Dear LFTP: husband on the oil rig and a spinal surgery
- How do I communicate with my neglectful husband without causing issues, and am I wrong to be upset?
A letter describes a husband who works twenty days a month on an oil rig, spends his home time on his phone, and left his wife alone with friends a few hours after her spinal surgery against doctor's orders; she asks how to communicate without causing issues and whether she is wrong. The hosts say the problem is real - naming it is not causing it - and discuss how travel work erodes a man's place in the home, why kids need their dad more than his money, and recommend a third-party marriage counselor. The Secular answer: you are not wrong; evaluate the relationship, since they are mostly living as single people.
More on Marriage
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Dear LFTP: the spontaneous husband and the 7 p.m. date
- My spontaneous husband starts a project at 5 p.m., fails to cancel our 7 p.m. date, and shows up late in work clothes. Please advise.
Mike reads the second letter: a planner wife of two years whose spontaneous husband started a household project at 5 p.m., agreed to cancel their 7 p.m. date, never told the other couple, then showed up 45 minutes late in work clothes.
From No. 601 · Humble Faithful Idiot
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Dear LFTP: the basement musician whose wife never asks him to play
- Am I asking too much to expect my wife to ask me to play, or should I just let it go and stop writing songs?
Mike reads a letter from a married-31-years basement musician and songwriter whose non-musical wife has never once asked him to play — he wonders if he's asking too much or should stop writing.
From No. 597 · Maybe A Word From God
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Dear LFTP: the reluctant grandmother
- Am I wrong to prefer not to drive an hour and a half to visit my husband's grandbabies?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a 56-year-old married twelve years who doesn't want to drive an hour and a half to visit her husband's grandbabies — she's 'not into babies or children' — and can't understand why he won't stop asking.
From No. 596 · Mr. Prayer Closet
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Dear LFTP: the incarcerated husband
- My husband is serving a life sentence and I have met someone new — what should I do?
- How would you counsel the incarcerated husband who wants to divorce his wife to free her from the marriage?
Mike reads a heavier letter: the writer's husband is serving a life sentence with the possibility of parole, having turned himself in a year and a half ago for a crime from…
From No. 596 · Mr. Prayer Closet