Dear LFTP: the in-laws who need a hotel, and 'it's not anxiety, it's arrogance'
- Am I unreasonable for making my disrespectful in-laws stay in a hotel?
Mike reads a letter from a woman whose disrespectful in-laws stay with them when they visit; since her son was born she told her husband they need a hotel, but they complain about cost and her mother-in-law wants to buy a sleep sofa. The hosts back the boundary — the husband is 'a bit of a weak liver puffball' for not believing what happens when he is not around — and land a tough cut: Mike argues the letter writer's anxiety is partly arrogance, inserting herself into problems that are not hers ('you have the right amount of towels for your family'). Ben adds that the core problem is worrying about the opinions of fickle people. The Secular answer agrees the hotel solution is sensible and suggests spending time away during visits.
More on Boundaries
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers