Dear LFTP: landscaping help for a friend who rejects every suggestion
- Dear LFTP: am I in the wrong after offering landscaping help to a friend who rejected every suggestion?
The final letter, flagged as drama: the writer offered a longtime friend help landscaping a tiny area; the friend picked a reluctant landscaper's brain without hiring him, procrastinated for months, then rejected every viable suggestion and said she'd just plant what she originally wanted. The writer snapped that she didn't need his help; she said he'd told her he wouldn't help. The hosts side mostly with the writer — she was underappreciated, the friend sounds like a weasel — but admit he handled it poorly; the remedy offered is a gracious exit: point her to where to look, then let her decide. A hosta-as-yard-toupee comedy detour precedes the Secular answer: you're not in the wrong, no good deed goes unpunished.
More on Boundaries
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers