Dear LFTP: the incarcerated husband
- My husband is serving a life sentence and I have met someone new — what should I do?
- How would you counsel the incarcerated husband who wants to divorce his wife to free her from the marriage?
Mike reads a heavier letter: the writer's husband is serving a life sentence with the possibility of parole, having turned himself in a year and a half ago for a crime from fifteen years ago; seven months ago she met a church-involved man with a homeless ministry, and she feels guilty. The hosts call it a brutal roll of the dice and refuse the quick answer: don't make the decision at seven months, eighteen months, or even three years in — you need years to acclimate before you're in any headspace to hear Jesus on it, and 'maturity' here is a situation, not a person. They test the edges — a framed husband, a spouse in a coma or with Alzheimer's — and land on covenant: don't try to outthink what God designed as permanent, and don't mistake the practical (unmet needs, greener grass) for the covenantal. Mike asks how they'd counsel the husband who wants to divorce his wife to free her; Ben says the same — 'wait five years, bro' — since tearing apart what God joined has permanent consequences even when it feels noble. Secular says to discuss it with the incarcerated husband honestly; Ben pushes back that framing it as 'if you love me you'll let me go' puts the man in an unfair position.
More on Marriage
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Dear LFTP: the spontaneous husband and the 7 p.m. date
- My spontaneous husband starts a project at 5 p.m., fails to cancel our 7 p.m. date, and shows up late in work clothes. Please advise.
Mike reads the second letter: a planner wife of two years whose spontaneous husband started a household project at 5 p.m., agreed to cancel their 7 p.m. date, never told the other couple, then showed up 45 minutes late in work clothes.
From No. 601 · Humble Faithful Idiot
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Dear LFTP: the basement musician whose wife never asks him to play
- Am I asking too much to expect my wife to ask me to play, or should I just let it go and stop writing songs?
Mike reads a letter from a married-31-years basement musician and songwriter whose non-musical wife has never once asked him to play — he wonders if he's asking too much or should stop writing.
From No. 597 · Maybe A Word From God
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Dear LFTP: the reluctant grandmother
- Am I wrong to prefer not to drive an hour and a half to visit my husband's grandbabies?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a 56-year-old married twelve years who doesn't want to drive an hour and a half to visit her husband's grandbabies — she's 'not into babies or children' — and can't understand why he won't stop asking.
From No. 596 · Mr. Prayer Closet
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Dear LFTP 1: the fiance who impulse-bought Butch the dog
- Dear LFTP: my fiance impulse-bought a dog I did not want, and I resent him — what do I do?
Mike reads the first letter: a woman's fiance talked her into "just looking" at puppies, then put money on the counter over her objections — now they have Butch, an active breed neither has time for, and she resents him.
From No. 595 · Trust But Verify