Dear LFTP: forty-year marriage, ex-girlfriends, and a short temper
- My husband praises the women he knew before me and is harsh with me; where do I go from here?
The one letter: a woman married forty years writes that her husband constantly praises the girls he knew before her in glowing terms and is short-tempered, fault-finding, and harsh with her; when she told him how it made her feel, he said she was sick in the head. The hosts are blunt about him — an intimidating bully and a verbal abuser — but argue she needs Jesus-centered community around her so his words stop penetrating, plus confrontation with the truth and possibly a counselor for the negative self-talk. Secular's answer: get a licensed psychotherapist to work out why she tolerated forty years of this and rebuild her self-esteem. The hosts largely agree with Secular, adding that hurting people hurt people — a line credited to Dan Hudson — while holding that Christians love the abuser enough to show him a way out. The segment also plays on the romance of the past: previous relationships never survived twenty-five years of trials, so the memory is fiction.
More on Marriage
-
Dear LFTP: the spontaneous husband and the 7 p.m. date
- My spontaneous husband starts a project at 5 p.m., fails to cancel our 7 p.m. date, and shows up late in work clothes. Please advise.
Mike reads the second letter: a planner wife of two years whose spontaneous husband started a household project at 5 p.m., agreed to cancel their 7 p.m. date, never told the other couple, then showed up 45 minutes late in work clothes.
From No. 601 · Humble Faithful Idiot
-
Dear LFTP: the basement musician whose wife never asks him to play
- Am I asking too much to expect my wife to ask me to play, or should I just let it go and stop writing songs?
Mike reads a letter from a married-31-years basement musician and songwriter whose non-musical wife has never once asked him to play — he wonders if he's asking too much or should stop writing.
From No. 597 · Maybe A Word From God
-
Dear LFTP: the reluctant grandmother
- Am I wrong to prefer not to drive an hour and a half to visit my husband's grandbabies?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a 56-year-old married twelve years who doesn't want to drive an hour and a half to visit her husband's grandbabies — she's 'not into babies or children' — and can't understand why he won't stop asking.
From No. 596 · Mr. Prayer Closet
-
Dear LFTP: the incarcerated husband
- My husband is serving a life sentence and I have met someone new — what should I do?
- How would you counsel the incarcerated husband who wants to divorce his wife to free her from the marriage?
Mike reads a heavier letter: the writer's husband is serving a life sentence with the possibility of parole, having turned himself in a year and a half ago for a crime from…
From No. 596 · Mr. Prayer Closet