Dear LFTP: the family-baggage letter
- How do I handle my brother moving back to town with his criminal children and grandchildren?
The reader reads a second letter: the writer's widower brother, described as depressed and a terrible father, plans to move back to their hometown with his children and adult grandchildren, described as felons, ex-cons, drug addicts, alcoholics, and thieves, while the writer and her husband want nothing to do with them and ask how to handle it. The hosts push back on pre-unwelcoming people: set boundaries, good fences make good neighbors and by their fruits you shall know them, without painting whole lives with someone's worst act, allow for redemption as in the Pharisee and the tax collector, and do not let fear run the decision. The secular answer advises asking the brother his actual plans, listening carefully, then kindly but firmly saying they cannot entertain the family in their home given the criminal history.
More on Boundaries
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers