Pew ushers, sad Jesuses, and the basilica

The hosts roast the church's congregational call-and-response reading — the speed readers, the slow readers, the rhythm-makers — and invent a comedy bit about a pew-rope usher whose defenses get flanked. They complain that every Jesus in the building looked sad, and discuss being creeped out by saint statues and stained glass, including a Des Moines basilica visited for a high-school world-religions class, which one host says would push a non-Christian away.