Dear LFTP: enabling a financially dependent 26-year-old stepson
- Am I unrealistic to expect an adult (my 26-year-old stepson Eli) to support himself?
- How should a couple handle disagreement over continuing to financially support an adult child?
The reader (speaker-0) reads a Dear LFTP letter: the writer married nine years ago; her husband fully funds his 26-year-old son Eli (car insurance, phone, utilities, monthly deposits), and Eli has never earned more than $12,000 a year and shows no desire to work. She asks if she is unrealistic to expect an adult to support himself. The hosts agree a 26-year-old should work, but flag the bigger issue as the husband refusing financial conversations ('you don't know my finances') and parents needing to let children fail; one host stresses knowing the kind of adult you want to produce. The Secular answer is read: she is being rational, the husband and his ex are fostering financial dependence, and marriage counseling is suggested.
More on Marriage
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Dear LFTP: the spontaneous husband and the 7 p.m. date
- My spontaneous husband starts a project at 5 p.m., fails to cancel our 7 p.m. date, and shows up late in work clothes. Please advise.
Mike reads the second letter: a planner wife of two years whose spontaneous husband started a household project at 5 p.m., agreed to cancel their 7 p.m. date, never told the other couple, then showed up 45 minutes late in work clothes.
From No. 601 · Humble Faithful Idiot
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Dear LFTP: the basement musician whose wife never asks him to play
- Am I asking too much to expect my wife to ask me to play, or should I just let it go and stop writing songs?
Mike reads a letter from a married-31-years basement musician and songwriter whose non-musical wife has never once asked him to play — he wonders if he's asking too much or should stop writing.
From No. 597 · Maybe A Word From God
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Dear LFTP: the reluctant grandmother
- Am I wrong to prefer not to drive an hour and a half to visit my husband's grandbabies?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a 56-year-old married twelve years who doesn't want to drive an hour and a half to visit her husband's grandbabies — she's 'not into babies or children' — and can't understand why he won't stop asking.
From No. 596 · Mr. Prayer Closet
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Dear LFTP: the incarcerated husband
- My husband is serving a life sentence and I have met someone new — what should I do?
- How would you counsel the incarcerated husband who wants to divorce his wife to free her from the marriage?
Mike reads a heavier letter: the writer's husband is serving a life sentence with the possibility of parole, having turned himself in a year and a half ago for a crime from…
From No. 596 · Mr. Prayer Closet