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Dear LFTP January 9, 2023 · 59:58 · 11 min

Dear LFTP: my husband tucks me into bed and I feel like his child

  • How can the wife tell her husband his doting makes her feel like a child without starting a huge fight?

Mike reads a letter from a 36-year-old married 11 years to a doting 38-year-old husband who takes over chores when she is frustrated and tucks her into bed, kissing her goodnight; she feels like his child and struggles to love him as a husband. The hosts frame it with love languages: his version of love isn't landing, and there is a difference between caretaking and mutual desire ("zip," passion). Advice: be direct and explicit, not hints — he is dense and thinks he is nailing it — and ask him what he wants too; give him grace since he errs on the side of goodness. The Secular answer surprises by siding with the husband and suggests a psychotherapist session for the wife; the hosts mock Mr. Secular ("I got married to Peter Fonda").

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