Dear LFTP: the unwanted furniture from dad and stepmom
- Must I send a thank-you for a gift I explicitly asked them not to send, and what should I say when they discover I've given it away?
- How do I prevent unwanted gifts like this from happening again?
A listener writes that her father and his wife sent a huge piece of furniture to her small apartment despite her politely refusing — she is pregnant, the piece cannot be returned, will not fit in her car, and she cannot lift it. The hosts say the parents are 100% at fault and the feeling of sending a big gift mattered more than being helpful; do not send a fake thank-you card, have the honest conversation ('do you want it back?'), and use Craigslist or pay someone $5 to haul it. They also read the 'Secular' answer, which advises sending a sweet note plus photos of the crowded living room.
More on Boundaries
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers