Live from the Pathway Studios in Johnston proper. You are live from the Yeah. It's like that, or it's all over the wall, buddy. And you're listening to live from the past.

Coming for the Pathway Studios here in Johnston proper. You guys don't wanna know what we're talking about. We're all in this together. We're just talking about being friends. This is not in your best interest. Buddies. Know what's happening. Lessons from COVID. Okay. Alright. Here we go. Here's what we got going on live for the past this evening. First of all, thank you for thank you for allowing us the rest. I your grad, your graciousness just cannot be overstated. We we haven't recorded a show in two weeks and you guys were just so patient and kind. No one harassed the complaint line. No one banged down the door and said, where's the show boys. Had people throwing rocks at my windows. Oh, okay. So Dan may they directed it Dan really. Fair enough. Okay. I think that's fair. Okay. Well, anyway, thanks for giving us us peace, some, some, sometimes as, as a local celebrities, it's just hard. It's hard to get away. And, you guys you guys were gracious. Thank you for doing that. Nobody asked for autographs. I'm astonished at how far you were able to get into that without laughter. I meant every word. I don't I don't know what you're implying. Nobody's stopping for selfies. Did not mean every word. Yeah. I remember you were trying to manipulate me earlier and I just can't stand for it.

Okay. Here's what I gotta go on the show this evening. So there are some, I got a few articles that I want to talk through. And here's what's here's what's happened. And I don't know. Maybe this is not a good thing, but I was listening back to one of the old older shows and we had, we had got an article from belief net about about ladies, what it was the seven ways of which your, your, what your ladies being unfaithful.

Oh, yeah. And they were like ridiculous. They were like, oh, she daydreams or like she's she's looked at another man in person. One was like, she's being unfaithful to you with herself. And it wasn't even the thing you you would think of. Right. And so, anyway She wears men's deodorant. That's right. So Irish Spring. I thought I'm gonna go check and see what's on the old belief net. And boy, howdy. I found an article by the same woman the lady who wrote the original article.

She's still kicking them out. Yeah, she is. She's a, thought they'd replace her with the AI by now. It's like, can you write a shallow and a mildly misogynistic article, but from a woman's point of view, kick out an article. So anyway, we're gonna talk through, I got a couple that I wanted to hit up. Buba has an update. He is, he's wandered into the doors of a, of a new church, this week to, to, for a baptism.

And, he's got some thoughts. I do. He's got some thoughts. I do. And then we'll do some advice on, on dear life from the path. Dan, did we confirm, did you confirm Asbury is still rolling or not rolling? I don't believe it is. I haven't confirmed, but, I I'd heard, like, last week on Wednesday, they were gonna have their last service or something official. Like, they were gonna officially, like, close down the thing. So how long did it actually go? Like, do we know the, like, the the length of the deal? It's a couple weeks almost. Two and half. One and a half weeks. I I feel like it was long. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Hold on. When did the Sorry. For those that don't have a lot of of research into this topic, I'd I'd I'd yet to read an article on it or know about it. I just hear updates periodically. I'd see different things around February 8. That's when it started when it started or when it ended. Yes. When it started. So like what? Twenty days?

It's like happening in other colleges now though. It's it has spread. Yeah. So I can't, you can't say like the whole idea is gone, but I don't think it's happening. I mean, I'd hope not. Well, right. I mean, it'd be pretty rough. That's supposed be like what we call normal. Yeah. I mean, mean, yeah. No. I gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, we'll fuck. Maybe I I we were gonna pick it up, but I think maybe we'll just pick it up next week. We'll just take a

we'll let the dust settle if it has settled. If it's not, I mean Yeah. It'll kick back up again. Let the winds blow. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Okay. So here we go. Here was the article. Six things to do when your wife fails you. Oh. Oh, gosh. Wait. Okay. So this was written by a woman? Same woman. Les Leslie White. Does she just hate? Never mind. I can't figure out. Your wife pets a cat. I cannot figure it out. Okay. Six things to do. Six things to do when your wife fails you. She says, marriage is a lot like a house. It requires a firm and lasting foundation. While so many marriages are grounded in love as they should be, love isn't enough. For relationship to be healthy and thrive, the two have to be willing to put the work into it. Gentlemen, this includes the time when your wife fails you. What a focus. Wow. To move past this hurdle, you'll have to form a deeper understanding of each other. This will increase the bond in your marriage and help it to flourish again.

Remember, even the strongest marriages will have moments of failure. That's okay. It's what we do to move out of these stages that dictates the strength and the health of the relationship. Here are six things to do when your wife fails you. And I will propose the same questions I had the last time, which is why does this not apply to men? That's we're gonna listen to these, and we're gonna go, could this also apply to a dude? Why isn't this spouses? Right. Why focusing on the ladies? We don't we don't admit it, though. We we have not failed. You Oh, think that's problem? Understands that. Or or maybe this is the, this is the SEO target because the guy Right. Is is Googling, hey. My wife failed me. What do I do? Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Might I imply that if you're asking Google this type of question, she's probably not failed you. You might be the doofus in the relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe you're not talking to Your criteria for failure is probably pretty low. Okay. So number one, here we go. Thing to do when your wife fails you, let go of the need to be right. When your wife fails you, you're going to want her to know your pain. You're also going to feel the need to be right and in control.

That's oddly put. You need to let this need for control go. If you're having a conversation with your wife and it becomes a little contentious, take a step back. Contrary to what you may be feeling at the time, you don't need to be right. Marriage thrives on strong communication. Now just to clarify, isn't the proposition here that your wife has failed something? So doesn't that imply that you are right? Yeah. And this is just a general tenet of, like, communication in general. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let go of the need to say I'm right. You're wrong. It's a weird. It's a Michael. It's nothing to do with a failure. Just do that always. Right? When your spouse fails you or does something you can't stand, try handling the situation without resentment or complaint. Wait. Is that number two, or is that still a continuation of number one? Same one. Yeah. Let them know you have the ability to listen to them right where you are. These are what this is these are not English words. These are This might be an AI article. This feels like like a Korean woman wrote this, and then they used a translating program.

This will help your partner see that communication doesn't have to go so left. It may even help them to be more open to listening to the things you have to say. Okay. Yes. Let go of the need to be right. Of course. Of course. We can't. We can't just move past that, Ben. Was that your fake Korean that you just did? Yes. I feel I feel real good about it. You have broken Mike down on many occasions when he throws a random bit of an accent plus a fake language out there and attributes to a race. Yet you just just

wait. Alright. Sorry. Go ahead. If we're upset about it, call the Bob Eisenhower complaint line. That's right. (515) 517-0085. That's right. Call or text. You just let us know. If in fact, I need you to spell hong choy, what I said. I don't I don't think they're real words, and I wouldn't know how to reproduce them if they did. Put some of that on some noodles I ate recently. It's a sauce. It's like spicy or something on the YouTube.

Okay. So, anyway, I agreed. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, don't this feels like, hey. Don't rub it in. Right. If you gotta get past it, then you actually have to do effort to get past it, not double down, focus in on it, get out the highlighter. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That seems alright. I mean, I mean, if you have to be told this, then you're, you're really an idiot. Yeah. Five. Is that? Or does she think we're all idiots? So she's like, let me talk. Let me mansplain maybe that's what's happening. We're being woman's plane too.

Yeah. Like, I I feel like if you're if you're in a marriage and understand, like, what you're doing, like, you come at this with grace and with forgiveness and recognize that, like, this is what we do. Yeah. We both screwed up. You know, babe, you're wrong. Yeah. Right. Like, the only Jesus is the one who's right in our marriage, and we're both gonna point to that direction. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. You just don't don't grind it in, man. If you wanna move past something, like, if you're if someone you you're married to is wrong, I mean, it's best to to try to come to an acknowledgment of that. That way, it doesn't feel like like you're fighting. Okay. I'm a tell you the story. My wife and I went on a walk one time, and it was us and the kids and at least two of the kids. We walked out on a quarter, half mile, something like that, and there's tornado warning in our area. And so we start to walk back because this is where the tornado's gonna come. And somehow or another, I don't know, that part wasn't relevant to the story. It's just what I remember for context.

She was asking me about the peanut butter that I bought. And I bought I bought a choosy bins choose natural GIF. K. So that's what I did. And we argued for forty five minutes because she said, why would you overspend on the name brand peanut butter? Walmart makes a natural peanut butter that's a dollar less. Why would you?

And I said, babe, I just like it. She goes, it doesn't taste any better. I said, I just disagree on this. I think it tastes better. I like Jiffy peanut This is what I'm saying. Choose the dance, choose Jiff. Okay. And so I said, said, look, baby, we're not in the straights. Let's just, let's, let's just not fight over the peanut butter. Let's just say, look, if you buy it, then then you saved a buck. If we, if you, if I buy it, then like, well, I could probably do better in life, but let's accept it. You know? Can we agree to that? No, we cannot. We did not come to terms. Now I say that as old as I say, it's hard to move on if you can't agree that we actually have a problem here. And so there is a point where, it's worth trying to identify at least where you're splitting or an agreement that, you know what? Yes. I fell short or your order that your person married to goes, yes. Okay. I agree. I made a mistake. Because you can build from that. It's hard to build off of nebulousness.

Okay? It's a shifting sand type of thing. So hoping you created a chart with showing how much per slice of bread you really spent extra. This is right. Right? See how right I am. I break that back down and say, no. Don't do that. That's not right. Nope. Nope. Nope. Says don't do it, Dan. Don't do it. Just in case the two over here over there in that corner are like, yeah, man. You shoulda you shoulda made a pie chart of this stuff and figured that out. Kathy woulda maybe do another. Just saying. Kathy loves the. So, okay. So at the and actually, I, we did not resolve this as far as I remember. I think I just, I just should not buy the now here's the thing. What do I care? I don't care. I don't really care. I do know what I'm getting you for Christmas next year. Thanks, Dan. Yeah. Hey. I'm gonna get you 50¢ off coupons so you guys can meet halfway. This is good. If you guys wanna help old Ben out, you can just I'll give you the address to the old life in the past studios, and you just send your crate a GFA. Natural Gif. Natural Gif, please. Next time we're off two weeks, we'll show up to a package of natural Gifs. That's right. Okay. The next one she says, this is one of six. Number two, take the time to bond again.

