Nonbiblical signs, story 1: facial-recognition toilet paper

• Is facial-recognition toilet paper in China a nonbiblical sign of the apocalypse?

After a brief bit about an old Dan promo, the hosts open the 'nonbiblical signs of the apocalypse' game with story one: Beijing's Temple of Heaven Park is using facial-recognition machines to dispense two feet of toilet paper at a time, with a nine-minute wait for more, after an investigation found 30 rolls stolen daily. The panel riffs on the economics, the nine-minute wait, government surveillance fears, and ways to game the machines with disguises. Jeff votes apocalypse, Nancy votes normal times, Boova says only if it goes worldwide, and Dan calls it a sign of overpopulation and sinful nature — end times only if Christians get cut off.