Boova's dilemma: secret kindness versus wanting validation
- Should Boova tell the person about the kind act he did so they feel loved, or stay quiet to avoid seeking validation?
Boova (speaker-2, addressed as 'Buva' at seg-00011 and 'Bubba' at seg-00539) describes doing a kind act — washing a car, filling the washer fluid and gas for someone — that went completely unnoticed, and asks whether telling them would be loving (so they feel the love) or selfish validation-seeking. The hosts land on: live a life of quiet service and people will notice; Ben shares how his family asks 'is there anything you did for me that I did not notice,' Dan warns against demanding credit, and the room jokes about a code word ('plot plot fizz fizz,' from an Alka-Seltzer ad) and doing 95 percent of a job so someone notices the rest.
More on Family
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: the single man and the holiday cliques
- Would it be wrong for the lonely single man to start declining holiday invitations?
The first Dear LFTP letter: a single man, happy with his life and plenty of friends and family, dreads the holidays — at Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings of 15 to 25 people,…
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: the grandma, 'Libby,' and the weight comment
- Was I wrong to mention my concern about Libby's weight?
Mike reads the letter: she moved 2,000 miles to be near her daughter's family; granddaughter 'Libby' was diagnosed with a medical condition and put on weight.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the Mimi letter ('Call Me Hoopi')
- Is it wrong for a grandmother to be upset when her grandson's other grandmother claims the same nickname?
Mike reads the Dear LFTP letter: a grandmother whose two-year-old grandson calls her Mimi — but the other grandmother claimed Mimi for herself, and the daughter-in-law is annoyed and doesn't want 'mom mom' either.