Dear LFTP — the grandchildren who won't visit grandma

• Why is it that people always have time to go to a funeral but don't take the time to visit someone special while they're still alive?
• Is it fair to try to guilt grandchildren into visiting their grandmother?

Boova (speaker-2) reads a Dear LFTP letter: her 98-year-old mother has spent eight years in a nursing home, sharp-minded but frail; the siblings visit, but the eight grandchildren say they're too busy or can't stand nursing homes — and the writer asks why people make time for funerals but not visits to the living. The "Secular" answer advises taking relatives out for brunch and bringing the kids along to share the conversation. Dan says every funeral he's done ends with the family vowing to get together more and nobody doing it; Ben cautions against guilt-tripping — this is his own stage of life, four kids and no peripheral time — and argues guilt rarely changes behavior.