Dear LFTP: attacked by dogs on the trail

• What should I do about dogs attacking me on my walking trail?

A small older woman writes that off-leash dogs keep jumping on and biting her on her walking trail, asking how to address dog owners in a friendly yet firm manner. The hosts give practical advice: you cannot move the ten thousand people, so walk a different trail if safety is the real worry. The Secular answer is read aloud: carry pepper spray or bear spray and use it on the dog, and again when the owner shows up — sparking a long comedy riff about bear-spray justice and branded bear spray.