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Dear LFTP July 10, 2023 · 1:17:27 · 10 min

Dear LFTP: the milquetoast boyfriends

  • How can I be less critical of my daughter's milquetoast boyfriends, and how do I respond tactfully when she asks my impression?

A listener writes asking for an attitude adjustment: their athletic, type-A daughter in her thirties dates men the parent calls 'wussy, milquetoast, dead-fish-handshake individuals' and asks how to be less critical and how to answer tactfully when she asks for their impression. The hosts advise honesty without cruelty — ask guiding questions like 'what do you see in him?' — and note that opposites can complement, but a partner should enrich rather than merely let the other dominate. The secular answer ('tell your daughter she doesn't need your endorsement... bite your tongue') is read and rejected as lazy parenting: warning a child about a hole is loving, even when they choose it anyway.

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