Dear LFTP: the five-foot wind chimes

• How should I approach my neighbors about their five-foot wind chimes?

A listener in a quiet, densely populated neighborhood asks how to approach neighbors whose five-foot wind chimes clang constantly. The hosts riff on anonymous letters signed ‘Sincerely, butthead,’ a cornhole-board neighborhood vote, out-chiming the neighbor with an eight-foot ‘Big Ben,’ lawn-gnome escalation, fake HOA notices, and magnetizing the chimes into ‘wind thunks,’ before landing on the real answer: decide whether it is worth any hassle, since you have lived with it two years. Secular's answer — research noise ordinances, knock with a gift of smaller chimes, then pursue legal means — is mocked as a recipe for becoming a viral ‘Karen.’