There may be some distance between you and your partner right now. It may feel like the worst time to reconnect, but the timing couldn't be better. Hey. I do feel this way. I think this depends on the dude. But, like, when when when there's been a tussle, like, I don't need to blow off steam because I'm angry. Mhmm. I just don't it feels fake to to to to do to, I don't know, like, hug it out or, like, something that feels would be close. Like, I just I I just need to feel like I need a little bit of space so that I feel genuine about what I'm doing. Yeah. And so I think this does depend on the person. Some people Right. My wife is like, unfortunately is like the opposite. Like, she'll be like, look, let's let's let's resolve. And she'll go right in for the old hugster. And I'm like, I don't. Yes. I love you. No. I'm not gonna pat you on the back. You get the three quarter hug. And so it's, it's, it's unfortunate because, what my wife resolves that way, I need just a little bit of space and then then can do it. Or more likely, I'd just like to move on. And so I, her advice here is like that it's the most opportune time to reconnect. That's that maybe that's true for your wife. Right. Recognizing that may not feel that way for you. And and I think it's okay to eat it on this one

and do but you have to do your best to fake it. Like, I'm I'm really, really trying, but I just can't get the full 100% squeeze in it. That's a hard that's a hard fake. I white women know. They know. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Side hug. Like, what you what do you mean? What what do you mean? It's the exact opposite in my relationship, actually. Like, I'm the one I wanna fix things immediately. Immediately. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I'm super mister fix it because, like, my brain goes to any any second that I have not reconciled is, like, one more second that she's gonna leave and run away. Uh-huh. And she's just like, no. I I I'd love you. That was not affected by what happened. But I don't like you right now. Yes. And so I'd like for us to not do that. And I'm just like, babe, please just let me can I make you something? Can I cook for you or something? She's like, no. I I really don't like you right now is where I'm at, and I don't wanna be near you. Yeah. And so I need you to just let me be. And I'm just like, but Can I be near you while you're not near me? Can I, like can we figure that out where, like, we sit on the same couch, but, like, we don't hug? Uh-huh. Like, is that enough? Yep. Can I rub your feet? Right.

Like, how can I love you in, like, in ways that's serving you, but then you also not hate me in this moment and me make it worse and something like that? And I I think where I struggle with that is that, like, I have a sense for they're doing something out of guilt. Yeah. And I don't I don't like the feeling of that. Or it feels like I'm making them beg me to get back in my good graces when it's not them. Like, it really is me. Dang. And I need I just I need a little space to sort the thing out, but, like, begging and pleading makes it It make almost makes it feels worse on trying to reconcile something that like, I'm, I we're actually reconciled, but I can't do the thing right then. This makes me think of like what they talk about with disciplining children. Either you do whatever the discipline is, some corporate discipline, and you give them some space, but you always go back in and like, Hey, I love you. I mean, this is, you know, have that, you know, warm, tender moment. But I mean, I just I don't know. Alright. I got this out. Nathaniel,

are you the sensitive Sally in your relationship? No. No. Was that you You're actually calling me the sensitive Sally? Go ahead, Nathaniel. I mean, if the size nineteen or whatever fits, what do you what do you wear? Which so so, like Legitimately, me and my wife do not argue or Oh, yeah. You said that before. We just don't. It's one,

I'm I'm very I think the right word is apathetic. Like, the peanut butter argument would never come up because she says, by the this is a different period. I say, I don't care. Okay. Okay. Have no no I don't care. I'll buy whatever peanut butter. And, also, I say some really messed up stuff that might hurt another woman's feelings, and she takes it in super well. Like,

you know, what you just said is super messed up. And I say, yeah. I don't like it about me either. Then, you know, we just kinda move on. There's a lot of grace in that. I love that. Yeah. It's there's grace and apathy, and it causes Write that book. Grace and apathy by Nathaniel Carson. It causes There's a book there to not be, like, marital bickering. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I don't know if that's I don't know if it's good or not. That's right. I think that's really awesome or, like, or dangerous in some way or another. I'm not sure what true. Apathy doesn't usually lead to positive. Have you had natural GIF? Of course, that's where you bring it back. Like something's not right.

But, also, I'm the type of fellow who likes it. You know, you give a little mayo and a little miracle whip, and I could I couldn't tell the difference. What is wrong with you? What? This okay. See if the that's your natural GIF. Is this behavior right over here? This mayo miracle whip problem. No. That is not the same thing. Yes. As you actually a dollar on the same product. No. It's You just said two different things. No. It's basically Miracle whip is not mayonnaise. That's why it's specifically called dressing. They're both white. Yeah. And creamy. So is ranch. Yeah. Yeah. I'll put that on a sandwich too. Okay.

Okay. We're bros on this. That's what I walked away with. Yeah. Cool beans, Jim. Oh, I hate it. Hey. Let me ask you this question, Nathaniel. Yeah. Is there anything of which you feel like you are discerning when it comes to eats and drinks Where you're like, you say, hey. I can tell the difference. You gave me that diet soda. Yeah. Pepsi Coke? What? No. Yeah. I'll even take an RC. Pepsi tastes like Robocop's blood. What are you talking about? Yeah. Here's okay. Here's one thing. Okay. You hit me. My wife likes to use this this real crunchy laundry soap Yeah. Yes. That doesn't have the dyes or the smells or anything in it. Yep. And over the last seven years, I've said, alright. I don't I don't really care that much. But she recently has spent quite a length of time away from me Yeah. To take care of our son. Yeah. And, as soon as she is gone, I went out and bought the you would the Tide. This is the exact same thing I did with my wife. Tide, and I got those, you know, the the extra smelly beads? Yeah. Beads. Oh, yeah. The beads. I've been beading it up. This is the exact same thing my wife and I just did two months ago. Super scent. And then she comes back and she says, why do we have all these beads? I said, I like them. I'm putting my foot down, woman. I like the beads. That's what I did. I said, I like them, and I'll do my own laundry, but I'm putting them in there. I wanna smell good. This is this is literally the exact same thing that that Gian and I just did, like, a month and a half ago where I was like, I'll start doing my own laundry because I'm tired of smelling of nothing. And I like, I'd like my clothes to smell nice.

And it turned into it like I was worried about the thing because I was like, oh, crap. I'm putting my foot down in a situation, which I really shouldn't. Uh-huh. But then we compromised to where, like she's like, you don't even have to do your own laundry. I'll just separate it so I'm not putting those chemicals on my clothes. I'm like, deal. I love this. Hey, man. That means your wife is like, I don't care what happens to you. She's if the chem if she thinks the chemicals That is a big jump. No. No. Here's the thing. If you leave the chemicals in the thing are harmful to you Alright. Here's the deal. It's it's like going I I'll I'll live long and prosper. You on the other hand, I believe. In there too. We're gonna we're gonna put something to perspective, and we've had this conversation already. Okay? Goofy. If I am worried about anything in my life that's gonna make me kick the bucket Yeah. It is not the tide. It's it's not the smelly good game beads. Okay? The chemicals that are gonna kill me are coming from the food that I've eaten over the last twenty five years when I've generally eaten like a campground raccoon. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay? Like, that is that is what I've done. Dumpster diving, not just for furniture, but sometimes for a. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna you're gonna grow a tail, and you're not gonna know how to If it if the Lord has not taken me from what I've done to myself since I was 13 Yeah. When I just now recently had a new non repressed memory of what I remembered, having the conversation with my dad to when I can start having two double sandwiches Uh-huh. From the bebops. Uh-huh. And he lovingly said yes to that Yes. Which now that I'm 31, I don't know if I'd call it lovingly anymore. Nope. But, like, it randomly popped into my head the other day when my wife and I went to bebops, and she got a double. And I thought, there was a there's a marked time in my life of when I was maybe 11 when I was like, dad, I think it's time. Yeah. I think it's time I switched to the two doubles instead of the one as a preteen. Yeah. I'm gonna start eating at least a pound and a half of food for for lunch. What are your thoughts on that? And he went, heck yeah, buddy. Let's do this. Okay. Here's Doubles together. This is a sync this is a sync piece for you. Two double Sammies from your dad is the same as poison laundry detergent from your wife. Well, I smell much better now.

At least I smelled much worse when I did the double Your tail is not gonna smell good. There we go. Alright. Cool. Okay. Alright. You've been listening live from the path. Hey. What's number three? Hey. If you've grown or extended a vestigial tail tail. Upon your use of laundry detergent Yes. Please let us know about that. That sounds fantastic. Okay. I will tell you just so there's some some sympathy, from my area. When I travel on business, I do not take any of the crunchy granola,

maintenance items with me. I leave those at home. I get what I would consider to be legit items and take them with me. Normal toothpaste, something that doesn't come in a powder. You know? You get powdered toothpaste? Oh, yeah. What? Oh, yeah. You just What is it? Just Borax with some spearmint dropped on it? No. I tried to make my own. I I made my own some of my own toothpaste. We make our own laundry detergent totally, but like, I tried to make my own toothpaste and it just wasn't, it didn't turn out right. And so we order it. We order somebody's teeth powder, tooth powder, teeth powder. I don't remember. All right. Here we go. Oh, I hate that so much. Number three. I love it. Actually, I tell you what I switched to, and this is I would would vote for this twice, which is just Bone marrow. Just straight up baking soda.

You've never taken straight up baking soda to your teeth, now it it is not refreshing at all because a lot of your toothpaste got some kind of sweetener in it. Right. K? But, like, straight up baking soda, it'll feel like they these just came out of the package. Like, it feels good. I have never wanted my teeth to feel like they just came out of the package. Good. They I mean, it's a set of Joe Biden's waiting to happen. They are they are nice. I'm just saying give it give it a shot. Once a week, get some baking soda on them on them yellows. I like, I've cured and smoked my own bacon before, and, like, I've I've I've done that kind of stuff, like food things to, like, make my own products. Yeah. But I've never done house cleaning supplies Yeah. Or my own personal, like, hygiene items. I feel like I really trust Colgate. I'll tell you this. I've been my wife and and I've been married for, be eight maybe eighteen years this year. Eighteen years this year. I'm trying to think of it. We argue over peanut butter. I'm gonna tell you this. I I we have never

that I can, to my memory, bought glass cleaner or an all any all purpose cleaner ever, Ever. I don't think I wanna come to your house anymore. Yeah. Your tail won't fit in the door. Number four, practice gratitude. Three, four. Holy we're gonna have to give up on this list.

Here we go. Take the take the time to bond again. There we go. It's vital that you and your wife both feel loved and valued. This is why gratitude is so important in marriage. Trying to tell try to telling your wife, thank you, at least once a day. Just like walk by, Moolo. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. It's just weird. Show your wife that you don't take your relationship for granted. There are several things you can try. Right. Maybe you can start by keeping a journal of the loving deeds your partner does. Also try now this is not a bad idea, actually. This is Terrible idea. Is not a bad idea to have something weeks since you've done something nice for me, babe. No. Listen here. Listen here. Failed me. Being able what like, one of the one of the the hardest things in a marriage relationship is, like, you notice when your other the other person has failed. You don't tend to articulate when another person has done a good job because you expect them to do a good job. Yeah. So by just logging in your mind, hey. They they made lunch. They don't have to make me lunch. This person does not work for me. She made me lunch today. Yeah. And saying, babe, I appreciate you making me lunch today. I really do. Thank you. That's like the person who prays a lot and gets a lot of answered prayers. We don't think about it. But if you journal, you can look at all the examples. Exactly. Right. It's the same type of thing. Yep.

Exactly. That's actually one of the things, when my wife are at our best and remembering to specifically checking in once a week, that's one of the things we will ask each other is that like, how have I, how have I felt you, how, how have I helped you feel loved this week? Or in what ways have I served you? Because it causes us to actually think back on it and say, I didn't notice. Because one of the things where, like, either one feels the most hurt is, like, you tried, and they didn't even you didn't even get credit for it. And like, you should do it anyway, but sure was better when you get credit for it. Yeah. So, okay. That's true.

Let's see. Turn back the clock after someone has failed in the relationship. It's hard to not, not to think about the good old days. It's hard not to want to go back to the honeymoon phase of the marriage. The reality is the spark will dim at times. It's unrealistic to think that the relationship will always be on a high. This is why it's so important to turn back the clock so you can reignite the passion in your relationship. This is a false this is a false thing. She just said, hey. We wanna go back, but you can't. We should turn back the clock. Right. That's what I was just about to act. Okay. Yeah. No. That's weird. This is weird. While you can do something grand, you can also do really small acts. Yes. These small acts will create new emotional connections and simply show how much you care. Some of these actions will bring you back to the honeymoon phase of the relationship and remind you, she spent a long time saying nothing. Right. Yeah. This wouldn't I mean, I I agree with the small things. Yeah. Like, you'd small gestures and making them feel heard and, like, you listen to things that may have sent seemed inconsequential in the moment, but, like, you committed them to memory and did something, whether it's, a thing that they mentioned they didn't wanna do one time, and so you just started doing that thing Yeah. Or a thing that they talked about, like, oh, I saw an article on that, and that looks super cool. You show up within a month and a half later. Then, oh my gosh. You were listening in that moment? Like, that's crazy to me. Yeah. Those small things are huge

when it comes to to, like, keeping things alive and and feeling connected and loving. Yeah. What's what's the big deal, though, of referencing the honeymoon? Like, you feel like you're on your honeymoon again. It's like I mean, I honeymoon was fun. Yeah. But it was, like, awkward and weird too. Yeah. I mean I think it's not just the week of the honeymoon. I think it's that honeymoon phase where it's like year even. First two years. We weren't at our best. Well Yeah. Agreed. I don't my wife and I weren't at our best for honeymoon. Yeah. You're so like, did I really did we really do this? Yeah. I was dumb. So many yeah. Yeah. Thoughts. Yeah. I didn't understand how to love her well at all. Like, had spent such a little amount of time

getting to know well, I mean, we spent a lot of time getting to know each other, but, like, together together by that time that, like, I realized very quickly. I was like, I she didn't know I burped a lot. Yeah. All that stuff. Like yeah. Yeah. She was just like, I didn't know what I was getting into, and I'm like, well, I'm sorry. I didn't do it more on dates. You use powder for toothpaste? Right. Right. I got the crest. Hey, babe. Why is there baking soda next to the next to the toilet? Yeah. All that stuff. I mean, it's just a matter Right. Yeah. You're just getting to know each other in in a higher level. Well and I think the the big thing here is is in moments where you have been hurt or your your partner has failed you, your your wife, your husband has failed you, I can understand why

going back to a place where, like, everything was just better and then being stuck in the fondness of that and thinking it will never be that good again can be rough. But, like, it's fine to look back and go, we have a history, which means that, like, this is just a part of the ride. Mhmm. Like Yeah. Yeah. You've hurt me. I've hurt you as well. We have a history, and we have a future, and we have a now. That's exactly what I could look at this. We won. Right. Yeah. Exactly. It's like, yep. This is we're we're peanut butter issue. In the best of ways. Like, this is the it means that this has longevity. Yeah. And I don't have to fear a loss or being abandoned here. Like, we're just gonna get through it. Mhmm. Like, I never I never ever thought, like, we would not be together. But still in the early years, I remember, like, as we approach the seventh year, it's like, oh, that's a big year. Like, so many people get divorced, blah blah blah. Yeah. Not that I was thinking, oh, I might leave you now, but it was just like, what's that gonna be? What's it gonna look like? Right. It was like, oh, it was just like six, five and four, but, you

know, there's all gonna continue doing what I've been doing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. All right. Oddly, the next one, which feels like it's part of at least two that she shared, which is remember the little things. So remember the context was, things to do when your wife fails you. Specifically has failed. Pay attention to the things your wife has going on. Does she have a big meeting coming up? Is there a project she's dreading having to complete? Is she concerned about an upcoming parent teacher conferences? But try to get her perspective is maybe a better way to say that. Yeah. Remember the little things. Yeah. Yeah. Under, understand that she's human. We understand the context of of whatever might be contributing to whatever failure happened. Yeah. Oh, that's legit. Yeah. There's something that led to this. Yeah. It wasn't just, like, zero to 100 failure or whatever you wanna perceive it as. Like, you're she's a human being, and things have happened. So okay. A couple weeks ago, I think I told you guys I I bought some new silverware. Right? I'm all excited about this. Yes. Yes. Right? It's actually used silver silverware, but I'm just excited because now we have plenty. Right? Yeah. Yes. I should never run out of silverware. And it provides. I like the long forks, not the short forks. And I let, you know, I have a particular thing. Then when I get a big Christmas comment, to my wife and I was like, man, I I've, at my old age, I'm getting kind of particular about like, I like this type of food, this brand of peanut butter. I said, I like the long forks. And like, she said something like, I can't remember how she, but she was like, it really irritated her that I liked the particular fork. And I looked at her and I'm like, well, I don't care what fork you use. You know, like, I don't understand why you're so upset. You don't have to be particular. Use all the little forks you want. Like, this is perfect. I don't care.

But Most silverware drawers come with two slots per fork. It's fine. Exactly. But then I did immediately think, okay. She's got some stress going on in her life right now. There's, you know, this, that and that. And it's not that she really cared and was mad at me about forks that she, she had to release that somehow. And I happened to be standing there talking about forks that she thought that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You should have a particular fork. And I'm like, I like the long ones. You know? So it didn't escalate because, you know? Right. You know? It just washed over you, man. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I love you. Oh gosh. That's what it's for you. And here's what I'm gonna tell you is that, like, that's the opposite of the honeymoon problem. Honeymoon, you go, hey. I like the long forks. She's like, I'll always make sure I have long forks for you. Yeah. You have long forks forever, babe. Like, why are you gonna be so picky and ridiculous? I will hand wash those. Yeah. That's right. I don't remember. I can't remember the context of it, but, like, maybe two weeks ago, we were we were hanging out at the house or something, and

Gianna hates she hates doing the kitty litter. Mhmm. Like, it just drives her nuts. But, like, she told me when we were gonna get cats that she would do the kitty litter until she got pregnant. And, like, obviously, that's a problem for for Yeah. Women who get pregnant. They should not do kitty litter or something like that. Whatever. I don't know the stuff. And so, like, she does it most of the time. Hey. That's just the thing pregnant ladies tell you, by the way. Yeah. They say a lot of stuff. Not legitimate. Oh, well, I'm aren't there, like, senses super heightened because of hormones too? They're trying to get out of doing the kitty litter. Well, I mean, I'm gonna love her and do it regardless. Yeah. As you should. I'm just saying it's realistic. And so I don't remember the situation, but, we were we were talking about the kitty leader, and then I said, no, babe. I'll do it. I was trying to be loving and say, I'll take care of it because I know how much she dreads it and, like, hates it. I said, no. I'll take care of it. And she goes, no. You suck at doing it. It's kidding. Like, it hit me for a moment. I'm like, it's poop. I suck at doing it. Like, he said, it's just visible poop that's gotta go. Right? Like, afterwards,

is there the stuff there? No? Fantastic. I did wonderfully. It was zero. It was gone now. Mhmm. And I was like, this came about because you were going to do something that you didn't wanna do, and I offered to just do it for you. And your snippet response was, you suck at doing it. Mhmm. And I thought to myself, I'm like, this isn't the the the problem is not that I'm not good at it. Yeah. It is a problem. Obviously, there's a level of of, like, quality that You must be real bad. Yeah. I must be missing half of or maybe there's a litter box. I just don't know if there. Fling it. You just get it up and shoot it. Try and bake it into a trash can or something. I promise it's not gross down there. Like, it's whatever. But, like, I thought to myself, I was like, okay. So And I walked I was like, fine. You know, I I'm not gonna pursue the the line of questioning here because she's obviously in, like, a in flaming moment. Right? I walked away, and, like, I went and did the dishes or something real quick. And, like, twenty minutes later, I walked up to her. I'm like, hey. So first off, I appreciate you telling me that I'm not very good at something because, obviously, if I offered to do it, I don't wanna do it, you know, 50%. I wanna make it to where it's actually something that's taken care of for you. Is everything else okay? Like, is there something else that was, like, bugging you in that moment that you needed to talk about? And she goes, yes. I didn't wanna talk to you about it, though. So and I like, we talked about it for a second, and she got whatever she was feeling off her off her her heart. And I was like, okay. Cool. We've talked you just tell me what's happening. Yeah. You we don't need to build up and then at, like, a week later go, well, you suck at doing kitty litter. Yeah. But to clarify, do you actually still suck at it? I did it today, and she seemed okay. Like, I I think I think she understands that, like, I may not do it great.

I don't know how else to do it better. I don't know if it's like, spray the stuff. I add more kitty litter if I feel like it needs to be more in there. I try to hit all things. Yeah. But, apparently, I just I I don't know if I just don't do a good job of it sifting. Whatever. But, like, it was just a funny situation. I'm like, you know, just tell me. Like, if there's something going on, like, you we don't have to snip. Like, there's no reason. And I I'm not trying to represent her like she's a snippy person. This is just two stories out of maybe six years of being together, three years of two and a half years of marriage. We don't fight at all either because I usually go into things thinking, well, I'm wrong. And so Yeah. I don't have any level of where, like, I come at things and I go, okay. I'm right in this. Yes. And so we're really need to get a hash this out, and she's gonna come to my viewpoint. I go, most likely wrong in this. Yeah. And I'm just gonna listen until I know we're both good. Yeah. And it's worked out well. But Jif is better. It's just flat out better. I don't understand. Trader Joe's peanut butter is where it's at. Uh-uh. I'm a guess. 100%. It's no sugar, and it's, like, two thirty five for thing. Yeah. You know? Here's what I wanna know. Yep. If you're making your own dangle soap Yep. Peanuts exist. Why don't you make your own peanut butter? And you've got a nice blender. I've seen it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've been to your house. It's not it's not a cost advantage to make your own peanut butter.

Well, it's just a hot darn second. Unless I'm willing to shell them and I'm not. I was about to say, yeah, if you're buying them, like, raw, they should be a lot cheaper. If you're buy yeah. If you're willing to shell your peanuts, but like roast them. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I got less money, less than money. Time. And so, yeah, not worth my time to shell peanuts. Don't you have, like, 12 kids for that?

They don't Make shell peanuts. They do they they do a whiz bang on the kitty litter, but they don't shell peanuts worth a darn. Okay. Fair enough. Yep. Alright. I thought I was gonna have a bunch of kids and have them be able to take care of things that I don't have time or money for. That's a date that's a that's a joke. They don't do that. How do they think my family structure? They they cost money. Alright. Last one. Don't be afraid to display your love. This is gonna be great. Nothing's wrong with a little love and affection, especially after a rough patch in the marriage. Do little things to remind your wife how much you care about them. It's also okay to show a little PDA. Smile. Hold each other's hands unnecessary, semicolon.

