And frankly, you're calling into question the thing that we are spending our everyday fighting to let other people know. And you, with one Instagram post, basically take out like if we were doing a

seesaw, right, like, the four dudes in this room are about maybe fifty, sixty people trying to be like, hey, man. Here's the Jesus. And then this guy gets to take out 12,000 right now with his, hey, man. This isn't cool. I'm out. I don't believe this anymore. Yeah. Maybe that's the thing one of the thing that that is difficult to deal with is this this seems to be done in such a flippant way. Hey, I'm hey, I'm no longer I'm no longer a Christian. I'm real happy. Yeah, by the way. I lost my faith and I don't care. I mean, like, this isn't good shepherding.

Book writers, like people here's the okay. To your point that I married a married a wife and now I take responsibility for all the other stuff that comes with it. Mhmm. Right? You wrote a book. You joined the worship team of one of the most popular worship bands and one of the largest churches in the world

and were in some some notion of prominence there. You wrote a book about people not supposed to date. Like, as an author, you postured self, you gave yourself the responsibility and the assumption that you were gonna be able to have power to speak into somebody's life. And like, these these flippant responses are that's like, it's lazy. And it's not like like, it begs a million questions.

And I guess I don't I don't get what makes someone say, well, here's the whole book I wrote trying to reaffirm your faith, help you understand trauma in light of your faith and and x y z. Oh, and by the way, I left Christianity. No details. Mhmm. Yeah. Like, what what kind of leadership is that? Hey. Hey. We do communion every week. Great. Welcome in. Oh, yeah. By the way, we we we gave it up. We're just not gonna do it anymore. Okay. Moving on. Like,

come on. No. That's true. You're a womanizer, except for your womanist people. Right? You took what you wanted from them, their accolades, their praise, their their adoration. And then once you had enough, you said, okay. I'm out. Yeah. Never mind. This is why God deals in covenants and not with you, not in relationship and feelings. I can kinda see the honesty in it, though. Like, 2009

through, like, 2013, there were all these Christian metal bands. Right? And

through the course of time, there was obviously some people who walked away from the faith. But they didn't, like, come out and say it because they relied on the income from, like, Christian bookstores at the time. Mhmm. Like, to to for their album to be in that in that bookstore. And so instead of coming out and saying, hey, you know, this isn't something that I believe anymore, they just would not swear on their albums and not say anything about it. Yeah. And so, like

Okay. That seems super disingenuous. So what you're saying is is is, like, we might be pinning motivation poorly when maybe the motivation is altruistic. Maybe they're he's trying to do the right thing. I maybe. It didn't it wasn't really written in that way. I guess here's the thing, is what what what compels you

I think you should not lie. I think that's fair. I don't know that that, like, getting the the minute by minute the minute by minute assessment of where you're at is not necessary either. Right? Can I can can someone walk through

let's say you're just just someone who who who doubt causes problems with? Hey. You're strong in January. February 2, things aren't feeling quite right. Do you need to keep people up to date? Hey. I'm having a little doubts today. Disregard everything I said January No. Doubting. We'd run out of people to give sermons.

Do you know what I'm saying? That's right. So like, I I that's it's the same problem as saying to someone, hey. You're going to hell. You're trying to call a ball and strike. And and it has no notion of of allowing humans to kind of breathe a bit and recognize that like people's minds get tempted and people's undergirding, like their their faith gets tried and like hard times begat hard thoughts. And so I think if you're going to say something like, hey, I've published two books under

the guise of being a Christian. I wrote for a website and put together a lot of content on how relying on the Bible to help you through times that are difficult, this is how you go about it. And then if if the right thing is is that you are no longer a Christian,

is it really that pressing that you need to say it right now with nothing else, with no legit context, with completely abdicating on the notion that you've created yourself with some level of authority? Like, explain yourself, damn it. Like, if you're if you feel posh that's that's like, it's it's bad. It's very bad leadership. So if if certainly from a from a Christian perspective, but even from like a human perspective, hi, I propose to direct you in this way and, oh, you know what? I've just changed completely and I have nothing else to say to you.

