Dear LFTP: single mom in Yokohama asks about cutting ties
- Should I cut ties with my child's absent father forever, or keep messaging him about milestones?
A single mother in Yokohama, Japan writes that her son's father has refused responsibility since before the birth; he briefly said he'd try, but never calls, and they live miles apart. She asks whether to cut ties forever or keep messaging him milestones. The hosts advise keeping the door open: keep sending updates for the child's sake and treat the man better than he deserves (mercy), while expecting nothing — "cutting ties" is an unhelpful concept when a child permanently links two people. The secular advice agrees: don't expect him to suddenly develop a conscience, but keeping contact info on file for the child's future is laudable.
More on Forgiveness
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Dear LFTP: the $4,200 loan that never came back
- How do I get past the sadness over the $4,200 loan my friend never repaid — do I just let it go?
The final Dear LFTP letter: a year ago a supposed friend asked to borrow money — her husband had left the country to renew his visa, her car was repossessed, she had no way to get to work.
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: the stolen college fund and telling the 90-year-olds
- Should I tell my 90-year-old parents that their grandson stole my granddaughter's college fund?
Ben hands to Mike, who reads a grandmother's letter: her son helped himself to the college money the great-grandparents set aside for her granddaughter; she fears telling her parents, in their nineties, could shock them into a stroke.
From No. 586 · Nothing Personal
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Dear LFTP: forty years of a cheating wife and a temptation
- Would it be wrong to rekindle an old friendship for intimacy when my wife has cheated for forty years?
A man approaching his fortieth anniversary writes that his wife has always been a serial cheater, a secret he kept to protect the children's view of her; with retirement and a sexless marriage he asks whether rekindling things with old female friends would be wrong.
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: the stalker ex-girlfriend
- How do I get my stalker ex-girlfriend to leave me alone?
Mike reads a letter from a man whose ex-girlfriend keeps trying to get him back, even stalking him, after he blocked her number.