Dear LFTP: the 16-year-old doubting her Catholic faith

• How can I convince my devout Catholic parents that my agnosticism is not just a phase?
• Which one went to heaven: the nice dad who skipped church or the devout church lady? (Both died at 40.)

A 16-year-old from a devout Roman Catholic family writes that she's never felt religious, now identifies as agnostic, and is crushed by having to lie to her parents. Dan's core answer: they taught her religion but never introduced her to the living God and a relationship with the Savior - 'you can't pass on religion... you can pass on relationship.' Boova adds from experience that she'll have to choose herself and urges finding a Bible-believing youth group before giving up on God. The hosts agree to deal honestly with what the teen actually believes rather than deny it. The Secular advice says don't minimize her feelings or make it a contest of wills, closing with 'the opposite of faith is not doubt, it is certainty.' Ben then riffs: his Texas-drive Eminem listen (struck by the absence of joy, wondering who told the rapper about Jesus), a coworker's unanswerable 'which one went to heaven' question about his nice non-churchgoing dad vs. the devout church lady, his basic definition of a leader, and the 'super dad' who rocks at faith without faking it.