Dear LFTP: telling the kids about IVF with a sperm donor
- How do we explain our IVF and sperm-donor conception to our children, friends, and family without becoming the focus of gossip and whispers?
The reader reads a letter from parents of four-year-old twins conceived through IVF with a sperm donor after male-factor infertility; they want to be open with their children but fear gossip, since the husband is still uncomfortable. The hosts say the husband's pride is the issue: the donor makes it essentially an adoption, identity is in being a son of Christ not in biology, and 'you get to raise one of God's children for His glory and your joy.' The 'secular answer' says infertility is no longer a shameful secret and details can come in age-appropriate stages. One host shares his own family went through fertility treatment.
More on Grace
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Should following Jesus feel more comfortable as time goes on?
- Should following Jesus feel more comfortable as time goes on?
A host asks whether following Jesus should feel more comfortable as time goes on — noting the low-level tension many feel around am-I-doing-enough and the stigma that contentment equals laziness.
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Dear LFTP: the friend group's new wife
- How do we tell the husband that they are not invited, and who should deliver the message?
A host reads a second Dear LFTP letter: ten college-friend couples are planning a once-in-a-lifetime cruise, and nobody wants the remarried friend's demanding new wife on the ship.
From No. 592 · Because I Got High
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Dear LFTP: the $600 lawnmower and buying them a mower
- My nephew's wife took my $600, lied about it, and is avoiding me. Should I say something or let it go?
Mike reads a letter from someone who gave a nephew's wife $600 for a self-propelled lawnmower; she spent it, never bought the mower, and now avoids them.
From No. 587 · Coffee After Sunday
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Dear LFTP: the $900 couch letter
- My best friend and her son (about a thousand pounds combined) cracked my new $900 couch and want to bring more family over — what do I do?
Mike reads the second letter (same anchor/merge note): the writer bought a new house and a $900 couch; her best friend and the friend's son — 'about a thousand pounds' combined — audibly cracked it and now want to bring more family.