Dear LFTP: the sardine-eating coworker

• How should I tell my coworker Chuck that his sardine lunch stinks?

Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter about 'Chuck,' a coworker who eats sardines, red onion, and balsamic on salad every day and slurps the remaining oil. After a street-justice comedy bit — beat him up, tape him to the company fridge, 'Headbutt him. Night Ranger.' — the advice lands plainly: everyone knows sardines stink, so just talk to him directly, or get him infatuated with the hypothetical Ellen so he self-corrects.