Dear LFTP: the 25-year-old son, Christmas tickets, and financial boundaries
- A listener's 25-year-old son wants Christmas travel and a fee change while being financially irresponsible — how should the parents respond?
A host reads a Dear LFTP letter: a retired couple's 25-year-old son Jay wants to come home for Christmas, then asked to leave two days early — a $150 change fee on top of the $215 ticket they already bought. He earns six figures yet is late on the parent loan the mother co-signed after he blew a $60,000 settlement. The hosts' advice: yes, they are being taken advantage of; stop flying the kids around and fly to see them instead; have him pay the $150 change fee as a line in the sand; give him a chance to respond reasonably, and if not, recognize what they are dealing with and stop funding it. A host invokes Ben's oft-repeated saying that people cannot steal from you what you give them. The 'secular answer' suggests telling the son to grow up, pay on time, or face estate-plan consequences.
More on Boundaries
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers