Dear LFTP: reconciling with the mother-in-law

• My mother badmouthed my husband and now our marriage is reconciled; should I ask her to apologize or let it go?

A host reads a letter from a woman whose marriage nearly failed; she badmouthed her husband to her mother, who told him she never wanted to see him again, and now asks whether to have her mother apologize or let it go. The hosts advise a two-step: she reconciles with her mother first, owning that she created the bad feeling, then visits together once things are straight, noting a mother's instinct to defend her child. The Secular answer is read: speak privately to the mother, have her explain the 'mother bear defending her cub' email, and in the future resolve marital problems as an adult rather than running to one's mother.