Even put your even put your arms around each other. Oh, wow. Really pushing the bar with that one. These subtle actions can help her feel how close you are connected. It also shows that when the chips are down, you still deliver deeply. Now there is something about figuring out a way to, you call it fight, argue, improve each other. I don't care in such a way that, like, you it you're not drawing lines. This is why you don't flee from the house without saying something like like, you're I'm here for this discussion. I'm not trying to bail from anything that's in it. You fight fair, but you fight presently, and you fight intentionally, and you fight with the goal of of getting better,

not with a goal of I'm winning. And, like, how you how you physically portray yourself will communicate that. Right. Yeah. There's no version of this where, like, it ends. Like, you go it hurts, and it's okay to acknowledge that this hurt. And guess what? I've hurt you as well. And we're both human beings, and we're gonna come through this. We're gonna talk to each other. We can be mad in the moment. We can be mad in in a few days. Whatever. We're gonna work through this. I love you still. My love meter has not gone down. It cannot be affected here because that's that's, you know, held in in a in another place so that it can't be broken. I love you, and you hurt me. Let's move past it. Right. Right. Okay. Grants and forgiveness, fellas. Yeah. So these all the the the sum up was strong marriages take a lot of work, but putting the necessary time in pays off tremendously. If you want your relationship to flourish, especially after a rough patch, put these actions in motion. Some of them may be difficult to apply, but others will be easy. Remember, even the small things matter and help take your relationship to new heights. Applying them to your marriage can transform your relationship. Failure doesn't have to be an option. And this may be a nothing burger,

but the premise of love sometimes isn't enough. Well, yes, it is. You're just looking at love wrong. Like, love isn't just Valentine's cards, and it's not just baking cookies. Like, love is putting that work in. That is the real love. Stop saying that you you're not gonna get through a marriage if it if it's only based on love. Yeah. Right. Right. They're they're like, what people are trying to say is, like, you're feeling yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. A marriage isn't gonna be based off the fact that, like, oh, I really like this person, and they're cute. You're absolutely right. It's worked for me, though. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I married a bombshell of woman, and it's worked out really well. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Every once in while, people are like, what? She's married to you? And I'm like, this is exactly why I married the woman I did because people recognize that I look like a bridge troll, and she looks like Tyre Tyra Banks. Yeah. She's like a model.

Is that was that No. Because I have to move. I was recently told that I don't know project bug Yeah. Project Runway people. Yeah. That's a shell game. You know all about it. You you won the you have a board game. The trivia. Oh, I have yes. I do have project runway monopoly, but I got that at a I got that at a Goodwill outlet store. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair. Okay. You've been listening to live from the past. Thanks for hanging out with us so far tonight. I I yeah. I don't know if you have any thoughts about that on our list. No. Five one five five one seven zero zero eight five. That's (515) 517-0085.

Call or text. We'd love to hear you on the live from the path. Do think they pay her for the those articles? Oh, yeah. She's got a bunch of them too. So it's it's They have money to pay her? Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Oh yeah. Don't, they don't put it into their web property. They used it all on the content. So this, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Hold on. Let's see. Seven.

I don't care about that. Okay. Heard her feelings now. Hope she's not listening. Okay. So here's you want, you want some really bad news. And I just found this out within the last thirty seconds. It's like, I clicked on her name and it took me to a bunch of other articles by her and it had her picture and bio up at the top. She is indeed of Asian descent. And so what I've what I've said is real rough. We've just been canceled. We have been doing this for ten plus years now. It is never a good idea

to make up a fake bit of language based off of what you think someone might look like. What? I didn't look at her. That's why I said think someone might look like. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I should've done a Russian is what you're saying. No. Never. Yeah. No. Never. And in Secular versus Solomon, we should never guess racially. Like, that's never a good idea. No. That's whole whole premise of the game. Or Dan should never drop Epcot Center. Like, I still remember that moment. That was fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. Nathaniel, think you're in the clear. I don't know if you've ever dropped a random accent or bit of fake Korean that might have been a sauce you put on on noodles once. Actually, you're not in the clear because of that one. Whatever. Alright. Cool. Okay.

Alright. We're gonna do what? So what I I don't think I'm read this whole article, but, like, there was an article called seven lies we believe about God. I'm so round robin Same same one? No. Different same website, different guy. Question is you you each have one guess and we will see if it's on the list. Oh, okay. Seven lies we believe about God, Dan. That he will give you. He will never give you more than you can handle. Okay. Alright. Never give you more than you can handle. Buba. That he gives you everything you ask for. Okay. That he's a genie.

Nathaniel. Do we take the top two? Yeah. My mind is a wash after those two. Do you have you felt like your mind has been in a fog ever since you started using that cancerous tide? It's the beads.

Actually, you know, everybody says my the diet soda that I drink is gonna make me have a have a a goiter and a tail and what have you. Uh-huh. And, sometimes I think to myself, you know, the the diet soda, maybe it's affecting my mind. Maybe I'm a fog. Oh. Mhmm. Mhmm. I should go to Diet soda leads me out of the fog. Anyways, I think maybe, that

that the lord, will leave you. Nathaniel started Nathaniel started a sentence and went, Lord, if you can help me get to the end of the sentence, I'd really appreciate it. One more word. And then ironically, it was that the Lord will leave you.

We'll abandon you when you're trying to answer questions. The Lord will kick you when you're down. Alright. In your face. Seven lies people believe about the lord, that his name is actually Daryl. Okay. Here we go. Here were the seven lies. One, that god is of my denomination. Well, I mean,

People believe that. Okay. Number two, God is a prude. Okay. Hold on. This is the greatest list ever. Check this one out. Believe.net is champions. God is not a prude. He's a realist.

Let's unpack what this means. Many Christians view sex as something dirty. And by extension, they viewed their own human biological wants and urges as sinful and disgusting. But the truth is full colon. God build us to be able to have sex. He never saw sex coming. Oh, man. It's not gross or taboo. It's hardly the work of a prude. Okay. Number three, God hates us. What?

What bible are you reading? God does not hate you. Let's see here. God loves you and all your flaw. It is a weight that bends the backs of so many Christians. I don't know. Like, is this so, like, your friend Ted believes these things? Right. Or is this a common Yeah. It's a common problem. Roy showed up at church three years ago for Easter, and he's never been back since because he really believes all these seven things. No. No. I mean, it is there are people who, like, legitimately struggle, like, seeing Like they'll believe all kinds of other things about God, but when it comes to how it applies to themselves, the ability for God to forgive the ability for God to be a father figure to the ability for God to actually love them, to care about what goes on in their lives. Like they've got something like in them and in the way that they think about themselves that accepts a lot of other things about God, except for the things that apply to them. That's possible. That is totally possible.

Or, or there's, there's like an atheistic type above, well, I suppose you can't technically be an atheist and, and hold this particular view, but like someone who is like basically against God or claim a lack of existence, who will say, well, if God exists and he hates you because of the following. Right. Right? Because of this type of, pain that's in the world or whatever like that. But, you know, I don't know if that's particularly common. Seven lies that hurt people have heard and perpetuate. Yeah. Alright. Next, god is in my political party. Okay. Okay. I don't know if anybody really believes that. Oh, I don't know about that. I You think so? Absolutely. Are you kidding me? God votes for Goldwater. That's what we think, Kevin? I mean, I guess that people think that, like, we are the we are the platform of

Christian beliefs. I could, I could see that and people using, trying to justify what they believe politically that they blame Jesus for it. Totally. That's true across multiple political platforms. But do you think people are really

well, maybe so maybe on the fringe, there's a few maybe so. Okay. Next God is religious. I don't like this one. I don't like, I don't like this. I think it's a misrepresentation, especially when you say like, I have a relationship, not a religion. I'm like, because you're it's it's the same way where you're thinking about the, about love. I'm like, James seems to think there's something positive about a true religion.

Yeah. And so like, I, I just you're, I think you gotta be cautious that you're not throwing out good, right. Structured beliefs, ways in which the church has behaved to justify your Jesus is my homie. Look at the world. Right. Like, and and so not that I I think the relationship is is paramount, but, like, I I don't think you have to take a whiz on Right. What what you believe to be religion in in light of it.

Yeah. For a long time, I did the whole I don't have a religion. Have relationship. Yeah. And it really led me it led me down a weird path where I was like, Jesus is my buddy. Mhmm. And I'm like, well, I'm pretty sure he calls king is kind of the the Yeah. Feel he is important important here. Like, I'm there's a kingdom that I'm a part of, and there's some serious stuff. Like, I may not be defined by rituals that don't have meaning. Yeah. But, like, it's all the same thing now. So yeah. Like, we have to do I actually was we've talking about this recently is that, like, this notion of king and friend are hard things for us to get. Jesus can do both. No problem. He doesn't have a problem with them both being true. We sometimes struggle with what that looks like. But you're right. You don't throw out king and don't throw out friend. Right. Exactly. You live in the tension of both of those being accurate for Jesus.

Okay. Let's see. God thinks less of women. God thinks less of women. I think people that actually feel that way don't believe in God. Like, I think they think that a patriarchal

set of dudes made a religion that kept women under their boots. Yeah. They haven't actually read the Bible. They just have been told that that's what the bible says. Supposed to be the weaker vessel, and they're supposed to be quiet, and they shouldn't be teaching and or pastoring and stuff like those are wrestleable items. These are things to wrestle through, but, like, it it also it's not the, you can't read those out of its out of the context of either what Paul is saying nor frankly the whole trajectory of strict scripture, especially Jesus' interactions. Right. And so yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Let's see here. Ella, is this the last one? No. No. God does not exist. Seven lies people believe about god is that he doesn't exist. Who believe that? Yeah. It does seem a little bit He's a lie. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. Seven lies people believe about god. He's a potato. Okay. He shows up in French toast.

Hey. Weird. Okay. This is the final part of the article. Then we're gonna get to, checking in with BUVA's, recent foray into the world of, sermons. He ends the article with this. When we figure out who God really is, we're better able to not only be his representatives to the rest of the world, but our own spiritual lives are healthier. Examine your own preconceived notions and ideals for these falsehoods and weed out what's not truly scriptural, like god does not exist. Oh, yeah. Right. Yep. Do this, and you'll find god. I

hated that. There's a man in a picture with his arms in victory. I okay. I thought you were just doing that, and that was your natural reaction to what just happened. What is prayer cloth, and are they biblical? Read next. Don't believe that. Okay. Alright. You're listening live from the path. No. Checking out with Buva. Buva visited you visited a a random you were at a church because somebody was getting baptized. Yes. And you took in the sermon of the day. I sure did. What were your thoughts? Oh, boy. It was it was rough stuff. Okay. And it was interesting because so I was sitting with my family. They do not attend church very often, and they do not believe in Jesus. A couple of them are very against the thought of of organized religion and all that stuff, and and it's it's super fun. And

as we're sitting there and I'm listening to this pastor talk, and I'm just my head is hung in shame Mhmm. At the fact that, like, I'm like, these they're in church right now. This is an opportunity for them to hear some good stuff. Yeah. And this is what they're getting. Nice. And I'm like, oh, no. I, like, I there was a part of me that wanted to just go up on stage and be like, hi. I'd feel like I should talk after what just happened. But, anyway, I let me let me start by saying that I feel the guy was was well intentioned and is trying to love on people. Yes. Yep. I there's no reason for me to to believe that him and I would be adversarial.

It's just there's a certain things that that just seems kinda rough. And so it was, it it was a baptism Sunday, and so it was trying to kind of speak about the gospel. He said, know, I'm just here to to speak the gospel and then get out of God's way. Yep. And there were a lot of amens to that and, you know, hallelujahs and good stuff. And so great. I agree. Fantastic. Speak the gospel and then move and let God do things. Right? Like, awesome. Then we start getting into the scripture, which was just jumping around all over the place and just nitpicking everything that could possibly be grabbed to be possibly about the gospel Uh-huh. And the concept of baptism, which was interesting, but, like,

once was it something Jesus said, and, like, that felt kinda rough Uh-huh. To be like, I'm bringing the good news of Christ, but I'm gonna stick around with some stuff that wasn't really anything with Jesus. Mhmm. So was I like, okay. Yeah. Well, whatever. So let's see what he does in the in the midst of the the the pieces of scripture that he's grabbing. Started with a picture of his family Okay. Yep. On the on the screen. And he goes, I've been told that people will like me more if I show them my family. And I just kinda started chuckling, and I was like, what a way to telegraph that you're not a likable person. It's to go, most people don't like me, but when I show my family, oh, boy. Uh-huh. Really get in their good graces. And I'm like, come on, man. Like, can we move past the gimmicks? Like, you just said,

I need to, like, get out of the way of Jesus and speak his gospel, and you start off with the mechanics of cool pastor. Uh-huh. Let's play me on center stage. Right. It's like, come on, man. And he did he did the cliche, and I hate this. He did the whole, I got six kids. If you can't tell, I really enjoy what the lord allows me to do. And I'm like, come on, man. Oh, no. Like, I don't know if we need this. Like, if we're we don't need this. No. Like, nobody needs the the creepy youth pastor that's like, I'm really excited that I finally got married, and guess what that means, guys? I know. Guess what it's like, oh, it's creepy. It's super creepy what you've done. Nobody wants to think like that to you. Everyone is super excited about the fact that that is something the Lord made for married people. Yeah. But we don't need you to rub it in and go, I get that. I'm a clarify. Everyone is super excited that the Lord made that thing for them to participate in. Yes. No one wants to think about anybody else participating. Once been excited at a wedding going, I'm happy that they get to do that now. Nope. That's not a thing I've ever thought. Nope. Officiating a wedding, don't go, yeah, buddy. No. That's gross. So he made that joke, and every like, the whole congregation was in in stitches because of it. They're like, we get it, pastor. We get it. And I'm just like, I don't wanna be here anymore. I don't wanna be around people to get this. And so it was he I he also might have have said a scripture that he was gonna put up on the on the screen that doesn't exist in the Bible. Like, he dropped a Galatians quote, but I think it was the wrong chapter and verse because the the chapter and verse that he called out doesn't exist. And so I was like, okay. Alright. Cool. Because I wanted to follow-up Bible because you're busy doing other stuff. I'm just like, oh, no. Okay. Alright. Fair enough. And I'm like, I just I sound like I'm breaking the guy down, but, like, it I am. I whatever. I am. You sound like it because. I sound like it because that's exactly what I'm doing. And so if the the culmination of this and what really made me realize what was what was happening was the he goes,

you've all heard this parable before. And I'm like, okay. Finally, we get some Jesus words in here. Yeah. And he goes, there was a grandfather speaking to his grandson. And I go, okay. Already not identifiable as one that I've heard. Maybe it's a different one that I just don't know. Like, in the Catholic He's a Catholic by way. Right. Exactly. MacNeese, what's happening right now? Samuel's hidden You've all heard this parable before, and if you haven't, maybe, you know, listen in. Uh-huh. And I'm like, oh, he really thinks that he's bringing the heavy with whatever he's about to say. And he goes, oh gosh. He goes, a grandfather was sitting there with his grandson, and he explains to his grandson that the grandfather has two wolves that live within him. And I'm recognize it immediately, and I'm like, no. No. No. Don't do this. Don't do it, like, you could just feed the ambiance of it. Like, the room got real hushed. They're like, I like wolves. It

was like 200 people in a room. They're wearing Timberwolf shirts that are howling at the moon. They're like, wolves are cool and powerful. And he goes, and they're always fighting and and fighting each other always, and one of them will eventually win. And that leads the grandson to ask the grandfather, grandfather, which wolf will win, though? And he goes, the wolves are represented. One is the evil within me, and it lives and it and it it lives for lust, and it lives for for anger and for for bad things. And then one wolf is for the good things in my life, righteousness and and and good things. And grandson, the wolf that will win is the one that you feed. And when I tell you that this whole congregation having been listening to scripture for twenty minutes and not said anything

heard the punch line of that wolf thing, and they all go, oh, no. Oh, that's heavy. The wolf you feed. If I'm doing bad stuff, I'm feeding that bad wolf. That's what's happening, man. I'm I'm tired of this bad wolf. Mhmm. Sick of it. And I'm like, oh, no. The most impactful thing from this dude's statements, like, of it, having said multiple things about, like, the identity of who Jesus is and what baptism means to us and all this different stuff, it was kinda like, yeah. We get that. But, man, pastor, you really killed it with that wolf parable you said. Yeah. Yeah. And I immediately I I couldn't help myself. I, like, reached up to my my two siblings that are in front of me, and I said, we're getting a family tattoo today. He says hashtag don't feed the wolf. We're doing this right now. They are cracking up laughing. I'm like, I can't do this, man. This is so rough. And so I'm waiting for him to bring it home or anything. Yeah. It turns into at the end, he goes, so here's the deal with baptism and with with who we are and what Jesus calls us to be. Everybody in here has just gotta die.

Like, that's what it means. We've gotta die. And I'm like, I I pseudo get I mean, I get what you're getting to. Yeah. But, like, that's a weird thing to drop as, like, the end of your sermon is, like, everybody in here's gotta die. Yeah. And everybody's like, yeah. Hallelujah. We gotta die. Don't feed the wolf. Blah blah blah blah. And everybody gets up and starts dancing and singing. And I'm like, is this is this what we're doing? I mean, it's a real mix of it's a mix of metaphors. Like, am I the dead wolf or the living wolf? I can't die and be the wolf of kings. Am I the am I the wolf that doesn't get fed? And, like, here's the deal. And and this church is it it they're known for being incredibly accepting to, like, anybody Yep. Which I appreciate. Like, that's a super cool thing. Like, they even have this, like, mission statement at the very beginning of the church or the the the the Cermakos. Like, they go through

all of the possible walks of life that you could think of and all of the modern terminology for all of those things, like tweaker, like meth head, like a drunk or a boozer, and, like, it's it's, like, three minutes of essentially extenuate or extending the whole Paul thing where he starts talking about, like, oh, idolater. And it it it was rough. Like, at one point in time, they said the word whore. Yeah. And, like, people kinda got, like, yeah.

Like, that's me. I'm here. And I'm like, I appreciate that you're pushing for, like, there we accept everyone. We love all of you. And he goes, we we are called to you are you are accepted before you believe. Everybody stood up, hallelujah, all this different stuff. I was just like, man, I appreciate some of the bones here. And, like, I love the fact that they're inviting to anybody, and there's not a single walk of life that can't walk into that place and get loved on. And I love that entirely. I love that so much. It's affected people in my life in a good way. But, like, this dude comes in and, like, this is the heavy? Mhmm. And I'm just like, what did it's just it's flare. Like, you're you're I mean, you're twirling flags. Like Yeah. There's not meat happening here, and there's not stuff where people are, like, legitimately turning that will push for this is a real relationship with Christ that you're pushing for.

What you're what you're putting out there seems to be just we accept everybody and don't feed the wolf and then drop the heavy on it. Right. And and so, like, I I like, the the the risk because it seems like, okay. I mean, maybe this just seems like good advice. You know? Don't don't feed to don't keep doing the wrong things. Great. Okay. I should give those up, and then my good side would be more powerful. I mean, that's great. And it may change your some of your life circumstances. Uh-huh. And but but neither of those two wolves is the Lord Jesus. Exactly. And so, like, you've all you've done is pushed back onto someone the notion of their own inertia and responsibility Right. On what it looks like to change your life, and it it left out the act it's the anti gospel, to be honest with you. Like, it's the exact opposite. The transformations within you. Right. It's it's No. Yes. It it it's you couldn't have said a more wrong thing when you're trying to get at baptism and and gospel. Now, if you wanna talk about under the subheading of Jesus says, here are the things of what it looks like to not destroy yourself. Uh-huh. And you're gonna feel them at war. And the more you do the thing, the harder it is to bail from it. Right. Okay. Yeah. Use your wolves. No problem. Right. But like, yeah, that was, he probably does not realize, but he that was the exact opposite of the gospel message. Yeah. It I know. They

they cater to I'm trying to allow anonymity here as best as I can. They cater to a a a group of people that are, like, addicted to drugs and Proofing alcohol and stuff. Yeah. Sure. Right. Exactly. And, like, there's a certain level of, like, you have to take charge in in what you're doing and stop doing that stuff that gets put out there. Yep. But, like, that is also in line or, like, that that comes also with the transformative power of Christ in your life. Like, holy spirit starts changing your heart and starts changing things for you because you have have, like, allowed him in and have are working with that with with the with the god of this universe on trying to be better. Like, that's it's not just you wake up one day, wanna get better, and then you're the reason you're better. Like, that rarely works. Right. Like, it should work in tandem with the fact that, like, God is moving things in you because you are giving up parts of yourself to be in line with who he wants you to be. Yeah. Yeah. Any notion of personal failure relapse, personal failure in there, like, your whole world recumbles. Exactly. Yes. There's no foundation. Everything's broken. You're in quicksand again. Yep. Yep. I think in in the

grand chessboard, spiritual chessboard that that God plays as he places churches and congregations and people and servants and doing things. I think he does have some, this is a very low entry level place

where someone would come when they might come to my church or to your church and like, just be completely lost. Not good thing that's being said, but they're, they're getting it. But here's the thing. Hopefully at some point, and I've seen this so many times through the years now in various settings where they will outgrow. Yeah. But they're being fed. At some point the spirit within them will lead them to, I need more. And, and, and, and some may not, some may fall and just drift and try to feed the wrong wolf or whatever. But, but some will be like, okay. I I I just crave Right. Gospel,

and they and and they'll they'll find it. I I I guess I'm just saying I trust the holy spirit. No. And that's fair. And that's a that's a good point. Not that they're not valid what you're saying. You you know? But Right. Yeah. And I and like I said at the beginning, like, I I don't believe that this dude was trying to hurt people. And like I Right. Yeah. I don't and I don't think he was trying to, like, promote himself. He offers nothing for any of us. Yeah. And so yeah. Oh, absolutely. Right. Concrete. Yeah. And so I was just thinking I don't really do breast milk anymore. Right. And I as I was sitting there, I'm just like, I just I feel like I'm worried about where this leads because, like, that and and it's true. There is a trust in the holy spirit that maybe I'm I'm not giving a little bit of of credence here too. People say that for twenty five years, and you go, okay. You haven't. That's when Paul said, you're on milk. Get going. I've seen a lot of people get pulled in by that kind of message that ultimately leads to nothing. Yeah. Like, leads to this is you know, it led to I felt good in the moment for a few weeks or a few days or a few hours, but within seconds, it was like, okay. Cool. That was, you know, like, you lit a lighter, and there was a little bit of heat from it. But, like, I don't feel like I'm any better for it, and I don't feel like I have warmth in my heart from it. It's like, I just feel like I

appreciate the charisma. I appreciate the the openness to to allowing anybody in and saying everybody's welcome here, and you don't have to be, you know, twenty years down the line to be, loved by Jesus. That's all absolutely true. I just caution the other side of it that doesn't have meat and doesn't have, like, a foundation to sit on. I would, yeah, I would actually say, like, meat is one thing. Here, it's just context is another. Right. Yeah. Like, again, if you wanna say, you know, even in the presence of good news of of full rescue, good and evil will still be competing in you. Absolutely. Yes. Okay. Like, again, I I you totally could've for me, you could've if you take that same metaphor and because it hits right for for this group of folks, you just move it underneath a true thing about Jesus and rescue. Then I'm in. Then I actually don't have any concerns. I think this makes me think of, have you, have you seen the Jesus revolution movie yet? I haven't. Wanted to tell you, I'm like, I'm not the emotional guy. I had a tear going down my cheek during this thing. I'm like, oh, okay. Good thing the lights are off. It's the story of Chuck Smith at Calvary Chapel. Okay. And he the big Jesus movement with the hippies. Mhmm. Yep. And and and, you know, the average church did not they shut the door. They don't want those people here. Yeah. You

know, one guy comes along and he brings them in and all of sudden, and, but Chuck Smith's like the total Bible guy, right? Nerd Bible, you know, and just hear him preach, preach it as is. So one guy brought him in at a certain level, and when he would preach, was like a lot of, you know, but then Chuck built them up to something else. You know?

And then it started spreading. It was crazy. Yeah. I mean, I'm kinda mixing reality in the movie of of what happened. Right. I'm hoping that's what's happened, but will happen with people that And here's the deal. Like, there's there's some serious growth that's happening. Like, I'm seeing it in family members. I love it. Like, I'm super excited about things that are actually changing for them. And they probably Hopefully, at some point, Right. Need I've just I've I've also seen other family members that have been subject to this stuff that, like, they felt good for a moment. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it it felt great for just a second, but, like, it really it it was very shallow. And so the second that that water started rising, it was just like, oh, no. Like, this didn't help me at all. Like, I'm in a paper boat right now. It's it's it's gonna sink. I hope your wolves can swing, bro. Like Right. Yeah. And it's like, I don't know. Yeah. I I wasn't, like, angry. I wasn't upset or anything like that. It just really, like, in the moment, I was like, I just I I know

how shallow this can be taken. Mhmm. And I know it's true. Context is better than meat. It like, it it there's there's gotta be gotta be a level where it's like, oh, you need to realize, like, what's actually happening here, though. It's not just you feel good, and it's not just, oh, I gotta stop feeding that wolf because that wolf's gonna win, so I'm gonna stop looking at porn or I'm gonna stop doing drugs. Everybody knows they gotta stop doing drugs. Like, that that's that's not a thing that you're changing somebody's mind on. Like, nobody on meth right now is going, meth is really great for me. Is this wolf okay? Yeah. Is it is this wolf doing good? Because either wolf was looking fairly anemic. Like, this is just a rough deal. Yeah. And so I don't know. It was just interesting to me as I'm just like, okay. This is the it's the first time I've been out in a, in a church that isn't my own for for a while. Mhmm. And so it was very interesting. Yeah. And, I I really do want that tattoo that says hashtag don't feed the wolf. Yeah. Yeah. We'll see what happens. I was kind of on the other end of the deal a couple of weeks ago. I'm starting to go out and talk about the orphanage and went to a church, rural, rural, small, rural town. Right? And it's it's it is it is exactly what I remember from the seventies. And

I had to remind myself, man, this is family. I'm here with family. It's like, they were singing songs that I grew up doing the hymns I had never heard. I'm more like, I have never heard. And it was the deal, you know, it's a small, small country church. The, the, the piano player, had had back surgery or something. So she like recorded somehow digitally, I suppose her on the piano singing and, and, know, she'd speed up and slow down. And I was like, okay, we're not keeping the same tempo, but of course the head, the hymns are real high, you know, and everybody's got their head buried. Know, I'm like, okay, I, I've been, I've been here again, but sometimes it's hard not to put that through the filter of, okay, come on. You can do better.

Know what? You've had the same pastor for seventy two years. Yeah. Like I didn't use that. There was a couple of songs. I'm like, really? You guys are looking at the words, the, you know, blessed be, you know, whatever. I'm like, I haven't sung up for thirty years and I'd still know what my heart, you know, but, but you know, that it's easy to get critical because you end up where you're really comfortable and what speaks to you. And like, if any of them came to archers, they'd be just as uncomfortable and weird and awkward, you know? And then inside, just thought, man, I'm just hearing God's people. I'm just going to enjoy this. And, but I wasn't listening to bad teaching. I was the teacher. It was great. It wasn't no, you know, and I, this goes back to the same thing that I think I've said before when it comes to how you interact with kids.

And this, but the comparison is going to seem just a little bit off, but like, I just see Jesus interacting with all kinds of people. And he, he doesn't go for the cheap thing, the connecting thing, the story that that that would make sense to them, the parable that would hit them. That's why I'm that's why I like the wolves. I've you to be honest, you get rooms full of people who've gone through rough situations. Like, the the more dramatic kind of epic image hits them. Yeah. That's true. Because they've run the gamut of emotions. Like, pulls on something like, like, if you feel when you're fighting a drug addiction, you feel like you're up against a massive wall. Right? Whether you believe it to be evil or in you out there,

like emotions that you're finding physical things that you're fighting. Like they there there's, there are blockades in their minds for, of people who are struggling with that, that I don't actually know. I've not been there. And so, like, all my problems are barely even Kealy sorted out. But, like, some of those dramatic images, like, it's it's how you amp up for what is a freaking battle and a half. Right? So, like, I'm in on the wolves. It's it's and so it's it's just like Jesus would tell a parable that would make sense to somebody who could do the loser of the field. That's right. The Pharisees are going, are you serious? Exactly. However, that's, but you don't see this is where obviously Jesus got the right balance here. Like, yes, there's, this is something you connect with, but what does it point you back to? It points you back to the father. Right. Right. And so like he's Jesus is not missing the opportunity to say, Hey, yes, bringing you new kingdom. The kingdom reflects the character of the father. Here's some examples, but it points back up to the father himself. Right? And so my encouragement then is if you're ever going to stand on behalf of the Lord and speak something to someone like your context matters, your images will vary on who you're talking to. I think that's right. And righteous. Yeah, absolutely. But the context of what the, the thing that you offer, the thing, the words that you're bringing,

that no one else has to offer on the, you know, Zig Ziglar doesn't have to offer, just with some general encouragement on how to live a better life, is the things that point back to the father. And so if we miss that, yeah, I think God can can probably get back to it and sort it out obviously. But like, it's the one thing that if I showed up to say anything, I'm not gonna miss the points back to the father piece. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Alright. You've been listening to life from the path. Alright. Let's give some advice on dear life and the path to get out of here. I'm ready. You me too. Dear life from the path. Okay. When I visit my three grandchildren on Fridays, my daughter-in-law never offers me any refreshment.

Now you know why I was laughing earlier? Not even a glass of water or a cup of tea. She will eat in front of me and not offer me anything. This this this is her daughter? This is her daughter-in-law. Daughter-in-law. Okay. Not even a glass of water or a cup of tea. She will eat in front of me and not offer me anything. I was taught that this is rude. Should I bring my own refreshment? If I did, I would feel as though I would need to feed the whole family.

I already travel quite far to get to her house, forty five minutes each way, and I bring snacks for the grandchildren. I visit them because it's easier for my daughter-in-law to have me over than to haul the one, three, and six year olds out to my house. I would love to be invited for stay for dinner, but it never happens ahead of time. If I come at 2PM, then around 5PM, I may be invited, but I feel it is out of obligation, so I don't stay. What should I do? May maybe maybe the daughter-in-law

sees you as family and figures you can go get yourself a glass of water. Right? But she was taught that it's polite to be offered that glass of water. She eats in front of her, Dan. Right. To say, hey. Do you mind if I have a glass of water? Yeah. I mean Where's the sun? I'm probably at work. It's a 02:00 on a Friday. Okay. I suppose that's fair. Yeah. I here's, here's what I tell you. How many kids did she say? Many kids? One, three, and six. And this woman one, this woman's home, Right. With the three kids. Three kids on a Friday at 02:00. Uh-huh. I she's either homeschooling or busy off her off her bones, man. You're in you're you're showing up and, like Yeah. You're doing a great thing by going. Like, that's a super awesome thing. If you're there to help help, like I but I you're approaching this with the wrong mind. Bring it to you. You wanna drink some tea? Bring some with you for heaven's sakes.

