Dear LFTP: husband lost the ability to perform, five years of hurt remarks

• Dear LFTP: what do I do about a husband who lost the ability to perform and turns every remark into a sexual insult?

The second letter: a woman married 35 years says her husband lost the ability to perform sexually five years ago; he turns every remark of hers into one about sex and her feelings are often hurt. The hosts guess he may be dealing with it poorly — embarrassed, angry, humbled — and say he needs friends to tell him plainly that if he's not exercising or eating differently, they don't want to hear the complaints; he needs to be honest about the problem with his wife. The Secular answer says he may be projecting embarrassment and frustration, suggests discussing it with the family physician, and is judged genuinely helpful by the hosts.