Yeah. Like, that's terrible. I've heard people give more explanation for I've given up ice cream and now I'm doing yogurt. True. I mean, yeah. Right. Like, you can't if you here's the thing. Is it like if you cared about people at all, two things would be happening. One, I wouldn't I wouldn't accept the live and let live posture as it relates to Christianity. If it's false,

if it's not a true thing, then men like millions of people are being deceived And they're giving up a lot of, well, things that make you happy and feel you full of joy and cause you to build your left best life, that you don't just get to do what you want because they believe this thing. And so, like, if you actually cared about people and had any integrity at all, I would actually expect you to put up a little bit of fight here and say, I misled you. I want you to join me in this little mind mindscape. Okay. Okay. So the apostle Paul just got done taking a whooping. Right? And he miraculously, he doesn't die again. So he picks himself up Yep. And he's dragging himself out of town. And he's on his way to the next town, and you spot him on the road. And you go, Paul.

Paul, I I I have a question for you. Look. Look. Okay. Okay. How do I phrase this? I I used to really follow Jesus, and now I don't so much. But, like, I make my income

off, like, these CDs that are in the Jesus stores, and I'm not really sure whether I should tell everybody that I don't or whether I could keep it in the shelf. You know what I'm saying? And then Paul, sitting there with blood on his face and goes, what?

What are you even talking about? Some of this conversation is so, like, Western Yeah. Weeds of who cares? I mean, we're talking about stupid things. You know, Paul's out there getting whooped on, beaten, and dying. You know? And we're like, well,

I mean, should we pull his books from the shelves? Who cares what the man does or doesn't do? Do you love Jesus? Yes. I do. Well, then I don't care. I mean, I care for the guy. I'm sorry he's leaving. The correct response is to pray for the man and go, lord, just show back up to him. Show them what's whatever he's he's blinded by. Take it away from him. Let him see you. Right? Any other response to that is simply showboating. Right? Like, you've joined the showboat that's come by, that he's he's the captain of the boat, and you're jumping on the side. It's sad, really. Right? Like, if if we look at the things that actually matter, there's a large amount of Christianity that it couldn't be any more going about this the wrong way. Right? You don't actually care for the man. You're lying to yourself. That that guy that that's making money off the I mean, if I found out a guy used to love Jesus, played it in a hard rocking band, and I bought his music, and now he doesn't love Jesus anymore, I don't feel like personally betrayed. I'm sorry the guy let I'm sorry the guy misunderstood

his faith. I paid his $10 for the CD. I still like it. I think it was good when I bought it. I think it's good now. I don't require that guy to be on fire all the time for me to pay $10 for his tunes. Right? I just feel like I'm not gonna struggle over that. We're gonna let it go. But, like, if you found out it's just like if I found out my neighbor was this way or Ben had fallen away from Jesus. I mean, like, if he ain't gonna listen to me, I got nothing but praying to do, and a lot of it. And so, like, it just it just seems so doesn't it seem so petty? You know? Like, was fired up about this article a little bit because I'm like, man, we we're dropping guys like flies. What's going on in our I thought that's what I thought. I was describing myself. I'm like, this this organization, I mean, we just we look bad. We look like like God's not real. People are chucking out of here left and right. And then, like, what a petty distraction. Well,

don't hear about pastor in India who has a life expectancy of like six months suddenly saying, hey, yeah, never mind. Right. They're just like, I'm gonna preach till they catch me. That's right. I mean He stabbed three times. He's still going through March. Yeah. You know Jesus, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Exactly. Where'd you buy that knife? I'd like to talk to him too. You know what I'm saying? Like, you don't seem like these guys going down. Were just a little soft here in America. Yeah. We got nothing to talk about then. I don't know if I really Oh, no. You don't think this is happening because these guys are just sitting down staring at a space station? I think that's the problem. Yeah. Yep. I just don't wanna do anything. I sit on the couch and I just stare. Yeah. See To avoid. It begets a freedom of which actually, I I I do wonder if this notion of authorship or even worship leading at times creates a separation from the realities of your faith.

Like, if if if if the notion of what you do in service to the kingdom primarily feels like a performance, and I would submit to you that authorship is that too. You're still posturing for someone. And, like, the pastors run the risk too on on Sunday morning, but then the rest of their life, hopefully, is filled out with other things. They're meeting with people. They're eating breakfast. They're, like, doing tangible things that express faith. But, like, if your core expression is some level of posturing to an audience and no one's ever gonna throw a rock at your head, Paul style,

Maybe maybe it feels it feels just feels separate from a reality. And so it's easy to it's it it allows you a space to walk away from it. Yeah. Right. Like, if if your whole getup was Christianity and that was your KISS makeup around, you know, a bit from the seventies and the eighties, you're looking to be Gene Simmons, El Natural. Yeah. And your album's gonna tank because of it, because no one's interested in listening to you if you're not KISS anymore. You know? But I yeah. If you're wound up in the drama

of it and the show of it and there was not a Jesus in there, which has gotta be so hard because even through your phoniness, people met Jesus. Yeah. Right? The Holy Spirit moved and did crazy things and you saw it. And and now you act like you didn't see it? There's no way you didn't see it. That that's the part where I get frustrated is that, like, it just lacks it lacks even if it's not a Christianity question, this lacks integrity as people. It lacks integrity to take people down a path and then then just, like, not provide them an explanation when you decided to bail on it. It lacks integrity to see or be part of some of the things you've seen

and then act like you haven't seen that. Like, I I I was on a I was on a call today with someone at work and, like, we got into we got into a a just a meeting with in a particular audience. And, like, this person decided what they were gonna talk about was, well, I'm worried about blah blah blah. Like, two two, three things that they were worried about. Completely acting like they had no idea that we'd off we'd answered these questions already. There's no reason to continue to worry about them. Like, the context was we'd already dealt with some of this stuff, and they knew that. But in this particular audience, they didn't say anything about that. They just said they wanted to be seen as the person who, like, figured this thing, like like, was was the worried person. Hey. I'm the one calling the warnings.

The context wasn't we we we still don't have a problem. And so, like, the the reason I say that is because it it lacks integrity when you know you don't have a problem and you still act like there's a problem because it draws attention to you. Just like this person, like, has like, these people have been part of things. They've seen things in in Christianity. They've seen God move. And because they they got a bad taco or a bad relationship or a crappy pastor

or a night of sin that they can't shake the guilt of, that they're gonna say, look, I don't believe this anymore. And they're gonna completely negate or neglect the fact that there's a greater context to their lives. That lacks integrity. You're listening to Life From The Path. Hey. Maybe you love this. Maybe you think this is the best thing ever that what we said here. Maybe you're the go to hell person on the website, and we'd want you to stop that directly. Either way, get ahold of us at the Life From The Path complaint line sponsored by Bob Eisenhower with the Eisenhower team. For all your real estate needs, Bob Eisenhower with the Eisenhower team. Easy to work with, hard to beat. Is it hard to beat? Tough to beat. Hard to beat. Complaint line is (515) 517-0085.

That's (515) 517-0085. That is phone calls or text message. We can accept either one. We'd love to hear from you. Speaking of the complaint line Yep. Did we ever get word back on that on that impression that we couldn't figure out? Yeah. It was the guy from Saturday Night Live. The ladies man. The ladies man from Saturday Night Live. I don't know. You've not seen it? I don't know. Have you seen that one, Dan? That's over. They shake their heads back and forth?

I don't know. Very vague description. So how how how like, what era of Saturday Night Live? Maybe 10:10 years ago. It's Tim it was Tim Meadows was the is is the guy. He's the ladies' man. I don't I think I missed that whole era. So Yeah. Me too. I think I had younger children that Maybe 15? Think I've ever seen a full episode. You've not watched a full Saturday Night Live? Uh-uh. What'd you do? You just turn off and stare at stuff? Yeah. Alright, brother. Watch watch some stuff on YouTube that I'm never gonna do.

I mean, that feels at least at least posturing to good in the world. You're every man I wanna be, Nathaniel. Yeah. Alright. Mike, what do we got? You ready for some advice? Yep. Dear life from the path. I have grown really close to quotes Pete, my trainer at the gym I joined two years ago. Oh, dear. We are both married. I know it's wrong to feel this way. I love my husband, but I'm not sure I am, quotes, in love with him anymore. What's that mean? I think what I feel for Pete may be more than just a physical attraction and connection. Our lives are so parallel.

We're both loyal to our spouses, so nothing has happened. Our lives are so That's good. It's a good start. Yeah. I'm not sure if he feels the same about me, but I sense our chemistry when we are together. Our friendship hugs are lasting longer, and our flirting has increased to a different level. We text every week in the morning, and now, since he quit his job at the gym, we have started to miss each other. I can't stop thinking about him. He's on my mind constantly. I I know I shouldn't open up open up my Pandora's box because it could destroy lives. My best friend has picked up that I talk about Pete more than my husband. My husband overheard one of my virtual sessions with him and afterward was cold and different toward me. So I know he was picking up on our connection too. Should I talk to Pete about how I'm feeling or leave it alone?

I think they I think she already knows. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Immediately. I mean, like, wait, wait, but she's not doing workouts with him anymore. Right? Oh, virtual workouts. Not at the gym no more. Which is that's just video of Pete sweating to the oldies. Yeah. Yeah. Because I mean, like, he doesn't work at the gym. Yeah. So at first, I was gonna say, you need to find a new gym. So it's gonna fade. Stay away from him. Don't communicate. It'll

fade. Yeah. Yeah. What do need trainer for? You're not an Olympic athlete. Maybe she is. It's the same reason you don't need a $25 water bottle

and why everybody has one. So Nathaniel's first point is you don't even need a guy. You start off with the wrong premise, and then you've delivered gut temptation in reaction. Go back to the YouTube. What no. I'm saying you don't need a guy, so, like, this wouldn't have happened if you would realize that in the first place. If you would be if you would be realizing full value from the free resources available to you. Yeah. Exactly. Not YouTube. Okay. Yeah. What is your goal with these training sessions? Yeah. Yeah. Where are headed with this? Okay. Not the Olympics. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like there's you you're wearing all kinds of blinders here. Like, we me and him are so similar. We're both lower to our spouses. No, you are not. No, not. No. You're actually here's the thing, is people don't count

emotional capital as if it means anything to a marriage. Like, they only count sexual capital. And, like, you're a fool. I don't know if you've read the Song of Solomon, but almost all of it is emotional capital. That's what leads to sexual capital. And so, like, you're spending

emotional capital on another man, and then your husband is cold and indifferent towards you because you're spending no capital on your husband. Yeah. You could see his position on the man. Sure. I mean, you're spending it on another dude, and you're like, I think about him all the time. Well, how much time does that leave that for you to think about your husband, the guy that you pledged yourself to be with for the rest of your days? Probably very little. And so, like, you're putting zero effort into your marriage, which means it's it's it's floundering, and this other relationship is starting to blossom because you're putting a bunch of time and effort into it, and you go, I'm not sure I love my husband anymore. Well, you are upholding no end of your bargain, and you've convinced yourself that this guy is solid. He's flirting with a married woman that that at the place where he works.

He's a textbook sleazebag. Right? That is not a high quality man. Yeah. Yeah. Like like, I it was it was odd when she described that, like, we're we're so much what'd you say? Our lives are doing so much of lack or something. Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, what? Like, you run into each other at the gym every you have an appointment. That's like saying my life is entwined with the guy who runs the register at the Casey's. Right. We often find ourselves in the same place. Yeah. We're the same, dude. You put the raspberry flip in the counter, I get it back out. We're one and the same. We exchanged some banter. He talked about trees, I talked about trees. Same.

I wanna pay for food, he takes my money. Yeah. Our lives are parallel. That was the thing. Our friendship hugs are lasting longer. Listen. Stop hugging people of the opposite sex. Like, unless they're like thirty years older than you or something completely platonic. It's know would say still don't. Yeah. Here's the thing. It sounds real I mean, Mike Pence took a lot of crap for this. And Mike Pence has got the personality of a piece of two by four. And so he's hard to take in. Right? Because for some reason, his facial movements don't ever they don't do anything. He looks like a painting with lips.

But anyway, he took a lot of crap for this, and I defended him at every turn because I'm like, look, I don't do this. Like, have like a total of three women in my phone that aren't my wife. And most of them are complete friends of the family. Right? Like, no possible problem here, but your trainer. And my trainer.

So the Olympics? Because I got a big water bottle and an $85 pair of sneakers because I work out once every six months. Who's Greasy Pete? He's my drug dealer. We don't talk about him. But, like, it's just not a good idea. It's just not a good idea. It's not a good idea. You're like, well, I don't see it as a big deal. Listen. If you hold your marriage up in a position where you're not willing to let any arrows pass the wall, that's your goal. Right? There's no reason to see if maybe an arrow hits the dog or not, or maybe it gets one of the kids as they run by. If you build the wall high,

no arrows get in, and your tower stands. That's the way that it works. And so, like, it just depends on how much risk you want to take in your marriage. To me, it's just flat out not worth it. Yep. You can be friends with a woman, right, for for sure. You can listen I try not like, deeply emotional conversations, I would bring a woman with me. Right? You don't just do a man and a woman in a conversation like that. Right? But on the whole,

protect your marriage. Right? You left your your mom and your dad to cleave to your spouse, and that's it. And other spouses can stay out because that's what you want. Right? And so I think it's I I I think it's a mistake to open up your relationship that far. I know you have to interact with people of the opposite sex. I'm not a nineteen twenties Federalist prude. I'm just telling you that, like, you're not There's nothing about the world spinning that requires a hug from the opposite side. That's correct. That's correct. Especially when you're not wearing many clothes and you're sweaty. Correct. There's just no reason for that, right? There's no social contract that says you have to do it. They're not gonna feel slighted. It's not like Greg hugs everybody all the time. You're going in to grope him. That's what you're doing and he's doing the same thing. So just don't lie to yourself on what the thing is. Yeah and just to be clear, this is the classic path of foolishness is where you start to evaluate the character of your relationship.

What your marriage is evaluated off of every every minute and every second that you ever had with someone for the last twenty years. The the ups and downs, people at their worst, people looking their worst, people speaking their worst, people treating you poorly just for familiarity, dirty underpants, bad behaviors. Okay? And then you're evaluating

the relationship you have with greasy Pete over here when you're riling up endorphins Right. And you got an hour start and stop with a little bit of a Huggies at the end. Right. And and a place to lament whatever crap you think is going on at your own house. Exactly. And then you say, boy, this second relationship looking really nice. This first one looks like a real dumpster fire. And that is an unfair comparison, sir. That's right. And that

is the classic folly of everyone who has started this path and they end out it unless you divorce one woman or you divorce one husband, you're gonna divorce three. You're willing to step out on man number one, you're willing to step out on man number two because like it's it wasn't that you were justified in what you were doing.

You used an improper measure of the world to get something that you wanted that was short lived, and then you recognized the folly of it, then you had to get out of it, you kept chasing short things. Like, you've just got to to recognize what you're doing. It's a classic path of foolishness. Yeah. Let's see what Secular says. Secular says, It's time to ask yourself what exactly you want from Pete. Is it a fling? Do you want to wreck your marriage and possibly ruin his? Crushing on a perfect physical specimen is common. And no one said he was a perfect physical specimen.

Wow. Did you assume that in your mind? Did anybody picture him? I guess I figured figured he was a lot like me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He was pretty much the Dan Hudson. Mean, figured he was probably cut a little, but I didn't think he was like a a Schwarzenegger or nothing. That's what I had in my mind. He was a speedo. He was a speedo Schwarzenegger. Yikes. At the gym that I go to, all the trainers are they're kinda husky. What do you mean? Like, they're kinda husky. Speak with a smoker's voice? No. Like, they're they're they're they they got some weight to them. Yeah. Oh, tricep dips.

Yeah. 10 of them on the bench. And they're just telling people what to do. And I'm gonna do this 10 of them. Do some sit ups. I'd like to see more of this. Pick up more weights, sissy man. Hey. Calm down, Carol.

I'll get the weights. No. Give me a hug. Hold on. Yeah. Hold on. Yeah. If I if I rep these weights, we won't hug. How about that? Okay. Crushing on a perfect physical specimen is common. And when something is missing in your life, it's easy to fixate on someone you have contact with regularly. If you feel the urge to work out, work things out with your husband because if your letter is an accurate description of what's going on, that marriage of yours could use some toning up. Yeah. Wow. Those are some turns of phrase there at the Yeah. Somebody got the old smart alecky pen out and decided they were gonna be quippy. Thank you, secular.

Yeah. Here's what you're not thinking about. You're gonna get in this relationship with old Phil or Greg, whatever his name is Greasy Pete. Greasy Pete. And all the things that you hate about your husband, Greasy Pete does too. He throws the clothes, I mean, just outside the hamper. I mean, it's probably touching the outside of the hamper. He could've just as easily put it in the hamper. He didn't do And his clothes are sweaty. And they're sweaty, they stink. He's taking five women a day. That's right. You know the next day, he's going out doing video chats with, like, 16 other Yeah. Women that are half your age. And, like, you Bid's right. This is classic census. Yeah. Yeah. This is this is not gonna work out for you. Yeah. Chapter two. There's a skinny in the banana hammock. Like, this this man is a problem, and there's no doubt about it. Need to unpack that statement you just made here a little bit. A what? Gotta make my stomach hurt. Yeah. He's a perfect physical specimen. Who still poops in his underpants. That was the point. Yeah.

He's got dirty dirty grundies. Yeah. There is no perfect man out there. The grundy's gonna follow you no matter what. You're gonna you're gonna do laundry and go, how does this happen? This man is 35? What possibly happened? And he'll go, I thought it was gonna be something small, and it was not.

And then that's real life. If you could love that man after that, you, sir, are on your way to a marriage. Okay. Last one. Ready? Yep. Dear live from the path. I work for a small company in Colorado. It pays well. I will be quitting my job as soon as I am out of debt, which will be soon. My job is way too stressful, I'll and be able to afford a pay cut. Problem is, my boss is a relative by marriage and a good friend. Most of the stress of my job comes from the way he communicates with me and everyone else in emails. He's often rude, condescending, and accusatory. It has become more than my fragile nerves can handle.

When I quit, how can I exit without calling him out when I'm asked my reason for leaving? Do you have any advice as to vague yet satisfactory reasons for leaving? I don't wanna bring up the actual problem because he already knows how he is, and his actions won't change. Also, I value the peaceful relationship we have and don't want to cause any drama in the family. I'm looking to live a more simple life. Here's the deal, though. You're gonna go to get a job at the Burger King, and guess what? That manager's gonna be the same way. It's called life.

Yep. What was it? Wait. Did he say what he was gonna go do? Not like quasi retire or anything? No. No. Find a different job It's a different the managers aren't stressful? Yeah. Good luck. I'd like to find one of those. I mean, that's a good point. The BK manager's always stressed out. Yeah, man. I don't care what job it is. Yeah. It doesn't get easier to lower down the shape. Always broken. Yeah. I worked at the Target for a while, and they were always on people to go one step faster.

You took too many steps. You would have not turned that corner. You could have gone straighter, and that would have saved you four steps. Overnight? That's 16 steps. Like You know how hard it's gotta be to work like a a regular job, and then you get a part time I've done this before. When you get a part time job, it's not your main gig, like this manager just tees toned up, he's telling you all this stuff and you're like, I don't even have to work here. Do you realize I make double what you make? Right? Mean, let's everybody calm down, Mitch. Okay? I'm doing this for fun. That's right. I'll get the papers out. Extra cash. I'll put the M and M's where they're supposed to go. You need to tone it down a bit because you're making me kind of upset. By

the way, I'll fire you. I work here. Yeah. Basically, the question is, how can I tell a lie? How can I wait? If someone says, I mean, it is not a requirement of the exit interview to vomit every single thing you You ever know what I'm saying? So for all the reasons you mentioned, they say, why are you leaving? I'm just looking to take a job that's not this one. I just wanna do something different. No big deal. Yeah. I think it's like it's a common misconception about truth. I I don't know that it always means absolutely everything. Because like, actually to your point earlier,

just because you're thinking something doesn't mean it's actually validated. So there's no reason to have like, maybe you're overreacting to this guy. But like, if if your notion is, look, I'm out of debt, I'm trying to move with something that's slightly less stressful, fine. That's cool. Just say that. Yeah. Hey, uh-oh. What do you mean? We caused you stress around here? Yeah. How do you how do you mean? Your emails put me off. It's a high high pressure environment. I think it's because you wanna get things done. That's wigging me out. Yeah. I here's the thing. Here here's the the actual misconception is you think that people care about your exit interviews, that you're gonna make a stand and make it better for everybody after you leave. Here's what happens. You go in there, you blurt out all this stuff you see as truth. And maybe it is, right? And as soon as you walk out the door, they go,

Yeah, they just weren't a good fit here. And that's it. I'm gonna send out an email. Yeah. They they just weren't they weren't they weren't a good fit. They were never good for that job in the first place. Yeah. They will listen to none of your valid criticisms. They won't take anything you said as being important or true because then they'd have to intrinsically look at themselves and go, man, gotta make some changes. We're losing good people. And instead they go, nope, that wasn't good people. Don't ever work with family. Yeah. Big big big mess. Yeah. That's Do them a favor. That's a that's good point. That's that's true everywhere. Actually, if you ever have the concept of being a martyr for your job, just recognize that that's that's way more true than what you realize.

Is that most of the time one, if you think you're the one saving the place, you're mistaken. You one, one, it can't be saved, and two, you're probably part of the problem, to be honest, if you think you're the only guy who got your head screwed on. Right? Mhmm. Secondly, even if you it was true, your chances of kinda turning this machine upside down are really super low. Like, I've been part part of my other job is, like, my job is to go in and help change things. And, like, some people are just they're just entrenched in stuff. And, like,

you can make the best case ever. You can point out to them all the reasons why they're the thing that they're doing isn't working, and it doesn't matter. It it it doesn't matter. And at their core, people don't wanna change because once they start changing, it starts to it starts to cause them to to realize that what they were doing before wasn't good. Change change is implicitly some sort of indictment on what you're currently doing, and most people don't wanna embrace that particular indictment or admit that it's true. And so so don't don't don't run yourself ragged for it. It's of no value. Secular says, when the question is asked during your exit interview, express gratitude for having had the opportunity to work there. Your reason for leaving will be to explore other opportunities.

Yeah. I wouldn't do that. I think that's a dumb phrase, and I wouldn't say it. People always say that. Nobody leaves a nobody like, again, that's that guy leaving Christianity. Explore other opportunities. That means you didn't land anything. You it was so bad that you weren't willing to wait to find something else. You just had to be gone. Yeah. Yeah. That's rough. Yeah. Kinda like our Christian friends. They just want out. I said that already. Did you? I said that not that's literally what he said. Not fifteen seconds ago. What? Paying attention. I was trying to figure out did I did I hear something wrong? No. Weird.

I mean, we noticed the same bit of irony, Ben. That's good. That's gold. Way to go us. I feel unseen. Do you wanna high five? No. I don't wanna I don't wanna reengage with you. You know what it's actually like. It's like our Christian friends. Hey. Nathaniel's on to something here, Ben. Hey. Alright. You've been listening to Live From The Path. Thanks for hanging out with us this week. We very much do appreciate it. If you wanna get ahold of us, you can do so on the complaint line. (515) 517-0085.

(515) 517-0085. That's call or text on the Bob Eisenhower complaint line. So we'd love to hear from you. I we we may or may not respond if just depends on what it is. In the meantime, I don't think I'm not sure what's going on next week, but if if all is right and with world, we'll be back in here. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to Live From The Path. Live From The Path.