For goodness. Stop by the local, gas station on the way there and get yourself a bottle of, you know, Snapple. It can't be that simple, fellas. Anymore. It can't be that simple. She says bring her own refreshments or get a glass of water yourself. I'm afraid that if I bring Snapple, I have to get some for the whole family. For the whole family? Here's the sum for the one year old. Here's some Snapple for the three year old. Like, you're being goofy. She said she brang or she she brought snacks for the kids. I'm a tell you this. She brought snacks for three of the five people involved, so she's not willing to scrounge for the other two? Yeah. Herself being one of them? Yeah. Maybe the mother is she's saying is she doesn't wanna bring food for her daughter-in-law. That's it. That's it. That's it. Is that the next letter? My mother-in-law comes and doesn't offer me snacks. Doesn't offer me any snacks when she comes to visit me and my children. Okay. I'm now this isn't always true, but I'm gonna I'm gonna bet 80% of the time

she does not want you to bring snacks for her children. Right. A lot of times the world's got the snacks they need at their house. I'm just saying a lot of times families have curated what snacks, types of snacks. What's in the snacks. As if you are a grandparent, you totally have the right to ignore that. It's it's one of the benefits of being a grandparent, but if you're showing up every week with whole hose and she gives out dried mangoes, you're causing a problem. You know what, though? As as the grandfather in the room,

I always ask, hey. Is this okay? Kind. Is this the kind of food you want your son to have? Right. Dan, I really want you to make your own blog called the grandfather in the room. Like, I know don't what the context is really gonna be, but that just feels like a publication I would sign up for. Yeah. Really? Like, the weekly newsletter from Dan, the grandfather in the room. I don't know. It just felt great. I just wanted to call that out real quick. I I feel like you're in the right position too because you can go and say, hey. Look. I bought these Twinkies. Are the kids allowed? And, like, no. We don't really give them the Twinkies. No problem. Right back here. Oh, I guess I'm gonna eat these now. $3.03 for me. Grandpa tax. If I bring if I bring them next week, remember I forget. I'm a grandfather. I bring cohos because they're two. Yeah. I would like, if you're coming to see the kids, then you should be enjoying the kids. If but just recognize that you're interrupting something. If if you're there till five, it means you'll be there for three hours. I don't care if if they love you to death. Like, especially if if either you're either homeschooling or there's just a routine. Even with a one and a three year old, there's a routine, and I guarantee you're interrupting it. Yeah. She's probably okay with it. She seems to be glad to have you there. But, like, these expectations you have in your mind, like, you are the most important thing happening in the afternoon, I think I think it's just an attitude problem. If you change that, then I think this drink thing goes away. Yeah. No. That's fair. Alright. You're you're ready for secular? Let's have it. Oh gosh. This is a doozy.

You were raised in a home where you were taught good manners. Apparently, the woman your son married was not. No hostess with an ounce of class would eat in front of a guest without offering them anything. You're not a hostess or a guest. It gets better. The haphazard way you were included at dinner makes me wonder if your daughter-in-law dislikes you and only tolerates your presence because it certainly isn't calculated to make you feel welcome. Talk this over with your son. If your visits are regarded as an imposition, perhaps you should take the grands for an outing rather than watch their mother eat. Wow. I hate this advice. It was so bad. So bad. You are 100

correct. She is a troll of a woman. Hate her. Hate her. Why did you let your son marry this filth? This buffet eating Jezebel hates you. My. That is terrible. Nathaniel, I don't know. I don't know. Did we miss something here? We were way off. Please bring the heavy. Yeah. Look, you don't have any fights at your place. You're the guy who should be solving all these problems. I mean, I

don't, I don't know. It just seems, I mean, it seems kind of rude to not be like, Hey, you want a, you want a water mother-in-law? But also it's like the mother-in-law can do it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Like my mother-in-law comes over to my house. I don't, I don't say, Hey, you want a water? And let but, like, sometimes I do. Sometimes I'll be getting something at the store, getting some Sodies. Yeah. And I'll say, hey. You want anything? Nathaniel's a hostess with no class. I am. I am actually a hostess with no class. But it just seems way blown up. It seems like too much. Yes. And my guess is is that it's not even true. Right. Right. To to your point, like, normally, I can't think of the last person that came to my house where I say, hey. Do you want something? I just kinda people are who are at my house,

I presume are gonna just grab or or frankly know that I don't keep anything good at my house. We offer filtered water over here. Right? Like, I my house is not the place to go for something good to drink. And so but people who know me know this when they come in. You wanna come in? We've got groundwater. It's great. That's right. It's in a basin in the bedroom. Go grab it. We don't use cups, though. It's actually clamshells that are all they're all Oh, man. I'm a tell you this. It is I I can't please don't validate. I can't have people over. I say what you want. We got, we got water, warm water in the, in the filtered bucket over here and a almond milk

and a juice that you're not allowed to have. Cause we use that for communion and, yeah, soda? No. Tea? No. Don't think so. Last time I went over to Ben's, I had to go out to the well myself. My barns are getting tired. How how deep is this water? Don't drop that bucket for too long. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Okay. Yeah. That's that's this is the worst this freaking terrible advice. Oh, I'm super excited for that. Terrible advice. Let's have it. Dear life of the path, my son has a best friend, Earl.

He's hung Nope. That's there's no way. Is it in quotes? It's in quotes. Okay. Okay. Oh, here's she the the the writer's a 150. Yeah. Right. He has hung out with the so my son has best friend, Earl. K. He has hung out with since they were 14. Earl considers me his second mother because his real mother deserted him after he graduated from high school. K. He's never married or had kids. I'm 76, and Earl sweet Moses. Earl is 55. Uh-oh. He does small jobs for me off and on, like changing the light bulbs in my kitchen, fixing a light switch, replacing my windshield wipers, etcetera. He calls me off and on, and we email a lot. We both love movies and enjoy discussing them and the actors. When he calls, I know I sometimes become long winded. I'm sure Earl gets tired of me going on and on about my stuff. But instead of telling me he needs to go, he quietly hangs up on me. These are the best today.

I mean, the best. I think it's extremely rude. I wish he would just tell me he has to go. I wouldn't be upset about that. Earl never mentions it later. We just go on as usual. I could tell him I'm never speaking to him again if he does it again, but I need him to help with those small tasks, so I don't wanna make him mad. Must I remain silent about it? What should I do? These are killer today. I should Set a timer, fifteen minutes, and then shut up. Are you there?

I just, it puts the image in your mind though. It's like this woman just to gabbing around and him was like slowly putting the receiver down and tiptoeing away from the phone. He been there for ten minutes. He walked away. He's in the bathroom. Do you want to know when this was written? Yeah. Two days ago. Yeah. Actually, like Dan's better. I like the opposite thing where he just like, just hangs up the phone, no problem. And walks away gladly starts making a sandwich. This is the best. Okay.

Yeah. I well, here's the thing. Like, if you know, if you know you're windy Yeah. She knows the problem. Right? Like I could be long winded going on about my stuff. Start Just quietly hangs up after a while. Oh, gosh. Yeah. I bet Dan, like The chrome plated stones on Earl is just is great. I mean but listen. But look at him, though. He still comes over and helps. Right. No problem. Yeah. He even sees no issue with this. He gets on the phone still and listens. And emails. Yeah. There's not anyone I email outside of work ever. Yeah. I I get emails from pet hospitals every once in while when they need to talk about my cats. Yeah. But, like, I don't think I've there's not a single friend or or family member or anybody I email on on the regular. Does your cat hospital years old or not? Does the cat hospital say, dear mister Buba, are you cleaning out your litter box correctly? Because They should send out a newsletter. Can you cover that on, the grandfather room by chance? Like, proper litter technique? I agree. Yeah. Yeah. I'll illustrate. I called the scooping thing. So what's our what's our what's

our advice to to He's not your girlfriend. Uh-huh. Quit trying to treat him that way. Set his timer if you have to, but but do not over extend your stay on the phone. Yeah. I just curious. Did anybody else see the potential that she was going to want to date this man? I did. Thought it was going to. I thought, oh no, he asked me to marry him. That's what I was waiting for as I was reading through it. I intentionally didn't read through all the pieces. I just grabbed like the first couple of sentences and started laughing. I was like, oh, I'm reading that one. Yeah. Yeah. I was really hoping this wasn't gonna turn weird. Yeah. Yeah. Earl's parents abandoned him. So when he was 25, I took him in. We've been dating for fifty years now. It's like, oh. That's right. I'm surprised he abandons my phone call. Yeah. That's what he does. That's what he He's really great with a light bulb. It's from his stock. Oh gosh. Okay. Yes. I I don't think there's any other there's not, like, 50 pieces of advice here. Stop talking so long and winded the man out. Is there anything we wanna say to Earl? I mean, here I

agree that this man has got a he's got a pair on him to to not really hang up on someone without saying and then does not even acknowledge him. Never mention it. Like, Earl, this is the forty sixth time you hung up on me. Why do you answer my calls if you don't wanna talk? Yeah. Well, Ethel, you talk for fifty eight minutes every time. That's why. I have thirty minutes budgeted for my time with you. Yeah. Earl should start with that. Is there belief that he that maybe he thinks he's getting away like, that he thinks he's just falling asleep. Over on her? Like, doesn't know he's gone. Falling asleep, and then his hand falls off the phone or hits the end or I don't know. He leaves her on speaker and falls asleep. Now here's the thing. She's she caused this problem because not only did she windy the man, but because she doesn't mention it, he thinks he's a genius. He thinks he thinks he's getting away with this thing and has been for years. She doesn't even know. What if it's just his battery's dying? That's a long time to talk. Same Five hours in. Same advice then. Right. If you're going in and knocking out the battery, it's too much. Stop being so windy. She called. He only had 37% left. Yeah.

Yeah. He needs to set some expectations ago. Says, hey. We got thirty minutes to talk. That's it. Yeah. I wanna talk about all the actors and the movies you like. I love thank you so much for all the stuff you've done for me. I will be there Tuesday to make certain I get your light bulbs taken care of. But, also, where's her son? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Best friends with Earl since 14. They're he's 55. They have been friends for forty one years. Oh. Oh, I did. Yeah. Forty one years. It's made me think of a different angle. And I think this is something to be cautious of as someone who interacts with older folk. Her worry about conflict

is that he will then no longer come around to help them, help her. And it puts someone, especially like a, like a, someone who's in an advanced stage who cannot do things for themselves. Like that they do, they have to reduce some of their, normal human interactions for fear that someone may not be able they may not be willing to help them. And it's a really interesting thing to think about. Scary thing. Right. Right. Like, are someone someone concerned that the basics of their life like, one's gonna show up and help me change a light bulb that I can't I cannot stand on a chair and go change this light bulb anymore. So I won't say something to my

grandson or my son lest they not be willing to help me. And so I say that to consider, like, if you're in relationships like that, maybe maybe take the time to, like, just remind your family or people you're helping out to say, by the way, my help is not conditional. I still value your opinion and don't feel like you can't say things to me. I'll be here anyway. Yeah. No. That makes sense. Maybe just what she said remind like, I would hate to feel like that. Like that. Oh, because then you're you're now you've create now you've created a shallow relationship between that you don't want, but you have to because you're protecting a risk for yourself that have physical needs to it. And like, this is the you want deeper relationships then at this time of life. And you don't want to miss out on those for them fear that you're not going to come over and help.

And here's another thing. Connect with some old people in your life. Mhmm. Like, it doesn't have to be your family members. Like, you don't have to, like, hang out with your estranged grandma or whatever, but, like, are some cool people out in the world that would just love to be interacted with and spend some time with. And, like, if you've got the bandwidth for an hour on a Saturday every once in a while, spend some time with them. Go to go to a nursing home if you can figure it out Mhmm. And not be creepy about it and just listen. And just like those people have insanely awesome stories and life that you've never even thought could be lived. And they feel so undervalued in many situations and unloved because they feel like a burden in all situations. And you can help take off that emotional burden by just being there. And so that's just a real little random, like, you know, 20¢ on the top of the dollar there that you just spend some time. It's such a weird I was thinking about this last week, actually, about I was thinking about my job and about,

like, notions of retirement and things and things like that. And I thought like, what what a this is done and explained me by the way, but I was pulling this thought process to, like, its greatest ends, which was like, what just think of what it's like for someone who is in their in their prime and like their words change the world. Right. And then it doesn't take, but like a blink of a blink of an eye and someone has to wipe their butt.

You wanna say like it's it's just, and what changed bulbs. Nothing about that guy's soul changed. Nothing like and oftentimes their mind is is sharp. Their their body is not cooperating with them anymore. And and based upon that external view of the world,

the whole world treats them differently. Like you would never know or get the same powers that that guy that guy thirty years earlier, like commanded armies made made stock prices go up and down, made decisions on where are we going for the next five years of life? And like, it's just so fickle and frail outside of our relationships.

And it's weird to think how much of an advertisement your physical body is on how the world interacts with you. Right. This and, like and and I get that's that's that's an age kind of an age thing and a frailty thing. But, like, we know this just on on random physical stuff or, like, physical stuff that people have. Like, people decide how they're going to interact with you based upon what you look like all the time, even as even things you can control, like, how are you standing today? And so, anyway, it was just it just it was such an odd it was such an odd thing that I'm sure, like, it's maybe it's best to have thought about earlier in life because you start to value the right types of things earlier in life and recognize that that just so this is the reason I was thinking about work. And I've said this before, like,

I started, I started work in the annuity, annuity business when I was 20. I didn't know anything about annuities. I had no, I couldn't, I knew they were in Charles Dickens novels. I knew like people would set up an annuity to make sure that kids were taken care of after parents died. And some lawyer was always the steward of this money who had to go deliver it to someone. So I'd like, that's my, that's my understanding. And like, I know all kinds of stuff. I'm I was there. There's been multiple times in my career where like, when you wanted to know something like I was the guy you would come and ask, and, and it does not, it is not lost on me that as soon as I left that door, that means nothing.

It is of no earthly worldly value to anybody. My if there's a status to it, it's it's 10 feet into the entrance. And, frankly, it's only it's only for seven and a half hours a day, and then no one gives a flying crap. Doesn't mean anything to them. And so, like, it's it's it's real, but it's fleeting and it's and it's fickle and it's and it's a it's it's as notional as the promise of an insurance company that they're gonna pay you something when you did. Like, it just it's just so fleeting. And so the question is, is like, when you look at, okay, how much, how often am I working? Where am I putting all my effort into? Who do I today? Who did I focus on caring about, what they think?

Did did I did I prioritize my wife and my children and my church family and, like, certainly my relationship with Jesus? Or, like, was I more worried today that some guy who could give a crap about me three years from now does not think about me in any context unless I popped up and he needed something from me. Is that the guy that got my focus today? Sometimes sometimes that's the case. And so I need reminded of of just just how again, it's it's it's not that it's not real. It's just that it's fickle. And it goes it's, it's if, if your whole life is a vapor, this is the breath before the vapor. Some of those things, that's

right. It only partially relates to this woman's problem, but all right. We get off my lap for fifteen minutes on that. Ready for a Daniel hang up and walk away. Saw it in his eyes too. He was like, I'm a, I'm a set this one in my defense. He's been like that for the last forty minutes. He was tired. Anyway, I was, thought to myself as you were telling that story, I should look up some complicated annuity questions. And then on the Rando, just pop them off, like text them over to you. Hey, Ben. I was just wondering. Oh, what a pal. What a pal you are. Yeah.

I was just thinking that I was tired of hearing him talk about annuities. You're better for the night. No. I I started looking up and I I didn't even know I don't know nothing other than what Ben has just explained about annuities, about Charles Dickens. Yeah. Through the whole thing, I was thinking, what a nerd knows about Charles Dickens novels? I literally googled complicated complicated annuity questions. Nathaniel, we love you. We appreciate you being here when you're so tired and you can't get the word complicated out. It's good stuff. Hey. Hey. I love you, buddy. This man is a pal. He's here for me. He says my man needs to be encouraged and find value in the world, and I'm gonna ask him annuity questions. Thanks, bro. And I'm the other friend on the other side where it goes, forget you and your Charles Dickens novels. Ridiculous. Come back down to earth. Boo was heaven. Nathaniel is sent from the Lord.

Probably true. Okay. What's the what what do we get do do we what was the advice? Do I give it a shot? Okay. Alright. Tell Earl or Secular says. Excuse me. Tell Earl that when he hangs up on you, it is extremely hurtful. Explain that you know you are sometimes long winded, and if he needs to end the conversation, there are kinder ways of doing it. Tell him that if he lets you know he needs to go, it will not hurt your feelings, and this is what you should you would prefer. Excuse me. Then cross your fingers that this second son gets the message. Now I I don't know that that's true. If if always in the conversation, you're the person who has to go, Hey man, I really gotta run. Like they're going to know that. Right. I saw, I don't know. I, again, it just, I suppose it depends how comfortable you are with each other. Like Mary, you're doing it again.

This is this is you're gonna go off on a tangent. I don't have time for your tangents. We've talked about gone in the wind 14 times now. I love you so much. I gotta go. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. One more? Yeah. Let's do one more, and then we're done. Dear, lie from the path. I am a first generation Mexican American who married into a Caucasian blended family. My husband, my stepdaughter Lisa,

and her mother and stepfather make up a beautiful unit. I have no children. Although my family initially ruffled at my interracial marriage, they got with the program. So much so that we invited Lisa to partake in a coming of age rite, the quinceanera. We were excited to update and modify it as much as possible so all sets of parents, grandparents, and other family could be involved. Suddenly, when Lisa was 14, a year before the quinceanera, when planning should be ramped up, not down, my extended family went into radio silence. Despite our attempts to encourage, coach, and generate excitement, we were led to believe Lisa had gotten cold feet and was reconsidering the event. We honored her wishes and planned to find other ways to make her feel special. Two weeks before her fifteenth birthday, Lisa sent me an invitation for her quinceanera. Dear Live for the Path, words cannot express how heartbroken I feel. I was supposed to teach her about the cultural significance of what she was embarking on. I attended anyway, making sure to shower her with praise and put on a good face. However, in addition to being devastated, I was deeply offended. Of course, because no one bothered to check-in, many features of the right were handed improperly.

I've been holding my tongue for Lisa's sake since, since. I'm afraid this could could cause a rift with her mother. What I don't want is for Lisa to think my feelings have anything to do with something she may have done. For the sake of peace, is continue is continued silence better. Boy, that is tough. What a jerk thing to do. Right. She's the one who would have suggested in the first place and then was completely kicked out of the planning and everything and made to believe that it wasn't happening. Right. So my but just just make sure I get it right in my mind. This is the the she marries the guy. Guy's divorced. Yep. So stepdaughter now. Stepdaughter now. Yep. K. Suggest

do white, bunch of whities. Yes. Bunch of whities. She's the Hispanic. Okay. And so she suggests, Hey, maybe we could do this quinceanera. I, it's just part of my culture. I can help do this. Seems interested. Yeah. Okay. And then it, then it dies. Yep. And then, and then she gets invited to a whitey version of the quinceanera of two weeks before it happens. And they did it like a bunch of whiteys. Yes. And did not do it correctly because they don't really understand it. And now she doesn't know whether she should say something. Right. I think Shows up there using taco bell mild sauce. Right. Exactly. Why people taco night? New York City. Taco shows from grocery store.

That's Kathy Ireland. Hey, Dan. We gotta give it up. Dan and I are getting old. Oh, man. So back in my day. So okay. So I I believe that's called a quasadilla. I would I would let it go. Yeah. And I would have if if I'd be curious. If I was the husband

of both of these women, I might say, hey. What happened here? Yeah. Like Do a little, like, recon of what went down. Yeah. Because, like, we have to continue to be in this kind of shared relationship and, like, this has this is feels this just felt real weird, and it'd be nice not to run into some weirdness. So can you help me understand what occurred? Yeah. I think I think the guy owes the daughter and the and the new wife that to try to investigate. Now you may not get anything, and it may be a crappy answer, and I think you don't push it. But I think you owe I think that guy owes everybody to go say, is there any possible way we don't end up in a situation like this again? Right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. That's fair.

Yeah. Alright. So at the end of dear life from the past, sometimes people will identify themselves by, like, a made up name like Lost in Lincoln or something like that. I didn't read the name that this gal has called herself and Secular answered by saying, dear Madre. And so I thought she was being kinda weird and racist by saying calling her Madre, but then I realized the gal identified herself as Madre de la Quinceanera. So it worked out. But Secular says, your feelings of hurt and frustration are understandable, but Lisa chose to celebrate her birthday the way she and her mom wanted, and that was her privilege. Rather than give the girl an authentic quinceanera and understanding of the meaning of that milestone, it appears her mother and stepfather opted instead for quinceanera light. Do not pick a fight over this. Move on, but do do continue to share with Lisa everything you have to offer, your wisdom, your experience, and your cultural heritage from now on.

Feel like that's I don't know. For a 14 to 15 year old that's gonna be like, oh, yeah. Quinceanera because of my Latina stepmom. That's a cool thing. Year prior, kick out Latina stepmom. Let's just do a Quinceanera light. Like, what? Yeah. I yeah. I I they're I think we might be misunderstanding. I think I think original mom may be Hispanic. Oh. I think we're reading wrong. Interesting.

I think original mom was Hispanic because it did say blended family at the beginning. Well, blended is more I think that's I think yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah. I think there's a chance that original mom was Hispanic. Oh, so now this is some sort of litany mixed turf or over who does quinceaneras correctly. I think that's I think that's actually Okay. I changed my advice. Dude, you gotta stay out of that. You don't wanna be in the middle of that stuff. I I possibly. I may be wrong, but I they it just gave me weird vibes. There you go. I think you're definitely wrong. But if you're not, then I say you gotta stay out of that. Alright. You're listening to life in the said once in a book about annuities. I don't know what's surprising. I am way more likely to know the contents of a Charles Dickens novel than I am an information about an annuity. Yeah. Agreed. But I get to call you a nerd when you talk about Charles Dickens novels still. You've been listening to life from path. Thanks for hanging out with us so far tonight. We really do appreciate it. Hey. If you got any feedback for the show hey. Just a blast from the past, and I know Buva doesn't do this, but you can use the email address [email protected]. All I get is advertisements there. So, I mean, if you got something fun to say, go ahead and shoot us an email. We'd love to hear from you. Or the life from the path complaint line, (515) 517-0085. Call or text. We'd love to hear from you on the complaint line. We are coming I think we're just, like, two or three shows away from the 500 show. Again, if you got any feedback for us, you wanna say, live from the path has changed my life from the following ways.

That's how you would do it. (515) 517-0085. Go ahead. Speak your mind. I hated that. I hated that a whole lot. If you call, I'm gonna have to listen to that two chance. Dear life from the path. Dear life from the path. This is the way that you've changed my life in the last When I hear the rumble of your voice, it gives me the tinglies. I wanna date your frequency. I I love I love everything I just say. It more, and you just kept going. Every bit of it. Alright. We thanks for hanging out.

We'll be back with you next week. In the meantime, be faithful in the means. God will handle the ends. You've been listening to Live from the path. Live from the path.