Dear LFTP: the quinceanera the stepmom was cut out of

• For the sake of peace, is continued silence better about being cut out of the quinceanera?

A first-generation Mexican American woman married into a Caucasian blended family writes that she invited her stepdaughter Lisa to a quinceanera she would help lead, the extended family went radio silent for a year, and then — two weeks before Lisa's fifteenth birthday — Lisa sent her an invitation to the event planned without her, with the rite's features done improperly. The hosts' advice: let it go, and her husband owes both women some recon so the family does not land in this weirdness again. A mid-segment debate erupts over whether the original mom may herself be Hispanic (making it a turf war over who does quinceaneras correctly) — one host retracts into 'stay out of that.' The secular answer ('Do not pick a fight... continue to share with Lisa your wisdom, your experience, and your cultural heritage') is deemed reasonable. One host notes the letter was signed 'Madre de la Quinceanera,' which made the secular column's 'Dear Madre' greeting accidentally apt.