Marriage: serving before lamenting, and 1 Peter 3:7
- How can I love my wife proactively instead of waiting to be told what to do?
A host confesses lamenting things he wishes his wife would do (like making him breakfast while he works from home) and asks whether he's doing the equivalent for her first — proposing that perspective-taking and action close 90% of the gap of lament. Dan tells the compression-socks story: after his wife's cancer and lymph-node complications, he started rubbing her swollen leg and realized he should be more intentional. Nathaniel describes weekly text check-ins with his wife and a monthly 'laundry list of where I'm sucking.' One host defends dudes' tendency to sit at the edge of the 'rocky quagmire' waiting to be told what to do, then doubles down: men are quick at familiar sacrificial tasks but weak at proactive serving outside their comfort zone, so they should double down instead of bailing. Dan cites 1 Peter 3:7 — dwelling with wives in an understanding way takes investigation.
More on Communication
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Is Jesus a good leader? The 10 qualities, part one
- Is Jesus a good leader by modern standards?
Mike runs a vague internet search for 'the 10 essential qualities of an effective leader' and the room grades Jesus. 1.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers
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Dear LFTP: the basement musician whose wife never asks him to play
- Am I asking too much to expect my wife to ask me to play, or should I just let it go and stop writing songs?
Mike reads a letter from a married-31-years basement musician and songwriter whose non-musical wife has never once asked him to play — he wonders if he's asking too much or should stop writing.
From No. 597 · Maybe A Word From God
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Dear LFTP: wife mocks husband's bladder problem in public
- How should I respond when my wife mocks me and my bladder problem in public?
Mike reads a letter from a man married three years whose wife calls him vulgar names in public and makes his bladder-control problem into comedy.