Dear LFTP: the 20-year drinking-and-chewing bargain
- Should I revisit the drinking/chewing bargain with my husband?
A Dear LFTP letter: after almost 20 years of marriage, a wife agreed in her twenties not to drink while her husband wouldn't chew tobacco — but he still chews twice a year while holding her to the bargain. The hosts are split but impressed by 'twice-a-year chew man,' the master of restraint, and converge on the real problem: bargaining puts the spouse in the role of enforcer, so failures breed hiding instead of support. Dan flags the husband's hypocrisy — breaking his own promise while holding her to hers. The hosts advise blowing the whole deal up and restarting as mutual encouragement rather than antagonism. Mid-discussion the hosts interrogate their own tobacco histories: Nathaniel tried a fruity vape once, and Mike admits he chews ('I may or may not have a chew') for long meetings.
More on Forgiveness
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Dear LFTP: the $4,200 loan that never came back
- How do I get past the sadness over the $4,200 loan my friend never repaid — do I just let it go?
The final Dear LFTP letter: a year ago a supposed friend asked to borrow money — her husband had left the country to renew his visa, her car was repossessed, she had no way to get to work.
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: the stolen college fund and telling the 90-year-olds
- Should I tell my 90-year-old parents that their grandson stole my granddaughter's college fund?
Ben hands to Mike, who reads a grandmother's letter: her son helped himself to the college money the great-grandparents set aside for her granddaughter; she fears telling her parents, in their nineties, could shock them into a stroke.
From No. 586 · Nothing Personal
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Dear LFTP: forty years of a cheating wife and a temptation
- Would it be wrong to rekindle an old friendship for intimacy when my wife has cheated for forty years?
A man approaching his fortieth anniversary writes that his wife has always been a serial cheater, a secret he kept to protect the children's view of her; with retirement and a sexless marriage he asks whether rekindling things with old female friends would be wrong.
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: the stalker ex-girlfriend
- How do I get my stalker ex-girlfriend to leave me alone?
Mike reads a letter from a man whose ex-girlfriend keeps trying to get him back, even stalking him, after he blocked her number.